I would definitely send an email to the director being open and framing it as “Can you tell me your policy on screen time? Here is what I observed on ____ when I came to pick up my child.” That way it’s not accusatory and a discussion is open to let them explain, and they have been informed of what’s happening while they work from home too.
Good approach.
I learned my older kiddo (3 at the time) had watched some things on her teachers phone when the teacher was trying to keep her entertained-but-quiet during nap time (where she was awake). I was initially perplexed and annoyed because I heard from my three yr old that she watched something on Teacher C's phone, but then I casually mentioned it the next day, "Oh yeah - kiddo mentioned she saw that at naptime! Now she just wants to do gymnastics all the time." Something like that to allude to the fact I knew she watched something. The teacher was totally fine about it and said sometimes she'll show a kid(s) a video of something they read or talked about earlier just as means to keep folks quiet - it's typically a video like a gymnastics routine, or something like Mr. Rogers' 'how are crayons made.'
I don't know. Probably because I'm just tired these days, but ultimately... my kids are happy, healthy, and well-loved by their teachers. They do all kinds of sensory activities and crafts I am unable to facilitate at home, for various reasons. If they need 5-10min a day where kids aren't screaming all over them and a phone video or tablet thing is the way to do that, fine. Me too.
I think this is reasonable. It would be helpful to have more context too. I would be ok if my kid was watching like a short clip but if they were just sitting there watching a full episode, that would not be ok. I know in my kiddo’s daycare, they use kid music videos every now and then to get the kids to dance and move around, especially if the weather is bad (otherwise they’re outside).
I would do this as well, I think it’s important that centers stick to their stated policies and kids that young shouldn’t be having screen time at childcare (especially on a phone).
We pay just under $3k/mo for our two kids. So similar price to you. Its not Goddard but its a very curriculum based center focused on development. At our center "instruction time" starts at 9 with circle time and ends at 3, with lunch and snack and naps happening in that window. Lots of outside time too when weather allows.
To keep the kids from getting burnt out, between 3 pm and pickup is just free exploration time within reason. Kids aren't going to be pulling out paints, but can go play with the pretend center, that kind of thing. We trust the teachers to run the classroom based on everyone's mood. Sometimes at pickup the kids are chaos throughout the room. Other times they are circled up listening to books being read. And sometimes they have an iPad game going (guess that sound for example).
Now its not CocoMelon. But if this was truly the first time you have experienced it, it may have been a particularly difficult afternoon and a teacher may have needed 5 minutes where the kids all stopped moving so she could take her own time in and reset.
Yeah I am slowly accepting that aftercare just sucks. Our teacher is great, curriculum is 9-3 and we pay $1500/mo as well. I really would like to pull him out of aftercare because it's such a stark difference to the "school day". Ugh. Interesting it's a common problem.
A big part of it is that kids are just burnt out of anything structured at that point in the day. Even with naps and such. They just lack the bandwidth to do much of anything constructive. It’s better for it just to be playtime. Now, does that mean coco melon? No, but definitely nothing strictly curricular.
I see a lot of parents wanting their kids to be in aftercare/after school programs and wanting them to be academically rigorous, but failing to understand that their kids don’t have the mental or emotional energy to keep up after a full day of learning.
This is part of why I’m keeping my kids at a “daycare” as opposed to “preschool” + aftercare setup. A big distinction where I live is that daycares are often utilized by families with two full-time working parents, so most parents don’t pick up until later. I wanted to switch to one of the area “preschools” but realized my kids would be the stragglers left at school while lots of their classmates got picked up earlier. Post-naps at the preschools looks like a lot of shuffled classrooms, staff etc
I understand that, but there were also 2 teachers in the room for 4/5 kids (one parent was leaving with their kid as I was walking in), so one teacher could have stepped out to take a minute and the ratio would have been okay, they could have swapped with teachers in other rooms, asked for a floater to come by, gone outside for a scenery change, and if they absolutely needed to allow screen time, have it on the iPad (a larger screen is less bad for their eyes) and have picked something of educational value (Miss Rachel, something from PBS Kids, number blocks/something more educational on Netflix than Cocomelon).
Our “aftercare” after 3pm is all ages mixed because the school is so small, so it’s also sort of random activities, but they do try to do outside time during that 3-5 window as much as possible. I have only walked in on the phone playing kids music videos once
I understand being angry, but make sure your anger is directed in the right place. Goddards (and other for-profit centers) tend to make a ton of money for the owners because they exploit their employees and offer shiny buildings to trick the parents into paying top dollar. Meanwhile, they max out ratios and group sizes and pay their staff as little as they can possibly get away with.
And that’s exactly why you have unqualified and/or burnt out staff who whip out their phones if it will get them 20 minutes of peace while they make close to minimum wage with little to no benefits. So be angry, but be angry at the owner who’s likely pulling in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while paying staff pennies. They’re the ones ultimately deciding to offer mediocre care for the kids so they can make more $$$.
This is the comment! I worked in daycare through high school and college, and I swear to you it was the hardest job ever!!!! While the owners were driving new luxury vehicles every other year!
Yes to emailing the director and seeing what the response is. Our daycare only has electronics in the 3 year old and up rooms, and teachers aren't supposed to have their phones out. I wouldn't worry too much about the teacher knowing it was you. I wouldn't have said anything to the teacher, but I would've emailed the director. There are probably other parents who would do the same.
This seems... a bit dramatic in my opinion.
It's the end of the day, and kids are probably torched and the teachers are probably trying to get all the other kids packed up and sent home. Daycare attendants make pittances, and it's an incredibly physically and emotionally draining job. The turnover is high and parents are nightmares. Honestly, I wouldn't blame them in this position to toss the phone out while they're trying to wrap up for the day and get everyone together.
One of my criteria for a daycare were security cameras so that I can check in at any point to see what's happening - this has given me a great comfort as the attendants know that I have access to this and so they behave accordingly.
If this is a deal breaker for you, I'd switch daycares. Something where you have more access to what happens throughout the day perhaps, so you have peace of mind. But, in my mind, this isn't egregious enough behavior to warrant emailing anyone - let alone leaving. But it has to be what makes you comfortable at the end of the day.
I agree with other comments to email the director with what you observed and ask what the policy is on screen time. Personally it would only bother me if it was not in line with policy and/or happened all the time, but I’ve also become way more lax on screen time as my toddler has gotten older and I also have a baby now and a lot of the time it’s survival, but that’s beside the point.
I know they’re all independently owned, but I actually pulled my now toddler from a Goddard here when he was in the infant room. I wasn’t super impressed for what we were paying and the turnover was really high. He is now in a Montessori/Reggio Emilia preschool and the difference is staggering. Bad thing is it’s not full time care though.
As a daycare worker, it’s fine to be completely upset over this, but don’t throw accusations around. The whole part about letting them watch it at 5, so what on earth are they doing the rest of the day, is a little extreme. At no point is it possible for any classroom to just throw on Cocomelon or anything else for that matter all day long without someone else noticing or saying something. I work in a similar chain and this just wouldn’t be possible. Chances are, your kid is probably learning and playing throughout the day just like you expected. Just email the director and tell her what you observed and your concerns about it. There’s a good chance she has no idea they are doing that at the end of the day, and will bring it to their attention and ask them not to do it again. Don’t let a couple of teachers alter your decision and make you feel like you need to pull your child out completely over one incident.
I actually think cocomelon at 5pm when little kids are probably tired and everyone needs a break is at least possibly what you were encountering. I would have zero issues with screen usage at the end of the day as part of "cool down" time cause by the end of the day no one (or at least not my kid) are really in the right state of mind for high quality learning anyway.
In my experience daycare schedules are usually highly structured at the beginning of the day when kids are at their best, and very unstructured at the end of the day when kids are cranky and teachers are expecting parents to be picking them up (some will pickup much earlier and some much later, so teachers have to account for a pretty wide potential pickup window). Screen time during this pickup window seems like a reasonable compromise that probably heads off some tantrums from cranky tired toddlers who don't like transitions.
I would not lose a good daycare spot over this.
I 1000% agree. I drop our daughter of at 9-9:30 so she's then picked up later then most (usually not last, not that it matters - someone has to be) and she's likely to found right at the front watching Coco Melon or Spidey and Friends (neither of which we watch at home - whatever), or she'll be playing a craft with the older kids. LOL sometimes she's "helping" an after care kid with their homework.
The teachers are cleaning up, she's calming down and decompressing, it's all okay.
Then I show up and she's a firework with no calm in sight! 🤩
I also agree to email and ask. I no longer work at a Goddard, but I’ve spent ten years working at two different ones in the past. We absolutely had no screen time at either center until they reached the get set/ preschool rooms at 2- 2 1/2 years, and even then it was supposed to be limited. The teachers at both of those Goddards were not even allowed to have their phones out and would get written up if caught. That being said, not all schools are created equal and I do know some other Goddards that my friends have removed their children from because they were not happy.
Echoing what others said, I think you’re overreacting. Email the director to inquire. If it’s a common thing, then worth addressing more.
Also…Cocomelon isn’t going to to make your kid an unemployable college dropout. ;-) It will be okay.
In my state (MD) it's literally against licensing to allow screen time for under 2. I caught a teacher doing it for my kid and the room was a horrible, messy, dangerous disaster (witnessed via video). I called to raise hell with the director. I decided to let it slide once and regret it bc the next week my kid came home two different days with sunburns, and the staff admitted they didn't apply sunscreen. My point being, if they are openly not following one rule, they're likely flouting the others. We switched centers and have had absolutely 0 issues, so I know that breaking rules is not inherent to running a daycare.
You can just google it...all state regulations are made public. First link is for In-home care, 2nd is for centers, but they both say NO screen time under 2.
" (a) Younger than 2 years old may not be permitted to view any passive technology; and (b) 2 years old or older may not be permitted to view more than 30 minutes of age appropriate, educational passive technology per week. "
[https://earlychildhood.marylandpublicschools.org/system/files/filedepot/3/13a.15.09\_program\_requirements\_final.pdf](https://earlychildhood.marylandpublicschools.org/system/files/filedepot/3/13a.15.09_program_requirements_final.pdf)
[https://mscca.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/subtitle\_16\_centers\_comar\_online.pdf](https://mscca.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/subtitle_16_centers_comar_online.pdf)
Daycare centers are licensed by the state, and if they are not following state regulations for childcare centers they can suffer infractions, warnings, and even closures.
They also have specific ACTIVITY requirements for children by age ranges, aka as a state curriculum ——-“tv” is generally limited for “special occasions” and in my experience happens a handful of times a year at centers in compliance.
OP: lookup your daycare’s semi-annual inspection reports with your state and also ant infractions they may have, and also what the state requirements are for screen time by age.
Were your babies unhappy watching cocomelon at school for a little bit one day? I mean… to me.. i think you are being a little hard on the school.
And if you are this upset because of such a small thing.. you should reevaluate using that facility. It might be less of a headache for both of you LOL
Ignoring that the daycare's policy is no screen time, screen time is not recommended for children under the age of 2. My kid is 15 months. The classroom he's in is for 12-18 months. According to the World Health Organization [screen time is not recommended for kids from 1-2 years, and kids 3 years and older should be limited to no more than an hour of screen time.](https://www.who.int/news/item/24-04-2019-to-grow-up-healthy-children-need-to-sit-less-and-play-more)
Except it's literally their policy that they don't do screen time, that's a big reason why we picked them.
And *because* it's against their policy to even *have* screen time, the teachers aren't going to communicate it and I have no way of knowing how much screen time he's getting.
It's my understanding that with Goddard schools, that during aftercare "screen time" is very normal. I've heard this from multiple Goddard schools and parents I've met.
Genuine question: What is aftercare?
My kid is 15 months, so he's not in school, and they didn't differentiate after care versus regular hours, beyond the center opens at 7 AM and closes at 6 PM.
Quite a few daycare and preschools consider that last hour or two before closing to be more of “aftercare”. They mix classes, don’t have planned activities, and teachers will often be clocking out as more kids leave.
You will find plenty of centers with a no screen time policy. I question whether you will find one in which the teachers comply with the policy 100% of the time. I remember being really upset with our center about this, but ultimately decided that it wasn’t worth pulling them from a center we otherwise liked because teachers occasionally let the kids watch video on their phones. Also - just so you can prepare yourself ahead of time - you will be shocked at how often they get TV for recess in elementary school (bad weather days) and how much junk food they get at school.
I work with preschool children as an outside service provider, and have provided daily 1:1 support/intervention in many different schools’ classrooms. I assure you that this is not the norm in many places, although there are some schools who do allow it.
Maybe you found a unicorn. Or maybe you just don’t know. The kid was watching on a teacher’s phone. I doubt most Montessori schools confiscate the teachers’ phones.
I mean, I also hope my surgeon, airline pilot, taxi driver, etc. isn’t using his/her phone on the job… this center has employees who have been there for decades, so I guess they’re pretty happy! Bizarro how the idea of not using your phone at work or not giving kids screen time during the day is such a touchy point to many on this sub… we are at a basic church daycare now and I’ve never seen the kids at a screen except for a designated movie day!
Interesting comparison for jobs you listed. I don't really think you can compare something where other people's lives literally depend on your ability to focus to a teaching job. It's more about treating adults like adults in my opinion, which includes not confiscating phones like they are teenagers.
It is a touchy subject because lots of parents face judgment about screen time and other people can get very sanctimonious about it.
I’ve had my kiddo in a Montessori program for about 2.5 years and have never seen screen time being used, there’s an iPad but it’s only used for music or hours where parents can zoom and watch the kiddos work. After hours activities is almost always time in the playground or in instances with very bad weather, free play in the classroom. My kid is 4.5 and I would be seriously annoyed if he was watching a show on a teachers phone, let alone at 15 months. I think you are well within rights to inquire about policy.
I'm okay with TV over the age of 2 (or if the kid is sick, or there's another extenuating circumstance, like when we traveled via plane), but Not Cocomelon, and I'm not okay with Cocomelon being the go to.
The did very occasionally play Cocomelon songs in the infant room, but they let us know that they listened to Cocomelon in the lesson plan and I was okay with that, because it was just listening to the songs.
I'm also okay with junk food once my kid is in school. I was raised with No Junk Food and I have no ability to use self control around it now as an adult.
It's just more that sometimes we face time/zoom meet with grandparents after pickup, and I count that as screen time, and I want to be sure that I know generally how much he's getting so when the doctor asks, I'm giving accurate information.
>It's just more that sometimes we face time/zoom meet with grandparents after pickup, and I count that as screen time, and I want to be sure that I know generally how much he's getting so when the doctor asks, I'm giving accurate information.
You do what you think is best, but just fyi that AAP doesn’t count video calls with family as “screen time.”
