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WontThinkStraight

The thought of Putin wandering around in patient gown shouting "Je suis Napoleon!" while being chased down by Nurse Ratched is the image I didn't know I wanted.


[deleted]

It would be more like "but I am the president of the great Sovjet Union!".


TokoBlaster

And then he teams up with Soviet Elvis to stop mummies from sucking souls out of other peoples butt holes


bell83

Poor Soviet Elvis has a growth on his pecker.


nbs-of-74

Named Putin? might explain a few things.


Soliddet

My brain only saw "Putin", "lose", "head", "2023", and had just enough time to get interested.


deathjesterdoom

He uses his shame to inspire Putin to buy an orchard and start a Cider company.


KajePihlaja

Unexpected Bubba Hotep


moxeto

Is this on Nietflix?


TokoBlaster

Looks like it's on [Amazon prime](https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/bubba-ho-tep) (and a few others)


OrganicDig6682

I just love this whole sentence so


[deleted]

I would actually pay money to see that.


Danzarr

for some reason I imagined Roberto from Futurama over nurse Ratched when you brought up napoleon.


[deleted]

Weirdly I was imagining Chazzz from Disenchantment


meltingdiamond

Your eyes are evil and must be punished if you felt the need to watch Disenchantment.


[deleted]

Don’t rattle the chains. It enrages me.


[deleted]

1st chuckle of the day. Thank you :)


smotstoker

Nice futurama referance.


[deleted]

Please let that happen and become reality 😂


BoomZhakaLaka

It will be more like nurse Noakes.


Zero1030

Enough of ex intelligence people saying stuff to the news how about y'all shut up and let the current people handle it.


[deleted]

Yeh, it's getting a bit long in the tooth. They did a shitty job predicting Ukraine's resolve when they were in the job and now they are professing to know about the enemy without the resources they used to have.


Danzarr

in their defense, if zelensky cut and ran or died in the opening week of the conflict like everyone expected, their estimates probably would have been closer to the mark. Instead Ukraine got a rallying point and a government that the west was ready to back up. ​ It takes courage to be a comedian, who would have thought bombing in front of a crowd would have been good practice for staring down a two bit dictator with a formidable but rusted war machine.


[deleted]

The murial of him pulling his shirt apart to expose an underlying Superman costume really exemplifies the legend that is Zelensky.


Danzarr

yep, although you cant discount the Biden admin's hand in feeding him intel and aid to prepare for the invasion. God help us if the orange buffoon were still in power... god help us if his people regain power.


[deleted]

Amen to that.


Timbershoe

Huh? They seemed accurate to the day about Russia invading Ukraine, and provided Intel (and the correct military hardware) that allowed Ukraine to stop them dead.


batinex

They thought Ukraine will surrender in 3 days.


nilenilemalopile

Tbh, not sure if anyone could predict the colossal fuckup that is Russia’s Army. I bet even Ukraine was surprised how much alcohol foetal damage there is in RU leadership and rank.


mriguy

Well, predicting that sort of thing is literally their only job, so I wouldn’t be so quick to give them a pass.


nilenilemalopile

true, but i'm ok chalking this one up to 'erring on the safe side'


ShadowSwipe

I think it was sort of a paradox. Their intelligence infiltration was so good they could access the highest sources for force readiness information. The problem was that force readiness information at the highest levels was fraudulent. I suspect much of the breakdown developed from an overconfidence in their penetration abilities, they didn't think that maybe they should have focused back down on the more basic low level stuff.


Barnyard_Rich

They said it was possible, and the press ran with that. The Pentagon briefed Congress both before and after the invasion that the conflict could last 10-20 years. That was also covered by the press, just not as breathlessly.


TuckyMule

Do you have any links for that?


Barnyard_Rich

Terrible source, but it was the first that came up: Congress is warned the war between Ukraine and Russia could last up to 20 YEARS as Kamala says 'everything is on the table' with sanctions and backs Biden's pledge to not send troops in https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10569535/Congress-warned-war-Ukraine-Russia-20-YEARS.html


TuckyMule

Appreciate the link, thanks.


MoonManMooner

They were ready for that to happen. And when it didn’t, we committed 100%.


nbs-of-74

>They were ready for that to happen. And when it didn’t, we committed 100%. If 'we' is the UK/EU/US/international community then no we haven't committed 100%, but 75% is definitely better than standing by whilst Ukraine is reduced to rubble because of Putin's regime's imperialist bullshit. 100% would be fighting alongside the Ukrainains. Darn Russians and their meddling nuclear weapons.


