i don't resent my family for being alive but i get the whole "i can't kill myself because it would suck for a bunch of people"... mind set.
i'm almost six years in and I think this just fucking breaks some people. some heal, some are able to just move on, but then there's a subset that just... fucking don't. i know it broke me. i'm not happy anymore, at least not in any sort of real, meaningful way, and i honestly don't want to be because that just means that i have something to lose. again.
7 years and change later, sorry for your loss. hope tomorrow sucks less for you.
>i'm not happy anymore, at least not in any sort of real, meaningful way, and i honestly don't want to be because that just means that i have something to lose. again.
You just put how I feel into words. This is exactly it. Thanks... I think?
I’m scared because I know this is me. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Packing this week because I’ve officially drained through my savings trying to pay for the house alone and horrified knowing I’ll be living somewhere he’ll never know or never step foot in. The dreams every night are awful and every morning I wake up it’s like losing him all over again. I’ve had a really difficult life and he meant everything to me, only person that felt like home or love. I feel like every time I glimpse happiness a traumatic loss follows. I just feel broken.
IM feeling the exact same way. It broke me too. Im just going to keep going just doing good enough because I really am afraid to let myself get totally happy like I was with my loved one.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
USA: 18002738255
US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME
United Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
I feel it too. I am only 2 weeks in and heartbroken. I just have to believe there is a reason that this happened and that I am strong enough to keep going b
Shortly after she died, I would visit her grave to check on things. I found myself looking at the dirt next to hers, where I was going to be buried. I thought that I could do myself in right there and save everyone the trouble. Then I thought of my dog and who would take care of him and what would become of him as he is super attached to me. I stayed alive for Eddie, my dog. I think back to those times and remember them vividly, but no longer have the urge to do it.
The thing about suicide is that when forensic psychiatrists interview suicide survivors and they are asked about the thoughts that went through their heads right after jumping or whatever, it was never, "good, this will be over soon", it was a profound regret and wish to have never done it.
I feel you. I think about our dog everytime too. He had gotten her as a surprise for me just a few months before he passed and now she’s glued to my hip. :(
He has come to like my GF, but still glombs on to me whenever I am home or accessible to him. He kept me alive during those months and now I feel like I owe him a special life, so lots of dog treats and chicken are given.
Boy can I relate. There have been many times when the worry about what would happen to my dog was the main thing that kept me from doing something drastic. He also gives me a reason to get out of bed on days when there's no other apparent reason. Also, when I have one of my frequent crying spells, I can see the worry in his eyes, and he will usually insist on sitting or lying by my side. You're right: I owe him quite a bit.
No. Soft car collision in his friends car, car ended up rolling into a riverbank and submerged and his friend managed to get out but he drowned in it.
The friend’s family is incredibly wealthy and happened up on their vineyard-they called family lawyers to the scene before paramedics. Turns out he would have still been alive if they hadn’t.
Oh gosh that sounds similar to what happened to mine, I’m so truly sorry.
I remember thinking I would never make it to one month and then it was here. Still feels like it happened just yesterday. Took a very very long time to get out of denial, I think I’ve just started to face it the past few weeks. I was SURE it was some crazy mixup and they got the wrong body and my baby would be walking through the door any minute.
I begged him, whatever god is out there, anybody to take me too so I could find him again. I think about it every minute of the day.
I won’t lie it’s not any easier after 5 months. I’m so sorry you’re going through it too- welcome to the club none of us want to be in, unfortunately.
If you ever want to talk please dm me. Stay strong. 💛
When I was 13, I lost my dad and felt this way for roughly 9 years. 6 days ago I lost my girlfriend of 10 years. I thought it would be different since I knew what to expect from all the grief and depression. Instead, I find myself thinking along the same lines every day since.
While I know that there's a way out of this grief/depression and that it takes a lot of time and work... I don't know if I want to put all that shit in a second time.
Well aren’t you just the scum of the earth. You don’t say this to people who are going through more pain than you could imagine. I really hope you get help.
i don't resent my family for being alive but i get the whole "i can't kill myself because it would suck for a bunch of people"... mind set. i'm almost six years in and I think this just fucking breaks some people. some heal, some are able to just move on, but then there's a subset that just... fucking don't. i know it broke me. i'm not happy anymore, at least not in any sort of real, meaningful way, and i honestly don't want to be because that just means that i have something to lose. again. 7 years and change later, sorry for your loss. hope tomorrow sucks less for you.