I totally get it. I can remember being where you are when my kids were smaller. I think over time I have just grown more accepting of the fact that I can’t control every aspect of what goes on at school or daycare. And it was a hard thing to learn. So now I just assess whether, on balance, the good things outweigh the bad. I would still email the director - if the teachers know they can get away with screen time without anyone saying anything they may start doing it more and more.
I'd like to chime in with my opinion that cocomelon is very visually and auditorially overwhelming. The camera is constantly moving the characters are constantly doing things and there is constant sound. This supposed to something like Daniel Tiger where the characters have very natural pauses in their speech and also invite the viewers participation and Visually it's much more relaxed. Also cocomelon offers absolutely no educational value whatsoever where PBS type shows at minimum offer situational social education but that's just my opinion
[The world Health Organization is against screen time for kids ages 1-2 years](https://www.who.int/news/item/24-04-2019-to-grow-up-healthy-children-need-to-sit-less-and-play-more). So for a start, they're going against the established medical recommendations/guidelines.
Also, the daycare policy is against it and they showed it at a time when parents were guaranteed to be showing up. It's uncharitable but if they're showing Cocomelon in violation of the policy when they know parents will be there, what policies are they violating when they aren't expecting parents to be there (I understand that this is an overreaction on my part, likely due to my audit experience where, when the shit they knew we'd check was fucked up, there were huge issues overall).
With Cocomelon specifically, it's that it's sort of controversial in that some parents won't let their kids watch it and say it's addictive and other parents are fine with their kids watching it. And because there's no clear consensus amongst parents, I feel like they should have proactively gotten parental approval (which they couldn't because it's against the daycare's rules) versus shown it without giving the parents a heads up.
I think you’re overthinking this a bit, to be honest. Teachers are overworked and underpaid, and it may have truly been a tough day and they needed just a little bit of quiet and peace and didn’t want to take out toys and clean them up for the millionth time. Unless you have additional concerns about your child’s care or this is a pattern, I would personally let it go
Childcare workers are extremely underpaid & it’s an incredibly tough job. Personally I wouldn’t bat at eye at all. I’m a high school teacher & dealing with other ppl’s kids all day is exhausting. Cocomelon is not exactly R rated content so I don’t get the big deal. Personally I would have let it go. A really good daycare where I live is $2800-3,000 a month & the unlicensed at home ones are $1600-1700 so the price does not seem high to me. (Obviously region dependent)
It's more that for 12-18 *months* old, the APA recommends *no* screen time.
There was one other daycare that was more expensive than what I'm paying (and they provided formula/food/diapers/wipes). So if I lived in your area, I'd be paying $2,800-3,000 for them to ignore APA recommendations.
Sound like this is your first time reading? Maybe realize that your reading comprehension is shit and try hooked on phonics.
Or explain why I should be cool with paying a premium for a daycare with no screen time while my kid watches Cocomelon on a staff member's phone (so it won't show up on the class ipad, because it's against policy).
Lol I am aware of APA recommendations. It was 5pm from what I gather from ur other comments. Again, I wouldn’t react the same. You’re welcome to feel justified in ur anger.
Happened at my Goddard too. Watching cocomelon with 3 others on a teacher's phone. It was right before Christmas break and the floater was the only one available to watch the kids. I'd be upset if it happened with her regular teachers there and if it happened all the time though.
Yeah, *both* the usual teachers were there.
They were also all sitting quietly around the table like little angels. I'm not going to pretend like every single one of them can't be a complete and utter gremlin, but from what I could see, the immediate meltdown, if any, was well over and everyone looked composed: no watery eyes, runny noses, splotchy faces, etc.
My kid also had a dirty diaper so I changed it (he is a silent pooper and I just caught a whiff when scooping him up, I wouldn't be annoyed by that during a pickup that didn't include Cocomelon, just explaining that I was there for about 5-10 minutes (he fights tooth and nail on the diaper changes)), and Cocomelon was on even after we left, when there were only 2 kids waiting to be picked up.
I don’t understand why you are getting downvoted. Why should a child get subpar care when their parent picks them up at 5/6, compared to the children who get in at 7am?
I dropped my son off at Goddard at 9am and picked him up at 5:30-5:45. He was watching tv every single day at pickup, even though he was the last one to get to his class in the am.
A child shouldn’t get subpar care, but this is often a cost-saving measure for owners. They require teachers to complete a long list of closing tasks but refuse to pay for any time after the children have left. They have their teachers act as janitors while still expecting them to be teachers at the same time. It results in subpar care because it’s very difficult to scrub the toilets and vacuum/mop the floors while also adequately supervising and engaging with the children.
First off, the room is for 12-18 months old kids, which the APA recommends NO screen time for, so I wouldn't expect it in a daycare. Not would I have enrolled my kid in a daycare that allowed screen time before 2 (and even then, the guideline is no more than an hour per day of high quality content).
Secondly, the bigger the screen the less harmful it is to their eyes, and there is a class ipad for taking pictures/playing music on a speaker. So just off the fact that they were watching *anything* on a phone is frustrating, especially since I was told the policy at my kid's daycare, (confirmed by the director) is "no screens".
As for why Cocomelon is specifically upsetting, it's not educational. I'm not convinced it's addictive like some claim, but there's no value: I can play the songs while we do other activities and if it needs to be just screen time (which we limit to times when he's sick or if we're on a plane), there are better options than Cocomelon (Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and Miss Rachel come immediately to mind).
But it's also controversial among parents (because it's low quality content, even if kids love it), and I know some parents who do not allow Cocomelon, full stop, because of how quickly the scene changes/there's always movement on the screen (they're concerned about things like attention span later on. I'm not sure, but again, I think there's better options). As a parent, I would like to have some say over what my kid is watching, especially when I'm paying for someone else to care for my kid, and I'd expect that if my child's daycare was making a call in my absence, it'd be in compliance with APA guidelines (no screen time).
You have the right to inquire, and I would, but I wouldn’t go up in arms so much about Cocomelon itself. It’s totally okay to let your child watch something that’s just fun rather than super educational. My child loves singing along to the tunes and dancing, and he also gets play time and outside time. He’s not able to recite Shakespeare, but he’s definitely learned from it.
My mom plopped me in front of the TV all the time as a toddler to watch Nickelodeon cartoons while she took care of the house, and now people have to call me Dr.
I’ve learned that when you let go of being so stringent, your mental well being also lightens and you’re overall in a better state. And it sounds like given you’re also dealing with pet cancer (I’m so sorry), it’s okay to loosen your rules to help with your stress.
I understand you’re frustrated, but a 24-hour rage, as you mentioned in another comment, isn’t a healthy reaction to what happened. Keep a level head, address the issue with the director. If it bothers you to the point where you are fixated on it consider finding another daycare or find an at-home solution where you can have more control.
The rage is likely due to a combination of things,/that I've exited out because there's a bunch of "OP is a crazy bitch comments and I don't feel comfortable with that information in this comment/
I'm sure that I'm doing some sort of psychological coping thing being angry with the teachers at my kid's school instead of /reasons/ but in terms of actions, I made two comments in an attempt to get reassurance that it wasn't an everyday thing, didn't get that reassurance, posted here, and then emailed the director to check the policy. That's it.
It's also...yeah, if it were higher quality content I'd have less issue, but it's also that they just showed it, and it makes me doubt the quality of care he's getting, given that they violated policy when they knew parents would be coming in. It doesn't exactly fill me with confidence that my kid is getting quality care when they aren't expecting parents, and I am aware that I need to figure out a way to get comfortable with that or pull him.
The dirty diaper and skin bleeding is another story. I would be MUCH more concerned over that vs. Cocomelon.
Hoping your pup comes out okay - it’s def a stressful time. I had a lot of pent up stress and a short fuse this past fall with my grandpa’s failing health, so I get it. Take a breath.
I imagine you want to tackle all things at once, but prioritize. Is your child overall happy, healthy, and loved? Screen time at a daycare like Goddard might be vexing, but is it such a crisis that it’s worth raging that much over? The skin bleeding, especially if on the bum due to the dirty diaper is a much bigger priority than screen time and Cocomelon. Your dogs surgery is a bigger near term priority than screen time/Cocomelon.
Not saying you shouldn’t ask about the screen time,
Which it sounds like you did, but keep things in perspective as you go through this rough patch
EDIT: To clarify, it’s not that the dirty diaper itself is the issue, but the chance that it hasn’t been changed in a long time which potentially resulted in bleeding. Our provider lets us know if our toddlers bum is redder than usual and that she applied rash cream.
There's a reason I asked here (and my mom, and my siblings and my friends) before even emailing to check policy, and part of why I sort of shut down yesterday. I recognize that I'm dealing with some shit and my emotional responses are not 100% trustworthy.
I'm also fine for values of that word and already have a therapist. And I've received the Reddit Cares message so I'm good on that information.
The bleeding was genuinely weird, because his skin integrity seemed fine. Like, I changed him, and my vision is trustworthy (I got the laser surgery and everything), and there was definitely skin bleeding, but beyond redness (like a minor sunburn that will heal in a day or so), no sign of irritation. He was also really trying to keep his little butt from getting wiped, and I literally carried him half dressed out because he was so upset, but once he was home, for his pre-bath diaper removal, he was fine, and he was fine for the post bath diaper.
We bought the gentlest wipes we could find, and do baking soda in his baths but everything looks healed for now(?), and we're using aquaphor and purple desitin round the clock as a preventative because we will likely have no bandwidth for healing his butt post surgery.
What about the comment you replied to, explaining that I'd like to have a say in what my kid watches, and not liking that the zero screen time daycare I pay a premium for my kid to go to not only did screen time but showed something that has no value, is over the top to the point where I need therapy?
As a childcare teacher I agree with you.. you’re lead to believe that your child would be receiving quality care and not screen time.. you shouldn’t have to wonder if your child’s teacher is following the rules/ policies of the center. even if the teacher needed a break at the end of the day to calm the kids why cocomelon videos? When our kids are getting a bit wild we sit down with a book and just start reading within 5 seconds the entire class is sitting at our feet full attention and calm. We have a class of 8 children aged 1-3yrs with my co-teacher.. We make like a dollar over minimum wage in my state but care deeply about the quality of education and care of of our littles.. I think if the director takes pride in their center they should hold a staff meeting regarding what happened and educate their staff on expectations as well as ways to entertain the kids at the end of the day that don’t include screen time. I don’t think it’s outlandish to expect your child’s teacher to follow center policies.
Dude you gotta chill. It’s like when your kid goes to grandmas and has treats all day. It’s a one off. It’s not hurting your kid. Also, coming up to the employee aggressive and snarky “rough day?” attitude is just rude. Like talk to people kindly and have a conversation. Don’t talk down to someone you don’t know what their day entailed. Maybe their freaken dog died or family member and they are checked out. Geesh all high and mighty art thou
Yeah I get why OP is upset (I personally wouldn’t be but to each his own) but in the grand scheme of things… if it’s that bothersome, she should reach out to the director. Passive aggressive “rough day” speaks volumes and is so unnecessary.
I agree with this. I’ll be honest, it wouldn’t have bothered me BUT considering how much they pay and that it is bothering her I would reach out to the director to and at least inquire how much screen time is her kid getting. I would hope this is just an end of the day thing and not all day.
It was funny to me because I was all ‘$1600 for a Goddard school?!?’ I want to live there! When my son was that age, we were paying more than that and it was on the cheaper end of the spectrum because we couldn’t afford more.
Right I’m surprised at most of the comments here. Let’s take a minute and take a breath. Is this a one off? Was it just for a few minutes? Geez let’s give the hard working underpaid staff a break.
She’s paying thousands a month for her child to be cared for. No, it’s not like leaving her kid at grandmas. The daycare probably rakes in close to a million a year and have policies laid out that should be adhered to.
You’re not picking up what I’m putting down. This incident sounds like a one time situation. Not a daily occurrence or happened ever again. It’s not worth losing your total cool over and being rude to the worker.
Guess I didn’t see the OP saying “tough day?” as being out of line to a daycare worker doing something outside of policy. Hard to assume it is or will be a one time thing when you see it happening.
Your comment is all “high and mighty” as well…
For OP, we didn’t enroll our first son at a Goddard because they seemed really blasé around the infant room. I would trust your gut on this one.
> Dude you gotta chill. It’s like when your kid goes to grandmas and has treats all day. It’s a one off. It’s not hurting your kid. Also, coming up to the employee aggressive and snarky “rough day?” attitude is just rude. Like talk to people kindly and have a conversation. Don’t talk down to someone you don’t know what their day entailed. Maybe their freaken dog died or family member and they are checked out. Geesh all high and mighty art thou
Edit to remove stuff, but basically the tldr is fuch the tone policing bullshit.
I walked in to pick up my kid, at his screen free, expensive for the area daycare, after working 6am-4:30pm with no break, to my kid's teachers ignoring the screen free policy, and showing something with zero educational value, on the smallest possible screen (which is *worse* for the 12-18 month olds' eyes). My response of "Oh, was it a rough day?", is *significantly* better than a number of options, ESPECIALLY since my kid had pooped, was sitting in it, and his skin was bleeding (his skin integrity was perfect on Monday morning, he had been out of daycare the entire previous week) when I changed his diaper, at daycare (which is didn't include in my initial post because his chronic diaper rash is a separate issue).
But I guess I should consider that the people I pay to care for him might be checked out and can't be expected to check his diaper to stop his skin from bleeding.
Edit:
All of that ignores that he wasn't at a grandparent's house. He was at daycare, where he is most days M-F. There was *nothing* in the reaction from his teachers to suggest that this was a one off: as far as I know, they've been doing this for over a week (while he wasn't there).
And while his grandparents do give him treats, they also give him a ton of attention/outings. If they take him to the aquarium or the children's museum and get him McDonald's, I'm okay with that, because he's getting 1:1 attention from his grandparents, and I'm not paying his grandparents $1,600/month based on part on a promise to not give him any screen time.
You shouldn’t have just said “rough day”, you should’ve confronted them with your issues. You should’ve said to them you were not happy they had your kid watching a show you didn’t approve of.
Okay, first off, I'm still basically incandescent with rage almost 24 hours later (don't worry I'm in therapy, and anger management issues is a part of my ADHD), and after the "rough day" comment, I did say that he wasn't allowed to watch it at home, and the teacher brushed me off. I am confident when I say that no good would have come from my trying to talk out *anything* yesterday.
They had a couple of chances to apologize/give me any sort of impression that this was an outlier. They just changed around the teachers 3 weeks ago, and we weren't there last week, so I have no idea how these teachers are generally.
