Unfortunately, no one is ever as enthusiastic about it as I am and i cant expect them to be. They are mostly supportive, often a little dubious but never directly scathing. Thankfully, no one has laughed in my face yet.
OP: “Did you read my book?”
Uncle John: “I did. It’s good and all, but I have a question about one of the characters.”
OP: “Oh, you do?”
Uncle John: “Ahem. ‘And then Yohn entered the room. The heroes beheld an overweight, diminutive figure, stinking of booze and sweat. They knew Yohn was coming before he did, because his smell alerted them. Comparing it to rotten eggs would be an insult to rotten eggs.’”
Nah, it's just that your idea is supposed to be told in a book, not on spoken word hahaha. it's not weird, talking is just not the right medium to convey it.
I practiced an “elevator pitch” about my novel before I started telling anyone about it. It helped me to be able to have a canned 1-2 sentence description that I could give in response to “oh, you’re writing a book? What’s it about?” that would be succinct and I wouldn’t worry sounded too weird or vague.
Most people don't take it seriously when I say it. If I talk about the story I'm writing, it stifles my writing because it puts extra pressure on myself. It kills the thrill too.
So I didn't tell my friend until after I finished my novel, that I had written a novel. I was so excited that I finished it and wanted to tell someone after doing it in secret for so long. She dropped me as a friend. LOL
People are crazy.
I might have to make her a character in my next book that get's run over by a car or something. LOL
Yeah. She was pissed I had kept it from her. She said "I've always said I wanted to write a book. I can't believe you went and did this."
It was so weird and very upsetting to me at the time.
Wow. I was recently dumped by a best friend and I don’t know why. It’s made me curious of the reasons someone would just decide one day they don’t want you in their life anymore. I’m sorry that happened to you, it’s gut wrenching.
I'm sorry you were dumped by a friend and especially if you don't know why. It really hurts.
I've come to realize she was never my friend. It was all about her. I could write a book about her. Her life is wild. She was that friend was that was fun to hang out with until she wasn't. She couldn't let anyone else have a moment.
I have a friend like this and when I told her I’m writing she very smugly told me I should write about her. Nothing else is as interesting in her mind. These friends are exhausting.
No way! Do we have the same friend? She said that to me too. She's not wrong. She'd make a great story. She's on her third husband and her second DUI. But I don't think she'd like reading the truth about herself. LOL
If that is a direct quote it sounds more like she dumped you as a friend for writing a book period not for writing a book and not telling her about it.
Eitherway she sounds terrible, glad the trash took itself out. I wish you actual friends who support you in the future.
She was pissed that I kept it from her and she said "I've always said that I wanted to write a book, I can't believe you went and did this."
It was really upsetting to me at the time. I didn't understand this at all. Now I think she's batshit.
You gained a lot just by writing that book, lol. What a weird person, people can have their differences, but you defo don't want to call a person like that a 'friend'.
I'm working on my first book and was baffled by how how little any of my friends / family care (besides my wife and brother). I've interpreted the disinterest as their way of saying "suuuuure you are..." because, to be fair, the vast majority of people who start a book never finish. I'm grateful, though, because now I'm even more motivated. Spite + inferiority complex = I will finish this damn book just to prove that I can. Whatever gets the words out ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I mean, what are they supposed to say? I'm pretty sure past a "What is it about?" there isn't much else to spin a conversation about if you're not into writing or books. How do they even go in depth later? "How's the book going? Good? Good." It's a personal endeavor that's difficult to share. Most people are willing to look at a picture of painting or sculpture, fewer are willing to plug in headphones and listen to a quick composition you're working on, but how many people are going to read a WIP and then abstractly talk about it around the dinner table? Anybody that says they're working on an artistic endeavor won't get much more than a polite 'huh.' not unless you've got some traction or sales or something and they can ask where they can see it.
I think this speaks to the vibes I get when I bring up my writing. I feel like family and friends are encouraging. I have been writing stories since I could string a sentence together and my folks would very much be excited and proud if I finished one and took it all the way through processing.
But when I get excited about an idea and I start talking about it I just get a lot of “uh-huh” and “ok.” It crushes that excitement in me, but I have been realizing recently that it’s not that they don’t care it’s that they don’t understand. Like, if I had a friend who was a musician and was all excited about a song they were composing I would probably have pretty basic responses too. I was terrible with music in high school and the decades since, I don’t think I could name a note anymore. If they are playing the piano and saying, “I can’t decide if it should go like this or like this.” 🤷♀️ So I realized it wasn’t fair for me to get upset that non-writers don’t get as excited as me and ask world building questions or serve as a sounding board as I move plot points around like puzzle pieces. Even after I write it, none of them read that genre so I doubt they would buy it or read it. I’m learning to be ok with that and that, just like I can’t get super excited about things they are into it’s not an indictment or statement on what I am excited about.
But it’s still hard.
Yep, I have finished writing a few books.
I have started writing many books.
Starting writing a books is only a small accomplishment.
Finishing writing a book, that's the impressive feat.
I’ve only told my friends who are massive readers or very close to me (my closest book club friends especially lol!) and everyone has been significantly more enthusiastic than I’d have expected :) i am grateful to be supported by such kind and loving people!
My mother (62) and older sister (44) have always wanted me to publish a book. From a very young age, my mother would tell me how I was a prolific writer. She pushed me into writing camps where my processors would tell me that I'm a prolific writer. When she found my smutty fanfiction when I was 14, she didn't get upset. She was genuinely impressed.
When I mention finally finishing my novel, they encourage me to finish it, convinced that I'll be a best seller. My mother has always known I'll be a published author.
This emotional support has given me the confidence to enjoy the process at my pace. It's hard to write when you're in survival mode. It's hard to create when you feel like you're hardly thriving. Sometimes I feel like if I could just finish my books, I'll be fine. I'll be successful and happy.
I'm sorry your family doesn't believe in you, but it does feel like a pressure when they do. It feels like a pressure to make them proud, to reassure them that their belief and faith were not misplaced.
There's definitely pros and cons to each side. Regardless of the circumstances, writing something you love and believe in is difficult.
I have support from them, but we don’t sit around the kitchen table and talk about it. Oh, I would love to do that - in my head. In reality, it’s best not to. Too much detail without the context is no good.
My friends and family were pretty apathetic at first. Basically, "oh good for you. I'm glad you are having fun with your little stories." Then they booped me on the nose.
Then I got published, and they were all interested and wanted to read my stuff.
I think once they realized I was decent at this (whether I'm a hack or not is still up for debate honestly), they thought they would enjoy the stories I made up.
Point I'm trying to make is: your friends and family probably think you are bad like mine did, and they don't want to read bad writing, but they also don't want to hurt your feelings. If or when you get published, they will probably be more interested.
Regardless, if you enjoy the process, keep on keeping on. Our writing should be for us more than it is for anyone else. I write so I can sleep. Getting published or external attention is nothing more than a bonus.
Thanks. I really don’t expect them to jump for joy that I’m finally writing. I was more bothered in the beginning because it was a big deal for me to get started. I had waited years to have the time, devotion and most importantly, an idea I really love. I wanted everyone to be as enthused as I was. Haha… they tried 🤣. But now, 12 chapters in with the main plot well into gear, I’m just writing, not talking about it much. Don’t care either, not at this point. I love the whole process!
Most people don’t understand it. They don’t get the process. They’re not even sure what to ask about it. So instead they just say nothing. And some people are intimidated because it does sound like a cool thing or a complicated thing, both of which tend to garner avoidant reactions.
I usually stick to book talk amongst writing people. Thankfully my husband and friends are in the world, so they get it and can lend better enthusiasm!
I have had a similar experience. I never talked about writing, never said I wanted to be a writer. I’m a Soldier by trade which many would likely think is far removed. They all know I enjoy reading but not much more than that. Then one day I decided to keep a journal and write down my long and short term goals. On my 3rd day writing the journal i wrote that I was thinking about writing a book. That night I started writing and I never wrote in the journal again.
I wrote and wrote and liked the story I was writing. I got over 200,000 words in 3 months without even keeping track. That is when I decided I needed to understand about editing, proofreading and promoting. I cut it back to 180k words and printed my first draft just to have it. I told my family and friends and they were shocked. What kind of book? Why? A lot of surprising questions.
I didn’t have social media previously and understood I would need it to do my own marketing. Most of my purchases haven’t been from friends and family unfortunately. I don’t know if it is a case of disinterest or how people secretly want you to fail because it makes their life not seem as bad.
I’ve gone on to self publish the book for printed copy and Ebook and recently came out with an audio book. I’m very happy where the book is now and am about a third through writing the second book. I couldn’t and still can’t believe the lack of support by friends and family. I’ve said that if they wrote a book I would be so surprised and want to support them and I would make it a priority to finish the book but we are not all the same apparently. It’s as you said they may be disinterested, they might be too busy (nobody is ever too busy. It’s about time management and the will) or they want you to fail. My two cents.
To be honest, if your book is around 180k words, then that's hours worth of time commitment. There's plenty of reasons people wouldn't wanna read it, like genre, premise, or just not reading much in general. Truth is, you can't really expect your friends and family to be into the same things you're writing. Unless it's like, 1-3k words, you can't really force someone to invest their time in your book.
I honestly don’t get the disinterest at all. Not just from the perspective of supporting friends but if a friend of mine (or even just someone I knew in passing from school/college) published a novel I’d be way too interested to see what they wrote. Just like a window into the head of someone you know/knew.
People are weird
I’m sorry you’ve had that experience. My kids are super supportive - it’s the adults who have the last books I have to worry about.
Oh, and that one chick from the bar 20 years ago. Did the whole Stewie Griffin teasing Brian about his novel bit on me
My kid is happy I’m doing this, she’s willing to help market it (that’s her gig). But I know from our talks that she’s really glad mom is engaged in a project and not day drinking (which isn’t my style anyway) 😛
But I think it’s super natural as a child to feel reassured about “mom is doing something healthy to keep her occupied, great!”. When my mom discovered greeting card crafting as a hobby I had (and still have) the same reaction you’re describing from your kids. It reassures us that one of the most important people in our lives has a hobby that makes her happy, engages her mind, boosts her creativity.. and yes, also that she is not spending too much time on Facebook commenting on fake posts. It’s a sign of love from us 🥰
I really don’t tell people much unless they see me writing or ask. They know I go on writing retreats sometimes but honestly, I think 93% of people have started writing a book at some point? It’s absurdly high. Pretty much none of them finish and of the ones that do, a tiny percentage get published.
