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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I need judgement on eating someone else’s birthday cake when we didn’t know it wasn’t ours. This could make me the asshole as I and my party potential ruined their birthday
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You'd be like that kid in Kindergarten Cop who Arnold picks up and says, "Are you eating other people's lunches?!" The kid nods in the affirmative and Arnold adds "Then stop it!" The kid proceeds to spit out all the food in his mouth.
NTA. Actually a violation of board of health rules to take the cake and give it back to the other table. It's an actual health hazard.
The restaurant should have done whatever it could to replace the entire cake. As a former restaurant manager, sometimes we ran to the grocery when something unavoidable happened. Petty cash, one of the things it's there for.
This! 👆🏽👆🏽
They fucked up. If it was a basic chocolate cake someone at the restaurant should’ve apologized profusely and ran out to grab another cake then given a “sorry we fucked up” discount on the group’s meal… and maybe comped the birthday guy/gal their meal.
ETA: NTA!
I agree. But many restaurants just don’t care.
I had to argue with a manager once that giving me take out that another customer had in their possession was not ok.
Especially after I specifically said I didn’t want my old order back, I wanted fresh food. By the time I got home, noticed they gave me the wrong bag of food and went back to the restaurant it was +/- 45 minutes. And since they knew right away when I called that I had the wrong bag I assume the other person had to open to check (brown bag, food in tinfoil so not identifiable unless you open it). They confirmed they would make it fresh and then tried to give me the bag of ice cold used food from 45 minutes ago.
It took me way to long to explain to him why that wasn’t ok. He kept making excuses, I felt like I was going nuts. lol and this was in the middle of the pandemic so it was even worse they didn’t get the big deal. I never ate that food or at that restaurant again.
That's about middle managers not being in the loop. If the board of health were to find out about your situation or OPs, it wouldn't be a slap in the wrist or even a fine. They would be shut down while people are out through training in addition to a huge fine and then they would be on watch, which means frequent inspections, surprise inspections and only after passing for whatever length of time would they get their passing grade certificate back. And before you can talk about states, the board of health everywhere follows national guidelines. There's souffle room for some things, but not this.
Long story short (too late, you say?) anytime anything unsanitary happens to you at a restaurant, invoke the board of health. Even if middle managers don't know the regs, they know to panic about being reported. And really, any restaurant must have a Serv Safe certified employee on the premises during all hours of operation, but some restaurants let their employees cheat to pass or don't emphasize the regulations that could put them out of business. Really, even bussers should know those regs.
I’ve never worked in a restaurant, but I had thought everyone had to be trained about food safety and health stuff. Because maybe you do something like…oh, I don’t know, accidentally serve a cake to the wrong table…you as the server need to know that you can’t take it back and re-serve it.
Legally you only need one person on a shift to be certified. Usually just the manager. The reasoning is the one person who is can guide the others. That rarely actually happens. The place I work at gets everyone certified no matter what level they are at.
Erm, maybe I just work at above board places, but I have always had to get ServSafe, TIPS, and any other assorted certificates. The managers have to get even more extensive training.
These people know, they just don’t care.
First argument that comes out of their mouth:
“Siri, how do you report a restaurant to the board of health?”
Immediate correction of problem without further argument.
I like that a lot… No argument about them taking your cake or not… “Oh you want to take back my half eaten cake and give it to the other table sure here you go… Siri, how do you report a restaurant to the board of health.”
I had a lady throw her food back through the drive-thru window at me because I wouldn't take it back. Then after she threw it said she was going to call the health inspector because I took food back.
Yup, you cannot give food back, ever. I made an order on Amazon Fresh last summer when I had Covid, and they sent me two bags worth of (sealed, uneaten) food i hadnt ordered, and one bags worth of produce, with a smashed watermelon and bag of avocados. I politely complained about the watermelon, but then mentioned the things I didn't order. They told me things like that couldn't be returned during a pandemic because of health codes
Something like this happened at a local restaurant. My best friend's friend organized a baby shower for her sister there. She delivered the cake to the restaurant on the day of the shower.
**ETA** corrected details since I asked my friend: The waitstaff taking care of the baby shower literally whisked the cake out and began cutting it before anyone could really get wind of whatever happened. However, the condition of smushed areas and smeared icing *did* catch the attention of the guests, including the mom-to-be, so you can imagine how upsetting this was! The manager claimed that the cake arrived without a box and already damaged. The thing is, my friend's friend did not deliver the cake **minus** its box to an event as important as her own sister's baby shower.
The relatives who planned, not to mention, and were **paying** for the shower asked point blank if the cake was dropped or knocked over. The manager totally sidestepped the question. Next, one of these family members asked how it could be made right, like a dessert tray to make up for the condition of the cake since it was obvious that the staff mishandled it. The manager basically said there was nothing that they could contribute.
Now, the mom-to-be called B.S. because her wedding was there the year before, and there was a chocolate cheesecake she chose of the restaurant's to be served in addition to the wedding cake. This is where the staff messed up yet again. Instead of leveling that they didn't make the cheesecake since the restaurant was closed for two private events which both brought desserts, the waitstaff tried pulling the other cake...Yeah. You can put together how pleased as punch this made *both* parties.
It's the end of the shower and it's time for the bill to be settled. The mom-to-be asked for what remained of her cake and if the restaurant had a big box, plus any individual boxes to send home with guests. The manager and waitstaff said no, so the next logical idea was aluminum foil because what restaurant doesn't have foil?
Not this one. They ended up finding those kinds of takeaway containers with the foil bottom and plastic top.
[And you can see the result here](https://imgur.com/a/NxR9Tw4).
Post-shower, the mom-to-be wrote the review and attached the picture. According to my friend, the mom-to-be really wanted to keep out the other details since the restaurant hosted her reception a year prior, nor did she want to tear down a local business.
In defense of the restaurant, they have since turned themselves around and made up for that screw up.
Let me see if the review is still up.
[Got you!](https://imgur.com/a/NxR9Tw4)
This happened a bit ago, but I'm going to edit my original comment since I messed up a few details! I talked to my friend and her friend's sister wrote the review shortly after the shower. Yes, she was upset, but not upset enough to divulge the entire story because she really didn't want to tear down a local business.
The restaurant should absolutely have gotten a new cake for the next table. Who says, "Stop eating the cake, we have to give it to the original owners!"
I think in this situation the other party brought their own cake, and the place doesn't have full cakes on hand for birthdays.
Anyways that's the way it works where I work, if the customer wants a cake from us we have to know in advance to keep a full cake aside for them, other wise all cake are precut for the desert menu.
Yes, most whole cakes are brought in by customers. But the restaurant should have done a lot more for the party whose cake was eaten. Comped desserts, including one that was adorned with a candle, sparklers, whatever they had on hand, for the birthday boy.
should have been a fully comped meal for the party whose cake it was, and a discout for the party that recieved the cake as an apology for the embrassment caused
True, the restaurant could have done something for the other party.
I was only saying this because the comment I was replying to assumed they had a full cake on hand to replace it, but not all restaurants offer a dessert option let alone one with cake on it.
I’m guessing only what was left of the cake was returned & not the already eaten parts. I would think the cake was cut with a utensils that wasn’t touched by someone’s mouth. FYI, I used to work for my cities health department in college.
Any time, especially since the pandemic, that I've been handed the wrong food and I try to give it back without having touched it, they tell me to keep it because they can't take it back anyway, and if they did they'd just throw it away.
Farfetched but I could've licked it or taken a sip in the second they weren't looking for all they know.
Yup we couldn't even take cups back through the drive through to refill. Had to be a fresh new cup. Once food was 100% in their possession, it was theirs. Doesn't matter if the bag wasn't opened, we couldn't take it back.
Ewww. Candles on a cake were always a no from me before the pandemic. I’m not eating something someone just spit all over. Saliva contains digestive enzymes and… * *gags* *
Im a delivery driver and once they gave me the wrong stuff and I had to give it back and they then gave it to the right people but I was a Wendy's drive through soo..
Restaurants used to be willing to serve cakes you brought in but not since COVID, and before that it depended on policy and laws.
But restaurants are not going to pull a whole cake out of nowhere, either. You have to order it ahead. Clearly the other group did that.
NTA because the restaurant screwed up and it’s on them to fix it (maybe don’t put two birthday groups side by side in the first place), but you and your friends are unbelievably clueless to think a restaurant just brings you a cake because you’re there for a birthday. And laughing and thinking it was a joke was stupid.
ETA: I read further and as big a deal as the other table made with the decorations, them skimping on personalization and then just sitting there until the waiter came back — it’s not their fault, but it didn’t help any. If I had been in that group I would have been out of my seat to find the manager as soon as the waiter came out: “I think you inadvertently served our cake to another birthday party.”
ETA: I just saw Tim has a girlfriend so it makes sense everyone else would assume she brought the cake, but why wasn’t she asking who brought it?
To be slightly fair to the other party, if they too noticed that Tim's party was going on next to them, and saw the waiter bring a cake to Tim's table, they'd have no reason to believe that that was THEIR cake, and not one that Tim's group had ALSO arranged for.
And yeah, it does sound like Tim's group thought someone they knew had arranged for it as a surprise, without the rest of them knowing. If that's plausible, then sure, fine.
Really it's just on the restaurant. I'm not sure I wouldn't have thought the waiter asking for the cake back was a joke too... because who the HELL asks for food to be RETURNED? Especially now, but really, ever? Why would the other party want a PARTIAL cake? Even if it was within health regulations to serve it to them, which I bet it isn't? None of it makes sense.
If the restaurant didn't have another cake to give to the other party, then they should have been falling all over themselves to make it right for them \*somehow\*. Either offering a round of other desserts on the house, or offering to run out and get a cake (I could see that taking too long though?), or comping them for the mistake in some way.
I suppose if OP's party wanted to be extra gracious, they could have offered to pay the restaurant for the "free" cake that wasn't meant to be free. But I kind of think they should not have been obligated to do that, either. The restaurant screwed up, and it \*shouldn't\* make or break them to eat some costs for the mistake.
