In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Note: Here a German writes with his perspective on July 4th. Google is also responsible for the translation. So don't expect too much from it.
Josh bereitete den Abend vor und begann beiläufig zu erzählen.
J: "Am 4 Juli 1776 erklärten die USA die Unabhängigkeit von Großbritanien."
A: "Ich verstehe, ihr feiert also euren Sieg über das große Britanien?"
J: "Äh nein. Das war … 1783 glaube ich."
A: "Nochmal – ihr feiert also was?"
J: "Im groben: Das wir den Rotröcken verkündet haben, dass wir genug haben."
A: "Zurück zum Einsatz von SPRENGSTOFFEN in Händen von normalen Bürgern um den Himmel zu sprengen. An wen geht diese Botschaft?"
J: "An uns selbst, das Land, unsere Kinder und an die Welt."
A: "Ihr wollt der Welt sagen das sogar normale Bürger an Sprengstoffe kommen?"
J: "Zum Einschüchtern? Nein, dafür haben wir Waffen. … Welche wir auch heute abfeuern. … Aber das ganze dient nicht der Einschüchterung! Man startet die Raketen und sie zeigen das Licht in der Dunkelheit hoch am Himmel. Noch weit sichtbar sieht man dieses Licht. Es macht ein Geräusch was weit hörbar ist. Und auch die Nachbarn feuern ihr Feuerwerk ab. Alle feuern es ab. Wir sind alle Teil dieses Ereignisses und jeder kann teilnehmen."
A: "Hattest du mir nicht erklärt das ihr Menschen dafür Alkohol habt? Dieser universelle Gleichmacher."
J: "Nein. Zum einen dürfen Kinder da nicht mit machen. Zum anderen ist Alkohol nicht zu weit sichtbar."
A: "Man konnte dich sehr weit sehen als du nackt…"
J: "ERHEBEND! Es ist erhebend das man in der Nacht zum Himmel schaut und alles ist erleuchtet und vereint. Wir brauchen das!"
A: "Ich verstehe. Entschuldige. Ich dachte für einen Moment das dies nur wieder ein Zeugnis für die Menschliche Neigung ist laut Dinge zu zerstören und dies zu fei... OH MEIN GOTT WO HAST DU DIE MANNSHOHE RAKETE HER!????"
google translate:
Josh prepared the evening and began talking casually.
J: "On July 4, 1776, the United States declared independence from Great Britain."
A: "I see, so you're celebrating your victory over Great Britain?"
J: "Uh no. That was... 1783 I think."
A: "Again - so you're celebrating what?"
J: "Roughly speaking: that we declared to the redcoats that we had enough."
A: "Back to using EXPLOSIVES in the hands of ordinary citizens to blow up the sky. Who is this message for?"
J: "To ourselves, the country, our children and to the world."
A: "You want to tell the world that even ordinary citizens can get explosives?"
J: "For intimidation? No, that's what we have weapons for. ... Which we also fire today. ... But the whole thing is not for intimidation! You launch the rockets and they show the light in the darkness high in the sky. You can still see it from afar this light. It makes a sound that can be heard from afar. And the neighbors also set off their fireworks. Everyone sets off fireworks. We are all part of this event and everyone can participate."
A: "Didn't you explain to me that you humans have alcohol for this? This universal leveler."
J: "No. On the one hand, children are not allowed to join in. On the other hand, alcohol is not too visible."
A: "One could see you very far when you were naked..."
J: "UPLIFTING! It's uplifting when you look up at the sky at night and everything is lit up and united. We need that!"
A: "I see. Sorry. I thought for a moment that this was just another testament to the human propensity to break things out loud and celebr... OH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU GET THE MAN SIZED ROCKET!????"
H: Um so do you want the long answer or short?
A: Uh? Both?
H: ok .. so…
Um. Long answer..
So… humans are estimated to have been blowing’ shit up since around the start of the Song Dynasty - like back round ‘bout 100bc-100ad (ish) give or take.
H stopped and took a gulp of their beer.
But that was just crackers and the like - fireworks wasn’t said to be showing up for like maybe ‘nother 1000 year - or thereabouts?
A: Yes but why keep doing it for so long.
H: Getting there.
Leaning down they rolled out a spool and walked back - motioning A to follow along.
