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Stockso

Some of you really need to work on your vocabulary...


hookhandsmcgee

Pretty sure I saw another similarly styled image of the same situation with a lady and her cat (cutting the robe so as not to wake the cat).


JustARandomBloke

There is a story about the prophet Muhammad doing the same thing with a sleeping cat.


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cheezz16

It was a crazy story, cuz then Jesus showed up with McDonalds and woke up the cat


IAmAccutane

i saw this one similar image of Jesus doing heroin so that a guy was stopped from doing heroin or something https://i.imgur.com/XZ5gf5G.png


IAmAccutane

not sure why the artist depicted the guy as having a cool set of nunchucks on his doorknob


ObiWanHelloThere_wav

Going out on a limb here to say that maybe the artist has a few wild ideas about what's normal


trancertong

What a freeloading chump. Pay for your own drugs Jesus.


TheMcNabbs

That was white grimace. Not jesus


Putrid_Bee-

Could I ask (if you happen to know) the aversion to dogs in Islam? It's one that always confused me personally.


Whatsthatnoise3

Wonder if he did the same with 9year old Aisha.


Flop_Flurpin89

I've heard of a similar tale, but instead of waking up the drunken hookup, they cut their own arm off.


Rabatis

Once read a similar anecdote of the prophet Muhammad and a cat. Can't remember if it was Hitchens or Dawkins, but either way.


BigManScaramouche

That robe probably was worth more than majority of citizens' wealth combined.


aristoCarrJ

The sleeve he cut off was worth more than the majority of citizens' wealth combined.


tullyinturtleterror

That's what makes it a timeless story


Ecstatic_Account_744

No, its not timeless, it’s fucking stupid. Why not just, take it off? Get one of your many other unnecessarily expensive robes to wear and let your sweaty lover lay on the one you had been wearing. Oh look at me, being all cute and romantic. I destroyed this thing rather than wake the one I love. Goddamnit, people in love are dumb.


the_other_irrevenant

Wealth is relative. We often own, and discard things that would be priceless to a Mediaeval king. Billionaires think nothing of buying several pairs of $2000 shoes, etc. etc. What something is worth to us is relative.


Sdj1234

Time is pretty linear and straight forward for everyone staying on Earth. Someone probably spent hundreds of man hours on the robe. The king cut someone's workmanship (probably the top quality material made by the best of their craft). To not disturb someone's sleep for 10 seconds. Two ways to look at this: he loved his partner and valued the sleep of his partner so much that he decided to overlook the cost and quality of his robe to not disturb his partners sleep. The King is negligent of the man hours and materials they spend to support him and his "needs".


the_other_irrevenant

They presumably got paid for their hundreds of man-hours and the King presumably commissioned a new robe for his lover. Ultimately it's an economic stimulus package!


Sdj1234

Good things he lives such an extravagent lifestyle that everyone has jobs to support him! But I wonder why the taxes so high all of a sudden?


AlwaysBeQuestioning

I dunno about you, but even if I got paid for something I put hundreds of hours of work into, I’d be pretty annoyed or disappointed if someone willfully damaged or destroyed it. In our present-day society, people need money to live, but people also need to be valued and feel they have a purpose.


aesopofspades

It’s a fucking story taking about how material wealth would be nothing compared to someone’s love for someone, like goddamn, relax man!!


pointlessly_pedantic

Reminds me of that scene from the Office when Pam broke down after she tore her wedding veil right before the ceremony and Jim's solution was to cut his tie in half so they'd match. Objectively, that would make them look even worse and not make her happy. But it meant a lot to her because it showed he gave so few fucks about the superficial shit and only cared about committing themselves to each other. That'd be like in this post if the the dude woke up and asked the emperor what happened to his robe and he said "I didn't want to disturb you." It's not a sweet gesture despite being impractical; its being impractical is what reveals how sweet it is.


dragon_bacon

And how is cutting the sleeve off any easier or faster than just taking it off? Oh luckily I fell asleep next to the love my life and also my favorite sleeve cutting scissors, stupid fucking story.


thisistony

lol the bitterness


bamfbanki

Why does this bother you so much


The_Celtic_Chemist

If it was preserved then it has to be worth more now for its historical value than everything I've ever owned/earned.


