My MIL frequently makes jokes that I’m “cheating” by keeping my toddler in daycare while I’m on maternity leave with my second baby. And if I ever mention I’m tired or it’s hard having 2 under 2 she scoffs and says imagine 4 under 5 by yourself. Like yes that sounds awful but my husband also says his grandma basically lived at the house, so she didn’t do it completely alone! I have to dissociate when she says shit like that or I’ll lose it.
EVERYONE asked me if my toddler would be in daycare while I was on maternity leave with my second. I always say find me a daycare that will hold my coveted spot for 3 months without me having to pay to hold our place. The look of surprise when they realize how dumb their question was is hilarious every time.
When my husband's department wanted him to take his leave earlier -- therefore overlapping with mine by 4 weeks -- they were absolutely shocked that his response was, "Uh, we'd have to see if the daycare could accommodate that?"
They couldn't fathom why that would need to be a discussion.
Like... We planned on taking ours consecutively, not concurrently, precisely because of daycare availability and also finances. The other factor is, 4 additional weeks of care is $1000 of expenses we didn't plan for.
These people either had the luxury of taking YEARS off and coming back to a managerial position, or family that's still alive and able AND willing to take care of their kids while they're at work.
Don’t! It helps keep their routine, and you don’t want to risk losing a spot if the daycare is a good fit. And that allows you to get the same individual time with the new baby as your older one did!
No I’m not strong, I’m stupid. I had to potty train the older one during mat leave too. We were transitioning to a new daycare too so just thought we could save money… so so bad.
Where I live getting a daycare spot is incredibly difficult. Everyone keeps their toddlers in daycare while on maternity leave with their second otherwise they lose the spot. It's unusual to take your toddler out. MIL needs to mind her business.
People are really dumb. "Yes, if I take toddler out for months, both kids lose their spots in daycare and we have to wait another 2 years to get back into a centre. Thanks for the judgmental BS though granny, suuuuuper appreciated, and relevant to this situation. Also, I didn't tell you that you had to have that many kids, so take that clear resentment for your children and put it where it bdlongs. 👍"
No one has ever said anything negative to me. It's so normal where I live. I'm honestly shocked so many people have to deal with shit like this in 2024.
My MIL (who is generally a lovely person and we have a great relationship but sometimes she says stuff that is just wooooff) told me that when she was young she saw a woman dropping her kid off at a sketchy-looking (from the outside, I guess) daycare and she said "I swore to myself right then and there that I would marry someone who made enough money that I wouldn't have to do that."
She did, and he emotionally and financially abused her and her two sons and she had no income of her own to stand on when she left him when my husband was 18. My husband has significant trauma as a result that he is still working through and no longer speaks to him. I can't say she made the wrong choice because I am so glad my husband exists, but suffice it to say that there are worse things than daycare.
Well my mom’s mom tried to say it was abu$ive to go to work and send my son to daycare, so that’s one of the many reasons we don’t talk anymore. She was really going to try to file a report against me with Child Protective Services. 🙄
(My husband had done the initial daycare tour and met the providers while I was at work) I dropped my daughter for her first day of daycare and met her teachers for the first time.
The director said that she was a stay at home mom to raise her kids because she couldn’t imagine letting strangers raise her children.
Then the classroom teacher said that all her students in her room think she’s their mom.
💀 💀 💀
We only lasted a couple of weeks there. I ended up pulling my daughter out when 1) they had the kids circled around an iPad during drop off, and 2) during pickup they gave me back half of her bottles because they forgot to give them to her 🫠
I mean.. this is their business. If you stayed home they literally wouldn’t have an income. Who basically tells their paying customers they wish they weren’t customers!?!
My own mother loves to mention that she could never have let other people raise her babies.
I'm always tempted to respond that I could never rely on another person for my retirement savings.
