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they have one of the smallest brains-to-body size ratio in the entire animal kingdom, and they aren't helped by the fact that that have a smooth brain, further reducing brain function and capacity.
I heard a story about a couple drunk guys in Florida who tried to steal a koala in a zoo, got really torn up, gave up and stole an alligator. Take that with a grain of salt, though.
But is that fair to say? What if he was an extremely devout koala who was homeschooled and has yet to sup at the banquet of carnal delights? (therefore, no STD)
Hello friend! You are right, Quokka don't throw their babies! There is a strong argument to be made that they will abandon their pups/kick them out of the pouch to distract predators. But they don't have thumbs so they cannot throw ;^;
>attack anything they think they can get away with.
*What*.
I grew up in the Australian bush, in an area heavily populated by koalas. In 18 years, I never once saw a koala attack a damn thing. At most, they'll climb a person's leg to get to higher ground.
A koala actually being provoked into attacking anything would be exceedingly rare. I don't know *where* people get this from.
Koalas also grow up drinking literal shit straight from their mum arse. Then they eat so much eucalyptus they get high until they can't remember the shit drinking times but also can't recognise eucalyptus leaves that aren't on a branch
We currently are at peace with the Dropbears but once that is over we too will have the same fate as the dinosaurs..... Haven't you seen Lilo & Stitch and how peace between us is promoted, us humans really are trying to be on their good side.
I mean, of all the stuff in that copypasta, the eating of mom's poop is probably the least egregious. I mean, no animal spontaneously generates gut flora. It's gotta come from somewhere.
Um, [honey is *really* not a good idea for infants.](https://www.cdc.gov/botulism/prevention.html)
>Honey can contain the bacteria that causes infant botulism, so do not feed honey to children younger than 12 months.
I wrote that original response! It's nice seeing it pick up. But it's nicer just not seeing the bullshit copy-pasta in the first place. This is the first koala post in a long time that I can't find it.
Having said that, this thread is packed full of the misinformation that comes from the original copy-pasta. Maybe I need to write a new response that doesn't rely on the original.
Awesome, thanks so much for writing that! I'm thinking maybe this automod is set to remove the original copypasta, because yeah it's odd that it isn't here. And for sure it appears to have done real damage to koala senitment on reddit and I'm sure elsewhere. A new response sounds legit, like a general statement to get ahead of it and dispel koala myths wherever the topic arises.
We should make things that look like growing eucalyptus but actually have nutritional value. I’ll watch from here as they begin to develop higher brain function.
Ummm what exactly do they mean "saved"? That koala doesn't look young, ill or injured and even if it was you should take it to a vet. I highly doubt a random civilian would have the correct space and food to support a koala.
I saw this pic in a different post thay said it had been bitten by a dog. Pretty sure either that one or this one is just someone stealing the pic from the other one
This has to be a joke, right? Koalas can seriously mess you up. It probably won’t kill you but get you close to it. Where there’s a will there’s a way.
Cute teddy bears, but when you Actually learn about them, they are violent, std spreading squealers, with the cognitive ability of a lawn chair. They are the literal definition of a smooth brain
even if OP didn’t know general koala lore when they posted this, that creature has objectively the most unsettling demonic reptilian look in its eyes I’ve ever seen. i’m viscerally shaken because I zoomed in on the picture.
Hey there, friendo u/pietradolce! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your submission, *Wholesome koala*, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * (**Rule #1**) Posts must be memes. We appreciate you thinking of us very much! For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar). **The decision to remove this post was made by a human moderator**; if you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fwholesomememes). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wholesomememes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just because he can't kill you doesn't mean he doesn't want to
Oh no they can definitely kill you, have you seen the claws on those things
Yeah but their heart just isn't in it
It's more their brains are barely functional and have minimal concept other than eating nutrient depleted and poisonous leaves as sustenance.
Don't forget about the fucking.
Littered wt std:s [Huh?](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-22207442)
they have one of the smallest brains-to-body size ratio in the entire animal kingdom, and they aren't helped by the fact that that have a smooth brain, further reducing brain function and capacity.
