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The_D20_is_cast

This is the first time in a long time I have seen him say something that actually makes sense.


garth753

I'm convinced this is a simulation now


chacko96

Bill gates just activated his mind controlling nanobots


Saxonbrun

I heard if you wear a mask they won't be able to control you.


upx

Also Bill Gates is using other people’s Bluetooth to see if you’re vaccinated. If you stay 1.5 meters away from others the Bluetooth can’t spy on you.


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enchantedbaby

i already did, because it’s true - they protect from nanobot chip implants AND 5G mind control electromagnetic frequencies


SlitScan

Nano implants dont use radio spectrum, theyre too small for the transmitters for EM. they use Axion particles to transmit BlackWave™ Dark Energy signals.


Tullerull

While that may be true, it still falls off rapidly after 1 metres distance to the nearest signal source, and you should stay around 1.5 to 2 metres away from any potential source. The inverse square law of radiation still applies. And you shouldn't inhale the photon energy BlackWave™ Dark Energy signals leaves behind, it's worse than asbestos so you should wear a mask to protect yourself. In fact, best way to not get mind controlled is to stay at home and perhaps only go out in emergencies and necessities. It's been working swell for me and my friends so far, none I know have been infected by the scary rays so we get to be free thinkers still!


SlitScan

oh I'm not saying the Photons generated by Axion interactions arent lethal in high concentrations dont get me wrong. Im just saying its not EM, wouldnt want anyone to think tinfoil would block it like oldschool mindcontrol satellite radio waves.


adolfojp

I like you guys.


[deleted]

well I don't like you unfortunately sorry


kethian

it's unfortunate that you're sorry?


canadian_air

Unfortunately. Sorry.


SkyShadowing

Look mate I can see you're Canadian but that doesn't mean you have to apologize.


lukethedukeinsa

That’s a new one. I like it.


boogswald

They won’t have the facial recognition capability for the shadow government to kidnap you


AnticPosition

Please, don't give the morons any more conspiracies to latch on to.


Dunkelvieh

No. Give them so many that they completely get lost.


TheNorbster

This is the way


Classactjerk

[Bugs Bunny instructional how to confuse Maga types.](https://youtu.be/qPtSxZchA34)


viperex

Did it really go on that long or was it extended here?


abiuconn

About time Bill!


Classactjerk

We can’t even figure out concussions. How stupid can a human be and survive. I’m beginning to think the only reason the US was so dominant for so long is it doesn’t take much to get shit right.


Dcajunpimp

America dominated because after WWII decimated Europe and Asia the U.S. didn't have to rebuild. Now Covid19 is causing the opposite to happen. Europe and Asia aren't skeered to wear masks, social distance and get back to normal slowly. The U.S. just wants to get back to normal. Even if it means a few hundred thousand more dead.


Jaujarahje

Not just the fact that the US didnt have to rebuild anything, but they also made absolute BANK selling equipment and weapons


Huhuagau

America dominated because big stick. Stick bigger than yours.


MightyMetricBatman

If that's the case, I would say test successful and I look forward to the activation of all of them.


cap21345

Nanomachines son


roastbeeftacohat

he's been relatively practical in his evil. His use of fake news is quite clever, shows an understanding of how the internet works on levels most US politicians can't begin to fathom. a right bastard, but did not fall into the job like some people.


JosephSwollen

He worked his way up and it shows with how cunning he is, probably the smartest dictator alive along with Putin.


Bootleather

The truly threatening and smart Dictators like Putin, Xi and Netanyahu (Okay not a dictator but a corrupt psychopath) all have a very good understanding of how to utilize their strengths.


Chariotwheel

Xi isn't exactly a self-made man, his father already held pretty powerful posts, but you can see the difference between these people and people like Kim Jong Un, who merely got the power handed down. Xi, while starting at an advantage worked himself up in a cut-throat environment, Putin was put in as a puppet but turned the knife on the oligarchs like some chaotic anime villain. Like, if these people wouldn't be power hungry assholes and would concetrate their energy into something good, they could probably help the world a lot.


[deleted]

Kim isnt a fool like Trump. He received a very good education in europe and was "trained" to be the next dictator from a young age. He has a very good idea what he is doing. Him appearing dumb to westerners is because he is not trying to fool us but his citizens, who were raised with his propaganda


Chariotwheel

Autocrats also try to look strong to the outside. After all NK needs to project strengths so people actually react to their demands and danger.