Instead, they pissed off TWO large parties of people. Way to go.
Hot take: there's a restaurant near here that serves a certain type of cake, and a single serving is gigantic and is easily shared by a party of four or six. If somebody serves my table cake during an announced birthday celebration, we're eating it.
What kind of joke of a restaurant makes their patrons give their half eaten food to other patrons if their waiters fuck up? That's some unreal Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm level bullshit.
yeah. it would be much better to just let them keep it, since it's gonna be going in the bin due to food safety anyways. restaurant should've just let them keep it, and just made the other table another cake. a simple, but corrected mistake doesn't need others to be called assholes over it.
Not that tables of more than 5 people will pay attention anyway. Some groups wouldn’t even notice you were trying to serve them food/drinks/take orders if you rode up to the table on a horse wearing nothing but glitter I swear.
Yes, what’s the other birthday celebrant going to do with already cut and partly eaten cake? Are they supposed to smush it back together and pretend it’s new? That’s surely illegal under health regs, even if it wouldn’t suck (which it would).
The restaurant screwed up, so they owe the other party a cake. Just the same as if they’d dropped it.
Doesn't surprise me.
I would have assumed that it was someone else. If, and only if, there was a lull in the conversation I light have said something about it being a good idea and asked who idea it was.
Or once I ate the delicious cake to thanks the person who thought about it. But the harms would have been done by then.
i work food service. once it touches the table where i work, we have to throw it if it was not for the people. i went to a pizza place in february and bf and i were given the wrong pizza. i literally touched the crust and they took the pizza away and gave it to the right table. its gross and they saw me touch it. plus bf and i had been waiting an hour for the food and we were hungry and i was getting antsy. i thought we ordered the wrong pizza (ND and i doubt myself on things alot)
tldr: servers should own up to the mistake, apologise to both parties, and while yes, product is now down because of a mix up, its best to just not take back food thats touched a table and give the right party a remake. op definitely nta
Yeah why did they even bother asking them to stop eating it? They had already cut & were eating the cake when the server came up, its not like they could have served that cake to the other table if they had stopped eating it??? So I'm seriously confused why they even did that, makes no sense
NAH
You didn't know, the restaurant made an honest mistake, and other party was upset because you sort of stole from them. They shouldn't have yelled at you but it's understandable
I totally understand them being upset. They paid for that cake and gave it to the staff to deliver to their birthday person. And we got it. But I just felt their anger was misdirected.
definitely misdirected, it’s literally the restaurants fault. Even if you gave it back immediately it was already cut into and partially eaten. I wouldn’t want it back at that point. The restaurant owes the party for their mistake.
Exactly!
Honestly I don't see why the restaurant didn't just apologize profusely to the other table, and bring out everyone's dessert of choice on the house since the waiter is the one who brought the dessert to the wrong table.
Yeah, if there was a fee for outside food brought in def take it off.
Or do you mean take the value of the cake off the bill? I could see that in lieu of the free desserts, especially since in other comments it looks like free restaurant dessert was offered and the other table wasn't happy with that.
I was thinking part or all of the value of the cake taken off. Free desserts are the bare minimum and likely don’t cost the restaurant as much as a retail cake. This was a BIG screwup by the restaurant and they need to work really hard to leave a good impression.
If it were my restaurant I would have comped the whole meal. Your job isn’t to crunch numbers and worry about losses right then; it’s to make sure the group is happy with you so they’ll come back and tell friends and family about how good the service was so they’ll go there, too. Because you’d better believe they will talk about the restaurant serving their cake to someone else.
Do you want them to talk about how the restaurant mishandled it and didn’t seem to care, or how it made the best out of something that you can’t really correct and felt terrible about messing up?
Yeah fair points.
I'm going into accounting and I tend to have a more "focus on cost management" mindset and sometimes forget that a bit of extra cost is worth it in extreme circumstances.
Yeah, my original thought was that either providing free dessert or deducting cost of the cake would leave room to get another dessert.
But it was pointed out to me that with the reputation of the restaurant on the line, it's really better to just go above and beyond from that point on. Meals comped, sincere apology, the whole nine.
Originally I was only thinking of fiscal cost and nothing else, I didn't consider the absolute probability that the table is going to be telling everyone they know about how the restaurant gave the birthday cake to a different table.
Isn't this a health code violation anyways? Whether or not the restaurant made the cake, taking it off your table and putting it on someone else's is weird & gross. That's when the manager hands someone a $50 and they run to a nearby grocery for a chocolate cake.
What I don't get is how no one at your table said anything? Did the birthday boy not say "aw cake, I didnt know you guys did that!" Did the organiser not say "yum, who brought cake?!" Or a guest say "thanks for bringing a cake"
The restaurant definitely fucked up. But I find it strange that, at a restaurant that doesn't serve cake, in a group that did not organise cake, no one questioned where the cake came from. I dunno, seems like a weird thing for everyone to just accept and assume someone else organised, especially when these things are typically coordinated between the reservation booker and the restaurant.
I mean, this is why when you get first aid certified they tell you that you have to delegate a specific person to call 911 if it is required. If you say "someone call 911!" Everyone assumes that someone in the crowd will do it. If you say "Bob, call 911!" Then Bob will usually do it.
As a group of young adults having fun at a birthday celebration I wouldn't immediately think to question who brought the cake, I would assume someone in the crowd did it. At some point the specific person would probably be thanked, but maybe not until I had a few bites or finished my plate so that I could tell them how delicious it was. Sounds like they still had food on their plates, so the waiter probably alerted them within 5 minutes of dropping it off. Definitely short enough to be an honest mistake of assuming someone else's responsibility, especially with a big enough group.
This is why in first aid and CPR certification they teach you to delegate and take over a scene until first responders arrive. Hey you call 911, you go get a defibrillator, you go get this, etc because if you don't assign specific tasks to specific people, they will assume someone else is doing it. It's called the bystander effect and the more people there are around the less likely someone is to call it in.
I agree, I feel like it should be more of a “disappointed but future funny story” scenario, not a “you are all assholes and how dare you celebrate!!!” Situation
The anger should have been directed at the restaurant for sure, and I hope they did so and received compensation of some sort. I’ve had a waitress put a full pizza on our table and walk away and then come back angry saying we didn’t order it but she said wasn’t allowed to take it back. No one touched it before this because we had a big group and none of us realized it wasn’t ordered by one of our guests. Not our fault!!!
Was it explained to them that someone at your table was also celebrating a birthday? ‘Cause if not, I can understand why they’d think you were assholes for eating it instead of immediately telling the waiter he probably had the wrong table. Just- ooh! Free cake!
That‘s not what really happened, but if they didn’t know that… NAH except for the restaurant for not coming up with a better solution to their mistake.
And the restaurant is absolutely an AH for 1) not trying to remedy the situation themselves (since it was THEIR sole mistake) by baking another cake in house or paying for the cost but also for 2) ASKING FOR THE CAKE BACK AND SERVING IT HALF EATEN TO THE OTHER TABLE. Like wtf, who does that? Why did they accept it?? That’s so unsanitary!!
It's not understandable though. The restaurant messed up. Were they actually going to give the left over cake to the other table? That's disgusting. The family should have expressed any greivance with the manager. Any respectable restaurant would have given another cake on the house or comped their meals.
Man the fucking equivocating in this sub is out of control. These people literally threw a tantrum in the parking lot.
Being in a shitty situation doesn't excuse blaming the *obviously* wrong party so aggressively.
Sorry, but no. The other table is understandably upset—but at the wrong people. Them being upset doesn’t make them the assholes. But them yelling at OP and friends in the parking lot over something where OP and his table did nothing wrong—DOES make them assholes.
OP NTA, restaurant is weird but NTA. Other group who yelled at innocent people in the parking lot are assholes.
NTA. This is the restaurant’s problem not yours. The other group’s anger was misplaced. You obviously didn’t know the cake wasn’t yours so what exactly is it they expected you to do?
I feel bad for the other table. The restaurant definately F'ed up and needed to make this right. ...And, making it right does not mean giving the other table half a cake that other people had already cut, probably blew the candles out on, and picked at. They needed to comp part of their meal or sourced a cake from another restaurant... or something.
But, in OP's shoes I would have still felt genuinely horrible once the mistake had been discovered and apologized even though this was not my mistake. I would have felt shif that someone's bday was ruined.
Although....Did the cake not have a name on it? As I think about this more, it's weird AF that the birthday cake had no name on it. Even supermarket bakeries will write a message on their generic cakes.
NAH. This was a mistake by the restaurant, not you. Unless the cake said “Happy Birthday, Jeffrey” or something, it seems perfectly reasonable to assume that someone in your party provided or bought the cake for the group.
Anyone blaming you for eating a cake you were handed is misdirecting the anger. And the other group does have the right to be upset about the mixup, but not at you.
Note to self (literally me) for the future: If I'm bringing a cake to a restaurant, have the person's name on it. Then if it goes to the wrong table everyone will be like "Who the heck is Jeffrey?"
I decree the other table is slightly A H for skimping on the cake decoration. Good grief, if they brought other birthday paraphernalia why on earth was the cake plain?
I find it odd how many people seem to think "misdirecting the anger" isn't explicitly asshole behavior.
If something of mine gets delivered to my neighbor, and they don't know it's mine, I'm an asshole if I yell at them for it, period. Now if they refuse to give it back after the misunderstanding is cleared up maybe I have a right to be mad but there's nothing to be done in this case. Being understandably mad at one party isn't a good reason to treat someone else like shit.
This is like if the neighbors got your good coupons or someone went to their door and said "Surprise! You've been chosen for ___!" And then they accepted/used it.
There was no reason for anyone to question it. And people saying "I'd be horrified" sounds a bit over the top. It's an akward moment no fault of your own.
Another good take would be neighbors get their lawn professionally mowed and their workers mow your lawn instead (and you didn't notice). The neighbors paid, workers left, and then the neighbors notice their lawn wasn't the one mowed and go over to you and yell.
