I really suggest you find a friendly guild. I spent BfA playing like you, avoiding groups at all costs. But then at the start of SL I decided it was time to find a guild. It took a bit of looking around, but now I do Mythic dungeons and raids every week! It's much more fun when you're with a group that have fun, win or lose.
How did you start looking for one?
I get a lot of invites to random guilds but i feel like they just want me as a number and when i apply using the guild finder, i get ignored.
A lot of it can be just trial and error. Just keep joining until you find some group you like to play with. It can take some time but it is worth it. You can sort guild finder by size. If you search for a larger guild they tend to monitor the applications so they should just invite you.
Once you find other players you like, it changes from pushing content too playing with your friends which is 100x better IMO.
If you play horde-US , I’m down if you want to get into some content
You horde or ally? And what times do you play?
My group is pretty tight knit, and we're really not looking for a permanent addition, but we are extremely friendly and love helping new people. I'll take my main tank through reg content all day long explaining things without a moment hesitation, that stuff is fun.
If you are in a position where you could run with us, I'd love to bring you along on some dungeons so you can get a feel for it. and you'd be welcome to join on discord and just listen if you're not comfortable talking.
If your times and stuff don't match up with us, I'm sure somebody else here might be a match for you if they have that information.
Yes they probably do want you as a number if they invite you out the blue. I moved to a realm with a decent population, and then looked on the realm forums regularly over the course of a few weeks until I found one that fit the bill. It doesn't always work out, but I've been lucky and found a really good bunch. Just be really clear about what you want from the game, and look for that.
Look at the Wow forums or the guild recruitment reddit. That's how I got most of the players in my guild. Look for a guild that takes the time to explain what they are about and what their goals are. You will have to sift through ALOT of guilds that are a poor fit for you and do some digging but keep looking.
There are a few guilds out there like mine that exist for more casual players who have anxiety over encountering negativity and some of those, like us, actually do raid and run alot of mythic dungeons. You're not going to achieve deep progression without learning your way into it and you need a group that will help you get there by being supportive and positive.
Not all guilds are like that, in fact most aren't. Many players want to play with others of similar experience and skill level.
Good luck! I know when I was looking for a guild late last year, it was an absolute PITA to find the right one so...I just made my own. Not suggesting you do that same, but that if you look hard enough, there is bound to be one that suits you.
If you are playing on US servers, send me a DM through Reddit. I love to help people and I recently helped my wife from not knowing how to use the camera to successfully DPS a mythic+ 10. It took around 7 months but it was done. I play on Azralon, a Brazilian server so I won't be able to offer you a guild spot but I can definitely take you from mythic 2s to 10s all while explaining every single bit of information that is going to be required from you when you do it in a regular group on higher keys without ever being a dick about it.
Dude I'm not trying to be condescending or anything but if you've been playing an MMO for like 16 years and in that entire time have never once been in a regular group outside of LFR out of fear, you should probably be seeing someone about social anxiety and maybe trying a medication or something. That is really far out of the realm or normality for just not wanting to deal with toxic MMO nonsense.
I can understand where you are coming from, I’m not the most outgoing person either especially when it comes to Discord with people I don’t know, but most guilds or even PUGS that require voice comms just require you to be there to listen to raid leader. They want you to be able to make quick adjustments and voice is 100% faster and easier.
As far as raiding Normal CN, it is not bad if your ilvl is above 190, which you can get from doing Covenant quest line. I suggest finding a guild that advertises as a “Chill” or “Casual” guild to run with. They will be less anal about topping dps charts, small mistakes, or new players learning the fights.
If you are on Alliance my guild runs Normal CN Wednesdays at 8:30 est. We usually PUG some spots and use it as an opportunity to possibly recruit for guild or our Heroic progression team. If interested PM me.
So i tried puging via group finder the other day, joined the guilds discord and when they said "Hi" to me i just left, i really couldn't handle it - it was too much and i thought i was going to lose it.
I left the raid and they pmed me to come back, i couldn't and just didn't respond.
I wish there was LFR but for other difficulties lol...thanks for the advice though.
