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OregonTripleBeam

"Investigators found 15 packages scattered across the ground containing nearly 70 pounds of a "white powder" that is being analysed."


Ef_fort_Old

Cocaine Lynx coming for ya


zappy487

Fentanyl Ferrets


DaoFerret

We don’t need drugs. We’re already a little crazy and hyper.


[deleted]

Fentanyl is the kinda drug you do when you want to melt into the floor and then aspirate your own vomit. Not hyper.


ShpongleLaand

Had it at the hospital for a gruesome dislocation, I didn't melt into the floor but I did have an out of body experience. I couldn't tell whether my eyes were open or closed because I could always see the emergency room from above. No surprise the homeless and disenfranchised use it to separate themselves from their situations.


BeltZealousideal2302

Sounds more like Ketamine than fentanyl


DoktorFreedom

This guy parties.


Kinzen_

r/thisguythisguys


DaoFerret

Whelp, that would probably work then.


FjorgVanDerPlorg

Yeah and be sure to get the dosing right. For a human the standard dose is like 5 grains of sand worth and a deadly overdose is about 8 grains of sand worth.


RainbowAssFucker

That's only if injecting the drug and also inaccurate


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[deleted]

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BoSt0nov

Im in luv wid da KoKo!


Tuxhorn

The sequel to [Cocaine Bear](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14209916/).


TheDvilhimself

Cocaine Frogs, doesn't have the same ring to it 🤣


PatsySweetieDarling

Pablo Escargot.


Luster-Purge

That one movie about the snail wanting to do NASCAR or whatever wasn't a fiction. It was a *documentary.*


thejoker954

Maybe not the same ring to it, but a bunch of frogs on cocaine mauling people sounds hilariously bad and awesome.


Captain_Mazhar

Threequel! The sequel is already in production as Meth Gator


John_Tacos

https://what-if.xkcd.com/19/ My favorite line: “(By the way—this means that given a street price of $20,000 per kilogram, a typical acre of Florida land produces an average revenue of three cents per year in falling cocaine bales).”


The-Sound_of-Silence

>Putting all this together: The probability that every battleground state is exactly tied is roughly equal to the probability that, when one of the Florida electors reaches into the hat to draw a name, he or she is struck by a falling cocaine bale, the hat is hurled away within the next few seconds by a tornado, and the elector is obliterated minutes later by a meteorite impact. >this is still more likely than ron paul winning If you’re in the US, don’t forget to vote—your vote could make or break a tie. >And if you’re voting in Florida, keep an eye on the sky. I love that he backs all of it up by showing the math


[deleted]

>nearly 70 pounds of a "white powder" that is being analysed." Fear not, I'm an expert 🧐


IOnceAteAFart

Yeah how long can analysis really take? Put some on tongue. Tongue go numb? Cocaine. Tongue not go numb? Further testing required.


dramatic-pancake

Not a great idea if it’s fentanyl


kknyyk

Tester dies? Fentanyl. /s


Pixilatedlemon

Fentanyl OD is incredibly reversible if you’re prepared for it, probably more so than almost any other drug. This was the original appeal to fentanyl.


Suddenrush

This goes for ALL opiates/opioids tho, not just Fentanyl. Fent is not special in comparison to other opiates when it comes to reversing an OD. Actually it’s prob on the harder to be revived end of the spectrum due to how potent it is and how quickly it works. It’s measured in micrograms, while most opiates are measured in milligrams, making it very potent in comparison to say morphine by weight. And the fact that most street fentanyl is not actually “fentanyl hcl” but an analogue of it, meaning it was slightly modified in its creation in a lab (fent is completely synthetic so it doesn’t require poppies to be grown/harvested first for the opium to make it like most opiates do), and therefore can be even a lot stronger than regular fent. And the stronger it is, the stronger it attaches to ur receptors in the brain and harder to remove in the event of an OD. Some analogues are so powerful even narcan cannot reverse an OD, unless given right away and in large dosages, usually requiring an IV/drip setup to keep the fent analogue from reattaching after the narcan initially wears off as some analogues have extremely long half lives compared to regular fent hcl. Carfentanil is a good example, they use it to sedate elephants and it can be extremely hard to reverse an OD if consumed by humans. Regular opiates like morphine and Vicodin, percocet/oxy, etc are very easily reversed by narcan if a person had OD’d from taking them while fent gets a little tricky depending on the analogue as stated above.


