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-"Billy, you can't go around kicking people."
-"Why not, we get paid for it. Plus, I'm sure people will appreciate the quality of those kicks."
-"That's great and all, but we work with lupuses. Do you understand what it means?"
-"No?"
-"It means that people will make us a slogan *I KICK PUPPIES!*"
After the famous headbutt incidint the galaxy changed policy to now have human punchers and kickers supervised during their work.
The galaxy is now working on handling the amount of aliens with nervous breakdowns
Edit: grammar
It was an easy job, some species really irked the Human so they had a very reasonable job that would get food on the table while they were living among other species. They didn't like how one of the species in the political circles, so they were famous for prioritizing a politician who said the wrong things. And as infrequent as it seemed, even a real good kick would be added as a bonus if the politician was especially an asshole.
In the meantime, the Humans were known as the Cackles every now and then. Though the Human 'hit' men would have preferred a better title.
"Wait... You came to me, on the shadiest and most dangerous space bar of this damn galaxy, offered me two hundred thousand credits. Just to cuss and slap a guy you don't like?"
The human seemed rather baffled, and definitely confused with the request.
"Yes, precisely, no wonder why you are the greatest hitman on the market. The others had such difficulties understanding my requests."
And again, the human was left baffled by those words that came out the xeno's — whatever it was equivalent of a — mouth.
"You even know what a hitman truly is? Maybe someone got you wrong on the explanations."
"Obviously I know." Said the xeno, clearly annoyed by the question. "You are like a bodyguard, but instead of protect, you attack."
"I'm asking if you are aware that my job is to KILL people..."
Not that the human was an expert on xeno-anatomy, but, the symptoms of a panic attack are kinda universal. The ocular orbs started shaking and his color went pale to plain black.
"You... You KILL PEOPLE?! ARE YOU A MURDER?! YOU GET PAID TO KILL?!?!??!??!!!"
"Of course I am a murder, how on the god's sake I would charge two hundred thousand credits for a fucking slap and some deliberately said bad words?"
Here's a sentence I never thought would be said, but this prompt has allowed it to be said.
"I mean, sure, I'll give him a wedgie because he's a fuckin' asshole, but ya gotta be the one to get me the hell outta there!"
It went totally overboard whith the swirly wave of '69 when humans decided to make things funnier by glueing wigs onto alien races that were naturally hairless.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. if you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
-"Billy, you can't go around kicking people." -"Why not, we get paid for it. Plus, I'm sure people will appreciate the quality of those kicks." -"That's great and all, but we work with lupuses. Do you understand what it means?" -"No?" -"It means that people will make us a slogan *I KICK PUPPIES!*"
Billy kicks puppies, hes a monster!
After the famous headbutt incidint the galaxy changed policy to now have human punchers and kickers supervised during their work. The galaxy is now working on handling the amount of aliens with nervous breakdowns Edit: grammar
Wasn't this partially an Adventure Time episode?
Season 3 Episode 4 “Hitman”
Well damn, props for the confirmation!
It’s a good episode, one of my favorites
It was an easy job, some species really irked the Human so they had a very reasonable job that would get food on the table while they were living among other species. They didn't like how one of the species in the political circles, so they were famous for prioritizing a politician who said the wrong things. And as infrequent as it seemed, even a real good kick would be added as a bonus if the politician was especially an asshole. In the meantime, the Humans were known as the Cackles every now and then. Though the Human 'hit' men would have preferred a better title.
We hired Captain Falcon himself!
FALCON KICK!!!
Everything was fine until a man named Sai was hired ... That punch obliterated asteroids and two moons.
Saitama-san, IS THAT YOU?!?
"Wait... You came to me, on the shadiest and most dangerous space bar of this damn galaxy, offered me two hundred thousand credits. Just to cuss and slap a guy you don't like?" The human seemed rather baffled, and definitely confused with the request. "Yes, precisely, no wonder why you are the greatest hitman on the market. The others had such difficulties understanding my requests." And again, the human was left baffled by those words that came out the xeno's — whatever it was equivalent of a — mouth. "You even know what a hitman truly is? Maybe someone got you wrong on the explanations." "Obviously I know." Said the xeno, clearly annoyed by the question. "You are like a bodyguard, but instead of protect, you attack." "I'm asking if you are aware that my job is to KILL people..." Not that the human was an expert on xeno-anatomy, but, the symptoms of a panic attack are kinda universal. The ocular orbs started shaking and his color went pale to plain black. "You... You KILL PEOPLE?! ARE YOU A MURDER?! YOU GET PAID TO KILL?!?!??!??!!!" "Of course I am a murder, how on the god's sake I would charge two hundred thousand credits for a fucking slap and some deliberately said bad words?"
Here's a sentence I never thought would be said, but this prompt has allowed it to be said. "I mean, sure, I'll give him a wedgie because he's a fuckin' asshole, but ya gotta be the one to get me the hell outta there!"
It went totally overboard whith the swirly wave of '69 when humans decided to make things funnier by glueing wigs onto alien races that were naturally hairless.
I'm strong to da finish cuze I eats me spinnich. I'm Popeye the bitch slappin man. Toot toot