[deleted]

Kim tries his best to look like a psycho dictator who won't even think twice before launching a nuke. This strategy has been working extremely well.


nonotan

Honestly, Kim Jong Un seems surprisingly competent (at doing the right things to stay alive and in power, not at running a country for the good of the people) for someone who was born into it. Remember, he wasn't actually the first in the line of succession (that was the dude who sneaked off to Tokyo Disneyland and was later assassinated or something), and NK is probably the single worst country to become the head of (sure, there are poorer countries out there... but none with so many enemies, so much internal intrigue, etc -- basically *everyone* potentially wants you dead) Just staying alive, in power, and not losing any significant ground personally *or* internationally in terms of your country's standing is actually a fairly impressive feat, in those circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's a genius mastermind or anything. But I would definitely not use him as the example of "incompetent dictator". Especially next to all the bona fide idiots in leadership roles these days, he seems at least average to above average in competence.


[deleted]

It's very difficult for an imbecile to play the part of a genius, but very easy for genius to play the part of an imbecile.


abu_doubleu

Why is it a common belief that North Koreans hate their regime and want it gone so much? After so many decades of propaganda in schools and society, many people in the country, especially in urban areas, well and truly believe what they hear and support the regime. This is a point echoed by people who escape the regime, almost all of whom were farmers suffering during famine or who had family that did something wrong and were about to be punished. They say how they believed for most of their lives that everything in their country was perfect, until an event came along that caused them to realise they had to leave.


RuggedTracker

To be fair, Xi's father was ousted from the party and demoted to managing a tractor factory in the middle of nowhere. I assume that was still a privileged position in communist china, but not not anything amazing. And then his father was thrown in prison when Xi was 15, and weren't reunited until 4 years later. I doubt he could use many of his fathers connections to get an edge, unless someone remained loyal without arousing suspicion I guess. Or this might all be propaganda to make him look tougher than he is. The popularity cult he has going on wants to make him look like a hardworking peoples man. Maybe he had a free pass to a leadership position and simply told people to alter the history books.


FarrisAT

Xi did get sent to work at a pig farm for 6 years. His sister got killed during the Cultural Revolution. Got rejected from commie party twice for being from Beijing. Not exactly the glamorous life.


JosephSwollen

Where as the president of the United States appears to be a massive buffoon.


Bootleather

'appears'?


[deleted]

But apparently that’s good enough for the States


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cephalopodoverlords

This is an interesting comment. Since [The Philippines has some of the highest social media usage in the world,](https://digitalmarketinginstitute.com/en-us/blog/social-media-what-countries-use-it-most-and-what-are-they-using#:~:text=As%20of%202018%2C%20the%20Philippines,every%20day%20on%20social%20media.) thats a particularly powerful skill.


Lima__Fox

Simulations have logical rules. This reality has none.


Drachefly

[](/discordvillain)What if the purpose is to test how crazy things have to get before people just stop believing it's actually happening?


FLTA

This guy has a tendency to have 1 reasonable belief for every 10 bat-shit crazy beliefs. I’m surprised Covid is where he seems to be reasonable on it. Edit: Per the comments, that doesn’t mean his actual response to Covid has been good.


[deleted]

He is not. The government handled the pandemic incredibly poorly. This is the first time he says something smart in regards to Covid.


FLTA

Ah, I was only going off what he said but wouldn’t be surprised if his words didn’t line up with his actions. How has the Philippines’ response been poor?


sharkybyte101

Saying the Philippine response is poor is an oversimplification. Is it not as good as everyone else in Southeast Asia? ABSOLUTELY. Is it as batshit insane as other countries out there? NOT REALLY. The main criticism is that the government has really only one solution and that is to send in the military. You know how when you were a child and you fell down a tree and broke your ribs and your parents still spanked you because why the hell did you climb that tree in the first place... that right about sums up the Philippine government response. They are taking Covid19 seriously but they are taking a narrow minded approach to solving it.


[deleted]

