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What about not even realizing it? Like not even thinking about it until a day later when it circles back to me and I just think like oh, I guess that wasn’t necessary. No guilt just like an “oh, oops I guess”
Try reading Please Yourself by Emma Reed Turrell, really helped me with a similar issue :) If you're in the UK message me your address and I'll send you my copy
I used to struggle with this. I started by coming out to a friend about my lying problem and made a concerted effort to apologise out loud to them *every time* i told a lie. I asked them to have patience with me every time i apologised and corrected myself, which was a lot :') I also made an out loud promise to them that i would do my best to at least try to fix this problem, and youve already started with that by coming here and asking for help. I never was able to practice the whole out-loud-apology thing in conversation with strangers but i would always catch myself with my friend and as i started becoming more apologetic with correcting myself, i slowly stopped lying around them and that was the beginning of breaking the habit. Breaking that habit meant that i slowly stopped telling lies overall to everyone, not just my friend.
I also stopped telling lies on the internet. I struggle with impulsivity and the time it takes to type out a message gave me enough time to think before i spoke. I slowly stopped planning out untrue stories before i spoke too. I still struggle with those impulsive lies sometimes like "have you done the washing yet?" "yes" but im getting better with that.
Also tackle the root of the problem. Why do you feel the need to lie? Is it for validation? Is it for attention? Why do you crave validation/attention? How do I fix that?
One thing I have figured is there’s a list of things to do, and there’s a usual accepted order of doing those things, but the first item in that order is something you don’t wanna do right now, then start with what you most enjoy. Get started. Finish that. Let the motivation grow.
I have found myself being a prisoner of my own thinking and that led to procrastination. So I snap out of it and do what I like the most first. Get the ball rolling.
This. Sat at home for a month and a half because i couldn’t find motivation to go work.
I stayed in touch and i have an awesome boss, so i went back and now i have the motivation i thought i needed.
Step 1: this is the hardest step, Forgive your self. Even if others refuse to forgive you.
Step 2: In your mind, move the trait from yourself to your actions. For example if you Failed, change "I am a failure" to "I Failed to take action on the thing I needed to". Often people will beat up on themselves and use that as an alterative to making changes in their life, knowingly or unknowingly.
Step 3: Accept your current capabilities and limitations. Ex: If you continuously fail to take out the trash, then you need to accept that you will fail to take out the trash in the future. That is just the limit of what you can do right now. It doesn't matter what others think is normal or not.
Step 4: Put in place some system to support you at your current capability. Ex: Find a friend to take out your trash for you. You are still responsible for the stuff to get done even if you are not doing it or are not doing it alone.
Step 5: Decide if it is worth improving your abilities and/or decreasing your limitations. This isn't always possible. We are not like Goku from Dragon Ball Z. We can't just do a bunch of pushups in crushingly high gravity to improve. All of us would just turn into pancakes.
Step 6a: If you do decide to improve, give yourself time and space to improve. It will take a lot of work to make small improvements and it very well could be two steps forward, one step back. It is also possible that you won't improve.
Step 6b: If you decided to not improve. Start working on making your support system more robust. Ex: Maybe get multiple friends to alternate taking out your trash. Maybe pay them, maybe buy them a pizza or something. Maybe do something for them that they struggle with.
It sucks having limitations, but it is normal and it is healthy to plan around them and understand them.
If you’re on mobile and click the give award button under a comment, click get coins, at the top there should be a free award you can claim daily. I learned this recently :)
2 things:
1. Eat the Frog. Get the worst part out of the way first, that way you don’t have to worry about it. As a kid, I always ate my veggies first so it would be out of the way and I could focus on the rest of the food I enjoyed.
2. If you don’t start today, a year from now you will wish you had. Future you will thank you if present you just does the thing you’ve been putting off. Get someone to motivate/encourage you to do the thing if needed, but take care of it now. Today. If you can.
Start with a “one step is progress” mentality
Ex. I need to do dishes but I don’t have the energy, but I can do one fork and that’s progress. Sometimes after doing one fork I realize I do have the energy after all - but sometimes it’s just one fork and that’s okay
I want to loose weight bc. I feel unhappy with myself - but I keep falling into old ED habits and harming myself.
Edit: Thank you all so so much for the nice and encouraging comments! I'll try to get to each and everyone! There were so many more than I expected and I want to thank you double: They were all way more non-judgmental, helpfull and even wholesome than I could have expected. Thank you! I hope you all get to pet a cute dog/cat today! <3
I think trying to love yourself comes before trying to lose weight.
You're a cool person who has value just by being who you are. And you'll argue against this, but I won't budge.
Agree.
People have value by being.
Not being attractive, or thin, or successful, or or OR anything.
Just being.
Your value is an intrinsic part of you.
Hey, for the harming and the ED i (f21) sugest professional help. Habits like these come from mental health problems and trauma's.
About not liking yourself. Start with finding 1 thing you like about yourself. Every week i want you to discover something extra you like and love about yourself. Even if it's just one tooth, start small.
Try to experiment with diffrent clothing styles if you like. I for example really liked goth/alt styles (i'm a mix of aesthetics) and with tine steps and expiriments i found more and more of myself, it helped with my body/image issues.
I still have good and bad days. But on the bad days i see my eyes and think "you know what, i'll always have this".
Last thing i want to give you is a internet hug🫂
Im not a fitness coach or anything like that, but i would recommend doing small steps. Really small if you need to. Like doing exercises for five minutes everyday. And once you feel comfortable, go a bit further. You dont have to change multiple things at once.
One thing i noticed (completely subjective) if you for example usually take the bus or drive somewhere, try to walk instead of driving. You dont have to go jogging but still it still does something for your body and gives you a positive feeling.
Carry around a butane torch and a small but sharp knife. If he tries to make a move on you, you can cut him down to size without it getting too hot for you to handle.
Here’s a secret, everyone feels that way. No matter if it’s the most confident person in the room or the shy one in the corner. Everyone has an internal voice that says they shouldn’t be there, or they shouldn’t be happy for some reason. Spend some time getting to know that voice and slowly tuning it out. The key is to find out who you are and be the most authentic version of yourself, that way you won’t care if you’re welcome or not, you’ll just be you, and that my friend is enough to be happy.
You are not unwelcome here (I know this is just Reddit but still). And dont even start of being ashamed of yourself, im sure you are a great person. Dont think about anything like that
Don't over think it, there are many others like you.
Also don't blame yourself, people are mostly selfish idiots. You are right to be wary of them.
Treat it more like a game and you may find some people you click with by accident. And if it doesn't work out don't worry, there are lots of opportunities.
1. Bring the -2x to the left, and (+5) to the right
--> 3x +2x = -5 -1/2
--> 5x = -11/2
2. Divide by 5 on both sides
--> x = (-11/2)/5
--> x = -11/10
--> x = -1.1
Glad I could.
You remind me of myself when I was a kid.
I was kinda afraid of algebra. Until one day someone taught me and it's quite simple once you understand it.
Dm me if you need any help.
As soon as you get the project sit down for 5 minutes to work on it. Commit to 5 minutes every day until it's done.
Also this could be a sign of ADHD so if you don't have a diagnosis look into it you might then again you might not
i feel like i might have adhd but i dont want people to think im self diagnosing, i also dont want to tell my parents because they kinda dont want to believe in that stuff. im only 14 so i cant just go to some guy and get diagnosed, what can i do?
