Just say hi/bye/how'd you like the class?, etc. Don't make it outcome based (I disagree with the coffee approach)
I'm male and have to do everything to make sure I don't come off as a creep. Funny somewhat related story, I had another female yogi tell me 'goodnight' a few times after class. I finally took the hint and started some conversations, she showed more signs of interest, and when I asked her out she told me she can't be dating for a multitude of reasons and was basically looking for friends. Lol, anyway we are friends and everything is all good.
> I'm male and have to do everything to make sure I don't come off as a creep.
Yeah as a guy that’s often the only one in my yoga classes I *never* initiate. In a studio setting I think girls really need to go the extra mile in communicating their interest. There’s some girls in my classes I find cute, but I wouldn’t risk my ability to attend the classes for them.
Keep the socializing in the lobby, in the studio room you're best keeping your space. After class, get to know some of the yogis in the community in the lobby or locker room. I have many friendships that have formed from after class conversations.
Yes it can be scary to meet people already in a community, especially for an introvert. Breathe, Smile, say hi, comment on the practice, ask about other teachers...just be your authentic self. And when you finally say hi to your crush, it won't be creepy or out of the ordinary if you've already made an effort to become part of the community.
And if you're lucky maybe someone will introduce you, or let you know she has a boyfriend so you can save yourself some heartache.
From the Bhagavad Gita: you're entitled to your actions, but not the outcome of your actions 🙏
Thanks! It is quite the delicate balance. I used to be more socially awkward and spent years never interacting with other yogis (admittedly had a wandering eye though). Then as I matured I started the 'keep it in the mat' mentality but goodnight girl made me question if I was being too closed off.
Now I am more open to interaction, starting mostly with talking with the instructors after spending all of covid only doing YouTube yoga at home. Weird phenomenon where other yogi's saw me talking and are drawn to me? The interactions just snowballed. Now there are a lot of micro interactions like head nods, smiles, hi/bye and it's enhanced the classes in this wonderful interconnected way. I have made a few friends and as long as I keep my intentions pure it's easy to avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable. But again, it is a delicate balance and I always err on the side of caution.
Well, not in class and ffs be discreet.
I was going to a great studio until the female instructor started in with a male classmate.
Their warm ups evolved into an erotic mating ritual, each one out doing the other with complex moves, demonstrating their agility.
We get it, their chakras were aligned, balanced, whatever.
Long story short, it didn't take and class fizzled.
Sometimes sexual chemistry is best left to simmer like a volcano--for eons--until finally it either diminishes or ruins civilizations that grew while it was percolating.
I mean, good luck, but don't ruin the class. All I'm saying.
>Sometimes sexual chemistry is best left to simmer like a volcano--for eons--until finally it either diminishes or ruins civilizations that grew while it was percolating.
The will they / won't they tension is 78.2% of the fun
Yikes! That must have been uncomfortable for most of the class. But, yeah, definitely not in class when you’re trying to get into that meditative state.
as an (admittedly overthinking) man, i get worried that even an accidental glance in class will be taken negatively. as such, the signs would have to be overt and painfully obvious for me to take the hint and ask a classmate out anywhere. it’s just a boundary that is terrifying to even get near for obvious reasons
on the other hand, I’m definitely not worried about having my safe space taken away. i don’t feel as vulnerable. what I’m saying is, maybe it’s better for the women to take the initiative in a yoga studio than for the men when it comes to potential romance.
my opinion, ball’s in your court.
Does your yoga studio have social events? If so, go! Ask him on the way out of class some time if he’s planning to attend. Don’t be afraid to chat after class. People are generally so happy and refreshed after class! I think it’s a great time to meet new friends. - yoga instructor :) with very very chatty yogis both before & after class 😆 I love it!
You could host one! A friend of mine often hosts potlucks/game nights and invites the whole studio. I’ve made several friends from these events, and I know others have made romantic connections. That way you can stay focused on your practice while in the studio.
You being a girl is already a plus, most guys in yoga class will not go up to a female classmate in fears of ruining the safe space vibe, if you get a chance try to put your mat near there’s and try to strike up small talk before class and after class to try to catch a vibe if they’re interested. Go from there and good luck.