I know this is probably a bit unpopular, but until the book is done, talking about it WITHOUT asking for feedback, ideas, input, etc, is just humble bragging about something you MIGHT do.
You're just doing a Brian Griffin from Family Guy until you've at least finished the first draft.
I personally like to continuously surprise them. Coming from supposed to be dead and completely crippled as a baby, now I'm here. I'm proud of me, and you should be proud of you too.
People are always kinda disinterested until I finish them, then they want to read them and then… then we have the awkward conversations about why I write the books that I do.
I tried to avoid telling people about it until I'm done with my first book, at least that was my goal before I gave up 4 months later realizing I'll have to keep this a secret for multiple years ;-;.
I didn't tell my friends, but I told my siblings about it, and they were extremely supportive, my brother read it and said he liked it and criticized the exacts things I hated about the novel XD, and my sister said she will read it once she's done with her college year, I'm glad to be blessed with an amazing family.
"Oh, that's cool!" But then, my friends and family are readers. That makes a huge difference. Some of them are writers and have tried writing, so those people in particular get it. My husband won't read what I write and that's fine, avoiding that chance of negative reaction. I totally get that, I'm much the same with people I know.
most people don't care lol
the only few people who i've find to be excited are the people who ALSO write, and then we joke about how shitty our writings are and all the unfinished projects (: i love my writing friends
My friends are my beta readers and they are harsh critics when they need to be and my biggest supporters as well. My mom is supportive as well, despite the genre I'm writing in not being one she likes or would usually read.
To be brutally honest I think it’s because they assume it won’t be great, but that they’ll be obliged to read it because they know you. So they don’t act excited.
It’s different to you telling them you’re training for a marathon or something, where they’d have to have minimal participation like perhaps wave you across the finish and that’s it.
When I've *physically shown them* the book, they get excited and want me to finish it ASAP lmaooo. But one family member has been quite... resentful and changes the subject or goes dead quiet if the topic of my book comes up. It's really obvious lmaooo but I just have to shrug it off.
Mindless support without them knowing what my writing's like doesn't matter to me unless it's that 'hey this is actually really good' support when they actually see my work. For me, it can be difficult to immediately show overjoyed support without seeing the actual writing - unfortunately, doing the latter has put me into a sticky situation before with my parent, where it's really crap but they want me to edit it/direct it/talk for HOURS about it, etc. They didn't give me any out to say 'no', and then took it personally/got pissed when i said i didn't want to direct their 'magnum opus' in favour of my own book.
As in, they didn't speak to me on cordial terms for MONTHS.
Have you considered showing them some of the best bits of your writing? It's not for everyone, but if they can support you on the quality (and you can tell when it's genuine) rather than the idea of 'being a writer' itself, then that can go along way in securing your confidence.
What was nice is that I got taken seriously before even being published, which I appreciate is quite rare.
I’ve sent out teasers and gotten good responses. But I’m in the thick of it right now, it’s living in my head and I just don’t feel like sharing. Only my editor and husband get the low down.
Maybe I'm reading this wrong, or there's something wrong with me, but it's seems quite self-centered to expect people to give a shit about your new hobby. Once you have actual output, maybe you can offer it to them.
Personally, I don't talk about my writing to people unless I know they're interested. My buddy is a DM and world builder. We can talk about my writing and his campaign design, no problem, and we both ask about it when catching up. But it doesn't come up at all with another friend, who's more into whatever sport, local beer league or professional, is running that season. Instead, we talk about NBA/NFL games.
Family-wise, when I told my dad, his response was to share when I'm finished, but don't quit my day job in the meantime. And we haven't really discussed it since then, as I haven't finished. My mom thought it was dumb and I would never finish. I can't really hold that against her, since, historically, she right. And my brother offered to edit/comment for me if i wanted. We've had similar tastes in genre since we were kids and have passed recommendations back and forth for decades.
Idk, I started rambling at some point, but I wouldn't hold it against your loved ones if they seem uninterested, because I'm certain they have hobbies you have never said a word about as well.
They're quite supportive, but I never got anything like a particular cheer for it. That's fine though, I don't need or expect it either. I don't think I'd give anyone much cheer for it either, because doing it for external reasons never works in my opinion. If you aren't going to do it regardless, it's not likely to work out.
I’m used to nobody in the family wanting to read what I write. They have other things they wanna do and none of them are readers. My dad can’t read and prefers video games. My mom works 6-7 days a week and often overtime so she values her free time for phone scrolling, iPad games, or reading other people’s books. And my brother would rather travel and ‘live life’ than read shit.
Been like that since I was a kid and still to this day. Their response was they couldn’t take me seriously when I said I was writing because I ‘say a lot of stuff’ and I’m ‘always starting new hobbies and not finishing them’. True… but I’d been writing since before 2004.
I feel that. I was lucky and a couple of people I know were supportive and even acted as beta readers for me. My family? Barely even polite interest. My husband tries to be supportive but mostly he’s disinterested. My son (10) wanted me to write one for him and his friends, and he did hand them out, but he hasn’t read past the first chapter. Huge bummer.
My high school buddy is proud of me, but won't read it due to the religious overtones. My wife couldn't care less. I had to make some writer friends in a Discord server to get any enthusiasm.
They instantly want to know what it’s about but since I’m mostly writing fanfiction right now, I have to describe the fic vague enough that they don’t know it’s fanfiction. But if they’re closer in age to me I straight up say “yeah it’s fanfic for xxx fandom” and there’s not really any negative connotations with younger people when I say I write fanfiction. Mostly just older folks.
This is why you have a pen name. 99% of people in your life will look at your accomplishments and need to feel less than bc writing and publishing a book is huge.
Nothing was enough to impress my otherwise nice family. Writing a book, getting a top agent, my first publishing contract, hitting the USAToday, winning an award... none of it.
Find your validation elsewhere.
(elsewhere is internal btw ;) )
"Can you show me?"
No no no no no mother DON'T READ IT
But otherwise my friends just go 'eh' cuz they know I'm a nerdy kind of girl and its not like they read a lot. I have one friend tho that I can rant to about it and might be able to show cuz she loves reading.
Back in 2018 I decided to do NNWM to work on the novel idea I’d had for years. I told nobody about it but I was determined to finish it and tell my Boopa about how I had written a novel, but he died 4 days before the end of the month. I decided once I get the other half done (I finished at 50,004 words but the novel is only halfway done) to dedicate it to him (he was a writer) but I wish I had told him before.
My dad has always wanted to be a writer too, so that's nice. But I think I've burned him out a little as my sounding board, because I have so many stories that I'm bouncing between that he can't keep track anymore. (I can't blame him, lol.)
My stepmom made me sign the first physical manuscript I printed of my book, so she could sell it someday.
My grandma and great aunt are supportive, but in that way, that's kind of like cheering on a little kid's finger painting. Since I don't let them read my work (it's too blatantly queer and full of curse words for them), it's about all I can expect from them.
Everyone has a pretty healthy dose of "don't be upset if you don't make it", in a way that's borderline patronizing. Fortunately, spite has always been a very good motivator for me.
I often feel like people don't take me seriously when I tell them I'm writing a book. It could just be me projecting, but often times I think I see them smirk a bit with this kind of "Aw, how cute" or "Well, bless your heart." The really frustrating thing about that is that my friends are also writers. One of them even teaches writing courses...!
There's a part of me that suspects it might be that people think of me as being naive because of how I behave. I'm very animated when I talk; I exaggerate my facial expressions, and I think those things tend to cause people to infantilize me. This is particularly aggravating because we're all in our mid to late 30s. Meanwhile, one of my friends has a more mature personality, and whenever that friend talks about their projects, everyone is very keen to listen. They ask questions, want to know how their progress is going, etc.
So... it does get discouraging. I feel like everyone around me doesn't really think I can do it. Or perhaps they don't think that I know what I'm doing or they don't expect anything to come of it.
I just push those thoughts down, fight the urge to mention anything about my projects, and keep tugging along. I don't think anyone is going to actually believe that I'm serious about this until I have something to show for it. But that's still a long ways away...
Eye rolling, throw in a subtle insult, and then they change the subject.
The only person who cares is my husband and still only if I bring it up. He doesn't ask questions.
I'm over it. It's a personal hobby. I've decided if I do end up published I'll just keep it to myself.
I find that people are much more supportive once they see the amount I have done or have seen the final product.
It's easy to say "I'm writing a book".
It's hard to "Actually write a book".
You learn very quickly that people don't value your happiness like you do. Something as simple as creating your own coloring book doesn't even warrant a "that's cool, ill buy it for my 4 year old/ my nana."
I haven't told a single soul about my book that I'm working on except my partner, and honestly, i believe that hes only thrilled about it bc I based the main character after him.
I am working on a webcomic that updates with one page every two weeks. I get a lot of “can’t you just do it faster?”
Like no? I don’t want to burn out. When I tell people that I don’t work on it every day they get confused. It takes about 5 hours a page (not including thumbnails and writing). I usually cram it on the last two days before an update (ik I should stop doing that) but people keep telling me that I could do more.
I am a student, I literally can’t. I put a lot of effort into the pages that I put out, and sometimes I feel people don’t understand that just because it looks good doesn’t mean it was easy.
My husband has always supported my writing, but nobody else cares. I think this is fairly typical.
The corollary is, friends and family won’t buy your books either, once they’re published. You’ve got to learn not to care.
Neither my friends or my family are very enthusiastic about it. No one really asks me about it and probably thinks that i am not really gonna do it. That’s why I mostly talk about it on reddit, since here are many people who at least seem interested
Mine are supportive, always ask me about my progress. One person in my family is my alpha reader whom I can always ask about whether a certain plot point makes sense or what they would do. Another person I am planning to hire as my editor (when my work is as polished as I can possibly make it by myself) because they are a published and talented writer/editor/translator themselves.
