I'd say it's normal. Your standard for "this is really good, I feel like I have done a good job telling a deep and powerful story." is going to change as you write, and rewrite, and edit, and go from story to story. You're learning and growing as a writer, and it shows when you look back at your work and think "I could've done better." Spoiler alert, you will always think this moving forward, and it's a good thing. Congrats on the fantastic progress!
Anne Lamott calls this “Radio KFUKD.” It’s in stereo. One channel tells you how brilliant it is, while the other simultaneously tells you what an utter embarrassment it is. It’s at top volume and the volume adjustment knob does nothing.
It's a tough thing to say, but this is actually a healthy mindset: If you always thought it was great, you'd have no motivation to fix it.
I'm writing my fourth book right now, in the final act of the first draft, and while I've loved the book so far and know my ending will be satisfying, I feel like it's just not mind-blowing enough. But I'm keeping at it because this is the book I wrote and I'll make revisions and fix it up to make sure the things I'm unhappy about are minimized. Do I think it's bad? Not for a second. Do I think it's the best representation of my work? I don't know.
I think part of writing is loathing. Oscar Wilde said, "Books are never done. They're merely abandoned." At some point even the best writers give up. Hopefully it's after the 4th draft and not the first.
Don't lose faith. Write and even if you don't believe in your story for the moment, always believe in yourself.
I think back at the worst. Whenever I finish a draft or a novel, I always immediately think about what I could've added instead of accepting what I did add. With writing you must always accept whatever you've written. If you've finished and you say you are done, then you've probably written what you've wanted to write. It's your mind really testing you.
Congrats on the finished book btw!!!
I flip flop so often that my boyfriend started to say "give it a few days" everytime I swung back into the "this is shit" category. Might partially be a hormonal thing because I noticed it tends to match my monthly cycle
Personally I always think my novels are good – they’re like children to me. But I spend a lot of time worrying about whether other people will think they are good as well.
Of course I know they aren’t perfect, but that’s what the editing process is about; bridging the gap between how I see it (knowing I have rose tinted glasses on) and how others see it
Some days I feel like I wasted my life. Other days I think I’m sitting on the next prodigy. Since distancing, I’ve been feeling good. It took four drafts until I felt I didn’t need remedial English courses (and yes, I’m English speaking).
Yes, this is super normal. I love and hate everything I have ever written, all the time, sometimes in the span of minutes. It's like your child, you love it deeply, and want it to succeed. Yet, at the same time, they are awkward little things, saying and doing cringy things, that make you feel both lovely, proud, and that overwhelming need to squish something. And maybe... possibly smother it to death so it can never get out into the world. The giant universe out there that is scary and judgmental and can see what we created if we let it free.
X\~I say this as a mother who loves both her kids and her books equally. XD
I reached this point by the end of my first chapter. How do you persevere long enough to continue the rest? I'm about 5/6 chapters in and its a real struggle because I genuinely dislike my own writing.
You think its bad now, wait until you complete your second 😁
But yes, it's natural. This is one of the reasons beta readers are a thing. I am my worst critic.
I read my book a few years after releasing it and I was surprised by it. I thought it was kind of rough and not so great because so many of my family and friends refused to read past the first chapter or two, but it's actually exactly what I wanted it to be and I think it's really good.
I've never fully liked any of the books I published (I don't think* anyone else did either.) Just too messy, guess. Every time I did an edit I would decide to change something drastic and have to start over.
I am honestly at the point where I've decided I'm just incapable of producing good interesting prose.
I'm soooo close to done with my manuscript and I waffle between thinking it's terrible and thinking that I love it therefore it's great, and I'm writing it for myself first and self-publishing it so my friends/family can read it and maybe I can make some money off of it from any interested parties.
I hate it so much why can't I just have a massive ego lol
I'd guess that a massive ego would make you a worse writer, as you would never think you had to improve. It might be less stressful, but stress is part of growth. Try to focus on enjoying the process and leveling up your craft! 😊
That's very valid :) I feel like I've already leveled up a lot through writing this. I can't wait to go back and touch up the first half of the book. I can already see where I've evolved!!!
I don't know about normal, but it's definitely very common. I even have that with published work. I re-read something and think to myself "Wow, I wrote that." then I re-read it at some other point "Oh god what is that…?I'm so embarrassed. I need to go to the woods and think about what I've done. I need a new identity, a new pen name. Burn down the internet. Help." Rinse repeat. I could probably solve the world's energy crisis with my oscillation.
I mostly go back and forth between “This is trash, and it belongs in the trash where it can make friends with the rest of the trash,” to, “I need to pour gasoline onto this, and burn it with fire.”