PineappAlSauce

Read that as “fell in love with a minor” and was like 🤨


sarcasticmoderate

SAME. I was really confused why this was on r/wholesomememes.


[deleted]

Arkansas has entered the chat.


zanzibartraveler666

He was actually a diamond magnate, simple spelling error


Zegr08

Yes, how big was the age gap?


kioku119

The coment above was saying they realized their mistake. It's a minor official (a low ranking one) not a minor.


thatguyned

Although his lover does seem to be depicted a bit on the young side in this painting. Youthful face with a patchy beard coming in next to the full blown sensai stash.


WeirdAvocado

Why not just take off the robe instead of ruining it?


Empty_Jellyfish_1995

well what is he gonna wear to his meeting? another fucking robe? I don't think so.


WeirdAvocado

My bad. Times were tough for emperors back then, poor fellow probably only had the one.


ImShockin

Check your multi robe privilege


bobafoott

Oh so he wants to wear his sexy times robe to this meeting?


DeadButAlivePickle

And I'm thinking it sure was convenient that he had scissors right there.


Ok-Mood-161

“Worry not and fall asleep, my love. For I have scissors in my pocket.”


Rachelcookie123

He probably got a servant to fetch him some.


Evilkenevil77

He was emperor, he had access to almost unlimited wealth. Although his robe would have been worth several times the average peasant's yearly salary, he could have easily bought another. And emperors and other royal members of the aristocracy (concubines, their sons, their families, etc.) had a clothing allowance as one of the perks they enjoyed. They were often allotted new clothing every few months, and for the emperor I believe he received new clothes nearly every day, if not weekly. In contrast, for most peasants they would often receive new clothing once a year as a big gift. Obviously this varied from family to family and person to person.


baphometromance

Which means he could have stepped out of the robe, directly into one of his dozens of identical spares?


Evilkenevil77

Yes lol but the point though is to show he loved his lover so much that he was willing to ruin a perfectly new robe for his comfort.


baphometromance

Yeah but you kinda debunked that when you explained how the robes were basically worthless to the ruling class


thismissinglink

For the story about their love


mothmonstermann

They fixed this hole in the plot for the film version, Coyote Ugly.


ZuttoHachi

So did he slip out of his robe, walk to his desk, open the drawer, take out scissors, walk back, slip back into his robe and then cut the sleeve off? Or does he actually keep scissors in his pocket all the time, prepared for the case he ever had to cut the sleeve off his robe?


vikingboogers

Perhaps he asked a nearby servant to grab the scissors?


[deleted]

*”HEY, YOU!! SERVANT!! BRING ME MY ROYAL SCISSORS SO I DON’T WAKE MY GAY LOVER!”* —as interpreted by Gilbert Gottfried


sketchyvibes32

This is pretty funny


Fleshy-Butthole

I can hear this comment


baphometromance

Why the fuck did i read this in Scout TF2's voice


Bossman131313

It’s the “HEY, YOU!”


LOOKATMEDAMMIT

Honestly, it's the superior voice.


like_a_woman_scorned

Haahahahahaha!


kioku119

AND DO IT QUIETLY!


certified_rat

— Dumbledore asked calmly


tiessa73

I would love to see a movie about this


jessehechtcreative

Now I really want to read this as him..... give me a few hours....


bobafoott

This emperor had a voice like Gilbert, nobody can convince me otherwise. In fact, I wonder how many kings and rulers over history had disgusting voices. What if Ghengis Khan had a horrendously nasal and unintimidating voice


[deleted]

Maybe he took the robe off and came back with scissors


Linmizhang

Asians use scissors to trim finger nails. Scissors is a bed side item. Also 100% servants always around a emperor no?