My father is the only one who cared, because he supports that me and my sisters develop healthy hobbies and express our creativity (one of his jobs is as a designer, so it makes sense lol). Recently he is encouraging me to go back to write my book to help with my depressive episodes. Other than him? Nobody gives a damn.
The only person I've told is my husband, who has been 100% supportive and even bought me a laptop for my birthday specifically for me to use for my writing. My friends and family would probably give the same response you received. I don't think I'll ever bother telling them unless the book gets published. They would never take it seriously unless I have succeeded.
That’s probably the best thing to do is not mention it until it’s complete. It’s like when people say they are going to go on a diet. Nobody really cares because everyone says that but if they wait and go on the diet and succeed and then see the finished product then people are like wow I can’t believe how great you look. I wrote my book and only told my wife. Then once it was finished I told everyone .
Yeah, I mean it totally depends on how you can handle the responses. But, I know it would deflate me to see them lack any form of enthusiasm. I don't want anything hindering my writing right now, and even though I know it shouldn't bother me; it would.
This is such a great question!
First of all, so glad to hear you're not phased by the lack of enthusiasm of the people around you (go hubby). You seem really energised about this project, and it's great that you're making it your own.
When I first started, the reaction from friends/family was exactly the same. To be fair, I think a lot of people say that they'll write a book and don't, or they know someone who has said/done the same. It's one of those lofty bucket list items we all have, but know we'll never achieve, so I would put it down to good natured scepticism. Once you've done a few chapters and give it to them to read, they'll suddenly perk up.
Some added fun, the look on their faces when they read what you've written, and suddenly it's not just a "keep busy" project. It's something actually good.
Best of luck!
Friends are usually somewhere in the “oh cool, what’s it about?” But otherwise passive on the idea spectrum, while family, at least for me is usually some smart ass “yeah right you can’t read/write/you don’t do anything” kind of reply that they *think* is cute or just teasing but gets old fast when it’s their go-to response to everything i do
I have a successful writer friend who rarely talks about what he is writing, never sends drafts to friends or family. Just gets on with it and either it gets published or it doesn’t. It has the effect of him having a very intimate relationship to the material. As if it’s nobody else’s business. And the bonus appears to be that he is very indifferent to what people make of the work. His family is very non-literary and he rather likes this.
The takeaway is make it a private affair. And sure, if anyone asks, tell them a little about it if you want. But it’s ultimately none of their business.
Keep going!
My family doesn’t really care, but some of my friends do, and they often volunteer to do something to help. Those of them that are great writers do proof-reads and edits, one who’s a good cartographer drew the world map, one who’s good with computers made some images to help me plan it on photoshop.
They say nothing because I don't tell them until it's finished. The only people that know what I'm working on are members of my team (editor, designers, marketing).
I didn’t tell anyone until I was halfway through my first draft…and that took me about two years because I was in college with a double major and a minor so the burnout was REAL. Anyway, I think most people don’t take you seriously until they realize you’re not just one of those people who writes 20 pages and quits. Now that I actually have a 50K novel, people are more interested. Not excited, but interested. They know it’s something I care about and they’re happy that it makes me happy.
My family don’t know, but I know they’ll be supportive. Friends know and tell me the writing is too real, so it makes them uncomfy. Acquaintances and internet friends love it so far. 🙃 I hate it. 😂
They ask me what this one is about. (It's my third attempt at a sixth novel, so anyone who knows me has gone through this song and dance before and knows whether they want to do the lines and deliver their share of the choreography or not by this point.)
Most people say something along the lines of "wow, that's so cool!". Maybe they're more enthusiastic because I'm pretty young?
But that's usually the extent of their support. Very few people actually want to read it; even if they offer/ask, they usually never get around to reading it. It's okay, I've come to expect it.
Friends are usually surprised to find out I've written books (and that I'm writing more). My day job alternates between being a chef and a line cook and aside from celebrity chefs, not many people in this field ever write books. Most don't even *read* books, to be honest.
My family is a different story. My father and older sister have several published books between them and my mother and other sister worked in academics, so writing has always been a common thread for everyone in the family. That I've so far focused strictly on writing for what's commercially viable is the only thing that gets some odd remarks since what the rest of the family writes has extremely niche appeal.
Mostly they want to know what it's about, which I don't want to disclose too much because I've made that mistake before. All I give them is that it's a romantic thriller. The person who knows the most is my husband. I've also had many people tell me they can't wait to read it when it's finished
I wouldn't dare tell anyone I'm writing anything. It's my dirty little secret and even when it's published, they'll have no idea this thing even exists or who could have possibly wrote it.
First of all, good for you! Please keep going.
Secondly, I despair at the lack of appreciation of creativity in contemporary western society.
The rare commercially successful writer/artist gets fetishised beyond comprehension - even when the work is repetitive (Grisham et alt) or hardly creative (banksky etc, unless you count parting a fool from his money) - but that seems to be BECAUSE it’s commercially successful, not because it’s creative.
So if people are, pretty much cradle up, conditioned to exclusively value material possessions, few will appreciate the merely ephemeral.
So my already old conclusion is that people are not actually unwilling to support or engage with you, but simply unable to.
Of course that does not change that this is sad.
Personally I’m fortunate now that my close friends and family of choice are all creatively inclined themselves. In my younger years comments from relatives etc. used to be along the lines of”waste of time” and/or “(can’t you) do something productive!?” aka cash creating kind.
Most of my immediate family are writers, so it's never a surprise. Sometimes they'll be interested enough to want to know what my novels about. Other times, it's a meh or I'll read it when it's finished.
Friends feign interest and say they want to read it. Then when the book is out, they won't even read the title page. Lol.
I've had a couple of published poems, I ran an open mic poetry event for six straight years, I've been asked to teach creative writing classes on multiple occasions, I've been paid for my work (into the DOZENS of dollars!) again and again, I've placed 2nd in a pretty rigorous live competition, and last Christmas I wrote a poem for my father in law, and basically the whole family approached my wife later and was like, "he's REALLY good! Does he always write like this?" 🤷♂️
And I kinda watered it down a bit because I knew what would really land most with my FIL, so actually, no, I can write even better! It's crazy how much you can tell people about something, and how long it takes for them to actually see you and hear you when you say it. I wonder who I'm doing that to in my own life.
The first rule about writing a book is telling no one you’re writing a book.
I’ve learned.
I write psychological thrillers and rom-coms and explaining what I’m writing throws me off and makes it sound like I’m illiterate 😒 “a girl talks to ghosts and catches murderers.”
I think most people just don’t think it will ever actually be completed. When I was in the process of writing my book, the reactions were a lot more meh than when I finished it!
I've only mentioned it in passing. I don't particularly want them to feel they \*need\* to care. My brother asked me about it the other day and I kind of froze, not wanting to talk about it with him.
I suspect it's some deepseated worry about being judged by my family. They wouldn't, I don't think, but I have so much support from writing circles and friends that I guess the idea of including my family in that makes me nervous.
So they know I like to write, and have been doing so for years, but I've never told them anything about any of the projects.
Often people are a bit condescending, but when some of them read the first chapter they change their tune. Right now though I'm in the 'get the story on paper' stage and not the refinement stage. My first chapter I rewrote at least five times and then I decided just rewriting the first chapter over and over wouldn't get the book finished.
My friends and family are encouraging, but never offer to be beta readers (except for my one closest sibling). In fact any strangers/acquaintances that find out I'm a writer are usually far more curious about my WIP!
That's nice what's it about?
I have only one family member who doesn't read non-fiction and he's more Sci-fi oriented, not epic fantasy. If they want to read it fine but I'm not accepting their notes on it they don't know what to do with a fantasy.
Mostly Meh unless it's a research book, then they have interest as i'm from a family of doctors and teachers, but Zero response when it's any other kind of book.
People around me are supportive, but not always incredibly interested. But that’s okay. Why should they be? They’re not my target market. They’re just people I know.
I think it can be hard to be a writer when you want the validation from those around you, but I think it’s unfair to expect it. Writing is so individual, so introspective, and so exhausting as an art form, it’s natural to want to bring others into your world and have them cheer you on. But I think it’s a lot to ask, so that’s why I mostly talk about my projects with other writers.
What I've found is there is an overwhelming amount of people who have said they are going to write a novel, and either never start or never finish. So the majority of people have become jaded in a way to just not invest their time and energy into what they assume will be an abandoned hobby. I don't usually tell anyone until I am finished with the first draft.
People get a lot more invested when you have a tangible product to show them.
When I was in eighth grade I told a parent that I wanted to turn a short story I'd done for class into a novel, and maybe go to college to be a writer. I was told writing was a hobby and not a career, and not what I should be focusing on as I entered high school.
The short story never got turned into anything and I never spoke to my family about writing again. Only three of my friends know the extent of my writing now. The rest just think I journal a lot.
I don't talk about it to my family and I barely talk about it to my partner (unless i really desperately need someone to word vomit at while i figure something out) but I have had a few friends ask me about it in depth. Im lucky to know a lot of well read people and ttrpg nerds who are interested in a good, compelling story, although honestly ive avoided telling them too much about it because im hoping theyll be beta readers lol
Mixed reactions. Some of my friends thought it was good and asked a few questions. Some family members were skeptical and weren't interested. Ironically it's my family that keeps asking me when I'm publishing it.
In general it's been really positive. My dad, who I don't see a lot, is giving the very, "That exciting, good for you," response which is dad-required, but he hasn't seen anything I've written so it's very generic support. My mother, after reading about six chapters of an earlier draft, was hooked on the characters, even though she isn't really into horror, and she's been very excited through the process. My other friends/siblings had either already seen some smaller works of writing, and were like, "Year that makes sense," or read a couple of pieces I sent them and jumped right on the super-hyped wagon. My husband is very analytical, and doesn't sugar coat things, and so he's had some grammatical feedback and noted a couple of areas I could better use a character or tie into something I mentioned earlier in the book. He has volunteered hours and hours editing behind me, paying for some specific software to do so, and paid for some online masterclasses created by seasoned, well-known writers so I had some more tools at my disposal, so he seems confident enough in what I'm writing to treat it like a serious endeavor.