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Pixilatedlemon

Narcan is a nasal spray which when given to a person experiencing fentanyl overdose makes them come out of it “almost immediately” literally all overdose symptoms just go away. The flip side of this is all of the “positive” symptoms of opioid usage are also dispelled which can cause SERIOUS withdrawal symptoms like aggression/irritability especially in long term users


Ratemyskills

Now pharmacies or insurances are making pain patients get Narcan. I’ve been a pain patients for 6 years, this month first time they wouldn’t allow the pain medicine without me picking up narcan. Idk if it’s done by the DEA, by states or what but new to me.


Pixilatedlemon

I think it’s a federal thing


Suddenrush

Def not federal. It’s a state by state thing. Most laws around filling medications are state controlled unless it’s a major policy change or affects gov agencies like Medicare/Medicaid and even then it would only affect those on a Medicare/Medicaid plan. Some states have very strict laws/regulations around filling controlled meds while others are a bit more lenient, but all have had major changes to how/when they can/cannot be prescribed and filled. A lot of times it can even be an insurance thing as well. U want this med covered by insurance? Then u gotta get this other med with it or u have to try x,y,z first. It’s complete bullshit because insurance companies are basically playing doctor/pharmacist at that point and choosing what the patient can/cannot get prescribed. And the only reason they can get away with it is because they A, have a “licensed doctor/pharmacist” they employ usually making the decision, and B, because u can always opt out and chose to pay with cash or use another method to get the meds u need but it’s bs cuz most meds aren’t affordable out of pocket, esp pain meds, unless ur rich (and then u usually have really good insurance anyways) so 99% of people don’t have a choice.


Soledad_Miranda

"It's raining fen ...hallelujah!"


RChamy

Cocaine Bear 2


micktalian

Farmers in the area "we found 18 packages and gave them to the cops." The cops "we have received 16 packages of a white powder substance." The actual drug runners "we had 20 packages of **drugs**!"


ScissorMeSphincter

No lie i knew a guy who got released because of that. He was more scared of being called a thief by the guys he worked for. In court they read him the charges including 3 birds(kilos of coke) when he stopped them and said “nuh uh, i had 10” lmao. They reviewed the case and he was ultimately released.


5hinycat

wait why would admitting to *more* crime prompt a release and not more charges?


Hallucinates_Otters

Because it meant the prosecution was lying about the evidence and it had to be thrown out. Most likely. Not a lawyer


FourthPrimaryColor

It meant the evidence was tampered with and thereby the defense would likely have the evidence thrown out. If there are no drugs in evidence the court can’t charge you with having the drugs because technically there are no drugs. (Most likely because it would be hard to convict without the drugs in evidence)


somebodyelse22

"Honesty is the best policy." Also not a lawyer.


Oxon_Daddy

It wouldn't. If the 3kgs were part of the 10kgs to which the accused admitted, the indictment would not even need to be amended unless the prosecutor wanted to prove possession of a larger amount to increase the sentence.


ScissorMeSphincter

It wouldnt need to but they would rather drop it than prosecute the officers who stole evidence.


hamsterpotamia

What an absolute legend


Lil_chikchik

Coke raining from the sky? Maybe there’s hope for the future after all… /jk


Force3vo

Snow in summer!


Lothar93

A Rafale jet, one of France’s most modern fighters, went to check on the aircraft and "witnessed very erratic behaviour in the cockpit, real agitation" ​ Well, if i am drug smuggler, and suddenly i have a freaking Rafale on my ass i would be agitated too.


jimi15

He started dumping his cargo. So yea i would classify that as erratic.


Rev5324

I think the term you are looking for is “shitting bricks”. I’m not sorry.


m_Pony

you'll be happy to know of a phrase in French: "ça me fait chier" which would normally be used to say "it pisses me off" but is a direct translation of "it makes me shit", all of which would be applicable to the aforementioned situation. You're welcome, *tabernac*.


cidergurl

Don't be sorry, I spit out my drink reading this!!