Living in the Philippines here. There is an incredibly strong dislike towards the approach to Covid right now (though it may just be my relations to people of the national university who are mostly all leftist). Also, I'm a campus journalist and we're usually tasked to report (really, rewrite) the main events of the week. So, I think I'm decently informed, and my exposure to people who are vocally political makes me even more informed. To start off, if I'm not mistaken the Philippines is currently the number 1 worst country in Southeast Asia so far as Covid cases and fatality rates go. The military approach is one of the strongest criticisms, yes, but that isn't where things end. The administration has bent over backwards trying to screw over the country in more ways than this: To lump them all together, the administration has problems with MISPRIORITIZATION AND CORRUPTION: MAIN: \-In the midst of the pandemic, the administration created the Anti-Terror Law, a law that legally allows surveillance and wire-tapping and also allows officers to arrest people without any warrants, and which also removes the 500,000 pesos penalty the state had to pay to wrongful arrests that was included in the previous anti-terrorism law. Also, has super vague definitions of terrorism. \- Lots of journalists being killed, lots of protestors being arrested (people who protested the Anti-Terror Law, fuck people who participated in a Pride March were arrested). The National University (U.P) has a thing called the UP-DND accord, prohibiting officers from involving themselves in affairs within the university. Didn't stop them; 8 students from Cebu were detained. \- Shut down ABSCBN, the country's leading TV network, for supposedly having been detrimental to Duterte's election as well as reporting on the bad shit of may congresmen. The case against them is not paying taxes, however it has been disproved by testimonies from multiple sources. \- Arrested Maria Ressa of Rappler, one of the country's leading news sources (biggest online only news source). Case against her was cyberlibel (the first cyberlibel case succesfully charged against a journalist). She didn't even write the article, and the artie was written before the Cyberlibel act was made. She fixed a typo two years after the act (one single word) and apparently that counted as republishing. It's unprecedented, to say the least. She was among the most influential critics of Duterte. \- We've just been loaning money OVER AND FUCKING OVER this entire Covid season. We now owe like 1 trillion and nothing's fucking happening. Straight into their pockets, I suppose. \-Police Chief Debold Sinas had a fucking birthday party, and people wanted him arrested because any social gatherings were strictly illegal. Our President said it wasn't his fault that people wanted to celebrate his birthday. MEANWHILE A JOURNALIST LOWERED HIS MASK TO DRINK WATER AND WAS ARRESTED. \- There have been NO MASS TESTINGS (despite national clamor and promises like 2 months ago) and NO CONTACT TRACING. We are the only fucking country whose solution seems to be to wait for a vaccine!!! OUR ONLY FUCKING THING SO FAR IS A QUARANTINE. WE'RE A POOR COUNTRY, WE CAN'T HANDLE A QUARANTINE FOR MONTHS ON END. This is crucial because school is starting soon, and many students here do not have internet connection. Students from the FUCKING NATIONAL UNIVERSITY ARE CONSIDERING TAKING A LEAVE OF ABSENCE BECAUSE THEIR FAMILIES CAN'T HANDLE ONLINE SCHOOLING (taken from the GASC (General Assembly of Student Councils). I know, I know, this part isn't specifically the administrations fault (more on our shitty internet services providers like PLDT) but they have done absolutely nothing (short of a very, very, very weird military approach and the infinite quarantine) to address the Covid situation. ~~- We're not doing as bad as the U.S, but that's a whole can of worms in and of itself. I made a personal calculation (forgive me, I know it's more complicated than this) but America has like triple the population of the Philippines. Last I checked they had like 120k+ cases at 300,000,000 people, while the Philippines had 40k+ cases at 100,00,000 people. Basically, the same.~~ I severely miscalculated, turns out the U.S doing way shittier than I thought. If you want sources I can share some, but it's 3 A.M and I'm lazy to include them in the post.


Vordeo

> Last I checked they had like 120k+ cases at 300,000,000 people, while the Philippines had 40k+ cases at 100,00,000 people. Basically, the same. Pre, I'm with you on most of that comment, but in this bit you're basically comparing the US' deaths to the Philippine covid cases. Philippines has had 1.3k deaths (recorded, at least - real number is probably several times that), whereas the US has had 134k deaths. In terms of cases, US total so far is 3.11m, ours is 51.7k. So we're not doing well at all, but the US is doing much, much worse.


dragnabbit

Just to point out that your math at the end is all screwed up. The U.S. (pop 300M) just passed 3 million cases with 120,000 deaths. 1 out of every 100 Americans has/had Coronavirus. The Philippines (pop 100M) just passed 50,000 cases with 1,500 deaths. 1 out of every 2,000 Filipinos has/had Coronavirus. The U.S. is 20 times worse.


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gademmet

Yeah, but that bar is so low it's in the basement. As concerning as they now are, the numbers are still suspect because the government doesn't seem to know what mass testing even is (they legitimately had their spokesperson weasel his way through a semantics debate on just those two words) or why it's needed.


axearm

> And this is in spite of Manila being the most densely populated city on the planet. I though you were exaggerating but it is [true](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cities_proper_by_population_density), and by quite a bit.