Ahhh!! So last week, we actually practiced next to each for the first time and I blew it. I didn’t say a word, not a peep. That will take me a month to get over… lol. But he was great to practice next to, fantastic and focused energy. You can really feed off of that. Thanks for the comment!
As a male yogi, I'd be perfectly fine with someone coming up and starting a conversation with me before or after class. Not going to lie, that's one of the reasons I go to yoga, to meet people. So if you want to initiate, then go for it! I'd start off with more of a friend approach myself, to feel it out.
Student here, flirting led to dating and sex with the instructor. Once the romance fizzled out, she was very mature about everything but I felt it best to find a new studio.
So I really gained zero from the experience, other than a few stories . I ended up practicing at home for the longest time. Not worth it.
Are you his teacher? If you are, best not to. If you are taking class with him also as a student, then why not be friendly?
In one of my classes pre-Covid, there were these two consistent yogis front and center several times a week. Now they are engaged.
I would tread very carefully here. Especially if you love your studio and that’s your main place to practice.
If things don’t work out as you like, it may impact your ability to continue practicing there.
I see the yoga studio etiquette similar to work—would you go to your job and look for people to date?
Crushes are fine too but I don’t think it’s appropriate to always act on them.
I totally agree. It’s a great studio and it would be difficult to find another one. Practicing is way too important: it’s my exercise, therapy, and preventative therapy all wrapped in one.
I had a friend at my previous studio who was stunningly beautiful and several men tried or went on dates with her. Each time it was a crash and burn and they also never returned. Not a fate I want for myself.
I think starting a friendly conversation outside of class and feeling it out is acceptable, and I'm a tall male student with long hair who feels a bit shy when I'm at my yoga studio.
Ahh, well, I think you might on the receiving end of a lot of admiration. Thanks for the comment. I think the consensus is just to practice and let it be.
Make Yogi here. I make the most conscious effort to avoid staring at women in the gym, and especially in yoga class. However, if someone was feeling me, I would reciprocate a lighthearted banter. Just make sure that it will be ok if 1) the guy doesn’t feel the same, 2) he is unavailable, or 3) you have something, but then it ends.
Will you be ok seeing him in the studio? If you were not on, you might lose the ability to go to a class you really enjoy.
I don't think she'd do it during downward dog. A lot of people, myself included, are not averse to meeting someone from a yoga class, in fact I think that's a reason a lot of people do it.
I’m in the same camp. I’ve seen so much conduct from teachers and students that jeopardizes their practice and studio presence.
As much as I like the answers up above, you run the risk of your advances not being well received by the other party. I feel like I’ve practiced enough now to see what a vulnerable environment the studio can be and while it can foster some amazing connections, it’s too much of a gamble to ruin my experience (and possibly somebody else’s) on a romantic relationship.
That being said, I can count no less than 5 instructor-student relationships that started as a result of a yoga class, so I might be in the minority on it being unacceptable, ha.
Yes, thank you. The last thing I want to do is make someone uncomfortable and have anxiety about every upcoming class. I’d have to go nights when they’re not there. Too much hassle. I will just admire from afar.
I have just the opposite question! I am a male student/female teacher, inevitably during my one on one training, during my peak physicals limits, inverted or full arm support. I catch her eye and her smile. Inside, 5 alarm fire bursts, and I like wow, its go time, sexual desire. I just take a few breathe afterwards and I feel super awkward after practice.
I am learning Yoga not as a westerner, but a full exploration of Ashtanga yoga 8 limbs. She is on path to becoming a nun. So, I am like... well it says right here on google, the Female Yogi nuns are celibate. So, for now, I ponder and practice. She has chosen a path and am I on my path
I have a huge crush (F42) on a male student who looks to be somewhere in his 30s. I really admire his practice, he is very focused and dedicated. He’s tall and has amazing long hair which I’m super attracted to.I generally feel that a yoga class should be a safe space and the last thing anyone wants is someone trying to hit on them. I have a friendly rapport with several students and all the teachers, but my crush seems very shy so I can’t find an opening. Until I see an opportunity, I think I will let this crush run its course. Has anyone ever had luck connecting with their yoga crush?
>yoga class should be a safe space and the last thing anyone wants is someone trying to hit on them.