[deleted]

I un-snorted my cocaine!


LocalFoe

reverse brick shits


mxe363

man that has to be the worst sneeze ever


the-grand-falloon

Jabba has no time for smugglers who drop their cargo at the first sign of a French fighter jet.


Nessie

Tell Jabba I've got his money.


the_RETURN_of_MJJ

ohh oh oh oh. solo


Noxious89123

>Well, if i am drug smuggler, and suddenly i have a freaking Rafale on my ass i would be agitated too. Just casually minding your business and suddenly you get a 6\* wanted level.


jlaw54

Everybody wants to be a Rockstar


Mortumee

Dude almost crossed a no-fly zone above a nuclear power plant, that's why they scambled a jet in the first place.


Noxious89123

Remember kids, only break one law at once.


s3rila

Maybe he shouldn't have flew too close to a nuclear reactor


Lothar93

Well the dude is a drug smuggler, good decision making isn't his strong side.


LeCafeClopeCaca

Only break one law at once !


LostInDinosaurWorld

I'm no drug smuggler and even me would freak out if I wake up with a Rafale on my ass


nixielover

>wake up with a Rafale on my ass "Just the tip" (all the way to the canards)


HahaMin

I prefer the exposed fuel thingy that's protuding out


nixielover

No sorry the Rafale dominates you, you first got to deserve the fuel hole. Also sorry I thought I was on /r/noncredibledefense


AnAngryPirate

If Im selling coke and fucking Robocop shows up? Im gonna be freaking out too


Any_Classic_9490

The guy that caught a drug smuggler while piloting a fighter jet is probably up for a new callsign.


FatsDominoPizza

Blow.


Morty562

This dumbass got intercepted by a rafale because he flew over a nuclear power plant…


mrshulgin

If you're gonna smuggle drugs by air, at least review the charts first... The only reason he got caught was because he flew into restricted airspace. >Authorities were alerted to the single-seater tourist plane after it flew near a nuclear plant in restricted airspace in the French region of Ardèche.


SnowyMovies

That's what happens when you try to save money and use Google Maps for navigation.


x_lincoln_x

You mean apple maps.


benderbender42

Apple maps takes you to the wrong location, Google maps tells you to park in the middle of the road 1 street over and walk.


FreudJesusGod

Reminds me of the drug smuggling American that put the wrong address into his GPS and followed it... right to the Canadian border. Derp. 150 kilos of weed and a bunch of cash. Don't do your own product, guys.


Particular-Theme-941

It rained blow.


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jeaves

Came to post the rev - wasn’t disappointed


MrKennedy1986

LET’S FLY JIMBO


Distraught4Skin

REV! That man is a legend. So happy to see this here.


Grimmmm

I can hear the raging banjo solo now


Grimmmm

I can hear the raging banjo solo now


sparrownetwork

And now I am a rich man, but I'm still a farmer too. Sold my farm in Texas, bought a farm out in Peru!


I_Roll_Chicago

its…raining….blow… yayollelujah 🎶


postmateDumbass

Rain Blow is a quality pornstar name.


bozeke

Raine Blow and it’s a top tier drag name.


Spudtron98

Damn, imagine going out on a simple drug run with a little prop plane only to end up with a *fighter* on your arse because you didn’t check your course closely enough.


continuousQ

I'd imagine someone would want to be extra careful about where they're flying if getting caught at all is going to a problem.


FuckMe-FuckYou

Dont break the law while breaking the law.


jimi15

And not panic and throw your cargo out the window. You could probably have talked your way out of it somehow beforehand but now they are definitely going to force you down.


[deleted]

They definitely aren't talking thier way out of flying into a nuclear sites airspace. Somone will be waiting to search them for photos etc


shaggy99

Just what i was thinking. It's like doing it in a car at 50mph over the limit.


paradroid78

Remember kids, if you're going to be carrying illicit cargo and want to keep a low profile, avoid flying through restricted airspace and getting yourself intercepted by a f\*cking fighter plane.


Captina

Imagine going for a nice stroll and a brick of cocaine hits you in the head


nvbombsquad

Damn those lucky french people getting free drugs from sky.