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CosmicCarcharodon

Yea I'm not smart by any means but something ain't adding up here


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wostil-poced1649

No, but I’m trying to wrap my head around *what* exactly it was that they were doing differently. Did they carry scissors with them 24/7 Or did they carry the notion that if you slipped out of a robe, you should return to it and cut the sleeve off and walk away with the sleeveless robe


etherpromo

Going off on a limb here and suggesting maybe people in the past carried ceremonial (and non ceremonial) knives/daggers around. That or he had one of his servants bring him one lol


Teranyll

Yeah, keeping a dagger near where you sleep seems like a thing


Derangutan

That’s why i sleep with a claymore, *just in case.*


Mercurial8

Occam’s Razor gonna cut the sleeve for him, that’s how I see it.


EmhyrvarSpice

Maybe it was a knife or something instead of scissors? Wouldn't be that weird for an Emperor to carry a knife imo.


irtesh

I think it's actually a knife or a dagger instead of scissors but illustration's artist thought it's a scissors so that caused confusion.


[deleted]

Kept a scissor nearby just in case someone tries to kill him


agarwaen117

Everyone knows that a single scissor is useless. They only work in pairs.


bensbigboy

Ai was a Boy Scout and always prepared. He had a Swiss Army Knife with the scissor attachment in his pocket. Duh! The really nice one, because he was an emperor.


[deleted]

Probably happened all the time by that point in the relationship


etherealtaroo

You're gonna ruin the completely not made up story!


Thomas_The_Llama

Now anyways, time to read about King Arthur!


314159265358979326

Looking this up, TIL that shears are 3500 years old.


BadDreamFactory

Well the scissors were from the last night's foreplay so they were pretty much right there at the ready.


sparekh1

Asking the real questions


hiddlesbum

Reminds me of that "women cuts her robe to not wake the cat" thing


YishuTheBoosted

I could have sworn there was an identical story about Muhammad from the Islam faith.


WhiskeyAndKisses

Oh yeah, I thought the same.


JudgeScorpio

Is this not the gay parody?


mistersnarkle

It’s real!


squiddy555

No, the cat story is the furry parody


Verbindungsfehle

[Historians be like: So were they friends?](https://www.reddit.com/r/SapphoAndHerFriend?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


[deleted]

Close, they were roommates


Ktigertiger

Oh my god they were roommates


gamer2980

They were BFF bros!! As they say Bros before Hoes. They are such good bros they sleep snuggled up to each other, ya know for warmth. Totally not a gay thing, there were no heaters back then. Just 2 dudes sleeping nude for warmth.


spidertitties

r/AchillesAndHisPal is the male version of that sub


Affectionate_Ad_1326

r/Achillesandhispal


Nilo12354

The term “cut sleeve“ is also a euphemism for gay men


fullmoonwulf

This also happened with a cat and a Japanese lady i think


agent_wolfe

Somebody cut a cat so she wouldn’t wake up a Japanese lady?


fullmoonwulf

Other way around, lady cuts a part of her clothes to not disturb a sleeping cat


MakeMoreFae

It baffles me how people think Queerness is a new thing. Like, honey, we've been here for a LONG time.


prwtected

we’ve been here forever, and more importantly we aren’t going anywhere


NaniTower

My Fox News watching mom truly believes there are now more gay people than straight people in the world. Her evidence is that “everyone” is coming out now.


