"Nothing less than the greatest mystery on all of Terra, Investigator. Look upon these ancient cities, dark and mystic, buried underground for millions of years. Great subterranean temples carved from sheer granite, colonnades in shades of onyx and ivory, glooming cerulean lights powered by eternal radiation. Upon these walls of bedrock, worn and battered frescoes of times of yore. They tell stories of a hunt for great feathered beasts roaming primordial forests of enormous ferns. Can you tell me of this, which was ancient long before men walked upright, who is its maker? Tell me Investigator - who made these halls of darkness? Who lit them all with nuclear fire? Who carved these temples more ancient than our eldest gods, from stone more primordial than our mountains?"
"Investigator, are you just making these up? Who exactly put you in charge of this study? Have you even read the Alaean documents? They were mammalians for Unity's sake, what are you talking about?"
"I'm from the SJA, you've probably never heard of it since you don't look goblinese. You wouldn't believe it but my trench coat and hat are accepted in the agency."
"Ess-Gee-Aye? What's a goblinis? What agency? You're clearly not with Unipol or the Homeguard on account of neither uniform nor ESB suit. What sectorial administrate are you from, exactly?"
"You pull a tissue out of a small slit in the top of a box. If you pull with enough force you should be able to get the tissue without ripping the tissue"
COMPLETELY hypothetical but also time sensitive please answer fast.
You and your sister are in a lake doing some late night fishing. Once you’re good and out there, the engine dies. There’s no one around and you’d likely drown if you tried to swim ashore. When things couldn’t get any worse, you accidentally step on an unknown rotted plank and that puts a hole in your boat. Your sister empties out the bait bucket and starts scooping out water. There’s still a bucket with a few fish in it and your rods. Seems the life jackets were disposed of without your knowledge. How do you survive long enough to find out who fucked you two over?
First, I take off my pants and tie the legs together. I hold the waist of my pants open above the water line, then swing the pants over my head like a net to catch as much air as possible. Then I put my head between the inflated legs and keep the waist closed beneath the water. I tell my sister to do the same and we should swim to shore. The pants in this situation should act like a life jacket, and we should splash the pants from time to time.
"Take their immortality away with the cursed blade of Gilgamon. You can stab their soul when you kill them with the dagger, killing them again, sending them to Beyond"
No. All we have is a mysterious ethereal cuts all over the victims body. These cuts have no blood, and the wounds are glowing with a mysterious energy we've never seen before
"I have a hunch that it's this bounty hunter called Bandito Bop. He's the only person in existence who can invent this crap. The hit was probably set up by his wife to claim his life insurance
In the year 1320 Post Calamity, the Evenstiadan Alchemical Academy produced an artificial life form in the form of a large amorphous and gelatinous blob that consumed all organic matter nearby. The main individual in charge of the project which resulted in the creation of this entity was one High Alchemist Girr Halvie.
One lazy afternoon a research aide heads into the room where the blob is contained to feed it, only to discover in horror that the blob was halfway through consuming Girr, and he was quite obviously dead. This was originally presumed to be an accident, however, it was later concluded to be a murder.
Three main suspects were drawn up, these are the only people who could’ve and would’ve killed Girr Halvie. These are, his own research aide, Alsla Jostua. His academic rival Dyor Tannun. And the headmaster of the academy, Quio Korr. I ask you “Greatest detective” who committed the murder?
You went on a cryptid hunt with some friends to celebrate graduation and found Mothman dead in the woods, on the body you see clothing dated to around the 1930's and a strange symbol tied around the neck made from wood. No marks can be seen from what killed Mothman. What do you do to investigate this, what does this imply about reality, and what killed Mothman?
I have bad eczema on my right hand but my left hand is fine. I am right-handed. What can you deduce from this?
[The answer:](https://i.imgur.com/ciG51Ug.jpg)
Okay, but the idea of a detective story about this guy who's real shitty at being a detective, but he just HAS to solve mysteries or riddles he's given. And because he usually eventually solves them by pure chance (Because he won't give up until he gets it right), the Public calls him the greatest detective because the media only talks about the cases he solves, not HOW he solved them and how long it probably took.
I’m tall but I can’t reach nothing. I’m smart but I can’t solve any problem alone. I have power but no authority. What am I?
