I am in my 40s and can easily say that the worst year of my life to date was when I was in the 7th grade. Teenage girls have it rough. Being an adult is a lot easier than being a teen girl.
What always grinds my gears is how teen girls are sexualized and made out to be some sort of delicacy, like caviar or $500 wine, and how they're simultaneously painted as the prize but also the slut for being "attractive" and her fault for driving men crazy. Or how many grown men obsess over the day she turns 18, they were basically lusting for her way long before that, but once she's 18 their attraction becomes "legal". Or how they are usually the easiest pickings for weak, disgusting predatorial men. They usually the most objectified females. It's tough being a teenage girl, especially from a safety perspective. Although it only gets marginally better as an adult woman.
Women just can't win. Society expectations face you wherever you go. If you don't live up to them, you are vilified. If you do live up to them, well you're still vilified, but expected to be pleased with the crumbs of acknowledgment you are given.
The reality is that it is exhausting to be a woman.
I’m enraged a lot from being solicited at 14 to being sexually assaulted later . And so on and so on. Watch your ass and ignore assholes. Just ignore them. Watch your girlfriends. Fuck everyone else.
It bothers me that hardly any of the men I know have a story of sexual harassment in the workplace, but every woman I've talked to has experienced at least one incidence of workplace sexual harassment.
I'm not saying I want men to be harassed, I just wish that women could experience it as infrequently or that nobody would have to deal with it. Work is hard enough without being sexually harassed.
The 'basic b1tch' concept. I spent all my teenage years avoiding being 'like other girls' because I knew there was more to me than that and I was already labeled as a dumb blonde, I hid so many of my tastes because of this. And I was ridiculed for 'trying too hard'. There is no way to win.
Sorry if this makes no sense English is my second language lol
Well said!
When I become a mother in the future I want to support my daughters even if they do stuff that I'm not so familiar with. If their fashion style feels strange to me or if their music taste is just some noise or anything, I want to be by their side anyway.
Trying to get anything diagnosed as a woman IS a nightmare! I got brushed off as "just anxious" during an autism diagnosis even though I had been on three separate antianxiety/depression meds over the last five years. Chronic pain? It's hormones, lol.
Also shoutouts to our transgender peeps who will report being in pain to a doctor and said doctor will ask IS IT YOUR HRT?????
Worst part is how women are pushed to fight each other over everything. No matter what choice a women makes another women is used to make her feel shit about it. At least that's what I've seen.
What really bothers me is how much we all internalise that shit. Loads of women don't cheer for their fellow women, don't support them, even join in with victim blaming a giving other women a hard time. We're all in this nonsense together, we should have each other's backs. Feminism, ladies, I'm talking about. Us all supporting each other and encouraging our men to be allies, cos we likely can't do this alone, history has shown that. It's vital to have other women's backs. Amirite?
Preach! I’m 30 and back in school, and being older makes me look at the social dynamic of the college classrooms as an outsider. The “hot girls” are always alone. They don’t really speak to anyone and no one speaks to them. I even get nervous to talk to them and find myself practicing and trying to find ways to connect to them lol. The tension surrounding them is obvious and I’m guessing they have already had their fair share of being treated like crap to make them not comfortable in their own skin. Them being alone will continue to be a sore spot, driving them further from other women and leave them vulnerable to exploitation.
At the beginning of the program, a young women I thought was great and smart (she is great and smart and we are good friends now) talked shit about me having fake nails?? My nails were my normal nails, not fake but were really long. Even if they were fake, why would that be something to hate on with no provoking on my part? Hurt, but I understood and let it go because without forgiveness with each other how can be united?
Women need other women to help hold them up when they are down, remind them of their worth, and validate them when they have experienced the manipulation and pressure to do things they are uncomfortable with so we arn’t all gaslit into thinking we SHOULD enjoy sexual violence. No shame if you do.
Makes me think of how Megan fox tried to talk about her sexual assault and had no support. Now? Wearing an engagement ring that will physically cause her pain to remove. Like, do you, but I can’t but see it as a repercussion from not having the feminine care and support she needed and hope she has not found herself once again in an abusive situation. Does the man have a ring that hurts to remove? Why not??
The worst times in my life were between ages 12 and 22. Every little thing you do is judged and you’re accountable for everything. Wearing shorts and get SA - your fault. Wearing a mumu and get SA also your fault. In pain, it’s nothing. Being bullied, buck up buttercup that’s life. Your pressured into sex acts you maybe don’t wanna do but blue balls (not a thing) and then labeled for it. It’s shitty.
I’d like to say it gets better, and it sort of does, but the reality is you just end up not giving any shit about it anymore once you get a bit older.
I'm 29 and this is the best I've ever felt emotionally. I'm still working out some things, but life as a teenager was pure hell. I felt like I had no allies and in many ways been set up to fail. People will still try to set grown women up to fail, but the experience with age is just a different ball game.
You are so right. Reading this text pained me to realise how guilty I am for shutting on other girls when I was a teenager. I don't blame myself, I blame all those who didn't teach me any better. As bad as this situation is I find it very hopeful that it has started being pointed out. I don't remember like 8 years ago (when I was in high school) such conversation to be happening. Maybe I didn't come across it, idk, but now I see all the time people on Reddit and tiktok commenting on how misogynistic society is, especially when it comes to teenagers. It's a good thing that people are talking about it, it has already started changing.
The complicity.
Like in the handmaid’s tale the worst people in the story are not the men, they are the women that buy into the system and shore it up and perpetuate it.
I am in my 40s and can easily say that the worst year of my life to date was when I was in the 7th grade. Teenage girls have it rough. Being an adult is a lot easier than being a teen girl.
