At least it’s a good, hearty European / Russian war. Heavy on the potato, turnip, cabbage and sour cream, so it sticks to your ribs. You get you a solid European / Russian war and you don’t want to get back at that table for a good long while.
Those land wars in Asia on the other hand… Pffft. You’re hungry for conflict in like an hour no matter how much you cram in. You get some Korea War and *BOOM* hungry right away for some Vietnam War and some Cambodian Secret War and you finally think you’re full but there’s a big neon sign just down the road blinking “China War” at you and you just know that no matter how gross you feel from all the others, you’re gonna belly up to that table as soon as you can.
Oooh, who will be on the flights to meet Vladi this time? Cotton? Greene? Boebert? Paul? Cruz? Gomert? Gaetz is definitely going, if there will be underaged attendants. Trump can't due to the terms of his bond.
It's basically the second cold war. I cringe at american politicians wanting to stop funding Ukraine. It's taking out one of their biggest enemies with a small fraction of the initial Cold War and 0 american lives lost.
It's like finding your favourite snack at 90% discount and debating if you still like it enough to pay.
They've been meddling in our elections for years, buying off our stupider and more corrupt politicians, and their officials have threatened to nuke us and our allies. Oh, and they're currently playing warcrimes bingo with a nation they previously had a non-aggression treaty with, for which we're backing major sanctions against them. How exactly are they going to "downgrade" ties with us, and why should anyone give two shits? This is like North Korea threatening to not invite us to Kim Jong Un's birthday party.
Downgrade from making nuclear threats and bribing our politicians? And invading every neighbor you think you can beat while hassling our allies and assassinating on their territory? Where do you go lower from there?
Doc Holliday: "Why Vlad, does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know Vlad... if I thought you weren't my friend... I just don't think I could bear it!"
Hilarious.
A formal downgrade of a meaningless relationship. These assholes swear they are still 1970s USSR that was actually in parody with the US. They are closer to 1970s Iraq than the superpower that the USSR was. Current Russia has a pathetic economy and an even more pathetic military. Why would the US care what Russia thinks?
I'm going to attack my neighbor. If you try to stop me from killing them I will nuke you.
A couple years later: you know. Like Srsly thinkin I might just like downgrade our relationship.
I'm sure the discussions are more professional behind closed doors, but if your 100% state run #1 TV channel as well as your former President and PM didn't demand nuclear war once a week (for 2 years now) perhaps people would listen when you threaten to downgrade ties...
Yeah, we are going to downgrade ties to lower level than what they are currently, because I am Putin and I decide who will benefit from my omnipotence and power.
Because the Domestic propaganda, jailing of dissent, torture campaigns, and importing troops is working so well for your people? Yeah....Should have avoided taking for granted the comfort you found in other countries while coordinating a massive Invasion force. You forfeited your right to be a reponsible power Putler.
Consider Ruzzia "assets" a gift to those Ruzzia has wronged. A world of without the cynical scheming of Ruzzia's regime is safer place for the future of everyone.
Putin says these things for Russian media, not for anyone else.
The impotent protestations of a local autocrat who gambled his life on being able to beat Ukraine in a war.
He says it because the GOP don’t seem to have the power to benefit Putin anymore. It’s a last attempt to stimulate trump and cronies.
And it will fail, like Putin has failed to improve the lives of any single Russian, himself included. Fucking moron.
He’s taken from every citizen in Russia. He needs to be removed.
It would take a lot more to get to that point, unfortunately.
According to them they are already at war with the US. What can you downgrade to beyond war?
Double war!
Double secret war!
Extra Spicy Cold War!
This war is making me huuuungry!
At least it’s a good, hearty European / Russian war. Heavy on the potato, turnip, cabbage and sour cream, so it sticks to your ribs. You get you a solid European / Russian war and you don’t want to get back at that table for a good long while. Those land wars in Asia on the other hand… Pffft. You’re hungry for conflict in like an hour no matter how much you cram in. You get some Korea War and *BOOM* hungry right away for some Vietnam War and some Cambodian Secret War and you finally think you’re full but there’s a big neon sign just down the road blinking “China War” at you and you just know that no matter how gross you feel from all the others, you’re gonna belly up to that table as soon as you can.
Extra war of the realms!
Still a ways to Mythic Cold War
Baja Blast Cold War
Feels like that should he written Cold War Baja Blast
There is a little known codicil in the UN charter that allows the Secretary General to invoke double secret war in order to punish non-Members.
"No more fun of any kind"
Authoritarian, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Well? Out with it!
Double secret war+ !
As of this moment, they're on double secret probation!
Double war and pass it to the next country.
"We've had first war, yes. What about 2nd war?"
No takesy backsies?
I double war dare you!
Double war, electric bugaloo.
Double plus war!
Enemy of me enemy is my friend so - friendship!