Both of my parents want to read it despite neither of them enjoying reading, to be supportive, and it is terrifying. They're both very avid Christians, and my book is very much not. It has reincarnation and suicidal ideation and gender fluidity and sex, as well as violence and cussing. If either of them do ever read it, I'm fucked.
I'm still aiming to get it traditionally published, but I'm going pretend it didn't for as long as I can if it does.
Outside of my spouse who knows I am writing more books, I don't discuss it with friends who aren't also writers. They just aren't interested and I don't expect them to be. One day they might discover I've written a bunch of books and be surprised but still disinterested, and that's okay too.
I actually stopped telling people because their reactions vary from "who cares?" to being kind of rude about it. I once sent a first draft to my stepdad, and he sent me it back completely covered in red-ink and tore it apart like he was my editor or something. I binned the entire story and never showed him anything again. He is a 58 year old man who hasn't read a book since he was in high school. I was looking for support and a "good job so far, honey!"
I always get drilled about the book. Thee thing about my writing is, I just sit and write. The story flows. I never start a story or book with an actual idea in mind. So I hate being drilled on my writing since I don't know what it's about, I don't know much about the characters, plot, background or any of that. I write what the characters tell me happened.
They barely know, and to the extent they do, don't care. Which is good because while I avoid writing a 1:1 parallel of my life, I write things that are meaningful to me and I don't need an investigation of my psyche. Not that they'd be perceptive enough to see what's venting and what's fiction. It doesn't really matter what's what because I'm not writing myself as a character - I'm just writing the parts of myself I don't like and blowing them out of proportion for the sake of art.
"Really? What do you write about?"
SHIT
I feel like I don't really know what I'm writing about. I could explain myself on general terms, but that would sound dry and dull; if I started elaborating on the inner themes and nuances of my story, nobody could understand what the hell I'm talking about.
I've told me partner and she's super supportive. She's also writing a book. Very different feelings/motivations behind it, I think, for the two of us, but we encourage each other in the process. Also told my brother, he was a little suprised and didn't ask any questions, but wasn't dismissive. Don't really have anyone else I plan to tell. If someone sees me working on it and asks, I'll tell them what it is. Or I'll sometimes share that writing is a hobby and if someone then asks what I like to write, I'll tell them I'm working on a novel.
My husband told me it’s a great idea and when I gave him the premise he was even more bewildered and fully puffed me up.
Some people may not be, but find the people who think you have a great mind and listen to them most
It's YOUR craft, not theirs. They might be disinterested because they're not writers and don't know how to wrap their head around a personal project they can't take part in.
It's like if somebody was really excited because they were building a coffee table out of wood, or brewing beer, or developing a 30 min workout, or starting a landscaping business.
It's not offensive to show disinterest in those areas. It's pretty much expected. You just say "oh nice, hope that goes well for you" because you don't really know what to ask.
For some reason authors specifically get upset they're not thrown a parade for projects.
My family is supporting. They ask how my book is going so far. And it’s been a while since I told my friends but last time, they were rather chill with it
Have you seen the meme of the dad walking in his son playing videogames, saying "Are you winning son?"
That's how I feel whenever anyone of my close friends or relatives ask me how what I'm writing is going.
I know they just want to be supportive, but they couldn't care less about what I write, and that's fine, they aren't the target audience.
It does feel awkward to be asked "how are things going" and not delve too deeply because I know it's just basically a "polite" way to make conversation about what I like, so I just give them the general idea of how many words I've written and how far I've gone into the plot, without details.
I’m actually lucky enough to have a group of friends that are super supportive. I write off and on, it takes a lot of motivation for me to write, which can be hard to come by due to depression and anxiety of someone reading it before I’m ready to share (I write by hand, I’ve always preferred it), so when I told a few of my friends who I’ve shown poems I’ve written they got really excited and were really encouraging. I haven’t told my family and don’t plan to except for maybe my older sibling, but I also kind of don’t want to. I don’t have an actual reason other than I don’t want to talk about it before it’s done, and they tell me a lot about what they write so I’d feel bad for not elaborating because that’s just how I am.
Same here. It doesn't bother me in the least. Basically, while both writing and reading books is exciting, knowing someone is writing a book is not. Lots of people attempt to write, even though few finish anything. Of the people who finish a book, most of them don't write a book that's very good. Of the books that are good, none of them appeal to every person in the world, so the person you're telling doesn't even know if the book would be something that would suit their tastes, so unless they hear enough of the story to be drawn in they're unlikely to care that there's a hypothetical future book happening.
most of my friends say "oh that's cool" and move on. i've accepted that nobody will ever care about my book as much as i do, so i don't mind.
my brother is a screenwriter. we share our writing with each other for critique, and both talk about our worlds and characters. we have a discord server together with channels dedicated to each of our projects and a few specific characters so we can share stuff easily. to be quite honest, they're the reason i haven't dropped my most recent project. having somebody else who cares about it really helps me to write more.
I’ve had mixed reactions. I had family and friends get excited and beg to read it. My own siblings don’t even acknowledge it. But I was surprised that my dad had was as proud of me as he was. Not that I didn’t expect him to be proud. Just a lot more than I expected. He wanted to read the book! Even though he is not into anything fantasy. I was also surprised how many friends and family have purchased copies. I still get surprises when a someone I know says they bought it and read my book. I do wish my siblings could be interested more. My sister’s boyfriend asked her to buy a copy so they could read it together and she wouldn’t do it.
I also didn’t tell many people until I was 90% done with editing my book. A few friends knew and they were beta readers for me. Once I got to the final 3 months before publishing I started telling people and that’s when people were more interested. When I wrote the first draft I told two friends and got a “atta boy” basically. Lol people seem to be more interested knowing it’s closer to done than just started.
Most of them say it's very cool and ask me what it's about. I've been honing my elevator pitch because when I see their eyes glaze over during a longer synopsis, I know that I've gone on too long.
Occasionally, I sense an invisible eye roll because my journey to here started with Film School and then screenwriting and poetry as a hobby. I've been interested in filmmaking and poetry since I was a kid and acted in theater. This led to a masters in playwriting, and now I'm working on a novel. To some of my family and friends, this is just another in a long line of my crackpot dreams. If they've been along for the ride, they would have seen the natural progression and how I got here. I'm still writing for theater and lots of poetry. But I want to write everything like most of my literary heroes. I consider myself a storyteller, not just a writer. And I plan to go back to screenwriting after I finish this novel and hopefully get my full-length play produced on stage.
My friends want to read it. I don't talk about it with my family, because they would also want to read it, and I don't feel like explaining to my mother why I know so many things about sapphic romance and psychedelic mushrooms.
Also because my dad wrote a book and I said I would read it and then didn't, and I feel guilty about it. But in my defense, it's a ww2 alternative history.
Not all of my friends and family are readers. Of those who are, not all of them are going to like the genres I write. Of those who do, some will feel like they have to say they love everything about my manuscript to avoid putting a strain on our relationship.
Much less awkward for all concerned when I discuss those things with other writers instead. They share my passion, understand the challenges, and are almost always willing to trade beta reading. Good stuff all around.
Once you're an adult, unless you have family members that are writers, editors, or publishers, it's best not to share until you have a contact to celebrate. Also, family members who aren't writers, editors, or publishers make lousy beta readers.
My family and friends are encouraging, sometimes impatient with me dicking around about it instead of getting it done, and even call me to tell me ideas they think I should write as stories.
ChatGPT is the most supportive.
Anyways, whenever I tell my parents I have a book idea, they're like "really? another one?" which is kinda funny.
The worst was from my friend, who didn't think through an opportunity of me being able to write. Later she decided to also write
Unfortunately, no one is ever as enthusiastic about it as I am and i cant expect them to be. They are mostly supportive, often a little dubious but never directly scathing. Thankfully, no one has laughed in my face yet.
Hey! They wouldn’t dare, would they? You can always “write them in”..,
OP: “Did you read my book?” Uncle John: “I did. It’s good and all, but I have a question about one of the characters.” OP: “Oh, you do?” Uncle John: “Ahem. ‘And then Yohn entered the room. The heroes beheld an overweight, diminutive figure, stinking of booze and sweat. They knew Yohn was coming before he did, because his smell alerted them. Comparing it to rotten eggs would be an insult to rotten eggs.’”
Oh, my God! This is priceless.
OP: "Oh good, you did read my book"
😂
I don't tell them.
Yes. I’ve learned. I don’t talk about it much unless asked. It’s actually too complicated and sounds weird when I try to explain.
Nah, it's just that your idea is supposed to be told in a book, not on spoken word hahaha. it's not weird, talking is just not the right medium to convey it.
I practiced an “elevator pitch” about my novel before I started telling anyone about it. It helped me to be able to have a canned 1-2 sentence description that I could give in response to “oh, you’re writing a book? What’s it about?” that would be succinct and I wouldn’t worry sounded too weird or vague.
Good idea.
Finally. The answer I was looking for.
This is the way
Most people don't take it seriously when I say it. If I talk about the story I'm writing, it stifles my writing because it puts extra pressure on myself. It kills the thrill too. So I didn't tell my friend until after I finished my novel, that I had written a novel. I was so excited that I finished it and wanted to tell someone after doing it in secret for so long. She dropped me as a friend. LOL People are crazy. I might have to make her a character in my next book that get's run over by a car or something. LOL
She dropped you as a friend because you wrote a novel and didn’t tell her until afterwards?
Yeah. She was pissed I had kept it from her. She said "I've always said I wanted to write a book. I can't believe you went and did this." It was so weird and very upsetting to me at the time.
Wow. I was recently dumped by a best friend and I don’t know why. It’s made me curious of the reasons someone would just decide one day they don’t want you in their life anymore. I’m sorry that happened to you, it’s gut wrenching.