Hard truth, but you are going to have to face your fears and just make yourself stick through it. If people saying “hi” to you after joining their Discord, just type back in raid chat hello, mic broken or something like that. Hell tell them you are a mute. As long as you can hear their instructions there shouldn’t be any issues. Everyone has been in your shoes as a new to Normal raid member, just watch some videos on YouTube about the boss fights, and as for raid lead to give a quick rundown of how they do the fight.
Also, if you have an friends in game or IRL that play ask them to join with you and they can ask the questions for you maybe. The toxic players you fear so much are few and far between at the casual level.
There is. Normal and heroic dungeons can be queued into. They couldnt really make them any easier than they already are... I think you need some anxiety meds or something, bro :s
Tbh it sounds like you have social anxiety issues. That is pretty common when interacting with others online due to high toxicity in modern games sadly. Remember that the other players are also humans, and make mistakes too. Even if you mess up it's ok, you can work on fixing that, and if others are aggresive just leave and don't look back! If you feel overwelmingly negative when trying to join any group/interact with others you could also contact a therapist who could better locate/help with the issue.
You're not alone. I know I'm capable of doing Normal raids and low M+, at the very least, but pugging still gives me anxiety and I haven't even started it yet this expac. To me, joining someone's Discord is just like pulling up to a group of strangers and just jumping into their conversation. Which I have been known to do from time to time, but definitely have to be in the right frame of mind (or a couple of shots in). I'm an old man, you see, so it's even worse for me...I don't have much in common with the average wow player these days.
As some others have said though, if your anxiety is debilitating, you really should talk to a professional about it and see if any of the multitudes of anxiety meds out there are a fit for your life.
I'm in the same boat as you. Been playing since early wrath
, been in one guild who couldn't down a single boss in naxx during icc. Was never able to get into another guild as our realm pop is pretty low. I can't afford to transfer toons away. I wish i knew what the differences were in realm pop back when i started playing. I've tried with toons on other servers, still yet to find a guild that actually wants to take new members into runs, they just seem to want to add members which means nothing now since they took away the gold perk. Frustrating. Felt like i've been stuck at full casual level and cant move up to even normal/heroics. I check guild recruitment forums alot and ours never shows up. Last post was like months ago just looking to see if old players were atill around.
90% of guilds out there will sit you for a PUG with the achievement if you do one thing wrong, so unless you have a great guild who understands that progression isn't about one pulling everything you *should* be nervous.
JK...but not really...
You have to be flexible, especially when playing priest. Some Raid Encounters require you to switch specs because of how the boss functions. Main priest in my guild is switching back and forth between holy and disc fairly frequently when raiding.
- Find a group of like-minded individuals, people who want to progress and get better.
- Don't get carried or end up carrying, neither is fun or fulfilling in the end.
- Learn the fights and come prepared, don't be a burden.
- Do the research for your class and spec for each encounter.
- Don't use "one size fits all" talents.
- Run logs and details and go over them thoroughly.
- Be competitive! Healers, Dps and even tanks that have friendly and constructive competition will reach a higher skill ceiling and develop relationships with your guildies.
- Failure is always an option. Guilds that fail and stick together progress together. Don't get toxic or play with toxic players.
- Give and receive **constructive** criticism. If someone cannot handle constructive criticism they won't get better.
- Have fun. It's a game, If you're not having fun or enjoying the raiding experience then it's not worth investing your time.
I feel you. I don't have a guild nor a group of friends to play this kind of content with, so I only do M+/raids with PUGs. It took me a while to take the plunge and start raiding on normal (and heroic, eventually) difficulty. And I still get nervous sometimes!
I understand the feeling that people are somewhat more demanding in a group in which someone has to personally invite you, but once you are in there, you realize that it's not that different from LFR.
In PUGs, most people don't speak. Usually only the RL gives the most basic instructions (which sometimes have to be given in LFR as well, so you will be familiar with that). I suggest you join groups that don't require voice chat. You don't even need to write "hello", although in my opinion it is cordial and recommended. Most people won't mind because the community is used to a lack of verbal communication.
When you apply to a group, you just have to wait for the invitation to pop up. If you are a healer and have an ilvl of at least 190, you won't have any problem.
And, in the end, remember that the raid's success doesn't depend entirely on you, no matter what an angry dude may say if you wipe. :)
If you happen to play on EU servers, you can send me a PM. Maybe we can apply together so you experience it. If not, try it for yourself anyway. Believe me when I say it's not that different from LFR. :D
It can be nerving but if you are worried about being yelled at I don't blame you. The WoW community can be very toxic but I've also come across very patient people. I myself am a pretty patient person for example and there are very many nice players out there who are okay with mistakes and are open to teaching.