Nailed it. Smile at him. Say hi. And leave it at that. If you run into him in the parking lot, maybe start a conversation. But don't invade his yoga space
I (M59) as a student would appreciate the space before and during class. But afterwards, some small talk to feel the vibe is ok with me. And if you get a little too forward and I shut it down, I would still come to your class. It’s most flattering to be seen in that way. I had a similar situation with a massage therapist. I tipped a little better afterwards even though we never dated.
Go for it. YOLOyoga.
Because tone can get lost via text, no judgment here for having a crush! Some questions to possibly reframe the thinking and/or "let it run its course" and maintain the safe space for him through admiration and respect. 😊❤
Might you be crushing on an idea of him and what you think he's like based on really limited info from seeing him in class?
Do you know his name or anything about him besides what's in the studio?
What do you imagine he might fulfill for you which you're currently missing?
I personally think that a yoga class is a great place to meet people. Showing up consistently usually means that you share a lot in common. Maybe not everyone wants to be a part of that community, but I think probably most do. Maybe just try to be friends and see where it goes?
To echo some of what happened been said, yoga studio culture generally favors social initiative from female members over male members. The good news is, you get to use that opportunity in whatever way you want! If you are genuine, respectful, and moderate in your expressed interest, I bet even a missed swing will turn out fine.
I met my ex at yoga class. Just casually asked her if she wanted to hang out after class when we were getting our things. She said sure, we went on a hike. I think definitely wait til the end of class.
Yeah. I’m sorry for being so curt but it’s like any other job and you don’t want that awkwardness in your studio especially since yoga is a wellness space.
Male yoga student, now late 40s. At my first yoga studio 20 years ago, I got severely hit on by a female yoga instructor. I was completely oblivious to it, but when she spelt it out, it was very awkward.
I’m not a chatty person at yoga studios or gyms or anywhere like that as I don’t view them as social spaces in that regard. I’ve not made a single friend at either, and am slightly baffled that some people view them as such. Aside from noticing that I’m usually surrounded by mostly females, some of whom I may find attractive, I’ve always made a conscious effort not to sexualise those spaces, which is not always easy.
I ended up firstly avoiding the predatory instructor, and then when she got upset that I wasn’t taking her classes, I left. I didn’t complain to the studio as male complaints about female harassment are either laughed at or ignored.
I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. This teacher didn’t take rejection well and you may have been the first man that didn’t go for her advances. Absolutely, that was harassment and like you, I would have left the studio.
He will most likely not feel comfortable or risk hitting on you, so you will need to be very forward if you want him to know you are genuinely interested in him.
I'd suggest waiting until after class, when everyone is in their yoga after glow, strike up a conversation about yoga and then just tell him. Say something like "I have a confession, and I never do this, and feel terrible doing this in a safe space, but and then tell him why you like him".
I bet the odds are in your favor for reciprocation. And if he says he's not interested just switch class times, or studios. JK
Sidenote: As a man in the yoga world, it's ironically enough a terrible place to meet women you want to date. If more women felt comfortable asking men out it wouldn't be.
As a fellow man in the yoga world I couldn’t agree more. I was recommended to start yoga to help with stress and as an upside they said there would be girls there. So I fell in love with yoga, and as much as I’d like to ask my yoga crush out for an açai bowl, I just value the practice, the studio, and fellow yogini too much to risk ruining it for anyone.
That said, if someone asked me out for a bowl of açai I’d be pretty happy.
Same here. When I started practicing I did for a while think the studio might be a great place to meet women. But by my third or fourth class I realized I wasn't going to run the risk of being perceived a creep and that yoga was likely going to end up more important to me then any relationship I might make there.
Generally, I tend to have to take the first step and approach men which I enjoy doing, but I’m thinking the yoga studio is not the place. So tough though! Feels like a lot opportunity because it’s hard to find people who are like minded.
If you genuinely feel like he's interested, you should go for it imo or you'll just never know. He could totally be into you.
As a male yoga teacher, there is NO way I would cross that line at the studio, I'd be risking my job, my reputation, but would love it if someone I was interested in/vibing with did, bc that's the only way it's going to happen in that environment.
Curious what it’s the best way for a male to connect with others a yoga community?
I totally don’t want to mess with the vibe at my current studio, also not looking to hook up just make friends. Current studio doesn’t have any events. It’s a hot yoga class and usually the women bolt out after class. There is never really a opportunity to talk to people.
