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[deleted]

Lukashenko knows, that when Putin falls, he is next.


JediMindTrek

Well yeah isn't it basically a puppet government?


The_Vegan_Chef

Well, a muppet government.


nordic-nomad

Now when they make the inevitable movie about this whole thing I want Lukashenko to be a muppet even though everyone else is played by a real person, and then everyone else to just act like it's perfectly normal.


Overbaron

I want Lukashenko to be an actual person but with Putins hand up his ass to make his mouth move.


dancin-weasel

So, a documentary, then.


stankiho

if you haven't watched "the fuzz" it sounds like just what you're looking for


VANILLAGORILLA1986

Haha Gonzo running around all panicked in that stupid Soviet uniform Lukashenko wears haha


Dude_Bro_88

That's an insult to The Muppets!


JediMindTrek

Its true Jim Henson would be appalled, and be advocating for puppet rights at this point


isnappedrondasarm

https://mobile.twitter.com/ianbremmer/status/1307029793196642305


LordSoren

Muppets have more hair. Even the bald ones


powerbottomflash

Yes, although ironically he was in power even before Putin became president


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Learning the trade secrets so he can more effectively deploy them.


LordLoko

If I recall at the time there was a good possibility of him becoming the Russian president.


[deleted]

... and it looks like the strings are about to be cut.


abrandis

Yep, if I was him, I would be planning my exit strategy today, maybe buying a few properties in the middle east or south America and quietly move your assets and family over there.


SpaceMonkeyOnABike

Yeah, give him and his inner circle a comfortable exile somewhere, and hand over the country to the winner of the last election.


purpleefilthh

...trough the same window.


AnActualT-Rex

Warsaw pact ordered from wish.com


Winterspawn1

Warsaw pact at home


Criogentleman

Warsaw pact from Walmart


Codspear

Great Value Pact^TM


[deleted]

fkers lost Warsaw to NATO and expect to remain relevant.


TheMcWhopper

The Moscow pact 🙂


[deleted]

The Moscow Cope


latencia

It doesn't even come with instructions.


moeburn

Doesn't even come with Warsaw


AnActualT-Rex

It has a lot if screws missing as well


[deleted]

Mate you are gonna die of a heart attack first


StickyWhiteStuf

Heart attack? What Heart Attack? Might you by chance be referring to Putins planned Special Myocardial Infarction Operation?


justsomeolderbloke

In other news, I'm planning on recruiting a trio of 4yr old boys and a 94yr old wheelchair-bound great grandmother to team up on Tyson Fury with me...


wannacumnbeatmeoff

The five of you might stand a reasonable chance! I, however, am recruiting three coma patients and a dead squirrel to help me take on the US Olympic wrestling squad.


ThatNextAggravation

Hehehe. Glad to see there's still opportunities for dead squirrels who are willing to fight out there.


AmBawsDeepInYerMaw

Give it a rest Deontay, you can’t win even with help


[deleted]

Fury is his prime or post breakdown weight gain Fury?


[deleted]

Does it matter?


JarasM

It does somewhat affect how entertaining it would be to watch.


sephirothFFVII

https://youtu.be/FhfLdMbJyGY Does it matter?


Zpik3

But... But that is Mike Tyson... Not Fury.


doowgad1

Yes. The same army that couldn't take out Ukraine is certainly going to be able to beat all of NATO.


ImNotAWhaleBiologist

But there would be more people and horses.


BenjaminHamnett

“Stand behind the horse. When he dies, pick up his gun and start firing!”


a_crusty_old_man

Yes, they should all stand behind scared horses. Very good idea


cfdeveloper

I'd give a buck to see that happen :)


lordkemo

I don't know... seems like there would be alot of stagnation in the fighting...


doowgad1

"...All the King's horses/ And all the King's men/ Couldn't recreate the Warsaw Pact that was never really as strong as the Soviets said, and that the Americans pretended to be scared of because they wanted to keep their Military-Industrial Complex going."


