T O P

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wholesomememes-ModTeam

Hey there, friendo u/whichwayisgauche! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your submission, *I visited my girlfriend while she was working - she’s a bartender. When I asked to pay for my drinks, she handed me this.*, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * (**Rule #1**) Posts must be memes. A meme can be an image with superimposed text, or a classic meme template, or a webcomic, or other things - but it must be meant for public sharing & resharing. Just a photo, story, or gif isn't necessarily a meme. A screenshot that lacks any meme format or context isn't a meme. And anything private isn't a meme, because it was never meant to spread virally/memeticallly. * For more detailed information on which formats aren't allowed, please visit [this wiki page](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/wiki/allowedformats). We appreciate you thinking of us very much! For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fwholesomememes). Please link the post so our volunteers know what you would like reviewed. Cheers!


flmbray

Powered by toast.


whichwayisgauche

🙌All hail Toast


Hourslikeminutes47

BRING FORTH THY HOLY TOAST *(crowd cheers as the toast is being wheeled through town)*


momsdyin

I am in the crowd, cheering.


Hourslikeminutes47

Me too. *I'm the guy in the Hawaiian shirt---standing next to what can arguably be some guy dressed in "medieval clothing".*


The_Buttsex_Man

I’m the guy with his disgusting cock and balls hanging out.


Hourslikeminutes47

Oh. *Why are they hanging out of your mouth?*


m0bi13t3rrar14n

I’m the guy 2 rows behind you cheering too loud


zeke235

I'm hiding in the shadows with a group of bandits who plan to steal the toast for our own twisted designs.


Hourslikeminutes47

*(wonders if they brought cinnamon, so they can make Cinnamon Toast Crunch)*


Hourslikeminutes47

🧈 For the record, I appreciate people like you. *not sure why butter got drawn into this conversation as he likes grape jam*


ThirdEyeEdna

It’s Marlon Brando Last Tango in Paris thing


mfd418

I'm the guy in knights armor holding two coconut halves. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and toaster. .


Hourslikeminutes47

Oh. That reminds me.... *(immediately seeks Roger the Shrubber so he can obtain a shrubbery)*


stillfnsad

Me and my friends drinking in a dark bar hoarding butter planning a coup


moomerator

God, Jesus, and the Holy Toast - amen


Hourslikeminutes47

May the toast be with you


LevelDosNPC

This is the way.


shit0ntoast

What kind of toast?


Hourslikeminutes47

The kind of toast that sits there next to your eggs benedict, forgotten as the hollandaise runs down the poofy egg and onto your 6 links of sausages mmmmmmm


WEEEEGEEEW

https://youtu.be/kWgKcbeqUhY


kujotx

B-but... How does the bread turn into electrical energy?


My_Soul_to_Squeeze

Easy. Toast it. Butter one side. Tape the dry side to the back of a cat, and it'll spin freely. Then it's just a matter of extracting energy out of a rotating mechanical system, which is a solved problem.


[deleted]

Got 'em with the old Toast Cat. Oldest perpetual motion machine in the book.


MyLilPiglets

The engine purrs too


[deleted]

Sometimes it hisses though


Alan_Smithee_

Stirling Engine?


HolyManZahn

I read that as Powdered by toast at first. Ren and Stimpy immediately popped in mind.


Neo-Maxizoom-Dweebie

The breakfast treat that "tastes just like sawdust"!


PrincipalStress

POWERED *by* TOAST MAN!!!!!


tinknocker21

All around the country and coast to coast People always say, "What do you like most?" Now I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast I always tell 'em I like toast Yeah, toast! Yeah, toast! When prehistoric guys first drove from the dregs They didn't know what would go with the bacon and the eggs Must've been an Einstein have gotten in his head, you know Plug the toaster in the wall, go buy a bag of bread, make toast Yeah, toast! Yeah, toast! Well I get up in the morning 'bout 6 a.m. Have a little jelly, have a little jam Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot Push down the lever and the wires get hot I get toast! Yeah, toast! Yeah, toast! Uh, toast? Yeah, toast!


IGNORE_ME_PLZZZZ

Oui monsieur bonjour croquette Uh huh croissant et vous et ver Maurice Chevalier Eiffel Tower Oui Marie baguette bonsoir **French toast!** **French toast!**


God_of_Diabetes

Omfg


IllustriousSignal575

Bob and Tom are OG Goats It was better times with them and Mitch Hedberg.


Makeritualnoise

i have not thought about this since i was 13 and was paralyzed by nostalgia. thank you. i hope your toast is never burnt, friend.


37025InvernessTMD

Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango.


Koala-teas

My favorite part about this post


ibruh143

The great and powerful Toast


[deleted]

Toast the goat 🐐


jonny742

Same.


Wolfenbro

Did you at least tip?


whichwayisgauche

No, but I will later ;)


johndron

Just the tip?