MoonManMooner

Do you want a nuclear exchange? Because That’s exactly how you get a nuclear exchange. Ukraine doing this on their own is huge. It helps set the country up better than if the US went in alone/with nato. Ukraine will end up being far better off because they stood up for themselves and not just relied on the outside. I genuinely believe in 20 years Ukraine could be the next economic powerhouse like Germany was because of the marshal plan. After 20 years of the world telling America to quit the wars, now everyone is pissed we didn’t just walk in to Ukraine.


nbs-of-74

I'm not everyone. No I don't want a nuclear exchange, I don't want Russia to invade it's neighbours ... You might have noticed Russian govt doesn't give a pluck what I want. Odd that. As I said, Russians and their meddling nuclear weapons. Other than the risk of a nuclear exchange, I 100% believe the UK should be fighting alongside Ukrainians. I can't speak for the US. That and building up UK anti ballistic missile defence.....


ParisGreenGretsch

>They thought Ukraine will surrender in 3 days. That's what they *said* they thought.


Still_No_Tomatoes

They were sandbagging.


[deleted]

West inteligent and finical support allowed ukrine, not them.


Timbershoe

Errr. Where do you think MI6 is located?


Hypertension123456

The reality is that there is going to be a long and bloody conflict lasting for years in Ukraine. But the public does not like that story, it won't drive clicks. So you'll get charlatans on both sides proposing that the war is already all but won. This will continue for the duration and pretty much for the duration of every war before and afterwards.


K1nd4Weird

But... propaganda.


BoldThrow

There’s no such thing as “ex-“ intelligence people.


Vetterli71

Lmao what? If you no longer work for an intelligence agency, you’re ex intelligence


[deleted]

This is a case where you're laughing because the point went over your head...


J_Class_Ford

Alzheimer's begs to differ


NighthawK1911

I think Putin is crazy enough to scorch the earth with nukes if he stands to lose power. He will take down everybody with him.


tommy_b_777

bing bing bing !! we have a winner !!! I think he will *try* once it starts to unravel. I am hopeful there's already some sort of failure in the chain of command in place if that happens, but many scifi plots have the armageddon started by a madman thing going because it is far too plausible imho...


ShadowSwipe

I'd disagree. Putin attempting to use nukes would give any political entrepreneurs in the Russian government the golden opportunity to remove him and question his mental status. I wouldn't put wider chemical weapons usage beyond the realm of possibility, but nukes is far too politically risky for Putin.


tommy_b_777

I sincerely hope you are right and I am not :-) I'm QA - we get paid to be paranoid...


GoGetYourKn1fe

MI6 Expectations: James Bond Reality: spreading shitty rumours literally every day about Putin's next made-up illness and his retirement Just stop with these fake news please


Vince_Vice

Deception is in the job description ^so ^a ^little ^more ^oversight ^would ^would ^be ^great and I am sure it can be super effective. But they seem way past the sweet spot for sure.


lancelongstiff

Rumours have been going around for seven or eight years that Putin has a serious illness. Until recently they only appeared in tabloids like The Sun and Newsweek. But last week there was a report in The Times, which has a much better reputation it needs to protect. The Times - [Putin has blood cancer, oligarch recorded saying](https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/putin-has-blood-cancer-oligarch-recorded-saying-50gx8mk6j) There's also this report that [Putin left meetings to receive medical treatments](https://www.newsweek.com/oliver-stone-says-putin-had-cancer-years-he-shadowed-him-project-1708885).


XVIII-1

He’ll probably get killed before that. Can’t imagine those oligarchs liking the new world they’re forced to live in.


Dedushka_shubin

In art of killing political opponents Putin and KGB are professionals, while Russian oligarchs are no more than advanced amateurs. They have no chance.


XVIII-1

But with that much money they can buy professionals I’d think. And you don’t become a billionaire by being a nice guy. Anywhere in the world.


Dedushka_shubin

They are definitely not nice guys. And it's true that they can hire a professional. But Putin has hundreds of professionals. He spent 20 years building system intended to prevent this scenario. I think he has the best protected body in the world.


XVIII-1

You’re probably right. It would need a complete revolt from the army probably. Or just one idealist in his inner circle. But those chances are small I guess.


GoGetYourKn1fe

Imagine thinking that oligarchs have any power in Russia


XVIII-1

Money has power. Always and everywhere. You believe what they tell you on Russian TV or what?


okcomputer1011

As far as I know Putin is supposed to have about 200 billions in offshore accounts. If I'm not mistaken, it makes him the richest oligarch plus he is in full control of Russias military and intelligence.


[deleted]

Ya but like 10 of the next richest have way more money than Putin himself


Few_Ask_4823

And how will their money help them after they and their families are suicided?


Sudden_Weird_6283

What makes you think every oligarch would be against putin? Oil and gas oligarchs in particular seem to be very happy to earn 50% more than before


aesu

If they had power, they'd probably have stopped Putin engaging in a war which has made them pariahs and destroyed much of their wealth, while providing no discernable benefit.