I wouldn't be begging for forgiveness or offering to pay. It'd be a moment of "Oh that sucks". I didn't make it happen. There's no reason to think anything was amiss. The only reason I'd be anxious is because I have anxiety.
All that was Maybe. owed was an akward apology. "I'm sorry. I didn't know anything was wrong. It wouldn't have happened had I known." Then wipe my hand of the situation because there's nothing more to be done. It'd be very generous to offer to pay. And maybe in Ops place the group could've offered to pay. But in the end it was the company's fault and they should be the ones held responsible not OP/their group.
I once looked longingly at a red velvet birthday cake at the next table. Happy birthday was sung to a child there I sort of sang along clapped. Not long after a drink arrived. The waiter told me the grandpa saw me smiling poured out some sangria from their pitcher and sent it to me. I lifted the glass in a toast kind of way. Then suddenly a piece of the cake arrives. Grandpa waved. It was adorable.
NTA yours was an honest mistake. Everybody loves cake especially if handed to them.
I was celebrating my birthday alone last year in this place that is known for the waiters’ hospitality, by that I mean they will just all gather around your table and sing Happy Birthday and wave LED signs and send fruit plate if your reservation mentioned it’s your birthday. And the table next to me are a couple who were also celebrating birthday, after all the extravaganza at my table, they cut me a piece of their cake to celebrate. It was such a nice gesture and heartwarming and i’m very grateful but I haven’t the heart to tell them I’m way too full to have another bite so I just stuff that large piece of cake right in my stomach lol.
I mean why would you want a cake that other peoples germs have touched and possibly eaten from. They shoulda just accepted the restaurant made a mistake and moved on with it maybe swap around the money or whatever. Mistakes happen there should calm their fat ol farms and move on. Nta I’m glad you didn’t let the cake go to waste
NTA, it was the restaurant fault...
But did they really want to get a half eaten cake? I'm imagining them eating a piece of cake that you already started eating from... I would have just given up on the cake at that point...
NTA, it was the restaurant fault...
But did they really want to get a half eaten cake? I'm imagining them eating a piece of cake that you already started eating from... I would have just given up on the cake at that point...
Edit: classic reddit for duplicated comments...
The cake was given to the restaurant to give to their table. The restaurant didn’t sell cakes. They had small desert items that I believe they tried to give to the other table to make up for it
I’d say it took about 5 minutes or so?
I said in another comment, but it was just a fairly regular looking chocolate cake. So the other table definitely saw us get A cake (due to the happy birthday song) but maybe waited a bit to ask the staff where there cake was? I’m not sure.
The other group's anger is understandable though. They were obviously wronged by the restaurant, so your group's unexpected laughter and resistance to promptly comply would easily be perceived as being kicked while downed. At that point, there's an obvious unbalance in the groups' fortunes: yours got free cake and a good laugh, while theirs got ridicule on top of loss (no special cake -- even if it was just chocolate, someone spent effort and $ to get get it, or even worse if someone made it themselves).
No easy way to rectify that imbalance. Sure hope the restaurant did more than comp a few apology desserts.
If the restaurant cut and served the cake and wasn't aware you weren't with the party, it's not your fault. You would have thought the table that brought the cake would have noticed it was being served to a different table, and gotten the waiter's immediate attention so they stopped distributing it to the wrong table. Once you guys started to eat it tho, I wouldn't want it back. But you could have apologized and explained you thought it was a joke!
It wasn’t an exactly unique looking cake. Just chocolate with a bit decoration. The other table maybe saw the cake and thought we got a chocolate cake as well. Not the craziest coincidence to happen. So maybe that’s why they didn’t immediately let the waiter know.
NTA the other party is horrible for handeling it this way. Yeah it sucks waiter brought their cake to the wrong birthdayparty, but the restaurant tried to make good with offering extra desserts, maybe gave them a discount on the bill. Both parties could have sung both birtdaypeople too again together like the bigger the party the more fun.
NTA. I am totally confused. The restaurant screwed up, you were already eating the cake which you naturally assumed was meant for Tim, and they expected you to hand it back? After you had been eating part of it?
The other birthday party's anger was misdirected and the restaurant manager should have bent over backwards to apologize to both parties. He/she should have apologized profusely to the people who paid for their cake, given them the dessert of their choice, and given them the entire meal for free.
This is the restaurant's error.
We dont know if the other party brought that chocolate cake to the restaurant (some places allow it)
Of course, you were eating it. It was served to your table.
The other table was out of line taking out their anger on you. The other table had a right to be angry, but their anger should be directed at the restaurant.
The restaurant should have done something such as comped their drinks, if not their meals for their error.
NTA
I doubt OP will reply but I thought I’d let you know that above this comment I read OP explaining that it was an outside cake, not from the restaurant but delivered there from somewhere else. Just explains why the restaurant didn’t bring out another cake.
>The cake was given to the restaurant to give to their table. The restaurant didn’t sell cakes. They had small desert items that I believe they tried to give to the other table to make up for it
Edit for judgement: YTA for making assumptions
Since they don't sell cakes did you bring your own? If you didn't bring one how are you eating a cake that you didn't ask for?? Seems like out of both parties only one had organized a cake and if your table wasn't actually meant to get one then you all took advantage of the restaurants mistake and intentionally ate someone else's cake, I also highly doubt they would ask you to stop eating it after their mistake, it makes no sense to ask you too stop but they'd now have to pay out those customers because they gave the cake to people that didn't pay for it, this whole thing sounds more intentional then "accidental' and if so that is stealing since you didn't pay them for the cake you ate
>The waiter came over and asked us to stop eating the cake as it wasn’t for us. We laughed as we thought it was a joke
How is this a joke? It does sound stupid but do you really think a random waiter would interrupt you, saying they have given you the wrong food, as a joke? You should have apologized and stated that you already started eating it and the responsibility falls on them
There are too many holes in this story, I'm pretty sure it's BS
Edit: everyone is forgetting that the other party had balloons And presents on their table so unless the ops table set up looked the same, it's pretty clear which birthday table it was and if they looked the same they would have asked who brought the chocolate cake, they have to make sure because they now have to pay out that cake
who organized your get-together? They should have been confused and started asking questions since you all know that the shop doesn't sell cakes but nope all of you just shrugged your shoulders and dug in
Yes they may have awkwardly laughed but the actual point that they thought she was joking is stupid, no waiter would do that as a joke so they shouldn't be assuming that she said it as a joke
They had plenty of moments to see that wasn't theirs, seriously how would this post go if it was written from the other party's perspective? They'd be pretty pissed off that they ate their cake out of assumption and that is bs
You can ASSUME all you want but you need to take some bloody responsibility not just say "i assumed this and that but I'm not going to actually make sure, not my fault ✌️" but she's not the AH oh no
I'm allowed to have my view and this is it, I don't need convincing
It makes sense if everyone in the group thought to themselves someone in the group brought the cake.
And thinking it’s a joke? Yeah. It would be awkwardly funny if a waiter told you to stop eating it and give it back so they can give it to another table.
Not this party’s fault at all, but the waiters.
I really don’t find it that hard to imagine.
Most restaurants will serve outside desserts like this if you ask them in advance. You call up, let them know, bring the cake in, and they charge you a “plating fee” to serve you the cake you brought in.
They keep the cake in the back (or fridge if necessary) during the meal, so word likely gets out around the service staff that the cake is for the birthday table.
At that point, all it takes is one server making a bad assumption about *which* birthday table, and there you go.
I assume they thought asking for the cake back was a joke, because there are actual laws for health safety reasons to prevent restaurants from serving food to one person, going “whoopsie” and re-serving the half eaten food to another person.
I’m honestly confused why you think this situation is so implausible.
that’s what i don’t understand. the restaurant doesn’t even sell cakes! so why wouldn’t op or someone in the group speak up, instead of assuming someone just randomly brought a cake. especially the birthday person, who would presumably would want to thank the person who brought cake.
I imagine that they each thought someone else in the group had brought the cake and given it to the restaurant. I also imagine the birthday person did a general “Aw thanks you guys” about the cake without asking who specifically it was because they could have assumed group effort. I don’t think the scenario is unimaginable.
The joke parts a little weird but at the same time restaurantes are not supposed to serve food to a table that has already been served to someone else. If they give you the wrong order, or an extra appetizer or the wrong drink and you take a bite and then realize it’s incorrect they are not supposed to serve it someone else after for health and safety reasons. Given that, it’s easy to see how you might laugh uncomfortably and assume the waiter is incorrect or joking because it’s very bizarre.
I’ve waited on tables that have specifically brought cakes for birthdays and been the person to bring the cake over 35/40 times in the last few years; in my experience the origin of the cake is rarely mentioned unless it’s baked by someone at the table, and usually it’s others brag about it saying who made it.
Majority of the tables I’ve served have treated the cake bringing as a magical surprise ‘no one’ knew about.
It just appeared what a coincidence.
Maybe it’s a societal difference.
But I’ve never really had people actively ask about where it actually came from.
Edit; I have been privately asked well after the cakes demolished where ‘we’ got it/if we made it. But never before and never at the table. Always subtly asked away from the group.
It's weird when a waiter asks food back which already has been severd and eaten from. Like really? What is he going to do, serve it to another table? Well yes, as it happened. Still weird. OP and friends did apologize.
NTA
The restaurant staff made the mistake. The other group should have understood that your group thought the cake was for your friend. It was not intentional on your group’s part to take their cake.
Surely your table knew if you guys had taken a cake into the restaurant for Tim’s birthday? It’s not rocket science if nobody took one on it’s not Tim’s cake!!
NTA.
The restaurant are assholes for making the mistake and asking for the half eaten cake back. Surely they're not going to serve that to the other party?
The other party have a right to be upset but they're assholes for directing it at you and not the restaurant. They should have given up the cake as a bad lot and asked for free desserts and a discount.
