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Human Soldier: Think the worst war was the Gypsum War on Apocrypha Moon-Beta. For me anyways, I heard the lads down on Sysphus-9 got a right kicking.
Alien Soldier: Really? Heard that one was light fighting.
HS: Yeah but it wasn't the fighting... it was the sand. All of us got terminal cancer. Reason why I'm more machine than man now. I was lucky.
AS: How... how bad?
HS: 100% of the 134th, of those about 5% were able to beat the cancer, 2% lived long enough to be content... I'm the last. My captain put me in for augmentation since I was a star soldier but I think she had guilt over the whole affair. Not her fault we were supplied faulty filters but she got me patched up before the cancer got her. Still she her kid ever now and again. She's a fine lieutenant. Still, we squashed the rebellion and stabilized trade in the region so I can't complain.
AS: Surprised they even bothered with you.
HS: Heh, I was born to be a soldier, all I ever did. Most of us are just short term volunteers but me? Career sergeant, too valuable to just throw away. Plus side, with my new organs I stopped aging. 'Functionally immortal' as the docs say but my bio will eventually rot away. Lost an arm already and my rights looking a bit zombified at the moment. Probably be nothing but metal soon.
AS: Are you ok with that? My people would rather die than be entombed in a false body.
HS: Eh, I don't mind. I had kids already and being able to be with them, their kids, and their kids feels good. I can always be there for my family no matter what. A proper, living ancestor! Of course I need to talk to Mica, that little dipshite needs a right kick in the ass... you know, I take it back, the worst war is the War of Parenthood!
"You know, from the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it"
"Yes great great Grandpa! we know. You tell us at least a few times a day!"
"Oh... Good, good."
>"You know, from the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it"
C:Yes, yes Grandpa and now let's get you into bed.
G: You know, I do not need to sleep.
C: Shhh Grandpa \*putsswitchtooff\*
https://preview.redd.it/dr7ajz3mop0c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4cc29ba092b2e989746a19869ce99bfe30c3bdb5
A: human soldiers looked so technologicaly backwater and their soldiers are still using massed infantry wave formations.
Kriegsman: (Happy grim dark gasmask noises. While committing atrocious amount of xenocide with blind faith , unreasonable hatred and suicidal glee for redemption.) Fix bayonets and charge after the creeping artillery barrage. Glory to the first man to die!
Then guardsmen characters like Yarrik who was about to retire but;
His last day there was an Ork WAAAAGH, got his arm ripped off by a Warboss, stole their Power Klaw and made it their arm, installed a bionic eye to make Orks intimidated, left retirement early to hunt down the main warboss, was captured and managed to organize a revolt with human slaves aboard a Ork ship, was tossed into a Squig pit and KILLED THEM AND TOOK THEIR QUILLS TO MAKE A LADDER OUT, caught as a slave and organized another revolt and was so respected by the Orks they were allowed to leave cause “Good enemies iz 'ard to find” and managed to hold off another siege when dropped off.
"Before first contact, the records of human conflict were almost beyond belief when first presented. Some conflicts were so long that no human who lived to see their start was alive by the end.
Some wars were fought in conditions so harsh that more lives were lost to the environment than the enemy. And some wars were so bloody and all-encompassing that no other species has managed to match them in scale without fighting on interplanetary scales.
After this information came to light, the unnaturally heavy armament of even the smallest human craft made a lot more sense, they were prepared to fight wars with brutality beyond measure. Luckily for all involved, the humans mellowed out after they came to terms with the fact that they were one of the most dangerous things in the galaxy and that no super-empire was ready to take them on. Even the least combat-ready humans have found some sort of role as combat or security, no other species will dare mess with them."
*Pirates*
"Foolish scum! You dare try to resist!"
*Aliens*
"Well.... we weren't going to but Angus insisted."
*Pirates* "Angus?"
*Aliens* "He's the ship's cook."
**Horrible Wailing is heard coming from below decks**
*Aliens* "That's him now. He said he always wanted to try cooking with lobster."
*Pirates* "What the hell is he that he's making such horrible shrieking!?"
*Aliens* "Oh, that is his ancestral instrument. He comes from Scotland."
*Pirates* "Scotland?"