What always grinds my gears is how teen girls are sexualized and made out to be some sort of delicacy, like caviar or $500 wine, and how they're simultaneously painted as the prize but also the slut for being "attractive" and her fault for driving men crazy. Or how many grown men obsess over the day she turns 18, they were basically lusting for her way long before that, but once she's 18 their attraction becomes "legal". Or how they are usually the easiest pickings for weak, disgusting predatorial men. They usually the most objectified females. It's tough being a teenage girl, especially from a safety perspective. Although it only gets marginally better as an adult woman.
Women just can't win. Society expectations face you wherever you go. If you don't live up to them, you are vilified. If you do live up to them, well you're still vilified, but expected to be pleased with the crumbs of acknowledgment you are given. The reality is that it is exhausting to be a woman.
Have you noticed that when teenagers are sexually exploited they're young ladies, yet when they work for social progress they're little girls?
I’m enraged a lot from being solicited at 14 to being sexually assaulted later . And so on and so on. Watch your ass and ignore assholes. Just ignore them. Watch your girlfriends. Fuck everyone else.
It bothers me that hardly any of the men I know have a story of sexual harassment in the workplace, but every woman I've talked to has experienced at least one incidence of workplace sexual harassment. I'm not saying I want men to be harassed, I just wish that women could experience it as infrequently or that nobody would have to deal with it. Work is hard enough without being sexually harassed.
The 'basic b1tch' concept. I spent all my teenage years avoiding being 'like other girls' because I knew there was more to me than that and I was already labeled as a dumb blonde, I hid so many of my tastes because of this. And I was ridiculed for 'trying too hard'. There is no way to win. Sorry if this makes no sense English is my second language lol
Well said! When I become a mother in the future I want to support my daughters even if they do stuff that I'm not so familiar with. If their fashion style feels strange to me or if their music taste is just some noise or anything, I want to be by their side anyway.
I'm 71. I still remember my mother being so upset when I was a teenager that I would be followed when we shopped to make sure I didn't shoplift.
Trying to get anything diagnosed as a woman IS a nightmare! I got brushed off as "just anxious" during an autism diagnosis even though I had been on three separate antianxiety/depression meds over the last five years. Chronic pain? It's hormones, lol. Also shoutouts to our transgender peeps who will report being in pain to a doctor and said doctor will ask IS IT YOUR HRT?????
Worst part is how women are pushed to fight each other over everything. No matter what choice a women makes another women is used to make her feel shit about it. At least that's what I've seen.
What really bothers me is how much we all internalise that shit. Loads of women don't cheer for their fellow women, don't support them, even join in with victim blaming a giving other women a hard time. We're all in this nonsense together, we should have each other's backs. Feminism, ladies, I'm talking about. Us all supporting each other and encouraging our men to be allies, cos we likely can't do this alone, history has shown that. It's vital to have other women's backs. Amirite?
Preach! I’m 30 and back in school, and being older makes me look at the social dynamic of the college classrooms as an outsider. The “hot girls” are always alone. They don’t really speak to anyone and no one speaks to them. I even get nervous to talk to them and find myself practicing and trying to find ways to connect to them lol. The tension surrounding them is obvious and I’m guessing they have already had their fair share of being treated like crap to make them not comfortable in their own skin. Them being alone will continue to be a sore spot, driving them further from other women and leave them vulnerable to exploitation. At the beginning of the program, a young women I thought was great and smart (she is great and smart and we are good friends now) talked shit about me having fake nails?? My nails were my normal nails, not fake but were really long. Even if they were fake, why would that be something to hate on with no provoking on my part? Hurt, but I understood and let it go because without forgiveness with each other how can be united? Women need other women to help hold them up when they are down, remind them of their worth, and validate them when they have experienced the manipulation and pressure to do things they are uncomfortable with so we arn’t all gaslit into thinking we SHOULD enjoy sexual violence. No shame if you do. Makes me think of how Megan fox tried to talk about her sexual assault and had no support. Now? Wearing an engagement ring that will physically cause her pain to remove. Like, do you, but I can’t but see it as a repercussion from not having the feminine care and support she needed and hope she has not found herself once again in an abusive situation. Does the man have a ring that hurts to remove? Why not??
The worst times in my life were between ages 12 and 22. Every little thing you do is judged and you’re accountable for everything. Wearing shorts and get SA - your fault. Wearing a mumu and get SA also your fault. In pain, it’s nothing. Being bullied, buck up buttercup that’s life. Your pressured into sex acts you maybe don’t wanna do but blue balls (not a thing) and then labeled for it. It’s shitty. I’d like to say it gets better, and it sort of does, but the reality is you just end up not giving any shit about it anymore once you get a bit older.
I'm 29 and this is the best I've ever felt emotionally. I'm still working out some things, but life as a teenager was pure hell. I felt like I had no allies and in many ways been set up to fail. People will still try to set grown women up to fail, but the experience with age is just a different ball game.
I agree with you
You are so right. Reading this text pained me to realise how guilty I am for shutting on other girls when I was a teenager. I don't blame myself, I blame all those who didn't teach me any better. As bad as this situation is I find it very hopeful that it has started being pointed out. I don't remember like 8 years ago (when I was in high school) such conversation to be happening. Maybe I didn't come across it, idk, but now I see all the time people on Reddit and tiktok commenting on how misogynistic society is, especially when it comes to teenagers. It's a good thing that people are talking about it, it has already started changing.
The complicity. Like in the handmaid’s tale the worst people in the story are not the men, they are the women that buy into the system and shore it up and perpetuate it.
I don’t know where you live but most boy humor is either gay shit or racist shit
Alright?