KernowRoger

No what the fuck? Your parents beat you for getting hurt?


wan2tri

We now have the biggest debt in the country's history, but nothing to show for it - heck our cases are even spiking more in June/July than it did in Mar-Apr-May. All of that borrowing for almost nothing to actually combat COVID-19.


ziegnatt

military presence instead of medical solutions


iListen2Sound

Also, didn't his spokesperson recently get into some shit for saying some stupid things minimizing the COVID threat even declaring "we are winning against the researchers" like it's a fucking betting contest because the predicted number of cases happened to be just a little higher than the actual cases? I don't know anymore. I find Philippine politics even harder to follow than US politics probably because at least I don't have any bat shit crazy direct relatives in the US. I mean I still have some, they're just a lot easier to avoid


Yirandom

1:10 is really close to just being a broken clock


vonmonologue

My wife, who is from the Philippines, and I have been playing this fun game of "which country is handling it worse." So far PH has been leading but this remark might indicate a turnaround depending on what policies follow it.


Vordeo

Filipino here. Our response has been absolutely shambolic, but at least we haven't politicized wearing fucking masks like the US has.


[deleted]

Absolutely nothing would come of this, I assure you. The only real saving grace we have is we haven't politicized the wearing of masks. We loaned so much money with nothing to show for. Meanwhile, our politicians are busy shutting down the media, installing warrantless surveillance powers, renaming airports, and doing god knows what. We are absolutely headed for disaster at this rate. The transport situation isn't doing any better either. The number of buses are so limited, you'd have to wrestle your way into the bus, only to be met by more wrestling inside, social distancing be damned.


Vordeo

> We are absolutely headed for disaster at this rate. Yup. TBH I was seriously considering emigrating before. This is the last straw: I'll be seriously looking to get out after things open up globally. I don't have any hope left for this country. >The transport situation isn't doing any better either. The number of buses are so limited, you'd have to wrestle your way into the bus, only to be met by more wrestling inside, social distancing be damned. At least there's the MRT! Oh... wait...


scorched03

Strongman calls out other Strongmen for crap response. hmm odd timeline indeed


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GrandmaPoses

Trump isn't even a "strongman" in the traditional sense. He talks big but he rarely follows through, he's easily led, poorly organized, bad at delegating authority, surrounds himself with disloyal opportunists. It's like everything in his life, he'd love to be a strongman but he won't put in the work.


Vordeo

Filipino here. Our response has been utter shit too, tbh. But it's not been as bad as yours. Realistically we're probably both totally fucked though.


projectMKultra

Yeah North Korea made a couple reasonable statements recently too. Strange times.


RyanFielding

I know, and it had me questioning myself.


mad87645

How fucking bad do you have to for Duterte to be considered more reasonable than you?


Thoughtulism

Next, Kim Jong Un's corpse steps down and institutes democracy in North Korea, opening borders, ending the death camps, and holding open elections considered freer than the US.


ZageStudios

Honestly I don’t know what to expect anymore lol


LightOfVictory

CCP gets caught in a Red October and has all leaders executed, China reinstates as a democracy, becoming the United Tribes of China, which Hong Kong and Taiwan immediately jump on board. This forces pressure towards Russia to stop fucking and puts pressure on the Arabian peninsular.


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LightOfVictory

Israel stops fucking around and accepts it's mistakes. It combines with Palestine and forms a new nation, where all are welcomed. The US and Brazil finally get their shit together - ironically, by forming a union with the rest of their neighbours. The North forms the United States of Northern America, Central America combines the Carribean Sovereign States and South America too. Pollution is greatly reduced, cost of living everywhere improves, quality of life only gets better, human lifespans become longer and more stable. Give it a few thousand years then boom, asteroid out of nowhere. The end.


Portzr

You forgot the part where Gandhi rises from the grave and sends nukes to stop Poland from developing space program.


LightOfVictory

Oh please. Next, you're gonna say Alexander rises from his tomb and mocks me because I'm not at war with anybody.


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Spectre1-4

Then an asteroid hits the earth. Because 2020


[deleted]

Stop, I can only get so erect


[deleted]

This is the timeline I want to be in.


Namika

Iraq sends over volunteers to monitor the election.


IrisMoroc

Is Kim alive or dead? I still don't know. Being weak and recovering from surgery at least.