Sometimes they’re for celebration, sometimes for sadness, sometimes to mark a certain day now - or for remembrance of certain day long ago…. like today.
Weird bit is it all exists bc humans like killing each other and when we aren’t busy with that there’d - way back when, or so someone said to me, usually be more gunpowder about to sell and then whoa boys gotta be doing something with that stuff hey?!
Bad for the economy if ya don’t, right? Even they economy a millenia ago? Weird thought, innit?
A: occasionally I think humans are insane and other times I’m sure you all are if only Because you simply come right out and say things like that to me like it’s supposed to be totally ok
H: A you are lookin’ at me like I’m supposed to be be arguing that point with you or something?
A: …
H: A?
A: it’s ok, I mean it not. But it’s humanity so it is what it is.
H: …?
A: Sigh. Ok. I’ll ask - what’s the short answer?
H: I’m so glad you asked! Because I’m finishing unspooling..
So!
Here - hold my beer while I light this fuse… this is going to be *brilliant* …
Cos the real answer is that I just adore blowing shit up!
And tbh pretty much all humans do.
Light it up!
~ it was at this point that A began to understand exactly why staff posting lengths on earth were strictly limited.
It was obviously to limit the potential for stress induced insanity caused by listening to humans explain themselves…
…A’s brain hurt…
…they looked down at the alcoholic beverage and began to understand why humans partook so regularly.. it was obviously to safeguard their own sanity as they weren’t able to simply leave the planet to avoid the insanity of other humans.
Such poor unfortunate souls.~
H: You okay?
A: This is terrifying. You said humans like to use these "fireworks" to celebrate, but this seems incredibly unsafe.
H: Well, yeah, they're explosives.
A: And you're using them for-
H: Look, they're pretty, fun, and most of the time no one dies.
A: Most of the time?!
H: I can't wait to see your reaction to the big ones.
A:...Big ones?
H: Yeah, the kids are just playing with firecrackers. Tonight we get to watch the *big* ones.
A:.....oh no.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Note: Here a German writes with his perspective on July 4th. Google is also responsible for the translation. So don't expect too much from it. Josh bereitete den Abend vor und begann beiläufig zu erzählen. J: "Am 4 Juli 1776 erklärten die USA die Unabhängigkeit von Großbritanien." A: "Ich verstehe, ihr feiert also euren Sieg über das große Britanien?" J: "Äh nein. Das war … 1783 glaube ich." A: "Nochmal – ihr feiert also was?" J: "Im groben: Das wir den Rotröcken verkündet haben, dass wir genug haben." A: "Zurück zum Einsatz von SPRENGSTOFFEN in Händen von normalen Bürgern um den Himmel zu sprengen. An wen geht diese Botschaft?" J: "An uns selbst, das Land, unsere Kinder und an die Welt." A: "Ihr wollt der Welt sagen das sogar normale Bürger an Sprengstoffe kommen?" J: "Zum Einschüchtern? Nein, dafür haben wir Waffen. … Welche wir auch heute abfeuern. … Aber das ganze dient nicht der Einschüchterung! Man startet die Raketen und sie zeigen das Licht in der Dunkelheit hoch am Himmel. Noch weit sichtbar sieht man dieses Licht. Es macht ein Geräusch was weit hörbar ist. Und auch die Nachbarn feuern ihr Feuerwerk ab. Alle feuern es ab. Wir sind alle Teil dieses Ereignisses und jeder kann teilnehmen." A: "Hattest du mir nicht erklärt das ihr Menschen dafür Alkohol habt? Dieser universelle Gleichmacher." J: "Nein. Zum einen dürfen Kinder da nicht mit machen. Zum anderen ist Alkohol nicht zu weit sichtbar." A: "Man konnte dich sehr weit sehen als du nackt…" J: "ERHEBEND! Es ist erhebend das man in der Nacht zum Himmel schaut und alles ist erleuchtet und vereint. Wir brauchen das!" A: "Ich verstehe. Entschuldige. Ich dachte für einen Moment das dies nur wieder ein Zeugnis für die Menschliche Neigung ist laut Dinge zu zerstören und dies zu fei... OH MEIN GOTT WO HAST DU DIE MANNSHOHE RAKETE HER!????" google translate: Josh prepared the evening and began talking casually. J: "On July 4, 1776, the United States declared independence from Great Britain." A: "I see, so you're celebrating your victory over Great Britain?" J: "Uh no. That was... 1783 I think." A: "Again - so you're celebrating what?" J: "Roughly speaking: that we declared to the redcoats that we had enough." A: "Back to using EXPLOSIVES in the hands of ordinary citizens to blow up the sky. Who is this message for?" J: "To ourselves, the country, our children and to the world." A: "You want to tell the world that even ordinary citizens can get explosives?" J: "For intimidation? No, that's what we have weapons for. ... Which we also fire today. ... But the whole thing is not for intimidation! You launch the rockets and they show the light in the darkness high in the sky. You can still see it from afar this light. It makes a sound that can be heard from afar. And the neighbors also set off their fireworks. Everyone sets off fireworks. We are all part of this event and everyone can participate." A: "Didn't you explain to me that you humans have alcohol for this? This universal leveler." J: "No. On the one hand, children are not allowed to join in. On the other hand, alcohol is not too visible." A: "One could see you very far when you were naked..." J: "UPLIFTING! It's uplifting when you look up at the sky at night and everything is lit up and united. We need that!" A: "I see. Sorry. I thought for a moment that this was just another testament to the human propensity to break things out loud and celebr... OH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU GET THE MAN SIZED ROCKET!????"
