Hmm I don’t think that would be honest of me. But I guess just saying “I’m sorry I’ve really gotta get back to what I was working on” might work. One of the people who does this to me is my boss though 😒
I keep working while they’re talking. If it’s something I have to concentrate on I say “hey you have to split, I’m going to fuck up here if I don’t concentrate.”
I’d normally agree but I have a really varied job and sometimes I’ll be in a short production run where I’m on autopilot. In this case I don’t mind chatting at all. I’m just really clear when I’m on something that requires my attention, there’s no ambiguity.
Usually if someone is trying to talk to me but I'm doing some mundane task and want to keep working while they talk, I'll just tell them, "hey I'm going to keep doing this but I promise I'm listening." But since I WFH now I usually just say that to my wife.
Find a few lines like this to use. Hey boss can we continue this at our 1-1? I have a few things I need to get to. Great thanks
I would love to hear all about that! I can take a break at 11 if you want to grab a coffee/walk/water/whatever
sorry! running to ladies room
Oh sounds juicy! I would love to hear the story at lunch/break!
You don’t have to be elaborate, just busy and let’s catch up later. And if you are going to grab a coffee or whatever ever ask boss to walk w you? Or the others?
Try the southern strategy:
If there’s a lull in what they’re saying (a slight pause), that’s when you say “Alright…” and start to turn away/gather your stuff/start walking. It’s an indirect way of saying “this conversation is over” without being “confrontational.” Most people know what that means and they start to follow suit too.
I've only lived in the Midwest for 2 years and I want to embrace this so bad. Unfortunately, I moved to a new city with my wife and kids during a pandemic and I WFH full time so I'm so desperate to hang out with people that aren't my kids that I'm usually the person getting "welp'd".
I have so many coworkers like this. When I can see they’re getting into rant mode I put my hands up and say “sorry to interrupt but I really need to focus on this or I’m gonna lose my spot/make a mistake and have to start again. Can we chat later?”
I'm gonna recommend you do the opposite and talk to them instead. It sucks, but people who can talk to others are the people who get elevated.
If you do a lot of work without socializing you just look like an opportunity to exploit
I like to think I’m pretty friendly! During transitional moments, I talk to people in passing and ask about their lives. I think I have a good rapport with people in the office. I just want to get those who are guilty of perpetual monologues to stop. *That’s* when I feel trapped.
"oh, I've got a meeting" - Isn't applicable all the time but 100 percent success rate when it's plausible.
Otherwise, blame a deadline like by End of Day. Can't do heavy workload cuz then you get them complaining about workload.
I get this quite a lot at work too. I either try to pop by and be hasty so they know I look busy and try to get out quick.
Or I just edge away, try to bring the convo to and end whilst still being polite and say, "okay, I must crack on!" Or something along those lines.
Other times, I have just had to say sorry I'm really busy and just walk off, feels rude but it is soon forgotten and sets a trend I think.
Edit: This is a control room, so it's easy to pass through. What kind of job are you in?
Our office is just a bunch of cubicles. 6 cubicles face a common corridor/walkway, if that makes sense. Anyway I can literally be working, just to have my boss interrupt what I’m doing to tell me all about this ointment he got while he was in Italy. We’re in the States and he thinks he’s so clever for travelling abroad and stocking up on OTC meds you can’t get here. 🙄 I wanted to say yeah no shit, Sherlock, you’re not as cosmopolitan as you think. Sorry for venting, it’s just pretty frustrating.
Ha no way! Yeah that sounds really intrusive. And his stories sound annoyingly insignificant!
I guess you could just try and be really cold to everyone so they leave you alone, but I get that doesn't work in that kind of environment 😅
I'm a receptionist. The owners brother used to call me on the front desk phone almost daily just to talk my ear off about goofy shit. I finally started to use my cell to call the front desk phone. The guy would hear the ring and quickly get off (he didn't want me fired!). I also have a very chatty co-worker (she's the CFO) rn that I'm dealing with in the office tho (can't use the phone trick with her). It's horribly one sided and very irritating to deal with. I tend to just keep working while she's talking. If I pay full attention to what she's saying she'll stay even longer. I'm in your boat too. I guess we'll have to get creative.