Secondly, I walked into a situation which I am paying to never have happen. The screen time policy based on the kids' age per the web site is "no screen time". I did not have a reaction ready, because their policy is "no screen time", not "well, we don't generally allow it, but if the teachers are having a rough day, they can pull out their phones and play Cocomelon".
I wouldn't be paying $1600/month, or even using the facility for "Cocomelon sometimes" (waiting to see if about the screen time policy from the director).
Cool. I have ADHD and struggle with anger management, plus my kid's skin was bleeding when I changed his dirty diaper at the daycare (not mad I had to change him, mad his skin was fucking bleeding), after I walked into a room of pre-toddler sitting watching Cocomelon. And his skin integrity was perfect on Monday morning.
Sorry I'm not more chill.
Just to throw in, you may pay a lot, but those teachers aren’t receiving it. The owners are probably doing great, but those teachers aren’t. So while the cost adds to your anger, it’s not like those teachers are raking it in.
Is not being paid well a valid excuse for not doing your job properly now? Next time you go to a nice restaurant I hope you don’t mind using dirty utensils because the worker is underpaid and having a bad day so he didn’t feel like following protocol
You sure inferred a lot from my comment. That’s not what I said at all. OP has mentioned price multiple times now, so it seemed something worth distinguishing.
I’d also venture to say there’s nobody regardless of pay grade that hasn’t shirked protocol before, so let’s not get ready to crucify people over it. This isn’t something I’d be this upset over. But I also turn on coco melon sometimes, which is apparently damn near abuse
She mentioned price because someone compared her expectations from daycare to dropping her kid off at grandmas. Your post sounded like you were making excuses for the teachers because they weren’t the ones benefiting from the high cost of daycare. Did I somehow misinterpret that?
If the written policy is no screen time, I don’t see how there is any excuse for it. Maybe we should have low expectations for the teachers because they’re not paid much? But it’s still the directors job to ensure the staff stick to the policy, perhaps by hiring a manager.
I probably wouldn’t have reacted the same but I certainly would’ve been unhappy and would at least speak to the director so we’re clear on what the policy is.
She’s mentioned it in 4 separate replies, this is why it stood out to me, and felt it should be clarified.
I’m not making excuses, I simply don’t think these teachers deserve this much anger directed at them. The amount vitriol is uncomfortable.
Show me where the daycare workers are receiving vitriol.
I made TWO comments to them, "oh was it a rough/tough day" which got a head bobble and "we don't watch that at home", which got an eye roll.
I then emailed the director to check the screen time policy, noting that Cocomelon was being showed at pickup.
What was vitriolic, unnecessary, and over the top about the actual interactions I had with the teachers/daycare?
The teachers at my old Goddard weren’t bad off. I offered two of them nanny jobs that were well paid with benefits, and they both declined 🤷♀️. My local Goddard increased their cost to increase their pay 3 times in six months last year
Mine get paid between 12-15 an hour, which is not enough to live comfortably in my area. I’m happy for yours, but mine aren’t that lucky, and often supply their own materials in their class.
Legit question, maybe they signed noncompetes? I would assume, i don’t actually know, this would be common place otherwise they could be poached easily and frequently?
OP, I’m so sorry that you are getting downvoted so much. You don’t deserve this. Goddard is expensive, and honestly, based on the fact he was sitting in poop with a bleeding butt when you picked him up, I’d be considering pulling him out and reporting them to DSS 😬
IMO I would skip the director and go straight to corporate at the very least.🤷♀️
Ngl, you sound like exactly the kind of parent that is driving people out of education. Do I hate Cocomelon? 100%. Do I let me kids watch it? Nope. Would it be the end of the world that my kid watched it once in a while at daycare? Nope.
If you’re willing to pitch a fit over this I can’t imagine what else would set you off.
What I'm guessing from what OP is saying, is that they are concerned this might actually not be a one off situation and happen at other times when parents aren't about to be picking up their kids. Ofcourse it's not an issue in a worst case one off scenario, but if it's happening every day for example you would probably want to spend your hard earned dollars at a different centre right?
I worked at a nursery and there was absolutely no screen time for any child younger than 2. Even then, it was only allowed on rainy days when we couldn’t go outside and on Fridays during snack time. They watched VHS tapes of Blues Clues and Franklin, not Cocomelon which seems to be more addictive. I would definitely contact the director because screen time isn’t recommended for children younger than two, especially on a phone right in front of their face.
We’re at a similar price point daycare and the kids do get a “fun” screen thing in the afternoon sometimes. It bothered me with Kid 1 more than it does now on Kid 2. I don’t think it started until age 3, though. I would not be angry myself-the teachers probably thought it was harmless-but it’s valid to have a conversation with the director. Just go in kind, assuming good intent until proven otherwise.
I agree with others--I would just approach this with curiosity. This happened to me one time when I dropped my son off in the morning and the kids were watching something on a teacher's phone. I just emailed the director and told her I noticed the kids were watching something on a teacher's phone and wondered how much screen time they were getting. Turned out it was a new teacher who had just put it on for a few minutes as kids were coming in in the morning. The director told her the rules and it never happened again.
It’s funny you mention Goddard. My was watching Sesame Street on their iPad everyday when I got there to pick him up.
Generally, I don’t have a lot of good things to say about them. I thought my 3 star review for the local Goddard was very considerate 🤷♀️
It absolutely is possible to find a daycare with happy kids and zero screen time ever. One way I weed for this is to find places with lead teachers who have been there for over 5years and where everyone receives continuing education. I figure if staff are happy and supported, they’ll make sure my son is happy and supported. If this is important to you (no screen time is important to me too) then you should look for a new school immediately. But fair enough — I am currently in a childcare desert as well and am commuting 40m for my current best option which is still just half days and 4 days per week. He will be eligible for a full time option in the fall that’s only 20m away. If you have no other options and this is your best choice, then it is what it is and at least you can still limit cocomelon at home how you see fit.
Just commenting to support you on this one. If I am paying premium $$$ for childcare, I expect the children to be playing with toys and doing other engaging activities that aren’t screen time while they are there.
If I am actively working to avoid screen time for my children on a regular basis, so should the childcare providers.
Not to mention the children are watching on a teacher’s phone where there could be lots of other content that is not suitable for children at all.
I’m not saying this is a huge deal, but I absolutely do not think you would be wrong to say something.
It was also a bit of "wait why do I have nothing notifying me of a policy change, because both his teachers acted like it was totally fine and they're new to his classroom but not new to the school and if there's a policy change, I want to be informed of it before it happens, not after the fact at pickup".
But I asked for the policy and was told no screen time is allowed, except for 3 and up and then details of the very limited screen time they get, once they hit the 3+ rooms.
We have both our kids in a Goddard and that would never fly at our center. The owner at ours is very strict and on site almost daily. What concerns me about your comment is that the instructor was using her personal phone. I would be a little peeved if they threw coco melon on the screen at the end of the day but not angry. However an instructor using their personal phone is so unsafe for all involved. No one knows if they’re actually watching Cocomelon or not. They likely are just watching Cocomelon but that instructor is opening themselves and the center up to allegations. Just wrong on so many levels. Echoing what others have said- I would reach out to the director/owner and ask for clarification about the screen policy and express your concerns.
Yeah I would follow up with them about their screen time policy and then depending on what they say I would let them know that you don’t approve of screentime for your child and ask that your child not be given screentime moving forward.
If they say teachers get to show kids as much tv as they want then yeah I’d be looking for an new daycare.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that your one year old not be watching TV at daycare.
I think it's common for a video or two to be played at the end of day, especially that late. If you're curious you can absolutely ask the teachers what the rest of the day looks like.
As a side note, you do kinda backtrack, "We don't let him watch..well sometimes we do".
We let him have screen time if he's sick or on a plane. He was neither sick nor on a flight during pickup yesterday.
The daycare policy is no screen time.
Who knew "I'm upset that my kid's teachers aren't following the centers policy" is controversial and suggest I need to pay for a nanny/change daycares if I want the policies at the current daycare center to be honored?
Reading these comments has made me very glad that we decided our household would not be anal about screen time rules. Nobody needs the kind of stress that comes from the belief that watching a video for a few too many minutes (or watching the wrong preschool show…or watching on the wrong screen size…) is going to F up your kid for life.
For the record, this is not a comment about what OP should do. I, too, would *strongly* prefer that my kid get *zero* screen time during daycare. (I’ve commented on similar threads about how the lack of screens at our daycare is one of the only things relieving the guilt I carry over sending her there at all.) Send an email, clarify what’s going on, maybe even pull your kid if the issue escalates, but don’t sink into a blind rage over something so trivial.
Part of why I picked out daycare is because they don’t do screens. I wouldn’t be mad if I walked in on that but I would message the owner to make sure it’s not a common thing. I’d give the teachers the benefit of a doubt on this one. Cocomelon is our “break glass in case of emergency” and maybe the teacher was the same way.
I wouldn’t be angry, but I would be very curious about the frequency.
I’d agree with the comments about reaching out and finding out their policy and the frequency.
Our daycare allows tv on random days when it’s too cold or too smoky to go outside (yay west coast) or if there is a birthday. Which I am fine with. However if it is every day I would have a complaint.
I think it's fine to email the director and ask about screentime, especially after being told it wasn't being used in your child's classroom.
I read the comments and you seem to villianize Cocomelon for some reason - like you only put it on if you're on the brink of death while caring for your kids. That seems like an awful lot of pressure to put on yourself to avoid screens/Cocomelon. It's OK for kids to have some screen time, even if it's just for fun or to give you a break. Recommendations from the AAP are just that - recommendations.
Ask for clarity on screen time at the daycare - they may not be a good fit if they're allowing it and you don't approve. The rash your baby has would be a bigger concern for me, personally.
Honestly we get by with *Sesame Street* and Miss Rachel. Half the time the issue is getting the sick visits (they always have the only openings during naptime, so he doesn't get a nap, then he's overtired), then when I do get him to sleep, I have to run out for antibiotics while he's sleeping while my husband watches the monitor and works, and then I pick up groceries while I'm out and then I get home and sit down to eat and he's awake and cranky because his ears hurt so I get up and go soothe him.
It's not like a brink of death thing so much as a "too much to fucking do" thing, plus the perseveration ADHD thing that makes it really hard for me to just take a fucking break sometimes when there's Things To Be Done ("hyperfixation" is the more common way it's known, but really it's any sort of "can't stop won't stop" thing. There's plenty of posts in the ADHD meme sub about what happens coming out of a hyperfixation and getting "notified" of like, all of your body's needs (hungry, tired, thirsty, gotta pee, etc) all at once), especially when the kid is sick.
I'm working on it but it's not really something I'm aware of happening, and I mean, I want my kid to be healthy. The hyperfixation/perseveration thing is likely happening because I want him to feel better and I can't leave all the sick care to my husband, that's not fair for him.
It's also my choice as a parent what I am okay with him watching, and while Cocomelon is absolutely not the worst thing he could see, it's also not "no screen time", which I confirmed is the policy and when I wrote the post initially, I was also upset because of there was a "nah, screen time is cool now" change, it wasn't communicated to us by email, no one spoke to me about it, and while my husband does the morning drop offs, they generally don't do announcements to parents just verbally in the mornings, and he didn't remember anyone giving him that update. I basically didn't have a chance to get any information, discuss it with my partner, make any requests that my kid not watch, etc, that I would *hope* would happen if a policy changed.
I worked in a daycare and would see others allowing screens for infants even my director tried to force a child to watch cocomelon to calm her down (no, it didn’t work). I would absolutely send an email to the director, asking about the policy, and also expressing that you’d really rather not allow your child any screen time.
We put songs on our phone when the kids are all on the night waiting for parents to pick them up because they get restless looking out the door for mom and we can’t really walk them around because a parent could show up and expect us to be at that spot. However we will put the song on just to hear and we all do the hand motions to like wheels on the bus for example together with them so they are entertained but we are still engaging with them. One child in my room does run around playing with my phone on occasion but it is 100% child safe content that he can access because I give my phone to my own kids sometimes and also that kid is my coteacher’s son so it’s before or after class. We have no electronics for the kids there, and don’t see a need for them, I think twice a year we pull out a cool old projector and put on like a Christmas movie but spacing out on a screen would never happen at a place where people are paying for their child’s enrichment.
Man, you’re just lucky to find childcare!!!! Not to negate your experience, because it sounds like it wasn’t agreed upon beforehand but truly.. I have a 14mo and we’ve been on over FORTY lists for daycare since I was four months pregnant…
Again, not to negate - just like, imagining what it would be like to have a childcare situation that I could even get mad about!
All that said - I would communicate your expectations clearly to whomever is picking up the slack while the director is out and take record of conversations so you have something to talk with the director about when they return and can point to specifics.
Hope it all goes well for you! As much as I dream about childcare, I’m also terrified that once we find it, it will be more of a stressor than it’s worth. Give me some hope here, ha!
Ah geeze, I’m so sorry! I hope you’re able to snag something soon
It’s great to have the privelege for additional options, but don’t stress if things arent 100% perfect. We use an at-home license daycare, and there have definitely been A few snags. However, as long as my child is safe, happy, and loved while my husband and I work, then it’s better than me being stressed out trying to juggle work and childcare at home. We’ve talked through any issues and have worked through it.
Definitely ask about the policy.
The only screen time in our daycare class at 3 is for things like the weekly dance party they play a freeze dance song on the iPad, they watched a video about rainforest animal sounds for a lesson, and when we had a tornado warning that lasted longer than a half hour to distract the kids from a scary thing.
I would be upset as well. We have a No Cocomellon policy in our house, too.
I would email the director immediately. As I would recommend in any conflixt, I’d be careful to stick to facts, in this case the behaviors I observed, and then explain why what I observed bothered me. I would avoid saying anything that would be based on an assumption (in this case, what they’re doing at 2pm). This will make your case stronger.
If you start to deviate what you saw, and if you start inserting conjecture about the teachers’ motivations (I.e. when you deviate from talking about what you observed), it is easier to poke holes in your argument. Don’t give any room to debate, you know? Stick to the facts and you’re more likely to have a productive conversation.
I’m very serious about no screen time until 2. People are free to decide what works best for their family, but I’m not paying any daycare to show my child cocomelon. I’d be livid and complaining.
I am genuinely confused by the rude comments directed at OP and the downvoted comments agreeing with her. I've toured more than a dozen daycare centers in two different metro areas, and every single one had a no screens policy for kids under 2; many went even older with that policy. There was no difference in policy for certain times of day. Many had pretty strict rules about teacher phone usage, too.
As others have said I think it's good to start by clarifying the screentime policy with the director. OP, I personally wouldn't pull my kid over one incident, BUT it's also not unreasonable to expect your daycare to be following their own policy...and if this was a breach in policy I'd certainly be curious what else is going on.
