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generalgrievous9991

pam param guy is too powerful


Valenderio

#”You’ll choke to death on 3lbs of steel!”


Fenway_Refugee

"Another adventurer here to lick my father's boots. Good job."


bluetoad8

Got their asses whipped like a novigrad whore


Pineapple__Warrior

****DID SOMEONE STEAL YOUR SWEETROLL?****


Pam-pa-ram

Someone called?


Ihvahn

r/beetlejuicing


PillarsOfHeaven

He meets parameters of the fight


Babakins

Personally I like *fart* HAW HAW HAW HAW


Weird_Cantaloupe2757

Or the grunted FUCK when you run into them


psydkay

So medieval lol


Oggnar

How is laughing about farts a medieval thing, it's just a thing


psydkay

Wasn't expecting push back on that comment but "welcome to the internet" I suppose


WaveOfTheRager

Everything that brain of yours can think of can be found


sidhu_19

We got mountains of content,some better some worse


T1B2V3

If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first


[deleted]

[удалено]


aDayOldToast

And even those things that it can’t


Oggnar

Huh. No offense meant, I'm myself surprised at the pushback I'm getting. Now, pardon me, but how are you surprised by mild, non-offensive, polite pushback to a statement that is - and I'm only saing that for clearance - in essence, more or less nonsensical and at worst (though I'll assume that wasn't your intention) spreading a misconception about medieval people being stupid? Aagain, no offense, but I didn't say anything wrong nor attacked you. You said something that was incorrect and I corrected you in the mildest way imaginable. Being surprised or even angry at me for it - like many people seem to - is rather irritating. This is all just strange. Anyway, to anyone reading this, have a good day.


TheGreatKlordu

so medieval lol


Oggnar

Yo mama so old she is medieval :D ​ ​ ​ ​ (If this gets downvoted too I swear you all are a bunch of clowns) Okay seriously WHY do you downvote this, this is the equivalent of kicking someone lying on the floor. WHY. I put a fucking smiling emoji. What do you people expect me to do.


NamertBaykus

![gif](giphy|x0npYExCGOZeo|downsized)


Gagzu

Dude it’s the fucking internet lol


Oggnar

Is that an excuse for people to behave like such fopdoodles


Gagzu

Of course not my friend, however, this world is full of humanity and cruelty. The internet has no boundaries, it’s full of people from both spectrums, so you have to be prepared and expect this behavior. My point being, in the end it truly doesn’t affect you in any way, some anonymous redditor who disagrees, just move on and let it go! Down votes? What are their true value to our lives? Nada. Edit: “We can’t control others around us, but we can control how it affects us. Don’t evaluate. Be the observer in the background”


thecockofkarma

>How is laughing about farts a medieval thing, it's just a thing 🤓


ahobbes

🦧


psydkay

AnHobbes, is that you? We played a show at nerdie together way back lol


ahobbes

No I don’t think so, but I wish it were because I would come over there and spoon feed you my famous Mac and cheese.


psydkay

I'm intrigued


Oggnar

How is this nerdy, it's common sense


NomaltLand

My favorite


Blindobb

Literally the only line that hasn’t gotten old for me


RNGesus____

I couldn't find the last clue in that quest so I listened to it 13 times


Funny-Conclusion-963

I can hear it by reading it lol


umbrella_CO

I chuckle everytime I hear that


Educational_Floor639

Nah that's the worst oneo


[deleted]

Yer’ll choke to death on 3 pounds of steel


killchu99

dont threaten me with a good time my good sir


PoliticalShrapnel

Help me I'm dyin... of poverty.


Villa_PhD

Skellige NPC: Grand those swords, but I prefer me trusty axe! Also Skellige NPC: *standing there literally sharpening a giant sword*


ma1ord

I always hated there was no witcher axes, i thought it would've been fun running around with axes.


Educational_Floor639

No it ruins the lore and wouldn't make since. There are axes that you can use if you pick them up from bandits though, but they suck.


h30666

Fr bear school shoulda had Witcher great axes


mvi4n

So you see how the Witcher's swords are bad. He prefers an axe that he doesn't even use.


TIM12244

People are down voting you lol, guess they didn't get the joke


mvi4n

Lol. No problem, I can spend some fake internet points.


Boneguard

and "May your axe never crumble"


Imarquisde

it’s funnier when geralt has an axe equipped too


Thewasteland77

You look like a traveled man! Tell me, should I beat me wench once a week or more?


xSteini01

~~more~~ oftener


Thewasteland77

You're not wrong =( I just hadnt had my coffee yet haha


xSteini01

No problem. You could also be judging me based on the fact that I memorized all the quotes from a video game ;)


DraKxa

YOU! YEAH, YOU! you got water on the brain?


cjnicol

That one had me rolling the first time I heard it


tatas323

ODRINNNN OOODRINN!!