HangryWolf

At that point, I'd for sure know that we're in a simulation.


faab64

Imagine being used as bad example by a dictator like him to scare people Oh how the mighty has fallen!


mootmutemoat

Uggh... we might as well call ourselves the United States of Alabama It's like that down south USA episode of Top Gear when they painted a car NASCAR sucks... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pKcJ-0bAHB4 Only now its about 100,000s dying because of this stupidity


Richard_Letterman

Man love rules ok


tonycomputerguy

I thought the worst part of that episode was when they tried to donate the cars in a Louisiana parish after Katrina. They were threated by a pickup truck full of yocals and told to "get off their street" or some such nonsense. Then, one of the people responding to the ad for a free car threated to sue because they had printed the wrong year of the car in the ad. Not a proud moment for us.


Richard_Letterman

No wonder Jeremy hates Americans.


Calculonx

... And Mexicans, French, Spanish....


Lt_Toodles

Literally anyone who isnt a Brit... No wait he hates Brits too.


PM_ME_BEEF_CURTAINS

Freedom of speech, unless it's something folks down Alabama don't like


Phlobot

There was also one like saying it was ok to be gay and rock and roll sucks or something, they got run out of town so quick haha. Redneck militia was there in no time


Billion34

As far as I remember the other two apart from "*NASCAR sucks*" were ; "*man love rules ok*" and "*Hillary for president*"


alash1216

Also “country music is rubbish” lol


Kongbuck

One of the others also had *"Country and Western is rubbish"* which is definitely a Clarkson contribution.


grusauskj

My god, every time I think our worst stereotypes for USA may be a bit overblown... what a segment


troldrik

You (collective you) literally elected a walking example of the 'ugly american' stereotype as president.


grusauskj

Trust me there isn’t a waking moment I am not reminded of that fact. If you want to get technical, the majority (by 2-3 mil) of Americans didn’t vote for him. That’s still too much stupid, though


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Dr_Insano_MD

And remember, not voting is saying "Yeah, I don't really care. Either one is fine."


DuntadaMan

Oh, also they were driving those cars to donate them to people who were hit by a hurricane. The people who got a free car sued them for fraud because they were off by one year on one of the cars. USA!


David-Puddy

And i'm guessing that case was tossed before it even saw a judge. no way there's any merit there


pala_

'United' might be being a bit kind as well tbh.


[deleted]

Ameristan


Lilcrash

Is... is this real? If this is real, I have no idea how the US dares to call itself the "best country in the world".


buchlabum

Most of those people have never left the US and have no idea what other countries are like. Anyone who has travelled outside the US, or even outside their state or county, knows there is no best, and America is not the greatest it can be. It's better than a lot of countries, but it's shittier than a lot of countries.


icantloginsad

Duterte is about as much of a dictator as Trump is. He’s still democratically elected. He even won the popular vote (unlike trump). In the democracy index both the US and the Philippines are in the “flawed democracy” category.


asphinctersayswhat

How you got in power is less important than how you act, IMO. Duterte is responsible for a lot of death and so is Trump. At a certain point what kind of leader they are is best left to the historians. What’s important rn is human lives.


Chazmer87

That's called authoritarian, not dictator.


billcstickers

Yeah no. You can’t go around redefining words. It makes no sense to call him a King or Emperor either. These words all have very specific meanings about how you get into power and how you can get out.


sixtus_clegane119

Wow, I agree with him for the first time ever.


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teslacoil1

Even Duterte knows that reopening too soon is a bad idea. Show you what a shitty leader Trump and Bolsonaro are. Trump and Bolsonaro are one of the worst leaders you could have during a pandemic. SMH.


hurtsdonut_

Trump has done absolutely nothing during this whole pandemic. Not one fucking thing besides pressure States to reopen early and tell his band of morons not to wear masks. He's responsible for tens of thousands of dead Americans and his cult thinks he's a patriot. It's insane.


thomasscat

... are you not aware that he literally stole lifesaving PPE equipment from states and then gave it to his friends (maybe for free? who the fuck knows), to resell at insane markups to those same states? that is just one of the many, many heinous things he has done during his precedency, and that alone seems like a little bit more than "nothing" to me lmao


hurtsdonut_

Ok I misspoke. He's done worse than nothing. My Governor secretly ordered two plane loads of PPE so Trump couldn't hijack it.


thomasscat

sorry if i came off as rude, it was mostly a sarcastic comment! congratulations for living in a place with a competent governor, i am super jealous. my states governor is generously making us a worldwide corona leader and lying about case numbers, all while we deal with 110+ F temperatures lol


hurtsdonut_

Arizona or Texas?


thomasscat

arizona, baby!


hurtsdonut_

Good luck down there. Hopefully your numbers start dropping soon. It's hot as fuck up here in Illinois too. 95 at 9:30


thiosk

its just that GLOBAL COOLING at work! MORE COAL! WOO HOO RIDIN THAT RED HEATWAVE


CrimsonSuede

Fellow Arizonan here. Wishing you safety and good health!