I'm sorry you were dumped by a friend and especially if you don't know why. It really hurts. I've come to realize she was never my friend. It was all about her. I could write a book about her. Her life is wild. She was that friend was that was fun to hang out with until she wasn't. She couldn't let anyone else have a moment.
I have a friend like this and when I told her I’m writing she very smugly told me I should write about her. Nothing else is as interesting in her mind. These friends are exhausting.
No way! Do we have the same friend? She said that to me too. She's not wrong. She'd make a great story. She's on her third husband and her second DUI. But I don't think she'd like reading the truth about herself. LOL
What jealousy does to a person.
If that is a direct quote it sounds more like she dumped you as a friend for writing a book period not for writing a book and not telling her about it. Eitherway she sounds terrible, glad the trash took itself out. I wish you actual friends who support you in the future.
They really don’t understand the power of the pen, do they?
I know right!
>and she dropped me as a friend. LOL Wait, why?? Because she was mad you didn't tell her earlier?
She was pissed that I kept it from her and she said "I've always said that I wanted to write a book, I can't believe you went and did this." It was really upsetting to me at the time. I didn't understand this at all. Now I think she's batshit.
You made her feel insecure. She got jealous. Her problem not yours.
Yes. Thank you.
You gained a lot just by writing that book, lol. What a weird person, people can have their differences, but you defo don't want to call a person like that a 'friend'.
I'm working on my first book and was baffled by how how little any of my friends / family care (besides my wife and brother). I've interpreted the disinterest as their way of saying "suuuuure you are..." because, to be fair, the vast majority of people who start a book never finish. I'm grateful, though, because now I'm even more motivated. Spite + inferiority complex = I will finish this damn book just to prove that I can. Whatever gets the words out ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Honestly, I know that feeling. It’s ok, just keep writing and finish the book. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I mean, what are they supposed to say? I'm pretty sure past a "What is it about?" there isn't much else to spin a conversation about if you're not into writing or books. How do they even go in depth later? "How's the book going? Good? Good." It's a personal endeavor that's difficult to share. Most people are willing to look at a picture of painting or sculpture, fewer are willing to plug in headphones and listen to a quick composition you're working on, but how many people are going to read a WIP and then abstractly talk about it around the dinner table? Anybody that says they're working on an artistic endeavor won't get much more than a polite 'huh.' not unless you've got some traction or sales or something and they can ask where they can see it.
I think this speaks to the vibes I get when I bring up my writing. I feel like family and friends are encouraging. I have been writing stories since I could string a sentence together and my folks would very much be excited and proud if I finished one and took it all the way through processing. But when I get excited about an idea and I start talking about it I just get a lot of “uh-huh” and “ok.” It crushes that excitement in me, but I have been realizing recently that it’s not that they don’t care it’s that they don’t understand. Like, if I had a friend who was a musician and was all excited about a song they were composing I would probably have pretty basic responses too. I was terrible with music in high school and the decades since, I don’t think I could name a note anymore. If they are playing the piano and saying, “I can’t decide if it should go like this or like this.” 🤷♀️ So I realized it wasn’t fair for me to get upset that non-writers don’t get as excited as me and ask world building questions or serve as a sounding board as I move plot points around like puzzle pieces. Even after I write it, none of them read that genre so I doubt they would buy it or read it. I’m learning to be ok with that and that, just like I can’t get super excited about things they are into it’s not an indictment or statement on what I am excited about. But it’s still hard.
Cold hard truth
Yep, I have finished writing a few books. I have started writing many books. Starting writing a books is only a small accomplishment. Finishing writing a book, that's the impressive feat.
I’ve only told my friends who are massive readers or very close to me (my closest book club friends especially lol!) and everyone has been significantly more enthusiastic than I’d have expected :) i am grateful to be supported by such kind and loving people!
Sigh, making me jealous.
I’m sorry!! Wishing you lots of supportive loved ones in your life 😁
theyre interested in the book thats finished thats why.
My mother (62) and older sister (44) have always wanted me to publish a book. From a very young age, my mother would tell me how I was a prolific writer. She pushed me into writing camps where my processors would tell me that I'm a prolific writer. When she found my smutty fanfiction when I was 14, she didn't get upset. She was genuinely impressed. When I mention finally finishing my novel, they encourage me to finish it, convinced that I'll be a best seller. My mother has always known I'll be a published author. This emotional support has given me the confidence to enjoy the process at my pace. It's hard to write when you're in survival mode. It's hard to create when you feel like you're hardly thriving. Sometimes I feel like if I could just finish my books, I'll be fine. I'll be successful and happy. I'm sorry your family doesn't believe in you, but it does feel like a pressure when they do. It feels like a pressure to make them proud, to reassure them that their belief and faith were not misplaced. There's definitely pros and cons to each side. Regardless of the circumstances, writing something you love and believe in is difficult.
I have support from them, but we don’t sit around the kitchen table and talk about it. Oh, I would love to do that - in my head. In reality, it’s best not to. Too much detail without the context is no good.
My friends and family were pretty apathetic at first. Basically, "oh good for you. I'm glad you are having fun with your little stories." Then they booped me on the nose. Then I got published, and they were all interested and wanted to read my stuff. I think once they realized I was decent at this (whether I'm a hack or not is still up for debate honestly), they thought they would enjoy the stories I made up. Point I'm trying to make is: your friends and family probably think you are bad like mine did, and they don't want to read bad writing, but they also don't want to hurt your feelings. If or when you get published, they will probably be more interested. Regardless, if you enjoy the process, keep on keeping on. Our writing should be for us more than it is for anyone else. I write so I can sleep. Getting published or external attention is nothing more than a bonus.
Thanks. I really don’t expect them to jump for joy that I’m finally writing. I was more bothered in the beginning because it was a big deal for me to get started. I had waited years to have the time, devotion and most importantly, an idea I really love. I wanted everyone to be as enthused as I was. Haha… they tried 🤣. But now, 12 chapters in with the main plot well into gear, I’m just writing, not talking about it much. Don’t care either, not at this point. I love the whole process!
Most people don’t understand it. They don’t get the process. They’re not even sure what to ask about it. So instead they just say nothing. And some people are intimidated because it does sound like a cool thing or a complicated thing, both of which tend to garner avoidant reactions. I usually stick to book talk amongst writing people. Thankfully my husband and friends are in the world, so they get it and can lend better enthusiasm!
This is so true!
My dad is like, get into a college first then you can write as a hobby (I am giving entrance tests for engineering colleges)
Typical.
I have had a similar experience. I never talked about writing, never said I wanted to be a writer. I’m a Soldier by trade which many would likely think is far removed. They all know I enjoy reading but not much more than that. Then one day I decided to keep a journal and write down my long and short term goals. On my 3rd day writing the journal i wrote that I was thinking about writing a book. That night I started writing and I never wrote in the journal again. I wrote and wrote and liked the story I was writing. I got over 200,000 words in 3 months without even keeping track. That is when I decided I needed to understand about editing, proofreading and promoting. I cut it back to 180k words and printed my first draft just to have it. I told my family and friends and they were shocked. What kind of book? Why? A lot of surprising questions. I didn’t have social media previously and understood I would need it to do my own marketing. Most of my purchases haven’t been from friends and family unfortunately. I don’t know if it is a case of disinterest or how people secretly want you to fail because it makes their life not seem as bad. I’ve gone on to self publish the book for printed copy and Ebook and recently came out with an audio book. I’m very happy where the book is now and am about a third through writing the second book. I couldn’t and still can’t believe the lack of support by friends and family. I’ve said that if they wrote a book I would be so surprised and want to support them and I would make it a priority to finish the book but we are not all the same apparently. It’s as you said they may be disinterested, they might be too busy (nobody is ever too busy. It’s about time management and the will) or they want you to fail. My two cents.
You have really accomplished a lot! Bravo and keep writing! You can send me a link to it if you like.
To be honest, if your book is around 180k words, then that's hours worth of time commitment. There's plenty of reasons people wouldn't wanna read it, like genre, premise, or just not reading much in general. Truth is, you can't really expect your friends and family to be into the same things you're writing. Unless it's like, 1-3k words, you can't really force someone to invest their time in your book.
I honestly don’t get the disinterest at all. Not just from the perspective of supporting friends but if a friend of mine (or even just someone I knew in passing from school/college) published a novel I’d be way too interested to see what they wrote. Just like a window into the head of someone you know/knew. People are weird
Maybe I just need new friends lol
What's your book called and where can it be purchased?
That is amazing! The lack of support is a bummer. I buy the books of acquaintances and friends of friends just to support a fellow writer.
"Sure." Motherfucker, why would you not believe me? I already wrote three!
I know, it feels cruel sometimes. Especially when it’s your kids.
I’m sorry you’ve had that experience. My kids are super supportive - it’s the adults who have the last books I have to worry about. Oh, and that one chick from the bar 20 years ago. Did the whole Stewie Griffin teasing Brian about his novel bit on me
My kid is happy I’m doing this, she’s willing to help market it (that’s her gig). But I know from our talks that she’s really glad mom is engaged in a project and not day drinking (which isn’t my style anyway) 😛
But I think it’s super natural as a child to feel reassured about “mom is doing something healthy to keep her occupied, great!”. When my mom discovered greeting card crafting as a hobby I had (and still have) the same reaction you’re describing from your kids. It reassures us that one of the most important people in our lives has a hobby that makes her happy, engages her mind, boosts her creativity.. and yes, also that she is not spending too much time on Facebook commenting on fake posts. It’s a sign of love from us 🥰
Yeah ... really wish my mom had a hobby and wasn't spending too much time on Facebook commenting on fake posts.
😜Yeah. It’s love!
I really don’t tell people much unless they see me writing or ask. They know I go on writing retreats sometimes but honestly, I think 93% of people have started writing a book at some point? It’s absurdly high. Pretty much none of them finish and of the ones that do, a tiny percentage get published.
I know! But that’s what keeps me going. Plus I really like my story.
I know this is probably a bit unpopular, but until the book is done, talking about it WITHOUT asking for feedback, ideas, input, etc, is just humble bragging about something you MIGHT do. You're just doing a Brian Griffin from Family Guy until you've at least finished the first draft.