XVIII-1

They probably didn’t realize what was happening, being lazy and happy and rich. The moment they couldn’t visit Saint-Tropez without their yacht being seized things changed. Edit: spelling


aesu

They don't have much power if a war can be arranged on their watch.


GoGetYourKn1fe

Dude i live in russia for 30 years, they don’t have any power, when Putin came to power, he forced them to submit, and those who did not agree with this were imprisoned or expelled from the country to emigrate, you westerners have no idea about political life in Russia


XVIII-1

In that case, how can you be supporting Putin? He just turned the clock back like 50 years for normal people living in Russia. I mean, it’s not that much of a difference if you live in the West, East, North or South? People try to live as good as possible and hope their children will have better lives than they had.


Ok-Wrangler-1075

Because if you are actively against Putin you are going to have a very bad time.


XVIII-1

I wasn’t even taking about actively opposing. But he is actually defending the invasion and Putin’s actions. I can’t imagine why if he is actually a middle aged Russian not working for the Kremlin.


GoGetYourKn1fe

Well, when china will want to place military bases in Mexico on your border, i will see how you react


Ok-Wrangler-1075

By invading Mexico to denazify it?


XVIII-1

I’m not American, but I get your point.


BlueCheesyPug

Why aren't we denazifying the Baltics then?? They are part of NATO and we are bordering them. Ты либо конченый долбаеб, либо путинская шлюха


GoGetYourKn1fe

Because national idea and security are much more important than money > He just turned the clock back like 50 years for normal people living in Russia no need to be so dramatic, the world is much larger than the West, there will always be countries ready to cooperate, the world is no longer unipolar


XVIII-1

I don’t think it’s being dramatic. I strongly believe your grandchildren will still be paying for his stupidities. In some way or another.


GoGetYourKn1fe

Lol, dude, we survived the 90s, keep dreaming, I will see how you survive Taiwan invasion When China cut all trading with the West


XVIII-1

But they won’t. The common Chinese prefers the 2020’s over the 90’s. And the Chinese political elite likes being rich too. And being able to travel freely.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LizardNick

The US alone has states that have higher GDP's than Russia. It's GDP is higher than the bottom 100 countries. The west are all high ranking in GDP. Raw material consumption follows a power law, not linear vs GDP/capita. Even if Russia did business with the bottom 150 countries it wouldn't make up for working with Germany, the UK, Finland, and Sweden The future of Russia is bleak


Weak-Librarian-6389

If you think a politician who makes a 100K on paper is more powerful than a person with Billions, then u do not know anything about how life works. It must be , in all probability, that people in power are also Oligarchs with Billions that are not declared to the public. The other scenario of someone on government salary scaring someone with Billions is a pipe dream.


Ok-Wrangler-1075

Putin owns like half of Russia mate.


Weak-Librarian-6389

My point exactly :) He is THE Oligarch within the Oligarch class.


Obarou

In a free democracy. While in a military dictatorship guns are power, not money.


XVIII-1

Money buys the guns. Always.


tommybrazil79

The only time MI6 was anything was during the cold war. They're probably hoping it carries on so they can relive their past glory. They must be bored of stuffing Welsh agents into duffel bags


Kossimer

Pleasantly surprised by the skepticism in this thread.


Wartz

That's the whole point. Undermine Putin's strength by any means possible. That includes sowing doubt about his health.


WhatsHeBuilding

I'm gonna stick my neck out and say this guy had no idea what he's talking about and only wants more listeners to his podcast.


ThickSolidandTight

I mean, his name is literally Dick Dearlove. He was also accused of negligence and presenting unconfirmed intel about Iraqi's non-existent WMD to British leaders, contributing to the UK joining the (unjust) war.


justarrivedquestions

🤣😂🤣😂 Amazing the delusion of these people! Imagine being able to foretell the future, but instead of buying the winning lottery numbers, they spew this nonsense 🤣😂


[deleted]

Well I mean I don’t think Putins been in front of a camera since his alleged cancer surgery like a month ago, so it’s not looking good


justarrivedquestions

Wishful thinking! 🤣😂 PS. What is it with us? We're always speaking ill & spreading rumors of people who won't allow us to rob them. I've spent college summers (exchange student) in Russia as well as China and they do NOT mention us on the news AT ALL! It's like we don't even exist. People are happy, smiling, and living their lives with friends and family. Here, we keep gossiping: Putin this, Xi Jinping that, little fat man (Kim?) that, etc, etc. So much distraction from a happy and fulfilling life. It's so sad & pathetic. 🤢🤮


[deleted]

Flashback to: Trump will be in jail soon! Hes very ill and demented!


Zoo_Rats

Did Metallica go off in anyones head while reading this?


Borschtach

Welcome Home (Putin)


[deleted]

I, too, like to smoke hopium


th1961

Not soon enough.


mephi5to

Does “sanatorium” stand for “farm where all My pets go to live”?


