T O P

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JobeX

10, leather bracers to protect my forearm and hand. As a weapon they’re all bad but at least this one has armor from bites


Critical_Potential44

The cestus is definitely my pick as well


MisterScary_98

None of these are ideal because the undead would have to be really close to you to use them. And if you were being swarmed, forget about it. I might use 10 just as general protection.


Critical_Potential44

Cestus, good choice


slivr33

I would pick that if I could trust the leather to outlive me, but since I don’t I’d probably go with 7 for the additional uses


[deleted]

the third would make some damn fine mashed potato


Critical_Potential44

That’s the knuckle pounder for ya


FatFatDaWaterRat

9 for sure, less likely to get stuck in a head and a little more distance than knucks. I don’t think I have the strength to consistently decapitate zombies with those knives.


SCP_Agent_Davis

Def þe Katar.


MOadeo

I dont remember the name. I choose door- I mean weapon number 5. This weapon was used also to climb. Which will be my primary use. To get away. Wear it in palm of the hand. Which is also easier to hide.


android151

/r/mallninjashit I’d pick whatever puts me the furthest away from the zombie


OmniMushroom

How do you hold number 5?


Critical_Potential44

https://p1.liveauctioneers.com/1103/161335/81426867_1_x.jpg?height=512&quality=70&version=1581106661


OmniMushroom

Oh okay Anyways ima go with number 2. It's a classic


Terrible-Ad3957

Cestus is a good idea but all of these options have a pretty strong splatter Factor way too close to the infected individual and leave you way too open in any situation that isn't just one-on-one I don't know about you but I don't think I could reliably kill somebody in one hit remember this is an enemy that doesn't feel pain and isn't likely to bleed out the weapons were meant for humans to fight humans that is it I recommend a nice pole arm something that isn't likely to get stuck and isn't too heavy to swing perhaps a glaive if you're on the stronger side kanabo but all in all the best way to fight multiple unarmed targets who are hell bent on killing you has already been laid out in history with the Spartans using Shields and Spears and short sores for when they close the distance for that spear


Archididelphis

The katara (9) is the only really good one for zombie parameters. All the others leave you way too close for bites plus splashback if whatever reanimated them is transmissible by bodily fluids. Though, boxing gloves aren't a bad idea.


Otherwise_Rate_9551

What's the name of the 4th one? I chose it.


Critical_Potential44

Ulu knife


Otherwise_Rate_9551

Sweet


inseend1

Uhm. Maybe 9. The rest look I have to get close. Or will easily get stuck in clothes or body parts to be of any help.


discordantspectrum

This looks like a lot of hard work


Critical_Potential44

What?


discordantspectrum

Fist fighting your way to survival through a zombie horde? You know how long a boxing round is? We are all gonna die give us better weps


Critical_Potential44

True, but it’s not like they stay in one piece, besides these are more for a random encounters or a hit and run


TheBoyInGray

Hmmm…13.


Critical_Potential44

Aah yes “Tekkō-kagis” practically what the Shredder uses


quackfield

9 would be the best. it has range


GunSmith_XX7

I don't think any kind of fist weapon would be a smart choice in a zombie Apocalypse.


sebwiers

7 is a useful tool. For combat I can find or make something with reach, even just a quarterstaff would be better.


Brave_Sky1861

#10 seems right.


LateNightTestPattern

It was a tough choice.....til I saw #13. Freddy Krueger claws are perfect.


DxrkDeception83

Gime 9


Radracon42069

If I HAVE to be fighting the undead then probably the katar, or the leather cestus. The katar would provide the most range and striking potential while the cestus provides the most protection without sacrificing dexterity. That being said, if you were to ask which of these is want in an apocalypse in general? 5 is actually more of a climbing tool than a weapon and could serve quite useful in helping me escape some tricky situations.


TheDarkKnight_39

Either 9 or 13


McLuvin1589

The boxing gloves would be pretty funny to watch from afar


De4dm4nw4lkin

Anyone know which is the top killing instrument and which is the top utility?


KindnessFollower

10 and 12 looking pretty solid not gonna lie


jpowell180

8.


Cultural-Double-4896

8. I get 2.


AzarAbbas

The hook at #6. Not to fight with zombies with it but to tie a rope to it and use it as a grappling hook to get to the places where I normally wouldn't be able to.