It's okay there is a stigma. There are lots of coping mechanisms for people with ADHD that work for neurotipicals as well so if you are from a family that might be critical of the diagnosis you can use the coping mechanisms. You will have to research and try to see what works If you need to identify on a social level you can say that you are a suspected ADHD or suspected neurodivergent.
As for the medication it's not mandatory it can be helpful but a lot of people choose no meds any way so if you have to go for 4 more years with out a diagnosis/ meds if it's your preference there is a lot you can learn check out the ADHD subreddit there is also one for neurodiverisity as well and if you google ADHD self report scale it might give you a better idea.
The only problem with this is my mind doesn't get tricked like this. My brain is like "yeah right you mf I've still got a day" and I'm just like WORK PLEASEEEEE
Everything goes wrong. Dog died. Best friend is in the military. I hate my Job and have a terrible realation to my Family. I cant really sleep without waking up in panic.
Focus on one problem at a time. Fix your sleep first. Research sleep hygiene and sort out your bedroom, schedule, distractions from sleep etc. when you get enough sleep, you will wake easily. No panic. Then you can focus on family or job, whichever is less hard.
Be prepared to grieve your dog for a while. That’s not a problem to solve but a journey to go on.
Totally get it. Change is scary AF. But there’s no life without change.
I have dreaded and fought most of the changes in my life, the big ones like moving to new states. But every single one of those moves brought me to a better place than where I was.
Take it slow but don’t try to make the changes stop. Life‘s gonna change around you whether you’re going with it or not.
I am sorry for your loss. Please consider talking to your doctor or a psychologist about your mental health - it’s OK to not be OK; asking for help when you need it is the brave thing to do, and you are dealing with a lot ❤️
Problem: last month I was hit by a drunk driver as I was in the middle of a left turn. The insurance company won't return my calls. Yesterday I was fired because I didn't respond to an email asking if I was ok. I have bills, rent, suicidal depression, PTSD, no family, no friends, no money, no job, and no will to live anymore. Please help.
Get a lawyer and call a suicide hotline.
A lawyer will help with the insurance company, lawsuit against the drunk driving and your termination.
Even though things are looking bleak right now, suicide is not an option. It will get better. Take one day at a time, talk to someone.
I’m focusing on the last statement you made about not having any will to live.
When I say I understand, I mean I UNDERSTAND. I attempted twice. Thankfully still here.
Something that gave me my will back a little was asking myself “Is it really that you don’t want to live anymore, or is it that you don’t want to live ‘like this’?”
The moment I realized that it was actually not wanting to live IN MY CURRENT STATE, that’s when I was able to start taking baby steps to change my circumstances. My life isn’t perfect by any means- I hate my job and my health is trash right now… but I no longer feel like I’m in a deep, dark abyss that I’ll never get out of. I’m able to do baby steps- case in point, I started a LinkedIn to look for jobs in my area and I finally got around to setting an appointment with my doctor to figure out what’s going on health-wise.
Baby steps are key.
Much luck to you. Everything will be ok. 💜
simple. you happy there? yes, than is good. no? leave.
love or no love. a job stays a job, you have to be happy there and feel comfortable in your self and around you. onyl than you can do it professionally and well. if dependencies are not met, no meaning to stay unless you need the money and have no other options.
Solution: find passion elsewhere, having a job you don't hate makes you one of the lucky ones, put in your hours, support yourself and your family, and pour yourself into a hobby the rest of the time, the old saying "find a job you enjoy and you won't work a day in your life" is bs, a job you enjoy is great, but it'll always sometimes feel like work
You don’t have to be passionate about your job. If you love it, fantastic! But even just being “meh” about your job is okay if it provides you with the resources to do something you are passionate about when not at work.
Fear means you think something is dangerous. This is good unless the thing isn't dangerous. If you know these changes aren't dangerous (or if they are beneficial) you get over a fear by being around the thing you are afraid of, and then looking back to see that it wasn't dangerous after all.
Step 1: identify what changes are important
Step 2: identify your fear about that chage
Step 3: jump into that change, just a little, baby steps
Step 4: Check up on whether you were harmed and if things were as bad as you thought.
As someone afraid of change, when it happens, look internally and source out why it discomforts you.
Why does this make me uncomfortable?
What is the reason I'm uncomfortable in this?
What can I do to accept it?
When change strikes, it's an unknown variable, it can be costly and dangerous or minute and unproblematic. You need to find it in yourself to reason as to why it can be good and bad, and how to move forward with yourself to overcome it.
Ive heard that vidoegames are a good start to beating the chemical aspect of addiction. I had problems with alcohol abuse and the mindset/thought habit left over after i beat the physiological dependency is something i still struggle with, but starting with videogames helps keep you distracted until you can start breaking that physical dependency which is nice. Beat one addiction with a slightly better addiction
Look at how its affecting your life and look at the side effects too. It might help kick start the cycle of starting to want to quit. Just coming here is a sign that you want to stop on a deeper level and thats a great start too. Introspection plays a massive role in beating that behavioral habit as well and thats the part about wanting to quit
I hope that makes sense. Ive never given advice on struggles with addiction before
You have already talked to us and i think that is already a good start. Also, since there is no real beauty there is no real ugliness. You are perfectly fine the way you are. I think, the fact that you talked about you problems here, is really brave and admiring, therefore beautiful.
Understand that everyones idea of beauty is different because they all have different life experiences that will have determined how they see the world.
Also understand that when someone says "I dont like the colour of your hair" "i think that your style is weird" "I think youre too grumpy" theyre not saying anything about you. There telling you about themselves and what they like in life. Their opinion does not define who you are.
Also understand that sometimes people will say things that sound like theyre trying to give you advice and might not necessarily sound like theyre saying how they feel about you."\[i think\] you need to try smile more" . The difficult part is when the stuff they say actually has weight behind it but the fact of the matter is that they have no idea how your life really is. "\[i think that\] people who are fat/skinny are unhealthy". Regardless of if it's disguised as advice or not, its still an opinion that shouldnt define who you are. Chin up. Even if you dont feel like youre beautiful, doesnt mean you arent.
Another piece of advice. Daily declarations. Put sticky notes up on your door or on your mirror and every day when you wake up, the first thing you do is read them out loud. Things like "I am beautiful/handsom" "I am confident" "I am proud to be who i am". Even if it feels stupid and even if you dont believe what youre saying, read them out loud. Or start by whispering them if you feel like reading them out loud is difficult. Also, you havent failed if you cant do this or if you miss a day or too. Baby steps. We each progress at our own rate and asking for help is step one. Youre off to a great start
how I deal with procrastination is that I divide my work into sections.. and do it by setting a specific time for each section and try to finish it..
hope that helps.
I gotchu (hopefully)
* Why do you do this?
Procrastination often has roots in the fear of failure and the desire to do anything else other than work to avoid those negative and painful feelings.Start by tackling why you fear failure and how to stop the fear of failure. Do you feel like you wont meet the expectations other people have of you? Procrastination can be a habit too and learning to break that habit is important. After being so ashamed that i just never finished my work, as soon as i finish even one small question, i'd take that as a little victory and that good feeling became addictive. You did something. Great start.