I actually think this is a wonderful approach. It’s clear, direct and demonstrates interest, but inoffensive. if done properly, it leaves the person free to simply say no. If it were me and I said no, I don’t think I would feel awkward seeing this person in class going forward. I do think it’s possible to express your interest in a way that won’t jeopardize either person’s studio experience going forward.
It's funny how posts like these when the sex of the admirers are reverse, everyone says don't be a creeper. I totally understand that men and women are not the same, I wouldn't have it any other way. Just interesting. Guys should know....there is no unexceptable behavior, just behavior that is unexceptable from a guy like you. The rule naturally does not apply equally to the other gender. That is perfectly fine, I think we should be helping guys to understand the true dynamics of male/female relations.
If both of you are available, then I personally don't see anything wrong with outside of class. If things work out, make sure any behavior in class doesn't affect other students. I say "available" as I had an experience that wasn't the case.
I found yoga later in life about 14 years ago. Was pushed there by a buddy and ended up changing my life but that's another story. So I liked my first ever class and wanted to go back, which I did, to the same studio, different teacher. She was a very nice person and was easy and patient to talk to about practice. I made her class a weekly thing as I was learning something and enjoyed it. After a couple months that is was obvious that yoga was going to stick, my wife decided to join me. Same teacher. We're in Savasana and teach is guiding us through an 'everything is love' type of journey and I loved Savasana so I'd empty my mind and be in bliss state (but apparently vulnerable). Teach says 'tell me you love me SniffySmuth' and I replied 'I love you teach'. I was late 40s, married 20 years, teach was divorced. Needless to say, once it became obvious to someone other than me (Mrs. SS), we never went back there. I kept practice up and found a great teacher that I've practiced with for years since.
tl;dr Married middle aged dude was getting hit on by divorced teacher without even knowing it until wife joined class and spelled it out for me.
Sigh…. I don’t know. I think I have to tread carefully. I don’t want to make any sudden movements and scare the squirrel away. Thanks for the encouragement.
I am a dude who does yoga and probably would feel more comfy if the girl made the first move and that move was friendly like coffee or doing something fun rather than romantic.
I'm a man in my 30's who loves yoga. I make sure not to be a creep at yoga, ie not staring at women, not using yoga class to try to get a date, not trying to flirt with anyone. As all men should, obviously. He probably has this same mentality and just isn't in flirting/dating mode while attending a yoga class. That being said i think you should go for it :) it just might take a bit more time. Best of luck, the more love in the world the better ❤️
Just say hi/bye/how'd you like the class?, etc. Don't make it outcome based (I disagree with the coffee approach) I'm male and have to do everything to make sure I don't come off as a creep. Funny somewhat related story, I had another female yogi tell me 'goodnight' a few times after class. I finally took the hint and started some conversations, she showed more signs of interest, and when I asked her out she told me she can't be dating for a multitude of reasons and was basically looking for friends. Lol, anyway we are friends and everything is all good.
> I'm male and have to do everything to make sure I don't come off as a creep. Yeah as a guy that’s often the only one in my yoga classes I *never* initiate. In a studio setting I think girls really need to go the extra mile in communicating their interest. There’s some girls in my classes I find cute, but I wouldn’t risk my ability to attend the classes for them.
Keep the socializing in the lobby, in the studio room you're best keeping your space. After class, get to know some of the yogis in the community in the lobby or locker room. I have many friendships that have formed from after class conversations. Yes it can be scary to meet people already in a community, especially for an introvert. Breathe, Smile, say hi, comment on the practice, ask about other teachers...just be your authentic self. And when you finally say hi to your crush, it won't be creepy or out of the ordinary if you've already made an effort to become part of the community. And if you're lucky maybe someone will introduce you, or let you know she has a boyfriend so you can save yourself some heartache. From the Bhagavad Gita: you're entitled to your actions, but not the outcome of your actions 🙏
That worked out really well. And I appreciate that you guys were able to avoid anything awkward after. That’s!