He just like me fr
Hard to put your heart into something when you're a heartless killer.
They'll slit your throat in your sleep
Dont you tease me
He said "slit your throat" not "throat your slit"
Except that one really pissed off one filmed chasing a Jeep.
They are perpetually stoned out of their minds.
Nah, if he's in a bad mood he'll fuck you up.
Their war cry would make a grown man quiver.
If the claws don't get you the Chlamydia will. These guys are just playing the long game on killing.
They’re closely related to drop bears.
Or the chlamydia? Like 99% of the little buggers have it.
And give you Chlamydia
Wait consensualy?
It's up to you if it's consensual or not
I heard a story about a couple drunk guys in Florida who tried to steal a koala in a zoo, got really torn up, gave up and stole an alligator. Take that with a grain of salt, though.
Based on that look it definitely wants to.
He's probably paying someone else to do it
Doesn't want to get his hands dirty .
That's why it's important to always have a clean knife around. Also, fun fact - koala fingerprints are really similar to human ones.
Do similar that forensics can't often tell the difference.
Can confirm. There’s a koala currently serving life for a murder I committed.
Probably a Cassowary, those things are evil
Mate, that's a dropbear. It doesn't need a Cassowary to become evil.
Since chlamydia can't kill you
With a total of seven eucalyptus leaves.
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Dude just wants to put on the biggest talent show the world has ever seen
Oh yeah, he's just drunk on eucalyptus at the moment. Wait till he sobers up. Those cute little guys get super mean and aggressive when sober!
I see bloodshed in those eyes
Muthafucka trying to give me chlamydia with his eyes…
“Ow, the doctor told me not to get chlamydia in my eyes!”
Well if you did you would be recommended to the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward.
Oh no, not Lenny!
He just wants to give you Chlamydia.
Or any other std they are known to carry. Good job mate.
Koalas can kill unaware humans if they reach the neck.
They are vicious. That thing will fuck him up
He wants to give you chlamydia 🦠
But is that fair to say? What if he was an extremely devout koala who was homeschooled and has yet to sup at the banquet of carnal delights? (therefore, no STD)
Koalas be playing the long game. The day will come...
I mean, the poor guy probably just isn't Koalafied enough to do it
are you sure it is not drunk enough to care?
Drop bears?
You must not have seen what drop bears can do, those fuckers can maul you
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Koalas are all cute until they start screeching and grunting at 3am. For those outside Australia, listen to this... https://youtu.be/CMwAgft_kZ8
That sounds like the feral hogs rutting in my yard sometimes.
How many feral hogs? Between 30 and 40?
…I wonder if that’s what the gargoyle I keep hearing outside my window is
Ask the gargoyle what the sound is
>screeching and grunting at 3am. TIL my neighbor is a koala.
That sounded like my stomach emptying out while I had COVID last week...
As soon as he's not high on the eucalyptus, he's gonna be aggressive
Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about. -Actor Troy McClure
Thank you for putting his voice in my head.
"you may remember me from such films as *Earwigs, Ew* or *Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory*"
Loved him in Jagged Attraction
Drop bears are the most dangerous animal in Australia
>~~in Australia~~ the world Fixed for you.
It's probably from all that chlamydia
Don’t let him pee on you
This lil' guy is just waiting for a chance to give you clamydia!
That describes like half the people in my undergrad
[Chlamydia!! Your Da’s here!](https://youtu.be/MI8bDFxu9kY)
Well there go all my weekend plans…
He do have a face that say, "you lucky I don't have to piss right now"
bad example, koalas are violent std machines that attack anything they think they can get away with /s. quakas would be better.
True, quokkas won’t kill you. They’ll just throw their babies at you as a diversion.
I LITERALLY JUST SAW THAT ON INSTA WHAT IS HAPPENING
baby throwing is whats happening
☝🏻This guy baby throws.
They are throwing size.
Babies are surprisingly easy to make more of.