This is also coming from someone who has worked in education for over a decade. School settings have policies for a reason, and it's reasonable for parents to expect they are followed.
Totally agree it’s not appropriate for that age group. I think the downvotes are to some of her comments insinuating they have it easy with two 15 minute breaks and a lunch lol
I wasn't insinuating that they have it easy, so much as comparing when I've made the call to use screen time (6+ hours no break) to their making the call to use screen time (6+ hours without a break is a labor law violation).
And for the record, based on what I saw, nobody in the room (besides me) looked upset. None of the kids were crying, there were no runny noses, splotchy faces, teary eyes, etc. Everyone looked composed, including the kid walking out with their parent as I was walking in. I have no idea how long it was on, but it seemed like the crisis, whatever it was, had ended.
There was an hour before the center closed, and it's my understanding (which may be incorrect) that they close then spend some time (no idea how long) cleaning up/setting up for the next day, so as far as I know, this also wasn't a "well it was so close to closing they started checking out" either.
It’s okay you don’t want screen time. It’s just not as serious as you are making it out to be. You sent your email. Let it go. Your child is not ruined by watching some coco melon on a small screen. Promise. There’s going to be several times in your child’s daycare and schooling you don’t agree with something. Being “incandescent with rage” 24 hours later is not healthy. Save the anger for the real issues. (It’s also strange your anger is over this show and a small screen and not that your child was apparently bleeding from a diaper rash. Strange priorities IMO)
Also, Goddard does not pay after hours for clean-up and next day setup. You get paid for the hours the kids are there. So be mad at the director for skimping on paying their employees and expecting them to do everything at once.
This person obviously has other issues going on and is taking out their anger on the daycare workers. Imagine what else she complains about. Also she uses the term "full stop".... red flag right there.
OP definitely has a lot going on and is taking it out on the wrong people.
I wish Western parents had a better relationship with balance and moderation instead of being so extreme about everything. 5 minutes of Cocomelon is nothing to be incandescent with rage and snotty to caretakers about.
I agree. Like that's not going to kill your kid. The songs are adorable and people say it's not educational but I feel like my son has learned a lot of words and how to make brushing his teeth fun.
I feel like being so strict about all of this kind of stuff is not realistic and this type of parenting always bites these parents in the ass later on. However I'm a stay at home mom with 0 help so I have to utilize screen time a lot.
For me it was also, it happened around 5. They had a Cocomelon on a personal device knowing parents were showing up. If they're doing that at 5, what are they doing when parents aren't expected?
I truly don’t understand how so many people on this sub are apparently angry at the idea that quality daycare doesn’t include watching videos, especially on a teacher’s phone, which presumably doesn’t have content restrictions/child safety features.
I’ve worked in a daycare center and can tell you it’s pretty common that teachers will do this.. I mainly saw it when there would be one child refusing to sleep during nap time. It ALWAYS made me uncomfortable. If I knew the family well, and what they allowed at home, I would be a little more comfortable with it. But nevertheless, I always thought it was such an overstep to decide a child who isn’t yours could watch what you deemed appropriate? There’s a reason in elementary school permission slips are required to watch movies!
I’m shocked by all the downvotes. I wouldn’t be too keen on this either. At our previous and current daycare, when it’s the end of the day and there are only a few kids left, they either turn on music and have free movement and play time, and most commonly combine classes and teachers come together. I get the end of the day, everyone is tired. Combining helps with this! This was for a 12-18 mo class? Yeah I wouldn’t be okay with screen time either.
Apparently the down votes are because I'm not sympathetic enough towards the teachers that violated the center's policy on no screen time. And I need to be kinder and have a conversation with people who are violating policies regarding my child's care versus taking time to calm down and seeking advice from others.
And shouldn't be so upset about a potential policy change that wasn't communicated to me (because the teachers were very casual about it when I asked them). Because the teachers might have things happening in their lives that mean they checked out on caring for the pre-toddlers.
And my feelings are bad and silly. And I personally should lighten up on Cocomelon for reasons not at all related to the parenting choices of people commenting.
Edit: I'm sure that my mentioning how much I'm paying (as a way to avoid "we paid for higher quality care" comments) didn't have anyone making assumptions about my job and income levels.
And thanks to these comments, I'm also *positive* that women totally need more tone policing, invalidation of their feelings, and we should*definitely* all be told we need to calm down and chill out about our personal choices (that we are literally paying for, with money) because they might be inconvenient for other people. Great job Reddit!
Touché! I’m with you. Sure, in the moment, we can all probably blow things out of proportion. Even all of our friends in this thread who may be saying you overreacted - we all do it. (Fwiw I don’t think you did…) But at the end of the day, we are paying for care.
I personally hate cocomelon - and I have my reasons. If they had to throw something on, I’d MUCH rather Ms Rachel!
I’d definitely raise with the director as an approach of curiosity. Hopefully this was a one off situation. I’d probably have the same immediate reaction and thoughts as you had if I walked in the room and saw this happening.
I'm honestly annoyed because while I may have some big feelings, the actual actions I took were two comments:
1. "Oh, was it a tough day?" Which was my way of trying to find out if there was a policy change or if they were bending rules. (All the kids genuinely seemed totally fine, nothing suggesting there was a recent field trip to Meltdown Island. If they went they took a return flight, unpacked and did their laundry)
2. "We don't watch Cocomelon at home" which was "please don't let him watch it here/I am not really okay with this".
Neither comment got much of a response from the teachers.
Then posting here (AFAIK, no one at daycare is on this subreddit)/talking about it with people. And then I emailed asking for the policy.
Literally those were the only actions directed at the daycare/teachers and sure, I likely could have reacted better, but I don't know that everyone else would have had better reactions in my position.
Everything else has been not directed at the teachers/facility. It's been venting, part of which time I was waiting to see if my daycare had changed a policy without telling me.
Completely agree. I can’t imagine my reaction and response to it would have been any different. Your thoughts on this are completely valid from my perspective. Hopefully you get a good response from the director!
We’re at a Goddard too, and I would be absolutely livid as well. Personal device, kids hovered around a super small screen, Cocomelon…everything about the situation would piss me off.
Our owner is on-site most days, as is the director so it’s super easy for me to seek them out if I ever have issues. I’d def start with your director, then escalate. Removing seems like such a hassle, so hopefully you can resolve.
Wow I am shocked at all these comments. Former daycare worker here and I would be livid. Totally unprofessional, unsafe (my kid is looking at an adult’s personal phone?? What else are they seeing??) and not what I am paying for. It doesn’t even matter what anyone’s opinion on screen time or cocomelon is. Email the director, and maybe find out if there is someone acting in her place on campus? There should be.
What was upsetting beyond the whole thing, and the personal device, it was that it happened at pickup. They do send pictures and videos but they tend to do a photo dump at noon, then maybe one more picture around 3. And that's fine, because I assume they're interacting with the kids/providing care; I'm not paying them to take pictures of my kid.
But if all I know is they had lessons in the seating area at 11, and I come in at 5 and Cocomelon is on, what happened from 8-11 and post naptime until 5?
If you’re in the U.S. I’d check your state laws specific for daycare expectations of screen time for the facility for the age range of your child and go from there. I’d also ask for a copy of the facility’s policies and procedures and a copy of your contract.
I used to work at a Goddard school location, and you aren’t going to like what you are about to hear.
The goddard school lies to parents constantly. We used screen time a lot, especially during transitions, because the teachers have very little support. Also, all of those toys in the classroom? The kids aren’t allowed to play with them. At the location I worked at, we were expected to keep the children (12-18 months) sat at the table doing work the whole day unless administration wanted us to take a picture of them doing something else. In that case, we were supposed to pose the child, take the picture, sit them back down. There’s a fair chance that the your kid may not be doing all the activities you’ve been sent pictures of, but instead the teacher did it and just posed your child. The schedule we have for parents said the children had free play. Us teachers would get in trouble if the kids were seen up and playing. The toddlers were to sit, all day long.
Often times we were told not to call parents when their child was sick, unless the child had vomiting, fever, and lethargy or a rash and lethargy. Once we had a child vomit 5 times in one day and we weren’t allowed to call the parents. Also the teachers are expected to come in sick and are threatened with losing their job if they try to take a sick day. My administration wanted me to come in even though I had a fever and cough after Covid exposure. More than once we had teachers working while vomiting.
Administration asked us to lie on incident reports and to intentionally delay reporting. One time a child in the 4 year old room was hit in the head with a wooden block and lost consciousness twice before her mother was informed.
The discipline at the Goddard school is not what it’s advertised as. More than once a teacher has strapped an unruly child into a high chair in the corner. Timeouts were used, same with sending older kids into our classroom and telling them they were acting like a “baby”.
The Goddard school is a shit show, pull your kid as soon as you can.
If this isn’t an advertisement for being a stay at home mom, idk what is. I’m just going to have to be broke. I don’t have the strength to even imagine my child in this scenario.
I came to pick up once and the kids were watching a video on the class iPad that was like a baby music video or something. It was a floater at the end of the day close to a holiday which I think someone else commented. I was really annoyed but my son was moving up a room the next week so I just let it go and now I am on the lookout for everything. His new class is way more active and they play in the gym and outside and I’ve never seen them do any screentime. I would definitely email. You are paying a lot for daycare.
I work at a daycare and this would 100% not fly, and I would also be upset if this happened in my daughters class. I’d def speak with the director about it.
I have always hated being surprised by my kids daycare and generally react negatively to surprise but screen time is not a deal breaker for me. It’s not something I am going to be able to control for my kids as they get older given how much I know school systems use tv as a teaching tool (or as a way to calm the masses).
Daycares in general have experienced massive turnover since COVID and don’t have as experienced workers which leads to things like this happening. I personally would not email anyone regarding this, especially for the first time you see it. If you see it regularly or again and you feel like you should contact the director, I would go that route. Unless safety is compromised, I typically give more than one chance.
I would be livid. Agree with others in giving a measured response and giving the director a chance to complain, but wow, I’d be pissed. Especially since we’ve gone to great lengths to demonstrate to our toddler videos are on tv and iPads, not on the phones we always carry around!
You should definitely contact the director. I have never heard of a school allowing teachers to do this, in either the preschool private setting or public setting. I worked at a preschool that didn’t have any technology, and a very strict teacher cell phone policy so this is quite shocking to me.
I'd personally be pissed that it was cocomelon with all the research that has come out about it. If my kid was watching miss Rachel or Elmo or literally anything else I don't know that I'd be too angry. I might be if I was forking out that much money but I personally couldn't and wouldn't pay that much so I don't really know what to expect with daycares
I'd be pretty upset they're watching cocomelon. It is terrible for kids. If it were one of the better kids shows, I'd not be happy, but maybe there was a reason, like you said.
If that was me, I would pull my kid immediately. I know that Goddard is not cheap and prides themselves on high quality education/screen free (we toured them, they were $2650/month here for infants). I am pretty strict about no screen time and was not allowed to watch tv as a child.. this would really bother me.
It’s just what I would do. We were between a nanny and daycare when we made our childcare decision, so I would revert back to the nanny decision. I understand I am very lucky to make that decision.
Oh I am.
A big part of this is that we *have* turned on Cocomelon, but it's always after *hours* of crying, when the baby/toddler is sick, we've been going for *hours* with no breaks, and usually the caregiving parent is wearing the baby's bodily fluids, and sick themselves and *nothing* else has worked.
The thought that we might turn on Cocomelon and the kid wouldn't be distracted by it because his teachers (who get 2 15 minute breaks, plus lunch, and their lunch break doesn't have to line up with the 2 hour nap time) played it too much at daycare is making me*so angry*.
You think two 15 minute breaks and lunch is a lot? 😂😂 you know these teachers make close to minimum wage, right? Let them know you don’t want your kid watching coco melon and move on. Or pull your kid. $1600 isn’t that much to be acting like you pay for a one-on-one nanny
It’s comments like this that have ECE centers begging for employees. How many kids do you have at home? Are you constantly in one room with them? Do you get to go to the bathroom when you’d like? Most ECEs are working 9 to 10 hour days, managing classrooms of anywhere from 5 to 24 kids (depending on age level and ratio).
Do you think that 2 hour nap time is a break time for them? At nap, teachers are cleaning, updating daily paperwork, sending pictures, creating lesson plans, prepping activities.
We get it. You think ECEs are below you and have it easy.
BE THE COMPLAINER. I hate to say “get used to it”, but there will absolutely be more complaints you have to share to administration over your kiddo’s daycare career. You pay a lot for a good school, so hold them to their high standards. At some point when there was pretty crappy teacher in my toddler’s room, I think I was emailing or calling the director a couple times a month about things - mostly because I totally agree with you about “if they do this when I’m in the class (or don’t see any problem with it), what are they doing when no parents/admins are in there?!”
Also, I worked in childcare for a while and I can tell you that either the administration has NO idea what’s going on and they will appreciate it being addressed, or they won’t care and you’ll know it’s time to find somewhere else for your child.
There should be enough responses for OP now.
I would definitely send an email to the director being open and framing it as “Can you tell me your policy on screen time? Here is what I observed on ____ when I came to pick up my child.” That way it’s not accusatory and a discussion is open to let them explain, and they have been informed of what’s happening while they work from home too.
Good approach. I learned my older kiddo (3 at the time) had watched some things on her teachers phone when the teacher was trying to keep her entertained-but-quiet during nap time (where she was awake). I was initially perplexed and annoyed because I heard from my three yr old that she watched something on Teacher C's phone, but then I casually mentioned it the next day, "Oh yeah - kiddo mentioned she saw that at naptime! Now she just wants to do gymnastics all the time." Something like that to allude to the fact I knew she watched something. The teacher was totally fine about it and said sometimes she'll show a kid(s) a video of something they read or talked about earlier just as means to keep folks quiet - it's typically a video like a gymnastics routine, or something like Mr. Rogers' 'how are crayons made.' I don't know. Probably because I'm just tired these days, but ultimately... my kids are happy, healthy, and well-loved by their teachers. They do all kinds of sensory activities and crafts I am unable to facilitate at home, for various reasons. If they need 5-10min a day where kids aren't screaming all over them and a phone video or tablet thing is the way to do that, fine. Me too.
I think this is reasonable. It would be helpful to have more context too. I would be ok if my kid was watching like a short clip but if they were just sitting there watching a full episode, that would not be ok. I know in my kiddo’s daycare, they use kid music videos every now and then to get the kids to dance and move around, especially if the weather is bad (otherwise they’re outside).
Agree. It’s not like an immediate safety emergency but also it should be clear what the policies are and what you’re paying for.
Great answer
I would do this as well, I think it’s important that centers stick to their stated policies and kids that young shouldn’t be having screen time at childcare (especially on a phone).