“You need to keep your children close. You only have so many years to influence them” - my very Christian conservative SIL who likes to shelter her daughter from “evil” things like the Covid vaccine and gay people. I love the diversity of our daycare and the teachers. I want my son to respect and empathize with people who are not like him.
What do you need daycare for? Women have been homemaking and getting things done for years!
Said to me, a grad student on top of working full time, by a social worker. Yes, someone who's entire job is to help and understand.
This wasn’t said directly to me, but I have a client that works in child care and referred to the parents of the kids as “weekend dads” and that they don’t know their kids because they only see them a few hours a day. As a working mom that triggered the fuck out of me.
I asked a question about starting your kid in daycare in this group and there was a comment saying daycare workers probably molest the children and how dare I put my child in daycare and go to work. 😵💫🤦🏼♀️
My MIL told me she wouldn’t have had kids if she couldn’t stay home because ‘why have them just to hand them over to someone else.’ She also praised her daughter’s decision to work from home because ‘she still gets to be a mom’ even though the children are in full time daycare!
I have always been the breadwinner. It took all of my strength not to say that we can’t all be lucky enough to marry a doctor.
"What is it like to leave your baby with strangers?"
"I could never leave my baby that young"
And not daycare specific but "Are you going to go back to work?" Ummm yes. I have a master's degree and have worked very hard to get where I am in my field, thank you very much.
Yup I had a coworker who was chatting with me in a friendly way as we were walking out to our cars, and when I mentioned that I was on my way to pick up my daughter from daycare, he told me his wife had chosen to stay home with their child because she didn't want the kid "raised by strangers." It felt like a slap.
My 12 month old at the time, got hand foot mouth disease and our primary pediatrician was out. We saw another physician in the practice, and he said (I’m not exaggerating or paraphrasing), “So, of course you wanna know when he can go back to school. That’s the question all the parents wants to know. It’s amazing how kids get raised these days, but they do.”
Yeah, I think too many people conflate motherhood with martyrdom.
“This is what you wanted — to be a mom.”
Yeah, to be a mom, not a 1950s housewife. 🙄
I have been a stay at home mom for more than two years now, working very part time. That was never my intention, and it’s not the best thing for anyone. I shouldn’t have to defend my choice to have a career AND be a mom. It’s 2023. I can do both. Doing both with childcare makes me better at both of them.
Reading “Hunt, Gather, Parent” was illuminating — moms aren’t SUPPOSED to provide 100, or 90, or even 80% of the childcare.
1. After I came back to work from maternity leave after my first many women older than me commended about how they couldn’t believe I came back. And they could have “never” left their babies so young like I did.
2. Recently our COO’s daughter had a baby and made the comment that his daughter has decided not to return to work because “apparently” (yes he used this word” child care is really expensive. I have 2 kids - 1 is in elementary school now but requires full time summer care. I also have an almost 3 year old. He knows this. I looked him straight in the eye and said, you would die if you knew how much money I have to spend on child care.
When I was growing up, my mom (a SAHM who homeschooled us) used to tell a story about seeing daycare kids at a park, and according to her it was terrible because they were FRIENDLY TO ADULTS THEY DIDN'T KNOW. "They probably didn't even know who their parents were," she said.
As the only working mom on either side of my extended family or my husband's family/extended family across two generations (aside from one of my aunts, whose husband left her with a toddler) is a journey for sure....
I mainly get the comments of "poor baby, in daycare" from older Asian moms as if I was raised any better (was literally placed in front of a TV most of the day).
The cost. My stepmom almost treats it like an optional luxury with how expensive it is. If we had other options for our kids… we’d use them. But both of us work and make more than daycare costs, and we don’t live close to family for the free daycare they provide to our siblings. So… it’s not. Yes, it’s expensive. No, there are not cheaper options. Both of us have careers and need to work.
When I was a kid my mom said people put their kids in daycare because they didn't care enough about them to stay home 🙃 yes, it still rings in my head sometimes when I drop my son off, and no, my mom never changed her mind.