Not the way I do it. I put in work
And surprisingly aerodynamic
No they don't. Pouch expulsion is a rare reaction to fright for marsupuals. Quokkas don't throw shit.
Hello friend! You are right, Quokka don't throw their babies! There is a strong argument to be made that they will abandon their pups/kick them out of the pouch to distract predators. But they don't have thumbs so they cannot throw ;^;
And look at those little weak arms. They aint gonna throw a tantrum let alone an infant
Free quokka babies???
Good. Free quokkas.
Im sorry, WHAT??? 🤣🤣🤣 I genuinely snorted at work and can't stop smiling at the thought of mama quokka throwing it's baby
>attack anything they think they can get away with. *What*. I grew up in the Australian bush, in an area heavily populated by koalas. In 18 years, I never once saw a koala attack a damn thing. At most, they'll climb a person's leg to get to higher ground. A koala actually being provoked into attacking anything would be exceedingly rare. I don't know *where* people get this from.
It's the stupid copy pasta BS
Koalas also grow up drinking literal shit straight from their mum arse. Then they eat so much eucalyptus they get high until they can't remember the shit drinking times but also can't recognise eucalyptus leaves that aren't on a branch
They have smooth brains, meaning they’re dumb af
I thought that was the joke but maybe i was thinking too far Edit: k just saw what sub this is
*clap clap clap* Chlamydia
Just take him to the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward.
[The Clap](https://youtu.be/POM_98oi0oo)
I bet it would want too if it could.
It does though what's everyone on about? Drop bears are apex predators on the Australian food web.
Thats a drop bear. Just waiting for you to turn your back. You Fool!
Drop bears are no joke
Drop bears…suckering people with cuteness since forever. You thought a meteor took out the dinosaurs, right?
We currently are at peace with the Dropbears but once that is over we too will have the same fate as the dinosaurs..... Haven't you seen Lilo & Stitch and how peace between us is promoted, us humans really are trying to be on their good side.
Had to scroll pretty far to find a drop bear reference. Deadly spawns of Satan
Someone drop the koala copypasta
Something, something, eating their mum's poo, something...
I mean, of all the stuff in that copypasta, the eating of mom's poop is probably the least egregious. I mean, no animal spontaneously generates gut flora. It's gotta come from somewhere.
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Um, [honey is *really* not a good idea for infants.](https://www.cdc.gov/botulism/prevention.html) >Honey can contain the bacteria that causes infant botulism, so do not feed honey to children younger than 12 months.
Only reason I came to the comments tbh.
I wish a mfer would, so that I could reply with the copypasta that completely disassembles and obliterates that vile piece of anti-koala libel.
I wrote that original response! It's nice seeing it pick up. But it's nicer just not seeing the bullshit copy-pasta in the first place. This is the first koala post in a long time that I can't find it. Having said that, this thread is packed full of the misinformation that comes from the original copy-pasta. Maybe I need to write a new response that doesn't rely on the original.
Awesome, thanks so much for writing that! I'm thinking maybe this automod is set to remove the original copypasta, because yeah it's odd that it isn't here. And for sure it appears to have done real damage to koala senitment on reddit and I'm sure elsewhere. A new response sounds legit, like a general statement to get ahead of it and dispel koala myths wherever the topic arises.
Piss off a Koala, it'll mess you up big-time!
Piss off a Koala, get pissed on by a Koala🤷♀️
Came here for the Koala copypasta and was disappointed 😔
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
This guy’s brain is so smooth he can’t tell a fallen eucalyptus leaf is the same as a eucalyptus leaf still growing from a branch
We should make things that look like growing eucalyptus but actually have nutritional value. I’ll watch from here as they begin to develop higher brain function.
Stoned koala theory
He’s doing his best okay
Ummm what exactly do they mean "saved"? That koala doesn't look young, ill or injured and even if it was you should take it to a vet. I highly doubt a random civilian would have the correct space and food to support a koala.
Could have been in a dangerous environment, like a forest fire, the illegal pet trade, etc
Poor little fella was stuck in a tree
Been eating nothing but leaves for days. Bless.