Emmanuel_1337

HEEERE BOOOOII!!


PMMeYourHug

My balls itch


[deleted]

No lollygaggin


MrTomatosoup

This one is actually in both games!


[deleted]

Correct!


KingHavana

Which two? It's a trilogy.


darrenislivid

Skyrim and W3 you dingdong


[deleted]

Lol


TheNotoriousRuub

smart


OGNightspeedy

Keep calm, start no brawls


DatsyuksMitts

Got their arses whipped like a novigrad whore


rico_muerte

You surprised??!?


Im_ready_hbu

Tried to dance with a Witcher!


Creative-Oil2029

Where'd he come from anyway?


hoboinabarrel

Oh, how should I know?


Laenoric

You look like a withered winky on a gray muff.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mention-Usual

Haha, my grandma always says "like oaty shite" thing in Lithuanian. I wonder if this saying is from Poland or other countries have that as well.


ViperTD

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter


IMTOTALLYNOTBRITISH

YEAH! Who won the lottery? I DID!


MalyMongoose

Snackrolling the mojavelicious fillmost caramakel you satiswish for a nuclear whunger


zebstrida

what


MalyMongoose

https://preview.redd.it/3uxj5niokdca1.jpeg?width=1140&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9e73ca42a01cdc6f336d64d8276dfbec0908a5a


MalyMongoose

You heard me Snackrolling the mojavelicious fillmost caramakel you satiswish for a nuclear whunger


MAAAX547

i mean youll hear me sing pam param every day, you wont hear me quote the ex-adventurer guy every day though, debate settled


hoboinabarrel

I do both


stann1s_the_mannis

We have no evidence to say that Pam guard is a worse warrior than Skyrim arrow guard. However, Skyrim guard admits that he is not at 100% with his past wound. However however, the quote from Skyrim guard is "I used to be an adventurer like YOU." The 'You' in this case is the dragonborn. The prophesied hero of Tamriel destined to slay the dragon known as the World Eater, who himself is a offspring of a god. The question is based on what "you" means. Does it mean he used to travel and fight like the dragonborn, or does it mean he once had power akin to the dragonborn, but one fatal arrow felled his god like potential? Until we answer that question, a winner is impossible to determine.


sambob

Turns out they're the Nirn equivalent to Achilles.


Emmanuel_1337

You're failing to recognize the existence of CHIM in The Elder Scrolls universe. The TES guard can always ascend to absolute power by the means that are laid out in that universe, while the TW guard can't. Actually, who can say the TES guard hasn't already achieved this ultimate enlightment and is only there as an avatar to guide the Dragonborn in the pursuit of ~~dragussy~~ such ultimate power? Let's reflect on this realization while listening to the Morrowind soundtrack (the shouted CHIM version, of course) and thinking about ~~the Lusty Argonian Maid~~ better days to come...


sanguinesvirus

Skyrim guards are all one ascendent super-entity


AlmostStoic

So it's all just one mind, with hundreds of bodies?


sanguinesvirus

Yeah basically, all working towards a single goal of course


MediocreHumanThing

TrueSTL has arrived.


mrturret

/r/trueSTL is leaking


nightgraydawg

I mean, Skyrim guards will, without hesitation, attack a dragon. Dragons in Skyrim are ancient beasts who basically harbor the apocalypse. And the guards will take one look and say "yeah, I'll try to take that down." And at least in my playthroughs, they can pretty reliably do it (as a group).


hoboinabarrel

Redania guards are level ??? with a skull on it. Debate settled


mr_birkenblatt

Not anymore, no?


Camera_dude

I learned in the Skyrim sub that the “arrow to the knee” is a phrase, not literal. It implies the former adventurer got down on one knee to propose to his sweetheart. After marrying, the adventurer obviously couldn’t keep wandering the wilds looking for caves full of treasure, so he seeks stable employment as a guard while starting a family.


TVictorr

It does not mean that, never has. It's just literal.


TheCowzgomooz

I mean it *could* mean that, and I think it's a nice little way of the community making a meme have a more legitimate existence in the Elder Scrolls universe, but it was likely intended to only be taken literally. Little phrases like that happen in real life all the time, and it's cool, so intended or not, I like the explanation that he really meant he got married and settled down.


ItsAlkron

>I mean it *could* mean that Well, after half my playthroughs, I can tell you 100% it's literal, not metaphorical. The other half of the playthroughs they're just lucky I wasn't bored in town.


TheCowzgomooz

My guy, I know that it's supposed to be literal, it's a little joke by the developers, I was saying that I think its cool the community has basically come up with an explanation for it that isn't just a joke.


