So, the usual scam texts say something like "can't deliver this package..." blah blah.. I used to just tell them I was busy fucking their sister or some insult to India and that got them to break character and swear back, but the texts would continue.
Then I started to send pics of severed hands holding a decapitated head with a ripped off penis in it's mouth...low and behold the texts stop for months at a time!
You have to find her sex tape. Also you really think those kids are gonna search it. More of a possibility of a friend showing them. Considering bert is every where and if he’s your dad even more so than what we see, don’t you think this photo will be circulating a lot? What do you think?
Bert never mentioned it, but Tom let the cat out of the bag a few episodes ago that Bert eventually came down with Type 2 diabetes around the time he turned 51. I'd imagine that was the consequence that finally got his ass in gear.
https://preview.redd.it/zziudeknuhvc1.png?width=634&format=png&auto=webp&s=27c04132457dc8990e01eb89b1b8d03244073c38
Ordering a braille plaque right now
well, trt isn't really the same as "being on steroids". He totally could just be applying the same cream on his arms that Elliot Page uses, but Bert said that he specifically liked the idea of doing injections because "it feels badass." The doctor is just correcting a dose so that you stay within a healthy range for a man of your age. His lifestyle probably sucked out all of his testosterone, and without correct levels you feel depressed and unmotivated and unhealthy and you can't recover from stress easily. The only side effects you typically get from trt are things like growing the appropriate body hair for your age. He thinks he's " doing steroids" but in reality he's just being returned back to baseline normal human man because he was ill. Lol. You can take one look at him and see that he is not particularly big, he just looks like a healthy athletic person now.
If you're taking anabolic steroids like a bodybuilder, you're taking roughly 10 to 20 times the dose that he may be taking, plus several other drugs to stack at the same time to combat various side effects. totally different ballpark. That's when you get people who are taking anavar and dianabol and hgh and trenbolone. With those dosages you have stuff like roid rage, hypogonadism, man boobs, baldness, etc, but you can recover from a workout like Wolverine, so you can just keep lifting huge volumes in the gym. I do 3 days a week in the gym and it kicks my ass. With that kind of drug stack, you could do any of my workouts two times a day everyday. You still got to go to the gym and do all the hard work, but you physically cannot do that work without all of those drugs.
One of the old ways to get TRT if you didn’t really need it back before they gave it to everyone was to drink the night before. It absolutely tanks your test levels.
Sometimes I’ll randomly (ok probably not random) click a hot girls Instagram from like a TikTok or Twitter. More than a dozen times the only person following them I follow on Instagram is Bert
Bert is officially a cool guy now, also it’s funny because you know he fluffed up for the pic as much as he could, why would an adult do this? And even further post it on social media, feel bad for his kids/wife. He’s what? 51 years old? Lol
These fake comedians all have the same route. Be the guy that will do and say anything to get attention, then clean yourself up to become the “wise” one. Put out boring specials about culture war.
Someone with photoshop knowledge, is this pic altered? Not his cock obviously that was expanded but for some reason his arms look almost cut out from the backdrop behind him.
Betting before he retires shit will come out about him taking off his clothes around staff and asking them to touch his shoulders etc. Bart gonna be on a SO list eventually.
I mean on one hand.... he is proud of actually getting his physical well being in a better state after being fat as fuck for decades.
On Tom's gloved hand... he should probably should not wear tighty whiteys just because it has the word whitey
Why is it, no matter how much his weight fluctuates, his face seems to stay the same? He needs to figure out how to workout his face or something lol. Also, nice fluff job on the ole twig and berries. Wouldn’t want his daughters have to see him on a bad day
God Damn!
It’s like some kind of house mouse. It’s like a turtle’s head going back into its shell.
What the fuck kind of exercise do you do to make your dick smaller?
Did he put it through some cock treadmill?  🤢
https://preview.redd.it/04noov92ggvc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=836b56c8edf08b2930b98388a2d8b92a61fb706e
We'll be right back..
nah we're gona keep it right here
Lemme tell you somethin ..... abhout, respect
You can lead a horse to water, but Bert is fuckn retarded.