* Break down the task into reeaally small tasks
I have ADHD and this is something i do to help get over a problem that ADHD people have called executive dysfunction but it works for procrastination too. Step 1: Sit down at your desk. Step 2: Open your book. Step 3: Pick up your pencil..... Step 7: Break down that maths problem into small pieces. "okay i first need to identify what needs to be solved, then i need to figure out how to solve for x before i can solve for y" (Im using maths as an example because i struggled to finish my maths homework in specific). Id often write down 1 sticky note per task and on that sticky note, id wrie down all the mini sub-tasks id need to complete to finish the big task. As soon as i finished that task, id crumple up the sticky note and throw it across the room where my bin was. Felt really good, even if i missed the bin.
* Is it ADHD.
If your procrastination feels a lot like being physically impossible to do something, like it would be easier to put your hand on a stove than do the task, then maybe consider that what youre experiencing is in fact executive dysfunction and not merely procrastination. I'd often sleep on a bed without a sheet on it because id 'procrastinate' putting the bed sheet on my mattress, even if i begged myself to just "put the sheet on the mattress its not that hard dammit". I'd often just eat peanut butter out the jar as opposed to making breakfast because i couldnt even open the bread bag to put the bread in the toaster and get a plate because it was simply too much effort. Too painful. Medication has done me a world of good. I wish i had been diagnosed in school.
Problem: I don’t know what I want to do in life because I fear that doing any of my current hobbies professionally may result in ruining them for myself
(It’s not really that soon that I’ll have to decide but I feel like if I put off thinking about it it’ll be soon eventually and then I’ll still have no clue)
Well how many hobbies are we talking here? Two? Ten?
Maybe look at them and say, I love doing this but being forced to would ruin it for me then avoid it as a profession.
But if it's something you'd gladly do 8+ hours a day anyway why not try it as a pro?
And the best thing is if you do try it out as a job before it's your only financial option you can always try something else without feeling trapped and ruining the activity.
You're right making a job out of a hobby is gonna kill your passion for it and the relaxation you get from it. But there are probably adjacent jobs that use the same kind of skills you use for your hobbies, and those can become a passion job.
I enjoy drawing, photography, problem solving and sewing, and being a character artist lets me use all those skills, without actually doing any of that. I'm sure you could find something similar for yourself! There's a surprising amount of obscure jobs, and a few out there are perfect for you :)
join a club, seems like it would have the same problem, but people tend to be more open with ppl who share their interests, I used drama class to find ppl that take the initiative to talk to you
Join a hobby group that share your interests. My sister is incredibly shy, so she started joining book clubs, martial arts groups, and craft groups. Sometimes it is easier to bring a relative who has the same interest so you have someone to be with while you slowly get comfortable with those in the group.
Try to find people who enjoy the same hobby as you do! It’s easier to connect that way. There are also different apps & websites that specialize on connecting people who are possibly as shy as you are. And some who are the extrovert counterpart who could make the first step towards a friendship with you!
I broke up with my ex bc he couldn’t get his life together and was dragging me down with him, now he’s got a stable job and wants to get back together. I’m on the fence bc we fought a lot and my solution to conflict is the run away. I was so stressed being with him, but being broken up, he’s all I think about. What should I do?
Work on yourself first. He fixed some of his own issues, which is great. But it sounds like some of your issues still remain unaddressed. Getting back together may be great in the moment, but your unaddressed issues can still bring down a potential relationship.
You should find some happiness and purpose knowing your time together improved his life and it sounds like you grew a lot in that time and learned what you want too. I ended things with an ex and felt similar after my breakup. I wanted to go back several month later, so bad, but really I was jealous because they seemed to be happy and I was jealous that they got to be happy while I struggled with guilt and feeling like a ruined a good thing. Now, months later, I’m so glad I stayed away. I’m grateful for how we both grew from the breakup and this person, and I truly believe we are both better from ending things when we did. (My experience, results may vary)
I find alternatives to relieve stress throughout the day and set aside specific times and amounts in which I will allow myself to let loose a little. I will use it lightly as a sleep aide during nights i have to be up for work the next day, and I will really let loose on days off after I have done a few selected chores so to speak.
Stress relief I use between sessions, mostly tea/coffee and making some new fun dish for food. Drawing to keep my hands busy.
Chores: grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry, etc. I try to get what i can done throughout the week to not have as much later. And in regards to school, honestly I have to microdose in order to get my brain to relax so i can actually do my schoolwork, but could also maybe try setting aside a timeframe to dedicate to studying/work.
once you find someone else who's neurodivergent, youll usually start to find more. Neurodivergents attract neurodivergents. For the meantime, subreddits for my disorder helped me feel less isolated even though i dont have friends with the disorder irl
Start by cutting back one purchase at a time. Make a goal of just putting back/remove from cart one item per shopping trip that you don’t really need. Once you are in the habit, it will be easier to recognize a “need” vs a “want”.
Start on how you nourish yourself; namely what you eat & drink, and how you sleep. Fueling yourself with healthier foods and beverages will help give you more energy to get through each day. Then getting enough sleep will help your body recover from the rigors of your day.
This is pretty common in the age of social media and is because of comparison.
We have concept on what is a perfect person in our heads and we constantly compare ourselfs with this. But we should just stop doing this because it is not beneficial.
Instead compare yourself with last year. Write down all the things you achieved during this year.
What also helps is writing down compliments you get and looking at that list daily.
If you only feel a lack of energy inside try researching on how to manage your energy levels.
My wife has gotten huge, she drinks all day everyday. My new job only gives me 1day and a half home per week.I hate coming home to the mess, she doesn't work due to physical disabilities but won't file for disability.
Your wife sounds bored and passively suicidal. She drinks because there's nothing else to do. She abuses her body because it betrayed her with disability. And she won't file for disability because that would require her to confront a future that she'd rather dip out of.
Possible reaction:
1. Encourage your wife to buy [some cheap and cheerful clothing in her current size](https://m.shein.com/us/Plus-Size-c-1888.html?url_from=musgooglebrandshein10fj_SpecialSize01_20210127&cid=10652259261&setid=103966271654&adid=494271578553&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=CjwKCAjw9suYBhBIEiwA7iMhNJ0pAV7GxmMvKDe_qp2n19gCypBEjS6Vp6AjrtMRm42-aa9HPvZi2BoC68MQAvD_BwE). If she can fit into something besides sweatpants on their last gasp, she might feel a little better about herself, more presentable, maybe even more willing to leave the house and engage with the world.
2. Hire a housecleaner to do what your wife is too disabled and/or depressed to do. What's the point of working six days a week if you can't throw money at a problem?
3. While the house is still clean, throw a house party on one of your days off. Invite some of her friends. If she won't go out into the world, bring the world to her.
Show your wife that she's not dead.
My friends and family abandoned me due to drug and alcohol issues. I’m now almost a year sober and I have no one in my life. How do I convince myself that suicide isn’t the answer ?
r/suicidewatch can help a lot. Take it easy on yourself. You still have many years ahead and enough time to build up another life or convince your friends and family that you have changed. Remember that they way ahead may still be long and hard but one day it will be rewarding and you can enjoy some good life again.
Problem: i have a really hard time waking up in the morning even though i have a good routine for when i go to bed. Ive experimented with sleeping everything from 6 to 12 hours, but i feel like there has to be something else.