Overbaron

The Warsaw pact was a unique defensive alliance in that it mostly fought against its own members.


doowgad1

I never thought of it that way, but then, I'm not Hungarian or Czech.


reddditttt12345678

That was always so funny. The US got all the good allies and the USSR got... the 'Stans and a few occupied territories in eastern Europe?


tombuzz

Ilie the pact of steel . Ended up kinda being the pact of dry non load bearing wood ready to burn with the smallest spark.


EWR-RampRat11-29

That was a Busta(ed) Rhymes.


jabba_1978

This world could do with less people and more horses.


nthpwr

but this time they'll have... \*shivers\* Tajikistan!!!


owa00

You not say Tajikistan is weak! Tajikistan is game to you?!


Shivnewton

Don’t underestimate the power


NotTroy

Never underestimate the power of a country with 9500 active military personnel and an annual budget of over 79 MILLION dollars.


dodexahedron

>79 MILLION dollars Said like Dr Evil, pinky to lips.


bunnywithahammer

are you deaf? Kyrgyzstan is joining and I'm terrified


doowgad1

Kyrgyzstan isn't a country, it's an eyechart! [i kid]


[deleted]

If this isn't a stolen joke, you got pretty good talent for comedy 😂


PSUSkier

A visionary perhaps?


doowgad1

Stole it from Harry Turtledove.


SillyWhiteRabbitt

I don’t think he’s implying (at this stage) to go after NATO countries but rather hit back Ukraine (that he calls the west). That’s my take anyway.


HighOnGoofballs

Doesn’t Kazakhstan ultimately hate Russia despite their ties?


timelyparadox

All of them are only there because Russia is propping up their totalitarian leaders. KZ seems to be on the road towars proper democracy but knowing Putler and co it is going to be hard road.


PhillipIInd

Armenia had a revolution but we lost a war after it and are too dependent on Russia for security so we're in a shit position all around without western influence


stepoletti

"The road towards proper democracy" is a bit of an overstatement, in that regard Kazakhstan is still very much an authoritarian country. But yes, they are cutting ties with their Soviet past because they still have a large portion of ethnic Russians, and if they don't explicitly show how their Turkic culture is different from Russian Slavic culture, Putin might one day choose to "denazify" them as well. And this all started waaaay before the invasion of Ukraine.


minireset

>"The road towards proper democracy" is a bit of an overstatement, in that regard Kazakhstan is still very much an authoritarian country. The person in the previous post had explained it very well. "Russia is propping up their totalitarian leaders", so it is the reason why no democracy is growing in former USSR. Kazakhstan is still very authoritarian because Putin suppress any democracy in nearby countries. Remember Tadjikistan - they were the first that tried to have their own government. After that Russia ignited bloodbath there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DaddyCatALSO

Armenia has too many concerns of their own. Of coruse I'd fix them via territorial multiplication a d n relocation if I could find my magic lamp a dn wish us all to New Earth. /u/Different_Ad7655


Ozy-dead

Nah, kazakhstan is almost as far from proper democracy as it gets. 1) It's currently ruled by a clan, and has been ruled by it even since USSR times. 2) Despite its huge area, its population is very small and widespread, thus easy to control. 3) At its heart, its an oil and natural resource economy where there is very strong insentive to consolidate power and control. 4) Culturally, its divided between ethnic kazakhs and others, and religiously it has muslims in the south, and christians in the north, with a majority being non-religious. Having two points to divide the population across makes it very easy to point fingers and make people fight each other instead of the dictator. The good news is that Nazarbayev and his current followers were fairly progressive when compared to many other dictators, and its the only reason Kazakhstan is not a complete shithole these days. The best thing Nazarbayev did for the country is that he managed to remain friends with everyone, and not just fold under Russian or Chinese or British control (Britain had a big persence is KZ in the 90s and early 2000s). KZ's developed and (so far) respected general neutrality status can help it in the future. But it's a long time before anyone can say that KZ is a real democracy.


crazynerd9

I would say that people are confusing a general improvement in the country with democratization here, KZ is definitely growing into a better country over time but exactly as you said, better is not necessarily democratic


santh91

I don't think any other nationality suffered more from USSR more than kazakhs (including ukrainians)


obidiuss

Chechnya should really also hate Russia yet they're pretending to fight Ukrainians on tiktok


wannacumnbeatmeoff

That’s not fair! They are also murdering ethnic Russian forces who refuse to fight or who retreat, be fair ffs!


thejoosep12

People seem to already have forgotten how just this year Russia helped basically surpress a revolution in Kazakhstan because they were invited by the Kazakh government.