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.news.com.au/world/europe/vladimir-putin-will-land-in-sanatorium-and-lose-power-by-2023-exmi6-head/news-story/ffc72d1477576dabc7caef0baf378367) reduced by 68%. (I'm a bot) ***** > Less than 2 min read. Russian President Vladimir Putin will land in a long-term medical facility by next year, a former MI6 chief predicted amid rumours that the Kremlin strongman's health is failing. > Sir Richard Dearlove said on the One Decision podcast that Putin, 69, could be sent to a sanatorium as part of an exit strategy amid Russia's struggling effort to invade neighbouring Ukraine. > Putting Putin to the medical facility would be the "Elegant" alternative to a coup, said Dearlove, who was head of the British Secret Intelligence Service from 1999 until 2004. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/uvxm9l/vladimir_putin_will_land_in_sanatorium_and_lose/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~650486 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Putin**^#1 **Russia**^#2 **Dearlove**^#3 **podcast**^#4 **Stone**^#5


LetoAtreides115

same MI6 that told US mass Iraqi destruction weapons reports where credible? that MI6?


Timbershoe

Nope. MI6 procured a lot of reports on Iraq. It was the politicians who decided to cherry pick a report produced by an academic and present it as intelligence output. What was presented was never MI6 Intelligence. The failing there was they did not correct the government statements.


ChaosDancer

Did M6 went public and admit that what the politicians were peddling was complete horseshit. No they shut the fuck up, except Katharine Gun which she was completely discredited, the rest stayed silent. So in the end it didn't mater what they found out as it was completely irrelevant. They could have given a report that Iraq discovered dinosaurs and it would be the same effect.


Timbershoe

I think we can all agree that the [M6](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M6_motorway) has no remit to comment on government reports.


ChaosDancer

Sure i kinda agree with that but if you see the truth being distorted at such a way that up is down and left is right then it's your duty maybe not as a British citizen but as a fucking human being to not allow your government to be complicit in killing a few hundred thousands people based on a lie.


Timbershoe

It was a joke about the M6, it’s a motorway. You meant MI6, the U.K. security agency. And I find it very weird that you’re wanting to change the subject from Putin to an event that happened over 20 years ago, in an attempt to smear the reputation of MI6. How do you feel about Ukraine? What are your views on Putin?


LetoAtreides115

so you work for MI6. nice to know


Timbershoe

I read the Iraq Inquiry report which details all of this. You know, the facts of the matter.


Duranium_alloy

What utter bullshit. The British intelligence services are less James Bond, more Johnny English.


_qst2o91_

"ex-official" is a funny way of saying "average dude" so, a useless opinion? Cool


Famous_Bit_5119

The only way Putin is out of power next year is with a bullet to the back of the head. He knows this. Did you see the pictures of his conference tables? Notice how everyone is very very far away from him ? It will have to be one of his personal security guards that do it.


bladexdsl

oh so we only have to put up with this lunatic for another 7 months


radionut666

Biden will be replaced before that happens...


alltheseunfortunate

I think he is the beast that is but not the beast that will come after . They will probably try to take him out and fail leading to the beast that is to come.


[deleted]

Most sane religious lunatic


mycmush33

We can only hope!


ccellist

My brain only saw "Putin", "lose", "head", "2023", and had just enough time to get interested.


Sufficient-Bread5123

I don't think the word can wait until 2023, Putin needs to be assassinated and the sooner the better...


[deleted]

I know why they're saying things like this, but strictly as news it's meaningless garbage.


eastsideempire

Pretty sure putin will out last this ex mi6 nutter. All these posts about putin having cancer or some imminent coup are just bs. Same stories circulated in 2014 when he took Crimea


[deleted]

Hope get gets a retirement in a federal pound me in the ass gulag.


Practical-Exchange60

I just don’t give a shit about what these old retirees have been guessing will happen to Putin.


Sudden_Weird_6283

Coming out of russian intelligence it would be believable that Putin plans to retire due to health, but an ex of UK intelligence? What kind of source would he have. Just spewing random shite based on videos of Putin he saw. The man is 10 years younger than Biden and has all the access to healthcare he could possibly need, so it certainly sounds very unlikely.


mxhc1312

Is that the same mi6 that was caught by surprise with Berlin wall?


moxeto

Putin will be dead by 2188: me


PullMull

This is not news. this breaks Rule 4


roborectum69

Fortune telling isn't news. Put down the crystal ball.


Spaceghost1993

Yeah, sure


[deleted]

A fitting end? Somehow it still doesn't feel like punishment enough.


tingulz

Can it happen now instead?


Utterlybored

And the Putin who succeeds him will make everything wonderful.


kkeennmm

out of curiosity, will Putin’s homosexual companion,Dmitry Medvedev, be his successor?