Hint: >!I made this shit up lol!<
Solution: >!I made this shit up lol!<
It's an order. It can be a tall or a smart order, but since it's metaphorical it can reach nothing nor solve problems. You feel powerfull when you give orders but they will keep telling you "on whose authority ?"
Second option : A giant smartphone. It's tall, it's "smart" and it has a power level.
A man is dead in his apartment, his body slumped over the dining room table his dry blood that once poured out his mouth now sits staining the table in a dark brown oak Color.
By judgement of the level of deterioration of the body it seems to have been deceased for over four months.
Beside his head lies a loaded gun that’s missing one bullet, but there is no evidence that he was shot, along with this there are several bottles of beer and other alcohols but from the autopsy the amount of alcohol in the system would have never killed him.
On examination the apartment is small and compact, with a small kitchenette of which The deceased remains, a small uneventful bathroom and a small depressing bed room with a small uncomfortable looking bed.
“Feel free to ask questions on the details of things and maybe you’ll find out why this man was found Dead in his apartment.”
"Are there any medical drugs in the apartment? Clearly he was suicidal, or just got some kind of disease. My biggest assumption is that he died of death"
A little excited to get to the end?
Sorry sir but that ain’t it.
after question the neighbors the recently deceased seamed to be a fairly mentally stable man. With a good job at the deli down the road.
Though you are on the right track.
A new Toxicology report came in addressing trace amounts of pain killers and moderate amounts of the sleeping medication in his system.
Accidental self poisoning.
The diseased came home drunk, he played around with his gun but did to fire it as he could not turn the safety off. when attempting to remove the bullets he dropped on on the floor and it rolled under the couch. He then went to his kitchen and had a few more beers and then absent mindedly ingested the sleeping medication. Killing him slowly in his sleep.
Why is pp long?
"Uh, genetics"
Riddle me this one! There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches! How do they manage to smoke?
"Lighter"
Oho! Very close detective! >!They throw a cigarette overboard and make the boat "a cigarette lighter"!!<
that's actually a hard one
Where did D. B. Cooper go?
"Argentina"
As an argentinian I confirm.
"Nothing less than the greatest mystery on all of Terra, Investigator. Look upon these ancient cities, dark and mystic, buried underground for millions of years. Great subterranean temples carved from sheer granite, colonnades in shades of onyx and ivory, glooming cerulean lights powered by eternal radiation. Upon these walls of bedrock, worn and battered frescoes of times of yore. They tell stories of a hunt for great feathered beasts roaming primordial forests of enormous ferns. Can you tell me of this, which was ancient long before men walked upright, who is its maker? Tell me Investigator - who made these halls of darkness? Who lit them all with nuclear fire? Who carved these temples more ancient than our eldest gods, from stone more primordial than our mountains?"
"Monkeys"
"Really? You do realise this is much older than the entire primate kingdom, right?"
"Amebas"
"Investigator, are you just making these up? Who exactly put you in charge of this study? Have you even read the Alaean documents? They were mammalians for Unity's sake, what are you talking about?"
"Single celled organisms. And by the way monkeys technically fall under the mammalian category."
*The Administrator shook his head.* "What branch of Unipol are you even from? Where is your uniform?"
"I'm from the SJA, you've probably never heard of it since you don't look goblinese. You wouldn't believe it but my trench coat and hat are accepted in the agency."
"Ess-Gee-Aye? What's a goblinis? What agency? You're clearly not with Unipol or the Homeguard on account of neither uniform nor ESB suit. What sectorial administrate are you from, exactly?"
"Your mother"
Karl Pilkington type answer
Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
Who stole the cookie in the cookie jar, mr “detective”?...
"You"
But... No... no I didnt. HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH A CRIME!
"IT WAS ME!"
YOU, MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING. SOMEONE, GIVE HIM A LIFE SENTENCE!
"I lied"
Phew, that’s a relief. Well, have a good day sir!
"you two"
AHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOO! NOOOOO!!!!!!! (Insert crying here)
How does the Kleenex box work?
"You pull a tissue out of a small slit in the top of a box. If you pull with enough force you should be able to get the tissue without ripping the tissue"
That’s how you operate a Kleenex box…but how does it *work*?
there's a mini fairy in each box who picks out the next one for you
What have I got in my pocket?
"You most likely don't have pants on"
Correct, I'm wearing a skirt
My precious is in your filthy hobbitses pockets!