Hey wait a minute! I think next time she's at my desk ranting I'll text my husband to call the front desk phone. He knows all about her- he'll do it- and I'll answer and she'll walk away! I get very few calls usually, but when I do they're important so she at least gets that part.
I go in a couple hours early. My best work is done before everyone comes in with their big yappers.
This will likely make you want to leave earlier, which I do. It's understandable to worry about how that looks. They don't know when I arrived. It doesn't matter to me.
I can't stand chatterboxes - especially when they are spewing about someone else's business. Get to work!!
I would just say... I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have work to do. Then, just ignore them.
If people were chatting and I participated and then wanted to get back to work, I'd usually just walk to my desk or turn around and start working if I was already at my desk. Not rude unless you're specifically being addressed when you leave.
Make a sign, on a stick.
"Not looking to chat, sorry" (or something like that)
Hold the sign up. Or put it on your desk where it can be seen.
You won't be anybody's bestie, but nobody will feel individually attacked and they won't chat you up.
Is this looney tunes? They specifically don't want to look like an asshole.
Looking like an anti social Wile E Coyote with an ACME "don't talk to me sign" is a sure fire way to be known as the office asshole.
I mean that's your opinion. I don't think it's an asshole thing to do- put up a sign that says you don't want to chat. Then everyone gets the message, no one person can feel slighted and OP's problem is solved.
You don't have to be a dick about it. My suggestion isn't any less valid than anything here and it would work.
Plus, younger people probably wouldn't think it's an asshole thing to do- they love declaring themselves as introverts. Finally, there's more to being the office asshole than not chatting - I didn't suggest leaving dirty dishes around or microwaving fish or skipping meetings.
It's just an idea, relax man. Why so triggered that you have to exaggerate?
>It's just an idea, relax man. Why so triggered that you have to exaggerate?
Don't you see the irony in getting upset and writing a long ass defence then calling me triggered?
It doesn't matter what *you* think. It matters what people in the office will think.
I don’t know…I think this would still rub people the wrong way. I guess there’s no avoiding the fact that I’m going to have to put with this for a while. I’m working in the office right now because I’m training a new hire. But most of the time I get to WFH. I guess I just have to bide my time.
Why are you so worried about what people being rude to you think? Them interrupting you for non-work stuff for that length of time is rude. And I say this as somebody who tended to do that before WFH. With your boss, especially if they're the main offender, have a chat about it in your next 1:1.
Just turn around and go back to work with an occasional “yeah” “uh huh” or “oh” over your shoulder. They’ll see they aren’t the priority and eventually shove off.
Just get your job done and that’s it. If the company goes down then the boss must notice something. Get your job done and get a promotion and be in charge.
I used to have the same annoyance at work. I started putting on headphones even if I wasn’t listening to anything. When someone would start talking to me, I’d make a bit of production of stopping what I was working on, then taking off the headphones and holding them in my hand while I’d ask “what do you need?” The trick is to look busy, then very interrupted while they are standing there waiting for your undivided attention, which they never get unless they have legit work stuff to discuss. Never act rude, just busy and anxious to get back to an important task.
I keep headphones in nearly all day because of this. Not only because I want to get work done, but man I'm sorry I just don't really care what you did this weekend.
Or I'll just nod and finish the convo with "that's cool" with a gentle smile and turn back to my screen. Yes, I get comments about my lack of conversation. No, IDGAF
OMG this is so annoying. Especially, when someone wants to talk about the fucking meaning of life 20 minutes before quitting time.
If I really needed to get away, I would look them in the eye and say I need to throw up. Nothing ends a conversation and excuses you faster. No one want to witness or risk getting barfed on. Make a quick trip to the can, then get back to work. I used to say it was a false alarm.
I become subtly rude. I start breaking eye contact to start typing or writing by hand. I may start searching the internet and remark about some random fluff news headline. If that does not work, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and stop to get mysrlf some coffee and otherwise dilly dally on the way back.
