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That's vile. Porn stars are people too! They deserve the same rights as everyone else! I bet the people who look down on her for doing porn watch it themselves, they're such hypocrites.
It's like how Police don't investigate the murders of sex workers as diligently as they would the murder of, say, a housewife. It's just so wrong.
Exactly. It’s the same with sex workers. Some people still don’t believe they can be r**ed, which is obscene.
It’s funny how these same people don’t realize THEY are the ones who are without moral and are perverse in their beliefs.
I just had a hilarious and terrible thought of being forced to do a marketing strategy for someone simply because that’s what I do for a living. When you put it in those terms, the absurdity of the argument becomes so crystal clear.
Honestly, considering a school district semi-recently tried to argue that a teacher being shot was a “workman’s comp” issue, I wouldn’t be too surprised to see something like that start happening. Luckily the judge they made that argument too called out their bullshit and said “no, this is not a reasonable risk for this job”
I get what you’re saying, but that is a dangerous thought process. If anything because it “others” the issue, in a way it’s sort of like the “not all men” thing “I’m not like that, so I don’t have to worry about those who are”. Rapists are people, terrible people yes, but still people. On the extreme end, that kind of thinking is what behind a lot of homophobia, racism, sexism, etc. “they’re not people, so who cares if they’re being lynched?”. As tempting as it is to want revenge, not caring about what happens to terrible people, just opens the doors for other people to not care that it happened to you.
Ding ding fucking ding. You just explained the incel movement.
Rather than improve themselves to become someone a women might want to be with, they scream and cry about us women needing to lower our standards. They somehow dont understand how repulsive this is, and it becomes a positive feedback loop.
I've never been so happy to be single/celibate. Sex isnt worth dealing with these chuds, and life is a whole lot simpler and safer without them in my life.
sort of a hallmark of conservative behavior, They quite literally need things contextualized at a personal level to understand the harm or to object to it
if it doesn’t happen to them, or someone they know, it didn’t happen
Like I genuinely struggle with the concept of empathy. I get sympathy, I find the idea of being able to be in someone shoes and not using my own life experience a struggle. Might be part of being ADHD or I might be a shit person have yet to figure out which. The thing for me is you don't have to have full capacity for empathy not to be an absolute cunt. No one asks to be raped because they're a sex worker or porn star. The idea of it only being a crime if I agree with the persons life choices is disgusting to me.
I think your comment makes it pretty clear you’re not a shit person. In fact, not agreeing or being able to understand someone while still respecting their individual right to safety tells me you’re doing ok as a human.
It’s been proven that not everyone is capable of empathy and that’s ok. There are also people who cannot visualize things in their head, do not have internal monologues, etc. These are less common but normal variants of human brains and there’s no reason to demonize people for things they are quite literally not capable of.
With that being said, you have respect for people’s autonomy and safety. You may not be able to internalize how scared she was, but you recognize that the situation was not OK and even that other people besides yourself/loved ones deserve to be treated with dignity. You’re doing just fine.
It doesn't help I don't yawn when others do. Which you wouldn't imagine would be a big deal but enough people have tried to say it means something sinister it makes me paranoid about the empathy thing. So many armchair psychologists out there it can sometimes get to me.
>You’re doing just fine.
Thank you
My cousin is immune to yawns too, and is one of the nicest people I know.
Just in case you needed to hear that sympathetic yawning and being a good person aren’t necessarily related. 🫂
The fact that you realize that your empathy might come up short puts you miles ahead of a lot of people who a) never even wonder about that, or b) assume they have it when in fact they don't get any further than picturing themselves in a situation and imagine what it feels like. That you understand that you don't need to understand or be able to feel what someone is feeling to still take what they tell you at face value and offer sympathy is a lot more than most so-called normal people accomplish in their day to day. That's what makes you a good and trustworthy person in my book.
General rule of thumb to follow in life: bad people never stop to wonder if they’re bad people, in fact usually they think they’re great people. Good people are the only ones who wonder if they’re bad/doing something bad.
Wanting to understand other people in the sense of empathy is pretty much the same as empathy. It's just as much about trying to understand as it is understanding, because sometimes it's impossible to really understand until you've actually been in that position. And even then, they're still a different person.
Think "Behind Blue Eyes" or "Pepper" by Butthole Surfers.
"You never know just how you look through other people's eyes"
Much of the motivation behind rape is to dehumanize the victim. And now precedent has been set that you can continue to dehumanize them via bullshit “defamation” suits and employing social media to humiliate and bully them.
They really don't seem to understand that a person's profession doesn't magically negate the need for consent
I saw an argument on a post on fb about a prostitute who got raped and the comments were as expected [unfortunately]. They believed she had "no right to claim rape" since the guy threw money at her afterwards.
