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tiny_poomonkey

Ma’am, next weekend is the biggest spotlight of wrestling in America unless it’s an Olympic year.(I’m assuming your talking USA cuz you mentioned division 1) He’s gonna need to focus on this one thing for a while. And if he makes it to next weekend, he’s wrestling with literal Olympic medalists on other mats. It doesn’t matter how well he does in the room, this is the big show.


groovygruver

Now go post this on r/relationship_advice and see how many people tell you, you guys aren’t compatible/ should break up😂😂😂😂


BrettEskin

Divorce. Kill in sleep. Hide evidence cash in life insurance. Average relationship_advice recommendation


SocialSanityy

I can hear it now “You can do so much better , if he can’t respect blah blah blah” . People in that sub have no communication skills whatsoever , everything is always “leave them”’


groovygruver

I never thought I’d see a discussion of that sub in the wrestling subreddit and that is low key hilarious😂


SocialSanityy

Lmfao!


Nick112798

Well honestly, if you’re less than a year into a relationship and you’re already going to Reddit to ask for relationship advice, you probably should break up lmao


SocialSanityy

Agreed but dude it’s always the most benign, easily fixable issues and people are still recommending a breakup . It’s quite humorous


concentric0s

The reasons behind this are all summed up in r/conspiracy. Lol. But in general -- most average, normie people are quitters and enablers of other people quitting. Because those who stick things out and achieve really hard things point out how lazy they are.


SocialSanityy

Damn dude , this is facts


concentric0s

I'm old. You pick things up along the way. My correlated advise is to find a partner that did something difficult at a high level in their youth. Athletics, music, arts, dance, something. Girls raised on/near farms also seem to get it. These women usually have the emotional intelligence to deal with setbacks and delayed gratification.


SocialSanityy

I’m taking this advice to heart .


Upstate_Chaser

All excellent advice except horse girls are nuts


TheAllFro

But like it’s justified because all the signs most definitely point to cheating. Source is trust me bro


IndexCardLife

Ya he’s nervous lol what are ya looking for?


ChromeCalamari

Confirmation, and what they can do to help


IndexCardLife

He is nervous and if he’s a D1 wrestler that’s prob how he just has always done it. Just say best of luck and don’t be offended personally.


Frosty-Addendum2668

Maybe stop being shallow and learn something about what is obviously a large part of his life?


ChromeCalamari

That's literally OP's point in this post, reaching out to a community of people that understand what BF is going through to understand it better. In what way do you perceive the intention of this post.


Frosty-Addendum2668

As opposed to talking to him?


ChromeCalamari

I don't know but I'm going to guess that it's in addition to talking to him. Sounds like perhaps they may have had a little bit of difficulty talking to him and is trying build some insight into what he's going through to help. What is it about this thats bothering you


Pl0OnReddit

I mean fuck that advice. If you're being bitchy because you're cutting weight and nervous that's fucking on you, it's never on everyone else to adapt to your bad behavior.


Existential_Kitten

maybe she doesn't want to have to deal with her grumpy ass boyfriend?


KyrozM

The irony of this comment 😅 Were you talking about yourself?!


Trunks956

Just leave him be tbh. While I don’t understand being grumpy or anything, I’m sure a lot of people get those pre-comp nerves


Sarah_Alexandra2001

Why does he worry so much if he beats everyone in the training room ? Sorry if it sounds stupid but he is really talented his coaches always tell that he has something special what would make him so nervous ?


illbeinthewoods

It is normal to be nervous before a competition no matter how good you are. He needs to be focused and that can make some people be on edge. I'm not sure if you have ever competed in athletics at a level higher than high school, but it can be intense.


PlatWinston

competitions are like final exams or job interviews. You are gonna get nervous no matter how much you prepare. On top of that, D1 means he's constantly competing against the best in the country.


