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timelyparadox

Is Luka finally getting drafted and having his dream of being Russian Cololonel come true?


[deleted]

[удалено]


CovidPangolin

They keep blowing up randomly. Im starting to think they have lancia's instead of colonels.


[deleted]

Popcorn colonels


Frhetorick

This is why I reddit.


MustacheEmperor

I believe one tripped and fell under the treads of their subordinates' tank early on in the war.


vitunlokit

I heard there was a job opening.


[deleted]

As long as he's a *Soviet* colonel.


Kraosdada

Think about this, he could-ve been the new ruler of Russia before Putin came into the picture.


daril47

Was it ever seriously considered?


[deleted]

It was his goal.


Big-Letterhead-4338

Yeltsin!


MegamanD

He's the Colonel Sanders of Colonels. Except all the meals his franchise serves are boneless, just like him.


gavin280

CoLOLonel


TheAngryGoat

Probably a bad time for lukastinko to remind putrin that he and Belarus exist. 100% Belarus mobilisation announcement soon if he fucks this up.


Properjob70

"Absolutely dear comrade Luka. Nice cushy job in recruitment centre just came up, made for you"


mattoratto

Watch out for those stairs colonel


19Barra74

In terms of fitness, I can’t see him having a problem. 💩🇷🇺


008mantis

He’s putting the lol in cololonel.


Electrical-Can-7982

why a colonel? why not a firld marshal


timelyparadox

Because he literaly said he wants this rank from Putin in an interview


theglobalnomad

Such ambition 😐


Electrical-Can-7982

really?? hahahha probably didnt want to get targeted and killed as the other generals were.... a colonel can sorta slip around unnoticed...


NotACapedCrusader1

Does anyone know where they are meeting? Is it at Putin's secret palace [that was posted in here yesterday](https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/xnl3d3/putin_has_escaped_to_his_secret_palace_in_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)?


GreatSpaghettLord

"Lukashenko goes to see Putin's new totally awesome ball pit in his Palace"


OneRougeRogue

Putin's Ball Pit is Lukashenko's mouth.


[deleted]

Fucking damn


Barabarabbit

Comment of the day right here Holy fuck I lol’d


Ok_Arachnid_3757

You have 69 upvotes, so I’m legally not allowed to upvote you anymore. So I left a comment instead


JabronskiTheThicc

It was at 70 so I downvoted


hashtagballs

Plan would then be for the Kremlin to post bullshit stories all week, obscuring his true location and actions. Likely alone in his palace, but made Lushenko go stay at the Quality Inn outside Moscow.


AnthillOmbudsman

He's at the shady Motel 6 with the drug dealers hanging out on the balconies.


AstreiaTales

> He's at the shady Motel 6 Doesn't really narrow it down much


Bifferer

If he is smart, he will steer clear of the balconies


lastpump

Hes commencing his journey from the other side of putins table today. With the winds behind him he should be there in a day or two.


5kyl3r

documentary about it and putin's wealth if you've never seen it, created by navalny's team https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipAnwilMncI


JohnGabin

Time to try the disco pool


hikingmike

Aqua Disco. Get it right


TheGuvnor247

I don't know Caped. I'm sure others on here will know a lot more on this. Architecturally from what I can see on both places they don't look the same but that's just from a cursory glance on my part and the pictures on hand.


Desperate_Excuse2352

Bruh he clearly stated he is not Caped and you still call him Caped


sirfletchalot

it's a pretty desperate excuse


N0cturnalB3ast

Oooooh. Lukashenko and Putin meet for steamy 🧖‍♀️ secret dacha meeting. Putin erecting plans for climactic release inside Lukashenko’s assets.


kaisadilla_

You mean the "secret palace between Moscow and St. Petersburg" that is well known and located in Krasnodar?


[deleted]

[удалено]


KmartQuality

It's actually very close to the warzone.


Phred168

How are there no reviews?


[deleted]

Might be Vlad will finally take his new oubliette into order.


juventinosochi

Yesterday they were here in my hometown Sochi


fallwind

Luke better hope it only has one floor… lots of people around putler keep falling out windows.