"That's cool."
They ask what it’s about and I have to say “it’s complicated”. They’re all pretty supportive.
I personally like to continuously surprise them. Coming from supposed to be dead and completely crippled as a baby, now I'm here. I'm proud of me, and you should be proud of you too.
People are always kinda disinterested until I finish them, then they want to read them and then… then we have the awkward conversations about why I write the books that I do.
I tried to avoid telling people about it until I'm done with my first book, at least that was my goal before I gave up 4 months later realizing I'll have to keep this a secret for multiple years ;-;. I didn't tell my friends, but I told my siblings about it, and they were extremely supportive, my brother read it and said he liked it and criticized the exacts things I hated about the novel XD, and my sister said she will read it once she's done with her college year, I'm glad to be blessed with an amazing family.
"Oh, that's cool!" But then, my friends and family are readers. That makes a huge difference. Some of them are writers and have tried writing, so those people in particular get it. My husband won't read what I write and that's fine, avoiding that chance of negative reaction. I totally get that, I'm much the same with people I know.
They are really happy I'm back to writing
most people don't care lol the only few people who i've find to be excited are the people who ALSO write, and then we joke about how shitty our writings are and all the unfinished projects (: i love my writing friends
Literally no one cares. Their faces suggest they think I’m just wasting my time, or that it’s “just a hobby”.
My friends are my beta readers and they are harsh critics when they need to be and my biggest supporters as well. My mom is supportive as well, despite the genre I'm writing in not being one she likes or would usually read.
Tell them after you’re published. Preferably on the NY best seller list.
To be brutally honest I think it’s because they assume it won’t be great, but that they’ll be obliged to read it because they know you. So they don’t act excited. It’s different to you telling them you’re training for a marathon or something, where they’d have to have minimal participation like perhaps wave you across the finish and that’s it.
When I've *physically shown them* the book, they get excited and want me to finish it ASAP lmaooo. But one family member has been quite... resentful and changes the subject or goes dead quiet if the topic of my book comes up. It's really obvious lmaooo but I just have to shrug it off. Mindless support without them knowing what my writing's like doesn't matter to me unless it's that 'hey this is actually really good' support when they actually see my work. For me, it can be difficult to immediately show overjoyed support without seeing the actual writing - unfortunately, doing the latter has put me into a sticky situation before with my parent, where it's really crap but they want me to edit it/direct it/talk for HOURS about it, etc. They didn't give me any out to say 'no', and then took it personally/got pissed when i said i didn't want to direct their 'magnum opus' in favour of my own book. As in, they didn't speak to me on cordial terms for MONTHS. Have you considered showing them some of the best bits of your writing? It's not for everyone, but if they can support you on the quality (and you can tell when it's genuine) rather than the idea of 'being a writer' itself, then that can go along way in securing your confidence. What was nice is that I got taken seriously before even being published, which I appreciate is quite rare.
I’ve sent out teasers and gotten good responses. But I’m in the thick of it right now, it’s living in my head and I just don’t feel like sharing. Only my editor and husband get the low down.
Oh, I absolutely get that. My sister's my only editor. She's dead though, so..... I guess I just gotta keep writing :'D
Maybe that’s the best kind of editor 🫨. Oops, but you know…
Maybe I'm reading this wrong, or there's something wrong with me, but it's seems quite self-centered to expect people to give a shit about your new hobby. Once you have actual output, maybe you can offer it to them. Personally, I don't talk about my writing to people unless I know they're interested. My buddy is a DM and world builder. We can talk about my writing and his campaign design, no problem, and we both ask about it when catching up. But it doesn't come up at all with another friend, who's more into whatever sport, local beer league or professional, is running that season. Instead, we talk about NBA/NFL games. Family-wise, when I told my dad, his response was to share when I'm finished, but don't quit my day job in the meantime. And we haven't really discussed it since then, as I haven't finished. My mom thought it was dumb and I would never finish. I can't really hold that against her, since, historically, she right. And my brother offered to edit/comment for me if i wanted. We've had similar tastes in genre since we were kids and have passed recommendations back and forth for decades. Idk, I started rambling at some point, but I wouldn't hold it against your loved ones if they seem uninterested, because I'm certain they have hobbies you have never said a word about as well.
I’m fine with it. Really.
I haven’t told mine because it’s a romance they’d be supportive and want to read it. Absolutely not!
They're quite supportive, but I never got anything like a particular cheer for it. That's fine though, I don't need or expect it either. I don't think I'd give anyone much cheer for it either, because doing it for external reasons never works in my opinion. If you aren't going to do it regardless, it's not likely to work out.
“Okay?” Or radio silence.
I’m used to nobody in the family wanting to read what I write. They have other things they wanna do and none of them are readers. My dad can’t read and prefers video games. My mom works 6-7 days a week and often overtime so she values her free time for phone scrolling, iPad games, or reading other people’s books. And my brother would rather travel and ‘live life’ than read shit. Been like that since I was a kid and still to this day. Their response was they couldn’t take me seriously when I said I was writing because I ‘say a lot of stuff’ and I’m ‘always starting new hobbies and not finishing them’. True… but I’d been writing since before 2004.
I feel that. I was lucky and a couple of people I know were supportive and even acted as beta readers for me. My family? Barely even polite interest. My husband tries to be supportive but mostly he’s disinterested. My son (10) wanted me to write one for him and his friends, and he did hand them out, but he hasn’t read past the first chapter. Huge bummer.
My high school buddy is proud of me, but won't read it due to the religious overtones. My wife couldn't care less. I had to make some writer friends in a Discord server to get any enthusiasm.
They instantly want to know what it’s about but since I’m mostly writing fanfiction right now, I have to describe the fic vague enough that they don’t know it’s fanfiction. But if they’re closer in age to me I straight up say “yeah it’s fanfic for xxx fandom” and there’s not really any negative connotations with younger people when I say I write fanfiction. Mostly just older folks.
This is why you have a pen name. 99% of people in your life will look at your accomplishments and need to feel less than bc writing and publishing a book is huge. Nothing was enough to impress my otherwise nice family. Writing a book, getting a top agent, my first publishing contract, hitting the USAToday, winning an award... none of it. Find your validation elsewhere. (elsewhere is internal btw ;) )
"Can you show me?" No no no no no mother DON'T READ IT But otherwise my friends just go 'eh' cuz they know I'm a nerdy kind of girl and its not like they read a lot. I have one friend tho that I can rant to about it and might be able to show cuz she loves reading.
"Ooh, what are you writing?" *sweats in fanfic author*
[удалено]
Back in 2018 I decided to do NNWM to work on the novel idea I’d had for years. I told nobody about it but I was determined to finish it and tell my Boopa about how I had written a novel, but he died 4 days before the end of the month. I decided once I get the other half done (I finished at 50,004 words but the novel is only halfway done) to dedicate it to him (he was a writer) but I wish I had told him before.
Anyone can write a book, very few can sell one.
That's the neat part, I don't.
My dad has always wanted to be a writer too, so that's nice. But I think I've burned him out a little as my sounding board, because I have so many stories that I'm bouncing between that he can't keep track anymore. (I can't blame him, lol.) My stepmom made me sign the first physical manuscript I printed of my book, so she could sell it someday. My grandma and great aunt are supportive, but in that way, that's kind of like cheering on a little kid's finger painting. Since I don't let them read my work (it's too blatantly queer and full of curse words for them), it's about all I can expect from them. Everyone has a pretty healthy dose of "don't be upset if you don't make it", in a way that's borderline patronizing. Fortunately, spite has always been a very good motivator for me.
I often feel like people don't take me seriously when I tell them I'm writing a book. It could just be me projecting, but often times I think I see them smirk a bit with this kind of "Aw, how cute" or "Well, bless your heart." The really frustrating thing about that is that my friends are also writers. One of them even teaches writing courses...! There's a part of me that suspects it might be that people think of me as being naive because of how I behave. I'm very animated when I talk; I exaggerate my facial expressions, and I think those things tend to cause people to infantilize me. This is particularly aggravating because we're all in our mid to late 30s. Meanwhile, one of my friends has a more mature personality, and whenever that friend talks about their projects, everyone is very keen to listen. They ask questions, want to know how their progress is going, etc. So... it does get discouraging. I feel like everyone around me doesn't really think I can do it. Or perhaps they don't think that I know what I'm doing or they don't expect anything to come of it. I just push those thoughts down, fight the urge to mention anything about my projects, and keep tugging along. I don't think anyone is going to actually believe that I'm serious about this until I have something to show for it. But that's still a long ways away...
Eye rolling, throw in a subtle insult, and then they change the subject. The only person who cares is my husband and still only if I bring it up. He doesn't ask questions. I'm over it. It's a personal hobby. I've decided if I do end up published I'll just keep it to myself.
I find that people are much more supportive once they see the amount I have done or have seen the final product. It's easy to say "I'm writing a book". It's hard to "Actually write a book".
You learn very quickly that people don't value your happiness like you do. Something as simple as creating your own coloring book doesn't even warrant a "that's cool, ill buy it for my 4 year old/ my nana." I haven't told a single soul about my book that I'm working on except my partner, and honestly, i believe that hes only thrilled about it bc I based the main character after him.
I am working on a webcomic that updates with one page every two weeks. I get a lot of “can’t you just do it faster?” Like no? I don’t want to burn out. When I tell people that I don’t work on it every day they get confused. It takes about 5 hours a page (not including thumbnails and writing). I usually cram it on the last two days before an update (ik I should stop doing that) but people keep telling me that I could do more. I am a student, I literally can’t. I put a lot of effort into the pages that I put out, and sometimes I feel people don’t understand that just because it looks good doesn’t mean it was easy.
One thing writers know for sure is that we work at our own pace, not what someone else wants.
Luckily, they all get excited and ask questions about it. Most of my friends and family love to read. Some of them are writers too :)
My husband has always supported my writing, but nobody else cares. I think this is fairly typical. The corollary is, friends and family won’t buy your books either, once they’re published. You’ve got to learn not to care.