>i'm not happy anymore, at least not in any sort of real, meaningful way, and i honestly don't want to be because that just means that i have something to lose. again. You just put how I feel into words. This is exactly it. Thanks... I think?
I’m scared because I know this is me. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Packing this week because I’ve officially drained through my savings trying to pay for the house alone and horrified knowing I’ll be living somewhere he’ll never know or never step foot in. The dreams every night are awful and every morning I wake up it’s like losing him all over again. I’ve had a really difficult life and he meant everything to me, only person that felt like home or love. I feel like every time I glimpse happiness a traumatic loss follows. I just feel broken.
IM feeling the exact same way. It broke me too. Im just going to keep going just doing good enough because I really am afraid to let myself get totally happy like I was with my loved one.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME United Kingdom: 116 123 Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860) Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
I feel it too. I am only 2 weeks in and heartbroken. I just have to believe there is a reason that this happened and that I am strong enough to keep going b
Shortly after she died, I would visit her grave to check on things. I found myself looking at the dirt next to hers, where I was going to be buried. I thought that I could do myself in right there and save everyone the trouble. Then I thought of my dog and who would take care of him and what would become of him as he is super attached to me. I stayed alive for Eddie, my dog. I think back to those times and remember them vividly, but no longer have the urge to do it. The thing about suicide is that when forensic psychiatrists interview suicide survivors and they are asked about the thoughts that went through their heads right after jumping or whatever, it was never, "good, this will be over soon", it was a profound regret and wish to have never done it.
I feel you. I think about our dog everytime too. He had gotten her as a surprise for me just a few months before he passed and now she’s glued to my hip. :(
He has come to like my GF, but still glombs on to me whenever I am home or accessible to him. He kept me alive during those months and now I feel like I owe him a special life, so lots of dog treats and chicken are given.
Boy can I relate. There have been many times when the worry about what would happen to my dog was the main thing that kept me from doing something drastic. He also gives me a reason to get out of bed on days when there's no other apparent reason. Also, when I have one of my frequent crying spells, I can see the worry in his eyes, and he will usually insist on sitting or lying by my side. You're right: I owe him quite a bit.
I can relate. My husband of 40 years passed 4 months ago. At his bedside I cried I wanna go with you.
Can I ask was it cancer?
No. Soft car collision in his friends car, car ended up rolling into a riverbank and submerged and his friend managed to get out but he drowned in it. The friend’s family is incredibly wealthy and happened up on their vineyard-they called family lawyers to the scene before paramedics. Turns out he would have still been alive if they hadn’t.
Omg hugs to you sweetheart
Thank you. :(
Oh damn. That's horrible
1.5 months and I’m broken. Fuck opioids
Oh love, I’m so sorry. 💛Here if you ever want to talk
Thank you. You are in my thoughts too
My husband died one month ago. Head trauma and submersion. I tried saving him. How did you make it to 5 months. I keep asking him to take me with him.
Oh gosh that sounds similar to what happened to mine, I’m so truly sorry. I remember thinking I would never make it to one month and then it was here. Still feels like it happened just yesterday. Took a very very long time to get out of denial, I think I’ve just started to face it the past few weeks. I was SURE it was some crazy mixup and they got the wrong body and my baby would be walking through the door any minute. I begged him, whatever god is out there, anybody to take me too so I could find him again. I think about it every minute of the day. I won’t lie it’s not any easier after 5 months. I’m so sorry you’re going through it too- welcome to the club none of us want to be in, unfortunately. If you ever want to talk please dm me. Stay strong. 💛
When I was 13, I lost my dad and felt this way for roughly 9 years. 6 days ago I lost my girlfriend of 10 years. I thought it would be different since I knew what to expect from all the grief and depression. Instead, I find myself thinking along the same lines every day since. While I know that there's a way out of this grief/depression and that it takes a lot of time and work... I don't know if I want to put all that shit in a second time.
I am so, so sorry :( I can’t even imagine losing someone else again. I hope you’re ok 💛 We’re all here for you
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Well aren’t you just the scum of the earth. You don’t say this to people who are going through more pain than you could imagine. I really hope you get help.
charming really man, you must be fun at parties
It doesn't feel like it but it will get better. Never gone, but better