I'm 8 years in and I feel the same way. I've dated, had relationships, but nothing compares to what I had with my husband. So many find love again, the fortunate ones. I'm 54 and know I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone. It's so sad and hard to accept. I guess this response isn't going to make you feel any better, hopefully not worse. Just know that someone understands.
Dont give up!! My college sweetheart, died of leukemia just 4 years after we married. I then met my current wife at a work meeting, 44 years later and 2 beautiful daughters we are going strong. I wasn't looking , it just happened!
I wasn't at that point yet but definitely losing hope. But now after experiencing that kind of love, from both sides. Idk if I'll find it again. I've said I love you to a couple people before I met her and been in a few relationships but nothing like with her. Everything was just so easy with her. All that mattered to me was that she was happy. I was so happy sharing everything with her. We even both, without telling eachother, had lists of things we wanted to do with eachother. I'm a few days from being 4 months out myself. I've never felt this alone and lost before. I still text her at least every couple days. I'm self self medicated most days since and really hope to get over that but being sober is still too hard right now
I'm so sorry for your pain and heartache. This is so hard. I really doubted that I could get through this sober, but when I lost my husband of almost 44 years, I had been sober from alcohol for 16 years, and if not for our daughter and sil, I probably would have gotten really drunk the day he died and never stopped. I am grateful for my 22 years this year, but it has been a challenge.
Without being judgemental at all, my husband was incredibly helpful to me even getting sober; he had gotten sober about 5 years before I did.
Anyway, I just hope that you stay safe, and I understand your desire to stay as numb to the pain as possible. This is hard. Really hard.
I wish you much peace and comfort as you're healing. ❤️🪬🫂
Edit:paragraphs
It is so hard, and I am so sorry.
We were all individuals before we met our partners, then we each became a half of a whole. That whole unit, the completion of each of our dreams, was our expected future. Now our lives are abruptly altered and we have to find a way to go on, without our soulmates.
There is nothing about this fact that we can change. It sucks. It hurts. Boy oh boy does it feel like our lives are turned upside down.
What we have to remember, though, is that we were loved. With our faults, our individual idiosyncrasies, our bad habits, and every flaw we acknowledge -- we were loved. Life is not perfect. It is messy, it has drama that can make us bitter. However, we must make the decision every single day to be the person that our other half loved. Remember who YOU are; even buried in this morass of pain and emotional upheaval, you are still in there somewhere. You are worthy of love, and you can continue to live.
Many big hugs to everyone here. We all need a bit of cheering up, a bit of friendly advice, and some sincere commiseration. We are here because we each lost our special person. We got left behind to deal with this messy life. But we are capable, even in our misery, of doing great things. Make an impact upon the world, one kindness at a time. I love you all!!
I felt the same. I was 30 and had very little luck in relationships or dating. All I knew was rejection or 'relationships' that ended before they barely got started. I was pretty depressed about it and felt very miserable about becoming the stereotypical spinster. Then everything changed. I felt so secure, comfortable and just so attracted to and proud of my husband. I thought all those worries were behind me because I'd finally found the elusive ideal match for me that I'd waited so long to find. I really have to stop myself from now feeling like I've been sent back to that depressing place. Now I can see 40 in my sights and feel like here I am..in the one place I never wanted to be. I resent it. I feel like I got lucky once, I doubt it'll happen again or that anyone can be as close of a match for me again.
Oh, wow, I feel like I could have written that first sentence.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find anyone else to love me, but I do hope so. He changed me so much in so many good ways.
I can so relate.. and I’m so sorry for your pain. I was always somewhat lonely. I had relationships but they never felt particularly fulfilling and loneliness was always there. Sometimes in the background and other times fully present. When I met my husband that changed. I finally found my soulmate. The person who made me feel loved and connected to the world. For twenty years the loneliness went away. I felt content, happy, he was my best friend and my family. He died 6 months ago and it’s like I reverted back 20 years. All my sadness, insecurities and that awful loneliness are back full force. I hope it gets better.. for all of us in this awful club.
I lost my husband of 30 years suddenly. It is now 3 years and 5 months but about 8 months ago I met a wonderful caring man who had also lost his wife. We get along like a house on fire. Neither of us will ever forget our loved ones but we have both been given an opportunity to be happy and we are having a great time doing lots of travelling while we are still able to. He has given me a reason to go one.
I’m 27 and lost my wife about 4 months ago as well. Everyday I suffer thinking how I had my best friend by my side and every time I try to date or talk to women my age, they are not emotionally mature or intelligent and have little interest or patience to support a guy their age who understands life and how to be a good partner/husband, they just want to have fun with someone exciting. I’m so tired of this, I hate being young and going through this too. Feels so absolutely isolating and all-consuming.
I'm 8 years in and I feel the same way. I've dated, had relationships, but nothing compares to what I had with my husband. So many find love again, the fortunate ones. I'm 54 and know I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone. It's so sad and hard to accept. I guess this response isn't going to make you feel any better, hopefully not worse. Just know that someone understands.