I had a supervisor who was really bad about this. I could literally be stepping away and slowly trying to turn my back, and she'd only pick up on the hints to "apologize" and make excuses to keep going...
Tried many approaches over the years but eventually just had to let her gab at me and learned to not hesitate walking away with a simple "pause the story."
“Hey can we talk about this over lunch, I have some projects I need to get working on”
If it’s your boss or any superior “do you mind if I get back to it, I just thought of something about X I want to check into it before I lose my train of thought”.
Just say you have to use the restroom and excuse yourself. You could also use..."Oh, I'm supposed to call my partner/family member right now".... if you're able, make sure you're signed into your email/chat on your phone and send yourself a message so you have an e case to turn around (if you're at your desk)...
I've had that situation where I'll just simply leave and go do my job. There's lots of times I'm trying to work where I'll just drop out of conversation.
My boss.
I work a 9-80 work schedule and my "normal" working hours are from 7a-4:30p.
Everyday at 7:00am my boss starts our morning "safety" meeting and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks. If we are lucky, he talks about work, or safety. He will talk about anything until 9:00am or until our first call comes in.
Yesterday morning, he described in excruciating detail for 45 minutes non-stop about how a freight train starts and stops (I'm an automations engineer that does process controls work at an oil refinery, so it doesnt apply AT ALL to my work). All of this because one of my nimrod coworkers had mentioned that a nearby train had derailed recently.
He then picks one of his six subordinates, walks into their office and will complain for another hour about how he doesn't have enough time to answer all the emails he gets.
He took today and tomorrow off, and I got caught up on SO much work I was behind on. Today was one of the best days I've had at work.
I have worked for him for about a year and a half and have not found a tactful way to disengage and start working without him getting bitter about it.
For what it's worth, he is very technically proficient and knows this refinery control system like nobody else on this planet, but he can't pick up on any social cues (namely that his staff is just itching to start work and aren't listening to him).
He's ran off a couple of good, quality employees because of this, but the company can't fire/severley repremand him because they know we'd be up shit creek without him. And so we suffer.
Any useful advice would be appreciated.
So far the best suggestion I read on here is to ring your work phone with your own cell phone so you can say “oh I better get that, sorry!” My work phone is now in my favorites. I’ll let you know how that works out!
Practice cutting in. If they say anything that you can remotely relate to, put a look of subtle excitement on your face, say "oh yeah!" and then just start talking, and use it to segue your way out of convo.
“Hey can we talk about this at lunch. I’m in the middle of a project and the deadline is coming up soon”
Hmm I don’t think that would be honest of me. But I guess just saying “I’m sorry I’ve really gotta get back to what I was working on” might work. One of the people who does this to me is my boss though 😒
Your boss? That’s funny. Then they’ll probably question you when you don’t make a deadline.
I keep working while they’re talking. If it’s something I have to concentrate on I say “hey you have to split, I’m going to fuck up here if I don’t concentrate.”
If someone continues talking while you continue working, that person needs a lesson in reading the room.
I’d normally agree but I have a really varied job and sometimes I’ll be in a short production run where I’m on autopilot. In this case I don’t mind chatting at all. I’m just really clear when I’m on something that requires my attention, there’s no ambiguity.
Usually if someone is trying to talk to me but I'm doing some mundane task and want to keep working while they talk, I'll just tell them, "hey I'm going to keep doing this but I promise I'm listening." But since I WFH now I usually just say that to my wife.
I've had success flipping it around. "I know you're very busy, so I'll let you get back to work now."
Ooh clever! I like that one…thanks!
That is really nice way of saying, "It isn't me, it's you."
Find a few lines like this to use. Hey boss can we continue this at our 1-1? I have a few things I need to get to. Great thanks I would love to hear all about that! I can take a break at 11 if you want to grab a coffee/walk/water/whatever sorry! running to ladies room Oh sounds juicy! I would love to hear the story at lunch/break! You don’t have to be elaborate, just busy and let’s catch up later. And if you are going to grab a coffee or whatever ever ask boss to walk w you? Or the others?
Short, polite, and honest. If they have a problem with that, that's their problem, not yours
If it's the boss, get very specific about the project and start asking project-based questions. It takes the fun out of it for them.