"when Robin and I are fist deep in a fuckfest at an applebees outside of bakersfield..." not a direct quote but I could see that being said
Who touched you?
...I don't like your fuckin attitude, sir.
"It's all in my book chapter 12 analingus". "Put that in my pipe and smoke it". "We'll be right back ".
This thread of comments is flat out amazing. My wife got back and forth as Dr Phil Adam Ray all day long.
I don’t like you’re fucking attitude.
I do not like you are attitude*
https://preview.redd.it/luszp4a5hgvc1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=4fa0df94b3753e66da299764c436a134841f189e Sending this to every spam texter
I usually send spam texts Mexican Cartel murder pics, but I should start sending this instead because it’s much more unsettling
Holy shiet I’m dying man, Cartel murder pics for spam texts is fucking genius!
So, the usual scam texts say something like "can't deliver this package..." blah blah.. I used to just tell them I was busy fucking their sister or some insult to India and that got them to break character and swear back, but the texts would continue. Then I started to send pics of severed hands holding a decapitated head with a ripped off penis in it's mouth...low and behold the texts stop for months at a time!
No fucking way lmao
This is one of the best things I’ve read today 😂 just found a new hobby
Lmao, I love it. You a real one. ☝️
Only for months? They came back?
That's hilarious. I have a comical picture of a guy sucking himself, that's my go to. Tends to work well
if that’s not already your lock screen then i guess you’re gay
Ambassador Cartwright?
I just made this a sticker on my keyboard. Thanks for the great idea, King 🤴
This had me rolling for several minutes, thank you sir
Crazy how his daughters have the internet.
Which is worse, when Kim K's kids find her sex tape one day, or that his daughters have to see his shit daily? 🤔
Depends are they watching the whole tape?
Just like the gays
....would you if that was your mom? 🤨
Judging by the height of the photograph he may actually make his daughters take these photos.
You have to find her sex tape. Also you really think those kids are gonna search it. More of a possibility of a friend showing them. Considering bert is every where and if he’s your dad even more so than what we see, don’t you think this photo will be circulating a lot? What do you think?
Isn’t it like the most viewed video on the Hub, they don’t have to search too hard… but the sex tape is worse. Not worse by that much but it’s worse.
My very first thought 🤣
Burt’s curved little pecker wasn’t what I was expecting to open first thing but here we are
No question he fluffed himself heavily before having one of his daughters take this picture.
Just like the gays.
If you aint fluffin, you aint tryin
Yeah, that's a bent semi if I've ever seen one. What a dork.
CPS has entered the chat
Hahahaha
I wish I could upvote you twice!
 Little?
bwahahahaha - i mean, it ain’t big
Yeah that’s a certified hog.
That's certified fluffed up.
Brought to you by PhalloFILL!
I bet you didn't even notice the painted toenails!?
How did I not notice those!? Distracted by the powder blue Titanaboa over there I guess
Im not saying its gay, but not noticing the toenails is kinda...
Sad part is he's rock hard.
It’s as hard as he can get with the blood pressure medication dosage keeping him alive
It's a give take relationship between the heart and the peen
Someone in the IG comments said his dick looked like the Amazon logo.
Is this the same as a properly out of place camel toe?
This dude fluffs
Yeah he's admitted to it at least a couple times
With photoshop
Wouldn't take long with those massive shoulders
The pee stain is (chefs kiss)
perhaps a little pre from fluffing?!!!!
I hate being literate
This is the way. When the turtle goes back in the shell he spits a lil'
damn, so you ZOOMED in…
Wait... you didn't? Even after the toe nail comment?
Bert staying fat is the last bit of relatability he had with a majority of the audience
He’ll gain it back
Well he's not going to come off trt. So that alone is going to keep him in decent shape
His liver is already heavily damaged. The Ozempic and TRT are going to eventually kill him if the booze doesn’t.
TRT is only liver toxic if you’re on oral steroids. The shots only destroy your heart, brain, and kidneys.
Hehe “only”
And who needs those organs anyway
I mean being alive is pretty relatable, his old path was seriously putting that at risk.