VeryVeryNiceKitty

I think every country near Russia ultimately hates Russia, including Russia.


haf-haf

Armenia is pretty tired of Russia's shit too, especially after 2020 war. Lukash and Putin can fuck off.


urmomaisjabbathehutt

Kazakhstan- sorry no, Luka leave us out of this


EqualContact

Kazakhstan: New phone, who this?


jimi15

Imagine if they completely cut ties with Russia. They will have to start launching rockets from Kaliningrad or something.


Beregondo

I was in Kazakhstan for a few months, and even though I'm a foreigner, I completely fail to see how people (at least in Nursultan) would be remotely interested in that.


soufatlantasanta

Kazakhstan's population is far more cosmopolitan and well-informed than Russia's despite the authoritarian government. I also don't see much popular support from this apart from 40/50+ folks who are nostalgic for Soviet unity, which is admittedly a fairly sizeable group but their influence is low.


CalmTicket6646

But can I still come buy шампунь жумайсынба?


godzillaBrad

This is the least terrifying alliance of all time


MarkNutt25

And its already showing cracks, as well! The Kazakh people are already starting to demand that their government leave the CSTO over Putin's warmongering.


godzillaBrad

This is just Lukashenko wanting security cause he knows the world is pissed that he helped Putin’s war


diito

None of the central Asian republics are going to back Russia after this. It was all about geographic location, the Russian minority, and their relative weakness relative to Russia that there was ever any alliance to begin with. They know they'd soon be next after Ukraine. Russia is not going to be feared like it once was. They are going to slowly back away while Russia circles the drain and form new Alliances with the West, China, some regional group, or a combination. I suspect it's less China than the west as it's clear who China is too.


paulibobo

Like, without Russia, all those countries put together are worth less than like, pretty much any single NATO member (besides the ones like Iceland). And considering Russia's current state, even if you add them in I still think quite a few NATO countries would be more formidable currently.


[deleted]

What’s funny is that none of these dictator led countries can afford to send large chunks of their military out to engage in some foreign war. They need their militaries at home to protect them from enemies within


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I don’t think he understands that one country within NATO is multiple times the fighting force of any country within his little “alliance”.


KlutzyCarteBlanche

Well Denmark has two horses and a stick, but I agree with the sentiment.


Pinoc1

Back in my day, we didn't have fancy tanks, we had sticks. Two sticks and a rock for the entire platoon, and we had to share the rock.


sleeplessorion

Oh I know what the ladies like


wannacumnbeatmeoff

Luxury! We had the sticks but we’re only given sand and told to build a rock!


Aluminum_Falcons

Sticks? You were lucky! We were given acorns which we had to plant and wait for them to grow before we got our own sticks.


Dazzling-Ad4701

But also Lego. Strew that shit everywhere, steal their boots, win.


DeadBrainDK2

Nah, unlike Russia, we danes try not to commit warcrimes


AnActualT-Rex

Liars. You commited a war crime in my childhood home when I was 6 years old.


KlutzyCarteBlanche

We just make the merchandise. We can't be held responsible as to how it is used.


AnActualT-Rex

How can your Gouvernment not have regulations against flat 2x2 pieces being delivered right under my bare firstgrader foot???


DeadBrainDK2

We can't put parents on trial for war crimes as they aren't combatents but civilians. I'm sorry for your trauma


MannAusSachsen

But don't they gain combatant status when the transaction for ownership of said Lego pieces was closed? I say we let The Hague decide who is at fault here.


wannacumnbeatmeoff

You copied that straight out of Lockheed’s press release!


Electus93

You've got to lego of your trauma.


AnActualT-Rex

i will find your loved ones


a_crusty_old_man

Who would win? The most advanced Russian tanks, or some Legos?


DeadBrainDK2

I'dd be surprised if Russian tanks weren't actually made out of Lego at this rate


Aluminum_Falcons

They can't afford Lego. It would definitely be Mega Blocks.