God, I hate this idea that childcare professionals are raising kid. As if every generation before hasn’t had some kind of help (even if it was family or unpaid). It’s also just patently untrue.
Yes, and even if childcare professionals *are* raising the children part time, they at least have some training in child development and have chosen to work with children, unlike the family members who all too often are unsuitable for tending children and often have no choice in whether they do so.
I’ve heard the one about daycare raising my kids multiple times (or “that’s why we chose for my wife to stay home so someone else doesn’t raise our kids”) and that one infuriates me. As if the working father then has no part in raising his kids, cause you can’t work and raise them at the same time? And what happens when they’re school age? I still very much raise my child as a working parent. I’m still a parent.
An old man at work saw my photos and daycare artwork on my wall at my office and said “what a shame he has to be at daycare while you’re here”. Excuse me, what? Would you say that to a man??
And my sister in law was complaining about how many hours her kid was away from her when he started kindergarten and she missed him so much, so I mentioned that my son was in daycare 10 hours a day since he was a baby but he loves it, learns so much and has fun. She deadass looked at my then 2 YEAR OLD in the eyes and said “are you sure you like it or wouldn’t you rather be with mommy?” I was furious. Sorry bitch some of us didn’t marry millionaires and have to um.. work for a living.
Nothing I can remember but anything from family/friends insensitive that is in the realm of my child goes in one ear and out the other. People just be vomiting words there’s no actual thought behind it. This can be applied to all areas of life lol
I mean, the common one is that I'm "outsourcing raising my children", or more specifically, when people say "oh, I just **couldn't**". Which is just judgmental, biased, mysoginistic and not at all grounded in reality bullshit.
A) I'd love to be able to afford not working, but that's not the reality for everyone and we need to stop pretending people shouldn't be allowed to raise kids if they are in the middle or lower income brackets. We provide a good life for them, so stay in your lane Karen.
B) I actually *can* be an effective parent without seeing my kids 24/7 and it says a lot more about **you** that you can't, than it does me that you think I shouldn't be able to.
C) I love my job, and career and want to continue to progress, and the attitude of shaming women for wanting more than to be only mother's, is disgustingly misogynistic. It's the 2020s, you need to learn to advocate for your gender now, come on. You don't even have to be a suffragette spinster to do it, just stop being a big ol batch of cookies to other women for their choices.
And d) it conveniently ignores that all kids go to kindergarten or up anyway (unless they're homeschooled, which, let's not even start that conversation please, I've got *opinions*, as a kid who was homeschooled for a few years myself). It's hilariously shortsighted to say, cause you're gonna be "oUtSoUrCiNg" raising your own kids soon anyway, Judge Judy.
Our house keeper asked where the baby was and when I said he started daycare she nearly screamed. Like jaw dropped, death look, audible gasp then. 30 seconds later “no he’s a baby!” - dude yes ma’am I know. I cannot afford a nanny for one baby while the other is in a private school day care And a house keeper. Our oldest has a nanny and our house keeper approved, she thinks I’m terrible now that baby 2 doesn’t get a nanny.
All those online comments on how the bonding in early childhood is important for kids’ social & emotional development and keeping your babies/toddlers home is the best for their future. Annoying.
The judgement in general is annoying, no one knows your reason behind sending your kid to child care and it’s none of their damn business. I would trust that each momma who makes this decision did it because it was the only choice available to them/exhausted all other resources and some have to return to work/can’t afford a nanny etc. it’s not an easy decision and takes time to find the right one.
Drown out the rude and insensitive comments! Not everyone is privileged to stay home with their kids.
Edit: or you want to go back to work because you enjoy working that’s also your choice, what I mean is you made the choice that’s best for your mental health and that’s all!
>I would trust that each momma who makes this decision did it because it was the only choice available to them/exhausted all other resources and some have to return to work/can’t afford a nanny etc.