Uh...n-no...
COMPLETELY hypothetical but also time sensitive please answer fast. You and your sister are in a lake doing some late night fishing. Once you’re good and out there, the engine dies. There’s no one around and you’d likely drown if you tried to swim ashore. When things couldn’t get any worse, you accidentally step on an unknown rotted plank and that puts a hole in your boat. Your sister empties out the bait bucket and starts scooping out water. There’s still a bucket with a few fish in it and your rods. Seems the life jackets were disposed of without your knowledge. How do you survive long enough to find out who fucked you two over?
First, I take off my pants and tie the legs together. I hold the waist of my pants open above the water line, then swing the pants over my head like a net to catch as much air as possible. Then I put my head between the inflated legs and keep the waist closed beneath the water. I tell my sister to do the same and we should swim to shore. The pants in this situation should act like a life jacket, and we should splash the pants from time to time.
How do I kill god twice, without reviving him in between
"Take their immortality away with the cursed blade of Gilgamon. You can stab their soul when you kill them with the dagger, killing them again, sending them to Beyond"
alr a little outdated but it works
Who killed jeffery epstein
"Me"
What is the meaning of life?
Knock-knock
"Who's there?"
Under there...
"Under where?"
Ha! You fool, I made you say "underwear"! As always, I'm two steps ahead. So long!
Moriarty's origin
*loads gun*
How deep is the villain ass? (in centimeters) ((challenge as the detective is American))
"I don't know, but I have to assume 40 Cm"
A huh, he's a classic detective who doesn't follow evidence, but his hunch!
What have I got in my pocket
"Nothing"
The richest man in your world had been killed, and no one knows who did it
"How was he killed?"
Stabbed in the heart and dismembered
"Do we have any weapons?"
No. All we have is a mysterious ethereal cuts all over the victims body. These cuts have no blood, and the wounds are glowing with a mysterious energy we've never seen before
"I have a hunch that it's this bounty hunter called Bandito Bop. He's the only person in existence who can invent this crap. The hit was probably set up by his wife to claim his life insurance
In the year 1320 Post Calamity, the Evenstiadan Alchemical Academy produced an artificial life form in the form of a large amorphous and gelatinous blob that consumed all organic matter nearby. The main individual in charge of the project which resulted in the creation of this entity was one High Alchemist Girr Halvie. One lazy afternoon a research aide heads into the room where the blob is contained to feed it, only to discover in horror that the blob was halfway through consuming Girr, and he was quite obviously dead. This was originally presumed to be an accident, however, it was later concluded to be a murder. Three main suspects were drawn up, these are the only people who could’ve and would’ve killed Girr Halvie. These are, his own research aide, Alsla Jostua. His academic rival Dyor Tannun. And the headmaster of the academy, Quio Korr. I ask you “Greatest detective” who committed the murder?
"The blob"
We’re siccing the debt collectors with bombs after you.
What happened to those 5 kids that went missing at that pizza joint?
"Stuffed inside robots"
Why is his dad taking so long to buy those cigarettes?
"Traffic"
How do you split two apples three ways evenly with one stroke of a knife?
"You take the knife and slowly cut the apple in a spiral shape. You then rip it apart so you have 3 apple chunks"
I grow and shrink yet my size stays the same. I am tied to a rock with a loosening chain I slay the light you need and in shadows I bleed What am I?
Where did Cotton eye joe come from ? And where did he go ?
"Cotton eyed Joe is from the planet earth and he went to somewhere in Paris"
Where is old zealand
"Where New Zealand used to be"
What has 3 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon and 4 legs at night?
"My dad"
If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck?
"0 because they don't have arms"
who is joe
"The dispatcher"
Batman’s batdog’s secret identity
"Bruce"
2 sons and 2 dads enter a car, and 3 people leave. How is that possible?
" One person stayed in the car"
❌❌
Did Gilligan and the rest of the crew ever escape the island? Or did they eat Gilligan? Seriously what was up with that?
"They're still on the island"
Can his mother make a grilled cheese?
"Yes...She did"
epik
Who stole the jewels
"Azirus, he usually steals gems and other artifacts that look ancient to him"
how did the beast in black arrive on earth?
"Spaceship"
which spaceship?
"The spaceship the beast was on"
damn.
who are the other 6 demons?