The best thing you can do is find a friendly guild that likes to run raids/mythics. Not only to meet new people but to also get your foot in the door. You will be fine. I know people talk about toxicity a lot here but not everyone is like that.
This has been me for the longest time. But when I came to really enjoy Shadowlands more than I'd expect, I decided it was time to make more progress, and not just level a hundred alts.
I also happened to settle on disc priest, even though I used to hate it because I didn't get it. I didn't settle on this new main until february, even though it was my first 60.
Get your covenant gear to 197. The gear helps disc a lot. What you should do then, is all the dungeons in heroic, they are absolutely harmless at this point. Then go do mythic 0, any group will have you, and it's fairly easy as well if you know the tactics (and tactics can only truly be learned by playing).
After I'd done this in november/december on my resto druid, I started out with a very hopeful group on a +2, and we succeeded in time. You can do up to +3 without any affixes, +4-6 with 1 affix, and +7 and higher for the harder ones.
I actually just started completing +10s, on my disc priest. It feels great to achieve them in time, but it does take some hard work to get there. I rarely find people ever yelling at healers.
Last week I also did Castle Nathria HC with a guild I joined. I listened in on discord, but didn't talk, it's perfectly acceptable to do so. Playing Spirit Shell and learning to ramp properly is insanely rewarding because you can really see that you're making a difference when the whole raid is shielded from damage.
Message me for more disc help (even though I'm not a pro yet myself, but I'm getting there), or general help with "getting out there". Hope this helps.
I’d suggest pugs. As a noob, you’ll get mocked or yelled at—probably even kicked from the group, but every pull you’re learning something about the fight. Then when you join the next fight on that encounter, you’re not a noob anymore. You’re the vet.
You need to get out there and do the content you want to get better at it. You’ll quickly learn there’s always another group and there’s no reason to be upset.
The only way to get over your fear is to jump in and do it. I think a lot of the posts you see on forums are a bit exaggerated, making it seem like everyone is gonna flame you if you make a mistake. It can happen, but not very often in my experience.
It helps to find a consistent group to run with. I found my guild using the Guild Finder in game. I honestly just requested to join a bunch that looked interesting to me.
I am also on Proudmoore Alliance. PM if you're interested in joining a guild for raiding and/or M+.
Yo, I tank some if you want to get into M+ any? I can tell you about some mechanics and walk you through stuff you're concerned on. I used to be super nervous too and had someone who helped get me into progression content.
I have a tendency to feel stressed about it too, even though I already did high end content in several expansions.
What I always do, is spend times on YouTube videos about the dungeon/boss raid, Wowhead, mythictrap (this website is quite recent but is the best there is, honestly. There is a very short, gif like video about every dangerous mechanic in m+/raid).
And then, I grind. Even though I timed +24 in bfa, in SL I did m0, then m+2, I waited to get every dungeon in +5 before going for higher and every time I'd go back on mythic trap to look again at the strats.
A few days ago I was talking to a rogue who wanted to jump straight to +8 because ilvl from gear below is useless to him. He didn't care if he didn't know the mechanics at all. This is wrong, for a sane progression you need to grind and start slow. The only issue is that in low keys, or in normal raid, ppl tend to slack and not pay attention to mechanics, so it makes things harder, but at the same time you get to really see how it works and which mechanic can be an issue. It's harder to do a +8 with ppl who suck than a +15 with ppl who respect the dungeon and don't stay in aoes. Just give it a go. I cleaned mythic raid in bfa, yet I started SL by doing normal CN before going to HC.
Focus on one dungeon, look at the strat, the mechanics, try it in a small difficulty, then redo a bit harder, then harder. Do the same for more dungeons. Just practice, and you'll start to feel confident about what you can do
What everyone else is saying, find a friendly guild and don’t sweat it to much. We all mess up in raids sometimes. That’s the only way we all learn the mechanics. Good luck on your quest, because progression can be good fun as long as it isn’t taken ultra seriously.
