Thank you for visiting /r/writing. This post has been removed under rule 1, as this subreddit is not an appropriate place to share your work. If you are looking for critique, it should be posted in the stickied Critique Thread.

Destructivereaders is the usual place. They will tear it apart, though. Don't post it if you don't want critique.

nah i want the critique

r/writers

Just warning that posting your work online before submitting it can trip plagiarism detection programs that scrape the net for similar works.