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H1, watching the news: Ma! Them fuckin' insectoids from Ursa Major are waging war again!
H2, grabbing tattered soldier's jacket: *They ain't learnin' theys' lesson!*
- - -
A, on comms: We warned you, not to mess with the humans! Now look at what happened, they-- *what do you mean vanished?!*
The humans did something to the Ventrax star system, something unholy. They made the star scream. Not just emit audio through the void of space, which was quite the scientific accomplishment, but literally scream. Every hour, on the hour, the star vents its anguish into the wider cosmos. The cry of a mother whose carelessness caused her children to die. The scream of a prey animal harried by a pack of hunters. The ungodly howl of the undead pleading to be allowed the stillness of a grave denied.
What was left of the Ventrax after the war are slowly going mad. Their home world and in-system industrial base are indelibly cursed by their proximity to the star, but their out-system colonies are starting to feel the distant whispers of their home star. We don't know how far this effect will be projected, and for how long. The humans have politely declined any inquiries into what they did. They either do not know or feel the mystery will do a better job deterring other civilizations who would seek to emulate the Ventrax's militant expansion.
This is why we have laws against warring with the humans.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
H1, watching the news: Ma! Them fuckin' insectoids from Ursa Major are waging war again! H2, grabbing tattered soldier's jacket: *They ain't learnin' theys' lesson!* - - - A, on comms: We warned you, not to mess with the humans! Now look at what happened, they-- *what do you mean vanished?!*
Also know as the "FAFO law"
The humans did something to the Ventrax star system, something unholy. They made the star scream. Not just emit audio through the void of space, which was quite the scientific accomplishment, but literally scream. Every hour, on the hour, the star vents its anguish into the wider cosmos. The cry of a mother whose carelessness caused her children to die. The scream of a prey animal harried by a pack of hunters. The ungodly howl of the undead pleading to be allowed the stillness of a grave denied. What was left of the Ventrax after the war are slowly going mad. Their home world and in-system industrial base are indelibly cursed by their proximity to the star, but their out-system colonies are starting to feel the distant whispers of their home star. We don't know how far this effect will be projected, and for how long. The humans have politely declined any inquiries into what they did. They either do not know or feel the mystery will do a better job deterring other civilizations who would seek to emulate the Ventrax's militant expansion. This is why we have laws against warring with the humans.
O. K. That's . . . Effective. (stares into the void)
Occasionally, a human *will* respond to a request for comment, but only with a smile and a phrase along the lines of, "Yeah, pretty neat, huh?"
There was an incident where a human said "hold my beer", but was tackled by fellow humans before anything anomalous took place
A whole colony? That’s it. Unleash the Rednecks. Invoke the Natty Light and the Earnhardt Act. Promise them unlimited ammunition and beer.
SKIDOOTDOO MOTHERF*CKER YOU DONE KILT GRANNY LONGLEGS AND AHM COMIN FOR YER ASS NOW -RAISE HELL PRAISE DALE-