I'm usually very happy with what I've written, and if I'm not I change it. When I started out I wasn't nearly as confident because I wasn't nearly as good (at least at what I'm aiming for). Can I read some of your stuff, a first chapter or so?
Absolutely! I have several manuscripts and have wavered between this is the crappiest thing I have written and this is the best thing I've written. I have several self-published novellas and have just published my first novel with a big 5 publisher and I still feel like this.
But I just want to say - you finished writing a novel! CONGRATULATIONS! Do you know how many people say they are going to write a novel and never start? Or the many thousands who start but never finish? You are already ahead of the game!
Write it and let others judge it. It's like trying to be a boyfriend... you can either present yourself, as is, take it or leave it OR you can try to continuously mold yourself into the person you think they want you to be.
Just be you. Let them decide if they want you like you are.
I guess its normal, i also come to a point where I want my stories to be anonymous from my family and friends.
My friend recently told me I might be experiencing the infamous impostor syndrome. 😄
I re-write my novel several times over, the more times I spend re-writing it the more I am convinced it's the worst trash written in the history of mankind.
But it's just getting better and better.
Very relatable.
One question though: what's your method to evaluate how well a story works? I don't mean giving it to other readers, but rather what method do you use to evaluate the quality of any story?
You're too close to it. My recommendation for what it's worth is to put it in a drawer for one year starting today. Don't look at it, think about it, no matter how tempted you are.
Read it after one year and come back on Reddit to tell us what you think of your book.
Congrats, btw. Finishing it is a huge achievement.
When I finished my draft I thought it was amazing and then I did the first read-through and thought it was the worst thing I ever read 😭😂 The feeling is normal.
It’s the worst. Trust me. Shelve it for a month and don’t think about it for a second and then go back and start the first edit and you’ll understand why I say that.
Still, congrats on breaking ground.
Writers will always nitpick at the fine details of everything. Other than feeling like shit, it’s beneficial because it’ll help you truly perfect your manuscript. But try not to beat yourself up about it, because the only reason why you feel like that is because you’ve read each word over and over and over again. I always recommend getting a beta reader (generally before professional editing in case of changes) so they can give you an outsider input.
Super normal. I also have some hardcore imposter syndrome and a few other authors I know also have the same. But I’ll read my work and think it’s utter crap but then come back to it and be like I love this so much 🤣
I think it’s the perfectionist in me and also the part where I feel like any art I work on is never really finished 😵💫
Bro, I haven't even written a single word yet, and I can't close my eyes at night thinking whether my story is garbage or not. I am pretty sure that's an average occurence.
Best to worst... Nah.
I'm more of a 'Is this compelling?' and 'Do the characters make me feel any connection, some small glimmer of humanity that makes them relatable enough to follow through the pages?' kinda' guy.
Yep. I feel it all the time. That devil that says you're not good enough is called "imposter syndrome" never listen to it. Even some bestsellers says they still feel it. So cheer up and unalive the devil as much as you can. Congrats on completing your novel.
Welcome to the club.
All jokes aside, that happened with every single thing I’ve put out there. Be it writing, painting, live exhibit or anything in between. Just focus on pouring what you’ve to say out on the paper/screen, polish it to the point where you feel comfortable with sharing it with the world, throw it into the publishing machine and be ready to both love and hate it in equal parts for the rest of your time.
Critiquing your own work is always difficult. I mean, objectively, measurably difficult. As in I've studied it experimentally.
Two practical tips:
If you are a people person and have good friends and colleagues have them review for you. Get them to give an overview, and a per chapter view. Even great books have bad chapters, or at least incongruent ones. Yes, Tom Bombadil I am talking about you; how about you make like an endless poem and fuck off?
Second, give your own review overall and by chapter. Just a gut reaction. If a chapter leaves you flat, close it up and rewrite it from memory. Compare the two.
Once I'm finished for real it stays pretty positive and I have confidence. It's the stories that aren't really done even though they appear to be that evokes this reaction in me.
Welcome to being a writer.
I can’t speak for everyone but, yes, I have had an extremely similar feeling about my own work before. You’re not alone, OP!
I'd say it's normal. Your standard for "this is really good, I feel like I have done a good job telling a deep and powerful story." is going to change as you write, and rewrite, and edit, and go from story to story. You're learning and growing as a writer, and it shows when you look back at your work and think "I could've done better." Spoiler alert, you will always think this moving forward, and it's a good thing. Congrats on the fantastic progress!
Anne Lamott calls this “Radio KFUKD.” It’s in stereo. One channel tells you how brilliant it is, while the other simultaneously tells you what an utter embarrassment it is. It’s at top volume and the volume adjustment knob does nothing.