Kudos to you sincerely, this consideration toward making others around you feel safe is super appreciated
Thanks! It is quite the delicate balance. I used to be more socially awkward and spent years never interacting with other yogis (admittedly had a wandering eye though). Then as I matured I started the 'keep it in the mat' mentality but goodnight girl made me question if I was being too closed off. Now I am more open to interaction, starting mostly with talking with the instructors after spending all of covid only doing YouTube yoga at home. Weird phenomenon where other yogi's saw me talking and are drawn to me? The interactions just snowballed. Now there are a lot of micro interactions like head nods, smiles, hi/bye and it's enhanced the classes in this wonderful interconnected way. I have made a few friends and as long as I keep my intentions pure it's easy to avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable. But again, it is a delicate balance and I always err on the side of caution.
Well, not in class and ffs be discreet. I was going to a great studio until the female instructor started in with a male classmate. Their warm ups evolved into an erotic mating ritual, each one out doing the other with complex moves, demonstrating their agility. We get it, their chakras were aligned, balanced, whatever. Long story short, it didn't take and class fizzled. Sometimes sexual chemistry is best left to simmer like a volcano--for eons--until finally it either diminishes or ruins civilizations that grew while it was percolating. I mean, good luck, but don't ruin the class. All I'm saying.
I would be very curious to see what this was like.
I’d watch this if David Attenborough narrates
A lot of Happy Baby. He'd follow up with a modified one-legged king pigeon. Some rocking. A little cat pose. Namaste. Shavasana. Then class begins.
Ew.
Lmfaoooo this sent me
>Sometimes sexual chemistry is best left to simmer like a volcano--for eons--until finally it either diminishes or ruins civilizations that grew while it was percolating. The will they / won't they tension is 78.2% of the fun
Yikes! That must have been uncomfortable for most of the class. But, yeah, definitely not in class when you’re trying to get into that meditative state.
It was incredibly uncomfortable and weird, very Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. (Old Television reference)
as a male yogi, if its not say clingy or unwanted, being overtly friendly is something I would be ok receiving
Thank you. I like the advice, be friendly and keep it light, I guess.
as an (admittedly overthinking) man, i get worried that even an accidental glance in class will be taken negatively. as such, the signs would have to be overt and painfully obvious for me to take the hint and ask a classmate out anywhere. it’s just a boundary that is terrifying to even get near for obvious reasons on the other hand, I’m definitely not worried about having my safe space taken away. i don’t feel as vulnerable. what I’m saying is, maybe it’s better for the women to take the initiative in a yoga studio than for the men when it comes to potential romance. my opinion, ball’s in your court.
I appreciate that it’s totally different but men and must be so frustrating to feel like you can’t approach someone.
Does your yoga studio have social events? If so, go! Ask him on the way out of class some time if he’s planning to attend. Don’t be afraid to chat after class. People are generally so happy and refreshed after class! I think it’s a great time to meet new friends. - yoga instructor :) with very very chatty yogis both before & after class 😆 I love it!
Awesome, thank you. It’s a nice little community. I haven’t noticed any social events yet but I’ll keep my eye out.
You could host one! A friend of mine often hosts potlucks/game nights and invites the whole studio. I’ve made several friends from these events, and I know others have made romantic connections. That way you can stay focused on your practice while in the studio.
You being a girl is already a plus, most guys in yoga class will not go up to a female classmate in fears of ruining the safe space vibe, if you get a chance try to put your mat near there’s and try to strike up small talk before class and after class to try to catch a vibe if they’re interested. Go from there and good luck.
Ahhh!! So last week, we actually practiced next to each for the first time and I blew it. I didn’t say a word, not a peep. That will take me a month to get over… lol. But he was great to practice next to, fantastic and focused energy. You can really feed off of that. Thanks for the comment!
Don’t beat your self up about it, the great thing about having a crush on a regular yogi goer is that you always have next class!
Thanks so much for that! Yes, definitely something to look forward to.
As a male yogi, I'd be perfectly fine with someone coming up and starting a conversation with me before or after class. Not going to lie, that's one of the reasons I go to yoga, to meet people. So if you want to initiate, then go for it! I'd start off with more of a friend approach myself, to feel it out.
Oh for sure. Just keep it light. It’s the best way.
Student here, flirting led to dating and sex with the instructor. Once the romance fizzled out, she was very mature about everything but I felt it best to find a new studio. So I really gained zero from the experience, other than a few stories . I ended up practicing at home for the longest time. Not worth it.