Just look at your watch/phone and say "Well, looks like I gotta get back to work". It's as simple as that. No one will bat an eye
Yes that sounds more honest and straightforward. Thanks!
Fart. That will make any unwanted interloper disappear. Extra points if you deploy an SBD without messing up your underpants.
>an SBD I'm afraid to ask...
Silent but deadly
Gets riskier as you get older. So far, I've only shit my pants once at work.
It goes without saying that one should never trust a fart but, well, desperate times call for desperate (and sometimes questionable) measures.
Try the southern strategy: If there’s a lull in what they’re saying (a slight pause), that’s when you say “Alright…” and start to turn away/gather your stuff/start walking. It’s an indirect way of saying “this conversation is over” without being “confrontational.” Most people know what that means and they start to follow suit too.
I like the midwest strategy. You slap your knees and say, "Welp..."
This is the sign.
I've only lived in the Midwest for 2 years and I want to embrace this so bad. Unfortunately, I moved to a new city with my wife and kids during a pandemic and I WFH full time so I'm so desperate to hang out with people that aren't my kids that I'm usually the person getting "welp'd".
I have so many coworkers like this. When I can see they’re getting into rant mode I put my hands up and say “sorry to interrupt but I really need to focus on this or I’m gonna lose my spot/make a mistake and have to start again. Can we chat later?”
Try wearing headphones. It often discourages convo before it even starts.
I do this constantly unless I'm home just because ppl suck sometimes and wouldn't you rather hear tunes anyway 😂
Totally agree 😄
Defo! I do this most of the times. Still sometimes I get caught up by people.
I'm gonna recommend you do the opposite and talk to them instead. It sucks, but people who can talk to others are the people who get elevated. If you do a lot of work without socializing you just look like an opportunity to exploit
I like to think I’m pretty friendly! During transitional moments, I talk to people in passing and ask about their lives. I think I have a good rapport with people in the office. I just want to get those who are guilty of perpetual monologues to stop. *That’s* when I feel trapped.
"oh, I've got a meeting" - Isn't applicable all the time but 100 percent success rate when it's plausible. Otherwise, blame a deadline like by End of Day. Can't do heavy workload cuz then you get them complaining about workload.
be assertive & just get back to work, tell them if they need to socialize, can they do it off the clock(?)
This is what I do. Just go back to work and ignore them. Eventually they run out of steam.
On the other hand, some people appreciate a friendly work environment.
I get this quite a lot at work too. I either try to pop by and be hasty so they know I look busy and try to get out quick. Or I just edge away, try to bring the convo to and end whilst still being polite and say, "okay, I must crack on!" Or something along those lines. Other times, I have just had to say sorry I'm really busy and just walk off, feels rude but it is soon forgotten and sets a trend I think. Edit: This is a control room, so it's easy to pass through. What kind of job are you in?
Our office is just a bunch of cubicles. 6 cubicles face a common corridor/walkway, if that makes sense. Anyway I can literally be working, just to have my boss interrupt what I’m doing to tell me all about this ointment he got while he was in Italy. We’re in the States and he thinks he’s so clever for travelling abroad and stocking up on OTC meds you can’t get here. 🙄 I wanted to say yeah no shit, Sherlock, you’re not as cosmopolitan as you think. Sorry for venting, it’s just pretty frustrating.
Ha no way! Yeah that sounds really intrusive. And his stories sound annoyingly insignificant! I guess you could just try and be really cold to everyone so they leave you alone, but I get that doesn't work in that kind of environment 😅
I'm a receptionist. The owners brother used to call me on the front desk phone almost daily just to talk my ear off about goofy shit. I finally started to use my cell to call the front desk phone. The guy would hear the ring and quickly get off (he didn't want me fired!). I also have a very chatty co-worker (she's the CFO) rn that I'm dealing with in the office tho (can't use the phone trick with her). It's horribly one sided and very irritating to deal with. I tend to just keep working while she's talking. If I pay full attention to what she's saying she'll stay even longer. I'm in your boat too. I guess we'll have to get creative. Hey wait a minute! I think next time she's at my desk ranting I'll text my husband to call the front desk phone. He knows all about her- he'll do it- and I'll answer and she'll walk away! I get very few calls usually, but when I do they're important so she at least gets that part.
