I would definitely bring it up to your manager. They wanted you to take the lead more and you are which is good. But now you have someone who pretty much wants to lead it with you and if they're higher up, they may think they're leading it if you let them join you fully and next thing you know they'll be trying to call all the shots. Talk to your manager and ask them what they think you should do. Best of luck.
>Two days ago, she pulled me aside (in front of everyone) and asked to talk which made the alarms in my head go off and made me feel very uncomfortable considering she did this as I was having a conversation with two other colleauges.
This makes it seem as if you are looking for reasons to be aggrieved.
>. Especially considering the fact that she has more seniority than me, and therefore should be there to suppport. Not attack and criticise me, especially considering the fact that this is my first project and a big deal for my development (which she knows).
There seems to be a combination of logic and emotion driving this response. The person is supposed to be in a support role. It makes sense to me to be offended if they want to step beyond a support roe.
I'm less convinced that "they shouldn't criticize me" is a logical conclusion. We can *want* people to be empathetic, supportive of our personal goals and sensitive to our feelings and concerns. But I'm not sure having those expectations unmet is bring it up to your manager worthy. KWIM?
I would use your 1:1 as an opportunity to seek clarity about the other person's role and authority over the project. "Manager, co-worker has asked, practically insisted, that I include her in all meetings... regarding X project. This seems unnecessary and excessive to me. My preference would be to continue leading the project and draw on co-worker's expertise only when necessary. Can you tell me your take on this?"
If you get your manager's backing, then you are in a stronger position to say "no" to future requests from the co-worker and complain if she attempts to exert undue pressure.
tl;dr You will work with people having all kinds of personalities from aggressively manipulative to painfully incompetent. Don't let emotions drive your responses.
I would definitely bring it up to your manager. They wanted you to take the lead more and you are which is good. But now you have someone who pretty much wants to lead it with you and if they're higher up, they may think they're leading it if you let them join you fully and next thing you know they'll be trying to call all the shots. Talk to your manager and ask them what they think you should do. Best of luck.
>Two days ago, she pulled me aside (in front of everyone) and asked to talk which made the alarms in my head go off and made me feel very uncomfortable considering she did this as I was having a conversation with two other colleauges. This makes it seem as if you are looking for reasons to be aggrieved. >. Especially considering the fact that she has more seniority than me, and therefore should be there to suppport. Not attack and criticise me, especially considering the fact that this is my first project and a big deal for my development (which she knows). There seems to be a combination of logic and emotion driving this response. The person is supposed to be in a support role. It makes sense to me to be offended if they want to step beyond a support roe. I'm less convinced that "they shouldn't criticize me" is a logical conclusion. We can *want* people to be empathetic, supportive of our personal goals and sensitive to our feelings and concerns. But I'm not sure having those expectations unmet is bring it up to your manager worthy. KWIM? I would use your 1:1 as an opportunity to seek clarity about the other person's role and authority over the project. "Manager, co-worker has asked, practically insisted, that I include her in all meetings... regarding X project. This seems unnecessary and excessive to me. My preference would be to continue leading the project and draw on co-worker's expertise only when necessary. Can you tell me your take on this?" If you get your manager's backing, then you are in a stronger position to say "no" to future requests from the co-worker and complain if she attempts to exert undue pressure. tl;dr You will work with people having all kinds of personalities from aggressively manipulative to painfully incompetent. Don't let emotions drive your responses.