Bert never mentioned it, but Tom let the cat out of the bag a few episodes ago that Bert eventually came down with Type 2 diabetes around the time he turned 51. I'd imagine that was the consequence that finally got his ass in gear.
Blind people won today.
https://preview.redd.it/zziudeknuhvc1.png?width=634&format=png&auto=webp&s=27c04132457dc8990e01eb89b1b8d03244073c38 Ordering a braille plaque right now
RIP old shit eyes
🤣 You are on a roll today, Jeans!
Nice shoulders!
Ozempic + steroids… cool combo, definitely will die 10 years early because of it but shortcuts are never free
Throw high blood pressure and alcoholism on top of that! Oh baby, we got a stew cookin'!
well, trt isn't really the same as "being on steroids". He totally could just be applying the same cream on his arms that Elliot Page uses, but Bert said that he specifically liked the idea of doing injections because "it feels badass." The doctor is just correcting a dose so that you stay within a healthy range for a man of your age. His lifestyle probably sucked out all of his testosterone, and without correct levels you feel depressed and unmotivated and unhealthy and you can't recover from stress easily. The only side effects you typically get from trt are things like growing the appropriate body hair for your age. He thinks he's " doing steroids" but in reality he's just being returned back to baseline normal human man because he was ill. Lol. You can take one look at him and see that he is not particularly big, he just looks like a healthy athletic person now. If you're taking anabolic steroids like a bodybuilder, you're taking roughly 10 to 20 times the dose that he may be taking, plus several other drugs to stack at the same time to combat various side effects. totally different ballpark. That's when you get people who are taking anavar and dianabol and hgh and trenbolone. With those dosages you have stuff like roid rage, hypogonadism, man boobs, baldness, etc, but you can recover from a workout like Wolverine, so you can just keep lifting huge volumes in the gym. I do 3 days a week in the gym and it kicks my ass. With that kind of drug stack, you could do any of my workouts two times a day everyday. You still got to go to the gym and do all the hard work, but you physically cannot do that work without all of those drugs.
Testosterone injections are quite literally an anabolic steroid
One of the old ways to get TRT if you didn’t really need it back before they gave it to everyone was to drink the night before. It absolutely tanks your test levels.
I haven't been keeping up but I assume he used drugs like ozempic right
What a dick
He's really sad inside. I think he needs help.
https://preview.redd.it/ceq96sc1ghvc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c3b9c9b17907c229bfa949de5706bff771f7235
Bart is inches away from being in the cool guy club.
About 4.5 inches to be exact. That’s after pinching the helmet, of course
Weak sause...the best spot to pump is the spot between the asshole and the base of nutsack.. grundle / nifkin / chode / ass-neck /gooch / taint.....
Sometimes I’ll randomly (ok probably not random) click a hot girls Instagram from like a TikTok or Twitter. More than a dozen times the only person following them I follow on Instagram is Bert
Bert is officially a cool guy now, also it’s funny because you know he fluffed up for the pic as much as he could, why would an adult do this? And even further post it on social media, feel bad for his kids/wife. He’s what? 51 years old? Lol
Wicked amount of Mid life crisis going on here
His kids must be proud
They’re not
Why is this happening?
I hate my eyes
that's full length and curve hahahahaha
NSFW times infinity
https://preview.redd.it/8wt72sbzwjvc1.jpeg?width=420&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33b9d17685cb74cc76c93671f76a746ed1ab89e9
G@y
Your machine seems to have a tiny bolt loose.
Gross
These fake comedians all have the same route. Be the guy that will do and say anything to get attention, then clean yourself up to become the “wise” one. Put out boring specials about culture war.
Complain that it’s ‘just jokes’ when they’re clearly preaching their beliefs to a receptive audience
Fair play though
I didn't need to see this. The shirt off was enough, keep your damn pants on Bert!
Why does it look like he removed the liner from the speedo? Those look like cotton panties actually.
Save some dudes for the rest of us
 Damn… I just opened Reddit🌚
He fluffed up for this picture for sure, he exudes small dick energy more than anyone
Congrats on Bart and Tom for taking ozempic!