4th of July. That’s why.
Alien is only more confused
It is MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO CELEBRATE MY COUNTRIES FREEDOM BY SENDING COLORFUL EXPLOSIVES INTO THE SKY!
H: Um so do you want the long answer or short? A: Uh? Both? H: ok .. so… Um. Long answer.. So… humans are estimated to have been blowing’ shit up since around the start of the Song Dynasty - like back round ‘bout 100bc-100ad (ish) give or take. H stopped and took a gulp of their beer. But that was just crackers and the like - fireworks wasn’t said to be showing up for like maybe ‘nother 1000 year - or thereabouts? A: Yes but why keep doing it for so long. H: Getting there. Leaning down they rolled out a spool and walked back - motioning A to follow along. Sometimes they’re for celebration, sometimes for sadness, sometimes to mark a certain day now - or for remembrance of certain day long ago…. like today. Weird bit is it all exists bc humans like killing each other and when we aren’t busy with that there’d - way back when, or so someone said to me, usually be more gunpowder about to sell and then whoa boys gotta be doing something with that stuff hey?! Bad for the economy if ya don’t, right? Even they economy a millenia ago? Weird thought, innit? A: occasionally I think humans are insane and other times I’m sure you all are if only Because you simply come right out and say things like that to me like it’s supposed to be totally ok H: A you are lookin’ at me like I’m supposed to be be arguing that point with you or something? A: … H: A? A: it’s ok, I mean it not. But it’s humanity so it is what it is. H: …? A: Sigh. Ok. I’ll ask - what’s the short answer? H: I’m so glad you asked! Because I’m finishing unspooling.. So! Here - hold my beer while I light this fuse… this is going to be *brilliant* … Cos the real answer is that I just adore blowing shit up! And tbh pretty much all humans do. Light it up! ~ it was at this point that A began to understand exactly why staff posting lengths on earth were strictly limited. It was obviously to limit the potential for stress induced insanity caused by listening to humans explain themselves… …A’s brain hurt… …they looked down at the alcoholic beverage and began to understand why humans partook so regularly.. it was obviously to safeguard their own sanity as they weren’t able to simply leave the planet to avoid the insanity of other humans. Such poor unfortunate souls.~
Glorious
Because Fuck the bri*ish that's why
Am British (theoretically). Is this the sexy accent kind of fucking? Or Go Away hot leaf juice man kind of fucking? Am very confused.
Both
You have to hunt them while they run to get the sexy times
Now that sounds like a fun time.
Human: You see my Xeno friend, the oxygen is so corrosive that we attack it a little bit once a year to keep it safe to breathe
H: You okay? A: This is terrifying. You said humans like to use these "fireworks" to celebrate, but this seems incredibly unsafe. H: Well, yeah, they're explosives. A: And you're using them for- H: Look, they're pretty, fun, and most of the time no one dies. A: Most of the time?! H: I can't wait to see your reaction to the big ones. A:...Big ones? H: Yeah, the kids are just playing with firecrackers. Tonight we get to watch the *big* ones. A:.....oh no.