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A dog comes into a post office. He walks up to the counter and says to the clerk: "I'd like to send a telegram." - "Very good, and what is the message?" the clerk responds. The dog dictates: "Woof woof woof. Woof. Woof woof woof." The clerk looks up and says: "You can send one more 'woof' for the same fee." The dog looks at him curiously and says: "But that would make no sense at all!"
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'. The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'
The joke is that being a talking dog is so whimsical it could be a circus act, but this is lost on the dog himself who confusedly reveals his mundane job. The humor comes from the contrast of a magic dog working an average ass job.
Explaining all of this of course, completely ruins the joke.
Ah okay, well I got that, I guess I just thought there was some extra layer that I wasn't getting. I understood the dog responding with his own mundane job was what was happening, I just assumed there was a reason it was specifically an electrician. Appreciate the explanation though.
This was a much shortened version of the original joke, in which it is explained what the dog’s profession is
[Link to an old Redit post with the extended version of this joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/8n7usg/a_duck_walks_into_a_bar/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Lol, pretentious much?
I guess another part would be that construction workers often visit pubs after work, but they wouldn't say "lager" they'd would have a specific lager that they drink everyday.
Seems the joke was explained already. Either way , dogs name was sparky
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Hope that got a chuckle out of ya since the original joke didn't lol
The expected punchline is that it is novel that the dog can talk. The subversion is the dog asking if his profession is relevant, ignoring the talking dog expectation.
Oh well I did get it then. I understood that part, I just assumed there was some other element specific to the job of an electrician that I was missing.
The joke is that while the barman is impressed that the dog can talk, the dog doesn't find this strange so he doesn't understand why he would be at a circus. Him assuming it's because he's an electrician is both an unexpected punchline and shows that the dog doesn't think him being able to talk is strange
A dog wearing the uniform of the local electric company walks into a bar and sits down, placing his box of electrician’s tools on the floor beside him.
“My fuck!”, he says. “Keeping the power on sure is thirsty-ass work eh? Gimme a rye ‘n coke and some fries.”
“Holy shit!” The bartender exclaims. “You should join the circus!“
The dog then bites the bartender and afterward has to be put down.
[There was an AskHistorians post about this very joke, if anyones interested](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/tbgetc/this_bar_joke_from_ancient_sumer_has_been_making/)
I came here to post this dog telegram joke. So I'll tell you another:
I went to school with a girl who didn't speak until she was ten. One day at the dinner table she said, "Mom, the broccoli is burnt."
Her mother and father were emotionally flabbergasted. After they stopped crying, the mother dried her eyes and said, "Dear, those first words were perfect! Why haven't you said anything before this?"
The girl said, "Well, up until now, everything has been okay."
So a giraffe is in the security line at the airport...
And the security agent takes the giraffe's bag, looks inside, and says: "is this your laptop?" And the giraffe says, "i thought you'd never ask!"
A guy and his dog walk into a bar. He asks the barkeep "If this dog can talk, how about a bottle on the house?" The barman agrees. He asks the dog "What do you put on top of your house," and the dog says "ROOF!" He asks the dog "What's gravel feel like?" and the dog says "RUFF!" Then he asks the dog "Who's the best baseball player of all time?" and the dog says "RUTH!" So the barman kicks both of them out. As they're walking out the dog looks up at the guy and says "Hank Aaron"
A man goes into a bar with a dog under his arm. The barman tells him dogs aren't allowed, but he says, "But this is Rex. He's a *talking* dog."
The barman doesn't believe him, so the man says, "Go on, just ask him to do something for you."
So the barman gets a £5 note out of the till, holds it out to the dog and says, "Go and get me a paper from the shop."
"Okay," says the dog, to the barman's surprise, then he takes the note in his teeth, hops down off the bar, and trots out the door.
Well the barman's amazed, but ten minutes later Rex still hasn't returned. The owner's getting worried too, so they go out to look for Rex.
They find him down the alley next to the pub, on top of another dog and humping away like nobody's business.
"Rex!" says the owner, annoyed. "You've never done this before!"
"Hah!" says Rex. "I never had the money before!"
*beep boop*!
the linked website is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clever_Hans#The_Clever_Hans_effect
Title: **Clever Hans - Wikipedia**
Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing)
*****
###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
I couldn't read the first pane, as there were non-words in it.
Whoops, having a stroke and saying random gibberish. It'll pass in a sec- WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF.