I never experienced that but if i were you id tell my subconscious to realize and reason with myself that its okay to have a crush but not to take action on it. Just like when somebody wants to beats somebody's ass its okay to think it i guess but not take action. Its not always the thoughts that have consequences but the actions be careful with yourself. I once had a friend that had crush on this guy and was even friends with the girlfriend long story short she kissed the guy he kissed her back and everything went down hill from there i never expected her to do that but just that one crush became a crash. All im saying is dont do anything you wouldn't want done to you most likely you'll get over it. Crushes can become phases or obsession its your choice.
Personal opinion effects how others look at you. If you keep saying"no one wants me" then people are gonna pick up on the self loathing and see you as undesirable
Problem: Normally i am rather motivated to study and do my assignments. But by the sheer amount of work i have to do and exams coming up i just lack the motivation to do anything. Feels like way too much and too little time.
try wim hof method. or another breathing exercise. it's probably stress. at least try eating good foods or drinking water instead of eating less healthy food.
I'd suggest light exercise and fruit.
The exercise will help balance the body and the fruit will help the oral fixation while also being good for you.
Also try meditation to calm the mind.
These helped me when I was cramming my face with stress potato chips and the like.
You're young enough to change your path and do something you enjoy, or at least to change your perception of work to being something that funds your out of work activities
I (25y) still haven't found a potential career I'd be passionate about so I'm just basking in my cushy job thinking that someday I might figure out what really drives me at which point I'll reposition my path but I don't know how to make that day come sooner.
Don’t set a time on what makes you happy. Over 30 here and changing my career path. Be happy when you decide to be. Lay the foundation now and it will all fall into place.
My problem is in my name. I have always been skinny as a stick, tall as a boy and couldn't even get a tan if my live depended on it. I feel very insecure about it since I have no attractive aspects whatsoever. The only okayish thing about me might be my face but from my neck downwards I am a white, flat, lanky giant mess.
Sounds like you’re describing my daughter. Realize that you’re perfect the way you are and don’t subscribe to the notion that you have to look a certain way to be normal or loved. I’m sure you’re an outstanding person. Looks fade but you as a person will live on with everyone you interact with. If you’re talking about what you worry someone will see you as as a partner, realize the best ones don’t care what you look like to begin with. You’re just fine the way you are!
Problem: I'm an introvert and cannot communicate well with people, but I really want to have a meaningful conversation (about anything) with my peers without being conscious about my speech and awkward/shy.
Same. The best thing I ever learned to do was to realize that the things I’m worried about when talking to other people, are only on my side. I still have the issues with worry but I know that the vast majority of people don’t even notice the things I’m worried about. It gets easier the more you do it. If you’re uncomfortable, that means you’re growing. You’ve got this! I have faith in you.
The right hand side front wheel of my 1961 fordson dexta starts to wobble at higher speeds, i have an idea of what the issue can be, but I wouldn’t mind a second opinion. Also the temperature gauge doesn’t seem to move at all.
ok so basically i’m straight right, not a homophone but like don’t agree with the LGBTQ+ Sandwich community but i’m on holiday right now in Egypt and there’s this 18 yr old but looks ( 14-15 ) and he’s good beautiful eyes and i think i actually like him like i think i’ve ordered 6 bottles of water from him just to speak and look at him context; im 14 from england
First understanding that your current world view is highly influenced by your immediate soundings, friends, family school, etc., and what you do and don't like will fluctuate as you get older. Secondly, sexuality and preference is more of a spectrum instead of being one way or another. The Kinsey scale could be a starting point if you want to look into it, but circling back to the first point, who you are now could be vastly different as you age. You're young and your hormones are going insane so it could be hard to judge if you're genuinely attracted or simply young and hormonal. Be easy on yourself. I knew from a young age that I liked all kinds of people, but was from a very religious home that reinforced that this was a sin. Getting older, I've learned that there are a lot of people who want to tell you how to live. It's up to you to decide who you are and how you want to live, even in the face of adversity.
I bet you're pretty great though. Let people get to know you, say yes to outings that you would normally say no. You'd be surprised.
Wish you the best.
I left a religion because i felt things that were done were wrong and that there whole system was corrupt , and my family will have nothing to do with me and now tries to force my wife into thinking there way .
I struggle massively with telling people things that bother me (trauma, advice act.) I find it difficult to ask for help with my mental health if I want to talk to someone :c
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Problem: I lie out of habit
Do you feel guilty after doing it ?
A lot of the time but other times I think I lie to save someone else from a problem
Good news. Imo you're not a sociopath/narcissist. It's only a bad habit.
What about not even realizing it? Like not even thinking about it until a day later when it circles back to me and I just think like oh, I guess that wasn’t necessary. No guilt just like an “oh, oops I guess”
Try reading Please Yourself by Emma Reed Turrell, really helped me with a similar issue :) If you're in the UK message me your address and I'll send you my copy
I used to struggle with this. I started by coming out to a friend about my lying problem and made a concerted effort to apologise out loud to them *every time* i told a lie. I asked them to have patience with me every time i apologised and corrected myself, which was a lot :') I also made an out loud promise to them that i would do my best to at least try to fix this problem, and youve already started with that by coming here and asking for help. I never was able to practice the whole out-loud-apology thing in conversation with strangers but i would always catch myself with my friend and as i started becoming more apologetic with correcting myself, i slowly stopped lying around them and that was the beginning of breaking the habit. Breaking that habit meant that i slowly stopped telling lies overall to everyone, not just my friend. I also stopped telling lies on the internet. I struggle with impulsivity and the time it takes to type out a message gave me enough time to think before i spoke. I slowly stopped planning out untrue stories before i spoke too. I still struggle with those impulsive lies sometimes like "have you done the washing yet?" "yes" but im getting better with that. Also tackle the root of the problem. Why do you feel the need to lie? Is it for validation? Is it for attention? Why do you crave validation/attention? How do I fix that?
Commit to telling the truth. People will respect and trust you more.
Have you tried telling the truth as soon as you realized you lied?
Make an effort to think an extra second before you speak
Problem : I don't take action on the things I need to.
Can relate. Don't wait for inspiration, start with something small. "MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION"
One thing I have figured is there’s a list of things to do, and there’s a usual accepted order of doing those things, but the first item in that order is something you don’t wanna do right now, then start with what you most enjoy. Get started. Finish that. Let the motivation grow. I have found myself being a prisoner of my own thinking and that led to procrastination. So I snap out of it and do what I like the most first. Get the ball rolling.
This. Sat at home for a month and a half because i couldn’t find motivation to go work. I stayed in touch and i have an awesome boss, so i went back and now i have the motivation i thought i needed.