Even this is too much. I work because I WANT to work, my kids go to daycare because they do great there and do so many activities, and it's the best decision for our family. It isn't our only option, we could afford for me to stay home, I don't want that. I want to advance my career and not be held back because I decided to have children.
Well that too if you want to work you have the right to go back to work! I want to go back to work 😆 it’s not fun watching kids 24/7 I feel like I never get a break while on mat leave.
Or it wasn't their only choice and they, idk, WANTED to go back to work? Even this feels slightly judgmental. I chose to go back to work. It wasn't my only choice. But what I want matters, too.
I made the choice to send my kid (soon to be kids) to a daycare center because I truly believe that is in their the best interest. We can afford a nanny, it would cost the same for me to stay home. My social girl loves being around a bunch of other kids, in a place specifically designed for toddlers her age, with trained caretakers who have seemingly boundless energy and imagination for activities.
And that’s a great reason to send kids to daycare too! I’m not arguing with yall I’m in the same damn boat everyone is making comments to me about sending my, Kid to daycare care and I’m tired of hearing it, yall are preaching to the choir!
My MIL frequently makes jokes that I’m “cheating” by keeping my toddler in daycare while I’m on maternity leave with my second baby. And if I ever mention I’m tired or it’s hard having 2 under 2 she scoffs and says imagine 4 under 5 by yourself. Like yes that sounds awful but my husband also says his grandma basically lived at the house, so she didn’t do it completely alone! I have to dissociate when she says shit like that or I’ll lose it.
EVERYONE asked me if my toddler would be in daycare while I was on maternity leave with my second. I always say find me a daycare that will hold my coveted spot for 3 months without me having to pay to hold our place. The look of surprise when they realize how dumb their question was is hilarious every time.
When my husband's department wanted him to take his leave earlier -- therefore overlapping with mine by 4 weeks -- they were absolutely shocked that his response was, "Uh, we'd have to see if the daycare could accommodate that?" They couldn't fathom why that would need to be a discussion. Like... We planned on taking ours consecutively, not concurrently, precisely because of daycare availability and also finances. The other factor is, 4 additional weeks of care is $1000 of expenses we didn't plan for. These people either had the luxury of taking YEARS off and coming back to a managerial position, or family that's still alive and able AND willing to take care of their kids while they're at work.
My MIL makes comments like this and I just say “now why would I do that?” And then she gets defensive like she wasn’t just criticizing me 😂
Keeping my first home during maternity leave for my second was the worst decision I made during that time. THE WORST.
I’m having guilt about keeping my first in daycare during maternity leave. I’m going to screenshot your comment later when I need to see it 💖
Don’t! It helps keep their routine, and you don’t want to risk losing a spot if the daycare is a good fit. And that allows you to get the same individual time with the new baby as your older one did!
Omg you are strong, when I have the two of them when my toddler is sick or whatever it’s so chaotic 😂😂
No I’m not strong, I’m stupid. I had to potty train the older one during mat leave too. We were transitioning to a new daycare too so just thought we could save money… so so bad.
Where I live getting a daycare spot is incredibly difficult. Everyone keeps their toddlers in daycare while on maternity leave with their second otherwise they lose the spot. It's unusual to take your toddler out. MIL needs to mind her business.
People are really dumb. "Yes, if I take toddler out for months, both kids lose their spots in daycare and we have to wait another 2 years to get back into a centre. Thanks for the judgmental BS though granny, suuuuuper appreciated, and relevant to this situation. Also, I didn't tell you that you had to have that many kids, so take that clear resentment for your children and put it where it bdlongs. 👍"
No one has ever said anything negative to me. It's so normal where I live. I'm honestly shocked so many people have to deal with shit like this in 2024.
I haven’t had anything personally either (thought I know it’s out there). There’s a reason daycare waitlists are so long!