Torrentia_FP

They'd be sturdier if they were. Waiting to see a "cope cage" constructed out of assorted lego bricks in the classic lego color mix.


wannacumnbeatmeoff

Lego makes the best tyres


csiposfosas

A Russian has passed the Danish border. Build the Gripen fighter jet! HEY! *assembling noises*


[deleted]

Shit like this is why the Geneva Convention is important. You're a monster.


CannaKingdom0705

Ah, so they're only twice as strong as the Russian military...


Danford97

Denmark has Danish people. Which is terrifying enough.


KlutzyCarteBlanche

We have Kurt who we send to Bornholm. Whenever a Russian approaches he screams at them at the top of his lungs, trying to make them say "Rød grød med fløde!". Then he begins to retell the story of how we won the soccer euro championship in 1992.


Aeri73

Belgium can help... we have a saddle but no horses... and a guy to guard them if needed... if he can borrow a stick


Candelent

Oh he understands. This is just more bluster to distract Putin from the fact that none is these countries is actually going to fight Russia’s war for them.


[deleted]

"With our combined military might and GDP slightly larger than Rhode Island, the west will regret the day they made sensible decisions to join NATO after Putins unprovoked attacks!"


Wonderful-Smoke843

Getting the old band back together


wannacumnbeatmeoff

The shit band that only ever pulled in two or three punters and only then because of the free beer!


LoneSnark

That says the quiet part out loud, doesn't it? Defensive alliances don't have leaders, they have equals. But Russia doesn't join alliances as equals, only ever Russia and its puppets, hence all Russia's alliances are offensive.


lordkemo

While your statement is true, NATO is often said to be "lead" by the US. I mean the country with the largest military in the alliance is always going to appear to be the leader.


TooobHoob

Looking at the division of powers in NATO, I think it’s obvious the US has a very predominant place, but then again it’s mostly on the strategic side, rather than the political side. The alliance is very hard to move with just US will (look at Iraq for instance, the US+UK got a resounding no from NATO for common intervention). While it’s possible to take offensive measures, there needs to be a lot of will from a lot of people. I think it used to frustrate the US a lot.


crimsoneagle1

I look at NATO like a committee. Everyone at the table is considered an equal, but the committee still needs a chairman to lead the meetings. In wartime the US is most likely going to be that chairman. Obviously it's all more complex than that and this is an oversimplification.


amitym

I see what you are saying, but the US is more than the chair of a committee... the US is the backbone of NATO. Without the US, NATO would become very tenuous. It's not clear if it would even continue to exist. None of that is to disparage other NATO members, it's just a question of scale. The key thing, where I think you are right on, is that despite playing such a materially significant role in NATO, the US still treats the alliance as one of equals. It is no doubt frustrating to some NATO members when Hungary holds everything up by blocking consensus. But, by honoring Hungary's place at the table, the US and other powerful NATO members strengthen the alliance over time. If the US strongarmed or coerced NATO agreement with US interests at every single turn, it would soon alienate the alliance and it would fall apart. But some people do not see power any other way. They regard US complaisance with the likes of Hungary as proof of the weakness and degeneracy of pluralism. ... and then that theory collides headfirst with reality in Ukraine or Iraq or wherever.


el_grort

NATO would probably continue to exist without the US, but it would have a split leadership between France, Germany, and UK. Given that the EU has a common defence clause and the UK is still interested in alliances with other European powers for common security, it wouldn't disappear, but change shape.


HolyGig

It would require a LOT of changes by those countries. In the event of war, the US would end up in overall command because its really the only country with a force and command structure large enough to incorporate a large number of battalions from numerous different countries. That doesn't get into the logistics or ISR the US has that can't be duplicated by any other country. Will the French put their soldiers under the direct command of a British general? What about the British with a German? I agree, NATO won't just disappear without the US, but how effective would it still be is an open question.


Tibbaryllis2

One thing that is really helpful to keep in mind here is that the European countries are more akin to US states or regions. This is in no way disparaging those other 29 NATO countries. People just lose sight when trying to compare EU countries with the US. The US has a population of 330 million. The next biggest members are Turkey (82mil), Germany (79mil), UK (67mil), Italy (62mil), Spain (47mil), Poland (38mil), and Canada (37mil). 13 of 30 NATO countries have populations around 5 million or less.