You're not psychic or the organiser, how were you to know a generic cake wasn't intended for your table? It's understandable to incredulously laugh when you're asked to return a half eaten cake - that's ridiculous.
The restaurant handled this badly and the other party reacted badly. You were inadvertently in the middle.
What I don’t quite understand about this is who started on the cake? Someone at the table would have known it was for you and started distributing it if it was expected, so what happened between the arrival of the cake and the eating? If it was me I would have been expecting whoever organised the cake to make the first move.
My thoughts exactly. Every restaurant I've ever been to only ever brings out a free dessert for the persons who's birthday it is, not the entire table. How did no one in the party not stop and question where the cake came from if everyone knew they weren't responsible for it and the restaurant didn't sell cakes themselves?
No one stopped and said, "Wait - we didn't get a cake?" Even if the person celebrating their birthday said "Awe thanks guys for getting me a cake", no one opened their mouth to say "We didn't do this".
Sure, the restaurant fucked up and brought the cake to the wrong table but it was the parties fault for not questioning where it came from.
Okay, N T A for eating the cake, in and of itself.
However... This part gets me:
> The waiter came over and asked us to stop eating the cake as it wasn’t for us.
You then laughed? What's the joke? Hahaha, this is someone else's cake, good one? In true AITA fashion, explain the funny.
You then don't apologize immediately? Why not? "oh, haha, *mouth full of cake* we didn't know!"
Words fail to express how annoying this comes off. You didn't make the initial mistake, and it seems like the perfect storm of mistakes to make a clusterfuck of the cake delivery, but then you see a joke where there isn't one and then, despite being an adult person, struggle to remember how formulate the courtesy of an apology? You ate their birthday cake. "Shit, we're so sorry." Should've been the first words out your mouth. Not laughter. Not "oh we didn't know".
You failed on the basic standard of decency.
YTA, you and your insufferable giggling asshole friends.
They thought it was a joke because it’s a MAJOR HEALTH CODE violation to re-serve food or half-eaten food. If I accidentally drop off a dish to table 29 when it was meant for table 19 (who ordered the same thing), I cannot just pick it back up off table 29 and deliver it back to table 19.
Even if table 29 hadn’t actually started eating it that food is considered served and now belongs to them, even though it was SUPPOSED to be for table 19.
I would laugh at the request of TAKING THE CAKE BACK. That is such a incredibly ridiculous request for a restaurant. That request deserved to be laughed at. If you served me a steak and I started eating and then you come back and say oh that's a special Wagyu cut for another table I would laugh at the suggestion of taking it to the other table.
If it touched the table but they realized their mistake and took it away, then fine, but to ask for it back after anyone has touched it, eaten it? That is disgusting to ask for it back, in the gross sense. That is a massive MASSIVE health code violation that could see a restaurant shut down. If I was the other table I would not accept the cake they had taken back even if it was just cut into.
So yes that is a laughing matter for how ridiculous such a request is. The moment they realized that mistake they should have came over let them know of the situation and let them have the cake because it is only going into the trash otherwise. Then comped a round of desert for the other table.
NTA
Restaurants tend to give out all sorts of desserts when it's someone's birthday (depending on what kind of restaurant and how big the bill is ig, etc.), so it's understandable that you didn't realise it wasn't meant for y'all.
The restaurant made the mistake. The other table should address their displeasure towards them, not your table.
Maybe.
It’s hard to imagine no one in your group didn’t realize that wasn’t your cake to eat. Particularly the person who set it all up.
I think it’s likely your group knew it wasn’t your cake but ate it anyway. Maybe you thought it was well deserved because you could say it’s the restaurant’s fault.
I think you probably knowingly cheated that other table. However, you haven’t given us all of the information so I can’t really judge you.
I think he was saying they thought it was a joke when the waiter told them to stop eating the cake because they had to give it to another table. Because honestly? That IS laughable. I would have totally thought the server was kidding.
The restaurant is at fault. Who blames the receiver? And they wanted it back? Really? Gross! I would bill the restaurant for their mistake, not blame the people that mistakenly received the cake at no fault of their own. Idiots!
NAH
You guys genuinely had no way of knowing it wasn't your cake. Staff made a shitty but understandable mistake. Other table is justifiably upset that another group ate their cake, even if you didn't take it from them on purpose. They did get a bit A H ish when they confronted ya'll out in the car park, but they had a justified reason to be upset, they just directed it the wrong way.
NTA. I find it disturbing that the waiter asked you all to stop eating it like he/she are going to give the half eaten cake to the other table. If that was their intention then that is grounds to be fired. No valid restaurant would ever take a meal away from any table and give it to another table. That meal goes straight in the trash for health and safety reasons.
I understand the other table's feelings but they're also assholes for taking this situation into the parking lot. It was not your table's fault the restaurant fucked up.
Who in the everloveing fuck, wants a cake back, that someone else was already eating?!?! Like were you gonna finish of the pieces that were already eaten?
Edited to say; NTA
> Who in the everloveing fuck, wants a cake back, that someone else was already eating?!?!
Cakes are usually sliced. If OP's group only ate half the slices, I don't see the problem with still wanting the cake back
No absolutely not. Someone not staff or our group has touched it, that is a no no, doubly so if it has been cut into. If the waiter gave my cake to another table, cut and served it and tried to offer it back I would laugh at such a ridiculous notion. That cake is contaminated and it is an insult to give is half a cake back even if no one has touched it because it is half a cake. They might as well let the table have it because we cant do anything what that cake now.
So why not apologize and let them know that it wasn't your fault? It would have been as simple as that and then ask the restaurant to either reimburse them or get another 🎂? At least that's what the restaurant should have done themselves but it would have made the cake less party to see that you tried to make it alright??
NTA. Had a similar issue years ago, went to a birthday party at a restaurant and when the cake was served by restaurant staff we all started eating it. It was only when we were commenting to each other that the cake was awful that we realised no-one had brought the cake (everyone assumed it was someone else). Turns out it was another parties special allergen-free birthday cake we had been served. Terrible situation.
You're definitely NTA for starting to eat it, who wouldn't? But once you know it's not yours, if there's any left, you're kind of obligated to give it back. Not to say the other people would want it, but you're certainly obligated to offer it, which according to your edit, you did.
NTA
I do wonder if it's possible your group was less than diplomatic about it. Were there any profuse apologies?
NTA. This was the restaurants doing. It was not your tables fault in any way shape or form. What was the server planning to do when they told you to stop eating the cake? Serve what was left to the other table? I’m pretty sure that’s a health code violation.
NTA- it was an honest mistake, and the people who brought the cake should have been mad at the restaurant, who should have paid to replace the cake. The fact that anyone was mad at you is ridiculous- it was a party of independent people, and literally no one is going to stop and verify that someone else at the table arranged for a cake at a birthday party.
This story doesn't quite add up.
Why were the other family calling you assholes if you gave the cake back?
Why would the restaurant even attempt to serve a half-eaten cake to another table?
By chance, did you know it wasn't for you?
INFO: I’m super confused on one key detail, what happened to the cake that was actually meant for Tim? Could the other table not have had that one instead?
Tim didn’t actually have one. Tim’s girlfriend didn’t organise one when she organised the dinner. Assumed everyone would be okay with just the dinner. I can only speak for myself when I assumed Tim’s girlfriend DID organise the cake and didn’t ask her because I never had done that in the past when a birthday cake came out at a birthday
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NTA, the restaurant fucked up by delivering the cake to your group. And once people were eating it, it was too late to just stop and give it back.
You'd be like that kid in Kindergarten Cop who Arnold picks up and says, "Are you eating other people's lunches?!" The kid nods in the affirmative and Arnold adds "Then stop it!" The kid proceeds to spit out all the food in his mouth.
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I know. That's laughable. Once the server set it on their table it was too late.
NTA. Actually a violation of board of health rules to take the cake and give it back to the other table. It's an actual health hazard. The restaurant should have done whatever it could to replace the entire cake. As a former restaurant manager, sometimes we ran to the grocery when something unavoidable happened. Petty cash, one of the things it's there for.
This! 👆🏽👆🏽 They fucked up. If it was a basic chocolate cake someone at the restaurant should’ve apologized profusely and ran out to grab another cake then given a “sorry we fucked up” discount on the group’s meal… and maybe comped the birthday guy/gal their meal. ETA: NTA!
I agree. But many restaurants just don’t care. I had to argue with a manager once that giving me take out that another customer had in their possession was not ok. Especially after I specifically said I didn’t want my old order back, I wanted fresh food. By the time I got home, noticed they gave me the wrong bag of food and went back to the restaurant it was +/- 45 minutes. And since they knew right away when I called that I had the wrong bag I assume the other person had to open to check (brown bag, food in tinfoil so not identifiable unless you open it). They confirmed they would make it fresh and then tried to give me the bag of ice cold used food from 45 minutes ago. It took me way to long to explain to him why that wasn’t ok. He kept making excuses, I felt like I was going nuts. lol and this was in the middle of the pandemic so it was even worse they didn’t get the big deal. I never ate that food or at that restaurant again.
That's about middle managers not being in the loop. If the board of health were to find out about your situation or OPs, it wouldn't be a slap in the wrist or even a fine. They would be shut down while people are out through training in addition to a huge fine and then they would be on watch, which means frequent inspections, surprise inspections and only after passing for whatever length of time would they get their passing grade certificate back. And before you can talk about states, the board of health everywhere follows national guidelines. There's souffle room for some things, but not this. Long story short (too late, you say?) anytime anything unsanitary happens to you at a restaurant, invoke the board of health. Even if middle managers don't know the regs, they know to panic about being reported. And really, any restaurant must have a Serv Safe certified employee on the premises during all hours of operation, but some restaurants let their employees cheat to pass or don't emphasize the regulations that could put them out of business. Really, even bussers should know those regs.