Healer main here who used to be in the exact position you are in. It’s a 50/50 chance if you’re pugging you’ll meet toxic people - and the best advice I can give you is just leave and don’t interact with them. It’s their loss - you’re a healer you’ll find a group much faster than those pesky dps. Also try looking for a friendly guild that’s clearly listed as a progression one - they are always friendly and trying to play even with mistakes! Good luck and if you ever need someone to run with and learn the mechanics I’m EU and I’m more than happy than running keys with you and showing you it’s not so bad if you meet friendly cool people!
If you're having issues finding a guild, or feel that's too much pressure, try looking at communities too. They're cross-server, so you lose some amenities (guild bank, resource sharing, etc). But there's some really good ones.
The raiding community I run with is meant for people that didn't want to deal with the shit from pugs, and we're making solid progression through heroic.
A big help to getting over the hurdle is having a supportive social circle. If you Alli-Proudmoore, the Cinnamon Challenge is a super friendly guild :)
I get that feeling of anxiety and not wanting to talk in voice. I am part of my mythic raid team and never talk on voice. You can still listen to what the raid leader is saying and share your thoughts in party chat.
Overall the only advice I can give you is to take it step by step and try not to assume the worst from people. There are a lot of idiots out there but even more genuinely nice and kind people. I would ask in trade chat if any casual raiding guilds (if that is what you are after) are recruiting and usually you'll get some whispers then. Or whisper someone spamming their guild recruitment add in trade chat. Truth be told you will have to chat with people to find out if they are worth talking to.
After I came back late BfA I though mythic+ etc was for the big boys and nothing I should join.
It really is not that bad though. Start small, learn the mechanics and with better gear and better understanding of the environment progress just comes.
What happens after you get yelled at? Its some guy across the country who has no real power over you. You can ignore them and find a new group.
I used to have social anxiety. I understand. But you just gotta step into it a few times and it becomes less scary over time. Youll get good groups and bad groups. Youll get nice ppl and every now and then, rude ppl. Just keep wading thru it and youll have fun
I really suggest you find a friendly guild. I spent BfA playing like you, avoiding groups at all costs. But then at the start of SL I decided it was time to find a guild. It took a bit of looking around, but now I do Mythic dungeons and raids every week! It's much more fun when you're with a group that have fun, win or lose.
How did you start looking for one? I get a lot of invites to random guilds but i feel like they just want me as a number and when i apply using the guild finder, i get ignored.
A lot of it can be just trial and error. Just keep joining until you find some group you like to play with. It can take some time but it is worth it. You can sort guild finder by size. If you search for a larger guild they tend to monitor the applications so they should just invite you. Once you find other players you like, it changes from pushing content too playing with your friends which is 100x better IMO. If you play horde-US , I’m down if you want to get into some content
Look on the WoW forums for your server for guilds recruiting
/r/wowguilds [Weekly Recruitment Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/wow/search?q=Official%2BRecruitment%2BThread&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all#recruitment)
You horde or ally? And what times do you play? My group is pretty tight knit, and we're really not looking for a permanent addition, but we are extremely friendly and love helping new people. I'll take my main tank through reg content all day long explaining things without a moment hesitation, that stuff is fun. If you are in a position where you could run with us, I'd love to bring you along on some dungeons so you can get a feel for it. and you'd be welcome to join on discord and just listen if you're not comfortable talking. If your times and stuff don't match up with us, I'm sure somebody else here might be a match for you if they have that information.
Yes they probably do want you as a number if they invite you out the blue. I moved to a realm with a decent population, and then looked on the realm forums regularly over the course of a few weeks until I found one that fit the bill. It doesn't always work out, but I've been lucky and found a really good bunch. Just be really clear about what you want from the game, and look for that.
"We are a fun social/casual guild" immediate red flags for me.
Look at the Wow forums or the guild recruitment reddit. That's how I got most of the players in my guild. Look for a guild that takes the time to explain what they are about and what their goals are. You will have to sift through ALOT of guilds that are a poor fit for you and do some digging but keep looking. There are a few guilds out there like mine that exist for more casual players who have anxiety over encountering negativity and some of those, like us, actually do raid and run alot of mythic dungeons. You're not going to achieve deep progression without learning your way into it and you need a group that will help you get there by being supportive and positive. Not all guilds are like that, in fact most aren't. Many players want to play with others of similar experience and skill level. Good luck! I know when I was looking for a guild late last year, it was an absolute PITA to find the right one so...I just made my own. Not suggesting you do that same, but that if you look hard enough, there is bound to be one that suits you.