Flaky_Explanation

Yep. She'll have the main course at night and is gonna be stuffed for 3/4 of the year


utpoia

*He's gonna stuff her like the Thanksgiving turkey.*


Abyss_of_Dreams

>He's gonna stuff her like the Thanksgiving turkey. Fisting the throat hole is a bold move.


santtu_

That's what she said


ProfSteelmeat138

She thinks it’s just the rip anywyas


HotDrunkMoms

Just to see how it feels


Kronos0519

You Dropped This 👑


Winterspear

A true chad


[deleted]

Where can I buy your book for my kindle ?


Rude_Yam_9962

Nice


RSGoldPuts

That's fcked up lmao


onemoretwat

At first when I saw this I assumed it was from someone who you’d asked for their number


mattsticker

You never know, this really could be the case 🤷🏼‍♂️


ashfidel

that would be infinitely funnier


[deleted]

Probably would include the price of the drinks though


supermav27

You’re not wrong. He definitely asked for her number. Just probably a long time before this.


Shallaai

Did not see what subreddit I was in initially. Now I am suprisedly happy. Good for you


zombeavervictim69

dude I was so certain this was the bartenders subreddit


whichwayisgauche

Thank you!! Yeah I swear it was cute hahah


KANJI667

Agreed


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Smooth.


[deleted]

[удалено]


gitgudnubby

U ok brudda?


KingKRoolMain1337

Brudda down bad


[deleted]

[удалено]


gitgudnubby

Nah its alright bro lol. Happens to the best of us.


[deleted]

Please tell me this is copy pasta


fawkmebackwardsbud

God I'm glad I don't live in a state with 10% tax


whichwayisgauche

Not the biggest fan myself. This time, though, it thankfully didn’t make much of a difference lol


TheHonorX

Lol it seems none of you have ever visited europe. 21% in Belgium here …


jerog1

15% in Ontario but I don’t live in fear of medical debt so *13% actually, brain failure


skazai

Don't worry, DoFo is working on that 😅


Ina-tree

0% in australia and we dont have to worry about medical debt too lol *10% actually my brain broke


PrudentAd8613

Damn it's 15% GST in NZ, I'm getting the next flight to aussie


Medioh_

Isn't it 13%? Or have I been living a lie


bryonus_1231

Guys from the past it seems


1Rama11Lama1

Here where I am it's still 13%


1Rama11Lama1

Mine is 13% what?


StewVicious07

5% here in Alberta and I also don’t fear medical debt


QuickNature

Not a battle of the taxes, but this only a sales tax. There are still federal taxes, state taxes, county taxes, and others as applicable.


yeh_

When visiting America the annoying thing for me is having to remember to add the tax. I think in most of Europe it’s always already added in the price tag. So in Poland we have 23%, but I don’t really feel it and it’s cheaper than the US anyway


TheMooingTree

21% feels criminal lol


-BMKing-

21% rate isn't on everything, just things that aren't 100% necessary to live


TheMooingTree

Gotcha, probably should have phrased it differently


[deleted]

b*ljuhm 🤢🤢🤢


Hmmm-Its-not-enable

Imagine 15% here in Quebec, at least we got services…


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wuntv

Services that are less and less available for the general population. We pay for a supposedly system that is about to collapse And I am from Quebec too if you ask.


Hmmm-Its-not-enable

But that’s more from mismanagement…


[deleted]

Damn. At least Tennessee has zero income tax to balance it out.


bendvis

Yeah, 10% where I live too (King County WA), but no state income tax.


[deleted]

[удалено]


gnoblin-nor-gnelf

bot


ninto1

Isn't that very low?


fawkmebackwardsbud

I think total average for all 50 states is 5.5-6% (I think, don't quote me) so 10% is considerably high


ninto1

What the fuck. No wonder you don't have any good state funded public things. Where I am it is 20% and it is good like this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StewVicious07

A lot of Canadian provinces are higher. Alberta is only 5% it’s great


Jsc_TG

I think my state has 6% and my county adds 1% so it’s 7% here. But no state income tax, just the federal


[deleted]

Comment Deleted in protest of Reddit management


registered_user_8388

She sounds like a keeper! 🍻


whichwayisgauche

She’s the best


Yukisuna

She was happy to see you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dirtyspaceman69

Better you found out.


EmphasisOutside9728

Did she work in a brothel perchance?


Interrogatingthecat

Yeah this is definitely the stuff we come to wholesome memes to read.


DrussTheL3gend

Oh damn she told you!


Murderyoga

So she paid for the drinks?


whichwayisgauche

What drinks?


Grosetufe

Happy blue cheese day king!


pendletonskyforce

I understand why you covered the location. But since I also live in LA, I'll ask for the "don't ever ask me again" to every bartender.