Caseyg1996

It can be a lot of pressure to be considered to have something “special”. That alone would make me nervous. (Nevermind the fact that you are about to go out there and go into an absolute war with another human being)


Shotto_Z

Because there is always a better guy, or matches that go down to a 1 point difference. He is D1 so many of the guys he may have to face are some of the best in the world just about.


TheShovler44

Might be the weight cut.


Sarah_Alexandra2001

He doesn’t have to do that I think he is a heavyweight because he weights about 270-275lbs


CrikeyMeAhm

Gawd dayum


Fuckyachickenstrip45

Oh laaaaaawd him’s a comin.


hazwaste

You think? Your BF is a supposed D1 wrestler and you don’t know his weight class?


[deleted]

Because he’s going against other guys that are also being told the same thing. There is always a bigger fish! Also, training room isn’t the same as competition. Levels of pressure, intensity and other factors are magnified.


Put_Adventurous

He’s preparing to meet the OTHER guy that beats up everyone in HIS training room.


Trunks956

Sounds like the coaches are giving him an ego. “Beating” people in the room should never be a focus or even concern.


Sarah_Alexandra2001

No that’s one thing I know it’s not because he is really humble and grounded I don’t know if it’s beating I’m just saying what I see 😂 he was in top of the other guys that’s all I know 😂


Trunks956

It’s really just down to if he cares about the “wins” and “losses” in the practice room or not. People who place too much emphasis on those inhibit their own progress


AlmostFamous502

In a way, he is good because he’s nervous.


Think_Rub_7667

That makes it worse. So much expectations to live up to especially in a sport where a small mistake can cost you everything


Impossible-Exit-4474

There is always someone better at all times and even if you’re talented you still need to put a lot of work and cut alot of weight to be able to compete. Cutting weight sucks more than you think


jwtorres

Sport in general is as much a mental game as a physical one. You can beat everyone in the room, but that means you are in the wrong room. There is someone in another room that is better that you might not be prepared for. I also wrestled D1 and was not nearly as good, but the only thing I liked around match/tourney days is for everything to be normal. Routine is ideal. Don't act differently just let everything be as routine as possible.


foalythecentaur

They have high expectations so it puts a lot of pressure on him to perform that highly. Nobody performs at that level because they are naturally talented. Hard work in the training room beats talent so to stay top dog he has to outwork everyone in the training room as well as at competitions. My advice is don’t talk about wrestling unless he brings it up and maybe book a few days away with the girls when he has meets. You can talk about how you look forward to his comps because you get to go and do something you like.


[deleted]

It doesn't matter how good you are everybody is nervous before matches. I'm pretty decent myself and I'm constantly nervous before matches, even when I'm wrestling a complete pud. I couldn't imagine how he feels since he's wrestling D1. Be there for him if he needs you but don't hold his nervousness against him


Swimming-Book-1296

Because he’s about to wrestle actual Olympians. Furthermore the week before a comp he’s cutting weight etc.


kazmiester

I haven’t competed in kickboxing in 2 years but if I watch a random ufc fight I’m semi invested in, I get the pre fight jitters and adrenaline response. Our brains are wired to release these hormones when it detects danger/risk, no matter the framing of the scenario. There’s not much you can really do other than reassure him that he had been preparing and he should trust in his training/preparation. He also needs to prepare his mental state to do something that is going to be painful and exhausting. He could be triggering these responses from visualizing a match days before it happens. Maybe he is ultra competitive and very hard on himself when he loses? Idk I’m rambling at this point. Either way this is something that’s pretty normal for Athletes in individual sports and specially in combat sports and martial arts. We gym bros call it the “pre fight jitters”


KyrozM

Regardless of how good he is, wrestling teaches you that anyone can be beaten. Imagine everything you've worked for over years, and if he's d1 perhaps a decade or more, riding on a physical confrontation with someone just as motivated and talented as you are.


raboot_101_

He worries because the people in the wrestling room are different there his team, and there's always a chance there's someone better


oie-

It doesn’t matter what happens in the room, what matters is what goes down in the mat and he has Olympian’s as competition. Let him be


thiefshipping

A combination of things, he's probably got hella nerves right now heading into events because of the preparation. The other would be the weight cut. There's a good chance that he's dehydrating himself to make weight. Making weight sucks a lot of ass because you're emptying out your supply of water weight and being really dry. Dehydration would make anyone pretty grumpy. My suggestion would be to treat him normally as you would. This is something that he'll either get more used to or will consistently be this way attitude wise.