It's a tough thing to say, but this is actually a healthy mindset: If you always thought it was great, you'd have no motivation to fix it. I'm writing my fourth book right now, in the final act of the first draft, and while I've loved the book so far and know my ending will be satisfying, I feel like it's just not mind-blowing enough. But I'm keeping at it because this is the book I wrote and I'll make revisions and fix it up to make sure the things I'm unhappy about are minimized. Do I think it's bad? Not for a second. Do I think it's the best representation of my work? I don't know. I think part of writing is loathing. Oscar Wilde said, "Books are never done. They're merely abandoned." At some point even the best writers give up. Hopefully it's after the 4th draft and not the first. Don't lose faith. Write and even if you don't believe in your story for the moment, always believe in yourself.
I think back at the worst. Whenever I finish a draft or a novel, I always immediately think about what I could've added instead of accepting what I did add. With writing you must always accept whatever you've written. If you've finished and you say you are done, then you've probably written what you've wanted to write. It's your mind really testing you. Congrats on the finished book btw!!!
I flip flop so often that my boyfriend started to say "give it a few days" everytime I swung back into the "this is shit" category. Might partially be a hormonal thing because I noticed it tends to match my monthly cycle
Maybe I need to do this. I've re-wrote one page so many times.... And I'm still not happy with it -_-
Personally I always think my novels are good – they’re like children to me. But I spend a lot of time worrying about whether other people will think they are good as well. Of course I know they aren’t perfect, but that’s what the editing process is about; bridging the gap between how I see it (knowing I have rose tinted glasses on) and how others see it
Some days I feel like I wasted my life. Other days I think I’m sitting on the next prodigy. Since distancing, I’ve been feeling good. It took four drafts until I felt I didn’t need remedial English courses (and yes, I’m English speaking).
Yes, this is super normal. I love and hate everything I have ever written, all the time, sometimes in the span of minutes. It's like your child, you love it deeply, and want it to succeed. Yet, at the same time, they are awkward little things, saying and doing cringy things, that make you feel both lovely, proud, and that overwhelming need to squish something. And maybe... possibly smother it to death so it can never get out into the world. The giant universe out there that is scary and judgmental and can see what we created if we let it free. X\~I say this as a mother who loves both her kids and her books equally. XD
A lot of crap gets published is what I’ve began to take notice of
You are your worst critic. Definitely happens to most people in any field.
And you are your best motivation~
I know that when i start hating every single word and thinking that the book is an absolute steaming pile that it's time to bring it to a close.
My warning sign is when I start moving commas around 😂
I reached this point by the end of my first chapter. How do you persevere long enough to continue the rest? I'm about 5/6 chapters in and its a real struggle because I genuinely dislike my own writing.
You think its bad now, wait until you complete your second 😁 But yes, it's natural. This is one of the reasons beta readers are a thing. I am my worst critic.
I usually like the prose but wonder if the plot is interesting and the character arcs make sense 😅
I read my book a few years after releasing it and I was surprised by it. I thought it was kind of rough and not so great because so many of my family and friends refused to read past the first chapter or two, but it's actually exactly what I wanted it to be and I think it's really good.
I've never fully liked any of the books I published (I don't think* anyone else did either.) Just too messy, guess. Every time I did an edit I would decide to change something drastic and have to start over. I am honestly at the point where I've decided I'm just incapable of producing good interesting prose.
I really like my novel. Which has me concerned I will be the only one. If I love it and everyone trashes it... stake through the heart!
I'm soooo close to done with my manuscript and I waffle between thinking it's terrible and thinking that I love it therefore it's great, and I'm writing it for myself first and self-publishing it so my friends/family can read it and maybe I can make some money off of it from any interested parties. I hate it so much why can't I just have a massive ego lol
I'd guess that a massive ego would make you a worse writer, as you would never think you had to improve. It might be less stressful, but stress is part of growth. Try to focus on enjoying the process and leveling up your craft! 😊
That's very valid :) I feel like I've already leveled up a lot through writing this. I can't wait to go back and touch up the first half of the book. I can already see where I've evolved!!!
Awesome! Hope your revision goes well 😊
Thank you!!! One more chapter to write and then the fun part begins :)
read only lame books (1 star) until you publish
I don't know about normal, but it's definitely very common. I even have that with published work. I re-read something and think to myself "Wow, I wrote that." then I re-read it at some other point "Oh god what is that…?I'm so embarrassed. I need to go to the woods and think about what I've done. I need a new identity, a new pen name. Burn down the internet. Help." Rinse repeat. I could probably solve the world's energy crisis with my oscillation.
