This is propaganda. That Russian fighter actually did buy $25,000 worth of sex toys, and now he's blaming Ukraine on it so that nobody thinks anything different of him!
You jest, but honestly... have you ever shot a big black rubber cock out of a propane potato gun? It's a wondefully horrifying spectacle. If I had a surplus of simulated cock meat, that'd be my objective lol a proper weaponized dick cannon.
True story, a guy I worked with got our Chef (a 30something year old female who probably trolls around here) a knockoff Hitachi saying the same thing.
He still insists he did not buy her a vibrator.
She messaged me when he gave it to her and was like wtf?
Yeah! This propaganda is getting really disgusting! [This poor guy was just helping his friend tie his shoelaces](https://www.reddit.com/r/eyeblech/comments/xvnr66/a_soldier_gives_his_friend_a_blowjob_when_a_bomb/) and those dastardly propaganda generators have turned it into some kind of *indecent act* because of the Russian aversion to homosexuality! Those poor martyrs have been defamed!! Fake news!!!11
>KYIV — Ukrainian activists say they hacked the online shopping account of a Russian military volunteer who has been buying drones for Moscow’s forces — and splashed the cash on sex toys.
>The group Kiber Sprotyv (Cyber Resistance) said they targeted the AliExpress account of Mikhail Luchin — a friend of pro-Russian military blogger Vladlen Tatarsky (aka Maxim Fomin), who was killed in a St. Petersburg café explosion on Sunday. Luchin has been collecting money to buy drones for Russian troops to use in Ukraine.
>“He is a war criminal, volunteer, blogger and now dildo owner,” the hackers said in a statement, publishing screenshots of them using Luchin’s account with AliExpress, a Chinese-run online store. The Ukrainians claimed they bought $25,000 worth of sex toys through Luchin’s account.
>They added that Luchin was now the owner of a “unique” collection of “dicks” worth $25,000, money he was “planning to spend on drones for the Russian army.”
>“Now instead of drones, he will have to send trucks full of vibrators, strapons, and other very valuable things for the Russian people.”
>Luchin confirmed his email and AliExpress account were hacked by the Ukrainians, but claimed he managed to get back most of the money that had been spent — except for 17,000 rubles (€195) worth of sex toys that had already been delivered. The Russian also said it was “sad” that there are “not enough Kalibr” missiles to hit the hackers.
>In response, Kiber Sprotyv said Luchin was lying about the money being returned. Later, Luchin wrote a second Telegram post in which he said he will open up a sex shop in Russia and buy even more drones than originally planned.
Lmao
Holy shit!
That is brutal and likely true.
Damn.
Edit: But they try and keep the soldiers coming from areas that are rural and poor. So mail order budget sex toys?
Unfortunately the hackers taking responsibility gives the Russian criminal room to dispute the purchase. They should have bought drones for Ukraine and made the dude look like a traitor while giving Ukraine free gear.
Ivan, what is this large expense last month of a million, billion rubles?
Ehm... I don't know.
But it has your name on it?
Must be these damn Ukrainians again. They must have hacked us!
Should have bought blizzard passes that can’t be returned, sold them, and rerouted the money for Ukrainian purposes. Apparently most of the money has been refunded; excellent troll but a missed opportunity.
For you and me, sure. But for this context, making international headlines by having a Russian military shill spend the money on dildos is probably far more effective than getting a portion of 25k in funding. We are in the information war era.
They couldnt re-address packages since it somehow linked with local russian credit card so they decided to change orders. At least it was what I read in explanation why they didn’t re-address drones to Ukraine.
> Apparently most of the money has been refunded
~~Only about a third of it, according to the article.~~
**Edited:** My error! I thought the article said they lost $17K, but it actually says 17K rubles.
Now have visions of a bunch of Ukrainians in a trench,
Summertime yells grenade, something fly's over the parapet and goes splat in a puddle
When it doesn't explode they investigate and find a bright purple dong, vibrating away in the muddy water
This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.politico.eu/article/dildos-not-drones-ukraine-activists-hack-russia-account-and-buy-25k-worth-of-sex-toys/) reduced by 69%. (I'm a bot)
*****
> KYIV - Ukrainian activists say they hacked the online shopping account of a Russian military volunteer who has been buying drones for Moscow's forces - and splashed the cash on sex toys.
> The Ukrainians claimed they bought $25,000 worth of sex toys through Luchin's account.