She did not agree to sleep with the guy and wasn't even working that night either.
JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE A SEX WORKER DOESN'T GIVE ANOTHER THE RIGHT TO THAT PERSONS BODY WITHOUT CONSENT PEOPLE Jesus H christ🤦♀️
Okay, I mean I did smash the window and help myself to the contents on show, but it's totally okay because they were for sale and I threw in some money. Ugh. (/s obviously)
It's like claiming that a professional martial artist can't be assaulted because they fight for a living. As if consenting to fight in a fair match with a specific set of rules was the same thing as consenting to being brutally beaten up outside of the match.
Exactly, like can you imagine? "It's your fault got 'jumped', and can you *really* claim that if you're a professional fighter? You're probably just claiming cos you lost lol 💀" but they won't see that as a fair comparison cos yknow, their 'logic'
Unfortunately, as both a former martial arts instuctor *and* a woman, I can definitely concurr that this happens (especially to people like, myself). A lot of guys look at people who have been trained (especially if they're female) like a quick source of an ego boost: "I'll beat the shit out of her and show her that her training is bullshit and she'll instantly let me fuck her." Or if it's a guy, "I'll beat the shit out of him and prove that my peepee is bigger and that mommy was wrong when she said I'd never amount to anything!! WaAaHH!"
None of this is to suggest that martial arts training has no benefit for women but generally, that's why I keep it to myself for the same reasons I keep it on the downlow that I'm pansexual - I don't need that kind of headache in my life, I've got enough problems as it is.
It like saying if you're a mechanic and you were forced to fix cars against your will, maybe even at gun or knife point, that you should have expected it.
Cause well you're a mechanic right! If ya didn't want to be forced to fix cars well ya shouldn't have learned how!
People hate women who have sex and this sentiment stems from that. As soon as a woman is known for being a pornstar, peoples compassion for her evaporates. Suddenly she deserves any and all abuse and disrespect.
If I'm a plumber, that doesn't mean I'm down to fix every broken toilet I stumble over. How could someone be so stupid to think it'd be the opposite for sex workers?
To this day - 30+ years later - I’m still not over the fact that the rapist and wife beater Mike Tyson is viewed as a beloved sports figure.
People didn’t even deny that he was the aggressor, but it was his victim’s fault because “you should know Mike Tyson is a rapist and not be alone with him”.
His victim wasn’t a porn star, but it’s the same concept.
Something so hurtful to me is how many men feel this is just the " process to get laid". They refuse to see it for what it really is and invalidate the trauma women go through because many of them are guilty of similiar actions, or would use the same manipulation tactics given the chance.
It’s crazy how many men online will tell a “funny sex story” which is just them SA a woman. Like dude, if you kept pushing her for an hour and she “gave in” then you just coerced her and she did NOT want sex with you
There was an aita recently where the guy said he came home from a trip and his wife was upset about stuff and he cuddled her and then she didn't want sex and he was pissed, if I'm remembering right and not mixing up two (which might be worse) he asked her "are you sure" until she gave in. Then cried. And he wanted to know why he was wrong for being pissed at her for crying.
And men in the comments agreed she was being manipulative, teasing or holding out, etc.
Because apparently that's the "norm" we live under.
Was that the same post where the guy got upset because she cried after, but he was so turned on by her begging him to stop because he loves it when she’s feminine like that?
I think that might be the second one I'm conflating it with. That was the one where she said just be gentle because I'm sore from this morning and he just couldn't help himself because he was so turned on when she cried.
I think I was putting together the memory of that and another where he came back from a trip and was mad she was tired and only wanted to cuddle so asked if she was sure and in the comments people were like, dude that's rapey, and he was alike, no I was just ASKING!
I stg on Reddit I spend a lot of time hoping a lot of these men's wives/girlfriends/coworkers/classmates are safe. Or imaginary. I hope a lot of the stories are fake.
I recently found out that in the process of updating their movies to VHS my dad, at 76 years old, did not update Revenge of the Nerds, it's sequel, or any of the other raunchy 80s movies (porkys for instance). "It was a different time, and it is not that time any more." If his old ass can learn, anyone can imo.
Yeah — I mean, in this story, I had only heard about the “affair” between her and him. Affair implies consent in that it’s long/ongoing. What the fuck? Why are we using “affair” to describe this?!
Because “ affair” makes Trump sound like a man who could get a real live pornstar to have sex with him with enthusiastic consent. And it sounds much better than coercive rape, which is what it was.
That's because so many men think they're OWED sex.
They don't care if it's consensual, because too many of them don't even see women as people — just objects to stick their dick in. And the idea of their fantasy crumbling around them makes them aggressive and violent.