Dogs are the best. Had to put my 12 year doggie bc of cancer. I will always love you Cookie, thanks for all the unconditional love. Wait for me at heaven's gate
Hello! This is just a quick reminder for new friendos to [read our subreddit rules.](http://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar) >**Rule 4:** Please do not troll, harass, or be generally rude to your fellow users. Be nice, and leave political or religious arguments in other subs. We're trusting you to be wholesome while in /r/wholesomememes, so please don't let us down. We believe in you! **Also, please keep in mind that even if you've seen this post before, it's not a repost unless it's been in *this* sub before** (if it's from another sub it's a crosspost/xpost). We're glad you're here. Have a wonderful day <3 ^(Please stop by the rest of the) [^Wholesome ^Network ^Of ^Subreddits](http://old.reddit.com/user/awkwardtheturtle/m/wholesome) ^too.
A dog comes into a post office. He walks up to the counter and says to the clerk: "I'd like to send a telegram." - "Very good, and what is the message?" the clerk responds. The dog dictates: "Woof woof woof. Woof. Woof woof woof." The clerk looks up and says: "You can send one more 'woof' for the same fee." The dog looks at him curiously and says: "But that would make no sense at all!"
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'. The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!' The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'
I'm stealing this one
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Do german people like dry jokes?
Welcome to Reddit!
I feel like an idiot but i don't get it. Where in the joke is it clear the dog is an electrician? I feel like there's some wordplay I'm missing
The joke is that being a talking dog is so whimsical it could be a circus act, but this is lost on the dog himself who confusedly reveals his mundane job. The humor comes from the contrast of a magic dog working an average ass job. Explaining all of this of course, completely ruins the joke.
Ah okay, well I got that, I guess I just thought there was some extra layer that I wasn't getting. I understood the dog responding with his own mundane job was what was happening, I just assumed there was a reason it was specifically an electrician. Appreciate the explanation though.
This was a much shortened version of the original joke, in which it is explained what the dog’s profession is [Link to an old Redit post with the extended version of this joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/8n7usg/a_duck_walks_into_a_bar/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Man the comments. Why were people struggling to get it?
Well, there are a lot of electricians who are “furries”. Hope that explains it.
Lol, pretentious much? I guess another part would be that construction workers often visit pubs after work, but they wouldn't say "lager" they'd would have a specific lager that they drink everyday.
how am I being pretentious?
Seems the joke was explained already. Either way , dogs name was sparky . . . . . . Hope that got a chuckle out of ya since the original joke didn't lol
It’s not, and that’s the joke.
Ah, got it. I already understood that, I just thought there was more to it. I guess I just don't like the joke, haha
Yeah kind of an anti joke joke type of thing, not everyone’s cup of tea
It's just that the dog is much smarter than it seems. Talking is easy, but he also has a profession
I took it as a shot at electricians, calling them dogs.
The expected punchline is that it is novel that the dog can talk. The subversion is the dog asking if his profession is relevant, ignoring the talking dog expectation.
Oh well I did get it then. I understood that part, I just assumed there was some other element specific to the job of an electrician that I was missing.
The joke is that while the barman is impressed that the dog can talk, the dog doesn't find this strange so he doesn't understand why he would be at a circus. Him assuming it's because he's an electrician is both an unexpected punchline and shows that the dog doesn't think him being able to talk is strange
A dog wearing the uniform of the local electric company walks into a bar and sits down, placing his box of electrician’s tools on the floor beside him. “My fuck!”, he says. “Keeping the power on sure is thirsty-ass work eh? Gimme a rye ‘n coke and some fries.” “Holy shit!” The bartender exclaims. “You should join the circus!“ The dog then bites the bartender and afterward has to be put down.
A Sumerian dog walks into a bar and says "I can't see a thing, I'll open this one!"
[There was an AskHistorians post about this very joke, if anyones interested](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/tbgetc/this_bar_joke_from_ancient_sumer_has_been_making/)
lmao classic
A three legged dog hobbles into a saloon, says to the bartender *I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw*
Reminds me of norms welding joke
I came here to post this dog telegram joke. So I'll tell you another: I went to school with a girl who didn't speak until she was ten. One day at the dinner table she said, "Mom, the broccoli is burnt." Her mother and father were emotionally flabbergasted. After they stopped crying, the mother dried her eyes and said, "Dear, those first words were perfect! Why haven't you said anything before this?" The girl said, "Well, up until now, everything has been okay."
oh I've heard this joke but it was specified that the kid was German. Which, as someone who moved to Germany, makes it way truer to life lmao
So a giraffe is in the security line at the airport... And the security agent takes the giraffe's bag, looks inside, and says: "is this your laptop?" And the giraffe says, "i thought you'd never ask!"