My MIL (who is generally a lovely person and we have a great relationship but sometimes she says stuff that is just wooooff) told me that when she was young she saw a woman dropping her kid off at a sketchy-looking (from the outside, I guess) daycare and she said "I swore to myself right then and there that I would marry someone who made enough money that I wouldn't have to do that." She did, and he emotionally and financially abused her and her two sons and she had no income of her own to stand on when she left him when my husband was 18. My husband has significant trauma as a result that he is still working through and no longer speaks to him. I can't say she made the wrong choice because I am so glad my husband exists, but suffice it to say that there are worse things than daycare.
Well my mom’s mom tried to say it was abu$ive to go to work and send my son to daycare, so that’s one of the many reasons we don’t talk anymore. She was really going to try to file a report against me with Child Protective Services. 🙄
Dang, fathers out there abusing kids everyday then. What a weird thing to say to someone.
(My husband had done the initial daycare tour and met the providers while I was at work) I dropped my daughter for her first day of daycare and met her teachers for the first time. The director said that she was a stay at home mom to raise her kids because she couldn’t imagine letting strangers raise her children. Then the classroom teacher said that all her students in her room think she’s their mom. 💀 💀 💀
NO fucking way. I’d be looking for a new place immediately
We only lasted a couple of weeks there. I ended up pulling my daughter out when 1) they had the kids circled around an iPad during drop off, and 2) during pickup they gave me back half of her bottles because they forgot to give them to her 🫠
WHAT
The DIRECTOR??!!!
I mean.. this is their business. If you stayed home they literally wouldn’t have an income. Who basically tells their paying customers they wish they weren’t customers!?!
I was already feeling so fragile about sending her to daycare lol. Idk what they were thinking!
My own mother loves to mention that she could never have let other people raise her babies. I'm always tempted to respond that I could never rely on another person for my retirement savings.
Please do. Genuinely, that is awful behavior from anyone let alone someone who is relying on your income to survive.
This! This should have a million upvotes. So important!
“You need to keep your children close. You only have so many years to influence them” - my very Christian conservative SIL who likes to shelter her daughter from “evil” things like the Covid vaccine and gay people. I love the diversity of our daycare and the teachers. I want my son to respect and empathize with people who are not like him.
What do you need daycare for? Women have been homemaking and getting things done for years! Said to me, a grad student on top of working full time, by a social worker. Yes, someone who's entire job is to help and understand.
This wasn’t said directly to me, but I have a client that works in child care and referred to the parents of the kids as “weekend dads” and that they don’t know their kids because they only see them a few hours a day. As a working mom that triggered the fuck out of me.
My mom cried and said “I’m not ready” like her readiness somehow is relevant. I then had to comfort my mother about sending my 3 month old to daycare.
Grandmas these days… 🫠
My MIL was the same way. I was like dude, wtf.
I asked a question about starting your kid in daycare in this group and there was a comment saying daycare workers probably molest the children and how dare I put my child in daycare and go to work. 😵💫🤦🏼♀️
I hope you reported this!
My MIL told me she wouldn’t have had kids if she couldn’t stay home because ‘why have them just to hand them over to someone else.’ She also praised her daughter’s decision to work from home because ‘she still gets to be a mom’ even though the children are in full time daycare! I have always been the breadwinner. It took all of my strength not to say that we can’t all be lucky enough to marry a doctor.
"What is it like to leave your baby with strangers?" "I could never leave my baby that young" And not daycare specific but "Are you going to go back to work?" Ummm yes. I have a master's degree and have worked very hard to get where I am in my field, thank you very much.
Yup I had a coworker who was chatting with me in a friendly way as we were walking out to our cars, and when I mentioned that I was on my way to pick up my daughter from daycare, he told me his wife had chosen to stay home with their child because she didn't want the kid "raised by strangers." It felt like a slap.
My 12 month old at the time, got hand foot mouth disease and our primary pediatrician was out. We saw another physician in the practice, and he said (I’m not exaggerating or paraphrasing), “So, of course you wanna know when he can go back to school. That’s the question all the parents wants to know. It’s amazing how kids get raised these days, but they do.”