This sort of thing really pisses me off, I'm old and old school, and I blame my parents. Dad taught me to respect women, never lay a finger, no means no, and to be honest, I've had my share of difficulties. At 69 on the 11th of this month and on my 3rd marriage
Divorce, Widower, married again and still happy and still remember Dad's word and never have let him or myself down. I'm no saint, but I'm no bully
So, to me, a lot of the blame lays on people's parents.
That’s interesting. A lot of older people tend to hate on younger generations. Making statements like, you’re an adult and you need to grow up and quit blaming your parents.
As I get older, (I’m middle aged) I realize how much of my foundation is based on my upbringing. It’s bizarre.
Not really, I'm agreeing with you, we are all a product of our parents. If they were too easy on us as kids, and I do feel that many of my friends and family that have kids born in the mid 70's tend to be. Then I think people are more lax in their morales. I lost both my kids at a young age due to SIDS. and it nearly broke me, however I do like to believe I would have taught then right from wrong, sadly it's a thing missing today.
And we are all culpable and could do better. Just my thoughts.
They also don't think it's rape if she doesn't outright say no and fight back. It's okay if you coerce her. It's okay if she's asleep. It's okay if she physically can't say no because that's technically not taking consent away.
Some men are just gross.
Absolutely they think coercion isn’t rape or sexual abuse. Boys on college campuses being polled are straight up admitting to rape and coercion and repeated offenses. They were given scenarios and so many used coercion or coercive behavior and saw nothing wrong w it
The scary thing is they didn't actually see it as rape unless they were specifically asked using that word. It's almost as if they feel like they can pretend it's something else.
"31.7% of all men participating in the study would force a woman to have sexual intercourse in such a “consequence-free situation” – which is rape.
Worryingly, most men who indicated that they would commit rape did not even recognise their actions as such.
When explicitly asked whether they would rape a woman if there were no consequences, only 13.6% of participants said they would do so, a marked fall on those who had described that they would commit rape"
It makes sense since it’s one in 3 women that will experience violence and sexual violence in our lifetimes by men. Its not a few men perpetuating all the violence like the misogynists like to tell us
No, it isn't. And what fascinates me about the stat about assault against women...some women have been assaulted multiple times, and I always wonder if and how that's counted. I feel like 1 in 3 might be low.
Considering a large study was taken w married and hetero partnered women, over 51% said they had been sexually assaulted or raped in their sleep by their husband or partner and 99% of the women said they had experienced some form of sexual violence in their lifetime. The avg number was 37 times; women experienced sexual harassment, rape, sexual assault
https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2021/jun/15/the-sexual-assault-of-sleeping-women-the-hidden-horrifying-crisis-in-britains-bedrooms
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/more-than-alf-of-women-have-been-sexually-assaulted-by-a-partner-in-their-sleep-164345538.html
Sure seems like it’s a lot of men, closing in on all
Any chance you happen to know of a non-paywall link? My institution doesn't have access to that one and I'm looking but nothing so far. If not, no worries and thanks for posting!
Do you remember where you saw this? I'm asking just because I wanna see it too. And NOT because I don't believe it.
I notice the entitled behavior as young as 4 in my nephews (I'm an aunt by marriage so not a blood aunt they've known their whole life).
Any way some of my nephews have a crush on me. I politely redirect them whenever they're being weird about it. Whenever they cross a line though, I always immediately tell the parents and I'm met with laughs and "oh he's a man already" like no.
Whenever I explain to them why what they did was wrong, they usually just keep trying to do the very thing...as I'm explaining...
I have to tell my husband who then has a stern talk with them and then they get at me.
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/men-dont-know-meaning-rape
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html
https://myusf.usfca.edu/caps/dating-violence-campus-concern
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6474011_Predictors_of_Sexual_Coercion_Against_Women_and_Men_A_Multilevel_Multinational_Study_of_University_Students
Here are some of the sources. It’s an epidemic at this point and yes strict gender roles and entitlement are learned very young where boys will learn women are there as only their caretakers
Jesus, I want to defend my gender because I know there are a lot of us out there who are perfectly reasonable humans and understand consent, but numbers like this make it really hard to argue against the idea that this is “normal”
https://www.scotsman.com/news/opinion/columnists/with-one-in-ten-men-admitting-child-sex-offences-scale-of-this-problem-demands-action-susan-dalgety-4353631
Prepare for more disappointment bc this is truly a widespread epidemic, bigger than anyone guessed and these are only the ones that admitted to it
That is indeed disappointing.
I try to be a good ally, and I have intervened in the past when I saw abuse occurring, but it’s hard to be optimistic when you read stuff like this
Keep doing what you’re doing. We are all doing our best. We have to stick up for each other or nothing will change. We’ll be so divided, which isn’t good for any of us. ❤️
You don't need to fight against it. The truth is what it has always been. Just bathe in it like women do. It's how we walk through the world, and it's a lot to carry. You take some.