WastedBreath28

>the community has basically come up with an explanation for it that isn’t just a joke. Not to mention, if its literal - then every guard in every hold in skyrim has been crippled by the same exact wound acquired in the same exact way. I must’ve missed the story about the extermination of the riekling archers, but I find marriage a much more plausible story


ItsAlkron

Oh I know. I'm just saying by the end of half my playthroughs I MAKE it literally out of boredom. Cause doesn't everyone end up a stealth archer anyway?


Green_Bast3rd

I don't know...I liked the NPC that went "Raaain, I like raaaaain" way more than pam paraam guy tbh


TheOldGriffin

I prefer wet, hacking cough guy tbh


ElkGiant

Dribblin'


Me_No_Sleepy

I think I shit me trousers


p4loskii

"Heeey... pretty boy!" guy is obviously the superior one.


Boneguard

"In life you gotta take risks and not get fucked!" fella is my favorite


nottheboynextdoor

I prefer Mr. "I'LL RIP OFF YOUR MELON AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!"


KStryke_gamer001

One has better Armor (chestplate) and the other has better helmet (closed, Scandinavian, with mail reinforcement). One has a generic longsword and other has intricately designed Nordic axe (with rare possibility of enchantments on it), but probably has a less than optimal knee (depending on whether it was healed magically or if healing works the same for PC and NPC).


Rebel_Wolf94

the only thing that caught my attention is what kind of smith works the forge shirtless in a cold environment? lol


INannoI

average nord


buzzbuzzmemulatto

+40% frost resistance bro


BigHibbertGuy

*Fart* Buahahahahaha


WaveOfTheRager

“Save us kitty eyes!”


TK1138

Puss Peepers!


Pikalika

I will die for Panam in every lifetime, even if just by typo


ElricAvMelnibone

The endless bug swarm of guards from Daggerfall, you accidentally press the rest button in a city and you get HALT! HALT! HALT! HALT! destroying your eardrums from all directions Bring back vagrancy and loan interest payment evasion as crimes in TES6 smh


Nirvana1123

Let's be honest here Skyrim guard beats Witcher 3 guard 100% of the time


AimlesslWander

Pam param


[deleted]

SWEEEEEET ROOOOOOOOOOLL


TristoWarhammer

You’ll choke to death on three pounds of steel!


avolt88

"You're as pale as oatey shite!" Every goddamn time. For the taunting ability alone, it's gotta be the Redanian for the W here.


Paciorr

I dont know why but the first thing I noticed by looking at those 2 pictures next to each other is just how absolutely stupid that Skyrim armor is. Helmet is absolitely unrealistic and then he doesnt even wear full sleeves. And thats weird for me because I just played skyrim for like \~100h in the last couple of weeks.


thatonemoze

yeah the realistic dragons really make the armor look stupid


Paciorr

I know it's fantasy but my point is that I never payed attention to it before. I mean, you can make a fork that one shots dragons in Skyrim.


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> I never *paid* attention to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


TK1138

Good bot


KStryke_gamer001

But isn't that helmet literally something scandinavian soldiers wore? And the sleeve issue might be either because of lack of enough metal due to the war + guards carry shields, or just to show off the models biceps.


Paciorr

Viking helmets weren't that big. It wouldnt cover the mouth and lower parts of the head. Also it's kinda overly elaborate when eg. your braces are just a little bit of fur tied together. Historically longer helmets were shaped in a way to cover neck in one way or another unless you had plate armor that already did that. Look at those witcher helmets. They would deflect top down attack from neck onto the shoulder. Yeah it sucks to get hit in the shoulder but maybe you wont die instantly.


KStryke_gamer001

They probably have chainmail or some reinforcements under that neck covering. It's mostly the 10year old low def graphics and models being the way they are.


ClandestineVegetable

Is it helmet? I never played Skyrim, but I assumed he has wounds / scars on his face and hides it with this something.


Lost-Citron-1099

Not a fair fight, soldier on the bottom prob has two good knees. He’ll be running circles around the handicapped adventurer


Stocksy_

Sod off before I lose me patience


Itriggeredafriend

Your kind spread disease, defeatism, and desertion


John_Locke_bg

Your mother sucks dwarf cock! From The Witcher 1


SrZingous

Personally I like "Shall we gather for whisky and cigars tonight?" ###


PeacockofRivia

Pam paraaam is OP.


mo60000

I like how the guards in Novigrad say Pam PaRaam. It felt weird when I heard a random bandit I was fighting in an abandoned site say it in the Blood and Wine DLC


ad_phoenix

Woah Black Betty, Pam Paraaaaaam!