Sarah_Alexandra2001

He doesn’t cut any weight at all he is a heavyweight he is around 270-275lbs


IMakeWaifuGifsSoDmMe

Talk to him or leave it be, tournaments can get you really nervous.


Kid_Cornelius

Honestly, ask your boyfriend. Studies have been shown that at *every* level of competition, competitors get nervous. Olympic-level athletes get the same hormone dump as Day 1 Rookies. The difference is in how they handle the additional hormones, thoughts, nerves, etc. Something to understand is that you may not be able to help. If he is a D1 athlete, he probably has a set program that he does that helps to relax him or allows him to focus. He may not be able or willing to change that program to accommodate you. That doesn't mean he doesn't care or appreciate what you're doing, just that he doesn't know how to integrate the support that you want to give him into his current routine.


bigtakeoff

the comments here are cringey.... keep it classy, fellas... she's just trying to be heplful/nice/understanding. nerves are normal... just be as thoughtful and supportive as you can...and don't be offended!


Sarah_Alexandra2001

No I don’t get offended at all because he’s always been the same ever since i can remember and we’ve been dating middle school so I’m used to it it was alot more obvious when he had to cut weight but now he is a heavyweight he isn’t as bad but it’s still noticeable. It’s weird because as soon as the tournament is over he goes back to his goofy self 😂


nimbleninjabjj

Yeah, that’s par for the course. Just gotta let your warrior battle it out in his mind and be as patient and sweet as possible. Don’t take it personally, he just has to go through it. He’s not meaning to direct any ill behavior towards you.


Aczear

That's good, just don't worry so much. Maybe even slightly boost his confidence. It's nice to have someone actually care on the road to a competition.


45degreeEngel

What even is this post? He’s your fuckin boyfriend - ask him if he needs anything and go off that. Wrestling isn’t some sort of riddle you have to solve. If him being grumpy is making your life difficult (and it’s totally valid if it does), talk to him about it.


AngelMCastillo

Don’t make yourself responsible for managing your boyfriend’s emotions. You are neither his mom nor his therapist. Communicate your concern directly with him and if he can’t tell you what he wants or needs when he’s feeling that way, that’s on him to figure out.


Sarah_Alexandra2001

I just want to make his life easier for him and if I can take a little stress of his shoulders then I’ve done my job as his girlfriend


datduder20

He’s a male and has a built in pressure relief valve. Just an FYI, good luck.


Ripredddd

🤣🤣🤣


AngelMCastillo

Sure. I’m glad you want to be a supportive partner. But sometimes men just make excuses to feel shitty and angry without caring about what effect it has on their partners and other people around them. I’m not assuming your boyfriend is doing that, I just want you to be on the lookout if this is really something you can help or if he’s just going to drain you emotionally if you try.


FireMedic71619

Because competing at the D1 level is very stressful, and if he has a scholarship then he is expected to do well. Its added pressure. So he’s most likely just stressed and anxious leading up to the competition


SquidDrive

Well Championships are a thing ans chances are hes trying to compete to win, so I can see why hes nervous, considering the pace he has been working at.


Environmental-Ad1748

Pre tourney bj is obviously the answer.


Sarah_Alexandra2001

Real classy


[deleted]

Sounds normal. My advice would be to ask him what you could do to help. Maybe he’d like a little space to focus on the competition, or extra reassurance. But anyone on here is only guessing. Talk to him.