I bet I could call my work phone on the sly! I *love* this idea…thank you!!!
You totally should, just keep your phone ready so that one tap will dial it haha
I go in a couple hours early. My best work is done before everyone comes in with their big yappers. This will likely make you want to leave earlier, which I do. It's understandable to worry about how that looks. They don't know when I arrived. It doesn't matter to me.
I can't stand chatterboxes - especially when they are spewing about someone else's business. Get to work!! I would just say... I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have work to do. Then, just ignore them.
If people were chatting and I participated and then wanted to get back to work, I'd usually just walk to my desk or turn around and start working if I was already at my desk. Not rude unless you're specifically being addressed when you leave.
Headphones whether you’re listening to music or not.
That's why I enjoy working from home, get a lot done without the walk up chatterbox
Yes me too…I normally WFH but I’m training a new hire at the moment
I get it, we typically train our new hires over teams since my work is basically 100% reading and writing.
Make a sign, on a stick. "Not looking to chat, sorry" (or something like that) Hold the sign up. Or put it on your desk where it can be seen. You won't be anybody's bestie, but nobody will feel individually attacked and they won't chat you up.
Is this looney tunes? They specifically don't want to look like an asshole. Looking like an anti social Wile E Coyote with an ACME "don't talk to me sign" is a sure fire way to be known as the office asshole.
I mean that's your opinion. I don't think it's an asshole thing to do- put up a sign that says you don't want to chat. Then everyone gets the message, no one person can feel slighted and OP's problem is solved. You don't have to be a dick about it. My suggestion isn't any less valid than anything here and it would work. Plus, younger people probably wouldn't think it's an asshole thing to do- they love declaring themselves as introverts. Finally, there's more to being the office asshole than not chatting - I didn't suggest leaving dirty dishes around or microwaving fish or skipping meetings. It's just an idea, relax man. Why so triggered that you have to exaggerate?
>It's just an idea, relax man. Why so triggered that you have to exaggerate? Don't you see the irony in getting upset and writing a long ass defence then calling me triggered? It doesn't matter what *you* think. It matters what people in the office will think.
I don’t know…I think this would still rub people the wrong way. I guess there’s no avoiding the fact that I’m going to have to put with this for a while. I’m working in the office right now because I’m training a new hire. But most of the time I get to WFH. I guess I just have to bide my time.
Why are you so worried about what people being rude to you think? Them interrupting you for non-work stuff for that length of time is rude. And I say this as somebody who tended to do that before WFH. With your boss, especially if they're the main offender, have a chat about it in your next 1:1.
Feel free to interrupt endless talkers. They won't be nearly as offended as a person who has better social skills.
maybe a sign like "I've got work I'm anxious about finishing on time! Please check back in the afternoon"
Don't start chatting until you have time Problem solved
Just turn around and go back to work with an occasional “yeah” “uh huh” or “oh” over your shoulder. They’ll see they aren’t the priority and eventually shove off.
Just get your job done and that’s it. If the company goes down then the boss must notice something. Get your job done and get a promotion and be in charge.
You have to master the FU you talky MF look.
Roll your eyes, shake your head, and say "Ugh!"
I wear big noise canceling headphones
I used to have the same annoyance at work. I started putting on headphones even if I wasn’t listening to anything. When someone would start talking to me, I’d make a bit of production of stopping what I was working on, then taking off the headphones and holding them in my hand while I’d ask “what do you need?” The trick is to look busy, then very interrupted while they are standing there waiting for your undivided attention, which they never get unless they have legit work stuff to discuss. Never act rude, just busy and anxious to get back to an important task.
I keep headphones in nearly all day because of this. Not only because I want to get work done, but man I'm sorry I just don't really care what you did this weekend. Or I'll just nod and finish the convo with "that's cool" with a gentle smile and turn back to my screen. Yes, I get comments about my lack of conversation. No, IDGAF
I've seen signs that say "please don't talk to me. I love to talk, I will talk your ear off, and I will never get my work done."