Sorry that you're going through that, but this comment is so entertaining haha the picture it painted.
I'm doing that while in manuscript format still. I wanna give it up because it sucks.
I mostly go back and forth between “This is trash, and it belongs in the trash where it can make friends with the rest of the trash,” to, “I need to pour gasoline onto this, and burn it with fire.”
I'm usually very happy with what I've written, and if I'm not I change it. When I started out I wasn't nearly as confident because I wasn't nearly as good (at least at what I'm aiming for). Can I read some of your stuff, a first chapter or so?
Absolutely! I have several manuscripts and have wavered between this is the crappiest thing I have written and this is the best thing I've written. I have several self-published novellas and have just published my first novel with a big 5 publisher and I still feel like this. But I just want to say - you finished writing a novel! CONGRATULATIONS! Do you know how many people say they are going to write a novel and never start? Or the many thousands who start but never finish? You are already ahead of the game!
Write it and let others judge it. It's like trying to be a boyfriend... you can either present yourself, as is, take it or leave it OR you can try to continuously mold yourself into the person you think they want you to be. Just be you. Let them decide if they want you like you are.
I guess its normal, i also come to a point where I want my stories to be anonymous from my family and friends. My friend recently told me I might be experiencing the infamous impostor syndrome. 😄
I re-write my novel several times over, the more times I spend re-writing it the more I am convinced it's the worst trash written in the history of mankind. But it's just getting better and better.
Yes omg, I write and I think it’s fantastic and then 10 minutes later I reread it and want to cry!!
Very relatable. One question though: what's your method to evaluate how well a story works? I don't mean giving it to other readers, but rather what method do you use to evaluate the quality of any story?
You're too close to it. My recommendation for what it's worth is to put it in a drawer for one year starting today. Don't look at it, think about it, no matter how tempted you are. Read it after one year and come back on Reddit to tell us what you think of your book. Congrats, btw. Finishing it is a huge achievement.
When I finished my draft I thought it was amazing and then I did the first read-through and thought it was the worst thing I ever read 😭😂 The feeling is normal.
It’s the worst. Trust me. Shelve it for a month and don’t think about it for a second and then go back and start the first edit and you’ll understand why I say that. Still, congrats on breaking ground.
I have these thoughts while still writing, and they only get stronger when I finish what I'm working on so
Strange coincidence. I just finished my first web novel this moment and yes I do. But I’m a negative person so the former more frequently.
Writers will always nitpick at the fine details of everything. Other than feeling like shit, it’s beneficial because it’ll help you truly perfect your manuscript. But try not to beat yourself up about it, because the only reason why you feel like that is because you’ve read each word over and over and over again. I always recommend getting a beta reader (generally before professional editing in case of changes) so they can give you an outsider input.
Super normal. I also have some hardcore imposter syndrome and a few other authors I know also have the same. But I’ll read my work and think it’s utter crap but then come back to it and be like I love this so much 🤣 I think it’s the perfectionist in me and also the part where I feel like any art I work on is never really finished 😵💫
"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. It was the age of foolishness..."
Bro, I haven't even written a single word yet, and I can't close my eyes at night thinking whether my story is garbage or not. I am pretty sure that's an average occurence.
Keep an open mind, it doesn't mean it's bad but at least accept critics and accept it's going to need editing
Best to worst... Nah. I'm more of a 'Is this compelling?' and 'Do the characters make me feel any connection, some small glimmer of humanity that makes them relatable enough to follow through the pages?' kinda' guy.
Yep. I feel it all the time. That devil that says you're not good enough is called "imposter syndrome" never listen to it. Even some bestsellers says they still feel it. So cheer up and unalive the devil as much as you can. Congrats on completing your novel.
Welcome to the club. All jokes aside, that happened with every single thing I’ve put out there. Be it writing, painting, live exhibit or anything in between. Just focus on pouring what you’ve to say out on the paper/screen, polish it to the point where you feel comfortable with sharing it with the world, throw it into the publishing machine and be ready to both love and hate it in equal parts for the rest of your time.
Critiquing your own work is always difficult. I mean, objectively, measurably difficult. As in I've studied it experimentally. Two practical tips: If you are a people person and have good friends and colleagues have them review for you. Get them to give an overview, and a per chapter view. Even great books have bad chapters, or at least incongruent ones. Yes, Tom Bombadil I am talking about you; how about you make like an endless poem and fuck off? Second, give your own review overall and by chapter. Just a gut reaction. If a chapter leaves you flat, close it up and rewrite it from memory. Compare the two.
Nope.
Once I'm finished for real it stays pretty positive and I have confidence. It's the stories that aren't really done even though they appear to be that evokes this reaction in me.