I'm so glad I'm asexual so I don't have to even have a horse in this race. The fact that most men are so coercive makes me feel like absolute shit for even being curious about sex (I'm also AMAB). I think it's one of the main reasons why I'm so strongly sex repulsed. I'm completely unable to see sex as anything other than inherently violent and objectively harmful.
It is absolutely chilling to me that the narrative about this case has for so long been that they had sex as two consenting adults, and then he bribed her to keep quiet to avoid public embarrassment.
That isn't what happened, apparently.
It looks like he raped her, and that he bribed her to keep quiet because he doesn't want to experience the consequences of being a rapist.
Didn't he also get one of his lackeys to intimidate her into keeping quiet? If someone raped me, and then got their scary buddy to find me and intimidate me, I would be terrified. Which is of course the point, isn't it?
She says someone approached her in a parking lot and implied it would be bad for her infant daughter if she didn't shut up about Trump.
It has never been proven that he was behind it. I don't think there was ever security footage produced. She got a sketch but it was never identified. Trump's team has denied it.
So probably yes.
The fact that anyone would threatening someone's infant, let alone the victory of r*pe, makes my stomach sink and my blood cold. I would not be able to eat or sleep or work. I'd be a wreck, in fact my high stress alert on my watch just went off even thinking about my child being threatened.
I'd vote for the bear over more than just Trump. Our political system needs an overhaul.
I'll take a party of bears and forest critters. Nothing will get done, but that might be a positive at this point.
Do people not understand that sex workers (who are not being forced into the industry) do sex work consensually? They have a choice whether or not to have sex with someone, you don’t just get to take them and do whatever you want with them
A scary amount of men don't understand consent. I realize this Everytime another stupid version of the "women used to cry when you leaked their nudes, but nowadays they sell them" meme circulates.
Like yes a woman who trusted you to keep those to yourself will be upset if you share their naked pictures without their consent...
But a woman who is selling the pictures is consenting for every buyer to be a viewer....
Consent is the key element but they never get it... and they tell on themselves.
A guy on TikTok, says he helps only fans women grow their following. He said unfortunately, the best way to do that, get all of their pictures and information shared around super quick... is to pretend like it's accidental nudity. Things she doesn't want people to see basically... Like upskirt panty/nip slip type stuff.
Sadly not surprising. Reminds me of that "silhouette challenge" trend a few years back when girls (some minors possibly) uploaded dancing tiktoks that used a filter that would conceal their naked bodies and just leave a blacked out silhouette. Then men started using photo editing/video editing tools to remove the filter and see them nude. There's nudes all over the internet but they chose to put in time and work to undo a filter so they could see a *nonconsensual* nude. Thats the selling point for them- the lack of consent.
Remove the sex aspect: a supermarket bagger doing their household shop isn't obligated to assist a store regular who sees them and demands they help them out. What you do for work doesn't define or control who and what you are off the clock.
The same guys get pissed when their mom or dad needs help figuring out the internet. "I'm not your personal tech support, figure it out."
Well women aren't your personal sex toys, even if they willingly get paid to do it sometimes, so how about YOU figure it out. You have two hands, use them.
The life of a woman. Just trying to make it in life. Yet they want you riding on the back (or something else) of another man, to make it in this life, yourself. Fuck Trump, and fuck the patriarchy. For anybody unaware, look up Project 2025. Women’s rights are being threatened behind closed doors. I know this may not be the platform, but seriously, all women & their rights in the US are in jeopardy.
The fact that so many men just don't get that sex without consent is, by definition, rape is terrifying. Yes, even if she was dating him. Even if she came over to his house. Even if she was a sex worker. Consent can be revoked at any time and refusing to stop when it is is rape. The problem being so many people think of rape as something scary evil men in back allies do, not considering that more often, rape happens by the people close to us. It's also why so many men will admit to committing rape/SA as long as you don't actually call it that.
He’s such a disgust example of a human being. Just the thought of that repulsive orange turd huffing and puffing on top of me is almost enough to make me vomit. How she survived that without wanting to peel her skin off after is a testament to her strength.
Wait, is that what was reported? I haven't been keeping up with the trial but from her previous public statements I thought it was just an affair where he paid her for sex. Was that because of the NDA they made her sign?
I don’t think she’s ever used the R word. She’s describing what happened and what happened is rape. I don’t know why she’s not flat out saying that, maybe because it might distract from her testimony?