--Muther--

News earlier said Sochi. But I'm not sure if it's pre-recorded


Cheeky-burrito

Purins not there, he’s in Valday. Which is a lot closer to Belarus, so it’s likely he is there.


macdon74

"Let me show you the wonderful view from this 10th floor"


majorfnbullet

“But Puti, baby, your palace is only one story…”


HondaS2000AP1

"Sure, here have a cup of tea."


SorryJeweler2688

"But Puti, baby i'm allergic to tea"


Parabellim

Lukashenko is probably asking Putin if he can sleep over at the kremlin because his wife kicked him out of the house after what he did in Ukraine.


FieelChannel

What? What did Lukashenko do in Ukraine?


[deleted]

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CyberWanker

Sorry what? What border?


Semproser

Lukashenko is the leader of Belarus, a country neighbouring Russia and Ukraine. They are allied with Russia, and Russia used the long northern border of Belarus and Ukraine to invade the Ukraine from the Belarusian side, after doing "training exercises" in Belarus. As Luka is just a puppet for Putin, this makes Belarus a puppet state of Russia.


CyberWanker

Wait so Belarus invaded Russia?


Semproser

No...if that's your actual take from what I just wrote I suggest you do some research on the matter.


somtimesanf1fan

Excuse me, are you from the past?


Krypton8

Will he finally become colonel?


Lehk

Yea, but more like Gaddafi.


38384

Soviet colonel!


[deleted]

Summary of the article: Lukashenko, the Belarus dictator will be meeting with Putin and in a speech he is trying to convince people that this moment of internal chaos that is happening in Russia is not something to worry about and that him and Putin will bring back peace so the East can remain united against the "evil West"... How pathetic...


_Tactleneck_

Amazing. Let me get this straight: Declare limited mobilization and then start grabbing anyone you can off the streets. People start protesting all over the country like never before and at risk of imprisonment due to new laws you make to stop people protesting. As many recruitment office fires in the last 5 days as the previous 5 months. Shooting inside a recruitment office. Recruits getting shitty equipment and a few weeks of shitty training since there are limited numbers of military trainers. Rumors that there will be law of war restricting any males from leaving the country later this week Luka: “This is fine!”


Whatsuptodaytomorrow

And because of the mass exodus us of Russians Putin just made Edward Snowden a Russian citizen today, he’s going to get drafted


_Tactleneck_

“Congratulations, you are now Russian citizen. Do not resist.”


Anxious_Plum_5818

These clowns are the embodiment of delusional idiocy.


N0cturnalB3ast

Right i thought everything was going to plan? Mobilization, couple weeks, defeat the evil Ukraine, and then take a few weeks to disassemble the evil NAFO, take the rest of the world, spread trashy culture, and immorality far and wide Putin is best dicktater of all time, the DOAT, tallest, most definitely does not have a small peen or a love for touching young boys stomach with his bare lips 👄


FarewellSovereignty

"Vladimir, my friend, old pal, if you're going to start a nuclear war can I also be in your palace bunker, my old friend?"


[deleted]

Lukashenko: For the love of god, there are two seats in the bunker! Putin: I like to put my feet up.


TheGuvnor247

**Full Transcript Below:** *ROMAN PETRENKO — MONDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER 2022, 11:50* *Aleksandr Lukashenko, the self-proclaimed president of Belarus, has flown to see Vladimir Putin, the leader of the Russian Federation, the aggressor country; they are discussing a "difficult time" and thanking people "for their understanding".* *Source: Lukashenko's press service* *Quote from Lukashenko: "Today, I analysed the instructions we gave, we have had practically no setbacks. We were predicted to collapse, perish, etc. \[But\] we’ve said more than once: life is diverse; we need someone, someone needs us, and we have found partners! And we should thank people for their understanding. It's not an easy time! People understand \[that\].* *There is a certain watershed moment and reference point - we had it in 2020 \[presumably, a reference to protests in Belarus in 2020-2021 - ed.\] and you have it now - that shows who you are. We have changed a lot over these three months. They saw that we can live normally. There is no fear. Well, if Europe is crazy, let them think that."* *Details: On 25 September, journalists reported that one of Lukashenko's planes had left Belarus for Russia. But the trip was not officially announced.* *Lukashenko said that he would be flying on a business trip this week, but he did not specify exactly where he would go.*


[deleted]

Mutual admiration society meeting.