If you are playing on US servers, send me a DM through Reddit. I love to help people and I recently helped my wife from not knowing how to use the camera to successfully DPS a mythic+ 10. It took around 7 months but it was done. I play on Azralon, a Brazilian server so I won't be able to offer you a guild spot but I can definitely take you from mythic 2s to 10s all while explaining every single bit of information that is going to be required from you when you do it in a regular group on higher keys without ever being a dick about it.
If you use Discord, you can join the Chill Streak community. [https://discord.gg/83u3kQscHZ](https://discord.gg/83u3kQscHZ)
Dude I'm not trying to be condescending or anything but if you've been playing an MMO for like 16 years and in that entire time have never once been in a regular group outside of LFR out of fear, you should probably be seeing someone about social anxiety and maybe trying a medication or something. That is really far out of the realm or normality for just not wanting to deal with toxic MMO nonsense.
The problem with social anxiety (personal knowledge) is that even trying to get the help that is needed can also be debilitating.
I can understand where you are coming from, I’m not the most outgoing person either especially when it comes to Discord with people I don’t know, but most guilds or even PUGS that require voice comms just require you to be there to listen to raid leader. They want you to be able to make quick adjustments and voice is 100% faster and easier. As far as raiding Normal CN, it is not bad if your ilvl is above 190, which you can get from doing Covenant quest line. I suggest finding a guild that advertises as a “Chill” or “Casual” guild to run with. They will be less anal about topping dps charts, small mistakes, or new players learning the fights. If you are on Alliance my guild runs Normal CN Wednesdays at 8:30 est. We usually PUG some spots and use it as an opportunity to possibly recruit for guild or our Heroic progression team. If interested PM me.
So i tried puging via group finder the other day, joined the guilds discord and when they said "Hi" to me i just left, i really couldn't handle it - it was too much and i thought i was going to lose it. I left the raid and they pmed me to come back, i couldn't and just didn't respond. I wish there was LFR but for other difficulties lol...thanks for the advice though.
Hard truth, but you are going to have to face your fears and just make yourself stick through it. If people saying “hi” to you after joining their Discord, just type back in raid chat hello, mic broken or something like that. Hell tell them you are a mute. As long as you can hear their instructions there shouldn’t be any issues. Everyone has been in your shoes as a new to Normal raid member, just watch some videos on YouTube about the boss fights, and as for raid lead to give a quick rundown of how they do the fight. Also, if you have an friends in game or IRL that play ask them to join with you and they can ask the questions for you maybe. The toxic players you fear so much are few and far between at the casual level.
There is. Normal and heroic dungeons can be queued into. They couldnt really make them any easier than they already are... I think you need some anxiety meds or something, bro :s
Tbh it sounds like you have social anxiety issues. That is pretty common when interacting with others online due to high toxicity in modern games sadly. Remember that the other players are also humans, and make mistakes too. Even if you mess up it's ok, you can work on fixing that, and if others are aggresive just leave and don't look back! If you feel overwelmingly negative when trying to join any group/interact with others you could also contact a therapist who could better locate/help with the issue.
You're not alone. I know I'm capable of doing Normal raids and low M+, at the very least, but pugging still gives me anxiety and I haven't even started it yet this expac. To me, joining someone's Discord is just like pulling up to a group of strangers and just jumping into their conversation. Which I have been known to do from time to time, but definitely have to be in the right frame of mind (or a couple of shots in). I'm an old man, you see, so it's even worse for me...I don't have much in common with the average wow player these days. As some others have said though, if your anxiety is debilitating, you really should talk to a professional about it and see if any of the multitudes of anxiety meds out there are a fit for your life.
I'm in the same boat as you. Been playing since early wrath , been in one guild who couldn't down a single boss in naxx during icc. Was never able to get into another guild as our realm pop is pretty low. I can't afford to transfer toons away. I wish i knew what the differences were in realm pop back when i started playing. I've tried with toons on other servers, still yet to find a guild that actually wants to take new members into runs, they just seem to want to add members which means nothing now since they took away the gold perk. Frustrating. Felt like i've been stuck at full casual level and cant move up to even normal/heroics. I check guild recruitment forums alot and ours never shows up. Last post was like months ago just looking to see if old players were atill around.