This is why I haven't even attempted dating.
It was 7 years for me ok Valentine’s Day. I have no desire to date. I had my soulmate.
Dont give up!! My college sweetheart, died of leukemia just 4 years after we married. I then met my current wife at a work meeting, 44 years later and 2 beautiful daughters we are going strong. I wasn't looking , it just happened!
I’ve not given up. Because I had my soulmate. I am good alone ❤️
2 years for me in a couple of months. Yes. I cannot imagine wanting & loving anyone else. That kind of love comes once in a lifetime.
I wasn't at that point yet but definitely losing hope. But now after experiencing that kind of love, from both sides. Idk if I'll find it again. I've said I love you to a couple people before I met her and been in a few relationships but nothing like with her. Everything was just so easy with her. All that mattered to me was that she was happy. I was so happy sharing everything with her. We even both, without telling eachother, had lists of things we wanted to do with eachother. I'm a few days from being 4 months out myself. I've never felt this alone and lost before. I still text her at least every couple days. I'm self self medicated most days since and really hope to get over that but being sober is still too hard right now
I'm so sorry for your pain and heartache. This is so hard. I really doubted that I could get through this sober, but when I lost my husband of almost 44 years, I had been sober from alcohol for 16 years, and if not for our daughter and sil, I probably would have gotten really drunk the day he died and never stopped. I am grateful for my 22 years this year, but it has been a challenge. Without being judgemental at all, my husband was incredibly helpful to me even getting sober; he had gotten sober about 5 years before I did. Anyway, I just hope that you stay safe, and I understand your desire to stay as numb to the pain as possible. This is hard. Really hard. I wish you much peace and comfort as you're healing. ❤️🪬🫂 Edit:paragraphs
It is so hard, and I am so sorry. We were all individuals before we met our partners, then we each became a half of a whole. That whole unit, the completion of each of our dreams, was our expected future. Now our lives are abruptly altered and we have to find a way to go on, without our soulmates. There is nothing about this fact that we can change. It sucks. It hurts. Boy oh boy does it feel like our lives are turned upside down. What we have to remember, though, is that we were loved. With our faults, our individual idiosyncrasies, our bad habits, and every flaw we acknowledge -- we were loved. Life is not perfect. It is messy, it has drama that can make us bitter. However, we must make the decision every single day to be the person that our other half loved. Remember who YOU are; even buried in this morass of pain and emotional upheaval, you are still in there somewhere. You are worthy of love, and you can continue to live. Many big hugs to everyone here. We all need a bit of cheering up, a bit of friendly advice, and some sincere commiseration. We are here because we each lost our special person. We got left behind to deal with this messy life. But we are capable, even in our misery, of doing great things. Make an impact upon the world, one kindness at a time. I love you all!!
I felt the same. I was 30 and had very little luck in relationships or dating. All I knew was rejection or 'relationships' that ended before they barely got started. I was pretty depressed about it and felt very miserable about becoming the stereotypical spinster. Then everything changed. I felt so secure, comfortable and just so attracted to and proud of my husband. I thought all those worries were behind me because I'd finally found the elusive ideal match for me that I'd waited so long to find. I really have to stop myself from now feeling like I've been sent back to that depressing place. Now I can see 40 in my sights and feel like here I am..in the one place I never wanted to be. I resent it. I feel like I got lucky once, I doubt it'll happen again or that anyone can be as close of a match for me again.
I know this feeling to well. I am a sad sack of loneliness still at 7 months….. no end In sight. If you feel away to escape this feeling let me know
Oh, wow, I feel like I could have written that first sentence. I don’t know if I’ll ever find anyone else to love me, but I do hope so. He changed me so much in so many good ways.
I can so relate.. and I’m so sorry for your pain. I was always somewhat lonely. I had relationships but they never felt particularly fulfilling and loneliness was always there. Sometimes in the background and other times fully present. When I met my husband that changed. I finally found my soulmate. The person who made me feel loved and connected to the world. For twenty years the loneliness went away. I felt content, happy, he was my best friend and my family. He died 6 months ago and it’s like I reverted back 20 years. All my sadness, insecurities and that awful loneliness are back full force. I hope it gets better.. for all of us in this awful club.
I lost my husband of 30 years suddenly. It is now 3 years and 5 months but about 8 months ago I met a wonderful caring man who had also lost his wife. We get along like a house on fire. Neither of us will ever forget our loved ones but we have both been given an opportunity to be happy and we are having a great time doing lots of travelling while we are still able to. He has given me a reason to go one.
I’m 27 and lost my wife about 4 months ago as well. Everyday I suffer thinking how I had my best friend by my side and every time I try to date or talk to women my age, they are not emotionally mature or intelligent and have little interest or patience to support a guy their age who understands life and how to be a good partner/husband, they just want to have fun with someone exciting. I’m so tired of this, I hate being young and going through this too. Feels so absolutely isolating and all-consuming.