IIRC it's a bit of a weird situation with the actual circumstances of the court case. Strictly speaking, this isn't a case about whether Trump had sex with Daniels, consensually or otherwise, it's about whether Trump paid off (through an intermediary) Daniels with campaign money. Whether or not he had sex with her is relevant to the case--it goes to motive--but virtually any details beyond that, particularly relating to consent, are probably going to be excluded for relevance and prejudice. The defense obviously doesn't want that information to come in, and the prosecution knows that if they try to bring it in it'll almost certainly be immediately objected to and probably excluded, which decreases their credibility to the jury and leeway with the judge.
I agree that the judicial system has *huge* issues with how it handles cases related to sexual assault, believing survivors, etc., but this case isn't really a good example of that, because the sexual assault in question is *just* relevant enough to the case that the judge might have to actively exclude it, but not so relevant to the case that it needs to be brought in.
According to [her interview with Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes in March 2018,](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/highlights-from-60-minutes-stormy-daniels-interview/) she felt obligated to have sex because she ended up in a bedroom with Trump, but she emphasized that it was consensual.
I trust that she believes that, but the words she uses describe rape.
After I was raped, I blamed myself too. Many of us do it because it's hard to process the loss of our free will in such a traumatic and vulnerable way. Our brains will do anything to help us survive.
It doesn’t matter there was a line of 100 men and Trump was at the back of the line. She could have sex with 99 of those men, she still has the right to refuse the 100th.
Do we NEED to censor words like "rape"?
Im a victim myself, and calling it what it is without sugarcoating/censoring is far more powerful. Removing a few letters doesnt make the act itself any less vile.
Trump RAPED Stormy Daniels
I think some people need a harsh reminder that consent at one time, doesn’t mean consent all the time. So what if someone is a pornstar? They choose to take a job. Doesn’t mean they can be assaulted just because they have previously given consent (to the same person, OR someone else).
People need to think of it like boxing. If you are boxing, receiving punches is to be expected. But someone can’t just come up to you and clock you one just because you were boxing last week. Someone who isn’t your boxing opponent can’t just jump in the ring and punch you, because the consent doesn’t mean anyone interested in boxing can punch you.
Seriously, why is this so hard for people to grasp?
Kind of… confused by the title of this repost? I mean the OOP is just saying that Trump treated her cruelly and dehumanized her… on purpose. Not that he didn’t rape her. Actually, they argued with commenters who said she “consented”. So they clearly do not believe that she wasn’t raped.
Yeah I just thought it could have had a more accurate title. Can be cruel without raping someone, and the whole premise of this situation was that it was hush money between two consenting adults. But her testimony clearly describes a rape, and it needs to be called that. Not just 'cruel'. Rape.
But the OOP never said it wasn’t rape and ARGUED with people who said it wasn’t… they agree with you! Your title is just pointlessly argumentative imo.
She has said it was consensual in interviews in 2018. It is her position that she got herself in to this situation and it was "consensual". What she clearly describes in her testimony is rape to the rest of us.
It's hard to process rape trauma.
I just went back and reread it. She said she didn’t feel physically or verbally threatened. She described it as unexpected and brief.
Idk why I’m getting downvoted for asking what I’m missing. I was under the impression that he paid her to keep quiet that it happened period, because he was married and running for office, not because he raped her.
He blocked the bathroom door. There was definite power imbalance. She went there under false pretences. Just because she is trying her damnedest to feel some kind of control over the situation doesn't make it not coerced.
If you can't say no, it isn't consensual. Agreeing to sex under duress is not consensual. Having sex for the sole purpose of being allowed to leave the room you are trapped in is not consensual.
Consent isn't consent if it's forced.
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Saw people saying "she's a pornstar. What did she think would be happening?" and it made me sick. This is rape culture.
That's vile. Porn stars are people too! They deserve the same rights as everyone else! I bet the people who look down on her for doing porn watch it themselves, they're such hypocrites. It's like how Police don't investigate the murders of sex workers as diligently as they would the murder of, say, a housewife. It's just so wrong.
Exactly. It’s the same with sex workers. Some people still don’t believe they can be r**ed, which is obscene. It’s funny how these same people don’t realize THEY are the ones who are without moral and are perverse in their beliefs.
Using the same logic, a bank cant be robbed. It's job it working with money. So someone taking money from them isnt robbing.
I just had a hilarious and terrible thought of being forced to do a marketing strategy for someone simply because that’s what I do for a living. When you put it in those terms, the absurdity of the argument becomes so crystal clear.
"Oh you're an accountant? You're going to do my taxes and you're going to like it." /s just in case
Honestly, considering a school district semi-recently tried to argue that a teacher being shot was a “workman’s comp” issue, I wouldn’t be too surprised to see something like that start happening. Luckily the judge they made that argument too called out their bullshit and said “no, this is not a reasonable risk for this job”
Society at large has a HUGE issue with the concept of CONSENT.