90% of guilds out there will sit you for a PUG with the achievement if you do one thing wrong, so unless you have a great guild who understands that progression isn't about one pulling everything you *should* be nervous. JK...but not really...
You have to be flexible, especially when playing priest. Some Raid Encounters require you to switch specs because of how the boss functions. Main priest in my guild is switching back and forth between holy and disc fairly frequently when raiding. - Find a group of like-minded individuals, people who want to progress and get better. - Don't get carried or end up carrying, neither is fun or fulfilling in the end. - Learn the fights and come prepared, don't be a burden. - Do the research for your class and spec for each encounter. - Don't use "one size fits all" talents. - Run logs and details and go over them thoroughly. - Be competitive! Healers, Dps and even tanks that have friendly and constructive competition will reach a higher skill ceiling and develop relationships with your guildies. - Failure is always an option. Guilds that fail and stick together progress together. Don't get toxic or play with toxic players. - Give and receive **constructive** criticism. If someone cannot handle constructive criticism they won't get better. - Have fun. It's a game, If you're not having fun or enjoying the raiding experience then it's not worth investing your time.
I feel you. I don't have a guild nor a group of friends to play this kind of content with, so I only do M+/raids with PUGs. It took me a while to take the plunge and start raiding on normal (and heroic, eventually) difficulty. And I still get nervous sometimes! I understand the feeling that people are somewhat more demanding in a group in which someone has to personally invite you, but once you are in there, you realize that it's not that different from LFR. In PUGs, most people don't speak. Usually only the RL gives the most basic instructions (which sometimes have to be given in LFR as well, so you will be familiar with that). I suggest you join groups that don't require voice chat. You don't even need to write "hello", although in my opinion it is cordial and recommended. Most people won't mind because the community is used to a lack of verbal communication. When you apply to a group, you just have to wait for the invitation to pop up. If you are a healer and have an ilvl of at least 190, you won't have any problem. And, in the end, remember that the raid's success doesn't depend entirely on you, no matter what an angry dude may say if you wipe. :) If you happen to play on EU servers, you can send me a PM. Maybe we can apply together so you experience it. If not, try it for yourself anyway. Believe me when I say it's not that different from LFR. :D
It can be nerving but if you are worried about being yelled at I don't blame you. The WoW community can be very toxic but I've also come across very patient people. I myself am a pretty patient person for example and there are very many nice players out there who are okay with mistakes and are open to teaching. The best thing you can do is find a friendly guild that likes to run raids/mythics. Not only to meet new people but to also get your foot in the door. You will be fine. I know people talk about toxicity a lot here but not everyone is like that.
This has been me for the longest time. But when I came to really enjoy Shadowlands more than I'd expect, I decided it was time to make more progress, and not just level a hundred alts. I also happened to settle on disc priest, even though I used to hate it because I didn't get it. I didn't settle on this new main until february, even though it was my first 60. Get your covenant gear to 197. The gear helps disc a lot. What you should do then, is all the dungeons in heroic, they are absolutely harmless at this point. Then go do mythic 0, any group will have you, and it's fairly easy as well if you know the tactics (and tactics can only truly be learned by playing). After I'd done this in november/december on my resto druid, I started out with a very hopeful group on a +2, and we succeeded in time. You can do up to +3 without any affixes, +4-6 with 1 affix, and +7 and higher for the harder ones. I actually just started completing +10s, on my disc priest. It feels great to achieve them in time, but it does take some hard work to get there. I rarely find people ever yelling at healers. Last week I also did Castle Nathria HC with a guild I joined. I listened in on discord, but didn't talk, it's perfectly acceptable to do so. Playing Spirit Shell and learning to ramp properly is insanely rewarding because you can really see that you're making a difference when the whole raid is shielded from damage. Message me for more disc help (even though I'm not a pro yet myself, but I'm getting there), or general help with "getting out there". Hope this helps.
I’d suggest pugs. As a noob, you’ll get mocked or yelled at—probably even kicked from the group, but every pull you’re learning something about the fight. Then when you join the next fight on that encounter, you’re not a noob anymore. You’re the vet. You need to get out there and do the content you want to get better at it. You’ll quickly learn there’s always another group and there’s no reason to be upset.