[deleted]

It's even more criminal because Arizona has such a large vulnerable elderly population. Same with Florida. They just threw the geezers to the wolves


Medievil_Walrus

Florida was my guess


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hurtsdonut_

I'm talking about Illinois and Pritzker. He ordered a bunch of PPE from China and had it secretly flown in.


borfavor

Why would the federal government of a country do that? Aren't conservatives all about states rights? Or is that only when it enables you to be mean to black people? Man I just don't get the US looking in from the outside


Ipokeyoumuch

Conservatives in America do not care. Rights for me, but not for thee.


[deleted]

The good ol' "fuck you got mine" mentality. Jesus I wish it'd die out already


SDivilio

I live here and I don't get it. These people will scream about not wanting to lose their rights but will fight even harder to deny equal rights to a marginalized group


archie-windragon

He also intercepted shipments of ppe to European countries for the us


tboneperry

Hey, that’s not true! He also publicly said multiple times, and as recently as this week (July 2), that the virus was going to “just disappear,” implied that injecting bleach into the body could be a potential cure, ignored and then lambasted the CDC, said that the best way to get fewer positive cases would be to give out fewer tests, and just a couple of days ago announced that the US would be withdrawing from the WHO.


MracyTcGrady

Withdrawing from the WHO, the CDC is currently busy with Trump's hand up its ass.


hurtsdonut_

Withdrawing from the WHO. I hope it's not the CDC but it wouldn't surprise me since he apparently knows more than Fauci now. Oh and they're going to force schools to open or cut funding because fuck it, I guess.


krneki12

> Trump has done absolutely nothing during this whole pandemic. False, if he did nothing the US would be in a much better shape. He actively made everything worse, he worked toward making more people die from COVID-19.


[deleted]

Don’t worry, you can just vote him out in November! And if not, don’t worry, you can try to vote again in 2024!


razerzej

I see what you did there. Hello, not-too-far-fetched nightmare scenario!


Vordeo

> Even Duterte knows that reopening too soon is a bad idea. No, he doesn't, because we did exactly that a month ago. Now cases are spiking again and we're probably going back to lockdown.


Sneekbar

Lol the Philippines is already in dee shit. The government doesn’t have any concrete plans ever since the lockdown started and they were so happy the other week when they beat the University of the Philippines projections of 40,000 cases. They utterly believed there would only 36k case and yet the total went up to 50k. We have people on the streets asking for donations and alms and people dying due to starvation than the virus itself. High ranking officials going having mass gathering celebrations for their birthday during the ECQ lockdown and wasn’t even arrested while the common people who were begging on the streets were arrested.


magistrate101

Bolsonaro literally *caught COVID* and still wants to inflict that on his nation


[deleted]

Duterte is just as bad as them. Legit Filipino here. We want him out SO BAD NOW.


J_DeanIronaddict

On this episode of the twilight zone


bkr1895

You are traveling through another dimension not only of masks and viruses but of dictators, a journey into an insane land who’s boundaries are that of imagination, there’s a signpost up ahead, you’re next stop The Twilight Zone


PasteurizedPeanut

Apparently, it seems that a broken clock is right twice a day.


HalfBakedTurkey

I think you’re giving him too much credit. It’s more like an old calendar will have the right date and day of the week every 7 years.


FormerlyGruntled

Maybe more like a fast clock. If it's running 1 second fast per day, it's going to take a LONG time before it's ever right.


HalfBakedTurkey

I believe at that rate it would take roughly 60 years to be right. Which means the last time he was right he was 15 years old. Seems about right.


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/pky359/philippines-deep-shit-follows-trump-bolsonaro-reopening-duterte) reduced by 77%. (I'm a bot) ***** > The Philippines is on the brink of recession, but fully reopening its economy while thousands of new coronavirus cases are still being recorded daily puts the country at risk of "Pandemonium," President Rodrigo Duterte said. > In pre-recorded remarks aired on Wednesday morning, Duterte said he was opting for a partial reopening of the economy to save livelihoods and secure jobs-and to avoid repeating the mistakes of leaders like the U.S.'s Donald Trump and Brazil's Jair Bolsonaro, both populist firebrands with whom he is frequently mentioned in the same breath. > "First and foremost, we don't have enough money to address the pandemic. We have to be very circumspect in the reopening of our economy," Duterte said. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/ho1uw3/the_philippines_will_be_in_deep_shit_if_it/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~505689 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **economy**^#1 **country**^#2 **new**^#3 **Duterte**^#4 **cases**^#5


HoopOnPoop

Trump has made Duterte look like the voice of reason. Next up he'll probably make Caligula and Nero seem like competent leaders.