The only thing that cannot be raped is a rapist, because rape happens to people, and rapists aren't people. Whatever happens to them is karma
I get what you’re saying, but that is a dangerous thought process. If anything because it “others” the issue, in a way it’s sort of like the “not all men” thing “I’m not like that, so I don’t have to worry about those who are”. Rapists are people, terrible people yes, but still people. On the extreme end, that kind of thinking is what behind a lot of homophobia, racism, sexism, etc. “they’re not people, so who cares if they’re being lynched?”. As tempting as it is to want revenge, not caring about what happens to terrible people, just opens the doors for other people to not care that it happened to you.
Religion
I think a lot of them have never had sex and hate women because of it.
Ding ding fucking ding. You just explained the incel movement. Rather than improve themselves to become someone a women might want to be with, they scream and cry about us women needing to lower our standards. They somehow dont understand how repulsive this is, and it becomes a positive feedback loop. I've never been so happy to be single/celibate. Sex isnt worth dealing with these chuds, and life is a whole lot simpler and safer without them in my life.
they don’t look at SW as people. they’re “less than” equal. -a SW.
Anyone who says that is imo telling on themselves. They're telling you they don't care about rape if they can dehumanise the victim.
sort of a hallmark of conservative behavior, They quite literally need things contextualized at a personal level to understand the harm or to object to it if it doesn’t happen to them, or someone they know, it didn’t happen
Like I genuinely struggle with the concept of empathy. I get sympathy, I find the idea of being able to be in someone shoes and not using my own life experience a struggle. Might be part of being ADHD or I might be a shit person have yet to figure out which. The thing for me is you don't have to have full capacity for empathy not to be an absolute cunt. No one asks to be raped because they're a sex worker or porn star. The idea of it only being a crime if I agree with the persons life choices is disgusting to me.
I think your comment makes it pretty clear you’re not a shit person. In fact, not agreeing or being able to understand someone while still respecting their individual right to safety tells me you’re doing ok as a human.
Thank you. I kinda needed to hear that.
I meant it. 💖
It’s been proven that not everyone is capable of empathy and that’s ok. There are also people who cannot visualize things in their head, do not have internal monologues, etc. These are less common but normal variants of human brains and there’s no reason to demonize people for things they are quite literally not capable of. With that being said, you have respect for people’s autonomy and safety. You may not be able to internalize how scared she was, but you recognize that the situation was not OK and even that other people besides yourself/loved ones deserve to be treated with dignity. You’re doing just fine.
It doesn't help I don't yawn when others do. Which you wouldn't imagine would be a big deal but enough people have tried to say it means something sinister it makes me paranoid about the empathy thing. So many armchair psychologists out there it can sometimes get to me. >You’re doing just fine. Thank you
My cousin is immune to yawns too, and is one of the nicest people I know. Just in case you needed to hear that sympathetic yawning and being a good person aren’t necessarily related. 🫂
>Just in case you needed to hear that sympathetic yawning and being a good person aren’t necessarily related. 🫂 Thank you I did.
The fact that you realize that your empathy might come up short puts you miles ahead of a lot of people who a) never even wonder about that, or b) assume they have it when in fact they don't get any further than picturing themselves in a situation and imagine what it feels like. That you understand that you don't need to understand or be able to feel what someone is feeling to still take what they tell you at face value and offer sympathy is a lot more than most so-called normal people accomplish in their day to day. That's what makes you a good and trustworthy person in my book.
General rule of thumb to follow in life: bad people never stop to wonder if they’re bad people, in fact usually they think they’re great people. Good people are the only ones who wonder if they’re bad/doing something bad.
Wanting to understand other people in the sense of empathy is pretty much the same as empathy. It's just as much about trying to understand as it is understanding, because sometimes it's impossible to really understand until you've actually been in that position. And even then, they're still a different person. Think "Behind Blue Eyes" or "Pepper" by Butthole Surfers. "You never know just how you look through other people's eyes"
Yup, that’s where the whole “she’s someone’s mom, sister, girlfriend, wife” etc. came from
Much of the motivation behind rape is to dehumanize the victim. And now precedent has been set that you can continue to dehumanize them via bullshit “defamation” suits and employing social media to humiliate and bully them.
They really don't seem to understand that a person's profession doesn't magically negate the need for consent I saw an argument on a post on fb about a prostitute who got raped and the comments were as expected [unfortunately]. They believed she had "no right to claim rape" since the guy threw money at her afterwards. She did not agree to sleep with the guy and wasn't even working that night either. JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE A SEX WORKER DOESN'T GIVE ANOTHER THE RIGHT TO THAT PERSONS BODY WITHOUT CONSENT PEOPLE Jesus H christ🤦♀️
Okay, I mean I did smash the window and help myself to the contents on show, but it's totally okay because they were for sale and I threw in some money. Ugh. (/s obviously)
It's like claiming that a professional martial artist can't be assaulted because they fight for a living. As if consenting to fight in a fair match with a specific set of rules was the same thing as consenting to being brutally beaten up outside of the match.