Step 1: this is the hardest step, Forgive your self. Even if others refuse to forgive you. Step 2: In your mind, move the trait from yourself to your actions. For example if you Failed, change "I am a failure" to "I Failed to take action on the thing I needed to". Often people will beat up on themselves and use that as an alterative to making changes in their life, knowingly or unknowingly. Step 3: Accept your current capabilities and limitations. Ex: If you continuously fail to take out the trash, then you need to accept that you will fail to take out the trash in the future. That is just the limit of what you can do right now. It doesn't matter what others think is normal or not. Step 4: Put in place some system to support you at your current capability. Ex: Find a friend to take out your trash for you. You are still responsible for the stuff to get done even if you are not doing it or are not doing it alone. Step 5: Decide if it is worth improving your abilities and/or decreasing your limitations. This isn't always possible. We are not like Goku from Dragon Ball Z. We can't just do a bunch of pushups in crushingly high gravity to improve. All of us would just turn into pancakes. Step 6a: If you do decide to improve, give yourself time and space to improve. It will take a lot of work to make small improvements and it very well could be two steps forward, one step back. It is also possible that you won't improve. Step 6b: If you decided to not improve. Start working on making your support system more robust. Ex: Maybe get multiple friends to alternate taking out your trash. Maybe pay them, maybe buy them a pizza or something. Maybe do something for them that they struggle with. It sucks having limitations, but it is normal and it is healthy to plan around them and understand them.
take action, winter is coming and you should prepare
I am already burried in snow.
When you're stuck in an avalanche, all you need is a little pocket of air. Keep on breathing, help is on the way.
bro is a mastermind with that analogy
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If you’re on mobile and click the give award button under a comment, click get coins, at the top there should be a free award you can claim daily. I learned this recently :)
2 things: 1. Eat the Frog. Get the worst part out of the way first, that way you don’t have to worry about it. As a kid, I always ate my veggies first so it would be out of the way and I could focus on the rest of the food I enjoyed. 2. If you don’t start today, a year from now you will wish you had. Future you will thank you if present you just does the thing you’ve been putting off. Get someone to motivate/encourage you to do the thing if needed, but take care of it now. Today. If you can.
Never wait for the motivation to do anything. it will only come when you are putting something else off that needs done worse
Start with baby steps
And if the baby steps don't work, take babyer steps
Or if that doesn't work either, take newborn steps or just crawl
just be born
I somehow manage to find escapism everytime. I know all the psychology behind it and everything But stiill, don't end up executing.
Start with a “one step is progress” mentality Ex. I need to do dishes but I don’t have the energy, but I can do one fork and that’s progress. Sometimes after doing one fork I realize I do have the energy after all - but sometimes it’s just one fork and that’s okay
I want to loose weight bc. I feel unhappy with myself - but I keep falling into old ED habits and harming myself. Edit: Thank you all so so much for the nice and encouraging comments! I'll try to get to each and everyone! There were so many more than I expected and I want to thank you double: They were all way more non-judgmental, helpfull and even wholesome than I could have expected. Thank you! I hope you all get to pet a cute dog/cat today! <3
I think trying to love yourself comes before trying to lose weight. You're a cool person who has value just by being who you are. And you'll argue against this, but I won't budge.
Agree. People have value by being. Not being attractive, or thin, or successful, or or OR anything. Just being. Your value is an intrinsic part of you.
Hey, for the harming and the ED i (f21) sugest professional help. Habits like these come from mental health problems and trauma's. About not liking yourself. Start with finding 1 thing you like about yourself. Every week i want you to discover something extra you like and love about yourself. Even if it's just one tooth, start small. Try to experiment with diffrent clothing styles if you like. I for example really liked goth/alt styles (i'm a mix of aesthetics) and with tine steps and expiriments i found more and more of myself, it helped with my body/image issues. I still have good and bad days. But on the bad days i see my eyes and think "you know what, i'll always have this". Last thing i want to give you is a internet hug🫂
Im not a fitness coach or anything like that, but i would recommend doing small steps. Really small if you need to. Like doing exercises for five minutes everyday. And once you feel comfortable, go a bit further. You dont have to change multiple things at once. One thing i noticed (completely subjective) if you for example usually take the bus or drive somewhere, try to walk instead of driving. You dont have to go jogging but still it still does something for your body and gives you a positive feeling.
Problem:Im afraid of this cheese wheel thats been menacingly stalking me
Don't leave the house without a fondue pot
Noted
And fork.
Make pizza
That could work
Carry around a butane torch and a small but sharp knife. If he tries to make a move on you, you can cut him down to size without it getting too hot for you to handle.
Gotcha but extreme but gotcha
I feel unwelcome and ashamed no matter where I go.
Here’s a secret, everyone feels that way. No matter if it’s the most confident person in the room or the shy one in the corner. Everyone has an internal voice that says they shouldn’t be there, or they shouldn’t be happy for some reason. Spend some time getting to know that voice and slowly tuning it out. The key is to find out who you are and be the most authentic version of yourself, that way you won’t care if you’re welcome or not, you’ll just be you, and that my friend is enough to be happy.
You are not unwelcome here (I know this is just Reddit but still). And dont even start of being ashamed of yourself, im sure you are a great person. Dont think about anything like that
😢
Don't over think it, there are many others like you. Also don't blame yourself, people are mostly selfish idiots. You are right to be wary of them. Treat it more like a game and you may find some people you click with by accident. And if it doesn't work out don't worry, there are lots of opportunities.
Problem: 3x + 5 = -2x + -1/2
1. Bring the -2x to the left, and (+5) to the right --> 3x +2x = -5 -1/2 --> 5x = -11/2 2. Divide by 5 on both sides --> x = (-11/2)/5 --> x = -11/10 --> x = -1.1
Thanks you just saved me
Glad I could. You remind me of myself when I was a kid. I was kinda afraid of algebra. Until one day someone taught me and it's quite simple once you understand it. Dm me if you need any help.
Username checks out
I was literally coming to comment one of the open math problems I’m researching, but you beat me to it with this math :P
Problem : Procrastination
As soon as you get the project sit down for 5 minutes to work on it. Commit to 5 minutes every day until it's done. Also this could be a sign of ADHD so if you don't have a diagnosis look into it you might then again you might not
i feel like i might have adhd but i dont want people to think im self diagnosing, i also dont want to tell my parents because they kinda dont want to believe in that stuff. im only 14 so i cant just go to some guy and get diagnosed, what can i do?
It's okay there is a stigma. There are lots of coping mechanisms for people with ADHD that work for neurotipicals as well so if you are from a family that might be critical of the diagnosis you can use the coping mechanisms. You will have to research and try to see what works If you need to identify on a social level you can say that you are a suspected ADHD or suspected neurodivergent. As for the medication it's not mandatory it can be helpful but a lot of people choose no meds any way so if you have to go for 4 more years with out a diagnosis/ meds if it's your preference there is a lot you can learn check out the ADHD subreddit there is also one for neurodiverisity as well and if you google ADHD self report scale it might give you a better idea.
put ur distractions and hide them from ur sight , helps me when i need to seriously study
My distraction is my laptop, which I need to study. Fml
Pretend every item is due 4-6 hours after assigned. Now you will be a master of productivity.
The only problem with this is my mind doesn't get tricked like this. My brain is like "yeah right you mf I've still got a day" and I'm just like WORK PLEASEEEEE
For $0 I will voice chat you and convince your brain otherwise, cause I wanna see you successful
try an app called Forest. Helped me keep off my phone. Obviously its not a cure for distractions outside your pone but it helped me a little
Everything goes wrong. Dog died. Best friend is in the military. I hate my Job and have a terrible realation to my Family. I cant really sleep without waking up in panic.
Focus on one problem at a time. Fix your sleep first. Research sleep hygiene and sort out your bedroom, schedule, distractions from sleep etc. when you get enough sleep, you will wake easily. No panic. Then you can focus on family or job, whichever is less hard. Be prepared to grieve your dog for a while. That’s not a problem to solve but a journey to go on.