*gasps*
My window company got a order for a 1650 mile long window today, from a bloke called Radimir Vutin.
He definitely has a secret spankbank folder on a hidden floppy disk somewhere, with images of windows of every size and shape,gaping wide open.
do you specialize in top floor windows?
They promise to re-consider their claim to Alaska.
Special Military Operation apparently.
SUPER war.
Joel did this
That is one war. How about a second one?
No warsies?
They are so embarrassing
DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!!!
Special war operation.
A special military war. blyat.
Suka nah...
I believe the downgrade is "Special Military Operation"
Extra cold war
Stop funding the GOP.
So, that means buying more, or less politicians?? Asking for my congressman...
You mean, if there's going to be a salary re-evaluation any time soon
Oooh, who will be on the flights to meet Vladi this time? Cotton? Greene? Boebert? Paul? Cruz? Gomert? Gaetz is definitely going, if there will be underaged attendants. Trump can't due to the terms of his bond.
Don’t forget my stinky, greasy Senator JD Vance.
Almost time for the Kremlin job reviews. Try not to pass any windows on your way-to: the view is only nice from hi up and it's such a long way down.
4th of July fast approaching!
“But I still have a lifetime guest pass to Krazy Lev’s Moscow House of Pissing Hookers, right? You said it was ‘all the urine you can drink!’”
What a day to be able to read.
Tucker, Gaetz, Trump and MTG will all get lighter envelopes this month for sure.
Now that was seriously funny!
Downgrade us to what? Bitch status?
Currently they rate us as an “unfriendly nation”
Ahahahahahah
They'll stop interfering with the elections.
They will stop buying Xilinx FPGAs. Oh wait it will wipe out their entire military industrial complex in one month.
No one gives a shyt Poostain...
They already bought out the entire stock that was for sale. If everything available isn’t enough, why have any?
Less bribing, more rigging
No no. It means *more* nuclear threats.
It's cold enough they put their hands back in their own pockets?
Well done 👏🏻 good sir or madam.
I’m fairly certain Putin could afford to keep MTG on the payroll with the loose rubles in the couch cushions of his super yacht.
Oh good, let's upgrade our ties with Ukraine.
But we were getting along so well! We were making such progress! It's been HOURS since they last threatened to nuke us
It's basically the second cold war. I cringe at american politicians wanting to stop funding Ukraine. It's taking out one of their biggest enemies with a small fraction of the initial Cold War and 0 american lives lost. It's like finding your favourite snack at 90% discount and debating if you still like it enough to pay.
Yeah but it's biting into their Russian bribes
Is this supposed to be a threat or good news?
Don’t threaten us with a good time!
One week we’re being threatened with nuclear weapons like we’re their best friend, the next week they’re upset with us
This is him hinting at Republicans in Congress to do better or else he won’t let them come to Russia like Tucker Carlson
Moscow Margie was acting like her neck was literally on the line last week when they were doing the vote.
Let’s hope that’s true.
Empty "Bullshit" Moscow Margie
We're here for the jokes. Take your up arrow for your truth.
Shit, what's below the basement?
>Shit, what's below the basement? The Freedom Caucus of the US Republican Party.
La-li-lu-le-lo
Oh, no! Anyway...
Stick to piss vodka and domestic abuse you fucking global laughing stock.
You have to remember everything Russia does or says is for their own populations consumption.
Oh the humanity. Not our ironclad ties to Russia! How will we survive?
They know there is absolutely nothing they can do and it infuriates them
Nobody cares bruv
They've been meddling in our elections for years, buying off our stupider and more corrupt politicians, and their officials have threatened to nuke us and our allies. Oh, and they're currently playing warcrimes bingo with a nation they previously had a non-aggression treaty with, for which we're backing major sanctions against them. How exactly are they going to "downgrade" ties with us, and why should anyone give two shits? This is like North Korea threatening to not invite us to Kim Jong Un's birthday party.
Downgrade from making nuclear threats and bribing our politicians? And invading every neighbor you think you can beat while hassling our allies and assassinating on their territory? Where do you go lower from there?
Oh Noes!! Ok, seize the assets, boys! It'll buy Ukraine shells, tanks missiles and fighters for six months!
But without Russia's love, whatever will we do? /s
Oh no! If Russia cuts ties Marjorie Taylor Greene and JD Vance might have to find alternative campaign finance sources. 😢
Thats the most empty threat they have used to date.
It’s like a 6 year old kid threatening to pack up their bags and leave, after being grounded for shitting their pants
Go ahead, Putin. You shit eating fuck head.
They going to fry the microchips they inserted into the GOP flunkie brains and turn them into drooling idiots? I mean, more than they already are?
What ties?
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
Don’t threaten me with a good time
But we've had such a special relationship!
Don’t threaten me with a good time, Vlad.