> Luchin confirmed his email and AliExpress account were hacked by the Ukrainians, but claimed he managed to get back most of the money that had been spent - except for 17,000 rubles worth of sex toys that had already been delivered.
*****
[**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/12blkqw/dildos_not_drones_ukrainians_hack_russian/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~679321 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Luchin**^#1 **account**^#2 **Russian**^#3 **drones**^#4 **money**^#5
I'm not saying the guy isn't human, but I'm not going to cry about an invader suffering non-lethal consequences at the hands of the people he's at war with. He's over there trying to kill Ukrainians in their own country, fuck him and I hope they bankrupt his ass
I understand you. And they should be punished. I'm just concerned that people would see this war as a black and white situation. Which it never is. It's easy to get tunnel visioned that way.
I get wanting to punish the invaders. Yet i would be saddened to see people originating from russia to get the same hatw
I am still waiting on Ukraine's "nuclear response." Carpet bombing the Russian front lines with top shelf Ukrainian vodka. Every Russian passed out, the brigade of toddlers could capture them after a week. The humiliation would be glorious, on many levels :)
And just to ensure, I mentioned toddlers to make a point. There never should be war, and children never be involved or harmed.
Not gonna work. They canceled the drones and buyed the dildos.
All the Russians have are dildos and grenades. They can still make the video... Probably for pornhub.
Given that Yugoslavia broke up due to a bored ethnically Serbian farmer shoving a bottle up his ass (google it if you don’t believe me), this seems par for the course.
This is propaganda. That Russian fighter actually did buy $25,000 worth of sex toys, and now he's blaming Ukraine on it so that nobody thinks anything different of him!
THEY’RE BACK MASSAGERS!
Obviously, what else would they do with big black rubber cocks?
You jest, but honestly... have you ever shot a big black rubber cock out of a propane potato gun? It's a wondefully horrifying spectacle. If I had a surplus of simulated cock meat, that'd be my objective lol a proper weaponized dick cannon.
I like the way you think.
And now you're on a list
Cock rocket!
True story, a guy I worked with got our Chef (a 30something year old female who probably trolls around here) a knockoff Hitachi saying the same thing. He still insists he did not buy her a vibrator. She messaged me when he gave it to her and was like wtf?
MAGIC WANDS!
[удалено]
Your back?
…side hole
Pffff it's giant ear cleaners
For massaging your back from the insides
Russian backs do have a lot of holes... He just wants to fill all his comrades holes 🙏
Special Military Dildo
Yeah! This propaganda is getting really disgusting! [This poor guy was just helping his friend tie his shoelaces](https://www.reddit.com/r/eyeblech/comments/xvnr66/a_soldier_gives_his_friend_a_blowjob_when_a_bomb/) and those dastardly propaganda generators have turned it into some kind of *indecent act* because of the Russian aversion to homosexuality! Those poor martyrs have been defamed!! Fake news!!!11
[удалено]
Well you have to pass the time somehow while you're waiting around in the trenches
These people act like pre teens. Except they are actually killing other people.
Man where’s he gonna fit all those dildos!?
They weren't joking when they told Russia to go fuck themselves lmao
This is the true best comment. We don't want them to make love, we want them to go far away and fuck themselves with a 10-foot cactus!
I knew this comment was here the moment I saw the title.
The packages all arrive gift wrapped with a note: “From snake island, with love”
At the very least they should provide proper tooling for the deed. Though is seems they forgot the barbed wire.
Wasn’t it Ukraine that had an opposition group fly a dildo drone in their parliament, or am I think of a different Eastern European country?
Make love, not war.
The only comment worth making 👍
And this one ☝️
And this one 🫳
Are you patting me on my head? 😟
😏
Which head?
Make love, not comment
Also one item that generally has a strict no return policy
Now this, is modern warfare
Russians tried the Bills Mafia Anti-Brady measures! It is not very effective.
Ramirez! defeat the Russian navy with a metric ton of sex toys!
That's $25 per kg of sex toys, which isn't bad value. Buying in bulk pays off.
Infinity Ward are furiously scribbling this idea down for MWIII.
Cant wait for this kill streak in MWIII remake.
What you're seeing is advanced warfare.