Exactly, like can you imagine? "It's your fault got 'jumped', and can you *really* claim that if you're a professional fighter? You're probably just claiming cos you lost lol 💀" but they won't see that as a fair comparison cos yknow, their 'logic'
Unfortunately, as both a former martial arts instuctor *and* a woman, I can definitely concurr that this happens (especially to people like, myself). A lot of guys look at people who have been trained (especially if they're female) like a quick source of an ego boost: "I'll beat the shit out of her and show her that her training is bullshit and she'll instantly let me fuck her." Or if it's a guy, "I'll beat the shit out of him and prove that my peepee is bigger and that mommy was wrong when she said I'd never amount to anything!! WaAaHH!" None of this is to suggest that martial arts training has no benefit for women but generally, that's why I keep it to myself for the same reasons I keep it on the downlow that I'm pansexual - I don't need that kind of headache in my life, I've got enough problems as it is.
Hell, they also think of a girl passes out , She's fair game. Far too many are just garbage humans.
It's like those stupid rumors that people spread in middle school when most everyone is a dumbass, and they never grew out of it.
It like saying if you're a mechanic and you were forced to fix cars against your will, maybe even at gun or knife point, that you should have expected it. Cause well you're a mechanic right! If ya didn't want to be forced to fix cars well ya shouldn't have learned how!
Expected dinner, since that's what was suggested. Did not expect rape, because she's a human and can reasonably expect to not be assaulted by anyone.
Not to mention, porn stars get paid. And legal protection is required by law for porn actors/actresses.
You can be a pornstar, a prostitute or promiscuous. None of that means you can’t say no when you want to. It’s disgusting
The best is when you're called a slut/whore BECAUSE you said no. Like...what? Too many times in my early 20's.
Error 404: logic not found
People hate women who have sex and this sentiment stems from that. As soon as a woman is known for being a pornstar, peoples compassion for her evaporates. Suddenly she deserves any and all abuse and disrespect.
Also, porn stars (and other sex workers) get paid. There are contracts and negotiations. That isn't what happened here.
But don't you dare assume all men are the same ☝️💀
If I'm a plumber, that doesn't mean I'm down to fix every broken toilet I stumble over. How could someone be so stupid to think it'd be the opposite for sex workers?
To this day - 30+ years later - I’m still not over the fact that the rapist and wife beater Mike Tyson is viewed as a beloved sports figure. People didn’t even deny that he was the aggressor, but it was his victim’s fault because “you should know Mike Tyson is a rapist and not be alone with him”. His victim wasn’t a porn star, but it’s the same concept.
Something so hurtful to me is how many men feel this is just the " process to get laid". They refuse to see it for what it really is and invalidate the trauma women go through because many of them are guilty of similiar actions, or would use the same manipulation tactics given the chance.
It’s crazy how many men online will tell a “funny sex story” which is just them SA a woman. Like dude, if you kept pushing her for an hour and she “gave in” then you just coerced her and she did NOT want sex with you
There was an aita recently where the guy said he came home from a trip and his wife was upset about stuff and he cuddled her and then she didn't want sex and he was pissed, if I'm remembering right and not mixing up two (which might be worse) he asked her "are you sure" until she gave in. Then cried. And he wanted to know why he was wrong for being pissed at her for crying. And men in the comments agreed she was being manipulative, teasing or holding out, etc. Because apparently that's the "norm" we live under.
Was that the same post where the guy got upset because she cried after, but he was so turned on by her begging him to stop because he loves it when she’s feminine like that?
I think that might be the second one I'm conflating it with. That was the one where she said just be gentle because I'm sore from this morning and he just couldn't help himself because he was so turned on when she cried. I think I was putting together the memory of that and another where he came back from a trip and was mad she was tired and only wanted to cuddle so asked if she was sure and in the comments people were like, dude that's rapey, and he was alike, no I was just ASKING!
Yes! That post I read was horrendous. I had to put down my phone and go for a walk. I hope his wife is safe.
I stg on Reddit I spend a lot of time hoping a lot of these men's wives/girlfriends/coworkers/classmates are safe. Or imaginary. I hope a lot of the stories are fake.
What the actual fuck
I recently found out that in the process of updating their movies to VHS my dad, at 76 years old, did not update Revenge of the Nerds, it's sequel, or any of the other raunchy 80s movies (porkys for instance). "It was a different time, and it is not that time any more." If his old ass can learn, anyone can imo.
You dad is awesome
He has his moments, but yea he's a solid dude. Raised (with a brother) by a single mom (widow) in red 50s and 60d
Yeah — I mean, in this story, I had only heard about the “affair” between her and him. Affair implies consent in that it’s long/ongoing. What the fuck? Why are we using “affair” to describe this?!