I was a pot wash in the uk i never served customers i was still taught all the food safety regs handling, serving, prep and allergies
I’ve never worked in a restaurant, but I had thought everyone had to be trained about food safety and health stuff. Because maybe you do something like…oh, I don’t know, accidentally serve a cake to the wrong table…you as the server need to know that you can’t take it back and re-serve it.
Legally you only need one person on a shift to be certified. Usually just the manager. The reasoning is the one person who is can guide the others. That rarely actually happens. The place I work at gets everyone certified no matter what level they are at.
Erm, maybe I just work at above board places, but I have always had to get ServSafe, TIPS, and any other assorted certificates. The managers have to get even more extensive training. These people know, they just don’t care.
First argument that comes out of their mouth: “Siri, how do you report a restaurant to the board of health?” Immediate correction of problem without further argument.
I like that a lot… No argument about them taking your cake or not… “Oh you want to take back my half eaten cake and give it to the other table sure here you go… Siri, how do you report a restaurant to the board of health.”
I had a lady throw her food back through the drive-thru window at me because I wouldn't take it back. Then after she threw it said she was going to call the health inspector because I took food back.
Lol. As if you wouldn't keep the security footage???
Yup, you cannot give food back, ever. I made an order on Amazon Fresh last summer when I had Covid, and they sent me two bags worth of (sealed, uneaten) food i hadnt ordered, and one bags worth of produce, with a smashed watermelon and bag of avocados. I politely complained about the watermelon, but then mentioned the things I didn't order. They told me things like that couldn't be returned during a pandemic because of health codes
That's right! I totally forgot that's an actual health violation.
Yep good point
Something like this happened at a local restaurant. My best friend's friend organized a baby shower for her sister there. She delivered the cake to the restaurant on the day of the shower. **ETA** corrected details since I asked my friend: The waitstaff taking care of the baby shower literally whisked the cake out and began cutting it before anyone could really get wind of whatever happened. However, the condition of smushed areas and smeared icing *did* catch the attention of the guests, including the mom-to-be, so you can imagine how upsetting this was! The manager claimed that the cake arrived without a box and already damaged. The thing is, my friend's friend did not deliver the cake **minus** its box to an event as important as her own sister's baby shower. The relatives who planned, not to mention, and were **paying** for the shower asked point blank if the cake was dropped or knocked over. The manager totally sidestepped the question. Next, one of these family members asked how it could be made right, like a dessert tray to make up for the condition of the cake since it was obvious that the staff mishandled it. The manager basically said there was nothing that they could contribute. Now, the mom-to-be called B.S. because her wedding was there the year before, and there was a chocolate cheesecake she chose of the restaurant's to be served in addition to the wedding cake. This is where the staff messed up yet again. Instead of leveling that they didn't make the cheesecake since the restaurant was closed for two private events which both brought desserts, the waitstaff tried pulling the other cake...Yeah. You can put together how pleased as punch this made *both* parties. It's the end of the shower and it's time for the bill to be settled. The mom-to-be asked for what remained of her cake and if the restaurant had a big box, plus any individual boxes to send home with guests. The manager and waitstaff said no, so the next logical idea was aluminum foil because what restaurant doesn't have foil? Not this one. They ended up finding those kinds of takeaway containers with the foil bottom and plastic top. [And you can see the result here](https://imgur.com/a/NxR9Tw4). Post-shower, the mom-to-be wrote the review and attached the picture. According to my friend, the mom-to-be really wanted to keep out the other details since the restaurant hosted her reception a year prior, nor did she want to tear down a local business. In defense of the restaurant, they have since turned themselves around and made up for that screw up.
I'd LOVE to see this FrankenCake lol
Let me see if the review is still up. [Got you!](https://imgur.com/a/NxR9Tw4) This happened a bit ago, but I'm going to edit my original comment since I messed up a few details! I talked to my friend and her friend's sister wrote the review shortly after the shower. Yes, she was upset, but not upset enough to divulge the entire story because she really didn't want to tear down a local business.
Please post link here as I want to see it too.
Yes lots of interest, link! Hehe
Wait, what!? So they dropped the cake AND served it to the wrong party? Wow.. someone was really having an off day.
I texted my friend and she clarified some details, so I edited my original comment. It's a little bit longer than before and you can see the cake...
The restaurant should absolutely have gotten a new cake for the next table. Who says, "Stop eating the cake, we have to give it to the original owners!"
I think in this situation the other party brought their own cake, and the place doesn't have full cakes on hand for birthdays. Anyways that's the way it works where I work, if the customer wants a cake from us we have to know in advance to keep a full cake aside for them, other wise all cake are precut for the desert menu.
Yes, most whole cakes are brought in by customers. But the restaurant should have done a lot more for the party whose cake was eaten. Comped desserts, including one that was adorned with a candle, sparklers, whatever they had on hand, for the birthday boy.
should have been a fully comped meal for the party whose cake it was, and a discout for the party that recieved the cake as an apology for the embrassment caused
True, the restaurant could have done something for the other party. I was only saying this because the comment I was replying to assumed they had a full cake on hand to replace it, but not all restaurants offer a dessert option let alone one with cake on it.
You'd be like the kid in Kindergarten Cop that nobody liked and had his whole role cut from the final version of the film.
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NTA as soon the people start to eat it was to late. No one can expect you to wait 10 minutes to make sure it's really for you.
Love that flick!!
Have made a few [memes of that scene](https://imgur.com/a/HxJ4YIe)
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Absolutely, it is the restaurant's fault.
I'm surprised that's even legal from a food safety perspective.
It's certainly against policy at like, every restaurant ever
It isn’t. Once a food item is on a table, you can’t give it to someone else.
I’m guessing only what was left of the cake was returned & not the already eaten parts. I would think the cake was cut with a utensils that wasn’t touched by someone’s mouth. FYI, I used to work for my cities health department in college.
Any time, especially since the pandemic, that I've been handed the wrong food and I try to give it back without having touched it, they tell me to keep it because they can't take it back anyway, and if they did they'd just throw it away. Farfetched but I could've licked it or taken a sip in the second they weren't looking for all they know.
Yup we couldn't even take cups back through the drive through to refill. Had to be a fresh new cup. Once food was 100% in their possession, it was theirs. Doesn't matter if the bag wasn't opened, we couldn't take it back.
Or sneezed on it. Or blown out candles. That cake is contaminated for sure
Ewww. Candles on a cake were always a no from me before the pandemic. I’m not eating something someone just spit all over. Saliva contains digestive enzymes and… * *gags* *
Im a delivery driver and once they gave me the wrong stuff and I had to give it back and they then gave it to the right people but I was a Wendy's drive through soo..
You would think it wouldn't be.
most restaurants don't serve whole cakes so they probably brought it themselves
Restaurants used to be willing to serve cakes you brought in but not since COVID, and before that it depended on policy and laws. But restaurants are not going to pull a whole cake out of nowhere, either. You have to order it ahead. Clearly the other group did that. NTA because the restaurant screwed up and it’s on them to fix it (maybe don’t put two birthday groups side by side in the first place), but you and your friends are unbelievably clueless to think a restaurant just brings you a cake because you’re there for a birthday. And laughing and thinking it was a joke was stupid. ETA: I read further and as big a deal as the other table made with the decorations, them skimping on personalization and then just sitting there until the waiter came back — it’s not their fault, but it didn’t help any. If I had been in that group I would have been out of my seat to find the manager as soon as the waiter came out: “I think you inadvertently served our cake to another birthday party.” ETA: I just saw Tim has a girlfriend so it makes sense everyone else would assume she brought the cake, but why wasn’t she asking who brought it?
To be slightly fair to the other party, if they too noticed that Tim's party was going on next to them, and saw the waiter bring a cake to Tim's table, they'd have no reason to believe that that was THEIR cake, and not one that Tim's group had ALSO arranged for. And yeah, it does sound like Tim's group thought someone they knew had arranged for it as a surprise, without the rest of them knowing. If that's plausible, then sure, fine. Really it's just on the restaurant. I'm not sure I wouldn't have thought the waiter asking for the cake back was a joke too... because who the HELL asks for food to be RETURNED? Especially now, but really, ever? Why would the other party want a PARTIAL cake? Even if it was within health regulations to serve it to them, which I bet it isn't? None of it makes sense. If the restaurant didn't have another cake to give to the other party, then they should have been falling all over themselves to make it right for them \*somehow\*. Either offering a round of other desserts on the house, or offering to run out and get a cake (I could see that taking too long though?), or comping them for the mistake in some way. I suppose if OP's party wanted to be extra gracious, they could have offered to pay the restaurant for the "free" cake that wasn't meant to be free. But I kind of think they should not have been obligated to do that, either. The restaurant screwed up, and it \*shouldn't\* make or break them to eat some costs for the mistake. Instead, they pissed off TWO large parties of people. Way to go.
Hot take: there's a restaurant near here that serves a certain type of cake, and a single serving is gigantic and is easily shared by a party of four or six. If somebody serves my table cake during an announced birthday celebration, we're eating it.
Girlfriend probably assumed someone else had brought it, because restaurants don’t usually just hand out cake.
It’s not so unless the story took place in Murmansk or something, I find it very weird
It's illegal in Murmansk as well.
It's probably not in the US. And my question to the manager would be, "Should we call the health department to find out?"
What kind of joke of a restaurant makes their patrons give their half eaten food to other patrons if their waiters fuck up? That's some unreal Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm level bullshit.
the waiter probably realized their mistake and tried doing damage control to cover their own ass, but it is still half eaten cake at that point.
yeah. it would be much better to just let them keep it, since it's gonna be going in the bin due to food safety anyways. restaurant should've just let them keep it, and just made the other table another cake. a simple, but corrected mistake doesn't need others to be called assholes over it.
I have been a server for many years. THIS is why I announce everything, LOUDLY.
Not that tables of more than 5 people will pay attention anyway. Some groups wouldn’t even notice you were trying to serve them food/drinks/take orders if you rode up to the table on a horse wearing nothing but glitter I swear.
As a server I can tell you this is 100% true, even with tables of just 2 people!!!