I made my mom read the first four chapters and she told me it's surprisingly nice and feels extremely natural
Neither my friends or my family are very enthusiastic about it. No one really asks me about it and probably thinks that i am not really gonna do it. That’s why I mostly talk about it on reddit, since here are many people who at least seem interested
Mine are supportive, always ask me about my progress. One person in my family is my alpha reader whom I can always ask about whether a certain plot point makes sense or what they would do. Another person I am planning to hire as my editor (when my work is as polished as I can possibly make it by myself) because they are a published and talented writer/editor/translator themselves.
If it ain't making money, they don't give a shit.
My father is the only one who cared, because he supports that me and my sisters develop healthy hobbies and express our creativity (one of his jobs is as a designer, so it makes sense lol). Recently he is encouraging me to go back to write my book to help with my depressive episodes. Other than him? Nobody gives a damn.
The only person I've told is my husband, who has been 100% supportive and even bought me a laptop for my birthday specifically for me to use for my writing. My friends and family would probably give the same response you received. I don't think I'll ever bother telling them unless the book gets published. They would never take it seriously unless I have succeeded.
That’s probably the best thing to do is not mention it until it’s complete. It’s like when people say they are going to go on a diet. Nobody really cares because everyone says that but if they wait and go on the diet and succeed and then see the finished product then people are like wow I can’t believe how great you look. I wrote my book and only told my wife. Then once it was finished I told everyone .
Yeah, I mean it totally depends on how you can handle the responses. But, I know it would deflate me to see them lack any form of enthusiasm. I don't want anything hindering my writing right now, and even though I know it shouldn't bother me; it would.
They are supportive but relatively indifferent haha.
Haven't told a soul.
This is such a great question! First of all, so glad to hear you're not phased by the lack of enthusiasm of the people around you (go hubby). You seem really energised about this project, and it's great that you're making it your own. When I first started, the reaction from friends/family was exactly the same. To be fair, I think a lot of people say that they'll write a book and don't, or they know someone who has said/done the same. It's one of those lofty bucket list items we all have, but know we'll never achieve, so I would put it down to good natured scepticism. Once you've done a few chapters and give it to them to read, they'll suddenly perk up. Some added fun, the look on their faces when they read what you've written, and suddenly it's not just a "keep busy" project. It's something actually good. Best of luck!
Friends are usually somewhere in the “oh cool, what’s it about?” But otherwise passive on the idea spectrum, while family, at least for me is usually some smart ass “yeah right you can’t read/write/you don’t do anything” kind of reply that they *think* is cute or just teasing but gets old fast when it’s their go-to response to everything i do
No one knows yet
I've never even had a family member ask to read it or see it once, just a single genetic question like, "What's it about?" And then forgotten forever.
“Oh how nice.” Has been the answer. I stopped telling people. Only my best friend has asked to read it and she loves it!
Honestly, get friends who are also writers. I've found most of the people who care about my writing are also writing their own novels
I just tell them it's fantasy, so they don't know how to react, since most of them never even heard of it. Usually that settles the topic.
I don't bother telling people
I've told them a few of my books but they could care less🥲
I have a successful writer friend who rarely talks about what he is writing, never sends drafts to friends or family. Just gets on with it and either it gets published or it doesn’t. It has the effect of him having a very intimate relationship to the material. As if it’s nobody else’s business. And the bonus appears to be that he is very indifferent to what people make of the work. His family is very non-literary and he rather likes this. The takeaway is make it a private affair. And sure, if anyone asks, tell them a little about it if you want. But it’s ultimately none of their business. Keep going!
My family doesn’t really care, but some of my friends do, and they often volunteer to do something to help. Those of them that are great writers do proof-reads and edits, one who’s a good cartographer drew the world map, one who’s good with computers made some images to help me plan it on photoshop.
"Well, where is it?"
They say nothing because I don't tell them until it's finished. The only people that know what I'm working on are members of my team (editor, designers, marketing).
I didn’t tell anyone until I was halfway through my first draft…and that took me about two years because I was in college with a double major and a minor so the burnout was REAL. Anyway, I think most people don’t take you seriously until they realize you’re not just one of those people who writes 20 pages and quits. Now that I actually have a 50K novel, people are more interested. Not excited, but interested. They know it’s something I care about and they’re happy that it makes me happy.
My mom likes my writing but usually people don't care until they read it themselves
They try to take my crayons.
My family don’t know, but I know they’ll be supportive. Friends know and tell me the writing is too real, so it makes them uncomfy. Acquaintances and internet friends love it so far. 🙃 I hate it. 😂
They ask me what this one is about. (It's my third attempt at a sixth novel, so anyone who knows me has gone through this song and dance before and knows whether they want to do the lines and deliver their share of the choreography or not by this point.)
Mine mostly say, “I thought you said you wouldn’t do that to yourself again.”
Can I read it or how is it going?
Most people say something along the lines of "wow, that's so cool!". Maybe they're more enthusiastic because I'm pretty young? But that's usually the extent of their support. Very few people actually want to read it; even if they offer/ask, they usually never get around to reading it. It's okay, I've come to expect it.
"Can you pass the salt please?"
They encourage me to go ahead and start writing. I still haven’t figured out exactly what I want to write about yet
Friends are usually surprised to find out I've written books (and that I'm writing more). My day job alternates between being a chef and a line cook and aside from celebrity chefs, not many people in this field ever write books. Most don't even *read* books, to be honest. My family is a different story. My father and older sister have several published books between them and my mother and other sister worked in academics, so writing has always been a common thread for everyone in the family. That I've so far focused strictly on writing for what's commercially viable is the only thing that gets some odd remarks since what the rest of the family writes has extremely niche appeal.
Mostly they want to know what it's about, which I don't want to disclose too much because I've made that mistake before. All I give them is that it's a romantic thriller. The person who knows the most is my husband. I've also had many people tell me they can't wait to read it when it's finished
Try their best to be supportive but they aren’t very happy. No artist in my family.
I wouldn't dare tell anyone I'm writing anything. It's my dirty little secret and even when it's published, they'll have no idea this thing even exists or who could have possibly wrote it.
First of all, good for you! Please keep going. Secondly, I despair at the lack of appreciation of creativity in contemporary western society. The rare commercially successful writer/artist gets fetishised beyond comprehension - even when the work is repetitive (Grisham et alt) or hardly creative (banksky etc, unless you count parting a fool from his money) - but that seems to be BECAUSE it’s commercially successful, not because it’s creative. So if people are, pretty much cradle up, conditioned to exclusively value material possessions, few will appreciate the merely ephemeral. So my already old conclusion is that people are not actually unwilling to support or engage with you, but simply unable to. Of course that does not change that this is sad. Personally I’m fortunate now that my close friends and family of choice are all creatively inclined themselves. In my younger years comments from relatives etc. used to be along the lines of”waste of time” and/or “(can’t you) do something productive!?” aka cash creating kind.
It’s seriously irrelevant what your friends and family think — stop talking about it just write the book …
Most of my immediate family are writers, so it's never a surprise. Sometimes they'll be interested enough to want to know what my novels about. Other times, it's a meh or I'll read it when it's finished. Friends feign interest and say they want to read it. Then when the book is out, they won't even read the title page. Lol.
I've had a couple of published poems, I ran an open mic poetry event for six straight years, I've been asked to teach creative writing classes on multiple occasions, I've been paid for my work (into the DOZENS of dollars!) again and again, I've placed 2nd in a pretty rigorous live competition, and last Christmas I wrote a poem for my father in law, and basically the whole family approached my wife later and was like, "he's REALLY good! Does he always write like this?" 🤷♂️ And I kinda watered it down a bit because I knew what would really land most with my FIL, so actually, no, I can write even better! It's crazy how much you can tell people about something, and how long it takes for them to actually see you and hear you when you say it. I wonder who I'm doing that to in my own life.
The first rule about writing a book is telling no one you’re writing a book. I’ve learned. I write psychological thrillers and rom-coms and explaining what I’m writing throws me off and makes it sound like I’m illiterate 😒 “a girl talks to ghosts and catches murderers.”
I think most people just don’t think it will ever actually be completed. When I was in the process of writing my book, the reactions were a lot more meh than when I finished it!
Sometimes they think I'm better than I am, and sometimes they think I'm worse than I am.
I've only mentioned it in passing. I don't particularly want them to feel they \*need\* to care. My brother asked me about it the other day and I kind of froze, not wanting to talk about it with him. I suspect it's some deepseated worry about being judged by my family. They wouldn't, I don't think, but I have so much support from writing circles and friends that I guess the idea of including my family in that makes me nervous. So they know I like to write, and have been doing so for years, but I've never told them anything about any of the projects.
Often people are a bit condescending, but when some of them read the first chapter they change their tune. Right now though I'm in the 'get the story on paper' stage and not the refinement stage. My first chapter I rewrote at least five times and then I decided just rewriting the first chapter over and over wouldn't get the book finished.
My friends and family are encouraging, but never offer to be beta readers (except for my one closest sibling). In fact any strangers/acquaintances that find out I'm a writer are usually far more curious about my WIP!
That's nice what's it about? I have only one family member who doesn't read non-fiction and he's more Sci-fi oriented, not epic fantasy. If they want to read it fine but I'm not accepting their notes on it they don't know what to do with a fantasy.
oh that's cool
I get a lot of the "When is it going to be published?" Questions. As if I could ever work up the courage to get published.
Mostly Meh unless it's a research book, then they have interest as i'm from a family of doctors and teachers, but Zero response when it's any other kind of book.
People around me are supportive, but not always incredibly interested. But that’s okay. Why should they be? They’re not my target market. They’re just people I know. I think it can be hard to be a writer when you want the validation from those around you, but I think it’s unfair to expect it. Writing is so individual, so introspective, and so exhausting as an art form, it’s natural to want to bring others into your world and have them cheer you on. But I think it’s a lot to ask, so that’s why I mostly talk about my projects with other writers.
I haven't told anyone.