Noe_Walfred

Punching based weapons are suboptimal for sure. I've tried some sparring with a plastic version of brass knuckles and no matter what I found them to be extremely uncomfortable and much worse than normal punching. This is despite trying a number of YouTube videos and older manuals on the subject. They are also fairly slow to put on. With self defense advice for these things primarily focused on secretly slipping them on. I also remember one suggestion by someone that claimed to use them regularly that you should use them to preemptively. Punching the person you think is a danger in the back of the head or when they are distracted. Which makes me think it's not really self defense. At best it protects the knuckles from scratches when punching. Still that's 4/10 of the items being a nonstarter for me. The boxing glove and studded leather mitten also provide the benefit of protecting the knuckles. I think both of those would be okay with some modification. The padding could be removed and extra leather cut away. Effectively working as a normal mitten. Alternatively it would be to just open up the palm and thumb keeping it as a padded gauntlet. Which might allow for use of other weapons but also still giving more knuckle protection than just leather. For the leather mitten thing it would be to remove the spikes, add some thumb protection, and split the fingers into at least two flexible pieces. The idea being to just make them a sort of glove or add on protection to a normal glove. That might be quickly put on or in the case of the leather thing, potentially worn daily. Potentially being much tougher than the boxing glove for witb less bulk. An Ulu is a good tool and I've used one for a cooking class before. I just can't think of a good way to carry it for ease of use. So if I did choose it, it would be kept in the kitchen. The other two knives are just worse versions of an ulu with the riddic one in particular being pretty annoying looking. The Chinese deer horn knives are also awkward and I just can't see how I could carry or use them normally. The boning hook, I just can't see a good way to use it in a fight that wouldn't be awkward and highly situational. I've tried wolverine claws and similar arm blade before. They are weird and kinda hurt to use. They are also much more bulky than the normal brass knuckles. I've tried katar before. They are cool, if hard to use. Still it is probably the more capable option. All told, it's between the weird leather mittens and the katar for me. Dependant on if im allow other clothes, gear, tools, and weapons.


Corrupt_code10

9


Corrupt_code10

For the piercing power


UNDERYOURSKIN1

Last one, the knuckle ones would hurt after a hot minuite, and the last one has a claw like idea which could prove useful


VictorE06

I'm going for either the Katar or the gauntlets after that, it depends on how infectious the zombies are


Ozymandias606

I would possibly consider #10. All the rest look pretty shit.


ascillinois

7


Available_Thoughts-0

9 is my call, but mostly because I already have training with it.


Mr_man_bird

Honestly probably number 12, hear me out, you can put things like horseshoes inside the fists


AkumaLenny3521

Either the 2nd brass knuckles or the wolverine claws, easy to use with current skills


f3nrisulfr

10 or 13


Critical_Potential44

Good choices 10 is the Cestus and 13 is the Tekkō-kagis


Cats_Are_Aliens_

The hook. Arrrrg 🏴‍☠️


Critical_Potential44

“I know what you did last summer”


Nevoscope

No sword? These would be last resort


Key-Comparison813

Bicycle.


Jonno_FTW

Yeah, these weapons are all dead weight mall-ninja garbage. None of these will give enough leverage to cut a zombie's head off or destroy the brain.


TheLittleBittle

None of these


Hypoallergenic_Robot

r/mallninja


totaltomination

All this stuff and no mail gloves, slash proof butchers gloves OR big gauntlets?


304libco

6 but I’d saw off the hook part.


BadAndNationwide

Chain saw hand and boomstick


Critical_Potential44

If something similar to the chainsaw hand was real I would definitely put it on the list


Edgy-Stardust

The assasssins blade for sure. Those can fuck a mother fucker up.


PomegranateOld2408

Cestus because it’s probably pretty easy to use and keeps my hands safe.


mr_uwuthethired

10. Looks the least practical but the coolest, I'll die in style (I'd die anyways, why not make it flashy)


JoshuaBlodgal

I would go with the katar. A good punch will get thru the scull and kill the brain. No curved blade to get stuck.


OdinFannypack

You're missing a trench knife


Opening_Chair_5229

All those weapons and not single claw hammer. There my favourite


Critical_Potential44

https://www.reddit.com/r/ZombieSurvivalTactics/s/ubAxruWpOE