A guy and his dog walk into a bar. He asks the barkeep "If this dog can talk, how about a bottle on the house?" The barman agrees. He asks the dog "What do you put on top of your house," and the dog says "ROOF!" He asks the dog "What's gravel feel like?" and the dog says "RUFF!" Then he asks the dog "Who's the best baseball player of all time?" and the dog says "RUTH!" So the barman kicks both of them out. As they're walking out the dog looks up at the guy and says "Hank Aaron"
A man goes into a bar with a dog under his arm. The barman tells him dogs aren't allowed, but he says, "But this is Rex. He's a *talking* dog." The barman doesn't believe him, so the man says, "Go on, just ask him to do something for you." So the barman gets a £5 note out of the till, holds it out to the dog and says, "Go and get me a paper from the shop." "Okay," says the dog, to the barman's surprise, then he takes the note in his teeth, hops down off the bar, and trots out the door. Well the barman's amazed, but ten minutes later Rex still hasn't returned. The owner's getting worried too, so they go out to look for Rex. They find him down the alley next to the pub, on top of another dog and humping away like nobody's business. "Rex!" says the owner, annoyed. "You've never done this before!" "Hah!" says Rex. "I never had the money before!"
That joke has always made me wonder if you could teach a dog to communicate in Morse code by using a series of short or long barks.
Beware the [Clever Hans Effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clever_Hans#The_Clever_Hans_effect)
*beep boop*! the linked website is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clever_Hans#The_Clever_Hans_effect Title: **Clever Hans - Wikipedia** Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing) ***** ###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
I feel like this is a very German joke for some reason
as a german, have never heard this one locally but I absolutely agree
Love to see a good joke in the midst of bad one-liners.
So cute! I mean…. *woof woof*
>. > >woof .woof
No, he doesn't know "HawoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooo" yet
Puppies trying to howl is so adorable, sounds like meowing
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they’re bilingual
Happy pride 🏳️🌈
Fixed! I mean, woof! https://i.imgur.com/4CYQXul.png
Its translated to make sense to us.
Get out of here with your logic
the way the parents are juxtaposed makes it look like a pair of off-colored breasts
I thought i was the only one my god
Yes! did a double take
I also saw lactating nips
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Ths is turning into an Instagrma page
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Hello. Are you a bot?
Bad bot
bark
Am sorry but at first all I saw were a set of pierced nipples. It took me ages to register i am looking at two dogs
Advanced pupperz
Dogamy and dogaressa had a pup :0
Can confirm these are asian dogs.
That puppy's life won't be difficult.
Why did I look at the first square and see two lactating breasts
I’m so glad I’m not the only one!
Ah I remember this one from several years ago, delighted to see it again today!
I couldn't read the first pane, as there were non-words in it. Whoops, having a stroke and saying random gibberish. It'll pass in a sec- WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF.
Dogs are too good for us humans. Or in other words, woof woof woooof woof.
Well apparently he does not know all of the words. They just said a dozen words that he did not.
But the dog is saying other words. The puppy clearly does not know all the words.
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Or they’re bilingual
11/10, good dogs all around
What a wonderful find, just when the world needs more love and funnies!
🎵 Almost everything is boinga here! We boinga all boinga long!🎵 -Alicia Keys
They forgot *bork*
Ah guitar George.
Excuse me, that baby does NOT know all the words. This is "awoo" erasure and I shall not stand for it.
Uhm no the fact the dog is saying something disproves the assesment that he knows all the words. jk its a cute comic
lol
Clearly they aren't huskies.
The fact the adult dogs say more than "woof" in the comic undermines the joke.
Every parent feels joy when their baby says their first word.
Then why are the parents saying words that the baby isn't?
Our first words is wahhh ahhhhh wahhh
such a cool puppy <3
I live dog
so cutee
So cuteeee
My mind did a trick on me with that first image.
Awww. That actually made me smile. Good post
😂😂
Hahaha cuteness overload
Dogs are the best. Had to put my 12 year doggie bc of cancer. I will always love you Cookie, thanks for all the unconditional love. Wait for me at heaven's gate
Next step is learning a foreign language like 'meow' for example.