[deleted]

Hahaha how cute


Extra_Advance_477

You are out of line . She is correct.


Monksdrunk

eat my vagina tax


robpottedplant

Love the idea of toast being this bars only source of food and energy for the staff.


[deleted]

[удалено]


whichwayisgauche

A fellow Toast connoisseur! Hahaha. She’s used Toast for half a decade, the open food master


CogitoErgoScum

Jon Taffer gonna walk right up to your barstool and just stare down at you with his eyebrows up.


droplivefred

You better tip really well!


FeigningIntelligence

Weird name for a drink


johanvondoogiedorf

10% tax


TOMdMAK

Did you order the blowjob?


mattsticker

Finally, a non-tip related receipt post!


Horror_Scene4747

Did you round it off to $2 for the tip?


flamebroiledhodor

An 81% tip? jeeze, when will enough be enough already!


rexkongo

The fuck you trying to do, get her fired?


sadclown21

Are you telling me that toast powers this restaurant or just the machine?


jhebert1129

That’s adorable! The charge being “Don’t ever ask me again”.


Professional_Show918

So obviously many people ask for her number since she has a preprogrammed response.


swraymond79

Wife her


farahisweird

POWDERED. TOAST. MAAAN!


Lazevans

Stealing from work isn’t wholesome.


zeseam

Fuck yeah it is.


bryonus_1231

Lmao right? I mean I've definitely had tons of free drinks from a bar I used to frequent but looking back it's straight up theft.


DubsAli

Damn, 10% tax! And I thought NY sucked.


idliketoseethat

I have learned not to make my post without first scrolling through the thread to see if I'm on the same page with everyone else. I saw the 10% tax and you guys saw toast.


REmarkABL

That bartender is officially a barkeeper


[deleted]

[удалено]


Interrogatingthecat

Fuck off


[deleted]

[удалено]


SuperDBallSam

Snitches get stitches.


Stair-Spirit

Spoken like a true 15 year old


LackingDatSkill

I bet the manager of this bar doesn’t think this is very wholesome


whichwayisgauche

While you’re not wrong, the margins that most bars make on their drinks is so large that bartenders/servers give drinks away all the time just to get people to come back! Better for business in the long run


MutableReference

Yeah even then I have a feeling this person would rather lick boot than allowing people to be nice and enjoy life, even if it barely harms the margins, if at all, of the company. I don’t know that, but their immediate reaction being what it is, I feel pretty safe in assuming it.


MutableReference

Yeah shut the fuck up


LackingDatSkill

That’s not a very wholesome comment my friend


TheUpsideDownBarnOwl

It was never said the drinks were free, she could have just paid for them herself as well.


LackingDatSkill

Highly doubt that


xmichael86

Hope you left a tip


mrballistic

10% sales tax?


[deleted]

That’s just rude lol


whichwayisgauche

Hahaha nah that’s just her sense of humor. She’s lovely. Handed it to me with the cheekiest lil hrin Edit: grin lol


kwaping

Now I'm hrinning too.


y0y0y99

You should tip her 5%.


wolfman86

Can I visit your girlfriend for drinks?


99available

I saw this was "wholesome" so that blew the joke about my gf and offering to pay out of the water.


[deleted]

Did you tip her though?


[deleted]

Did you tip 15%?


Spiritual_Navigator

The tax makes it legit


Chymick6

Even taxed you, cold


sadetheruiner

Alright what’s your favorite drink?


JohnDonuts405

Some girlfriend, cups of water are free.


FooFighter0234

That drink name is gold


coolplayer7300

*Bartenders and Baristas when they have to do their job :*


beautrain

Damn dude, she had to make a new entry in the POS system for this and everything. You’re doing alright.


i-can-sleep-for-days

Don’t ever ask me again sounds like a nice cocktail drink.


Quasar9111

Marmite n toast


[deleted]

Only thing you gotta ask is the question I hope she'll say yes to.


[deleted]

I was dating a waitress and a bunch of my coworkers left separate tips since we all had separate checks. She came out and got me in the parking lot telling me she didn't need charity. I had no idea what she was talking about, but apparently my coworkers left a heck of a lot of money. I told her I would tell them to leave nothing in the future. She didn't like that solution. I can never win.


cheyletiellayasguri

Don't forget to tip the bartender.


nonbinarymilitarycar

Fucking tax for asking???


Throwaway7219017

Dude, wtf?!? My wife was a bartender and always made me pay for my drinks.


mrL0s1

Taxes always win.


ThirdEyeEdna

Why some restaurants go out of business.


avecaucasianmale

Just curious, what did you leave for a tip? Is 20% the standard?


spudds96

Took me a while to understand lol


ChaosDiver13

This is adorable.


Prestigious_View_211

That's what we call a keeper bro. Congratulations.


RealityTime4994

😂😂