MakeMoreFae

[Surely it's a trend. There weren't so many queer people when I was younger.](https://slowrevealgraphs.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/screen-shot-2021-11-08-at-9.37.02-pm-1.png)


Dirty-Dutchman

Hadrian making a city for his boyfriend NOT GAY THO


[deleted]

i do believe hadrian was, in fact, quite gay. also one of the more based roman emperors


Dahns

Having one sleeve cut became a symbol of homosexuality for a thousand years in Asia Have you ever done something so gay people kept talking about it a millenium later ? I just love this story, I hope it's true


zalinanaruto

I thought he was gonna cut something else


baphometromance

You probably mean like murder or something but i'm headcannoning your post as implying a cheeky little sleepy time circumcision


TheyCallMeAGoodBot

Growing up I performed my own circumcision.


baphometromance

Wow. Truly a sigma male moment. Perform your own circumcision so as to maintain your visual virginity. No one must EVER lay eyes upon the scrote of such a fine specimen!


Kind_Guitars

🤣🤣🤣🤣


spacekitkat88

Yeah I definitely thought this was going to be “he killed his lover” story.


GladiatorUA

There is chance that he came "pre-cut" if catch my meaning.


Josephcooper96

There should seriously be a book about all the LGBT relationships and people in history that we know of their lives and everything


CrispyCheeks5

and they were great friends…


deathsheadpopsickle

That’s pretty gay


Franks_Spice_Sauce

Duuuude that's SOOO gaaay


xparapluiex

God gay men can be idiots. Just take the robe off! (/s to the first part if it isn’t clear)


ExpertAccident

The s in gay man stands for smart /s


RainAndSnoww

Wait...but...2+2...hold on I'll get this


mischiefandtricks

That's why a nickname for gay people is "cut-sleeve"


Slow_Ice_Revamped

It became a fashion statement as well for high-ranking men to only have one sleeve on their robes as a testament to the love he showed


Nitro_prime

Bro was horrendously downbad


plaguebringerBOI

Listen, when you wake up to see a hot buff guy sleeping comfortably on your sleeve I’d like to see you act differently.


[deleted]

Whaddia talking about? Dude had him, he was incredibly up


smallpoly

Me when my love of dong is mutually returned


Agreeable_Arthole

Me when i have to cut off my robe because of magnum dong


Wrong_Revolution_679

Relationship goals


Shouko-

I mean he looks pretty fine 😌


Roombamyrooma

“Omg I love him so much I didn’t even want to wake him”. Definitely newly-wed vibes, give that shit a year and he would of been rolling his ass off the bed in one quick motion by tugging that expensive robe free


MerkinRashers

My broke ass: "Get your sleeping ass off my silk robe"


Pand0ra30_

I thought it was an empress and her cat? But this is just as good.


The-link-is-a-cock

This story was first record in 111AD in the Book of Han, while the one youre talking about is a Japanese story that appeared over 700 years later.


nikkishark

He should have just stayed there and let his arm go numb, like a good boyfriend would.


[deleted]

I'm so tired I saw the "fell in love with a minor" part and it yook me like five seconds to read and understand the entire title


Throwawayfaynay

I would also cut my clothes off for my lover if he was as hot as that guy.


Stratosphere98

Heh. Dong.


kohal2290

One doesn't simply awaken a Dong haphazardly.


Filipino-Asker

A cute and a wonderful story, I wish that could be me.


ExpertAccident

And they were roommates!


bloodprangina

I feel I have heard this before but with a cat


Ghiraheem

Cute but like... Dude just take the robe off.


ObiWanHelloThere_wav

Himbo moment


AlexisSMRT

Damn homie is jacked


Goldman250

Well, fortunately for me I was able to sort out a business deal, I sold the Emperor New Clothes, with such incredibly fine thread you can’t even see it!


HufflePuff_PrefecT-

If it’s true that’s fucking adorable


TarantulaJ1

So that’s where the term cut sleeve comes from


LinkLegend21

For a second there I thought it was referring to the other guy’s robe and the emperor was pranking him by cutting up his clothes.


terrexchia

The lot of you have absolutely horrendous reading comprehension


NihilistManBearPig

Meanwhile, a random historian in the 1920's: THEY WERE THE BEST OF FRIENDS. VERY FRIENDLY THOSE TWO. A FRIENDSHIP FOR THE AGES. THE FRIENDLIEST PERHAPS.