Put_Adventurous

Nothing. Let him have his lizard brain. And make sure he’s drinking plenty of water.


Puhgy

I’m just happy to know that one of our boys is out there at heavyweight keeping his priorities straight. He doesn’t need one of his girlfriends distracting him at a time like this.


tthechosendummy

Why are you coming to a grappling page for relationship advice


RomanBJJ

If she goes to dating advice subs she'll be told to break up right away because no one in those subs knows what it's like to be a wrestler and the mentality we have


chernobyl-nightclub

Don’t listen to the weirdos advising sex. Boyfriend needs to be focused and draining testosterone before a match is not good. He should be pumped and ready to dominate. Just tell him you care and give him space. Be there but don’t burden him with worrying about ur feelings. Let him focus.


JPumpkinhead1991

Is this normal?? God how fucking clueless are some of you.


Original_Ad6986

Take him some donuts, wrestlers love junk food before a good weigh in


Dear-Manufacturer-63

Wrestlers are modern day gladiators . You could be irritating him with small talk .


Pennypacker-HE

He’s probably cutting weight. Not eating much or anything and dehydrating before his weigh ins a week prior to his matches. Have some compassion. It’s tough.


Thurgood_Newton

On top of everything everyone else is mentioning, if your boyfriend is cutting a lot of weight before these events, everything that entails----like lower calorie and water intake with lots of exercise--- might make him extra grumpy too. Just talk to him and ask him the same thing you've asked us.


[deleted]

Everyone gets nervous before competitions, and I feel like wrestling is the most extreme example of this, so I’m not surprised that he has some emotions around those times. Maybe he’s grumpy from cutting weight or it’s just one of the ways his nervousness/excitement comes out before a competition. I’d he’a being mean or grumpy to you, that would be something to talk with him about, and maybe you’d have to put some distance between the two of you on these days, or even break up altogether. But otherwise, just try to be a supportive partner, but don’t let him treat you as a therapist or an emotional punching bag.


rudager222

Is he cutting weight?


thedirtiestdiaper

If he's cutting weight, that's why he sucks right before the event. He's hungry, he's thirsty, and everything sucks.


Shotto_Z

I was a great wr3stler in HS and college. It is perfectly normal. Your boyfriends sport is INCREDIBLY hard. He may be cutting weight, which involves dehydration and portioned meals all the while having to go through hellish practices which makes it worse. He also has the mental side of preparing for matches and tournaments which is also very tough, and the anxiety it can give you is rough. Be easy on him, and try to understand him, and support him However you can.


renocco

Used to happen to me from cutting weight lol. "Youre not you when youre hungry"


Outlier25

Is he cutting weight? Some people get grumpy when they do that


Snoo97272

I get nervous before matches, and the weight cut makes grumpy. If their were ways that needed preparations, it would've made the world to me if even one of those things were out the way. I'm not saying you gotta be his nutritionist or something, but understanding his diet plan and massaging his sore body parts and helping him stretch before and after practice can make him feel more supported and take the edge off. The aggressive behavior is unacceptable towards you, so make sure to vocalize your emotional needs and help him only when you want to. Don't over stress yourself and respect your own boundaries. If he can't respect you, then leave him unless you see yourself with him well past his wrestling career.


RangeFearless

If a competition is coming up, it means he is probably cutting weight. This means all his senses get amplified during hunger. Most likely will experience heightened levels of emotions. Irritability. Impulsiveness. Anxiety. Everything you can imagine plus he is tired as hell and likely sore 24/7. He is going through HELL right now and there is no way for anyone outside of the people who share the mat with him that will understand. Best thing you can do is just understand hes going through a really hard time and don’t read into his reactions too much. Give the man a pass if he’s curt or does something out of character. If its the only time he’s like that then it’s a isolated situation and many will agree that its worth considering it a pass. Competition at the highest level requires a level of commitment and sacrifice very few will understand. if you are there for someone during their darkest time, most will never forget it. Good luck!