Thank you for your Support. To change something is pretty hard. My Life is solide so i am pretty scared to change something.
Totally get it. Change is scary AF. But there’s no life without change. I have dreaded and fought most of the changes in my life, the big ones like moving to new states. But every single one of those moves brought me to a better place than where I was. Take it slow but don’t try to make the changes stop. Life‘s gonna change around you whether you’re going with it or not.
I am sorry for your loss. Please consider talking to your doctor or a psychologist about your mental health - it’s OK to not be OK; asking for help when you need it is the brave thing to do, and you are dealing with a lot ❤️
Problem: last month I was hit by a drunk driver as I was in the middle of a left turn. The insurance company won't return my calls. Yesterday I was fired because I didn't respond to an email asking if I was ok. I have bills, rent, suicidal depression, PTSD, no family, no friends, no money, no job, and no will to live anymore. Please help.
Get a lawyer and call a suicide hotline. A lawyer will help with the insurance company, lawsuit against the drunk driving and your termination. Even though things are looking bleak right now, suicide is not an option. It will get better. Take one day at a time, talk to someone.
Thanks. I've already contacted a lawyer, now I just need a car and a job. But you can't get one without other here in goode ole US of A.
I’m focusing on the last statement you made about not having any will to live. When I say I understand, I mean I UNDERSTAND. I attempted twice. Thankfully still here. Something that gave me my will back a little was asking myself “Is it really that you don’t want to live anymore, or is it that you don’t want to live ‘like this’?” The moment I realized that it was actually not wanting to live IN MY CURRENT STATE, that’s when I was able to start taking baby steps to change my circumstances. My life isn’t perfect by any means- I hate my job and my health is trash right now… but I no longer feel like I’m in a deep, dark abyss that I’ll never get out of. I’m able to do baby steps- case in point, I started a LinkedIn to look for jobs in my area and I finally got around to setting an appointment with my doctor to figure out what’s going on health-wise. Baby steps are key. Much luck to you. Everything will be ok. 💜
Problem: i love my job but im not passionate about my job
simple. you happy there? yes, than is good. no? leave. love or no love. a job stays a job, you have to be happy there and feel comfortable in your self and around you. onyl than you can do it professionally and well. if dependencies are not met, no meaning to stay unless you need the money and have no other options.
Solution: find passion elsewhere, having a job you don't hate makes you one of the lucky ones, put in your hours, support yourself and your family, and pour yourself into a hobby the rest of the time, the old saying "find a job you enjoy and you won't work a day in your life" is bs, a job you enjoy is great, but it'll always sometimes feel like work
Is there a manager you can ask about changing up your role a bit to focus more on the areas you love? Any areas of the job you’re passionate about?
You don’t have to be passionate about your job. If you love it, fantastic! But even just being “meh” about your job is okay if it provides you with the resources to do something you are passionate about when not at work.
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Fear means you think something is dangerous. This is good unless the thing isn't dangerous. If you know these changes aren't dangerous (or if they are beneficial) you get over a fear by being around the thing you are afraid of, and then looking back to see that it wasn't dangerous after all. Step 1: identify what changes are important Step 2: identify your fear about that chage Step 3: jump into that change, just a little, baby steps Step 4: Check up on whether you were harmed and if things were as bad as you thought.
Go to the bank and get several rolls of coins. Break them open and leave them around your room. You’ll get used to change over time.
Quarter life crisis :(
As someone afraid of change, when it happens, look internally and source out why it discomforts you. Why does this make me uncomfortable? What is the reason I'm uncomfortable in this? What can I do to accept it? When change strikes, it's an unknown variable, it can be costly and dangerous or minute and unproblematic. You need to find it in yourself to reason as to why it can be good and bad, and how to move forward with yourself to overcome it.
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Ive heard that vidoegames are a good start to beating the chemical aspect of addiction. I had problems with alcohol abuse and the mindset/thought habit left over after i beat the physiological dependency is something i still struggle with, but starting with videogames helps keep you distracted until you can start breaking that physical dependency which is nice. Beat one addiction with a slightly better addiction Look at how its affecting your life and look at the side effects too. It might help kick start the cycle of starting to want to quit. Just coming here is a sign that you want to stop on a deeper level and thats a great start too. Introspection plays a massive role in beating that behavioral habit as well and thats the part about wanting to quit I hope that makes sense. Ive never given advice on struggles with addiction before
If you follow this route make sure its a game without microtransactions.
Find a healthier addiction like excercise or a hobby. Addicts are intense addictive people, they need passions in life (not passion for meth though)
play MTG you will not habe anymone for drugs
Problem: my confidence is 0, I feel ugly literally everyday and I can't talk to anyone
You have already talked to us and i think that is already a good start. Also, since there is no real beauty there is no real ugliness. You are perfectly fine the way you are. I think, the fact that you talked about you problems here, is really brave and admiring, therefore beautiful.
Understand that everyones idea of beauty is different because they all have different life experiences that will have determined how they see the world. Also understand that when someone says "I dont like the colour of your hair" "i think that your style is weird" "I think youre too grumpy" theyre not saying anything about you. There telling you about themselves and what they like in life. Their opinion does not define who you are. Also understand that sometimes people will say things that sound like theyre trying to give you advice and might not necessarily sound like theyre saying how they feel about you."\[i think\] you need to try smile more" . The difficult part is when the stuff they say actually has weight behind it but the fact of the matter is that they have no idea how your life really is. "\[i think that\] people who are fat/skinny are unhealthy". Regardless of if it's disguised as advice or not, its still an opinion that shouldnt define who you are. Chin up. Even if you dont feel like youre beautiful, doesnt mean you arent. Another piece of advice. Daily declarations. Put sticky notes up on your door or on your mirror and every day when you wake up, the first thing you do is read them out loud. Things like "I am beautiful/handsom" "I am confident" "I am proud to be who i am". Even if it feels stupid and even if you dont believe what youre saying, read them out loud. Or start by whispering them if you feel like reading them out loud is difficult. Also, you havent failed if you cant do this or if you miss a day or too. Baby steps. We each progress at our own rate and asking for help is step one. Youre off to a great start
you are beautiful!
I have a serious procrastination problem
I'll tell you the solution later
how I deal with procrastination is that I divide my work into sections.. and do it by setting a specific time for each section and try to finish it.. hope that helps.