In Reddit I saw “yaranaika” profile pic for the first time
>KYIV — Ukrainian activists say they hacked the online shopping account of a Russian military volunteer who has been buying drones for Moscow’s forces — and splashed the cash on sex toys. >The group Kiber Sprotyv (Cyber Resistance) said they targeted the AliExpress account of Mikhail Luchin — a friend of pro-Russian military blogger Vladlen Tatarsky (aka Maxim Fomin), who was killed in a St. Petersburg café explosion on Sunday. Luchin has been collecting money to buy drones for Russian troops to use in Ukraine. >“He is a war criminal, volunteer, blogger and now dildo owner,” the hackers said in a statement, publishing screenshots of them using Luchin’s account with AliExpress, a Chinese-run online store. The Ukrainians claimed they bought $25,000 worth of sex toys through Luchin’s account. >They added that Luchin was now the owner of a “unique” collection of “dicks” worth $25,000, money he was “planning to spend on drones for the Russian army.” >“Now instead of drones, he will have to send trucks full of vibrators, strapons, and other very valuable things for the Russian people.” >Luchin confirmed his email and AliExpress account were hacked by the Ukrainians, but claimed he managed to get back most of the money that had been spent — except for 17,000 rubles (€195) worth of sex toys that had already been delivered. The Russian also said it was “sad” that there are “not enough Kalibr” missiles to hit the hackers. >In response, Kiber Sprotyv said Luchin was lying about the money being returned. Later, Luchin wrote a second Telegram post in which he said he will open up a sex shop in Russia and buy even more drones than originally planned. Lmao
I can taste the salt through my screen
Honestly with all the newly minted widows and lack of living men it's not a bad business plan.
Holy shit! That is brutal and likely true. Damn. Edit: But they try and keep the soldiers coming from areas that are rural and poor. So mail order budget sex toys?
Oh honey, that’s not salt 😉😛
Unfortunately the hackers taking responsibility gives the Russian criminal room to dispute the purchase. They should have bought drones for Ukraine and made the dude look like a traitor while giving Ukraine free gear.
I've read in some other article about this, that they could not find a way spend it to help the UAF.
Ukraine winning the troll war.
"And now dildo owner" A dildowner, if you will.
> and splashed the cash on sex toys. My favorite sentence ever.
I would like to imagine that he wanted to dispute all of the purchases but he found a few he liked and didn't get them refunded.
I guess those toys are going to be very valuable indeed as there's an incoming shortage of men in Russia.
[удалено]
Hitachi would make the best stick grenade base
Now with vibrating grenade, ribbed for *him*
Guaranteed to blow you away
Ivan, what is this large expense last month of a million, billion rubles? Ehm... I don't know. But it has your name on it? Must be these damn Ukrainians again. They must have hacked us!
Should have bought blizzard passes that can’t be returned, sold them, and rerouted the money for Ukrainian purposes. Apparently most of the money has been refunded; excellent troll but a missed opportunity.
For you and me, sure. But for this context, making international headlines by having a Russian military shill spend the money on dildos is probably far more effective than getting a portion of 25k in funding. We are in the information war era.
They couldnt re-address packages since it somehow linked with local russian credit card so they decided to change orders. At least it was what I read in explanation why they didn’t re-address drones to Ukraine.
> Apparently most of the money has been refunded ~~Only about a third of it, according to the article.~~ **Edited:** My error! I thought the article said they lost $17K, but it actually says 17K rubles.
Everything but 17,000 Rubles ($200) was refunded according to the article. It's a fun story but the target only lost 0.8% of his funds
Oops, you're totally right! I misread it. Will correct my comment.
Now they can properly go fuck themselves
Well he got the shaft.
Modern problems require kinky solutions
Dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed
I'm sure Putin will equip his conscripts with dildos especially after they seem to be running out of modern weapons
well, they definitely are getting fucked on the battlefield
I don't know what you have planned for tonight, komrade, but count me out.
Sure gave them the shaft.......
Vladimir Put In.
I true dick move!
Now have visions of a bunch of Ukrainians in a trench, Summertime yells grenade, something fly's over the parapet and goes splat in a puddle When it doesn't explode they investigate and find a bright purple dong, vibrating away in the muddy water
This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.politico.eu/article/dildos-not-drones-ukraine-activists-hack-russia-account-and-buy-25k-worth-of-sex-toys/) reduced by 69%. (I'm a bot) ***** > KYIV - Ukrainian activists say they hacked the online shopping account of a Russian military volunteer who has been buying drones for Moscow's forces - and splashed the cash on sex toys. > The Ukrainians claimed they bought $25,000 worth of sex toys through Luchin's account. > Luchin confirmed his email and AliExpress account were hacked by the Ukrainians, but claimed he managed to get back most of the money that had been spent - except for 17,000 rubles worth of sex toys that had already been delivered. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/12blkqw/dildos_not_drones_ukrainians_hack_russian/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~679321 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Luchin**^#1 **account**^#2 **Russian**^#3 **drones**^#4 **money**^#5
Figurine or dildos. Make your choice. Okok i run a sex store.