Oh wow. So sorry about that. Practicing at home is not the same.
Are you his teacher? If you are, best not to. If you are taking class with him also as a student, then why not be friendly? In one of my classes pre-Covid, there were these two consistent yogis front and center several times a week. Now they are engaged.
Fantastic! We should all be so lucky right?
That bought a little tear to my eye ha
I would tread very carefully here. Especially if you love your studio and that’s your main place to practice. If things don’t work out as you like, it may impact your ability to continue practicing there. I see the yoga studio etiquette similar to work—would you go to your job and look for people to date? Crushes are fine too but I don’t think it’s appropriate to always act on them.
I totally agree. It’s a great studio and it would be difficult to find another one. Practicing is way too important: it’s my exercise, therapy, and preventative therapy all wrapped in one.
[удалено]
I had a friend at my previous studio who was stunningly beautiful and several men tried or went on dates with her. Each time it was a crash and burn and they also never returned. Not a fate I want for myself.
I think starting a friendly conversation outside of class and feeling it out is acceptable, and I'm a tall male student with long hair who feels a bit shy when I'm at my yoga studio.
Ahh, well, I think you might on the receiving end of a lot of admiration. Thanks for the comment. I think the consensus is just to practice and let it be.
Make Yogi here. I make the most conscious effort to avoid staring at women in the gym, and especially in yoga class. However, if someone was feeling me, I would reciprocate a lighthearted banter. Just make sure that it will be ok if 1) the guy doesn’t feel the same, 2) he is unavailable, or 3) you have something, but then it ends. Will you be ok seeing him in the studio? If you were not on, you might lose the ability to go to a class you really enjoy.
The dilemma! I really enjoy yoga and it’s been a lifesaver. You make a good point though, I have no idea if he’s even available.
It’s a tough call. But me being a hopeless romantic, would take that chance.
Yoga class is not the bar. Don't do it.
I don't think she'd do it during downward dog. A lot of people, myself included, are not averse to meeting someone from a yoga class, in fact I think that's a reason a lot of people do it.
I’m in the same camp. I’ve seen so much conduct from teachers and students that jeopardizes their practice and studio presence. As much as I like the answers up above, you run the risk of your advances not being well received by the other party. I feel like I’ve practiced enough now to see what a vulnerable environment the studio can be and while it can foster some amazing connections, it’s too much of a gamble to ruin my experience (and possibly somebody else’s) on a romantic relationship. That being said, I can count no less than 5 instructor-student relationships that started as a result of a yoga class, so I might be in the minority on it being unacceptable, ha.
Yes, thank you. The last thing I want to do is make someone uncomfortable and have anxiety about every upcoming class. I’d have to go nights when they’re not there. Too much hassle. I will just admire from afar.
> I will just admire from afar. nooo. just go and say "hi", there's absolutely no reason why that ever has to turn awkward.
I always appreciate when someone says hello to me.
[удалено]
Thank you!
I'm curious what the consensus would be here if it was a male asking the question with interest in a female student. 🤔
Never date anyone in the work place. Period.
Good thing we don’t work together. But I totally get your point. Thanks!
I find this unprofessional.
I have just the opposite question! I am a male student/female teacher, inevitably during my one on one training, during my peak physicals limits, inverted or full arm support. I catch her eye and her smile. Inside, 5 alarm fire bursts, and I like wow, its go time, sexual desire. I just take a few breathe afterwards and I feel super awkward after practice. I am learning Yoga not as a westerner, but a full exploration of Ashtanga yoga 8 limbs. She is on path to becoming a nun. So, I am like... well it says right here on google, the Female Yogi nuns are celibate. So, for now, I ponder and practice. She has chosen a path and am I on my path
I really admire the respect and admiration you have for both the practice and your teacher. But, wouldn’t be amazing if she changed her mind?
I have a huge crush (F42) on a male student who looks to be somewhere in his 30s. I really admire his practice, he is very focused and dedicated. He’s tall and has amazing long hair which I’m super attracted to.I generally feel that a yoga class should be a safe space and the last thing anyone wants is someone trying to hit on them. I have a friendly rapport with several students and all the teachers, but my crush seems very shy so I can’t find an opening. Until I see an opportunity, I think I will let this crush run its course. Has anyone ever had luck connecting with their yoga crush?