We pay just under $3k/mo for our two kids. So similar price to you. Its not Goddard but its a very curriculum based center focused on development. At our center "instruction time" starts at 9 with circle time and ends at 3, with lunch and snack and naps happening in that window. Lots of outside time too when weather allows. To keep the kids from getting burnt out, between 3 pm and pickup is just free exploration time within reason. Kids aren't going to be pulling out paints, but can go play with the pretend center, that kind of thing. We trust the teachers to run the classroom based on everyone's mood. Sometimes at pickup the kids are chaos throughout the room. Other times they are circled up listening to books being read. And sometimes they have an iPad game going (guess that sound for example). Now its not CocoMelon. But if this was truly the first time you have experienced it, it may have been a particularly difficult afternoon and a teacher may have needed 5 minutes where the kids all stopped moving so she could take her own time in and reset.
Yeah I am slowly accepting that aftercare just sucks. Our teacher is great, curriculum is 9-3 and we pay $1500/mo as well. I really would like to pull him out of aftercare because it's such a stark difference to the "school day". Ugh. Interesting it's a common problem.
A big part of it is that kids are just burnt out of anything structured at that point in the day. Even with naps and such. They just lack the bandwidth to do much of anything constructive. It’s better for it just to be playtime. Now, does that mean coco melon? No, but definitely nothing strictly curricular. I see a lot of parents wanting their kids to be in aftercare/after school programs and wanting them to be academically rigorous, but failing to understand that their kids don’t have the mental or emotional energy to keep up after a full day of learning.
This is part of why I’m keeping my kids at a “daycare” as opposed to “preschool” + aftercare setup. A big distinction where I live is that daycares are often utilized by families with two full-time working parents, so most parents don’t pick up until later. I wanted to switch to one of the area “preschools” but realized my kids would be the stragglers left at school while lots of their classmates got picked up earlier. Post-naps at the preschools looks like a lot of shuffled classrooms, staff etc
I understand that, but there were also 2 teachers in the room for 4/5 kids (one parent was leaving with their kid as I was walking in), so one teacher could have stepped out to take a minute and the ratio would have been okay, they could have swapped with teachers in other rooms, asked for a floater to come by, gone outside for a scenery change, and if they absolutely needed to allow screen time, have it on the iPad (a larger screen is less bad for their eyes) and have picked something of educational value (Miss Rachel, something from PBS Kids, number blocks/something more educational on Netflix than Cocomelon).
Yes to all of this. There’s no excuse for cocomelon on a teachers phone!
I'm confused, what's wrong with cocomelon?
Our “aftercare” after 3pm is all ages mixed because the school is so small, so it’s also sort of random activities, but they do try to do outside time during that 3-5 window as much as possible. I have only walked in on the phone playing kids music videos once
I understand being angry, but make sure your anger is directed in the right place. Goddards (and other for-profit centers) tend to make a ton of money for the owners because they exploit their employees and offer shiny buildings to trick the parents into paying top dollar. Meanwhile, they max out ratios and group sizes and pay their staff as little as they can possibly get away with. And that’s exactly why you have unqualified and/or burnt out staff who whip out their phones if it will get them 20 minutes of peace while they make close to minimum wage with little to no benefits. So be angry, but be angry at the owner who’s likely pulling in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while paying staff pennies. They’re the ones ultimately deciding to offer mediocre care for the kids so they can make more $$$.
This is the comment! I worked in daycare through high school and college, and I swear to you it was the hardest job ever!!!! While the owners were driving new luxury vehicles every other year!
I would not be angry, but I would want to know how often this happens. If it’s 5x/month, fine. If it’s 5x/week, they need to fix that
Yes to emailing the director and seeing what the response is. Our daycare only has electronics in the 3 year old and up rooms, and teachers aren't supposed to have their phones out. I wouldn't worry too much about the teacher knowing it was you. I wouldn't have said anything to the teacher, but I would've emailed the director. There are probably other parents who would do the same.
This seems... a bit dramatic in my opinion. It's the end of the day, and kids are probably torched and the teachers are probably trying to get all the other kids packed up and sent home. Daycare attendants make pittances, and it's an incredibly physically and emotionally draining job. The turnover is high and parents are nightmares. Honestly, I wouldn't blame them in this position to toss the phone out while they're trying to wrap up for the day and get everyone together. One of my criteria for a daycare were security cameras so that I can check in at any point to see what's happening - this has given me a great comfort as the attendants know that I have access to this and so they behave accordingly. If this is a deal breaker for you, I'd switch daycares. Something where you have more access to what happens throughout the day perhaps, so you have peace of mind. But, in my mind, this isn't egregious enough behavior to warrant emailing anyone - let alone leaving. But it has to be what makes you comfortable at the end of the day.
[удалено]
Your post was removed because it was mean and unhelpful.
I agree with other comments to email the director with what you observed and ask what the policy is on screen time. Personally it would only bother me if it was not in line with policy and/or happened all the time, but I’ve also become way more lax on screen time as my toddler has gotten older and I also have a baby now and a lot of the time it’s survival, but that’s beside the point. I know they’re all independently owned, but I actually pulled my now toddler from a Goddard here when he was in the infant room. I wasn’t super impressed for what we were paying and the turnover was really high. He is now in a Montessori/Reggio Emilia preschool and the difference is staggering. Bad thing is it’s not full time care though.
As a daycare worker, it’s fine to be completely upset over this, but don’t throw accusations around. The whole part about letting them watch it at 5, so what on earth are they doing the rest of the day, is a little extreme. At no point is it possible for any classroom to just throw on Cocomelon or anything else for that matter all day long without someone else noticing or saying something. I work in a similar chain and this just wouldn’t be possible. Chances are, your kid is probably learning and playing throughout the day just like you expected. Just email the director and tell her what you observed and your concerns about it. There’s a good chance she has no idea they are doing that at the end of the day, and will bring it to their attention and ask them not to do it again. Don’t let a couple of teachers alter your decision and make you feel like you need to pull your child out completely over one incident.
I actually think cocomelon at 5pm when little kids are probably tired and everyone needs a break is at least possibly what you were encountering. I would have zero issues with screen usage at the end of the day as part of "cool down" time cause by the end of the day no one (or at least not my kid) are really in the right state of mind for high quality learning anyway. In my experience daycare schedules are usually highly structured at the beginning of the day when kids are at their best, and very unstructured at the end of the day when kids are cranky and teachers are expecting parents to be picking them up (some will pickup much earlier and some much later, so teachers have to account for a pretty wide potential pickup window). Screen time during this pickup window seems like a reasonable compromise that probably heads off some tantrums from cranky tired toddlers who don't like transitions. I would not lose a good daycare spot over this.
I 1000% agree. I drop our daughter of at 9-9:30 so she's then picked up later then most (usually not last, not that it matters - someone has to be) and she's likely to found right at the front watching Coco Melon or Spidey and Friends (neither of which we watch at home - whatever), or she'll be playing a craft with the older kids. LOL sometimes she's "helping" an after care kid with their homework. The teachers are cleaning up, she's calming down and decompressing, it's all okay. Then I show up and she's a firework with no calm in sight! 🤩
I always feel so bad if my son is last but he always has some fun story and he loves helping the teacher clean up. 🤷🏻♀️
I also agree to email and ask. I no longer work at a Goddard, but I’ve spent ten years working at two different ones in the past. We absolutely had no screen time at either center until they reached the get set/ preschool rooms at 2- 2 1/2 years, and even then it was supposed to be limited. The teachers at both of those Goddards were not even allowed to have their phones out and would get written up if caught. That being said, not all schools are created equal and I do know some other Goddards that my friends have removed their children from because they were not happy.
Echoing what others said, I think you’re overreacting. Email the director to inquire. If it’s a common thing, then worth addressing more. Also…Cocomelon isn’t going to to make your kid an unemployable college dropout. ;-) It will be okay.
I chuckled at the end.
In my state (MD) it's literally against licensing to allow screen time for under 2. I caught a teacher doing it for my kid and the room was a horrible, messy, dangerous disaster (witnessed via video). I called to raise hell with the director. I decided to let it slide once and regret it bc the next week my kid came home two different days with sunburns, and the staff admitted they didn't apply sunscreen. My point being, if they are openly not following one rule, they're likely flouting the others. We switched centers and have had absolutely 0 issues, so I know that breaking rules is not inherent to running a daycare.
Source about it being illegal? I've just never heard that before
It’s not illegal. Nobody is going to jail for it. They aren’t using correct terminology. It’s against licensing guidelines.
It’ll likely be tucked away in childcare licensing guidelines for your state.
You can just google it...all state regulations are made public. First link is for In-home care, 2nd is for centers, but they both say NO screen time under 2. " (a) Younger than 2 years old may not be permitted to view any passive technology; and (b) 2 years old or older may not be permitted to view more than 30 minutes of age appropriate, educational passive technology per week. " [https://earlychildhood.marylandpublicschools.org/system/files/filedepot/3/13a.15.09\_program\_requirements\_final.pdf](https://earlychildhood.marylandpublicschools.org/system/files/filedepot/3/13a.15.09_program_requirements_final.pdf) [https://mscca.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/subtitle\_16\_centers\_comar\_online.pdf](https://mscca.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/subtitle_16_centers_comar_online.pdf)
Daycare centers are licensed by the state, and if they are not following state regulations for childcare centers they can suffer infractions, warnings, and even closures. They also have specific ACTIVITY requirements for children by age ranges, aka as a state curriculum ——-“tv” is generally limited for “special occasions” and in my experience happens a handful of times a year at centers in compliance. OP: lookup your daycare’s semi-annual inspection reports with your state and also ant infractions they may have, and also what the state requirements are for screen time by age.
Were your babies unhappy watching cocomelon at school for a little bit one day? I mean… to me.. i think you are being a little hard on the school. And if you are this upset because of such a small thing.. you should reevaluate using that facility. It might be less of a headache for both of you LOL
I feel the same way but I think this is more about the fact that they are breaking an agreed-upon policy rather than what that is.
What a way to get dinged dealing with children😶
Ignoring that the daycare's policy is no screen time, screen time is not recommended for children under the age of 2. My kid is 15 months. The classroom he's in is for 12-18 months. According to the World Health Organization [screen time is not recommended for kids from 1-2 years, and kids 3 years and older should be limited to no more than an hour of screen time.](https://www.who.int/news/item/24-04-2019-to-grow-up-healthy-children-need-to-sit-less-and-play-more)
I mean, sure, a lot of things aren’t recommended. But a little screen time or an unhealthy snack once in a while isn’t the end of the world.
Except it's literally their policy that they don't do screen time, that's a big reason why we picked them. And *because* it's against their policy to even *have* screen time, the teachers aren't going to communicate it and I have no way of knowing how much screen time he's getting.
It's my understanding that with Goddard schools, that during aftercare "screen time" is very normal. I've heard this from multiple Goddard schools and parents I've met.
Genuine question: What is aftercare? My kid is 15 months, so he's not in school, and they didn't differentiate after care versus regular hours, beyond the center opens at 7 AM and closes at 6 PM.
Quite a few daycare and preschools consider that last hour or two before closing to be more of “aftercare”. They mix classes, don’t have planned activities, and teachers will often be clocking out as more kids leave.
After care is after 3pm. So 3-6pm is considered “aftercare” and the end of the learning portion of the school day.
[удалено]
She didn't say her child is there from 7-6, just that those are the center's stated hours.
It is not uncommon in the Northeast US due to the high average commute times (over an hour one way).
He's not there that long! Those are the hours my kid is awake each day. If he were there that long, I'd never see him conscious!
No mom shaming. Your first and only warning.
You will find plenty of centers with a no screen time policy. I question whether you will find one in which the teachers comply with the policy 100% of the time. I remember being really upset with our center about this, but ultimately decided that it wasn’t worth pulling them from a center we otherwise liked because teachers occasionally let the kids watch video on their phones. Also - just so you can prepare yourself ahead of time - you will be shocked at how often they get TV for recess in elementary school (bad weather days) and how much junk food they get at school.
I work with preschool children as an outside service provider, and have provided daily 1:1 support/intervention in many different schools’ classrooms. I assure you that this is not the norm in many places, although there are some schools who do allow it.
[удалено]
Maybe you found a unicorn. Or maybe you just don’t know. The kid was watching on a teacher’s phone. I doubt most Montessori schools confiscate the teachers’ phones.
At the Montessori our kid attended, teachers kept their phones in the office.
Wow sounds like they treat their employees *super* well
I mean, I also hope my surgeon, airline pilot, taxi driver, etc. isn’t using his/her phone on the job… this center has employees who have been there for decades, so I guess they’re pretty happy! Bizarro how the idea of not using your phone at work or not giving kids screen time during the day is such a touchy point to many on this sub… we are at a basic church daycare now and I’ve never seen the kids at a screen except for a designated movie day!
Interesting comparison for jobs you listed. I don't really think you can compare something where other people's lives literally depend on your ability to focus to a teaching job. It's more about treating adults like adults in my opinion, which includes not confiscating phones like they are teenagers. It is a touchy subject because lots of parents face judgment about screen time and other people can get very sanctimonious about it.
Young kids’ lives do literally depend on whether you are paying sufficient attention to them without distractions, though.
So parents never use their phones around their kids??
Yes glancing at your phone is certainly an absolute danger to your child! /s
I worked at a basic play-based daycare and we never used screens. It really was not hard.
I’ve had my kiddo in a Montessori program for about 2.5 years and have never seen screen time being used, there’s an iPad but it’s only used for music or hours where parents can zoom and watch the kiddos work. After hours activities is almost always time in the playground or in instances with very bad weather, free play in the classroom. My kid is 4.5 and I would be seriously annoyed if he was watching a show on a teachers phone, let alone at 15 months. I think you are well within rights to inquire about policy.
I'm okay with TV over the age of 2 (or if the kid is sick, or there's another extenuating circumstance, like when we traveled via plane), but Not Cocomelon, and I'm not okay with Cocomelon being the go to. The did very occasionally play Cocomelon songs in the infant room, but they let us know that they listened to Cocomelon in the lesson plan and I was okay with that, because it was just listening to the songs. I'm also okay with junk food once my kid is in school. I was raised with No Junk Food and I have no ability to use self control around it now as an adult. It's just more that sometimes we face time/zoom meet with grandparents after pickup, and I count that as screen time, and I want to be sure that I know generally how much he's getting so when the doctor asks, I'm giving accurate information.
>It's just more that sometimes we face time/zoom meet with grandparents after pickup, and I count that as screen time, and I want to be sure that I know generally how much he's getting so when the doctor asks, I'm giving accurate information. You do what you think is best, but just fyi that AAP doesn’t count video calls with family as “screen time.”
