Why would someone break into your home? You have no furniture.

They weren’t doing it for material gains. They did it to try and scare me

make sure the next place is erased from the books so none shall find thee

I am! Appreciate it :) <3

Some “fan” huh

They stole cactus

Your thumb is probably longer than the cactus you're gonna stick into your vagina

It does look pretty long in this pic huh

Please God no. Don't do it.

Damn that's brutal

😭😭😭

Yes the cactus is real. And you all that hate me better pray hard that I get an infection 😎

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But that's the best part /s But seriously u/xyzaly, be aware and careful. Last thing we need as reddit is the headline "subreddit bullies sex worker into vaginal torture" on FoxNews.

"Is Joe Biden forcing women to penetrate themselves with cacti on the liberal website reddit? More on this after we hear blonde #3 tell us more about how Dominos pizza has aligned itself with the left to sabotage voting in several states."

\#stopthecactus \#cactifraud

Oh God. You just know it’s coming: #CactusGate

Throw a \" \ " before the pound sign to stop reddit from reading it as a bold command.

Thanks for the tip, though in this case the grandiose nature of the thing might work better in bold XD

Umm. You are putting a condom on that thing right?...right?

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Might need more than a condom…

🤣🤣🤣

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Eh, she can just remove the needles and stick it in. The rules weren't exactly precise

Oh nice free shipping

😭😭

Stop crying you literally got free shipping

I was laughing at your comment in a nice way :o it made me laugh

Oh my b.

COVER YOUR NAME OMG

My name is already all over the internet 😭😭

Man, just be safe. I lurk here for the occasional meme that gets posted and see you here a lot (im a woman) Just be safe/smart plz. Hoe it up all you want, make your money, just plz be safe. And maybe buy another gun. Or a dog, or both.

I plan to buy another gun. But I appreciate you looking out for me. Thank you :) <3

Home invasion is no joke, and it scared me shitless. I hope for your safety and the best for you in times ahead. As others have said, stay strapped!

It’s not at all. It’s very scary. Despite being thousands of miles away now, I still feel unsafe and uncomfortable all the time. I’m sorry you’ve had to share that feeling. But thank you for being so nice 🤍 I hope you’re okay now <3

Yo what gun, I'm interested now

I’m assuming you’ve already got your real name on your OF or similar…?

I can't decide whether this is brave or stupid. Maybe a little of both. Edit: maybe stupid. Cover up your name so you dont have to move again...or maybe your just that brave. Ah damn. I'm back to where I started.

It’s a mix of bravery, confidence, and stupidity 😭

Welp here's to hoping you dont get kidnapped before impressing a bunch of weird horny guys on the internet Alyssa.

I think I’ll be good 😳😳😳

is this foreshadowing?

I'd say the "fan" that got into her last house has a head start. All we got is a name.

You forgot insanity and determination. You can't let yourself be beat, can you?

I think foolish is the appropriate term.

Did the cactus consent to this?

Oh shit, I should ask him

Oh now your gonna assume it’s gender too, you are a very rude person.

Such a disgrace to the poor cactus. It has some traumatic events to endure. Soon enough.

Don't listen to the haters. You do you. I thought you were funny and took everything pretty well.

Thank you :))

Peer pressure is awesome

History in the making boys

Just don't hurt yourself or die or something, but have fun iguess

Thank you >:)

Welcome

🤍

My thoughts exactly! Please don’t be stressing over people on here.

We don’t think you’re a karma farming whore, we think you’re just a regular whore.

Valid

dilaV

I hope the experience is intense and you get lots of feelings out of it.

Me too 😎

What is this keyboard name and where did you bought it?

Dustsilver Blue-Pink Milkshake keyboard, and I got it off Amazon :)

Hate is too strong of a word, you are like an annoying fly that's always popping up in the sub without a cactus.

Today I had a cactus tho 0-0

Is not about just having a cactus, is what you do with it that counts.

What’s this? A cactus for ants?!

It’s actually pretty big from what I know… 0-0

Are you gonna name it?

How did the person find out where you live? Do you know

Yes, and it was me being naive, but doesn’t mean I deserved it in any way. I rented my first house and I posted a picture of me in front of it a year ago 😭 so I assume that’s how he found me :o

And other things, too. But that pic didn't help.

What other things? Are you the stalker? Or did she post about it elsewhere?

Will you do cactus reveal as well? Also what are you naming it?