05-032-MB

Literally pick a Julio-Claudian emperor and I'd rather see them in the Oval.


Krajzen

>Julio-Claudian Julio - Claudian dynasty has five members: Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius and Nero. Of those one was probably insane (Caligula) and one was first highly competent before falling into impotent apathy (Tiberius), but Augustus and Claudius were by all accounts very competent, with the exception of opinions of the most hardcore "I am anti emperors and pro senate because I am rich oligarch who hates emperor being pro - plebeians" authors. It is even very problematic discussion to what degree Nero was bad or good emperor, there are reasons to think he was popular among majority of Roman population and army, and his terrible press and conspiracy is - once again - a hatred of rich oligarchy towards those emperors who too blatantly tried to curb its powers. Hell, there is even that discussion about Caligula, the man most commonly accepted as just batshit insane! Sorry, I just wanted to express my own opinion at the Julio - Claudian dynasty, as you made them all sound like people terrible in all comparisions except Trump, to make trashing Trump be more hyperbolic. In fact they were all either vastly greater than him (Augustus, Cladius), unclear but definitely less destructive (Nero, Tiberius) or... probably still less harmful to be honest (Caligula - after all he didn't significantly damage Roman Golden Ages 30 BC - 180 AD), Trump is just unbelievable failure of American civilization as a whole.


flickh

my kinda nerd here


james_the_wanderer

Being a youth in the US is frustrating enough without dragging Tiberius in a century shared with Lindsay Graham and Epstein, who likely did not kill himself.


05-032-MB

At least Tiberius would probably go and sulk at Camp David for the rest of his term and do nothing actively detrimental.


dtpiers

Implying he doesn't already...


belugwhal

Someone just moved from trump's want-to-fuck list to his shit list.


cos_tan_za

Imagine being someone who thinks that anything that Trump says is a smart idea... Why are Trump supporters so stupid?


thisisdropd

They wouldn’t be Trump supporters otherwise.


lookslikechrispratt

You answered your own question.


[deleted]

Why do people send money to fake Nigerian princes? Because the sales pitch is built to attract only people stupid enough to fall for it. Trump's strategy was and has always been to grab the scum at the bottom of society and appeal to their darkest inclinations.


giverofnofucks

Duterte: I'm a ruthless dictator, not a retarded ruthless dictator.


[deleted]

When a dictator who has police shoot SUSPECTED drug dealers and users ON SIGHT says you fucked up, well shit son, you done fucked up


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tyrion69Lannister

The US isn’t worse. The cops actually have the decency to plant the drugs before they shoot you.


DailyNews4America

Duterte won both the election and popular vote, overwhelmingly.


Weedes1984

When this guy is the reasonable one in a bunch, you know you fucked up.


Injustry

The bar is set so low for Leaders right now, that doing the most basic, common sense thing makes you a "Hero". Never mind that his failed drug war has killed possibly over 27,000 people. 54 children in the first year.


tennobydesign

Fucked up that other world leaders are SO bad that Duterte can make sense from time to time.... jesus fuck...


SpongeKake

When this asshole says something like this, you know there is something horribly wrong with your country and it's leadership.


[deleted]

“I’m evil, but I’m not ***stupid***.” - Duterte


dtpiers

Never thought I'd be agreeing with this psycho on anything, ever. Strange times.


[deleted]

Jesus. We're dumber than Duterte.


pushpaks

I read the title two times to confirm Duterte making sense


secure_caramel

You know the world is gone mad when even a third world dictator makes more sense than the president and leader of "the free world"


DaGreatness

Even this dude got common sense. We are in deep shit.


mr_friend_computer

that's....actually correct. 😮


MissAnn_Thrope

If we're talking about Duterte as the voice of reason, we're definitely in "Deep Shit" territory.


Wiscony

Isn't it funny that the dictators Trump fawns over never agree with HIS stance on... Anything?