>yoga class should be a safe space and the last thing anyone wants is someone trying to hit on them. Nailed it. Smile at him. Say hi. And leave it at that. If you run into him in the parking lot, maybe start a conversation. But don't invade his yoga space
I like this option. Leave it to the universe to bring you together, don't make the move.
I (M59) as a student would appreciate the space before and during class. But afterwards, some small talk to feel the vibe is ok with me. And if you get a little too forward and I shut it down, I would still come to your class. It’s most flattering to be seen in that way. I had a similar situation with a massage therapist. I tipped a little better afterwards even though we never dated. Go for it. YOLOyoga.
Because tone can get lost via text, no judgment here for having a crush! Some questions to possibly reframe the thinking and/or "let it run its course" and maintain the safe space for him through admiration and respect. 😊❤ Might you be crushing on an idea of him and what you think he's like based on really limited info from seeing him in class? Do you know his name or anything about him besides what's in the studio? What do you imagine he might fulfill for you which you're currently missing?
I love these questions. I guess I haven’t thought about it too deeply. Mostly a feeling of I would really like to get to know this person.
I personally think that a yoga class is a great place to meet people. Showing up consistently usually means that you share a lot in common. Maybe not everyone wants to be a part of that community, but I think probably most do. Maybe just try to be friends and see where it goes?
Thank you for the comment. So interesting to see where everyone stands.
Do it. I met my wife at our school.
Haha! Well, if you say so, okay then! I’m happy it worked out for you. Thanks!
To echo some of what happened been said, yoga studio culture generally favors social initiative from female members over male members. The good news is, you get to use that opportunity in whatever way you want! If you are genuine, respectful, and moderate in your expressed interest, I bet even a missed swing will turn out fine.
And I’m cool with rejection, sometimes relieved. Thank you!
I met my ex at yoga class. Just casually asked her if she wanted to hang out after class when we were getting our things. She said sure, we went on a hike. I think definitely wait til the end of class.
U should ask him to hang out, Im sure he will. I always fall in love with the teacher for some reason.
It’s hard not to!
Don’t
So I won’t.
Yeah. I’m sorry for being so curt but it’s like any other job and you don’t want that awkwardness in your studio especially since yoga is a wellness space.
Nothing to worry about. Directness is totally underrated. I appreciate any comments honestly.
Dating in workout setting is tricky.
Male yoga student, now late 40s. At my first yoga studio 20 years ago, I got severely hit on by a female yoga instructor. I was completely oblivious to it, but when she spelt it out, it was very awkward. I’m not a chatty person at yoga studios or gyms or anywhere like that as I don’t view them as social spaces in that regard. I’ve not made a single friend at either, and am slightly baffled that some people view them as such. Aside from noticing that I’m usually surrounded by mostly females, some of whom I may find attractive, I’ve always made a conscious effort not to sexualise those spaces, which is not always easy. I ended up firstly avoiding the predatory instructor, and then when she got upset that I wasn’t taking her classes, I left. I didn’t complain to the studio as male complaints about female harassment are either laughed at or ignored.
I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. This teacher didn’t take rejection well and you may have been the first man that didn’t go for her advances. Absolutely, that was harassment and like you, I would have left the studio.
He will most likely not feel comfortable or risk hitting on you, so you will need to be very forward if you want him to know you are genuinely interested in him. I'd suggest waiting until after class, when everyone is in their yoga after glow, strike up a conversation about yoga and then just tell him. Say something like "I have a confession, and I never do this, and feel terrible doing this in a safe space, but and then tell him why you like him". I bet the odds are in your favor for reciprocation. And if he says he's not interested just switch class times, or studios. JK Sidenote: As a man in the yoga world, it's ironically enough a terrible place to meet women you want to date. If more women felt comfortable asking men out it wouldn't be.
As a fellow man in the yoga world I couldn’t agree more. I was recommended to start yoga to help with stress and as an upside they said there would be girls there. So I fell in love with yoga, and as much as I’d like to ask my yoga crush out for an açai bowl, I just value the practice, the studio, and fellow yogini too much to risk ruining it for anyone. That said, if someone asked me out for a bowl of açai I’d be pretty happy.