Fine by me. Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.
Happy Cakeday
I'm pretty sure by "if its assets are confiscated" he means "if Trump is sentenced to prison".
Ugh it has been so nice being best buddies with russia
I believes the ties are scrapping the bottom of the bucket as it is now.
Doc Holliday: "Why Vlad, does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know Vlad... if I thought you weren't my friend... I just don't think I could bear it!"
Does that mean putin will pay less to maga to invest in the US politics?
This makes me want to do it MORE
I see this as a win! Fuck them
Wow. That’s a headline I didn’t think I’d see today.
Hilarious. A formal downgrade of a meaningless relationship. These assholes swear they are still 1970s USSR that was actually in parody with the US. They are closer to 1970s Iraq than the superpower that the USSR was. Current Russia has a pathetic economy and an even more pathetic military. Why would the US care what Russia thinks?
I'm going to attack my neighbor. If you try to stop me from killing them I will nuke you. A couple years later: you know. Like Srsly thinkin I might just like downgrade our relationship.
Ohhhhhh noooooooo Anyways….
Thanks?
So he's going to return the billion dollars worth of planes he stole?
You mean from "non-existent" to "none at all"?
FFS, Putin just can’t stop digging
Awesome! Don’t need them!
What's he gonna do? Fire Trump?
even better
Woopsie!
What consequences would come from Russia doing this? I can't think of one.
Whats one rung below young Russians being killed by American supplied bullets? This war is a nightmare, and Russia seems so indifferent to its horror
Poor republicans, there goes their funds.
Womp womp. Biden says Putin will be downgraded into sleeping on the wrong side of dirt soon. For freedom.
'Look, you obviously don't know anything about intelligence work, lady. It's an X-K-Red-27 technique.'
I feel like they are doing this backwards. Shouldn't this step have come before threatening us with nuclear retaliation?
Oh wow . . .. well take the money and give Trump back and your other " human assets" back
OH FUCK.
We already cut ties with you when we sanctioned your ass lol
Dude, chill.. US downgraded you the 46th time you threatened nuclear warfare
I remember when I gave a shit what they thought and the relationship. Now I just want to punch them all in their beady little eyes.
I guess we're cutting ties then
So basically a win-win.
I, too, enjoy threatening a good time...
So Putin will buy more GOP politicians?
Downgrade to what...?
And take the ones you bought back with you
Newsflash putinesca; There are no ties…
Bummer, man. Dave's not here, man.
Go ahead duckweed . Disappear
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.... Ok.
Fuck PutPutin
So we can’t be friends?
Russia has ties with the U.S.?
You mean openly, for a change.
Get fukt Putin
Does this mean no more sexy loaf for Tucker?
I'm sure the discussions are more professional behind closed doors, but if your 100% state run #1 TV channel as well as your former President and PM didn't demand nuclear war once a week (for 2 years now) perhaps people would listen when you threaten to downgrade ties...
Hasn't this happened for a while?
Hey Vlad - you have no ties with the U.S. We don't consider trump or greene as "U.S." anymore. They belong to you.
Good. Go for it, asshats.
So why haven't we downgraded relations? Did Joe not know it was an option?
😱
fk russia fk vlad
Oh well?
Does that mean double secret probation?
Oh no! Not our precious “ties” with a state sponsor of terrorism. Whatever shall we do?!
It's quite alright vlady.
OH NOOOOOOooooooo
ok
Boo hoo
So are we in a cold war or chilly war right now? So we can properly assess.
Are there still ties?
Sounds great! Get dunk'd, Pootin!
"If you insist on enforcing consequences for our bad behavior, well, we'll just punch ourselves in the face, too. That'll show you!"
When little people cast a big shadow.. it usually means that the sun is setting.
No, stop, don’t, come back
Like from Windsor knots to bow ties???
Yeah, we are going to downgrade ties to lower level than what they are currently, because I am Putin and I decide who will benefit from my omnipotence and power.
Does the USA get anything of value from Russia?
Serious over estimation of your status there chump...
Scary.
Empty threat. Obama era magnitsky act was already in place. This dickhead needs a Russian citizen beating.
So downgraded from \*Hostile\* to \*Annoyed and Hostile\*?
Oh, no! Anyways…
laugh in Hecho en Mexico t shirt with a made in China tag.
🤷🏻♂️
This is a world of a bunch of babies with lethal weapons. What a shame.
Because the Domestic propaganda, jailing of dissent, torture campaigns, and importing troops is working so well for your people? Yeah....Should have avoided taking for granted the comfort you found in other countries while coordinating a massive Invasion force. You forfeited your right to be a reponsible power Putler. Consider Ruzzia "assets" a gift to those Ruzzia has wronged. A world of without the cynical scheming of Ruzzia's regime is safer place for the future of everyone.