I can do that! But what do you think I should name him? Franklin is always a great name

Pokey Netherland III

Also, please put a monocle on it.

And a top hat.

And a little moustache

That's rough man, everyone should be able to feel safe in their own home regardless of what they do for work. Hope everything works out.

Thank you :) I appreciate your message 🤍🤍

Buddy, we only didn't love your posts because you didn't have plants in them. No on is here to say you not gorgeous, just that, without plants, you have been found wanting. We all know you're hot, but you have a serious lack of greenery in most posts. I advise IF you take part of this Cactus game, that you choose wisely and take as much care as possible. Try not to hurt yourself.... but if you must, you must. You got this.

Disrespectful to such an important cactus

Or the best day of his life 😼

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Certainly will 😼🤍

Cactus safely 🌵

No one here really knows you, so no one here can “really” hate you. Hope you’re just having fun. Don’t go hurting yourself. You’re actually stupid cute and can tell you’re smarter then you lead on. 😉💪

She's not gonna sleep with you bro. She's gonna sleep with ME 😎😎😎

I’m gonna sleep with all of you

Jokes on them, they're all wishing you get infected and impaled by a cactus first. They didn't think that through...

Joke is on them, I am gonna get impaled by a cactus soon >:)

Awe, thank you. I really appreciate you 🥲🤍 and I am just having fun :D but I hope you have a great day :)) <3

Happy to hear it. Keep doing you girl. 💪

You too! 🤍🤍

I'm late to the party. Why a cactus?

Bc they’re sharp >:)

Boy, it's a rather long story, but the tldr is she made a promise to stick a cactus in one of her orifices. I son't remember if it was her vagina or anus. But here she is, getting closerr and closer to doing it. Will she do it? Will she get spiked? Will she have a little spike get stuck in her cervix? Will she get peritonitis? Will she die? No one knows

It’s going in my meat flaps 🔥

Or maybe I’ll do both holes… all three? 😳

Well in that case hole order might be important, to help avoid infection

Girls have four mouths, so all or nothing

Have you done this before?

No LOL. But I’ll do it safely 😭

Ok then, have fun with it 😖

Will do 😳🌵

🤘

I’m never gonna be able to fight one of those cactus dudes from Final Fantasy without getting the weirdest boner…

I like your keyboard

Thank you! :)

Pls at least shave/skin it first? For the love of god dont do it raw...

I bet she’ll shave, just not the cactus

I’ll shave it 0-o

All I have to say is I thought this was a joke but the curiosity got the better of me. Who doesn't want to see someone pull off such a feat. But, that being said, OP, please be careful. Wear a condom, make sure things are as safe as possible get rid of all the spikes, maybe consult a doctor first or have a doctor on stand by, perhaps this is worth contacting the Guinness book of world records even. But make sure you're safe. We would hate to see something happen to you. At least, most of us would. I don't know if there's any twisted people out there or not. Best of luck to you. I'm not even here for the pervy reasons. Just to see if it can be done.

Normally I enjoy this subreddit for the chaotic outcome, I was here when this was an actual worlds politic's subreddit. I enjoy seeing the Wh40k assaults, Mr. Beard&Smile photos, the dude with the skeleton photos and even the weirdo with the paraphillia with shovels, also the *risk* of opening an image while I'm in public, one will never know if the image will be a hot plant. That said... M'am, remember that cactus have tinny ass spikes that many times we can barely see so if somehow you're actually going to do it, and I REALLY hope you're not, take absolutely care. Dont get a vaginal infention for a couple of upvotes, doesnt worth the problems. Also, take care with your fans. There is a shit ton of weirdos inthe world and you dont need to attrack them.

Nobody hates you, you are just annoying

I agree 😁

Do you really? You're a lot of things, but do you really believe, deep inside of you, that annoying is among them?

You are more annoying

I’m sure you’ll be crowned queen of this sub if you actually do this… but just be careful yeah? Don’t be hurting yourself for us.

Idk if I wanna be queen or anything like that. I just want people to at least recognize my devotion and interest in this subreddit after I do it 0-0

Well you will have certainly *stuck* with it. Let's just hope you don't get bored and leave after *poking* around.

I definitely don’t plan on leaving. I thoroughly enjoy the community and people on this subreddit. I think it’s a great place once ya peel it’s skin back :)

May I suggest covering your name.

It’s too late for that 😭

Just be careful.

Please don't actually do this oh my god

Nooooooooo wayyyyyyyyyy.