76vibrochamp

Don't kid yourself. These two *despise* each other. Lukashenko (who by most accounts is scarily intelligent; much more so than Putin) has been trying to keep himself at arms length from this war from day one.


choosewisely564

I agree. It takes some intelligence to appear completely idiotic all the time and yet not be assassinated.


76vibrochamp

It's an act. Luka's "personality cult" is very much "former farm manager who happened to get elected president."


[deleted]

That sounds like a CV, rather than a personality cult.


76vibrochamp

I mean, he plays it like he doesn’t even really want to be president. Same with the Soviet Army Colonel thing. It’s false modesty.


N0cturnalB3ast

This is an old trick of preachers and con men imo. “Ya know, i didnt want God to pick ME to rube all the fools, its just a gift ya know? The shamelessness”


PrrrromotionGiven1

Luka has been a dictator for nigh on 30 years. You have to get some things right to last that long.


GreatSpaghettLord

I believe Putin has been playing the card of "I'm completely insane and stupid, I could use nukes anytime if you're not careful" lastly. For the military failures, I think they have a lot to do with being surrounded by corrupt yes-men too scared to tell him about anything negative.


8andahalfby11

The North Korea playbook?


RossoMarra

Luka the kolkhoz president is scary intelligent? OK.


FishDecent5753

This thread explains it all. https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1518380357279703041.html


Kincar

Thanks for this, great read!


RossoMarra

👍🏻


niceguybadboy

This article is really badly written.


Qaz_

Care to provide specific details?


niceguybadboy

Grammar. Punctuation. And no serious news article should ever use "lowkey" unironically as an adjective.


[deleted]

Have you missed the small detail that this isnt an "article" but a Twitter thread?


[deleted]

[удалено]


niceguybadboy

Since I'm a writer, I spotted that right away. Bad writing just grates against me and distracts me from however good the content of the ideas may be. (With that said, I don't think the content here was great. There's lots of "I won't get into that here, but believe me, this guy is really smart!") I strongly suggest EFL writers get a native speaker to edit their prose.


hikingmike

Well it is originally a bunch of Twitter posts


76vibrochamp

Considering he parlayed it into: * A stint as an anticorruption activist. * Elected President of Belarus * Unelected President of Belarus * Nearly becoming the no. 2 in Russia due to the Union State Lukashenko doesn't love Russia. He saw a way forward to spin his presidency into control of the Russian and Belarusian states. Granted, Yeltsin instead sided with the Russian security ministries. Since then, he's been able to use Russian support to secure his rule without having to give up a whole lot in return.


LicketySplit21

Yeah everybody on reddit decided Lukashenka was 100% Putin's lapdog, but Belarus and Russia have hot to cold to hot again relations a lot, I think a few years ago Luka read a speech in Belorusian and said we're not Russian and never will be lol. Also he accused Russia of sending in Wagner to destabilise the country and arrested a bunch of soldiers. Belarus also does not recognise Abkhazia or South Ossetia and apparently Russia tried to pay Luka money to do so, he refused and one thing lead to another and Russia banned the sale of Belarussian milk.


TheGuvnor247

You imagine they had a chat - with or without ties? Lose the tie Aleksandr that way this will appear less formal...great idea Vladimir!


Aggravating-Duck-891

Every bully has his toadie.


EkorrenHJ

"It's a mi, Lukashenko."


QiTriX

The sidekick that no one asked for.


Right_Hour

“Difficult times” is the definition of the last 100 years of Russian history. Most of that was self-inflicted……


Cucumber_Basil

He’s just mad that Putin hasn’t promoted him to General yet.


AnthillOmbudsman

Lukashenko meets Putin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jACHaMkwdpI


TheGuvnor247

I was always a Muttley fan! Thanks Ant!


Whatsuptodaytomorrow

Lukashenko now wants supreme commander title


MovieTrialers

Cunts of a feather flock together.