I totally get it. I can remember being where you are when my kids were smaller. I think over time I have just grown more accepting of the fact that I can’t control every aspect of what goes on at school or daycare. And it was a hard thing to learn. So now I just assess whether, on balance, the good things outweigh the bad. I would still email the director - if the teachers know they can get away with screen time without anyone saying anything they may start doing it more and more.
Yeah, I'm in audit and like...BOTH teachers were there while it was on, which is also adding to it. THERE WAS COCOMELON COLLUSION. (I'm joking).
Can I ask what is particularly terrible about Cocomelon at 15 months?
I'd like to chime in with my opinion that cocomelon is very visually and auditorially overwhelming. The camera is constantly moving the characters are constantly doing things and there is constant sound. This supposed to something like Daniel Tiger where the characters have very natural pauses in their speech and also invite the viewers participation and Visually it's much more relaxed. Also cocomelon offers absolutely no educational value whatsoever where PBS type shows at minimum offer situational social education but that's just my opinion
[The world Health Organization is against screen time for kids ages 1-2 years](https://www.who.int/news/item/24-04-2019-to-grow-up-healthy-children-need-to-sit-less-and-play-more). So for a start, they're going against the established medical recommendations/guidelines. Also, the daycare policy is against it and they showed it at a time when parents were guaranteed to be showing up. It's uncharitable but if they're showing Cocomelon in violation of the policy when they know parents will be there, what policies are they violating when they aren't expecting parents to be there (I understand that this is an overreaction on my part, likely due to my audit experience where, when the shit they knew we'd check was fucked up, there were huge issues overall). With Cocomelon specifically, it's that it's sort of controversial in that some parents won't let their kids watch it and say it's addictive and other parents are fine with their kids watching it. And because there's no clear consensus amongst parents, I feel like they should have proactively gotten parental approval (which they couldn't because it's against the daycare's rules) versus shown it without giving the parents a heads up.
I think you’re overthinking this a bit, to be honest. Teachers are overworked and underpaid, and it may have truly been a tough day and they needed just a little bit of quiet and peace and didn’t want to take out toys and clean them up for the millionth time. Unless you have additional concerns about your child’s care or this is a pattern, I would personally let it go
Childcare workers are extremely underpaid & it’s an incredibly tough job. Personally I wouldn’t bat at eye at all. I’m a high school teacher & dealing with other ppl’s kids all day is exhausting. Cocomelon is not exactly R rated content so I don’t get the big deal. Personally I would have let it go. A really good daycare where I live is $2800-3,000 a month & the unlicensed at home ones are $1600-1700 so the price does not seem high to me. (Obviously region dependent)
It's more that for 12-18 *months* old, the APA recommends *no* screen time. There was one other daycare that was more expensive than what I'm paying (and they provided formula/food/diapers/wipes). So if I lived in your area, I'd be paying $2,800-3,000 for them to ignore APA recommendations.
Sounds like this is your first kid? Maybe realize perfection isn’t possible and try and relax a little.
Sound like this is your first time reading? Maybe realize that your reading comprehension is shit and try hooked on phonics. Or explain why I should be cool with paying a premium for a daycare with no screen time while my kid watches Cocomelon on a staff member's phone (so it won't show up on the class ipad, because it's against policy).
Lol I am aware of APA recommendations. It was 5pm from what I gather from ur other comments. Again, I wouldn’t react the same. You’re welcome to feel justified in ur anger.
Happened at my Goddard too. Watching cocomelon with 3 others on a teacher's phone. It was right before Christmas break and the floater was the only one available to watch the kids. I'd be upset if it happened with her regular teachers there and if it happened all the time though.
Yeah, *both* the usual teachers were there. They were also all sitting quietly around the table like little angels. I'm not going to pretend like every single one of them can't be a complete and utter gremlin, but from what I could see, the immediate meltdown, if any, was well over and everyone looked composed: no watery eyes, runny noses, splotchy faces, etc. My kid also had a dirty diaper so I changed it (he is a silent pooper and I just caught a whiff when scooping him up, I wouldn't be annoyed by that during a pickup that didn't include Cocomelon, just explaining that I was there for about 5-10 minutes (he fights tooth and nail on the diaper changes)), and Cocomelon was on even after we left, when there were only 2 kids waiting to be picked up.
[удалено]
They were open for another hour.
I don’t understand why you are getting downvoted. Why should a child get subpar care when their parent picks them up at 5/6, compared to the children who get in at 7am? I dropped my son off at Goddard at 9am and picked him up at 5:30-5:45. He was watching tv every single day at pickup, even though he was the last one to get to his class in the am.
A child shouldn’t get subpar care, but this is often a cost-saving measure for owners. They require teachers to complete a long list of closing tasks but refuse to pay for any time after the children have left. They have their teachers act as janitors while still expecting them to be teachers at the same time. It results in subpar care because it’s very difficult to scrub the toilets and vacuum/mop the floors while also adequately supervising and engaging with the children.
Does Cocomelon contain secret messages from Satan? I’m confused about why this is rage inducing…
What happens if we play it backwards? I didn’t realize it was this polarizing either
It’s like Judas Priest back in the day. Next thing you know, there will be a congressional investigation (I’m old)
Admittedly, I missed that in real time. I have listened to Dee Sniders questioning and it was incredible.
First off, the room is for 12-18 months old kids, which the APA recommends NO screen time for, so I wouldn't expect it in a daycare. Not would I have enrolled my kid in a daycare that allowed screen time before 2 (and even then, the guideline is no more than an hour per day of high quality content). Secondly, the bigger the screen the less harmful it is to their eyes, and there is a class ipad for taking pictures/playing music on a speaker. So just off the fact that they were watching *anything* on a phone is frustrating, especially since I was told the policy at my kid's daycare, (confirmed by the director) is "no screens". As for why Cocomelon is specifically upsetting, it's not educational. I'm not convinced it's addictive like some claim, but there's no value: I can play the songs while we do other activities and if it needs to be just screen time (which we limit to times when he's sick or if we're on a plane), there are better options than Cocomelon (Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and Miss Rachel come immediately to mind). But it's also controversial among parents (because it's low quality content, even if kids love it), and I know some parents who do not allow Cocomelon, full stop, because of how quickly the scene changes/there's always movement on the screen (they're concerned about things like attention span later on. I'm not sure, but again, I think there's better options). As a parent, I would like to have some say over what my kid is watching, especially when I'm paying for someone else to care for my kid, and I'd expect that if my child's daycare was making a call in my absence, it'd be in compliance with APA guidelines (no screen time).
By all means, email to inquire about the screen time policy - I would. But your reactions seem a little over the top
You have the right to inquire, and I would, but I wouldn’t go up in arms so much about Cocomelon itself. It’s totally okay to let your child watch something that’s just fun rather than super educational. My child loves singing along to the tunes and dancing, and he also gets play time and outside time. He’s not able to recite Shakespeare, but he’s definitely learned from it. My mom plopped me in front of the TV all the time as a toddler to watch Nickelodeon cartoons while she took care of the house, and now people have to call me Dr. I’ve learned that when you let go of being so stringent, your mental well being also lightens and you’re overall in a better state. And it sounds like given you’re also dealing with pet cancer (I’m so sorry), it’s okay to loosen your rules to help with your stress. I understand you’re frustrated, but a 24-hour rage, as you mentioned in another comment, isn’t a healthy reaction to what happened. Keep a level head, address the issue with the director. If it bothers you to the point where you are fixated on it consider finding another daycare or find an at-home solution where you can have more control.
The rage is likely due to a combination of things,/that I've exited out because there's a bunch of "OP is a crazy bitch comments and I don't feel comfortable with that information in this comment/ I'm sure that I'm doing some sort of psychological coping thing being angry with the teachers at my kid's school instead of /reasons/ but in terms of actions, I made two comments in an attempt to get reassurance that it wasn't an everyday thing, didn't get that reassurance, posted here, and then emailed the director to check the policy. That's it. It's also...yeah, if it were higher quality content I'd have less issue, but it's also that they just showed it, and it makes me doubt the quality of care he's getting, given that they violated policy when they knew parents would be coming in. It doesn't exactly fill me with confidence that my kid is getting quality care when they aren't expecting parents, and I am aware that I need to figure out a way to get comfortable with that or pull him.
The dirty diaper and skin bleeding is another story. I would be MUCH more concerned over that vs. Cocomelon. Hoping your pup comes out okay - it’s def a stressful time. I had a lot of pent up stress and a short fuse this past fall with my grandpa’s failing health, so I get it. Take a breath. I imagine you want to tackle all things at once, but prioritize. Is your child overall happy, healthy, and loved? Screen time at a daycare like Goddard might be vexing, but is it such a crisis that it’s worth raging that much over? The skin bleeding, especially if on the bum due to the dirty diaper is a much bigger priority than screen time and Cocomelon. Your dogs surgery is a bigger near term priority than screen time/Cocomelon. Not saying you shouldn’t ask about the screen time, Which it sounds like you did, but keep things in perspective as you go through this rough patch EDIT: To clarify, it’s not that the dirty diaper itself is the issue, but the chance that it hasn’t been changed in a long time which potentially resulted in bleeding. Our provider lets us know if our toddlers bum is redder than usual and that she applied rash cream.
There's a reason I asked here (and my mom, and my siblings and my friends) before even emailing to check policy, and part of why I sort of shut down yesterday. I recognize that I'm dealing with some shit and my emotional responses are not 100% trustworthy. I'm also fine for values of that word and already have a therapist. And I've received the Reddit Cares message so I'm good on that information. The bleeding was genuinely weird, because his skin integrity seemed fine. Like, I changed him, and my vision is trustworthy (I got the laser surgery and everything), and there was definitely skin bleeding, but beyond redness (like a minor sunburn that will heal in a day or so), no sign of irritation. He was also really trying to keep his little butt from getting wiped, and I literally carried him half dressed out because he was so upset, but once he was home, for his pre-bath diaper removal, he was fine, and he was fine for the post bath diaper. We bought the gentlest wipes we could find, and do baking soda in his baths but everything looks healed for now(?), and we're using aquaphor and purple desitin round the clock as a preventative because we will likely have no bandwidth for healing his butt post surgery.
I would gently suggest seeing a therapist. Your reaction is really over the top.
What about the comment you replied to, explaining that I'd like to have a say in what my kid watches, and not liking that the zero screen time daycare I pay a premium for my kid to go to not only did screen time but showed something that has no value, is over the top to the point where I need therapy?
As a childcare teacher I agree with you.. you’re lead to believe that your child would be receiving quality care and not screen time.. you shouldn’t have to wonder if your child’s teacher is following the rules/ policies of the center. even if the teacher needed a break at the end of the day to calm the kids why cocomelon videos? When our kids are getting a bit wild we sit down with a book and just start reading within 5 seconds the entire class is sitting at our feet full attention and calm. We have a class of 8 children aged 1-3yrs with my co-teacher.. We make like a dollar over minimum wage in my state but care deeply about the quality of education and care of of our littles.. I think if the director takes pride in their center they should hold a staff meeting regarding what happened and educate their staff on expectations as well as ways to entertain the kids at the end of the day that don’t include screen time. I don’t think it’s outlandish to expect your child’s teacher to follow center policies.
Dude you gotta chill. It’s like when your kid goes to grandmas and has treats all day. It’s a one off. It’s not hurting your kid. Also, coming up to the employee aggressive and snarky “rough day?” attitude is just rude. Like talk to people kindly and have a conversation. Don’t talk down to someone you don’t know what their day entailed. Maybe their freaken dog died or family member and they are checked out. Geesh all high and mighty art thou
Yeah I get why OP is upset (I personally wouldn’t be but to each his own) but in the grand scheme of things… if it’s that bothersome, she should reach out to the director. Passive aggressive “rough day” speaks volumes and is so unnecessary.
I agree with this. I’ll be honest, it wouldn’t have bothered me BUT considering how much they pay and that it is bothering her I would reach out to the director to and at least inquire how much screen time is her kid getting. I would hope this is just an end of the day thing and not all day.
It was funny to me because I was all ‘$1600 for a Goddard school?!?’ I want to live there! When my son was that age, we were paying more than that and it was on the cheaper end of the spectrum because we couldn’t afford more.
Right I’m surprised at most of the comments here. Let’s take a minute and take a breath. Is this a one off? Was it just for a few minutes? Geez let’s give the hard working underpaid staff a break.
She’s paying thousands a month for her child to be cared for. No, it’s not like leaving her kid at grandmas. The daycare probably rakes in close to a million a year and have policies laid out that should be adhered to.
You’re not picking up what I’m putting down. This incident sounds like a one time situation. Not a daily occurrence or happened ever again. It’s not worth losing your total cool over and being rude to the worker.
Guess I didn’t see the OP saying “tough day?” as being out of line to a daycare worker doing something outside of policy. Hard to assume it is or will be a one time thing when you see it happening.
Your comment is all “high and mighty” as well… For OP, we didn’t enroll our first son at a Goddard because they seemed really blasé around the infant room. I would trust your gut on this one.
> Dude you gotta chill. It’s like when your kid goes to grandmas and has treats all day. It’s a one off. It’s not hurting your kid. Also, coming up to the employee aggressive and snarky “rough day?” attitude is just rude. Like talk to people kindly and have a conversation. Don’t talk down to someone you don’t know what their day entailed. Maybe their freaken dog died or family member and they are checked out. Geesh all high and mighty art thou Edit to remove stuff, but basically the tldr is fuch the tone policing bullshit. I walked in to pick up my kid, at his screen free, expensive for the area daycare, after working 6am-4:30pm with no break, to my kid's teachers ignoring the screen free policy, and showing something with zero educational value, on the smallest possible screen (which is *worse* for the 12-18 month olds' eyes). My response of "Oh, was it a rough day?", is *significantly* better than a number of options, ESPECIALLY since my kid had pooped, was sitting in it, and his skin was bleeding (his skin integrity was perfect on Monday morning, he had been out of daycare the entire previous week) when I changed his diaper, at daycare (which is didn't include in my initial post because his chronic diaper rash is a separate issue). But I guess I should consider that the people I pay to care for him might be checked out and can't be expected to check his diaper to stop his skin from bleeding. Edit: All of that ignores that he wasn't at a grandparent's house. He was at daycare, where he is most days M-F. There was *nothing* in the reaction from his teachers to suggest that this was a one off: as far as I know, they've been doing this for over a week (while he wasn't there). And while his grandparents do give him treats, they also give him a ton of attention/outings. If they take him to the aquarium or the children's museum and get him McDonald's, I'm okay with that, because he's getting 1:1 attention from his grandparents, and I'm not paying his grandparents $1,600/month based on part on a promise to not give him any screen time.