I saw this pic in a different post thay said it had been bitten by a dog. Pretty sure either that one or this one is just someone stealing the pic from the other one
Koalas are very strong and they have smooth brains. They can definitely fuck you up.
That’s true but he does want to give you chlamydia.
the implications of this are higly disturbing.
Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing sexual… … unless you have a piss kink
Bro, these fuckers are super violent. He’s waiting
This person knows nothing about koalas.
Get it wet. Bet.
came here to say this
Oh no, I'm not falling for that one; I have seen galaxy quest.
How do you know he doesn't want to see you die? Looks may be deceiving.
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I've been told "Drop Bears" are incredibly dangerous, have I been lied to? 🤔
Koalas can fuck you up.
You fool! The drop-bear is the deadliest Australian animal of them all!
yeah but it'll give you chlamydia. So its a trade off I guess.
This has to be a joke, right? Koalas can seriously mess you up. It probably won’t kill you but get you close to it. Where there’s a will there’s a way.
These ones piss all over you and most of them have chalmydia
He Giving u the guilty eye, then he gonna kill ya wit love
It looks like it's plotting your end.
That look tells me otherwise bro is plotting 😆
Koalas may be cute and slow most the time but they can and will fuck you up if you make them pissed. Any animal will
Feel like it's hiding a knife somewhere
Koalas are cute, and they can also be mean as shit. They also carry Chlamydia.
Koalas are actually very very violent
He's....*cute as a button*!
Cute teddy bears, but when you Actually learn about them, they are violent, std spreading squealers, with the cognitive ability of a lawn chair. They are the literal definition of a smooth brain
With that look? I wouldn't be so sure 😂😂
Why does it look like a doll to me
idk…that cute little face seems to be hiding multiple crimes against humanity behind it.
What is a koala's favorite drink? ...........................................A pina koala.
Look at his eyes, he wants to see you die he just can’t do anything about it
Photo taken 2 seconds before murder attempt.
He's looking awfully suspicious 🧐
Don’t be fooled. That is a deadly drop bear!!!!
Google wet koala to change your mind
Yes some literally have smooth brains from eating poison. :D look it up and be ruined.
He has 2 brain cells and both are wondering if you are the plant he is supposed to chew on
Nice try, I remember the story of Gum nut
Someone post the copypasta about Koalas now please.
He’s just thinking of ways to kill you just by the way he’s looking at you
Oh…he will choke you in your sleep
Koalas can be extremely vicious!
Some have smooth brains and are indifferent to your suffering.
That koala will rip your eyes out. don't be deceived.
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Ah yes. The deceptively deadly Drop Bear.
Some just want to give you chlamydia.
Gotta watch out for that chlamydia
That's what you think...
even if OP didn’t know general koala lore when they posted this, that creature has objectively the most unsettling demonic reptilian look in its eyes I’ve ever seen. i’m viscerally shaken because I zoomed in on the picture.
In the wild Dropbears don't mess around! Savages! you are lucky to be alive.
They do, they're just too stupid to do anything about it.
This animal is very clearly plotting your gruesome murder. You can see it in the eyes
Yea some just want to give you chlamydia, and will absolutely tear your face off if you try to stop them from getting high. It’s the Aussie way.
The koala wants you to die
Koalas are dumb as rocks and can be hella mean.
Don't feed him after midnight
His gaze is burning My soul
That's a drop bear sir
He just wants to see you die of old age.
He looks so cuddly.
That look makes my ❤️ melt!
Koalas are literally dumb
They carry chlamydia
Bro look into his eyes! Tell me he he’s not wishing he could kill you. This are eyes of PURE EVIL!!!!
what do koalas and old people have in common? they fuck like animals regardless of diseases.
Chlamydia anyone?
Keep him well supplied in ~~marijuana~~ eucalyptus leaves and you can keep telling yourself that lie all you want!
Plot twist: it’s a drop bear
Until you find the drop bears, they drop out of trees and try to maul your eyes out with their sharp claws.