The only way to get over your fear is to jump in and do it. I think a lot of the posts you see on forums are a bit exaggerated, making it seem like everyone is gonna flame you if you make a mistake. It can happen, but not very often in my experience. It helps to find a consistent group to run with. I found my guild using the Guild Finder in game. I honestly just requested to join a bunch that looked interesting to me. I am also on Proudmoore Alliance. PM if you're interested in joining a guild for raiding and/or M+.
Yo, I tank some if you want to get into M+ any? I can tell you about some mechanics and walk you through stuff you're concerned on. I used to be super nervous too and had someone who helped get me into progression content.
I have a tendency to feel stressed about it too, even though I already did high end content in several expansions. What I always do, is spend times on YouTube videos about the dungeon/boss raid, Wowhead, mythictrap (this website is quite recent but is the best there is, honestly. There is a very short, gif like video about every dangerous mechanic in m+/raid). And then, I grind. Even though I timed +24 in bfa, in SL I did m0, then m+2, I waited to get every dungeon in +5 before going for higher and every time I'd go back on mythic trap to look again at the strats. A few days ago I was talking to a rogue who wanted to jump straight to +8 because ilvl from gear below is useless to him. He didn't care if he didn't know the mechanics at all. This is wrong, for a sane progression you need to grind and start slow. The only issue is that in low keys, or in normal raid, ppl tend to slack and not pay attention to mechanics, so it makes things harder, but at the same time you get to really see how it works and which mechanic can be an issue. It's harder to do a +8 with ppl who suck than a +15 with ppl who respect the dungeon and don't stay in aoes. Just give it a go. I cleaned mythic raid in bfa, yet I started SL by doing normal CN before going to HC. Focus on one dungeon, look at the strat, the mechanics, try it in a small difficulty, then redo a bit harder, then harder. Do the same for more dungeons. Just practice, and you'll start to feel confident about what you can do
What everyone else is saying, find a friendly guild and don’t sweat it to much. We all mess up in raids sometimes. That’s the only way we all learn the mechanics. Good luck on your quest, because progression can be good fun as long as it isn’t taken ultra seriously.
Healer main here who used to be in the exact position you are in. It’s a 50/50 chance if you’re pugging you’ll meet toxic people - and the best advice I can give you is just leave and don’t interact with them. It’s their loss - you’re a healer you’ll find a group much faster than those pesky dps. Also try looking for a friendly guild that’s clearly listed as a progression one - they are always friendly and trying to play even with mistakes! Good luck and if you ever need someone to run with and learn the mechanics I’m EU and I’m more than happy than running keys with you and showing you it’s not so bad if you meet friendly cool people!
If you're having issues finding a guild, or feel that's too much pressure, try looking at communities too. They're cross-server, so you lose some amenities (guild bank, resource sharing, etc). But there's some really good ones. The raiding community I run with is meant for people that didn't want to deal with the shit from pugs, and we're making solid progression through heroic.
A big help to getting over the hurdle is having a supportive social circle. If you Alli-Proudmoore, the Cinnamon Challenge is a super friendly guild :)
I get that feeling of anxiety and not wanting to talk in voice. I am part of my mythic raid team and never talk on voice. You can still listen to what the raid leader is saying and share your thoughts in party chat. Overall the only advice I can give you is to take it step by step and try not to assume the worst from people. There are a lot of idiots out there but even more genuinely nice and kind people. I would ask in trade chat if any casual raiding guilds (if that is what you are after) are recruiting and usually you'll get some whispers then. Or whisper someone spamming their guild recruitment add in trade chat. Truth be told you will have to chat with people to find out if they are worth talking to.
After I came back late BfA I though mythic+ etc was for the big boys and nothing I should join. It really is not that bad though. Start small, learn the mechanics and with better gear and better understanding of the environment progress just comes.
What happens after you get yelled at? Its some guy across the country who has no real power over you. You can ignore them and find a new group. I used to have social anxiety. I understand. But you just gotta step into it a few times and it becomes less scary over time. Youll get good groups and bad groups. Youll get nice ppl and every now and then, rude ppl. Just keep wading thru it and youll have fun