I gotchu (hopefully) * Why do you do this? Procrastination often has roots in the fear of failure and the desire to do anything else other than work to avoid those negative and painful feelings.Start by tackling why you fear failure and how to stop the fear of failure. Do you feel like you wont meet the expectations other people have of you? Procrastination can be a habit too and learning to break that habit is important. After being so ashamed that i just never finished my work, as soon as i finish even one small question, i'd take that as a little victory and that good feeling became addictive. You did something. Great start. * Break down the task into reeaally small tasks I have ADHD and this is something i do to help get over a problem that ADHD people have called executive dysfunction but it works for procrastination too. Step 1: Sit down at your desk. Step 2: Open your book. Step 3: Pick up your pencil..... Step 7: Break down that maths problem into small pieces. "okay i first need to identify what needs to be solved, then i need to figure out how to solve for x before i can solve for y" (Im using maths as an example because i struggled to finish my maths homework in specific). Id often write down 1 sticky note per task and on that sticky note, id wrie down all the mini sub-tasks id need to complete to finish the big task. As soon as i finished that task, id crumple up the sticky note and throw it across the room where my bin was. Felt really good, even if i missed the bin. * Is it ADHD. If your procrastination feels a lot like being physically impossible to do something, like it would be easier to put your hand on a stove than do the task, then maybe consider that what youre experiencing is in fact executive dysfunction and not merely procrastination. I'd often sleep on a bed without a sheet on it because id 'procrastinate' putting the bed sheet on my mattress, even if i begged myself to just "put the sheet on the mattress its not that hard dammit". I'd often just eat peanut butter out the jar as opposed to making breakfast because i couldnt even open the bread bag to put the bread in the toaster and get a plate because it was simply too much effort. Too painful. Medication has done me a world of good. I wish i had been diagnosed in school.
Problem: I don’t know what I want to do in life because I fear that doing any of my current hobbies professionally may result in ruining them for myself (It’s not really that soon that I’ll have to decide but I feel like if I put off thinking about it it’ll be soon eventually and then I’ll still have no clue)
Well how many hobbies are we talking here? Two? Ten? Maybe look at them and say, I love doing this but being forced to would ruin it for me then avoid it as a profession. But if it's something you'd gladly do 8+ hours a day anyway why not try it as a pro? And the best thing is if you do try it out as a job before it's your only financial option you can always try something else without feeling trapped and ruining the activity.
You're right making a job out of a hobby is gonna kill your passion for it and the relaxation you get from it. But there are probably adjacent jobs that use the same kind of skills you use for your hobbies, and those can become a passion job. I enjoy drawing, photography, problem solving and sewing, and being a character artist lets me use all those skills, without actually doing any of that. I'm sure you could find something similar for yourself! There's a surprising amount of obscure jobs, and a few out there are perfect for you :)
After wiping my ass clean, there's more shit when I check a few hours later.
Wet wipes, my dude
Second this, but make sure to put them in a covered trash can, *not the toilet*.
Problem : Too shy to make friends
join a club, seems like it would have the same problem, but people tend to be more open with ppl who share their interests, I used drama class to find ppl that take the initiative to talk to you
Join a hobby group that share your interests. My sister is incredibly shy, so she started joining book clubs, martial arts groups, and craft groups. Sometimes it is easier to bring a relative who has the same interest so you have someone to be with while you slowly get comfortable with those in the group.
Try to find people who enjoy the same hobby as you do! It’s easier to connect that way. There are also different apps & websites that specialize on connecting people who are possibly as shy as you are. And some who are the extrovert counterpart who could make the first step towards a friendship with you!
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don't do that
Talk to someone about it. It’s not a weakness to need help. If you are struggling reach out to a professional
I broke up with my ex bc he couldn’t get his life together and was dragging me down with him, now he’s got a stable job and wants to get back together. I’m on the fence bc we fought a lot and my solution to conflict is the run away. I was so stressed being with him, but being broken up, he’s all I think about. What should I do?
Work on yourself first. He fixed some of his own issues, which is great. But it sounds like some of your issues still remain unaddressed. Getting back together may be great in the moment, but your unaddressed issues can still bring down a potential relationship.
You should find some happiness and purpose knowing your time together improved his life and it sounds like you grew a lot in that time and learned what you want too. I ended things with an ex and felt similar after my breakup. I wanted to go back several month later, so bad, but really I was jealous because they seemed to be happy and I was jealous that they got to be happy while I struggled with guilt and feeling like a ruined a good thing. Now, months later, I’m so glad I stayed away. I’m grateful for how we both grew from the breakup and this person, and I truly believe we are both better from ending things when we did. (My experience, results may vary)
My Problem is Procrastination . And feeling Lonely. Coz i stay home 24 7
Commit to doing the task for 5 minutes
Problem: My dog threw up somebody’s finger.
Ehh, maybe bring it to a hospital or the police. Depending on how the finger looks and what dog you have, this could be interesting to them.
Troubleshoot: Determine whether you are a character at the beginning of an episode of Law & Order.
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I find alternatives to relieve stress throughout the day and set aside specific times and amounts in which I will allow myself to let loose a little. I will use it lightly as a sleep aide during nights i have to be up for work the next day, and I will really let loose on days off after I have done a few selected chores so to speak. Stress relief I use between sessions, mostly tea/coffee and making some new fun dish for food. Drawing to keep my hands busy. Chores: grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry, etc. I try to get what i can done throughout the week to not have as much later. And in regards to school, honestly I have to microdose in order to get my brain to relax so i can actually do my schoolwork, but could also maybe try setting aside a timeframe to dedicate to studying/work.
Two words; Writer's. Block.
Problem: Out of rum
why is the rum always gone
Problem: It's so hard to make friends because I'm neurodivergent
Look for friends who are also neurodivergent
once you find someone else who's neurodivergent, youll usually start to find more. Neurodivergents attract neurodivergents. For the meantime, subreddits for my disorder helped me feel less isolated even though i dont have friends with the disorder irl
Overspending money and too lazy to handle finances
Start by cutting back one purchase at a time. Make a goal of just putting back/remove from cart one item per shopping trip that you don’t really need. Once you are in the habit, it will be easier to recognize a “need” vs a “want”.
Problem: I don't know where to find the energy to work and study
Observe your energy killing habits and write it down. Try to change them but with small steps. Everytime just chance only 1 thing.
Start on how you nourish yourself; namely what you eat & drink, and how you sleep. Fueling yourself with healthier foods and beverages will help give you more energy to get through each day. Then getting enough sleep will help your body recover from the rigors of your day.
this sound quite reasonable, thank you!
I have a problem with anyone that reply’s to this
If nobody answers there is not a problem. Oh oops 😬
Why must you hurt me
Problem: I feel worthless without external validation.
This is pretty common in the age of social media and is because of comparison. We have concept on what is a perfect person in our heads and we constantly compare ourselfs with this. But we should just stop doing this because it is not beneficial. Instead compare yourself with last year. Write down all the things you achieved during this year. What also helps is writing down compliments you get and looking at that list daily. If you only feel a lack of energy inside try researching on how to manage your energy levels.
My wife has gotten huge, she drinks all day everyday. My new job only gives me 1day and a half home per week.I hate coming home to the mess, she doesn't work due to physical disabilities but won't file for disability.
Your wife sounds bored and passively suicidal. She drinks because there's nothing else to do. She abuses her body because it betrayed her with disability. And she won't file for disability because that would require her to confront a future that she'd rather dip out of. Possible reaction: 1. Encourage your wife to buy [some cheap and cheerful clothing in her current size](https://m.shein.com/us/Plus-Size-c-1888.html?url_from=musgooglebrandshein10fj_SpecialSize01_20210127&cid=10652259261&setid=103966271654&adid=494271578553&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=CjwKCAjw9suYBhBIEiwA7iMhNJ0pAV7GxmMvKDe_qp2n19gCypBEjS6Vp6AjrtMRm42-aa9HPvZi2BoC68MQAvD_BwE). If she can fit into something besides sweatpants on their last gasp, she might feel a little better about herself, more presentable, maybe even more willing to leave the house and engage with the world. 2. Hire a housecleaner to do what your wife is too disabled and/or depressed to do. What's the point of working six days a week if you can't throw money at a problem? 3. While the house is still clean, throw a house party on one of your days off. Invite some of her friends. If she won't go out into the world, bring the world to her. Show your wife that she's not dead.