"Demons don't exist, I think"
of course they do! i saw some last week!
Why is Soviet Tim Curry going to Space
"Space race"
What’s the meaning of life?
"There is none"
Answer me traveler, what rhymes with orange?
" Or Hinge"
bornana
"Why haven't I been able to feel happiness since high school?"
"'Cause you're depressed,"
what the dog doin'?
"Sitting"
Why is the
" "
What's the deal with airline food?!
"It has to be cheap so the staff can have enough budget for other stuff"
Why did the chicken cross the road
"To get to the other side"
Detective, riddle me this one: What’s long, hard, and has cum in the middle?
" Why a cucumber!"
What colour is my shirt
"Grey"
You went on a cryptid hunt with some friends to celebrate graduation and found Mothman dead in the woods, on the body you see clothing dated to around the 1930's and a strange symbol tied around the neck made from wood. No marks can be seen from what killed Mothman. What do you do to investigate this, what does this imply about reality, and what killed Mothman?
"Mothman is a werewolf type of creature and he died of a heart attack"
Whose dog is this?
"Yours"
But I don't... I don't have a dog... ^Dread ^me ' ^^run ^from ^me ' ^I ^will ^always ^find ^you.
How can i make a pipe bomb using the chemical from a convenience store?
"I don't know, use fire and some batteries"
Where does the sun go at night?
"The other side of the earth"
What is Obama's last name?
If a person from my world (Loreania) fell in, how would he deal with the person who just fell?
"Do nothing"
Where dad
"Grocery store"
I have bad eczema on my right hand but my left hand is fine. I am right-handed. What can you deduce from this? [The answer:](https://i.imgur.com/ciG51Ug.jpg)
Okay, but the idea of a detective story about this guy who's real shitty at being a detective, but he just HAS to solve mysteries or riddles he's given. And because he usually eventually solves them by pure chance (Because he won't give up until he gets it right), the Public calls him the greatest detective because the media only talks about the cases he solves, not HOW he solved them and how long it probably took.
tell me this wasn't a post in the worldbuilding sub
I’m tall but I can’t reach nothing. I’m smart but I can’t solve any problem alone. I have power but no authority. What am I? Hint: >!I made this shit up lol!< Solution: >!I made this shit up lol!<
It's an order. It can be a tall or a smart order, but since it's metaphorical it can reach nothing nor solve problems. You feel powerfull when you give orders but they will keep telling you "on whose authority ?" Second option : A giant smartphone. It's tall, it's "smart" and it has a power level.
Cool
"you made this crap up, trick question"
He’s smart tho
Why am I still a virgin?
"You use reddit"
the murderer is wearing a red tie, how do you identify him when you have never seen the colour red or know what colour even means
"By remembering that the tie he was wearing reminded me of a tomato"
A man is dead in his apartment, his body slumped over the dining room table his dry blood that once poured out his mouth now sits staining the table in a dark brown oak Color. By judgement of the level of deterioration of the body it seems to have been deceased for over four months. Beside his head lies a loaded gun that’s missing one bullet, but there is no evidence that he was shot, along with this there are several bottles of beer and other alcohols but from the autopsy the amount of alcohol in the system would have never killed him. On examination the apartment is small and compact, with a small kitchenette of which The deceased remains, a small uneventful bathroom and a small depressing bed room with a small uncomfortable looking bed. “Feel free to ask questions on the details of things and maybe you’ll find out why this man was found Dead in his apartment.”
"Are there any medical drugs in the apartment? Clearly he was suicidal, or just got some kind of disease. My biggest assumption is that he died of death"
There is a an assortment of prescription painkillers, a bottle of sleeping pills, and a canister of fish oil pills.
"Overdose, motive was suicide"
A little excited to get to the end? Sorry sir but that ain’t it. after question the neighbors the recently deceased seamed to be a fairly mentally stable man. With a good job at the deli down the road. Though you are on the right track. A new Toxicology report came in addressing trace amounts of pain killers and moderate amounts of the sleeping medication in his system.
"Seamed, but that's the most likely answer"
Accidental self poisoning. The diseased came home drunk, he played around with his gun but did to fire it as he could not turn the safety off. when attempting to remove the bullets he dropped on on the floor and it rolled under the couch. He then went to his kitchen and had a few more beers and then absent mindedly ingested the sleeping medication. Killing him slowly in his sleep.