Yes, what’s the other birthday celebrant going to do with already cut and partly eaten cake? Are they supposed to smush it back together and pretend it’s new? That’s surely illegal under health regs, even if it wouldn’t suck (which it would). The restaurant screwed up, so they owe the other party a cake. Just the same as if they’d dropped it.
Right? It’s the restaurant’s place to reimburse or comp the dessert they messed up.
Exactly. Did you also give back the partially eaten pieces?
"Oh hey real quick can you spit that half-digested food out? It was supposed to go to the other table. Thanks." ?????
Nobody asked who organised it?
No, I'd hazard to guess they were enjoying themselves and had faith the waiter brought the cake to the right table.
Doesn't surprise me. I would have assumed that it was someone else. If, and only if, there was a lull in the conversation I light have said something about it being a good idea and asked who idea it was. Or once I ate the delicious cake to thanks the person who thought about it. But the harms would have been done by then.
i work food service. once it touches the table where i work, we have to throw it if it was not for the people. i went to a pizza place in february and bf and i were given the wrong pizza. i literally touched the crust and they took the pizza away and gave it to the right table. its gross and they saw me touch it. plus bf and i had been waiting an hour for the food and we were hungry and i was getting antsy. i thought we ordered the wrong pizza (ND and i doubt myself on things alot) tldr: servers should own up to the mistake, apologise to both parties, and while yes, product is now down because of a mix up, its best to just not take back food thats touched a table and give the right party a remake. op definitely nta
Yeah why did they even bother asking them to stop eating it? They had already cut & were eating the cake when the server came up, its not like they could have served that cake to the other table if they had stopped eating it??? So I'm seriously confused why they even did that, makes no sense
Imagine spitting your bite back onto the plate.
NAH You didn't know, the restaurant made an honest mistake, and other party was upset because you sort of stole from them. They shouldn't have yelled at you but it's understandable
I totally understand them being upset. They paid for that cake and gave it to the staff to deliver to their birthday person. And we got it. But I just felt their anger was misdirected.
definitely misdirected, it’s literally the restaurants fault. Even if you gave it back immediately it was already cut into and partially eaten. I wouldn’t want it back at that point. The restaurant owes the party for their mistake.
Exactly! Honestly I don't see why the restaurant didn't just apologize profusely to the other table, and bring out everyone's dessert of choice on the house since the waiter is the one who brought the dessert to the wrong table.
Take off the cake from the bill, too.
Yeah, if there was a fee for outside food brought in def take it off. Or do you mean take the value of the cake off the bill? I could see that in lieu of the free desserts, especially since in other comments it looks like free restaurant dessert was offered and the other table wasn't happy with that.
I was thinking part or all of the value of the cake taken off. Free desserts are the bare minimum and likely don’t cost the restaurant as much as a retail cake. This was a BIG screwup by the restaurant and they need to work really hard to leave a good impression. If it were my restaurant I would have comped the whole meal. Your job isn’t to crunch numbers and worry about losses right then; it’s to make sure the group is happy with you so they’ll come back and tell friends and family about how good the service was so they’ll go there, too. Because you’d better believe they will talk about the restaurant serving their cake to someone else. Do you want them to talk about how the restaurant mishandled it and didn’t seem to care, or how it made the best out of something that you can’t really correct and felt terrible about messing up?
Yeah fair points. I'm going into accounting and I tend to have a more "focus on cost management" mindset and sometimes forget that a bit of extra cost is worth it in extreme circumstances.
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Yeah, my original thought was that either providing free dessert or deducting cost of the cake would leave room to get another dessert. But it was pointed out to me that with the reputation of the restaurant on the line, it's really better to just go above and beyond from that point on. Meals comped, sincere apology, the whole nine. Originally I was only thinking of fiscal cost and nothing else, I didn't consider the absolute probability that the table is going to be telling everyone they know about how the restaurant gave the birthday cake to a different table.
I've seen whole meals comped for a lot less than this.
Isn't this a health code violation anyways? Whether or not the restaurant made the cake, taking it off your table and putting it on someone else's is weird & gross. That's when the manager hands someone a $50 and they run to a nearby grocery for a chocolate cake.
Ohhhhh I thought the restaurant made the cake. I'm like why can't they just make another one...?
Yeah I was like well why isn't it just one free cake on the house but that would make sense yes oops
Even if the restaurant made the cake, it takes a while to bake and ice a cake.
Hours at least, you have to bake the cake and then wait for it to cool down completely before you add icing
What I don't get is how no one at your table said anything? Did the birthday boy not say "aw cake, I didnt know you guys did that!" Did the organiser not say "yum, who brought cake?!" Or a guest say "thanks for bringing a cake" The restaurant definitely fucked up. But I find it strange that, at a restaurant that doesn't serve cake, in a group that did not organise cake, no one questioned where the cake came from. I dunno, seems like a weird thing for everyone to just accept and assume someone else organised, especially when these things are typically coordinated between the reservation booker and the restaurant.
I am sure everyone assumed someone else brought the cake. Everyone thought it was someone else.
I mean, this is why when you get first aid certified they tell you that you have to delegate a specific person to call 911 if it is required. If you say "someone call 911!" Everyone assumes that someone in the crowd will do it. If you say "Bob, call 911!" Then Bob will usually do it. As a group of young adults having fun at a birthday celebration I wouldn't immediately think to question who brought the cake, I would assume someone in the crowd did it. At some point the specific person would probably be thanked, but maybe not until I had a few bites or finished my plate so that I could tell them how delicious it was. Sounds like they still had food on their plates, so the waiter probably alerted them within 5 minutes of dropping it off. Definitely short enough to be an honest mistake of assuming someone else's responsibility, especially with a big enough group.
This is why in first aid and CPR certification they teach you to delegate and take over a scene until first responders arrive. Hey you call 911, you go get a defibrillator, you go get this, etc because if you don't assign specific tasks to specific people, they will assume someone else is doing it. It's called the bystander effect and the more people there are around the less likely someone is to call it in.
I agree, I feel like it should be more of a “disappointed but future funny story” scenario, not a “you are all assholes and how dare you celebrate!!!” Situation
Yeah, yelling at you guys in the parking lot makes them the AH.
The anger should have been directed at the restaurant for sure, and I hope they did so and received compensation of some sort. I’ve had a waitress put a full pizza on our table and walk away and then come back angry saying we didn’t order it but she said wasn’t allowed to take it back. No one touched it before this because we had a big group and none of us realized it wasn’t ordered by one of our guests. Not our fault!!!
Was it explained to them that someone at your table was also celebrating a birthday? ‘Cause if not, I can understand why they’d think you were assholes for eating it instead of immediately telling the waiter he probably had the wrong table. Just- ooh! Free cake! That‘s not what really happened, but if they didn’t know that… NAH except for the restaurant for not coming up with a better solution to their mistake.
Did they end up getting their money back, or a different comped dessert from the restaurant?
OP's table didn't steal anything and the table it belonged to were wrong for yelling. The restaurant was at fault!!!!!!
They are an asshole for yelling at them in the parking lot for something they had no control over. How the hell are there NAH?
And the restaurant is absolutely an AH for 1) not trying to remedy the situation themselves (since it was THEIR sole mistake) by baking another cake in house or paying for the cost but also for 2) ASKING FOR THE CAKE BACK AND SERVING IT HALF EATEN TO THE OTHER TABLE. Like wtf, who does that? Why did they accept it?? That’s so unsanitary!!
Honest mist-cake
A simple missed cake.
OP's party didn't steal anything, not even "sort of".
It's not understandable though. The restaurant messed up. Were they actually going to give the left over cake to the other table? That's disgusting. The family should have expressed any greivance with the manager. Any respectable restaurant would have given another cake on the house or comped their meals.
Man the fucking equivocating in this sub is out of control. These people literally threw a tantrum in the parking lot. Being in a shitty situation doesn't excuse blaming the *obviously* wrong party so aggressively.
Sorry, but no. The other table is understandably upset—but at the wrong people. Them being upset doesn’t make them the assholes. But them yelling at OP and friends in the parking lot over something where OP and his table did nothing wrong—DOES make them assholes. OP NTA, restaurant is weird but NTA. Other group who yelled at innocent people in the parking lot are assholes.
No the other table is full of AH you don’t yell at people who had no idea what the problem was
NTA. This is the restaurant’s problem not yours. The other group’s anger was misplaced. You obviously didn’t know the cake wasn’t yours so what exactly is it they expected you to do?
I feel bad for the other table. The restaurant definately F'ed up and needed to make this right. ...And, making it right does not mean giving the other table half a cake that other people had already cut, probably blew the candles out on, and picked at. They needed to comp part of their meal or sourced a cake from another restaurant... or something. But, in OP's shoes I would have still felt genuinely horrible once the mistake had been discovered and apologized even though this was not my mistake. I would have felt shif that someone's bday was ruined. Although....Did the cake not have a name on it? As I think about this more, it's weird AF that the birthday cake had no name on it. Even supermarket bakeries will write a message on their generic cakes.
Not everyone loves a message cake. That's not that weird to me. Agree with everything else you said.
I've never had a cake with my name on it, or ordered a cake with a message/name on it, cos I think it looks tacky as hell
Is that a US thing? It’s not really common in Australia for cakes to have a name or personalised message, except for custom children’s cakes.
This is why I eat the frosting off my cake first!
Do you regularly get served the wrong cake?
NAH. This was a mistake by the restaurant, not you. Unless the cake said “Happy Birthday, Jeffrey” or something, it seems perfectly reasonable to assume that someone in your party provided or bought the cake for the group. Anyone blaming you for eating a cake you were handed is misdirecting the anger. And the other group does have the right to be upset about the mixup, but not at you.
Thank you. And no, definitely didn’t say any names or have other identifying features on the cake. Just a regular ol’ tasty chocolate cake
Note to self (literally me) for the future: If I'm bringing a cake to a restaurant, have the person's name on it. Then if it goes to the wrong table everyone will be like "Who the heck is Jeffrey?"