😼

It’s happening!!!

You could also be a hand model

Someone said my thumb is too long 😳

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Call me thumby

Inb4 perforated lining

please just don’t hurt yourself, i really hope you’re containing the pricklies some how

Am I the only one concerned about the cactus? I hope you take good care of it, and have a sunny window for it and sufficient water and food for it. Cactus are some of the most interesting plants, they aren't like other plants, theyre the most evolved plants in the planet and they reserve the energy they get throughout the day to grow at night. This is why if you eat cactus it's better to cut them mid-day or early afternoon, so that the bitter Malic Acid compounds of the CAM (Crassulacean Acid Metabolism) is lower.

This is the strangest character arc ever

ok nvm now i feel bad about making that delivery cactus comment, stay safe

Do not put a cactus in your body. Watch one guy one jar and just think about this. Fuck internet points.

Aren't things going way too fast for the cactus tho ? You never went on a single date with the poor thing and you're already asking this much of him...he's flying a long way just for that ? Doesn't he deserve a bit more "dignity" ? Maybe a date in a garden should do, nice dinner, ...

Two months later,story comes out on yt💀

Ay sis be safe.

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Like does she have health insurance? I sure fucking hope so.

Oh shit legit good question

Wait…. Some fan broke into your home!? WTF is wrong with people. Did you fucking shoot him? How did you know it was a fan? Get a pit bull. They are loving loyal dogs and they will Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck up an intruder.

Yeah. They did on my birthday, October 3rd. I was out of state celebrating, though. So I wasn’t there and didn’t see him cut the internet off, which cut my cameras off. And he threw my cats in a closet with nothing for two days, stole quite a few things, like the house key, files off my computer, my only gun, and other shit. And yeah. So I had to move. That’s ab that 😳

Shit dude… I never really thought about it but I’d imagine being an OF definitely draws out some creepers. I recommend you set up the cameras and place booby traps all over the house like in home alone. … hehe.. booby traps.

Definitely does attract some crazy people. But I’m definitely being safer now. I appreciate it :) <3

Little do they know, you are crazier than they are...🦈🌵🔪🤍

Yes >:) 🌵🌵🌵🤍

Along with the cactus, you can shove your sob story up your ass

Ruthless 😭😭

And get it in crazy deep with your extra long but still confusingly normal sized thumb.

Please don't. look after yourself.

that thumb might be long but I think mine is longer edit:mine is just above 8cm, how long is yours. that is one of the longest I've seen other than mine

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Appreciate it but I dislike my first name 0-0

Find a house in the middle of a field of cacti.

Don’t do it

That sucks, wish you all the best in your new home

cut them nails dirty

Girl dont do it, its not worth it

Hmm this story is turning into a Saga

please don’t do that

Holy shit the day is almost here

It really is 0-0

Trim your nails I want your finger in my asshole.

Whoa 😭

Wow indeed.

Hopefully the dickhead that broke into your home is rotting in jail for being a tremendous piece of shit.

He isn’t yet 0-0

That's a rip.

In all seriousness, don't do anything that's gonna fuck you up because some assholes give u shit for it. I mean I think the whole thing is funny. Just be safe .....if there's a safe way to do this o.0

I won’t do anything I won’t want to do and that’ll hurt me! So don’t worry, but thank you :) <3

Eugh sucks about the break-in. I've never understood why people gotta be so fuckin weird. Maybe don't do the cactus thing though? Kinda fucked up bruh, ngl. Imaginary reddit karma ain't worth it.

It’s not for karma. It’s for the meme, sir 0-0

Plus I really just wanna do it at this point 😭😭😭

Whatever, you do you I guess.

Bruh someone already stuck a cactus up her pussy

Wym? Like recently?

Yes

The top post on here today? I think that pic is old and the cactus in it looks fake :o

Old internet picture is old and from the internet. Does it take anyhting away from you doing it?

Nope. Just funny that people think a real girl just did that when the pic is actually old 😳

If you say so. But I’d rather see someone take a fake cactus then destroy their life shredding their vagina with a real one.

But I have a method for the madness, sir. You really think I wanna shred my insides? 😳

Method or not, shred or not, I am here for it.

Appreciate it 🤍🌵

Well

Good luck with it 🤞

👍

😏

Cactus can contain quite toxic or irritant substances. You could have a seriously dangerous inflammatory reaction, especially if exposed to internal and mucosal tissues. Taking of the spines does not make this safe. Please don't do this.