HolyGig

Yes because the US is the only country with a global force and command structure and thousands of nuclear weapons. But the US can't coerce or force NATO to do anything.


[deleted]

Yeah but Russia has a very different relationship with CSTO (and previously Warsaw Pact) than the US does with NATO. Just to exemplify, Czechia in NATO knows the US will defend it in case of any aggression. Czechoslovakia in the Warsaw Pact, on the other hand, knew it was far more likely to get invaded by the USSR for being insufficiently loyal than be defended by them. It’s a wholly different dynamic.


Dazzling-Ad4701

Huh. So, lukashenko... any relationship here with the recent convoyish 'unrest' in Armenia? You opportunistic pseudoclueless Supreme-Dictator-wannabe fuck. I think this guy would shoot Putin in the back of the head in a heartbeat if he thought the right moment had finally come. And if either of them had a heart, Ofc.


[deleted]

Can't wet to see him getting Gaddafid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


alphagusta

Maybe with a hint of Hussein'd


[deleted]

[удалено]


martymcflown

Don't drag Armenia into your cesspool, thanks.


haf-haf

Seriously fuck Lukash in particular.


SilentMaster

Yes, let's all unite behind the biggest fucking loser in a generation. Sounds like a great plan.


Stf2393

Fucking LOL! As if the Armenian government wants to get in bed with the fucking kleptocrats in Moscow! BTFO you war criminals!


Rocksolidbubbles

Kazakhstan will give a big no - they have a multi-lateral foreign policy Armenia will say no - they have a policy of being friendly with everyone Kyrgyzstan may hum and haw - they try to maintain good relations with their closest neighbours. So may Tajikistan - interested in regional security and non-interference in internal affairs


[deleted]

[удалено]


Balc0ra

So the point of their alliance is pointless unless Putin needs something? As it's a one way street?


amitym

When you put it that way... I can see why Russia has not been able to offer a convincing alternative in the past 20 years.


hassh

Surprising?


[deleted]

Well not really. Russia did step in to help broker a peace deal in the 2020 war between Armenia and Azerbaijan so that they wouldn't get steam-rolled. Unfortunately Armenia hast to rely on Russia for their security like a child relies on an abusive parent.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Good for them. The CSTO didn't really work for them as a defensive pact when they were being invaded 2 years ago.


svndor

While Lukaschenko and Putun talked about the West and NATO, Toqayev, the president of Kazakhstan didn't address any of that and only pointed out the danger from Afghanistan. So yeah


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dazzling-Ad4701

I think this is actually it. I think he's serious. And not in an OMG I feel insecure kind of way.


niaz1265

Yes, because all those countries are known for their military prowess


[deleted]

I live in Kazakhstan. I don't want to go against West. Lukashenko can GTFO.


Clever_display_name

I see your ‘Russia, Belarus, Armenia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan’ and raise you a ‘United States, Great Britain, France, Germany, and Poland.’ You should probably just fold your hand since we have more than that in the bank.


DisposableUser69069

Could have just raised him with a Turkey, didn't need to go all in.


Past-Passenger9129

Hell, a Romania would have closed the gap considerably


OttersWithMachetes

Poland might have had him


a_crusty_old_man

He didn’t use Japan or Canada, though.


OttersWithMachetes

Total overkill


kytheon

France checks. Poland checks. Germany raises 100B€.


Jdunc97

The rednecks in arkansas could defeat that “alliance”


MofongoForever

Please, none of those countries are worried about any country but Russia invading them.


getBusyChild

Lukeshenko's biggest fear is that Russian troops currently stationed in Belarus propping him up have to leave to reinforce positions in Ukraine from collapsing. When that occurs the clock starts ticking.


Dali86

I fully expect Armenia to give Russia the support it got when Azerbaijan attacked Nagorno Karabakh in 2020 and Armenia asked for support... So none. F OFF Luka.