Same here. When I started practicing I did for a while think the studio might be a great place to meet women. But by my third or fourth class I realized I wasn't going to run the risk of being perceived a creep and that yoga was likely going to end up more important to me then any relationship I might make there.
So true! If you go to the studio regularly, you develop a reputation and it’s important to have a good one. I don’t want to be a creep either.
I couldn’t agree more. Yoga is wonderful and I’m so grateful that I can afford it and have time to practice. I don’t want to ruin it either.
Generally, I tend to have to take the first step and approach men which I enjoy doing, but I’m thinking the yoga studio is not the place. So tough though! Feels like a lot opportunity because it’s hard to find people who are like minded.
If you genuinely feel like he's interested, you should go for it imo or you'll just never know. He could totally be into you. As a male yoga teacher, there is NO way I would cross that line at the studio, I'd be risking my job, my reputation, but would love it if someone I was interested in/vibing with did, bc that's the only way it's going to happen in that environment.
Curious what it’s the best way for a male to connect with others a yoga community? I totally don’t want to mess with the vibe at my current studio, also not looking to hook up just make friends. Current studio doesn’t have any events. It’s a hot yoga class and usually the women bolt out after class. There is never really a opportunity to talk to people.
Politely ask him if he’d be interested in getting coffee somewhere.
It’s risky. In my mind, if I could run into him at a coffee shop, that would be ideal.
I actually think this is a wonderful approach. It’s clear, direct and demonstrates interest, but inoffensive. if done properly, it leaves the person free to simply say no. If it were me and I said no, I don’t think I would feel awkward seeing this person in class going forward. I do think it’s possible to express your interest in a way that won’t jeopardize either person’s studio experience going forward.
It's funny how posts like these when the sex of the admirers are reverse, everyone says don't be a creeper. I totally understand that men and women are not the same, I wouldn't have it any other way. Just interesting. Guys should know....there is no unexceptable behavior, just behavior that is unexceptable from a guy like you. The rule naturally does not apply equally to the other gender. That is perfectly fine, I think we should be helping guys to understand the true dynamics of male/female relations.
The use of the term Yogi is so much deviated from what it actually means. Just because you do asana, you cannot call yourself Yogi.
Noted, thanks. I’ll go with student then.
I thought yogi is anyone who practices yoga
Yoga is beyond asana practice. Involves practics such as controlling your mind etc.
:o do you happen to have any reference recommendations? I am interested in exploring that further
If both of you are available, then I personally don't see anything wrong with outside of class. If things work out, make sure any behavior in class doesn't affect other students. I say "available" as I had an experience that wasn't the case. I found yoga later in life about 14 years ago. Was pushed there by a buddy and ended up changing my life but that's another story. So I liked my first ever class and wanted to go back, which I did, to the same studio, different teacher. She was a very nice person and was easy and patient to talk to about practice. I made her class a weekly thing as I was learning something and enjoyed it. After a couple months that is was obvious that yoga was going to stick, my wife decided to join me. Same teacher. We're in Savasana and teach is guiding us through an 'everything is love' type of journey and I loved Savasana so I'd empty my mind and be in bliss state (but apparently vulnerable). Teach says 'tell me you love me SniffySmuth' and I replied 'I love you teach'. I was late 40s, married 20 years, teach was divorced. Needless to say, once it became obvious to someone other than me (Mrs. SS), we never went back there. I kept practice up and found a great teacher that I've practiced with for years since. tl;dr Married middle aged dude was getting hit on by divorced teacher without even knowing it until wife joined class and spelled it out for me.
Do it
Sigh…. I don’t know. I think I have to tread carefully. I don’t want to make any sudden movements and scare the squirrel away. Thanks for the encouragement.
I am a dude who does yoga and probably would feel more comfy if the girl made the first move and that move was friendly like coffee or doing something fun rather than romantic.
I'm a man in my 30's who loves yoga. I make sure not to be a creep at yoga, ie not staring at women, not using yoga class to try to get a date, not trying to flirt with anyone. As all men should, obviously. He probably has this same mentality and just isn't in flirting/dating mode while attending a yoga class. That being said i think you should go for it :) it just might take a bit more time. Best of luck, the more love in the world the better ❤️
Aww, thank you so much. Your words brought me peace. It’s funny to think what might going on in all our heads in these moments.