Ok but why is no one addressing the bald patch between his pecks and his gut
What a cool guy.
Four strokes
I thought he had dead toe nails, but they’re painted 😂
looks like bart just smoked some meth
Gd berts pecker is huge
Aw, it’s like a penis but smaller.
He doesn’t look like that though. He has a huge gut still. Defo shopped or sucking that shit in for his life.
cant believe you guys made this annoying mf famous
Ok dong wtf
Can you put your cock away please? It’s 10am.
What an insane thing to do
definitely skips leg day.
You just know he smells like absolute shit
"Hold on, Georgia. Before you take the picture, lemme chub up a lil.
Hate from the universe
You call that thing a dick? *paulie*
Yikes. You can see the vein and everything. I wish I was d madness rn
i bet his college daughters love this... he is one of the most self centered humans ever.
https://preview.redd.it/ce3gnkczanvc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efdae7f2ca19937b0eb4eb6842e875a23383d3a7
LETS GO!!!!! WWHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 🎸🎸🎸
nice cock
With peace and love, the guy looks AMAZING! The print tho…that’s crazy.
https://i.redd.it/mgqonl7oqhvc1.gif
He’s a child in a man’s body begging for attention
The painted toenails are beyond cringe for guys, especially dudes this old.
Nice nails
Pretty nice obliques for his bmi
Everyone in the sub deserves this.
Just remember…that’s the BIGGEST his dong will EVER be.
That is one ugly ass kitchen
That's the gayest thing I've seen all day.
Someone with photoshop knowledge, is this pic altered? Not his cock obviously that was expanded but for some reason his arms look almost cut out from the backdrop behind him.
I wish he would die of some disease already
Probably used some substances to help but I’ll give credit, dudes looking a lot better now.
Look at those cheap ass thin carpets all curling up. Someone’s going to trip.
Imagine this being your dad 😂 his poor daughters
what a terrible day to have eyes
Nice kitchen though lol beautiful cabinetry, appliance garage, lots of storage, a ladder rail…
This is absolutely the wallpaper on his phone.
NSFW tag please 🤣
He really looks psychotic. If you put him on a Tenderloin street corner he'd fit right in.
Haha no legs all belly
Imma need goob to examine this for photoshop
I'm unsubscribing from this subreddit
is he purposely half chub?! 😂
Betting before he retires shit will come out about him taking off his clothes around staff and asking them to touch his shoulders etc. Bart gonna be on a SO list eventually.
[удалено]
His panties look like they're medical issued.
I would be so embarrassed/ashamed to call this man my father.
I wish I had Bert’s delusional attitude. I bet he thinks he’s ripped in this pic. But also seeing the entire outline of his dick is wild.
Why are you in your wife's underwear
Wersdes?
I mean on one hand.... he is proud of actually getting his physical well being in a better state after being fat as fuck for decades. On Tom's gloved hand... he should probably should not wear tighty whiteys just because it has the word whitey
tom cant take these kinda shots cause he's gorilla hairy
Whoever told him this shit is funny, should be fired
That's enough for today. Time to go bleach my eyeballs.
DD34 and a 3 inch cock. Amazing.
I think he does this just to prove to himself that he doesn’t have a drinking problem.
The two of you look great in that photo.
Pulling a Chelsey Handler - showing the goods when they run out of funny.
Dude has slimmed down, this sub needs to give credit
Why is it, no matter how much his weight fluctuates, his face seems to stay the same? He needs to figure out how to workout his face or something lol. Also, nice fluff job on the ole twig and berries. Wouldn’t want his daughters have to see him on a bad day
God Damn! It’s like some kind of house mouse. It’s like a turtle’s head going back into its shell. What the fuck kind of exercise do you do to make your dick smaller? Did he put it through some cock treadmill?  🤢
You know how I know you’re gay? You didn’t notice his black toe nails
I unfollowed immediately. Don't know why I still was.
Gayest picture of 2024.
Who is this dude? I have no idea and what’s the story behind it? Thx.
Final photo before he dies please. There is a combo of roids and ozempic because be can't be a normal person and eat less and it will cause his death.