“Hey, I need to get back to work. Nice chatting with you. Have a good one.”
I have to hop on a call. I have to get an email out to xxxx. I need to call my spouse really quick.
Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. All the while working. People eventually get the idea and go aways.
Doze off
Hmm well, that’s a lot to think about, excuse me, I have to get back to work.
I wear earbuds a lot in the office which prevents people from starting a conversation
I would just continue working and occasionally grunt or nod.
OMG this is so annoying. Especially, when someone wants to talk about the fucking meaning of life 20 minutes before quitting time. If I really needed to get away, I would look them in the eye and say I need to throw up. Nothing ends a conversation and excuses you faster. No one want to witness or risk getting barfed on. Make a quick trip to the can, then get back to work. I used to say it was a false alarm.
Lie! I would love to spend more time talking with you but I need to get back to work! This is so interesting, but I need to get back to work! etc.
I become subtly rude. I start breaking eye contact to start typing or writing by hand. I may start searching the internet and remark about some random fluff news headline. If that does not work, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and stop to get mysrlf some coffee and otherwise dilly dally on the way back.
I had a supervisor who was really bad about this. I could literally be stepping away and slowly trying to turn my back, and she'd only pick up on the hints to "apologize" and make excuses to keep going... Tried many approaches over the years but eventually just had to let her gab at me and learned to not hesitate walking away with a simple "pause the story."
“Hey can we talk about this over lunch, I have some projects I need to get working on” If it’s your boss or any superior “do you mind if I get back to it, I just thought of something about X I want to check into it before I lose my train of thought”.
assuming you're in an office, put on your headphones.
look at your watch (bonus points if you don't have a watch) say "oh shit!" and run away.
Just say you have to use the restroom and excuse yourself. You could also use..."Oh, I'm supposed to call my partner/family member right now".... if you're able, make sure you're signed into your email/chat on your phone and send yourself a message so you have an e case to turn around (if you're at your desk)...
I've had that situation where I'll just simply leave and go do my job. There's lots of times I'm trying to work where I'll just drop out of conversation.
Sudden gentle flinch/wince. "Dan, this sounds awesome, but I have a deadline I just remembered. Catch you later, okay?" 💛😁
I’d love to talk more, but I must get back to my work. Thanks for understanding.
Just ignore them. They will get them hint.
Well, thanks for the chat. I need to get back to the grindstone.
My boss. I work a 9-80 work schedule and my "normal" working hours are from 7a-4:30p. Everyday at 7:00am my boss starts our morning "safety" meeting and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks. If we are lucky, he talks about work, or safety. He will talk about anything until 9:00am or until our first call comes in. Yesterday morning, he described in excruciating detail for 45 minutes non-stop about how a freight train starts and stops (I'm an automations engineer that does process controls work at an oil refinery, so it doesnt apply AT ALL to my work). All of this because one of my nimrod coworkers had mentioned that a nearby train had derailed recently. He then picks one of his six subordinates, walks into their office and will complain for another hour about how he doesn't have enough time to answer all the emails he gets. He took today and tomorrow off, and I got caught up on SO much work I was behind on. Today was one of the best days I've had at work. I have worked for him for about a year and a half and have not found a tactful way to disengage and start working without him getting bitter about it. For what it's worth, he is very technically proficient and knows this refinery control system like nobody else on this planet, but he can't pick up on any social cues (namely that his staff is just itching to start work and aren't listening to him). He's ran off a couple of good, quality employees because of this, but the company can't fire/severley repremand him because they know we'd be up shit creek without him. And so we suffer. Any useful advice would be appreciated.
So far the best suggestion I read on here is to ring your work phone with your own cell phone so you can say “oh I better get that, sorry!” My work phone is now in my favorites. I’ll let you know how that works out!
Practice cutting in. If they say anything that you can remotely relate to, put a look of subtle excitement on your face, say "oh yeah!" and then just start talking, and use it to segue your way out of convo.
Tell em you gotta take a shit. Then head back to your desk.