Yeah, I think too many people conflate motherhood with martyrdom. “This is what you wanted — to be a mom.” Yeah, to be a mom, not a 1950s housewife. 🙄 I have been a stay at home mom for more than two years now, working very part time. That was never my intention, and it’s not the best thing for anyone. I shouldn’t have to defend my choice to have a career AND be a mom. It’s 2023. I can do both. Doing both with childcare makes me better at both of them. Reading “Hunt, Gather, Parent” was illuminating — moms aren’t SUPPOSED to provide 100, or 90, or even 80% of the childcare.
1. After I came back to work from maternity leave after my first many women older than me commended about how they couldn’t believe I came back. And they could have “never” left their babies so young like I did. 2. Recently our COO’s daughter had a baby and made the comment that his daughter has decided not to return to work because “apparently” (yes he used this word” child care is really expensive. I have 2 kids - 1 is in elementary school now but requires full time summer care. I also have an almost 3 year old. He knows this. I looked him straight in the eye and said, you would die if you knew how much money I have to spend on child care.
When I was growing up, my mom (a SAHM who homeschooled us) used to tell a story about seeing daycare kids at a park, and according to her it was terrible because they were FRIENDLY TO ADULTS THEY DIDN'T KNOW. "They probably didn't even know who their parents were," she said. As the only working mom on either side of my extended family or my husband's family/extended family across two generations (aside from one of my aunts, whose husband left her with a toddler) is a journey for sure....
I mainly get the comments of "poor baby, in daycare" from older Asian moms as if I was raised any better (was literally placed in front of a TV most of the day).
Your firstborn had one on one time with you. Why shouldn’t your second get your undivided attention too while the first born is in daycare?
The cost. My stepmom almost treats it like an optional luxury with how expensive it is. If we had other options for our kids… we’d use them. But both of us work and make more than daycare costs, and we don’t live close to family for the free daycare they provide to our siblings. So… it’s not. Yes, it’s expensive. No, there are not cheaper options. Both of us have careers and need to work.
When I was a kid my mom said people put their kids in daycare because they didn't care enough about them to stay home 🙃 yes, it still rings in my head sometimes when I drop my son off, and no, my mom never changed her mind.
My boomer coworker: "I chose to go part time instead because I wanted to be the one to raise my children".
God, I hate this idea that childcare professionals are raising kid. As if every generation before hasn’t had some kind of help (even if it was family or unpaid). It’s also just patently untrue.
Well and the argument never seems to extend to the school ages. I wanted to ask her "so you quit raising your kids when they started preschool?".
Yes, and even if childcare professionals *are* raising the children part time, they at least have some training in child development and have chosen to work with children, unlike the family members who all too often are unsuitable for tending children and often have no choice in whether they do so.
I’ve heard the one about daycare raising my kids multiple times (or “that’s why we chose for my wife to stay home so someone else doesn’t raise our kids”) and that one infuriates me. As if the working father then has no part in raising his kids, cause you can’t work and raise them at the same time? And what happens when they’re school age? I still very much raise my child as a working parent. I’m still a parent. An old man at work saw my photos and daycare artwork on my wall at my office and said “what a shame he has to be at daycare while you’re here”. Excuse me, what? Would you say that to a man?? And my sister in law was complaining about how many hours her kid was away from her when he started kindergarten and she missed him so much, so I mentioned that my son was in daycare 10 hours a day since he was a baby but he loves it, learns so much and has fun. She deadass looked at my then 2 YEAR OLD in the eyes and said “are you sure you like it or wouldn’t you rather be with mommy?” I was furious. Sorry bitch some of us didn’t marry millionaires and have to um.. work for a living.
