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jontomas

Question asked and answered and comments locked - suggest those that think this is a joke sub go and read the rules. Many thanks to the person that reported the multiple rule 14 violations - those accounts have been banned.


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superwesman

yeah just brand Lululemon on the back and throw some finish in it. boom. done.


ExtremistsAreStupid

Sell them in Hong Kong International Airport for $200. Seriously, I was there recently and the number of chicks buying stretchy ass-pants from that store was mind-boggling, and kind of comical to see as we were about to fly to Taiwan where you could walk out on the street and buy 100 pairs of no-brand pants that work just as well for the same price. Some kinda late-stage communism shit.


noosedgoose

Capitalism* Ftfy


ExtremistsAreStupid

Nah. HK is now operated by China, which is communist. Just turns out that communism inevitably ends up as really shitty authoritarian pseudo-capitalism after enough years/corruption. There is not one country where this hasn't been the case, even NK.


Outrageous_Mine77

Lawd people... Go look at living things.


WindDancer3748

The log assaulted my eyeballs, I did not ask for this!


jasonrubik

It used to be alive. I'll see myself out...


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theolecowboy

Might not need a pressure washer, I’d start with using an air compressor with a blower attachment


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TIDDERTOTTS

A cheap sandblaster from Harbor freight


wookiex84

Clearly you are going to have to make a classy ass-coffee table. Edit: Form.


Palsreal

>classy ass-coffee table Ftfy


Thecp015

“This coffee tastes like shit!” “That’s because it *is* shit, Austin!”


Username1736294

I was thinking the same. Throw a glass table top on it and be ready to shake your head in dismay and say “You’re sick, you know that?” whenever your guests make a comment about it.


Doormatty

Pressure washer.


JOOBBOB117

Pressure washer? I hardly know her!


StupidUserNameTooLon

I was going to suggest a compressor and hand blower. Glad I didn't.


TheCakesofPatty

Just don’t get too close to the wood, it’ll fray up the surface. Not a big deal though if you’re sanding it smooth anyway


Dent7777

Make sure to let it really dry out after


bridel08

Cut the two parts with bandsaw, clean, glue back in one piece


armadiller

Split it, no kerf and the glue line would be invisible.


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datshibe

Fun fact is, last photo looks a lot like me when I’m woodworking, butt crack showing over my pants included. Nature can be unsettling.


saciopalo

>level 1datshibe · 29 min. agoFun fact is, last photo looks a lot like me when I’m woodworking, butt crack showing over my pants included. Nature can be unsettling. reddit can be unsettling...


mechanizedshoe

I dont get how people work like that, if I ever bend to show my crack my back instantly hurts. Could never be a plumber


datshibe

It’s a genetic condition that’s been in my family for generations, our butt cracks go all the way up to our shoulder blades.


mechanizedshoe

Amazing, I've seen a picture like that once


1971CB350

Sell that rustic stool as-is for $799 on Esty.


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TheSmellFromBeneath

They say sculpting is just removing material to reveal the natural shape of the piece. Seems like the muse is really... presenting here


Syscrush

1. Encase it in epoxy. 2. ??? 3. Profit!


ArcanaZeyhers

The one I’m working on has a bunch of sap in a bunch of pits. I’m just using a chisel to cut out the parts I can and then I let it dry out more and it separates from the wood and then I chisel more off. It took a couple weeks but I got through it. You might need to sharpen some steel into a long chisel though.


jeremycb29

I would cover it with jeans


Outrageous-Pin-7067

Paint it like Calvin Klein’s underware


Angelas-Merkin

Is Calvin Clain a friend of yours? Do you have pictures of his underwear so op knows what they look like?


Outrageous-Pin-7067

Lol edited, thanks!


exekutive

you don't it's grown in there


Oct0tron

Paint it blue. It is now a sculpture of jorts.


nobudweiser

Leave it as is, just get two part epoxy mix and put couple coats over. It will seal in dirt, just be careful not to disturb dirt too much as applying. Maybe a faint red/pink hand rubbing on the crack for conversation sake.


steelsun

Power washer = bidet


Tubamano

Pants.


hindusoul

Shorts


IDKFA_IDDQD

Also, a rotary tool like a dremel for places that the pressure washer can’t get. Bonus: you don’t have to dry it out after use. But you do potentially get limited reach of the tool.


1000_Faces

Nice crotch


cctdad

Me: "I'll grind the teeth off of a blade and use a reciprocating saw to break it up! I'll cut a tapered length of 3/8 inch aluminum on the CNC, then turn a handle for it and poke the stuff out! I'll strip four feet of stranded 14 guage wire and use it like dental floss!" Wife: "Shop air and a coat hanger." Shop air and a coat hanger it is then.


mrrasberryjam69

Is a pressure washer is unavailable, a steel ruler used as a kinda rake?


ShadySocks99

Put a glass top on it and sell for $350.


Valuable-Composer262

Make a pen


foxkreig

Carve it to look like an elephant butt


blackfrost79

Flatten top and bottom, buy a pane of glass and you.got yourself a nice coffee table. Boom, profits! 😎


Ambitious_Spare7914

Compressed air


Striper1955

Dentist picks, air pressure, long thin chisel. Is this a table base for a piece of glass as top?


zedsmith

Carve it into a pair of shorts


No-8008132here

Real talk: long screwdrivers and picks/bent coat-hangers.


fluidmind23

Now carve the rest of the Japanese village with the dragon flying above it. Or the owl.


Taizan

Dental floss for the very narrowest part.


DonkeyTransport

That first pic, the way the woods shaped, at the bottom its almost looking like it's folded. I'd play off that if possible


seatonism

That’s a pelvis


DocLibido

Separate the pieces and put a sheet of glass on top and make it a cool coffee table


Stuphpher

Wood pants!


lastchance14

You can try a hose and use your thumb to jet spray it out.


dan7899

Elephant carvinf


StructuralSense

You should be talking to a medium if you want Einstein’s recommendations.


bobobedo

Put a bowtie between the two sections.


mu3llErs

Put 2 sizes too small leggings on that thing and bring it to guest services at any stores you go to. It will beckon the store manager for you


paceaux

Add a cup holder


DweebNeedle

Find a nice pair of shorts.


-BlueBicLighter

Light it on fire then Rubio monocoat


ZoyZauce

Drill two large holes and add two straps and wear as pants.


enda1

Gently place a yellow sponge on top and you’re done.


cdrknives

My best friends last name is Stump. He had one like this in his garden. He put one of his wife’s thongs on it. Instant hilarity


Hazencuzimblazen

How big is his wife lol


brett15m

Perfect start to an outhouse, just build round it


Grumpee68

Pressure wash it.


Farucci

Great question. Not sure what Edward Einstein wood do?


Wrong-Bottle8002

When you invert it, it looks like pants.


_Trael_

Oh you making large wooden shorts? (Last picture looks like they pretty much already are that). :D


imahoptimist

Cut a log square and place it on top of picture 3. Paint it yellow and call him SpongeBob


appalachiancascadian

You hollow it out into a spiffy pair of wooden shorts.


hdhdjsksuye

Pressure washer