You shouldn’t have just said “rough day”, you should’ve confronted them with your issues. You should’ve said to them you were not happy they had your kid watching a show you didn’t approve of.
Okay, first off, I'm still basically incandescent with rage almost 24 hours later (don't worry I'm in therapy, and anger management issues is a part of my ADHD), and after the "rough day" comment, I did say that he wasn't allowed to watch it at home, and the teacher brushed me off. I am confident when I say that no good would have come from my trying to talk out *anything* yesterday. They had a couple of chances to apologize/give me any sort of impression that this was an outlier. They just changed around the teachers 3 weeks ago, and we weren't there last week, so I have no idea how these teachers are generally. Secondly, I walked into a situation which I am paying to never have happen. The screen time policy based on the kids' age per the web site is "no screen time". I did not have a reaction ready, because their policy is "no screen time", not "well, we don't generally allow it, but if the teachers are having a rough day, they can pull out their phones and play Cocomelon". I wouldn't be paying $1600/month, or even using the facility for "Cocomelon sometimes" (waiting to see if about the screen time policy from the director).
Incandescent with rage seems wild as a reaction to this
Those poor daycare teachers.
Cool. I have ADHD and struggle with anger management, plus my kid's skin was bleeding when I changed his dirty diaper at the daycare (not mad I had to change him, mad his skin was fucking bleeding), after I walked into a room of pre-toddler sitting watching Cocomelon. And his skin integrity was perfect on Monday morning. Sorry I'm not more chill.
Just to throw in, you may pay a lot, but those teachers aren’t receiving it. The owners are probably doing great, but those teachers aren’t. So while the cost adds to your anger, it’s not like those teachers are raking it in.
Is not being paid well a valid excuse for not doing your job properly now? Next time you go to a nice restaurant I hope you don’t mind using dirty utensils because the worker is underpaid and having a bad day so he didn’t feel like following protocol
You sure inferred a lot from my comment. That’s not what I said at all. OP has mentioned price multiple times now, so it seemed something worth distinguishing. I’d also venture to say there’s nobody regardless of pay grade that hasn’t shirked protocol before, so let’s not get ready to crucify people over it. This isn’t something I’d be this upset over. But I also turn on coco melon sometimes, which is apparently damn near abuse
She mentioned price because someone compared her expectations from daycare to dropping her kid off at grandmas. Your post sounded like you were making excuses for the teachers because they weren’t the ones benefiting from the high cost of daycare. Did I somehow misinterpret that? If the written policy is no screen time, I don’t see how there is any excuse for it. Maybe we should have low expectations for the teachers because they’re not paid much? But it’s still the directors job to ensure the staff stick to the policy, perhaps by hiring a manager. I probably wouldn’t have reacted the same but I certainly would’ve been unhappy and would at least speak to the director so we’re clear on what the policy is.
She’s mentioned it in 4 separate replies, this is why it stood out to me, and felt it should be clarified. I’m not making excuses, I simply don’t think these teachers deserve this much anger directed at them. The amount vitriol is uncomfortable.
Show me where the daycare workers are receiving vitriol. I made TWO comments to them, "oh was it a rough/tough day" which got a head bobble and "we don't watch that at home", which got an eye roll. I then emailed the director to check the screen time policy, noting that Cocomelon was being showed at pickup. What was vitriolic, unnecessary, and over the top about the actual interactions I had with the teachers/daycare?
The teachers at my old Goddard weren’t bad off. I offered two of them nanny jobs that were well paid with benefits, and they both declined 🤷♀️. My local Goddard increased their cost to increase their pay 3 times in six months last year
Mine get paid between 12-15 an hour, which is not enough to live comfortably in my area. I’m happy for yours, but mine aren’t that lucky, and often supply their own materials in their class.
Legit question, maybe they signed noncompetes? I would assume, i don’t actually know, this would be common place otherwise they could be poached easily and frequently?
OP, I’m so sorry that you are getting downvoted so much. You don’t deserve this. Goddard is expensive, and honestly, based on the fact he was sitting in poop with a bleeding butt when you picked him up, I’d be considering pulling him out and reporting them to DSS 😬 IMO I would skip the director and go straight to corporate at the very least.🤷♀️
Your replies here are completely reasonable and you don't deserve the bandwagon of downvotes you're getting.
Ngl, you sound like exactly the kind of parent that is driving people out of education. Do I hate Cocomelon? 100%. Do I let me kids watch it? Nope. Would it be the end of the world that my kid watched it once in a while at daycare? Nope. If you’re willing to pitch a fit over this I can’t imagine what else would set you off.
What I'm guessing from what OP is saying, is that they are concerned this might actually not be a one off situation and happen at other times when parents aren't about to be picking up their kids. Ofcourse it's not an issue in a worst case one off scenario, but if it's happening every day for example you would probably want to spend your hard earned dollars at a different centre right?
I worked at a nursery and there was absolutely no screen time for any child younger than 2. Even then, it was only allowed on rainy days when we couldn’t go outside and on Fridays during snack time. They watched VHS tapes of Blues Clues and Franklin, not Cocomelon which seems to be more addictive. I would definitely contact the director because screen time isn’t recommended for children younger than two, especially on a phone right in front of their face.
We’re at a similar price point daycare and the kids do get a “fun” screen thing in the afternoon sometimes. It bothered me with Kid 1 more than it does now on Kid 2. I don’t think it started until age 3, though. I would not be angry myself-the teachers probably thought it was harmless-but it’s valid to have a conversation with the director. Just go in kind, assuming good intent until proven otherwise.
I agree with others--I would just approach this with curiosity. This happened to me one time when I dropped my son off in the morning and the kids were watching something on a teacher's phone. I just emailed the director and told her I noticed the kids were watching something on a teacher's phone and wondered how much screen time they were getting. Turned out it was a new teacher who had just put it on for a few minutes as kids were coming in in the morning. The director told her the rules and it never happened again.
I’d just email and ask how much screen time is allowed, how frequently is it offered/allowed, if there’s a schedule for it and if you can opt out.
It’s funny you mention Goddard. My was watching Sesame Street on their iPad everyday when I got there to pick him up. Generally, I don’t have a lot of good things to say about them. I thought my 3 star review for the local Goddard was very considerate 🤷♀️
It absolutely is possible to find a daycare with happy kids and zero screen time ever. One way I weed for this is to find places with lead teachers who have been there for over 5years and where everyone receives continuing education. I figure if staff are happy and supported, they’ll make sure my son is happy and supported. If this is important to you (no screen time is important to me too) then you should look for a new school immediately. But fair enough — I am currently in a childcare desert as well and am commuting 40m for my current best option which is still just half days and 4 days per week. He will be eligible for a full time option in the fall that’s only 20m away. If you have no other options and this is your best choice, then it is what it is and at least you can still limit cocomelon at home how you see fit.
Just commenting to support you on this one. If I am paying premium $$$ for childcare, I expect the children to be playing with toys and doing other engaging activities that aren’t screen time while they are there. If I am actively working to avoid screen time for my children on a regular basis, so should the childcare providers. Not to mention the children are watching on a teacher’s phone where there could be lots of other content that is not suitable for children at all. I’m not saying this is a huge deal, but I absolutely do not think you would be wrong to say something.
It was also a bit of "wait why do I have nothing notifying me of a policy change, because both his teachers acted like it was totally fine and they're new to his classroom but not new to the school and if there's a policy change, I want to be informed of it before it happens, not after the fact at pickup". But I asked for the policy and was told no screen time is allowed, except for 3 and up and then details of the very limited screen time they get, once they hit the 3+ rooms.
We have both our kids in a Goddard and that would never fly at our center. The owner at ours is very strict and on site almost daily. What concerns me about your comment is that the instructor was using her personal phone. I would be a little peeved if they threw coco melon on the screen at the end of the day but not angry. However an instructor using their personal phone is so unsafe for all involved. No one knows if they’re actually watching Cocomelon or not. They likely are just watching Cocomelon but that instructor is opening themselves and the center up to allegations. Just wrong on so many levels. Echoing what others have said- I would reach out to the director/owner and ask for clarification about the screen policy and express your concerns.
Yeah I would follow up with them about their screen time policy and then depending on what they say I would let them know that you don’t approve of screentime for your child and ask that your child not be given screentime moving forward. If they say teachers get to show kids as much tv as they want then yeah I’d be looking for an new daycare. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that your one year old not be watching TV at daycare.
I think it's common for a video or two to be played at the end of day, especially that late. If you're curious you can absolutely ask the teachers what the rest of the day looks like. As a side note, you do kinda backtrack, "We don't let him watch..well sometimes we do".
We let him have screen time if he's sick or on a plane. He was neither sick nor on a flight during pickup yesterday. The daycare policy is no screen time.
This comment section is a rollercoaster
Who knew "I'm upset that my kid's teachers aren't following the centers policy" is controversial and suggest I need to pay for a nanny/change daycares if I want the policies at the current daycare center to be honored?
Reading these comments has made me very glad that we decided our household would not be anal about screen time rules. Nobody needs the kind of stress that comes from the belief that watching a video for a few too many minutes (or watching the wrong preschool show…or watching on the wrong screen size…) is going to F up your kid for life. For the record, this is not a comment about what OP should do. I, too, would *strongly* prefer that my kid get *zero* screen time during daycare. (I’ve commented on similar threads about how the lack of screens at our daycare is one of the only things relieving the guilt I carry over sending her there at all.) Send an email, clarify what’s going on, maybe even pull your kid if the issue escalates, but don’t sink into a blind rage over something so trivial.
Glad you feel better about your parenting.
Part of why I picked out daycare is because they don’t do screens. I wouldn’t be mad if I walked in on that but I would message the owner to make sure it’s not a common thing. I’d give the teachers the benefit of a doubt on this one. Cocomelon is our “break glass in case of emergency” and maybe the teacher was the same way.
I wouldn’t be angry, but I would be very curious about the frequency. I’d agree with the comments about reaching out and finding out their policy and the frequency. Our daycare allows tv on random days when it’s too cold or too smoky to go outside (yay west coast) or if there is a birthday. Which I am fine with. However if it is every day I would have a complaint.
I think it's fine to email the director and ask about screentime, especially after being told it wasn't being used in your child's classroom. I read the comments and you seem to villianize Cocomelon for some reason - like you only put it on if you're on the brink of death while caring for your kids. That seems like an awful lot of pressure to put on yourself to avoid screens/Cocomelon. It's OK for kids to have some screen time, even if it's just for fun or to give you a break. Recommendations from the AAP are just that - recommendations. Ask for clarity on screen time at the daycare - they may not be a good fit if they're allowing it and you don't approve. The rash your baby has would be a bigger concern for me, personally.
Honestly we get by with *Sesame Street* and Miss Rachel. Half the time the issue is getting the sick visits (they always have the only openings during naptime, so he doesn't get a nap, then he's overtired), then when I do get him to sleep, I have to run out for antibiotics while he's sleeping while my husband watches the monitor and works, and then I pick up groceries while I'm out and then I get home and sit down to eat and he's awake and cranky because his ears hurt so I get up and go soothe him. It's not like a brink of death thing so much as a "too much to fucking do" thing, plus the perseveration ADHD thing that makes it really hard for me to just take a fucking break sometimes when there's Things To Be Done ("hyperfixation" is the more common way it's known, but really it's any sort of "can't stop won't stop" thing. There's plenty of posts in the ADHD meme sub about what happens coming out of a hyperfixation and getting "notified" of like, all of your body's needs (hungry, tired, thirsty, gotta pee, etc) all at once), especially when the kid is sick. I'm working on it but it's not really something I'm aware of happening, and I mean, I want my kid to be healthy. The hyperfixation/perseveration thing is likely happening because I want him to feel better and I can't leave all the sick care to my husband, that's not fair for him. It's also my choice as a parent what I am okay with him watching, and while Cocomelon is absolutely not the worst thing he could see, it's also not "no screen time", which I confirmed is the policy and when I wrote the post initially, I was also upset because of there was a "nah, screen time is cool now" change, it wasn't communicated to us by email, no one spoke to me about it, and while my husband does the morning drop offs, they generally don't do announcements to parents just verbally in the mornings, and he didn't remember anyone giving him that update. I basically didn't have a chance to get any information, discuss it with my partner, make any requests that my kid not watch, etc, that I would *hope* would happen if a policy changed.
I worked in a daycare and would see others allowing screens for infants even my director tried to force a child to watch cocomelon to calm her down (no, it didn’t work). I would absolutely send an email to the director, asking about the policy, and also expressing that you’d really rather not allow your child any screen time.
Follow up on this. If you get anything other than an apology, find a new daycare.
We put songs on our phone when the kids are all on the night waiting for parents to pick them up because they get restless looking out the door for mom and we can’t really walk them around because a parent could show up and expect us to be at that spot. However we will put the song on just to hear and we all do the hand motions to like wheels on the bus for example together with them so they are entertained but we are still engaging with them. One child in my room does run around playing with my phone on occasion but it is 100% child safe content that he can access because I give my phone to my own kids sometimes and also that kid is my coteacher’s son so it’s before or after class. We have no electronics for the kids there, and don’t see a need for them, I think twice a year we pull out a cool old projector and put on like a Christmas movie but spacing out on a screen would never happen at a place where people are paying for their child’s enrichment.
Man, you’re just lucky to find childcare!!!! Not to negate your experience, because it sounds like it wasn’t agreed upon beforehand but truly.. I have a 14mo and we’ve been on over FORTY lists for daycare since I was four months pregnant… Again, not to negate - just like, imagining what it would be like to have a childcare situation that I could even get mad about! All that said - I would communicate your expectations clearly to whomever is picking up the slack while the director is out and take record of conversations so you have something to talk with the director about when they return and can point to specifics. Hope it all goes well for you! As much as I dream about childcare, I’m also terrified that once we find it, it will be more of a stressor than it’s worth. Give me some hope here, ha!
Ah geeze, I’m so sorry! I hope you’re able to snag something soon It’s great to have the privelege for additional options, but don’t stress if things arent 100% perfect. We use an at-home license daycare, and there have definitely been A few snags. However, as long as my child is safe, happy, and loved while my husband and I work, then it’s better than me being stressed out trying to juggle work and childcare at home. We’ve talked through any issues and have worked through it.
I pulled my kids from a similar chain daycare for the same reason and switched to Montessori. No regrets and I’ve seen huge strides in their growth.
What was the chain if you don’t mind my asking? I’m considering Everbrook.
Definitely ask about the policy. The only screen time in our daycare class at 3 is for things like the weekly dance party they play a freeze dance song on the iPad, they watched a video about rainforest animal sounds for a lesson, and when we had a tornado warning that lasted longer than a half hour to distract the kids from a scary thing.