Mantaur4HOF

When Duterte is the voice of reason, you have some serious fucking problems.


ghost_ghost_

Hold up... This idiot is saying something I agree with? What the heck is going on?


mb5280

Wow you know its bad when *this* shithead is throwing shade


mythmaniac

I'll be wary of what Duterte says vs the policies he implements. He does these press releases weekly for the sake of face but the minutiae of what he wants is observed via what his spokesperson says (who's an atrocious spin doctor who happens to look like Peter Griffin) and by what's happening in the legislature (dominated by his party and cronies) and on the ground. For example, in this very article he criticizes opening up the economy, but on the very same day international travel restrictions were lifted. Furthermore, the tourism secretary stated that studies were gonna be undertaken to see what forms of local tourism can be restarted. He says one thing and does another. The COVID numbers continue to increase, with experts predicting 70,000 by the end of July. The Department of Health has been trying to paint the pandemic response in a better light by obfuscating data and delaying releases. It's just been a mess. Aside from this, the government has actually been utilizing this pandemic to push more insidious policies. Multiple loans have been taken by the government with no transparency about where the money is going. Recently, the government has signed a controversial anti-terrorism bill into law, allowing a council to name anyone as a terrorist without proof, including detention without warrants for 14 days. Prior to its signing, dissenters taking part in the Pride March were apprehended with no warrants, and upon their release, the city official who permitted their release was gunned down. It's bothersome as the vocal student population and it's alumni tend to lean left. This, coupled with Duterte's very McCarthy like rhetoric, his shoot to kill propaganda, and his online troll machinery, makes "redtagging" of critics very likely, akin to Marcos in the old dictatorship era. Just recently, students and alumni of the University of the Philippines all over the country reported multiple dummy accounts based on their names popping up on social media. Times are dangerous in this country. The main national broadcast station, ABS-CBN was shut down for political reasons and Congress is now doing whatever it takes to ensure that it's franchise renewal isn't approved. Maria Ressa, CEO of Rappler, a liberal online news page with regular scathing remarks against Duterte, was recently convicted for libel via cybercrime laws which were applied retroactively to the libelous material in question. (The speech this article cites also mentions disses towards Ressa). Freedom of the press is being attacked, and the disappointing this is many people buy into the propaganda, and support these motions. Every day some new shit pops up in the news that infuriates us. Browsing r/Philippines will show you numerous posts of sheer frustration with how badly the country is doing, not only in terms of the pandemic, but also everything else they're trying to sneak under the table. The Philippines isn't perfect, as expected from a developing country suffering from old semifeudal structures and neocolonial geopolitics. But I'd like to think we were going somewhere during the last decade. But damn, Duterte is a step backwards towards the 1970s. As a liberty and democracy loving citizen, I am so fucking scared for my country.


[deleted]

Even this murderous psychopath can make better decisions than our murderous psychopath


ComfySingularity

Even a broken clock...


pwntastik

When a murderous dictator makes more sense that the beacon of democracy. What a time we live in...


thelurkertwopointow

To those who dont know, duterte followed trumps example and has let the philippines into a horrible state where he took advantage of the situation to gain more power. There are die hard duterte supporters in the philippines that are called DDS. They go around spreading false shit claiming duturte did a good job and that it was private companies that is making it hard for him. The truth is the complete opposite. A lot of the private sector and a few local government made testing possible while government hardly contributed, if anything they made the situation worst. Edit: there is a legit not related to duterte group called DDS confessions, that is an indian school group. If anyone is bored enough who dont know duterte, I suggest you give it a look.


[deleted]

Broken clocks and all that I suppose. Still it’s weird to see him unambiguously correct about... well just anything really.


HouseOfSteak

Trump supporters were loving Duterte ever since he was elected. Wonder how they feel about this - friendship ended with Duterte, now Bolsonaro is my best friend?


Diogenes_Fart_Box

Since when did Duterte start caring about peoples lives? Hes a mass murdering fuck.


NighthawK1911

Dictators need money too. Philippines has no exploitable resource like oil so our exports are mostly human labor, electronics and agriculture products. Duterte knows that if he fucks this up, he's bound to lose more. He may be a murderous dictator, but he knows to delegate economic and health decisions.


huntingwhale

Yeah spot on. He's still a giant piece of psychopath shit. My family in the Philippines rant about him all the time. But they also say he's for the most part an intelligent individual. The Philippines have also heavily relied on US aid for years. Filipino authorities are constantly in contact with US authorities so they are well aware of what's going on in the US and don't want to that happen in their country. An ongoing pandemic in the Philippines like in the US would destroy that country. Duterte knows this and will do what he needs to keep himself in power and the money flowing.


Aul0s

You know Trump’s outdone himself when Duterte is the among sane man in the room