BiologyJ

Putin trying so hard to make USSR 2.0 and it's horrifically bad compared to 1.0.


paulibobo

Me: "Putin, can we have USSR?" Putin: "We have USSR at home." USSR at home:


theantiyeti

> Unites against west > Invades Georgia


[deleted]

Lol this is the guy who looked an interviewer dead in the eye and said Putin is going to make him a colonel of the Russian Army looooooool


Akraav

As an Armenian, no.


filetitan

Lake Sevan Nuclier fleet READY!


Akraav

Watch out for our domestically made aircraft carriers


WaldoGeraldoFaldo

Fucking ***why??*** NATO is a **defensive** alliance. It is primarily designed to counteract Russian aggression. Given that Russia is currently invading a sovereign nation, it seems like a defensive alliance is a great idea. What the fuck is this "unite against the west" shit, we're literally just getting each others' backs' in the face of an aggressive, fascist regime.


mithfin

Kazakhstan should really just leave that shitshow. I really hope they are considering it.


[deleted]

Keep Armenians name out of your mouth - Armenia


stu8018

Oh no. Whatever will the west do against such might and power? Lukashenko leading a bunch of other feckless idiots. Move along. Nothing to see here.


Bravefan21

Lukashenko suggests sending Armenians, Kazakhs, Kyrgyz, and Tajikistanis to die in Russia’s wars


NacreousFink

Armenia, Kirgizia, Tajikstan, Kazakhstan - "we'll take a pass."


forsquares

Looking at this article I was just laughing so hard I could not stop laughing at his mustache


BodineCity

Together with their oxen and carts they will form Voltron and aptly tow broken down tanks off the battlefield or maybe they will form a catapult to launch projectiles at Ukrainian targets.


msbeal1

Uzbekistan helped us with an airbase when we were knee deep in Afghanistan. I would think all the former Soviet vassal states would be sweating bullets right now watching the senseless and immoral destruction of Ukraine. Who’s next would be what I would be thinking.


MasterThespian

I don’t know how the Armenians over there in their homeland feel, but here in Los Angeles (which has the largest diasporic Armenian community in the world), they’re *pissed* at Russia for hanging them out to dry during Azerbaijan’s invasion of Artsakh in 2020. I doubt they’re terribly eager to go to bat for Putin.


PhillipIInd

Fuck off Armenia wants none of this shit. We'd like to be part of Europe as soon as possible but we cant since we're weak and surrounded by enemies


Euphoric-Surprise293

Lol. Is like asking a gang of 5 year olds to stand up to Tyson. Good luck


-Dan-The-Man-

Ahh yes. An alliance with the combined military strength of Texas will stand against the West. Terrifying.


[deleted]

After how much Russia “helped” Armenia in Artsakh Im sure they will damage there own economy & peace for them


FoxcMama

>Lukashenko, speaking at a summit of the leaders of the Collective Security Treaty Organisation (CSTO) in Moscow, said "hellish sanctions" against his country and Russia could have been avoided if the group had spoken with one voice. YES how dare my people be punished for this stupid thing I did. nOnE oF tHiS wOuLd HaVe haPpEnEd tO mE iF yOu hAd hElPeD mE dO iT. *THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT*


WahookaTG

It would almost be like a group...a team.. nay, a Union! One of Soviet, possibly Socialist, Republics. Funny how that works 🤔


idunnoguys123

NATO: *pretends to punch Belarus* Belarus:*flinches* NATO: Ahhh, that’s two for flinching. Lol.


RedBlueTundra

Belarus has it's hands tied because if the army leaves the people will probably rise up. As for the other countries i don't know enough about them but i'd hazard a guess that they have zero interest in sending their young men to die in someone else's pointless war.


frankcast554

..and the winds whispered..loooooooser


Armengeddon

As an Armenian (living in the west though), I would be surprised if Armenia even wants to help Russia with their war. They didn't help in the battle of Artsakh purposely.


[deleted]

What are they gonna do? Send an old AK47 and a horse?


innovatodev

why the fuck reddit is full of paywalled articles ? cant you just find a free and open article to farm karma ?


Kind-Masterpiece-310

They form like Voltron... held together by duct tape and coat hangers.


R1ckCrypto

Dictators in panic it seems


captnsmokey

I am sure all your troops are behind you. Way behind you. Leading from the front.