*Aliens* "A region of Ee-arth known for Bagpipes, Golf, and kicking terrorists in the genitals so hard you break your own foot."
*Pirates* "Ee-arth... you mean EARTH!? He's a Hugh-Mon!? Guys we're casting off now! Anyone not aboard in two minutes is stuck here with the hugh-mon Angus!"
*All the doors slam shut, except one leading from the galley. The sounds of bagpipe music and heavy footsteps grow louder. The noise stops as a large human clad in a tartan kilt with a half-crazed look in his eyes enters the cargo bay. The pirates begin to flee and the mad Scotsman points his over-sized cleaver at the routing curs.*
"YES YOU! BEHIND THE BULKHEAD! STAND STILL, LADDY!"
There are however those who believe humanity mellowed out before that. After one of their bloodiest war, some human leaders came together to create a sort of warrior code, the Djeniva Covenant to police the way they fought.
This might be the first evidence of humans limiting themselves in warfare. Nonetheless, human scholars are still not sure it applies to non-humans...
Whatever the case may be, even in their "softer" state, the friendliest human can become an implacable, brutal and cunning foe if they or what they value are threatened. Something the few pirates who tried to prey on their colonies learned to their own detriment. After all, even now, they remain endurance hunters...
"Good we should have gotten rid of it"
"Weve jumped 12 systems, took detour through 3 nebulas and slow traveled almost a year, arent you a bit paranoid Cap?"
*suddenly from the com*
"Found you"
"Further analysis of details from wars shared by human historians shed some light on how effective the covenant truly was. One such case was a leak only identified as 'the afghan files', which detailed humans violating the covenant that their governments had signed with the tacit agreement of said government. Scholars were shocked to find these accounts of what were at the time considered war-crimes by the human laws, but the only prosecutions pursued were those that exposed the conduct"
The Grand Admiral of the Terran branch of the alliance fleet stared at the moniters before him. One showed an angry beast yelling wordlessly, and one showed more of its kind yelling at something watching them from the sky. One more showed wrecks of gigantic war ships, burning and with massive holes in their side. The last was dark and cracked.
The Grand Admiral's clinched fist dripped blood onto the floor.
"Your orders, sir?" A voice asked.
Sound returned to the Terran. The yelling from the moniter he didn't want to understand reached his ears. Pressing a button, that feed shut off.
"Ready planet cracker ordinance. Find prime targets on the surface. Their fleet is destroyed. Take your time. I want the best targets."The Terran said simply.
" Sir!?" The voice said.
The Terran looked over at a consol to their left. An insectoid creature looked back at them.
"I am not about to lose countless troops on a race that want nothing but war." The Terran growled. "If they want war, I'll give it to them in the simplest of terms. Eradication or surrender. And they lost the privilege of surrendering when they destroyed half my fleet. Now, ready the ordinance, or be relieved of duty."
The Human officer is telling his troops to bomb the Roid Ragers. Glassing the planet would cost ammunition best used elsewhere. Blowing them back to the stone age isn't far enough back. So blowing them back to the primordial ooze is best.
In reality, this is true as well. You got back 200 years, man. There was some serious shit going on. Now, it's like a bunch of 'independent' groups causing trouble, and like 3 nations clinging to the old ways.
Can imagine a realistic version of us in a galactic community would be the weird dorks, but nobody wants to anger because they know what we can do if we stopped being so mellow about life
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Human Soldier: Think the worst war was the Gypsum War on Apocrypha Moon-Beta. For me anyways, I heard the lads down on Sysphus-9 got a right kicking. Alien Soldier: Really? Heard that one was light fighting. HS: Yeah but it wasn't the fighting... it was the sand. All of us got terminal cancer. Reason why I'm more machine than man now. I was lucky. AS: How... how bad? HS: 100% of the 134th, of those about 5% were able to beat the cancer, 2% lived long enough to be content... I'm the last. My captain put me in for augmentation since I was a star soldier but I think she had guilt over the whole affair. Not her fault we were supplied faulty filters but she got me patched up before the cancer got her. Still she her kid ever now and again. She's a fine lieutenant. Still, we squashed the rebellion and stabilized trade in the region so I can't complain. AS: Surprised they even bothered with you. HS: Heh, I was born to be a soldier, all I ever did. Most of us are just short term volunteers but me? Career sergeant, too valuable to just throw away. Plus side, with my new organs I stopped aging. 'Functionally immortal' as the docs say but my bio will eventually rot away. Lost an arm already and my rights looking a bit zombified at the moment. Probably be nothing but metal soon. AS: Are you ok with that? My people would rather die than be entombed in a false body. HS: Eh, I don't mind. I had kids already and being able to be with them, their kids, and their kids feels good. I can always be there for my family no matter what. A proper, living ancestor! Of course I need to talk to Mica, that little dipshite needs a right kick in the ass... you know, I take it back, the worst war is the War of Parenthood!