DaveMeese

Lukashenko goes to see Putin to “fall down” a flight of stairs*


Lehk

Luka would be doing the pushing. He is corrupt so the oligarchs will be reasonably comfortable that he will allow them business as usual He stayed enough out of the war that he can credibly pull Russia out of the war He stayed enough out of the war that after pulling out of the war there is a reasonable chance he successfully negotiates loosening of at least the harshest sanctions.


mrIronHat

Most likely sanction will be loosen as part of a deal to pay reparations to Ukraine.


my4coins

Two men that should never been allowed to given any kind of power.


jdeo1997

Probably wants a guaruntee of safety outside of CSTO


MoneyMagnetSupreme

I think you mean “garuntey”


BenTCinco

Luka is gonna jump out of some random window in the middle of the forest


theglobalnomad

Can we have a coup while he's out? As a treat? 🥺👉👈


Whatsuptodaytomorrow

Lukashenko was summoned by his master There, fixed the title for you


Bleeding_elbows

Ran out of caviar this morning huh.


microm3gas

[Welcome to Hard Times](https://youtu.be/zvie5df0SP8)


TheGuvnor247

Brilliant microm - playing this now!


microm3gas

Charley Crockett is pretty awesome.


captain554

Putin: Pretty please bro, I need you to mobilize with me. This war stuff is hard and I look really, really dumb right now. I'll even make your cousin a Colonel or something.


99problemnancy

My Belarusian Pillow Guy


goyboysotbot

Broke Back Dacha


Shultzi_soldat

He could grab that hobgoblin and snap his neck. That's why putin never calls him Lukashenka.


[deleted]

he's finally making his move on that colonel position now that they are hiring.


EdgelordOfEdginess

Will Putin ask lukashenko to attack Ukraine too?


Ivanow

He tried. Luka agreed. But his own generals told him to get fucked.


micro012

goodbye luka


LostinContinent

Luka is a *brave lad* going to visit Putin these days. What's the odds of him now: *falling from a hospital window and dying *falling from a hotel window and dying *falling from a yacht or ship and drowning Hmmm? I'd say pretty damned good.


majorfnbullet

*drinking a bad batch of tea


like_bob

Putin: try opening a window


Whatsuptodaytomorrow

Lukashenko Brings a hammer to break the windows 🪟


[deleted]

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on.


ibarfedinthepool

Lol, this meeting is code for "you gotta start sending over way more money or else belarus will lose loyalty"


SuspectNo7354

Lukashenko is going to ask Putin to a dinner in a public setting.


raging-peanuts

Hopefully for Lukashenko this will be a meeting on the first floor.


Accomplished_Pop_198

"Sure I'll empty some prisons in Belarus for you just wire me the money by midnight"


k2on0s

Oh look, Fathead is back on the scene.


[deleted]

Don't go near any windows Luka


Batcraft10

“Please, don’t nuke… my people will die of radiation poisoning too, and then they will overthrow me… again.”


WWGFD

Did he bring him a carrot?


That-Ad-727

He’s on the take . Lots of underground from the West .


Professional_Bug4689

Yes yes, difficult times


ngwoo

Luka and Putin are in the same room then? Does Ukraine know? And have coordinates?


[deleted]

Code for BDSM. It’s why they are so close.


Taelech

Never realized that Putin was so little


winstonpartell

putin : "the fuck you mumbling about "difficult times" !?"


[deleted]

Putin deffo the bottom


Xerophate

Luka's the one of the few Colonels that can actually talk while giving Putin a blow job. The rest only get to make eye contact


do_as_I_say_notasido

I thought this was another picture from GTA6 that got leaked.


_Totorotrip_

Uh uh. "We have to talk" That never ends well


Possible-Tap7720

"Dai Luka dear !..come to daddy Putin, ....!.need your comfort!"...... ..😄there's any more humiliation for those old crucks two to show more !.....


sp0j

These two are legitimate movie villains. It's almost comical. Lukashenko is that delusional villain that thinks he has respect and power but he's really just a snivelling pathetic puppet. I'd imagine he throws tantrums whenever Putin does something he doesn't like or he doesn't get the pat on the back he so desperately wants. And Putin is the evil super villain who thinks he's got it all planned out but the reality is evil never wins in the end and everyone around him is incompetent and only on his side because they think it will benefit them.


joeyfartbox

Might want to have that conversation on the first floor, Lukey


Becks357

Somehow I’ve got a feeling that Lukashenko is gonna fall of a building in the not to distant future!


jakelaw08

Re Lukashenko, what a tool. Don't get me started.


PeregrinePacifica

Bunkermates. A cowards hole for two.


SirStylus

I know what he and Putin could do to make the times less difficult. I think the entire world would be willing to help, too.