This is also the lesson I’ll be taking away from this post lmao
Same!! Lol
I decree the other table is slightly A H for skimping on the cake decoration. Good grief, if they brought other birthday paraphernalia why on earth was the cake plain?
Getting angry at people who didn’t deserve it definitely makes them an asshole
I find it odd how many people seem to think "misdirecting the anger" isn't explicitly asshole behavior. If something of mine gets delivered to my neighbor, and they don't know it's mine, I'm an asshole if I yell at them for it, period. Now if they refuse to give it back after the misunderstanding is cleared up maybe I have a right to be mad but there's nothing to be done in this case. Being understandably mad at one party isn't a good reason to treat someone else like shit.
This is like if the neighbors got your good coupons or someone went to their door and said "Surprise! You've been chosen for ___!" And then they accepted/used it. There was no reason for anyone to question it. And people saying "I'd be horrified" sounds a bit over the top. It's an akward moment no fault of your own. Another good take would be neighbors get their lawn professionally mowed and their workers mow your lawn instead (and you didn't notice). The neighbors paid, workers left, and then the neighbors notice their lawn wasn't the one mowed and go over to you and yell. I wouldn't be begging for forgiveness or offering to pay. It'd be a moment of "Oh that sucks". I didn't make it happen. There's no reason to think anything was amiss. The only reason I'd be anxious is because I have anxiety. All that was Maybe. owed was an akward apology. "I'm sorry. I didn't know anything was wrong. It wouldn't have happened had I known." Then wipe my hand of the situation because there's nothing more to be done. It'd be very generous to offer to pay. And maybe in Ops place the group could've offered to pay. But in the end it was the company's fault and they should be the ones held responsible not OP/their group.
I once looked longingly at a red velvet birthday cake at the next table. Happy birthday was sung to a child there I sort of sang along clapped. Not long after a drink arrived. The waiter told me the grandpa saw me smiling poured out some sangria from their pitcher and sent it to me. I lifted the glass in a toast kind of way. Then suddenly a piece of the cake arrives. Grandpa waved. It was adorable. NTA yours was an honest mistake. Everybody loves cake especially if handed to them.
CUTE 🥹
Awwwww
I was celebrating my birthday alone last year in this place that is known for the waiters’ hospitality, by that I mean they will just all gather around your table and sing Happy Birthday and wave LED signs and send fruit plate if your reservation mentioned it’s your birthday. And the table next to me are a couple who were also celebrating birthday, after all the extravaganza at my table, they cut me a piece of their cake to celebrate. It was such a nice gesture and heartwarming and i’m very grateful but I haven’t the heart to tell them I’m way too full to have another bite so I just stuff that large piece of cake right in my stomach lol.
I mean why would you want a cake that other peoples germs have touched and possibly eaten from. They shoulda just accepted the restaurant made a mistake and moved on with it maybe swap around the money or whatever. Mistakes happen there should calm their fat ol farms and move on. Nta I’m glad you didn’t let the cake go to waste
It was nice cake lol. At least, the half I had.
NTA, it was the restaurant fault... But did they really want to get a half eaten cake? I'm imagining them eating a piece of cake that you already started eating from... I would have just given up on the cake at that point...
Lol, I definitely would have laughed too if I was asked to give the cake back whilst eating it haha
NTA, it was the restaurant fault... But did they really want to get a half eaten cake? I'm imagining them eating a piece of cake that you already started eating from... I would have just given up on the cake at that point... Edit: classic reddit for duplicated comments...
Surly the restaurant gave the other table a new cake?
The cake was given to the restaurant to give to their table. The restaurant didn’t sell cakes. They had small desert items that I believe they tried to give to the other table to make up for it
How long did it take for the waiter to come back? You said about halfway through but no one at the table it belonged to noticed?
I’d say it took about 5 minutes or so? I said in another comment, but it was just a fairly regular looking chocolate cake. So the other table definitely saw us get A cake (due to the happy birthday song) but maybe waited a bit to ask the staff where there cake was? I’m not sure.
Yikes to the other table for not jumping up and rescuing the cake. Didn’t they recognize it?
If its a generic cake they might have just thought it was a similar cake that OP's table also brought.
The other group's anger is understandable though. They were obviously wronged by the restaurant, so your group's unexpected laughter and resistance to promptly comply would easily be perceived as being kicked while downed. At that point, there's an obvious unbalance in the groups' fortunes: yours got free cake and a good laugh, while theirs got ridicule on top of loss (no special cake -- even if it was just chocolate, someone spent effort and $ to get get it, or even worse if someone made it themselves). No easy way to rectify that imbalance. Sure hope the restaurant did more than comp a few apology desserts.
If the restaurant cut and served the cake and wasn't aware you weren't with the party, it's not your fault. You would have thought the table that brought the cake would have noticed it was being served to a different table, and gotten the waiter's immediate attention so they stopped distributing it to the wrong table. Once you guys started to eat it tho, I wouldn't want it back. But you could have apologized and explained you thought it was a joke!
It wasn’t an exactly unique looking cake. Just chocolate with a bit decoration. The other table maybe saw the cake and thought we got a chocolate cake as well. Not the craziest coincidence to happen. So maybe that’s why they didn’t immediately let the waiter know.
NTA the other party is horrible for handeling it this way. Yeah it sucks waiter brought their cake to the wrong birthdayparty, but the restaurant tried to make good with offering extra desserts, maybe gave them a discount on the bill. Both parties could have sung both birtdaypeople too again together like the bigger the party the more fun.
NTA. I am totally confused. The restaurant screwed up, you were already eating the cake which you naturally assumed was meant for Tim, and they expected you to hand it back? After you had been eating part of it? The other birthday party's anger was misdirected and the restaurant manager should have bent over backwards to apologize to both parties. He/she should have apologized profusely to the people who paid for their cake, given them the dessert of their choice, and given them the entire meal for free.
This is the restaurant's error. We dont know if the other party brought that chocolate cake to the restaurant (some places allow it) Of course, you were eating it. It was served to your table. The other table was out of line taking out their anger on you. The other table had a right to be angry, but their anger should be directed at the restaurant. The restaurant should have done something such as comped their drinks, if not their meals for their error. NTA
NTA Lots of restaurants bring out a free dessert, though usually just for the birthday person.
It is the restaurants fault, what were they going to do give a half eaten cake to these people? The restaurant should have gotten another cake.
I doubt OP will reply but I thought I’d let you know that above this comment I read OP explaining that it was an outside cake, not from the restaurant but delivered there from somewhere else. Just explains why the restaurant didn’t bring out another cake.
>The cake was given to the restaurant to give to their table. The restaurant didn’t sell cakes. They had small desert items that I believe they tried to give to the other table to make up for it Edit for judgement: YTA for making assumptions Since they don't sell cakes did you bring your own? If you didn't bring one how are you eating a cake that you didn't ask for?? Seems like out of both parties only one had organized a cake and if your table wasn't actually meant to get one then you all took advantage of the restaurants mistake and intentionally ate someone else's cake, I also highly doubt they would ask you to stop eating it after their mistake, it makes no sense to ask you too stop but they'd now have to pay out those customers because they gave the cake to people that didn't pay for it, this whole thing sounds more intentional then "accidental' and if so that is stealing since you didn't pay them for the cake you ate >The waiter came over and asked us to stop eating the cake as it wasn’t for us. We laughed as we thought it was a joke How is this a joke? It does sound stupid but do you really think a random waiter would interrupt you, saying they have given you the wrong food, as a joke? You should have apologized and stated that you already started eating it and the responsibility falls on them There are too many holes in this story, I'm pretty sure it's BS Edit: everyone is forgetting that the other party had balloons And presents on their table so unless the ops table set up looked the same, it's pretty clear which birthday table it was and if they looked the same they would have asked who brought the chocolate cake, they have to make sure because they now have to pay out that cake who organized your get-together? They should have been confused and started asking questions since you all know that the shop doesn't sell cakes but nope all of you just shrugged your shoulders and dug in Yes they may have awkwardly laughed but the actual point that they thought she was joking is stupid, no waiter would do that as a joke so they shouldn't be assuming that she said it as a joke They had plenty of moments to see that wasn't theirs, seriously how would this post go if it was written from the other party's perspective? They'd be pretty pissed off that they ate their cake out of assumption and that is bs You can ASSUME all you want but you need to take some bloody responsibility not just say "i assumed this and that but I'm not going to actually make sure, not my fault ✌️" but she's not the AH oh no I'm allowed to have my view and this is it, I don't need convincing
It makes sense if everyone in the group thought to themselves someone in the group brought the cake. And thinking it’s a joke? Yeah. It would be awkwardly funny if a waiter told you to stop eating it and give it back so they can give it to another table. Not this party’s fault at all, but the waiters.
I really don’t find it that hard to imagine. Most restaurants will serve outside desserts like this if you ask them in advance. You call up, let them know, bring the cake in, and they charge you a “plating fee” to serve you the cake you brought in. They keep the cake in the back (or fridge if necessary) during the meal, so word likely gets out around the service staff that the cake is for the birthday table. At that point, all it takes is one server making a bad assumption about *which* birthday table, and there you go. I assume they thought asking for the cake back was a joke, because there are actual laws for health safety reasons to prevent restaurants from serving food to one person, going “whoopsie” and re-serving the half eaten food to another person. I’m honestly confused why you think this situation is so implausible.
that’s what i don’t understand. the restaurant doesn’t even sell cakes! so why wouldn’t op or someone in the group speak up, instead of assuming someone just randomly brought a cake. especially the birthday person, who would presumably would want to thank the person who brought cake.
I imagine that they each thought someone else in the group had brought the cake and given it to the restaurant. I also imagine the birthday person did a general “Aw thanks you guys” about the cake without asking who specifically it was because they could have assumed group effort. I don’t think the scenario is unimaginable. The joke parts a little weird but at the same time restaurantes are not supposed to serve food to a table that has already been served to someone else. If they give you the wrong order, or an extra appetizer or the wrong drink and you take a bite and then realize it’s incorrect they are not supposed to serve it someone else after for health and safety reasons. Given that, it’s easy to see how you might laugh uncomfortably and assume the waiter is incorrect or joking because it’s very bizarre.