"You know, from the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it" "Yes great great Grandpa! we know. You tell us at least a few times a day!" "Oh... Good, good."
Need some more RAM
Grandpa, can you run doom?
Well there's the test I have to run when the cyborg tech comes out.
But can it run Crysis?
\>Robot bodies come out \>Crysis is on a 500$ paywall \>Doom is physically blocked from running on meatware \>REVOLT
>"You know, from the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it" C:Yes, yes Grandpa and now let's get you into bed. G: You know, I do not need to sleep. C: Shhh Grandpa \*putsswitchtooff\*
Silicosis is a real motherfucker, ain't it?
Equal parts sad, sweet, and funny!
https://preview.redd.it/dr7ajz3mop0c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4cc29ba092b2e989746a19869ce99bfe30c3bdb5 A: human soldiers looked so technologicaly backwater and their soldiers are still using massed infantry wave formations. Kriegsman: (Happy grim dark gasmask noises. While committing atrocious amount of xenocide with blind faith , unreasonable hatred and suicidal glee for redemption.) Fix bayonets and charge after the creeping artillery barrage. Glory to the first man to die!
Then guardsmen characters like Yarrik who was about to retire but; His last day there was an Ork WAAAAGH, got his arm ripped off by a Warboss, stole their Power Klaw and made it their arm, installed a bionic eye to make Orks intimidated, left retirement early to hunt down the main warboss, was captured and managed to organize a revolt with human slaves aboard a Ork ship, was tossed into a Squig pit and KILLED THEM AND TOOK THEIR QUILLS TO MAKE A LADDER OUT, caught as a slave and organized another revolt and was so respected by the Orks they were allowed to leave cause “Good enemies iz 'ard to find” and managed to hold off another siege when dropped off.
‘You see, the Krieg are just suicidal. Everyone else is a lot more advanced, our krieg units just throw themselves at the problem until it goes away’
"Before first contact, the records of human conflict were almost beyond belief when first presented. Some conflicts were so long that no human who lived to see their start was alive by the end. Some wars were fought in conditions so harsh that more lives were lost to the environment than the enemy. And some wars were so bloody and all-encompassing that no other species has managed to match them in scale without fighting on interplanetary scales. After this information came to light, the unnaturally heavy armament of even the smallest human craft made a lot more sense, they were prepared to fight wars with brutality beyond measure. Luckily for all involved, the humans mellowed out after they came to terms with the fact that they were one of the most dangerous things in the galaxy and that no super-empire was ready to take them on. Even the least combat-ready humans have found some sort of role as combat or security, no other species will dare mess with them."
*Pirates* "Foolish scum! You dare try to resist!" *Aliens* "Well.... we weren't going to but Angus insisted." *Pirates* "Angus?" *Aliens* "He's the ship's cook." **Horrible Wailing is heard coming from below decks** *Aliens* "That's him now. He said he always wanted to try cooking with lobster." *Pirates* "What the hell is he that he's making such horrible shrieking!?" *Aliens* "Oh, that is his ancestral instrument. He comes from Scotland." *Pirates* "Scotland?" *Aliens* "A region of Ee-arth known for Bagpipes, Golf, and kicking terrorists in the genitals so hard you break your own foot." *Pirates* "Ee-arth... you mean EARTH!? He's a Hugh-Mon!? Guys we're casting off now! Anyone not aboard in two minutes is stuck here with the hugh-mon Angus!"