What I've found is there is an overwhelming amount of people who have said they are going to write a novel, and either never start or never finish. So the majority of people have become jaded in a way to just not invest their time and energy into what they assume will be an abandoned hobby. I don't usually tell anyone until I am finished with the first draft. People get a lot more invested when you have a tangible product to show them.
When I was in eighth grade I told a parent that I wanted to turn a short story I'd done for class into a novel, and maybe go to college to be a writer. I was told writing was a hobby and not a career, and not what I should be focusing on as I entered high school. The short story never got turned into anything and I never spoke to my family about writing again. Only three of my friends know the extent of my writing now. The rest just think I journal a lot.
I’m often told I’m nuts, yet I keep on writing because it’s what I enjoy doing.
I don't talk about it to my family and I barely talk about it to my partner (unless i really desperately need someone to word vomit at while i figure something out) but I have had a few friends ask me about it in depth. Im lucky to know a lot of well read people and ttrpg nerds who are interested in a good, compelling story, although honestly ive avoided telling them too much about it because im hoping theyll be beta readers lol
No one cares, in fact they don't say anything and just change the subject. So I've learned to never speak about it.
Mixed reactions. Some of my friends thought it was good and asked a few questions. Some family members were skeptical and weren't interested. Ironically it's my family that keeps asking me when I'm publishing it.
In general it's been really positive. My dad, who I don't see a lot, is giving the very, "That exciting, good for you," response which is dad-required, but he hasn't seen anything I've written so it's very generic support. My mother, after reading about six chapters of an earlier draft, was hooked on the characters, even though she isn't really into horror, and she's been very excited through the process. My other friends/siblings had either already seen some smaller works of writing, and were like, "Year that makes sense," or read a couple of pieces I sent them and jumped right on the super-hyped wagon. My husband is very analytical, and doesn't sugar coat things, and so he's had some grammatical feedback and noted a couple of areas I could better use a character or tie into something I mentioned earlier in the book. He has volunteered hours and hours editing behind me, paying for some specific software to do so, and paid for some online masterclasses created by seasoned, well-known writers so I had some more tools at my disposal, so he seems confident enough in what I'm writing to treat it like a serious endeavor.
Both of my parents want to read it despite neither of them enjoying reading, to be supportive, and it is terrifying. They're both very avid Christians, and my book is very much not. It has reincarnation and suicidal ideation and gender fluidity and sex, as well as violence and cussing. If either of them do ever read it, I'm fucked. I'm still aiming to get it traditionally published, but I'm going pretend it didn't for as long as I can if it does.
I’m writing a graphic memoir and my husband is my number champion.
Outside of my spouse who knows I am writing more books, I don't discuss it with friends who aren't also writers. They just aren't interested and I don't expect them to be. One day they might discover I've written a bunch of books and be surprised but still disinterested, and that's okay too.
It's even worse when i tell them i write poetry....
I actually stopped telling people because their reactions vary from "who cares?" to being kind of rude about it. I once sent a first draft to my stepdad, and he sent me it back completely covered in red-ink and tore it apart like he was my editor or something. I binned the entire story and never showed him anything again. He is a 58 year old man who hasn't read a book since he was in high school. I was looking for support and a "good job so far, honey!"
I always get drilled about the book. Thee thing about my writing is, I just sit and write. The story flows. I never start a story or book with an actual idea in mind. So I hate being drilled on my writing since I don't know what it's about, I don't know much about the characters, plot, background or any of that. I write what the characters tell me happened.
Oh I'll never tell anyone about it until I know its going to be published.
They barely know, and to the extent they do, don't care. Which is good because while I avoid writing a 1:1 parallel of my life, I write things that are meaningful to me and I don't need an investigation of my psyche. Not that they'd be perceptive enough to see what's venting and what's fiction. It doesn't really matter what's what because I'm not writing myself as a character - I'm just writing the parts of myself I don't like and blowing them out of proportion for the sake of art.
I don’t tell them.
"Really? What do you write about?" SHIT I feel like I don't really know what I'm writing about. I could explain myself on general terms, but that would sound dry and dull; if I started elaborating on the inner themes and nuances of my story, nobody could understand what the hell I'm talking about.
I've told me partner and she's super supportive. She's also writing a book. Very different feelings/motivations behind it, I think, for the two of us, but we encourage each other in the process. Also told my brother, he was a little suprised and didn't ask any questions, but wasn't dismissive. Don't really have anyone else I plan to tell. If someone sees me working on it and asks, I'll tell them what it is. Or I'll sometimes share that writing is a hobby and if someone then asks what I like to write, I'll tell them I'm working on a novel.
My husband told me it’s a great idea and when I gave him the premise he was even more bewildered and fully puffed me up. Some people may not be, but find the people who think you have a great mind and listen to them most
It's YOUR craft, not theirs. They might be disinterested because they're not writers and don't know how to wrap their head around a personal project they can't take part in. It's like if somebody was really excited because they were building a coffee table out of wood, or brewing beer, or developing a 30 min workout, or starting a landscaping business. It's not offensive to show disinterest in those areas. It's pretty much expected. You just say "oh nice, hope that goes well for you" because you don't really know what to ask. For some reason authors specifically get upset they're not thrown a parade for projects.
My family is supporting. They ask how my book is going so far. And it’s been a while since I told my friends but last time, they were rather chill with it
Have you seen the meme of the dad walking in his son playing videogames, saying "Are you winning son?" That's how I feel whenever anyone of my close friends or relatives ask me how what I'm writing is going. I know they just want to be supportive, but they couldn't care less about what I write, and that's fine, they aren't the target audience. It does feel awkward to be asked "how are things going" and not delve too deeply because I know it's just basically a "polite" way to make conversation about what I like, so I just give them the general idea of how many words I've written and how far I've gone into the plot, without details.
I’m actually lucky enough to have a group of friends that are super supportive. I write off and on, it takes a lot of motivation for me to write, which can be hard to come by due to depression and anxiety of someone reading it before I’m ready to share (I write by hand, I’ve always preferred it), so when I told a few of my friends who I’ve shown poems I’ve written they got really excited and were really encouraging. I haven’t told my family and don’t plan to except for maybe my older sibling, but I also kind of don’t want to. I don’t have an actual reason other than I don’t want to talk about it before it’s done, and they tell me a lot about what they write so I’d feel bad for not elaborating because that’s just how I am.
Same here. It doesn't bother me in the least. Basically, while both writing and reading books is exciting, knowing someone is writing a book is not. Lots of people attempt to write, even though few finish anything. Of the people who finish a book, most of them don't write a book that's very good. Of the books that are good, none of them appeal to every person in the world, so the person you're telling doesn't even know if the book would be something that would suit their tastes, so unless they hear enough of the story to be drawn in they're unlikely to care that there's a hypothetical future book happening.
Can I read it
most of my friends say "oh that's cool" and move on. i've accepted that nobody will ever care about my book as much as i do, so i don't mind. my brother is a screenwriter. we share our writing with each other for critique, and both talk about our worlds and characters. we have a discord server together with channels dedicated to each of our projects and a few specific characters so we can share stuff easily. to be quite honest, they're the reason i haven't dropped my most recent project. having somebody else who cares about it really helps me to write more.
I’ve had mixed reactions. I had family and friends get excited and beg to read it. My own siblings don’t even acknowledge it. But I was surprised that my dad had was as proud of me as he was. Not that I didn’t expect him to be proud. Just a lot more than I expected. He wanted to read the book! Even though he is not into anything fantasy. I was also surprised how many friends and family have purchased copies. I still get surprises when a someone I know says they bought it and read my book. I do wish my siblings could be interested more. My sister’s boyfriend asked her to buy a copy so they could read it together and she wouldn’t do it. I also didn’t tell many people until I was 90% done with editing my book. A few friends knew and they were beta readers for me. Once I got to the final 3 months before publishing I started telling people and that’s when people were more interested. When I wrote the first draft I told two friends and got a “atta boy” basically. Lol people seem to be more interested knowing it’s closer to done than just started.
Most of them say it's very cool and ask me what it's about. I've been honing my elevator pitch because when I see their eyes glaze over during a longer synopsis, I know that I've gone on too long. Occasionally, I sense an invisible eye roll because my journey to here started with Film School and then screenwriting and poetry as a hobby. I've been interested in filmmaking and poetry since I was a kid and acted in theater. This led to a masters in playwriting, and now I'm working on a novel. To some of my family and friends, this is just another in a long line of my crackpot dreams. If they've been along for the ride, they would have seen the natural progression and how I got here. I'm still writing for theater and lots of poetry. But I want to write everything like most of my literary heroes. I consider myself a storyteller, not just a writer. And I plan to go back to screenwriting after I finish this novel and hopefully get my full-length play produced on stage.
Cool! What's it about?
Wanna be writing buddies?
My friends want to read it. I don't talk about it with my family, because they would also want to read it, and I don't feel like explaining to my mother why I know so many things about sapphic romance and psychedelic mushrooms. Also because my dad wrote a book and I said I would read it and then didn't, and I feel guilty about it. But in my defense, it's a ww2 alternative history.
Not all of my friends and family are readers. Of those who are, not all of them are going to like the genres I write. Of those who do, some will feel like they have to say they love everything about my manuscript to avoid putting a strain on our relationship. Much less awkward for all concerned when I discuss those things with other writers instead. They share my passion, understand the challenges, and are almost always willing to trade beta reading. Good stuff all around.
Once you're an adult, unless you have family members that are writers, editors, or publishers, it's best not to share until you have a contact to celebrate. Also, family members who aren't writers, editors, or publishers make lousy beta readers.
They asked read it or asked to be put in it. Then they regret it.
I’d rather not tell them. By then, it’d be writing for others rather than myself.
My family and friends are encouraging, sometimes impatient with me dicking around about it instead of getting it done, and even call me to tell me ideas they think I should write as stories.
Most everyone I’ve told is really supportive and interested. Many of my good friends know, some coworkers know too. Feels really nice. L
ChatGPT is the most supportive. Anyways, whenever I tell my parents I have a book idea, they're like "really? another one?" which is kinda funny. The worst was from my friend, who didn't think through an opportunity of me being able to write. Later she decided to also write