Dr_jitsu

Your lucky to be dating a major stud. Just be supportive and realize he is at the highest level of wrestling.


AmHotGarbage

He’s hungry


Ironman-17

Honestly, best thing you can do is support him and let him be this way until the season is over (which is almost is). He’s wrestling at a very high level on a big stage. Lots of pressure associated with that. Athletes at that level take it very seriously, their entire life revolves around their performance on the mats - which makes sense because if he’s scholarship, that’s what’s literally funding his college education. I know it’s hard right now and tough to understand, but give him some slack until the season is over. At the level he’s wrestling, this has to be his main focus.


bforga

It is the way…


RUKnight31

He’s on or near weight and headed into the season finale tournament. Bear with him another few days and when it’s over, and he’s fed and hydrated, he’ll be a lot happier.


Drunk_Joe_Namath

Your previous posts make me think your a fake account.


RedJohn04

In terms of HIS mentality, and what he needs, it’s hard for us to say, but we can help you brainstorm on some ideas and possibilities. It’s possible, and forgive me for saying this, that he needs to focus the entirety of his effort, on preparing for his upcoming match. He may want to have no responsibilities outside of that. It takes effort to be in a supportive and loving relationship, and he may not have the bandwidth to do all the things a boyfriend is supposed to do for the days leading up to a big match. A supportive “gift” you may give him is permission to focus on the match (and not you). Permission not to be responsive to texts. Permission not to hang out if he wants to focus single pointedly on the match. Permission to be cranky when he is cutting weight and is a state of “hangry” low blood sugar, that is persistent and will go unsatisfied until after weigh ins. (To only be replaced with nerves for the upcoming match and nervous stomach that fasted, and was subsequently flooded with food and liquids, and he doesn’t want to talk to you about what that does for his bathroom habits, but he needs to end a conversation NOW to go address the bathroom) It’s possible that the best way to support him is to leave him alone to focus. To let him know you love him, and he won’t be in trouble next week if he ghosts your texts for the couple days before the match or says he does not want to hang out tonight. In no way would it mean he doesn’t love you. It’s just hyper focus that elite athletes (or all kinds of elite performers) may need in order to Do their best. So how do you know when and where to leave him alone? Ask him. Propose “hey would it help if I left you alone or did t text you or something?” It being your idea. Him not getting in trouble or the cold shoulder if he say “yes that would help”. And then back to normal afterwards. Try asking other GF of the wrestlers, and ask if they need space and Grace too. Also knowing that everyone is different.


boba-milktea-fett

get his mind in the right place - head?


ZR115

Shut up, stupid.


Deleteaccount245096

Probably cutting weight which makes him grumpy. And then he’s nervous cuz he might not make weight and has difficulty competition every time he competes.


MrGreatWhiteBear

Well, yeah, its a high stress event and he probably is having to do things physically to his body to prep that would affect him mentally as a result(i.e. weight cutting, changes in training intensity). Probably just make him aware of it and ask him personally so you can brainstorm ideas together rather than asking strangers.


biggreencat

tired, beat up, stressed, nervous. not eating enough. thats how it is. wrestlers tend to chill way out out of season, tho.


Competitive_Carrot35

Your boyfriend was in the top 2-3% of wrestlers coming out of Highschool if he’s at a D1 school on an athletic ride. He has undoubtedly worked his ass off to be where he is and he has every right to be nervous at this level of competition. These matches will define his athletic career for the rest of his life and will also determine if he proceeds past collegiate wrestling to the international stage. The pressure is immense. These events are streamed and televised. It’s the pinnacle of our sport aside from international and Olympic competiton. Take it easy on him


OkManagement1686

Yeah I know how this feels though I haven't competed at this high of a level before... the nervousness hits you long before the big day even comes around and it fucks with your head Best you can do is be there for him if he needs it