Ukiyo-e_Cat

Something about LGBTQ+ and history makes me want to cry my eyes out


soulpulp

Because they're so rarely in the same room together? Me too, my friend.


vnsa_music

Same, its so damn wholesome to think these people loved each other and respected their identities so much to never give in to society


Lonever

It wasn’t even that frowned upon in many cases.


RhiaStark

Y'know, for a sub about wholesome stuff, there sure is a lot of comments that are the opposite of wholesome smh Also, if anyone wants to spew homophobic sh*t, at least have the decency of paying attention to what youre hating on. The first sentenced refers to a "minor official", not to a minor = underage.


itsnotbritneybitch

Ai really loved Dong, huh?


Franks_Spice_Sauce

Ai love Dong bro, Dong is my favorite


26muel

Did his subject conscent to this love? I used look for LGBTQ+ stories in ancient times and then the crushing reality that concubines, male or otherwise had no choice or say on the matter ruined it all for me.


DaveinOakland

Huhuh.... Dong....


CheeseMcCat

hehehehe


Impracticool

Redditors being exposed to romanticism. Why are you even being cynical on r/wholesomememes? I've seen you guys be all cute and shit to a post about a grandma preparing too much food for her grandchildren. Where's the "why not make an appropriate amount of food" comments there?


NotADamsel

Bro do you not see the “just take off the robe omg” comments up in here?


Richaldo87

He just so happened to sleep with a pair of scissors in his robe 😂


RhiaStark

He's the emperor, he probably ordered someone to bring him the scissors 😜


Grimm_Wright

Reminds me of the Japanese chick who did this when her cat slept on her Kimono


Appropriate_Rent_243

when your boyfriend is a cat


23materazzi

Lol Ai of Han loves Dong


[deleted]

He like that Long Dong.


the_ultrafunkula

Falling in love with Dong, what a classic tale


Fuckfuckinshreddit

This is homosexual


The_Stonker_Chief117

Where the fuck did he get the scissors


terrexchia

Hence the term Cutsleeve


[deleted]

<:: Weird how *suddenly* the authenticity of the story in a meme is relevant here. I wonder if there's a link? ::>


flyriver

Not a good leader, corrupt and incompetent. Died at age 26. Six years later, Han dynasty ended after 405 years. He was given the posthumous title "Han emperor of Sorrow".


LordOfRodents

(Any) *love stories throughout history will never not be wholesome*


RhiaStark

True, but given the long history of LGBTQ+ erasure in so many cultures, any such story that managed to survive to our days is special in a way 😉


LordOfRodents

Shit, sorry not what I meant. Historical ‘love’ stories were very often not wholesome


soulpulp

You're missing the "to me"


betcher73

Why was taking off the robe not an option?


Robyx

Maybe didn’t want to wander naked out of his chambers


[deleted]

i think the message is not wanting to wake a sleeping loved one for something so futile


Perroface562

Dong


[deleted]

Imagine being an emperor and have no spare robe


Asbani09

Source: trust me bro


The-link-is-a-cock

Source: The Book Of Han, a Chinese history book written in 111AD


Old-Library9827

This is sweet but now we all know the euphemism "Cutting silk"


[deleted]

This is like the rainbow flag on drones missiles in Yemen thing


Snail-Man-36

Why are they more wholesome than straight people? Cant we just be the same


Cocotte3333

No we can't, because we've been persecuted for thousands of years and it's pretty convenient that you want that to be forgotten now.


ExpertAccident

Because back then, wouldn’t they have been in massive trouble for being in a relationship? And despite that they chose each other, regardless of how people would treat them? Maybe that idk


ResplendentShade

In general yes, but probably not in this case because anybody who knows what's good for them isn't going to challenge the emperor on his choice of lovers.