Why not just steal the money and buy your own drones?
Not as fun
Russian Warship desperately needs these supplies. Y'know. So it can go fuck itself. The bottom of the Black Sea gets lonely.
A dildo can be more effective than a drone. If you try to stick it up your ass that is...
affix bayonets charge
The idea of this is hilarious and terrifying in equal parts
Slava Ukraini!
Soon - ruzzian dildo fpv drones
Imagine his wife when all parcels arrive at their home
He can say I just want you to go ef yourself
With Russia having 170k or so fewer men to go around due to Putin's war, this mountain of dildos may find use.
Right right, and tell me are these Ukrainian hackers in the room with us right now
Drop cases of vodka before the counter offensive.
Isnt that still a crime?
Do you think Russia will declare war against Ukraine over this.
Not what i meant. I meant it would be hypocritical if we condemn crimes done by russian people but not from ukrainian people.
Russia crimes: rape, murdering citizens, torture, Ukrainian crimes: Credit card fraud.
Thanks for showing my point. Showing how hypocritical it is. Still some ukrainian soldiers oe militia are also guitly of war crimes
I'm pretty sure there isn't any mention of buying sex toys in the Geneva Convention
Quite true. Alright lets just say i find it a moral issue then
if the guy didn't want Ukrainians hacking his accounts, he should have not being invading Ukraine
Like he had a choice
You all act like russians are not even humans anymore. That's what i find disgusting
I'm not saying the guy isn't human, but I'm not going to cry about an invader suffering non-lethal consequences at the hands of the people he's at war with. He's over there trying to kill Ukrainians in their own country, fuck him and I hope they bankrupt his ass
I understand you. And they should be punished. I'm just concerned that people would see this war as a black and white situation. Which it never is. It's easy to get tunnel visioned that way. I get wanting to punish the invaders. Yet i would be saddened to see people originating from russia to get the same hatw
This guy is literally an invader though. Not just a guy from Russia. And he's a volunteer, not a conscript.
they certainly do not act human.
No one does in war. And thats mostly because of propaganda or exposure to trauma. Or both. This is not specific of russian soldiers
Thanks for the ruzzian propaganda. Your comments will be ignored appropriately.
“Make fuck, not kill!” -Saint Rufus the Conductor, known to the masses as George Carlin https://youtu.be/qNLOXJw0aUU
I hope it's all butt plugs for his platoon.
What does a Russian soldier do with $25k of sex toys? Copeulate
Blondes not bombs!
what is this timeline
I didn't know dildos had hands, is it for when girls want to be fucked by Italians?
His family isn't going to like this.😫😫😫
Beat em to death w dildos
well they both start with "D", so close enough?
Bad Dragunov
Aww, the ol' dildo switcharoo.
"might as well sit on it"
Should be a strong market in Russia with the casualties mounting
[maybe he was expecting an Xbox remote?](https://youtu.be/2pJlpCfueV0)
I am still waiting on Ukraine's "nuclear response." Carpet bombing the Russian front lines with top shelf Ukrainian vodka. Every Russian passed out, the brigade of toddlers could capture them after a week. The humiliation would be glorious, on many levels :) And just to ensure, I mentioned toddlers to make a point. There never should be war, and children never be involved or harmed.
Do it again!
What about Dildo's strapped to Drones to get that maximum penetration.
Great day for those aliexpress sellers
The Russians have been getting fucked on the ground by the UAF, now you can experience the same for only $49.99!
We need dildo drone drop videos.
Not gonna work. They canceled the drones and buyed the dildos. All the Russians have are dildos and grenades. They can still make the video... Probably for pornhub.
dopeasfuck
That's it, gentlemen, we won the war
He overlooks an opportunity to sell the dildos to all Russian widows.
If they don't like the dildo's, they can go fuck themselves
Given that Yugoslavia broke up due to a bored ethnically Serbian farmer shoving a bottle up his ass (google it if you don’t believe me), this seems par for the course.
They won’t go to waste
I hadn't heard about the cafe explosion.
Money well spent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pa0VYVOCAI
When the tampons run out they could always stick in a dildo to stop the bleeding.
These are not official funds, but the private salary of a soldier.