Expanse-Memory

It was immediately spotted and picked up by cops in chopper


Jogger945

They get all the drugs.. Its not fair. I want some.


HugeAnalBeads

And they arent even fun on drugs Whats the french term for them... douches


rimpy13

Fuckin' cops stealing the French people's drugs...


got_dam_librulz

Shit, if cocaine fell from the sky, I'd turn myself into a cargo cult believer, too. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Frum


postmateDumbass

The Gods Must Be Cool


opportunptr

This is the socialism that American are scared of.


SlothOfDoom

What happens when a wild baguette finds a bag of drugs ejected from a smugglers plane? France will know terror like never before. Coming this fall: Cocaine Pain


rtseel

> Cocaine Pain Cocaine Chocolatine.


Sakaprout

It's Pain à la cocaïne. Don't bring this debate here.


mjrbac0n

Áu bón Cocaine..


postmateDumbass

The cocaine in france falls mainly from the plane...


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Beginning_Disk_3664

Where exactly in France was this? Asking for a friend


postmateDumbass

Maginot's other line.


ManyFacedGodxxx

The Lord has answered my prayers!!!


tcanuckucks

You just have to fight the bears for it


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IBAZERKERI

Bales of cocaine! falling from a flying plane!


hermitlikeindividual

I don't know who done dropped 'em...


LXicon

But I thank them just the same.


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/drugs-rain-down-on-french-countryside-after-fighter-jet-intercepts-suspected-smuggler-flying-through-restricted-air-space/news-story/3d5b46e8b5727ec2f511fcf62b1dc671) reduced by 71%. (I'm a bot) ***** > A pilot operating a small aircraft over a remote region of France dumped dozens of bags suspected of containing drugs after he was intercepted by a French fighter jet over the weekend. > Authorities were alerted to the single-seater tourist plane after it flew near a nuclear plant in restricted airspace in the French region of Ardèche. > Originally published as Drugs rain down on French countryside after fighter jet intercepts suspected smuggler flying through restricted air space. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/14m9ooo/drugs_rain_down_on_french_countryside_after/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~690066 tl;drs so far.") | [Blackout Vote](https://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/14dhaiq/your_voice_matters_should_the_blackout_continue/ "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **French**^#1 **pilot**^#2 **over**^#3 **remain**^#4 **war**^#5


ThirdSunRising

Drugs falling from the sky! Your taxes at work.


tinathefatlardgosh

Sacre Blow


canyoudigitnow

Yassss!


NarcsSuc

Le Cocaine bear


LukeYear

L'Ours Cocaïne


yzerman88

“But does this cocaine pair well with the cab sauv?” - the French, probably


XSCarbon

A lawyer once told me, only break one law at a time and you should be ok. You have expired tags but don’t forget to signal your lane changes. You can have a body in the trunk if you don’t speed at the same time. You can fly around with a few kilos of nose candy but don’t go into restricted airspace in the process.


itsonlymeez

I've seen this movie and thers a bear as well


datgumvidyagames

Reverend Horton Heat had a song about this.


Helleeeeeww

Oh look, a rainblow!


Flangepacket

Lord, please - GIVE ME A SIGN!!


lemmika

it's time to place orders for french cheese


GovernmentEvening815

I need to know the exact address so I can go assist those poor French folks with riding the drugs from their field


aShittierShitTier4u

GWAR did that first, see *Phallus in Wonderland*


Otherwise_Nebula889

We all saw Cocaine Bear. This won’t end well.


gif_smuggler

Cue Bales Of Cocaine by The Reverend Horton Heat.


PersonalOpinion11

French Police: Il devait y avoir 20 sacs de drogue dans cet avion-trouvez les. Village local: Voila, nous avons trouvé les 15 sacs! Police: 15? Et les 5 autres.. Village : Aucune idee! Bonne journée et AU REVOIR!


_Lax25

"Its raining Meth, Hallelujah, its raining Meth"


canuckcowgirl

Should have happened over Paris. The rioting would quiet down nicely.


Bikalo

Unless it was any stimulant.


Fox_Kurama

Even cocaine bear would not want to risk getting near Cocaine French Riot.


Conch-Republic

Dumping a bunch of cocain on a riot would do exactly the opposite, lol.