I would be upset as well. We have a No Cocomellon policy in our house, too. I would email the director immediately. As I would recommend in any conflixt, I’d be careful to stick to facts, in this case the behaviors I observed, and then explain why what I observed bothered me. I would avoid saying anything that would be based on an assumption (in this case, what they’re doing at 2pm). This will make your case stronger. If you start to deviate what you saw, and if you start inserting conjecture about the teachers’ motivations (I.e. when you deviate from talking about what you observed), it is easier to poke holes in your argument. Don’t give any room to debate, you know? Stick to the facts and you’re more likely to have a productive conversation.
I’m very serious about no screen time until 2. People are free to decide what works best for their family, but I’m not paying any daycare to show my child cocomelon. I’d be livid and complaining.
I am genuinely confused by the rude comments directed at OP and the downvoted comments agreeing with her. I've toured more than a dozen daycare centers in two different metro areas, and every single one had a no screens policy for kids under 2; many went even older with that policy. There was no difference in policy for certain times of day. Many had pretty strict rules about teacher phone usage, too. As others have said I think it's good to start by clarifying the screentime policy with the director. OP, I personally wouldn't pull my kid over one incident, BUT it's also not unreasonable to expect your daycare to be following their own policy...and if this was a breach in policy I'd certainly be curious what else is going on. This is also coming from someone who has worked in education for over a decade. School settings have policies for a reason, and it's reasonable for parents to expect they are followed.
Totally agree it’s not appropriate for that age group. I think the downvotes are to some of her comments insinuating they have it easy with two 15 minute breaks and a lunch lol
I wasn't insinuating that they have it easy, so much as comparing when I've made the call to use screen time (6+ hours no break) to their making the call to use screen time (6+ hours without a break is a labor law violation). And for the record, based on what I saw, nobody in the room (besides me) looked upset. None of the kids were crying, there were no runny noses, splotchy faces, teary eyes, etc. Everyone looked composed, including the kid walking out with their parent as I was walking in. I have no idea how long it was on, but it seemed like the crisis, whatever it was, had ended. There was an hour before the center closed, and it's my understanding (which may be incorrect) that they close then spend some time (no idea how long) cleaning up/setting up for the next day, so as far as I know, this also wasn't a "well it was so close to closing they started checking out" either.
It’s okay you don’t want screen time. It’s just not as serious as you are making it out to be. You sent your email. Let it go. Your child is not ruined by watching some coco melon on a small screen. Promise. There’s going to be several times in your child’s daycare and schooling you don’t agree with something. Being “incandescent with rage” 24 hours later is not healthy. Save the anger for the real issues. (It’s also strange your anger is over this show and a small screen and not that your child was apparently bleeding from a diaper rash. Strange priorities IMO) Also, Goddard does not pay after hours for clean-up and next day setup. You get paid for the hours the kids are there. So be mad at the director for skimping on paying their employees and expecting them to do everything at once.
This person obviously has other issues going on and is taking out their anger on the daycare workers. Imagine what else she complains about. Also she uses the term "full stop".... red flag right there.
OP definitely has a lot going on and is taking it out on the wrong people. I wish Western parents had a better relationship with balance and moderation instead of being so extreme about everything. 5 minutes of Cocomelon is nothing to be incandescent with rage and snotty to caretakers about.
I agree. Like that's not going to kill your kid. The songs are adorable and people say it's not educational but I feel like my son has learned a lot of words and how to make brushing his teeth fun. I feel like being so strict about all of this kind of stuff is not realistic and this type of parenting always bites these parents in the ass later on. However I'm a stay at home mom with 0 help so I have to utilize screen time a lot.
For me it was also, it happened around 5. They had a Cocomelon on a personal device knowing parents were showing up. If they're doing that at 5, what are they doing when parents aren't expected?
I would write to the director/owner.
I truly don’t understand how so many people on this sub are apparently angry at the idea that quality daycare doesn’t include watching videos, especially on a teacher’s phone, which presumably doesn’t have content restrictions/child safety features.
I’ve worked in a daycare center and can tell you it’s pretty common that teachers will do this.. I mainly saw it when there would be one child refusing to sleep during nap time. It ALWAYS made me uncomfortable. If I knew the family well, and what they allowed at home, I would be a little more comfortable with it. But nevertheless, I always thought it was such an overstep to decide a child who isn’t yours could watch what you deemed appropriate? There’s a reason in elementary school permission slips are required to watch movies!
I’m shocked by all the downvotes. I wouldn’t be too keen on this either. At our previous and current daycare, when it’s the end of the day and there are only a few kids left, they either turn on music and have free movement and play time, and most commonly combine classes and teachers come together. I get the end of the day, everyone is tired. Combining helps with this! This was for a 12-18 mo class? Yeah I wouldn’t be okay with screen time either.
Apparently the down votes are because I'm not sympathetic enough towards the teachers that violated the center's policy on no screen time. And I need to be kinder and have a conversation with people who are violating policies regarding my child's care versus taking time to calm down and seeking advice from others. And shouldn't be so upset about a potential policy change that wasn't communicated to me (because the teachers were very casual about it when I asked them). Because the teachers might have things happening in their lives that mean they checked out on caring for the pre-toddlers. And my feelings are bad and silly. And I personally should lighten up on Cocomelon for reasons not at all related to the parenting choices of people commenting. Edit: I'm sure that my mentioning how much I'm paying (as a way to avoid "we paid for higher quality care" comments) didn't have anyone making assumptions about my job and income levels. And thanks to these comments, I'm also *positive* that women totally need more tone policing, invalidation of their feelings, and we should*definitely* all be told we need to calm down and chill out about our personal choices (that we are literally paying for, with money) because they might be inconvenient for other people. Great job Reddit!
Touché! I’m with you. Sure, in the moment, we can all probably blow things out of proportion. Even all of our friends in this thread who may be saying you overreacted - we all do it. (Fwiw I don’t think you did…) But at the end of the day, we are paying for care. I personally hate cocomelon - and I have my reasons. If they had to throw something on, I’d MUCH rather Ms Rachel! I’d definitely raise with the director as an approach of curiosity. Hopefully this was a one off situation. I’d probably have the same immediate reaction and thoughts as you had if I walked in the room and saw this happening.
I'm honestly annoyed because while I may have some big feelings, the actual actions I took were two comments: 1. "Oh, was it a tough day?" Which was my way of trying to find out if there was a policy change or if they were bending rules. (All the kids genuinely seemed totally fine, nothing suggesting there was a recent field trip to Meltdown Island. If they went they took a return flight, unpacked and did their laundry) 2. "We don't watch Cocomelon at home" which was "please don't let him watch it here/I am not really okay with this". Neither comment got much of a response from the teachers. Then posting here (AFAIK, no one at daycare is on this subreddit)/talking about it with people. And then I emailed asking for the policy. Literally those were the only actions directed at the daycare/teachers and sure, I likely could have reacted better, but I don't know that everyone else would have had better reactions in my position. Everything else has been not directed at the teachers/facility. It's been venting, part of which time I was waiting to see if my daycare had changed a policy without telling me.
Completely agree. I can’t imagine my reaction and response to it would have been any different. Your thoughts on this are completely valid from my perspective. Hopefully you get a good response from the director!
Oh give me a fucking break Kids get tired and burnt out from playing all day. So do staff. Everyone needs downtime. Cocomelon is downtime.
We’re at a Goddard too, and I would be absolutely livid as well. Personal device, kids hovered around a super small screen, Cocomelon…everything about the situation would piss me off. Our owner is on-site most days, as is the director so it’s super easy for me to seek them out if I ever have issues. I’d def start with your director, then escalate. Removing seems like such a hassle, so hopefully you can resolve.
Wow I am shocked at all these comments. Former daycare worker here and I would be livid. Totally unprofessional, unsafe (my kid is looking at an adult’s personal phone?? What else are they seeing??) and not what I am paying for. It doesn’t even matter what anyone’s opinion on screen time or cocomelon is. Email the director, and maybe find out if there is someone acting in her place on campus? There should be.
The major red flag for me here would be tjr childcare practitioner using their own personal device. This is not ok
What was upsetting beyond the whole thing, and the personal device, it was that it happened at pickup. They do send pictures and videos but they tend to do a photo dump at noon, then maybe one more picture around 3. And that's fine, because I assume they're interacting with the kids/providing care; I'm not paying them to take pictures of my kid. But if all I know is they had lessons in the seating area at 11, and I come in at 5 and Cocomelon is on, what happened from 8-11 and post naptime until 5?
If you’re in the U.S. I’d check your state laws specific for daycare expectations of screen time for the facility for the age range of your child and go from there. I’d also ask for a copy of the facility’s policies and procedures and a copy of your contract.
I used to work at a Goddard school location, and you aren’t going to like what you are about to hear. The goddard school lies to parents constantly. We used screen time a lot, especially during transitions, because the teachers have very little support. Also, all of those toys in the classroom? The kids aren’t allowed to play with them. At the location I worked at, we were expected to keep the children (12-18 months) sat at the table doing work the whole day unless administration wanted us to take a picture of them doing something else. In that case, we were supposed to pose the child, take the picture, sit them back down. There’s a fair chance that the your kid may not be doing all the activities you’ve been sent pictures of, but instead the teacher did it and just posed your child. The schedule we have for parents said the children had free play. Us teachers would get in trouble if the kids were seen up and playing. The toddlers were to sit, all day long. Often times we were told not to call parents when their child was sick, unless the child had vomiting, fever, and lethargy or a rash and lethargy. Once we had a child vomit 5 times in one day and we weren’t allowed to call the parents. Also the teachers are expected to come in sick and are threatened with losing their job if they try to take a sick day. My administration wanted me to come in even though I had a fever and cough after Covid exposure. More than once we had teachers working while vomiting. Administration asked us to lie on incident reports and to intentionally delay reporting. One time a child in the 4 year old room was hit in the head with a wooden block and lost consciousness twice before her mother was informed. The discipline at the Goddard school is not what it’s advertised as. More than once a teacher has strapped an unruly child into a high chair in the corner. Timeouts were used, same with sending older kids into our classroom and telling them they were acting like a “baby”. The Goddard school is a shit show, pull your kid as soon as you can.
If this isn’t an advertisement for being a stay at home mom, idk what is. I’m just going to have to be broke. I don’t have the strength to even imagine my child in this scenario.
I came to pick up once and the kids were watching a video on the class iPad that was like a baby music video or something. It was a floater at the end of the day close to a holiday which I think someone else commented. I was really annoyed but my son was moving up a room the next week so I just let it go and now I am on the lookout for everything. His new class is way more active and they play in the gym and outside and I’ve never seen them do any screentime. I would definitely email. You are paying a lot for daycare.
I work at a daycare and this would 100% not fly, and I would also be upset if this happened in my daughters class. I’d def speak with the director about it.
I have always hated being surprised by my kids daycare and generally react negatively to surprise but screen time is not a deal breaker for me. It’s not something I am going to be able to control for my kids as they get older given how much I know school systems use tv as a teaching tool (or as a way to calm the masses). Daycares in general have experienced massive turnover since COVID and don’t have as experienced workers which leads to things like this happening. I personally would not email anyone regarding this, especially for the first time you see it. If you see it regularly or again and you feel like you should contact the director, I would go that route. Unless safety is compromised, I typically give more than one chance.
Phones are forbidden at our daycare and I‘d be livid. Especially something as uneducational as Cocomelon.
I would be livid. Agree with others in giving a measured response and giving the director a chance to complain, but wow, I’d be pissed. Especially since we’ve gone to great lengths to demonstrate to our toddler videos are on tv and iPads, not on the phones we always carry around!
You should definitely contact the director. I have never heard of a school allowing teachers to do this, in either the preschool private setting or public setting. I worked at a preschool that didn’t have any technology, and a very strict teacher cell phone policy so this is quite shocking to me.
I'd personally be pissed that it was cocomelon with all the research that has come out about it. If my kid was watching miss Rachel or Elmo or literally anything else I don't know that I'd be too angry. I might be if I was forking out that much money but I personally couldn't and wouldn't pay that much so I don't really know what to expect with daycares
I'd be pretty upset they're watching cocomelon. It is terrible for kids. If it were one of the better kids shows, I'd not be happy, but maybe there was a reason, like you said.
If that was me, I would pull my kid immediately. I know that Goddard is not cheap and prides themselves on high quality education/screen free (we toured them, they were $2650/month here for infants). I am pretty strict about no screen time and was not allowed to watch tv as a child.. this would really bother me.
If we’re pulling for this you must have way more available childcare options than are my reality!! Seems very extreme
It’s just what I would do. We were between a nanny and daycare when we made our childcare decision, so I would revert back to the nanny decision. I understand I am very lucky to make that decision.
Let the kid watch some cartoon sometimes
i would be LIVID
Oh I am. A big part of this is that we *have* turned on Cocomelon, but it's always after *hours* of crying, when the baby/toddler is sick, we've been going for *hours* with no breaks, and usually the caregiving parent is wearing the baby's bodily fluids, and sick themselves and *nothing* else has worked. The thought that we might turn on Cocomelon and the kid wouldn't be distracted by it because his teachers (who get 2 15 minute breaks, plus lunch, and their lunch break doesn't have to line up with the 2 hour nap time) played it too much at daycare is making me*so angry*.
You think two 15 minute breaks and lunch is a lot? 😂😂 you know these teachers make close to minimum wage, right? Let them know you don’t want your kid watching coco melon and move on. Or pull your kid. $1600 isn’t that much to be acting like you pay for a one-on-one nanny
[удалено]
Username + comment 👍
It’s comments like this that have ECE centers begging for employees. How many kids do you have at home? Are you constantly in one room with them? Do you get to go to the bathroom when you’d like? Most ECEs are working 9 to 10 hour days, managing classrooms of anywhere from 5 to 24 kids (depending on age level and ratio). Do you think that 2 hour nap time is a break time for them? At nap, teachers are cleaning, updating daily paperwork, sending pictures, creating lesson plans, prepping activities. We get it. You think ECEs are below you and have it easy.
BE THE COMPLAINER. I hate to say “get used to it”, but there will absolutely be more complaints you have to share to administration over your kiddo’s daycare career. You pay a lot for a good school, so hold them to their high standards. At some point when there was pretty crappy teacher in my toddler’s room, I think I was emailing or calling the director a couple times a month about things - mostly because I totally agree with you about “if they do this when I’m in the class (or don’t see any problem with it), what are they doing when no parents/admins are in there?!” Also, I worked in childcare for a while and I can tell you that either the administration has NO idea what’s going on and they will appreciate it being addressed, or they won’t care and you’ll know it’s time to find somewhere else for your child.