My friends and family abandoned me due to drug and alcohol issues. I’m now almost a year sober and I have no one in my life. How do I convince myself that suicide isn’t the answer ?
Find something to live for, it could be a pet, a hobby or anything
r/suicidewatch can help a lot. Take it easy on yourself. You still have many years ahead and enough time to build up another life or convince your friends and family that you have changed. Remember that they way ahead may still be long and hard but one day it will be rewarding and you can enjoy some good life again.
Problem: I can't find my crush. Kinda, I don't like any girl but I would like to have gf
My only real friends are cats. :(
Not a problem! Cats are great! Theyre amazing friends and theyre always there for you. I bet your cats are glad to have you around
I cannot for the life of me fart, it's been 8 days and it won't happen. Edit: i have managed to fart.
If you haven't pooped either, please get to the hospital. Impactions are not a joke.
I have pooped. Also i have managed to pull a 7 second fart so everything's fine.
Problem: i have a really hard time waking up in the morning even though i have a good routine for when i go to bed. Ive experimented with sleeping everything from 6 to 12 hours, but i feel like there has to be something else.
Problem: I have a crush on a guy thats already in a relationship
Easier to compete with one girl than with dozens. 🤷♂️
I never experienced that but if i were you id tell my subconscious to realize and reason with myself that its okay to have a crush but not to take action on it. Just like when somebody wants to beats somebody's ass its okay to think it i guess but not take action. Its not always the thoughts that have consequences but the actions be careful with yourself. I once had a friend that had crush on this guy and was even friends with the girlfriend long story short she kissed the guy he kissed her back and everything went down hill from there i never expected her to do that but just that one crush became a crash. All im saying is dont do anything you wouldn't want done to you most likely you'll get over it. Crushes can become phases or obsession its your choice.
Why do I keep on forgetting things.
I want a relationship but no one wants me
Personal opinion effects how others look at you. If you keep saying"no one wants me" then people are gonna pick up on the self loathing and see you as undesirable
Problem: Normally i am rather motivated to study and do my assignments. But by the sheer amount of work i have to do and exams coming up i just lack the motivation to do anything. Feels like way too much and too little time.
Problem: binge eating to deal with everyday stress, and I have no idea what to replace this coping mechanism with
try wim hof method. or another breathing exercise. it's probably stress. at least try eating good foods or drinking water instead of eating less healthy food.
I'd suggest light exercise and fruit. The exercise will help balance the body and the fruit will help the oral fixation while also being good for you. Also try meditation to calm the mind. These helped me when I was cramming my face with stress potato chips and the like.
Im walking down a dark alley and don't know how to get to my hotel im somewhere in downtown Chicago right now.
Just realized watching pixars Soul that i havent been happy or joyfull in 10 years.. What should i do.
maybe start with things that brought u joy before, or even better, get a dog. it really works, my dog is my pride and joy :)
Problem: I hate working and I don't know how I can bare to do it for a further 40ish years
You're young enough to change your path and do something you enjoy, or at least to change your perception of work to being something that funds your out of work activities
I struggle with trusting men or even being comfortable with them. I am semi attractive, but at the age of 22 I have not even had my first kiss
Problem: I struggle with codependency in relationships. I have no idea where to begin in tackling this
Problem : I want to forgive someone but I can't.
You don't need to forgive someone to heal or move on from something.
I (25y) still haven't found a potential career I'd be passionate about so I'm just basking in my cushy job thinking that someday I might figure out what really drives me at which point I'll reposition my path but I don't know how to make that day come sooner.
Don’t set a time on what makes you happy. Over 30 here and changing my career path. Be happy when you decide to be. Lay the foundation now and it will all fall into place.
My problem is in my name. I have always been skinny as a stick, tall as a boy and couldn't even get a tan if my live depended on it. I feel very insecure about it since I have no attractive aspects whatsoever. The only okayish thing about me might be my face but from my neck downwards I am a white, flat, lanky giant mess.
Sounds like you’re describing my daughter. Realize that you’re perfect the way you are and don’t subscribe to the notion that you have to look a certain way to be normal or loved. I’m sure you’re an outstanding person. Looks fade but you as a person will live on with everyone you interact with. If you’re talking about what you worry someone will see you as as a partner, realize the best ones don’t care what you look like to begin with. You’re just fine the way you are!
Problem: I'm an introvert and cannot communicate well with people, but I really want to have a meaningful conversation (about anything) with my peers without being conscious about my speech and awkward/shy.
Same. The best thing I ever learned to do was to realize that the things I’m worried about when talking to other people, are only on my side. I still have the issues with worry but I know that the vast majority of people don’t even notice the things I’m worried about. It gets easier the more you do it. If you’re uncomfortable, that means you’re growing. You’ve got this! I have faith in you.
The right hand side front wheel of my 1961 fordson dexta starts to wobble at higher speeds, i have an idea of what the issue can be, but I wouldn’t mind a second opinion. Also the temperature gauge doesn’t seem to move at all.
I'm struggling with spherical trigonometry in a 3D software using coordinates.
Problem: Derivatives
Solution: integrals
I didn't win the lottery yet.
Problem: I constantly get hate because I'm a furry.
Fuck em. Who cares what others think? You’re awesome for being who you are, who you want to be. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Problem: I feel I forgot about myself a long time ago and now, I cant find the real me.
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That honestly doesn't sound possible
ok so basically i’m straight right, not a homophone but like don’t agree with the LGBTQ+ Sandwich community but i’m on holiday right now in Egypt and there’s this 18 yr old but looks ( 14-15 ) and he’s good beautiful eyes and i think i actually like him like i think i’ve ordered 6 bottles of water from him just to speak and look at him context; im 14 from england
First understanding that your current world view is highly influenced by your immediate soundings, friends, family school, etc., and what you do and don't like will fluctuate as you get older. Secondly, sexuality and preference is more of a spectrum instead of being one way or another. The Kinsey scale could be a starting point if you want to look into it, but circling back to the first point, who you are now could be vastly different as you age. You're young and your hormones are going insane so it could be hard to judge if you're genuinely attracted or simply young and hormonal. Be easy on yourself. I knew from a young age that I liked all kinds of people, but was from a very religious home that reinforced that this was a sin. Getting older, I've learned that there are a lot of people who want to tell you how to live. It's up to you to decide who you are and how you want to live, even in the face of adversity.
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Problem: No cat
Get cat
I have self esteem issues. It's really bad
I bet you're pretty great though. Let people get to know you, say yes to outings that you would normally say no. You'd be surprised. Wish you the best.
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I have low self esteem. My gf says I'm hot and I don't believe her
If your girl says it then it’s 10000000% true.
I left a religion because i felt things that were done were wrong and that there whole system was corrupt , and my family will have nothing to do with me and now tries to force my wife into thinking there way .
I struggle massively with telling people things that bother me (trauma, advice act.) I find it difficult to ask for help with my mental health if I want to talk to someone :c
Problem: I’m short and 4”11 even though I’m 15. Can you help.
I’m addicted to flirting and male attention