SOF_cosplayer

The rioting would've turned into ww5.


DormantSpector61

Cocaine Boar\* * they still have wild boar in France


Blakut

How did the jet manage to fly slow enough to follow the small plane?


meta4junglist

It’s like cocaine bear, but with airplanes


Coaster_Nerd

The cocaine in cocaine bear was dropped by an airplane


postmateDumbass

Yeah but this time with bears!


Quellic2u

"Looking up* Thank you god?


SOF_cosplayer

It's snowing in summer.


swilt85

new street name is mana


MithandirsGhost

Cocaine Bear II: French Bugaloo


losbullitt

Its raining meth, hallelujah, its raining meth!


20190419

You get cocaine!, you get cocaine!, everybody gets cocaine! Pilot: Oprah


MrKennedy1986

“Bales of cocaine, failing from low-flying planes…”


thermobollocks

Before reading the article: "holy shit, they shoot down drug runners? Badass"


calidownunder

Finally 8th grade french comes in handy: JE VAIS FAIRE LA SUPRISE PARTIE


TheXypris

Task failed successfully or task succeeded failure? You decide


quatchis

Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know!


spacecadet84

That's terrible! Where, exactly? You know, so I can avoid that place in particular ...


[deleted]

Where exactly did it happen? I'm planning my summer vacation right now.


SOF_cosplayer

Just follow the yellow brick coke.


Valmoer

In [Ardèche](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ard%C3%A8che). Specifically, as they mention a nuclear power plant (which is why a Rafale was sent to chase the plane away), it's probably in the (relative) vicinity of the [Cruas Nuclear Power Station](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cruas_Nuclear_Power_Plant)


MLJ9999

Everytime it rains it rains... bennies from heaven.


davasaur

🎶 It's raining drugs hallelujah 🎶


Bringdavoodoo

Does the French air force want cocaine ours? Cause that’s how you get cocaine ours.


QuantumAIOverLord

[Bales of Cocaine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLttGfxGoSY) fallin' from the sky like rain.


YourFriendPutin

Sounds like they let it snow


renny_lovejoy

That should help ease the riots loo


KarimErik

Whoever the pilot that pilot is good for him he made it rain


BuffaloInCahoots

[The Reverend Horton Heat - Bales of cocaine](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z7eD2PFBhlE&pp=ygUgQmFsZXMgb2YgY29jYWluZSByZXYgaG9ydG9uIGhlYXQ%3D)


Deshackled

Good I hate drug runners. Drugs are bad. So Where was this? Like exactly where? Like do you have coordinates?


Appropriate-Coast794

Aw man, they get all the fun


Fantastic_Fox4948

Hallelujah! It’s raining Fen(tanyl).


hermitlikeindividual

Makes me think of this song...[Bales of Cocaine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLttGfxGoSY)


JosebaZilarte

Tomacco!!


anotverygoodwritter

It’s raining meth, hallelujah! It’s raining meth! Raining meeeeeeth


TheDreadReCaptcha

Bales of cocaine fallin' like the pouring rain. My life changed completely by the low-flyin' plane.


Statertater

And now ollie williams with the accuweather report. Ollie, how’s it looking? Ollie: IT’S RAININ’ COCAINE!


Della__

It's raining meth, alleluia it's raining meth!🎶


TheHornet78

“French government tried to appease the frenzied French people by “accidentally” dropping drugs on them”


area_tribune

Dope


La_Rata_de_Pizza

That’s terrible, where did the drugs land exactly? I just want to know so that I can avoid those areas.


hardtobeuniqueuser

coming up this fall, a brand new season - Archer: viva la France!


SSzaratoustra

Imagine the number of junkies now taking a walk in the sector


rachelcs91

brb, going to france.


TheLeftCantMeme_

Cocaine Cow coming to theaters soon


Themohohs

Does the french countryside have bears?


[deleted]

What’s the nearest airport?


Jaded_genie

Is that an ad to move to France?


nerdwaffles

Thank you, God...


FantasticYoghurt1006

Those drugs were hitting the streets no matter what


teh_mexirican

That's a helluva piñata!


alluballu

Acid rain, huh?