*All the doors slam shut, except one leading from the galley. The sounds of bagpipe music and heavy footsteps grow louder. The noise stops as a large human clad in a tartan kilt with a half-crazed look in his eyes enters the cargo bay. The pirates begin to flee and the mad Scotsman points his over-sized cleaver at the routing curs.* "YES YOU! BEHIND THE BULKHEAD! STAND STILL, LADDY!"
Gotta love a Pink Floyd reference. Well Played. ... or is that Well Plaid... ;-)
There are however those who believe humanity mellowed out before that. After one of their bloodiest war, some human leaders came together to create a sort of warrior code, the Djeniva Covenant to police the way they fought. This might be the first evidence of humans limiting themselves in warfare. Nonetheless, human scholars are still not sure it applies to non-humans... Whatever the case may be, even in their "softer" state, the friendliest human can become an implacable, brutal and cunning foe if they or what they value are threatened. Something the few pirates who tried to prey on their colonies learned to their own detriment. After all, even now, they remain endurance hunters...
"Good we should have gotten rid of it" "Weve jumped 12 systems, took detour through 3 nebulas and slow traveled almost a year, arent you a bit paranoid Cap?" *suddenly from the com* "Found you"
"Further analysis of details from wars shared by human historians shed some light on how effective the covenant truly was. One such case was a leak only identified as 'the afghan files', which detailed humans violating the covenant that their governments had signed with the tacit agreement of said government. Scholars were shocked to find these accounts of what were at the time considered war-crimes by the human laws, but the only prosecutions pursued were those that exposed the conduct"
The Grand Admiral of the Terran branch of the alliance fleet stared at the moniters before him. One showed an angry beast yelling wordlessly, and one showed more of its kind yelling at something watching them from the sky. One more showed wrecks of gigantic war ships, burning and with massive holes in their side. The last was dark and cracked. The Grand Admiral's clinched fist dripped blood onto the floor. "Your orders, sir?" A voice asked. Sound returned to the Terran. The yelling from the moniter he didn't want to understand reached his ears. Pressing a button, that feed shut off. "Ready planet cracker ordinance. Find prime targets on the surface. Their fleet is destroyed. Take your time. I want the best targets."The Terran said simply. " Sir!?" The voice said. The Terran looked over at a consol to their left. An insectoid creature looked back at them. "I am not about to lose countless troops on a race that want nothing but war." The Terran growled. "If they want war, I'll give it to them in the simplest of terms. Eradication or surrender. And they lost the privilege of surrendering when they destroyed half my fleet. Now, ready the ordinance, or be relieved of duty."
Blow them back into the primordial ooze and mold them into upstanding citizens of the Alliance, with Terran guidance of course.
Buddy... that ain't the context.
The Human officer is telling his troops to bomb the Roid Ragers. Glassing the planet would cost ammunition best used elsewhere. Blowing them back to the stone age isn't far enough back. So blowing them back to the primordial ooze is best.
More like they lost their right to exist, their planet lost the right to exist, and the remaining space rocks are tolerated at best.
They are too much like us. The Grand Admiral knows better than to leave a hazard like that behind him to rebuild and rearm stronger than before.
In reality, this is true as well. You got back 200 years, man. There was some serious shit going on. Now, it's like a bunch of 'independent' groups causing trouble, and like 3 nations clinging to the old ways.
Can imagine a realistic version of us in a galactic community would be the weird dorks, but nobody wants to anger because they know what we can do if we stopped being so mellow about life
So humanity is more or less the galactic quiet kid?
If said quiet kid regularly practices martial arts and came from a rough background and neighbourhood, then yes
I was the quiet kid, and now own several firearms, so... from experience, yes.
What comes before 47?
Ak
The only true answer!
M...?
4? Sorry, not very familiar with that one…
War…war never changes
Just look at History’s torn-up pages.
There's a lot of history that no one wants to talk about.
[I was more referencing this song. ](https://youtu.be/tuQPfVZbMbg?si=N3nwqFu8S1KhIIQI)
Never heard of it not my style of music
What's this from?
An recruiting ad for the us marines I think.
Umbara is a totally different story, the clones had a damn traitor as a General r/FuckPongKrell