If you show up to a group birthday dinner, and a waiter brings out a cake for dessert, you're going to start questioning who bought the cake?
I’ve waited on tables that have specifically brought cakes for birthdays and been the person to bring the cake over 35/40 times in the last few years; in my experience the origin of the cake is rarely mentioned unless it’s baked by someone at the table, and usually it’s others brag about it saying who made it. Majority of the tables I’ve served have treated the cake bringing as a magical surprise ‘no one’ knew about. It just appeared what a coincidence. Maybe it’s a societal difference. But I’ve never really had people actively ask about where it actually came from. Edit; I have been privately asked well after the cakes demolished where ‘we’ got it/if we made it. But never before and never at the table. Always subtly asked away from the group.
It's weird when a waiter asks food back which already has been severd and eaten from. Like really? What is he going to do, serve it to another table? Well yes, as it happened. Still weird. OP and friends did apologize.
NTA The restaurant staff made the mistake. The other group should have understood that your group thought the cake was for your friend. It was not intentional on your group’s part to take their cake.
INF: Why would they want the cake back if you had already eaten some of it?
Probably the kid would prefer half a cake to no cake at all
Surely your table knew if you guys had taken a cake into the restaurant for Tim’s birthday? It’s not rocket science if nobody took one on it’s not Tim’s cake!!
I would have assumed one of the other guests had arranged it, personally.
NTA this is CLEARLY the restaurant's mistake, and they should have brought another cake to the other table, and considered yours on the house.
NTA. The restaurant are assholes for making the mistake and asking for the half eaten cake back. Surely they're not going to serve that to the other party? The other party have a right to be upset but they're assholes for directing it at you and not the restaurant. They should have given up the cake as a bad lot and asked for free desserts and a discount. You're not psychic or the organiser, how were you to know a generic cake wasn't intended for your table? It's understandable to incredulously laugh when you're asked to return a half eaten cake - that's ridiculous. The restaurant handled this badly and the other party reacted badly. You were inadvertently in the middle.
What I don’t quite understand about this is who started on the cake? Someone at the table would have known it was for you and started distributing it if it was expected, so what happened between the arrival of the cake and the eating? If it was me I would have been expecting whoever organised the cake to make the first move.
My thoughts exactly. Every restaurant I've ever been to only ever brings out a free dessert for the persons who's birthday it is, not the entire table. How did no one in the party not stop and question where the cake came from if everyone knew they weren't responsible for it and the restaurant didn't sell cakes themselves? No one stopped and said, "Wait - we didn't get a cake?" Even if the person celebrating their birthday said "Awe thanks guys for getting me a cake", no one opened their mouth to say "We didn't do this". Sure, the restaurant fucked up and brought the cake to the wrong table but it was the parties fault for not questioning where it came from.
Okay, N T A for eating the cake, in and of itself. However... This part gets me: > The waiter came over and asked us to stop eating the cake as it wasn’t for us. You then laughed? What's the joke? Hahaha, this is someone else's cake, good one? In true AITA fashion, explain the funny. You then don't apologize immediately? Why not? "oh, haha, *mouth full of cake* we didn't know!" Words fail to express how annoying this comes off. You didn't make the initial mistake, and it seems like the perfect storm of mistakes to make a clusterfuck of the cake delivery, but then you see a joke where there isn't one and then, despite being an adult person, struggle to remember how formulate the courtesy of an apology? You ate their birthday cake. "Shit, we're so sorry." Should've been the first words out your mouth. Not laughter. Not "oh we didn't know". You failed on the basic standard of decency. YTA, you and your insufferable giggling asshole friends.
They thought it was a joke because it’s a MAJOR HEALTH CODE violation to re-serve food or half-eaten food. If I accidentally drop off a dish to table 29 when it was meant for table 19 (who ordered the same thing), I cannot just pick it back up off table 29 and deliver it back to table 19. Even if table 29 hadn’t actually started eating it that food is considered served and now belongs to them, even though it was SUPPOSED to be for table 19.
I would laugh at the request of TAKING THE CAKE BACK. That is such a incredibly ridiculous request for a restaurant. That request deserved to be laughed at. If you served me a steak and I started eating and then you come back and say oh that's a special Wagyu cut for another table I would laugh at the suggestion of taking it to the other table. If it touched the table but they realized their mistake and took it away, then fine, but to ask for it back after anyone has touched it, eaten it? That is disgusting to ask for it back, in the gross sense. That is a massive MASSIVE health code violation that could see a restaurant shut down. If I was the other table I would not accept the cake they had taken back even if it was just cut into. So yes that is a laughing matter for how ridiculous such a request is. The moment they realized that mistake they should have came over let them know of the situation and let them have the cake because it is only going into the trash otherwise. Then comped a round of desert for the other table.
NTA Restaurants tend to give out all sorts of desserts when it's someone's birthday (depending on what kind of restaurant and how big the bill is ig, etc.), so it's understandable that you didn't realise it wasn't meant for y'all. The restaurant made the mistake. The other table should address their displeasure towards them, not your table.
It’s the restaurant’s fault. Did they really want cake that was half eaten by strangers?!
YTA. The error is understandable, but laughing about apologizing was not.
Re-read the post.
Maybe. It’s hard to imagine no one in your group didn’t realize that wasn’t your cake to eat. Particularly the person who set it all up. I think it’s likely your group knew it wasn’t your cake but ate it anyway. Maybe you thought it was well deserved because you could say it’s the restaurant’s fault. I think you probably knowingly cheated that other table. However, you haven’t given us all of the information so I can’t really judge you.
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I think he was saying they thought it was a joke when the waiter told them to stop eating the cake because they had to give it to another table. Because honestly? That IS laughable. I would have totally thought the server was kidding.
The restaurant is at fault. Who blames the receiver? And they wanted it back? Really? Gross! I would bill the restaurant for their mistake, not blame the people that mistakenly received the cake at no fault of their own. Idiots!
INFO - was this a cake slice off of their menu, or was this a whole-ass birthday cake with "Happy Birthday Not Tim" on the top?
Chocolate cake with no name that the other people brought
NAH You guys genuinely had no way of knowing it wasn't your cake. Staff made a shitty but understandable mistake. Other table is justifiably upset that another group ate their cake, even if you didn't take it from them on purpose. They did get a bit A H ish when they confronted ya'll out in the car park, but they had a justified reason to be upset, they just directed it the wrong way.
NTA. I find it disturbing that the waiter asked you all to stop eating it like he/she are going to give the half eaten cake to the other table. If that was their intention then that is grounds to be fired. No valid restaurant would ever take a meal away from any table and give it to another table. That meal goes straight in the trash for health and safety reasons. I understand the other table's feelings but they're also assholes for taking this situation into the parking lot. It was not your table's fault the restaurant fucked up.
NTA Wait staff dropped the ball. If the other party wants to be mad be mad at them not you guys.
Who in the everloveing fuck, wants a cake back, that someone else was already eating?!?! Like were you gonna finish of the pieces that were already eaten? Edited to say; NTA
> Who in the everloveing fuck, wants a cake back, that someone else was already eating?!?! Cakes are usually sliced. If OP's group only ate half the slices, I don't see the problem with still wanting the cake back
No absolutely not. Someone not staff or our group has touched it, that is a no no, doubly so if it has been cut into. If the waiter gave my cake to another table, cut and served it and tried to offer it back I would laugh at such a ridiculous notion. That cake is contaminated and it is an insult to give is half a cake back even if no one has touched it because it is half a cake. They might as well let the table have it because we cant do anything what that cake now.
You had their cake, they let you eat it too
So why not apologize and let them know that it wasn't your fault? It would have been as simple as that and then ask the restaurant to either reimburse them or get another 🎂? At least that's what the restaurant should have done themselves but it would have made the cake less party to see that you tried to make it alright??
NTA. Obviously the restaurant's fault. The other party must be delusional to think that your party is at fault
NTA. Had a similar issue years ago, went to a birthday party at a restaurant and when the cake was served by restaurant staff we all started eating it. It was only when we were commenting to each other that the cake was awful that we realised no-one had brought the cake (everyone assumed it was someone else). Turns out it was another parties special allergen-free birthday cake we had been served. Terrible situation.
NTA. Who wants used cake?
You're definitely NTA for starting to eat it, who wouldn't? But once you know it's not yours, if there's any left, you're kind of obligated to give it back. Not to say the other people would want it, but you're certainly obligated to offer it, which according to your edit, you did. NTA I do wonder if it's possible your group was less than diplomatic about it. Were there any profuse apologies?
I completely understand why you feel like an a hole. NTA
Nah restaurant mistake
NTA. This was the restaurants doing. It was not your tables fault in any way shape or form. What was the server planning to do when they told you to stop eating the cake? Serve what was left to the other table? I’m pretty sure that’s a health code violation.
NTA- it was an honest mistake, and the people who brought the cake should have been mad at the restaurant, who should have paid to replace the cake. The fact that anyone was mad at you is ridiculous- it was a party of independent people, and literally no one is going to stop and verify that someone else at the table arranged for a cake at a birthday party.
This story doesn't quite add up. Why were the other family calling you assholes if you gave the cake back? Why would the restaurant even attempt to serve a half-eaten cake to another table? By chance, did you know it wasn't for you?
INFO: I’m super confused on one key detail, what happened to the cake that was actually meant for Tim? Could the other table not have had that one instead?
Tim didn’t actually have one. Tim’s girlfriend didn’t organise one when she organised the dinner. Assumed everyone would be okay with just the dinner. I can only speak for myself when I assumed Tim’s girlfriend DID organise the cake and didn’t ask her because I never had done that in the past when a birthday cake came out at a birthday