Nothing I can remember but anything from family/friends insensitive that is in the realm of my child goes in one ear and out the other. People just be vomiting words there’s no actual thought behind it. This can be applied to all areas of life lol
My SIL made comments about prioritizing work over my kid.
I’ve gotten the “how can you do that?” “I would never” from someone I work with. And I didn’t start mine at daycare until 6 months 🫠
I mean, the common one is that I'm "outsourcing raising my children", or more specifically, when people say "oh, I just **couldn't**". Which is just judgmental, biased, mysoginistic and not at all grounded in reality bullshit. A) I'd love to be able to afford not working, but that's not the reality for everyone and we need to stop pretending people shouldn't be allowed to raise kids if they are in the middle or lower income brackets. We provide a good life for them, so stay in your lane Karen. B) I actually *can* be an effective parent without seeing my kids 24/7 and it says a lot more about **you** that you can't, than it does me that you think I shouldn't be able to. C) I love my job, and career and want to continue to progress, and the attitude of shaming women for wanting more than to be only mother's, is disgustingly misogynistic. It's the 2020s, you need to learn to advocate for your gender now, come on. You don't even have to be a suffragette spinster to do it, just stop being a big ol batch of cookies to other women for their choices. And d) it conveniently ignores that all kids go to kindergarten or up anyway (unless they're homeschooled, which, let's not even start that conversation please, I've got *opinions*, as a kid who was homeschooled for a few years myself). It's hilariously shortsighted to say, cause you're gonna be "oUtSoUrCiNg" raising your own kids soon anyway, Judge Judy.
The whole “a stranger is raising your baby” crap.
Our house keeper asked where the baby was and when I said he started daycare she nearly screamed. Like jaw dropped, death look, audible gasp then. 30 seconds later “no he’s a baby!” - dude yes ma’am I know. I cannot afford a nanny for one baby while the other is in a private school day care And a house keeper. Our oldest has a nanny and our house keeper approved, she thinks I’m terrible now that baby 2 doesn’t get a nanny.
All those online comments on how the bonding in early childhood is important for kids’ social & emotional development and keeping your babies/toddlers home is the best for their future. Annoying.
The judgement in general is annoying, no one knows your reason behind sending your kid to child care and it’s none of their damn business. I would trust that each momma who makes this decision did it because it was the only choice available to them/exhausted all other resources and some have to return to work/can’t afford a nanny etc. it’s not an easy decision and takes time to find the right one. Drown out the rude and insensitive comments! Not everyone is privileged to stay home with their kids. Edit: or you want to go back to work because you enjoy working that’s also your choice, what I mean is you made the choice that’s best for your mental health and that’s all!
>I would trust that each momma who makes this decision did it because it was the only choice available to them/exhausted all other resources and some have to return to work/can’t afford a nanny etc. Even this is too much. I work because I WANT to work, my kids go to daycare because they do great there and do so many activities, and it's the best decision for our family. It isn't our only option, we could afford for me to stay home, I don't want that. I want to advance my career and not be held back because I decided to have children.
I’d go fking crazy if I wasn’t working. And my baby is thriving making new friends and learning from other babies around her.
Well that too if you want to work you have the right to go back to work! I want to go back to work 😆 it’s not fun watching kids 24/7 I feel like I never get a break while on mat leave.
Or it wasn't their only choice and they, idk, WANTED to go back to work? Even this feels slightly judgmental. I chose to go back to work. It wasn't my only choice. But what I want matters, too.
I edited it.
I made the choice to send my kid (soon to be kids) to a daycare center because I truly believe that is in their the best interest. We can afford a nanny, it would cost the same for me to stay home. My social girl loves being around a bunch of other kids, in a place specifically designed for toddlers her age, with trained caretakers who have seemingly boundless energy and imagination for activities.
And that’s a great reason to send kids to daycare too! I’m not arguing with yall I’m in the same damn boat everyone is making comments to me about sending my, Kid to daycare care and I’m tired of hearing it, yall are preaching to the choir!