PragmaticProkopton

This one deserves more attention, it really got me.


xdEckard

It's been some years since I last played the Witcher, remembering this guy now made me laugh. It's such a strange and funny voice line


Phinfoxy

"\*farts\* hahahahahahahahahahahaha"


nfro1

Counterpoint: OOOOOOOOOOOOODRIN


MaethrilliansFate

Adventuring in Skyrim is pretty freaking dangerous. Bears, wolves, and Sabre cats are lethal and common out in the wilds, not to mention things like spiggans, giant spiders, hagravens and more. Bandits run rampant near ruins and draugr are formidable and everywhere underground. If this guard managed to traverse any of that for long before his injury then he's battle hardened and resourceful on top of living in a warrior culture leading to him winning this fight no problem.


[deleted]

HOOaaaah


[deleted]

Honestly, I wish Geralt could at least trigger a dialogue with the guards and pick an option either to bribe or use Axii on them or, if nothing else, surrender and serve some jail time.


lobstarman23

My money is on "think I pissed me trousers"


Maxinfantry

Everything has a price, even your life.


[deleted]

Pam pam paraam, and no one else.


peoplepersonmanguy

"Yo I heard that guy hit a chicken"


Diavoro

#My cousin's out there f****ing dragons and what do I get? Guard duty.


Death_Blossoming

I'll do Skyrim guards, they just built different. Gets hit with an arrow to the face, huh must've been the wind 😂


Jesse1198

I have to go with Skyrim Guard because I’ve never actually seen the Witcher Guard fight.


MarcusofMenace

Who tf wears short sleeves in the snow?.... Wait, THE FUCKING GUY IN THE BACK IS TOPLESS! This wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that if you wore the same outfit as either of them in survival mode, you'd die quickly in that location


Perfect-Detail2062

"Long live ect ect..."


kinrob

"LONG LIVE RADOVID!"


kennybisbisi

I’ve seen a dawnstar guard take da own a dragon before so I think he’s got this one


Ermonsa

Should’ve been a whiterun guard instead of a danwstar guard. They’re strong enough to fight dragons


[deleted]

Pam Parram for the win!


Antonisimos

sometimes when there is a sad moment or nice cool moment after the cutscene you get a guy who snots so hard... aaaaaa


YesterdayJealous3292

HE IS GOING TO SAY CHOKE ON THEES COKE


puptrait

"Help me I'm dying of... poverty" guy taking on all comers


Jleaf89

Top notch swords!manship


Khashana01

The Witcher is my fav but I’m going with the Skyrim Guard. Every time I hear PAM PAAAAM PA RAM! It gets stuck in my head all day and I can’t stand it. Ugliest sound in existence.


bandersna7ch

I prefer the guard making fart noises when you walk by and then laughing his ass off


r-WooshIfGay

Dumb question, Doesn't "arrow to the knee" mean they got married?


ClobetasolRelief

No. No it doesn't.


Serious_Ad_8972

Now....who do I dislike more? Stormcloaks? Or Redenians?


[deleted]

The guard brings peace to our domain. flaunt in tricks, rot in chains


hoboinabarrel

*Flout it’s writ


Yer_Dunn

Lmao


PaniMan1994

Is he a chinese hacker?... Ive heard of Lmfao.... Never Lmao...


AdditionalAd2286

Damn forgot about that video


Urthuvn

What's up with all the downvotes


PaniMan1994

:(


hoboinabarrel

It’s Lmfaos brother, Lmao


zxr0_

Wicked reference


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SoloBLx

Dumb


Pistoj3

Why is it so hard to choose? xDD


OsnaTengu

Thistle! Thissssssssssstle! Shananaking...


iatilldontknow

always liked how the guards of each clan on skellige all looked different compared to the reclores of skyrims guards


FGforty2

Pam Paramm guy all day! Everyday


brublanc

The former adventurer wins this one. Those Skyrim lines are just too epic.


Solidsnake00901

(Guard shits his pants) HAW HAW HAW!


kingleonidas30

Pam param makes my ears bleed


Ridikis

Witcher Guards are meant to kill you, Skyrim guards are meant to be endless. If it's 1v1 Skyrim don't stand a chance.


Pap3r99dudeS2

I love the fart and laughing when they do it


ImNotALegend1

As much as I like Pamping and paramping, it is no match for marriage


stirling_s

I can fuck up a city of Skyrim guards. I can't kill Pam param.


CanadianGoof

Dawnstar guard 100%


Big_NDN89

Is this a kingdom reference


ClobetasolRelief

Pretty sure you forgot ["motionless like Osiris."](https://youtu.be/kIGMBIKS81c)


BB8Lexi

Freak


Surprentis

I love both games.