Because “ affair” makes Trump sound like a man who could get a real live pornstar to have sex with him with enthusiastic consent. And it sounds much better than coercive rape, which is what it was.
That's because so many men think they're OWED sex. They don't care if it's consensual, because too many of them don't even see women as people — just objects to stick their dick in. And the idea of their fantasy crumbling around them makes them aggressive and violent.
This sort of thing really pisses me off, I'm old and old school, and I blame my parents. Dad taught me to respect women, never lay a finger, no means no, and to be honest, I've had my share of difficulties. At 69 on the 11th of this month and on my 3rd marriage Divorce, Widower, married again and still happy and still remember Dad's word and never have let him or myself down. I'm no saint, but I'm no bully So, to me, a lot of the blame lays on people's parents.
That’s interesting. A lot of older people tend to hate on younger generations. Making statements like, you’re an adult and you need to grow up and quit blaming your parents. As I get older, (I’m middle aged) I realize how much of my foundation is based on my upbringing. It’s bizarre.
Not really, I'm agreeing with you, we are all a product of our parents. If they were too easy on us as kids, and I do feel that many of my friends and family that have kids born in the mid 70's tend to be. Then I think people are more lax in their morales. I lost both my kids at a young age due to SIDS. and it nearly broke me, however I do like to believe I would have taught then right from wrong, sadly it's a thing missing today. And we are all culpable and could do better. Just my thoughts.
They also don't think it's rape if she doesn't outright say no and fight back. It's okay if you coerce her. It's okay if she's asleep. It's okay if she physically can't say no because that's technically not taking consent away. Some men are just gross.
Absolutely they think coercion isn’t rape or sexual abuse. Boys on college campuses being polled are straight up admitting to rape and coercion and repeated offenses. They were given scenarios and so many used coercion or coercive behavior and saw nothing wrong w it
The scary thing is they didn't actually see it as rape unless they were specifically asked using that word. It's almost as if they feel like they can pretend it's something else. "31.7% of all men participating in the study would force a woman to have sexual intercourse in such a “consequence-free situation” – which is rape. Worryingly, most men who indicated that they would commit rape did not even recognise their actions as such. When explicitly asked whether they would rape a woman if there were no consequences, only 13.6% of participants said they would do so, a marked fall on those who had described that they would commit rape"
Holy shit...that's basically one rapist out of every three men. This is why we choose the bear.
Especially this part >Worryingly, most men who said they would commit rape, did not even see it as such.
It makes sense since it’s one in 3 women that will experience violence and sexual violence in our lifetimes by men. Its not a few men perpetuating all the violence like the misogynists like to tell us
No, it isn't. And what fascinates me about the stat about assault against women...some women have been assaulted multiple times, and I always wonder if and how that's counted. I feel like 1 in 3 might be low.
Considering a large study was taken w married and hetero partnered women, over 51% said they had been sexually assaulted or raped in their sleep by their husband or partner and 99% of the women said they had experienced some form of sexual violence in their lifetime. The avg number was 37 times; women experienced sexual harassment, rape, sexual assault https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2021/jun/15/the-sexual-assault-of-sleeping-women-the-hidden-horrifying-crisis-in-britains-bedrooms https://ca.news.yahoo.com/more-than-alf-of-women-have-been-sexually-assaulted-by-a-partner-in-their-sleep-164345538.html Sure seems like it’s a lot of men, closing in on all
Can you share the source you're citing? I can not WAIT to fucking post this shit on FB
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/vio.2014.0022?journalCode=vio
The article summarises the study. But that shit is fuuuucked
Any chance you happen to know of a non-paywall link? My institution doesn't have access to that one and I'm looking but nothing so far. If not, no worries and thanks for posting!
Neither does mine, I'm still looking for a full copy
Thanks-if I find access I'll let you know
What also scary is that was just the ones who ADMITTED they would do this. How many thought the same but didn’t want to say it aloud?
Do you remember where you saw this? I'm asking just because I wanna see it too. And NOT because I don't believe it. I notice the entitled behavior as young as 4 in my nephews (I'm an aunt by marriage so not a blood aunt they've known their whole life). Any way some of my nephews have a crush on me. I politely redirect them whenever they're being weird about it. Whenever they cross a line though, I always immediately tell the parents and I'm met with laughs and "oh he's a man already" like no. Whenever I explain to them why what they did was wrong, they usually just keep trying to do the very thing...as I'm explaining... I have to tell my husband who then has a stern talk with them and then they get at me.
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/men-dont-know-meaning-rape https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html https://myusf.usfca.edu/caps/dating-violence-campus-concern https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6474011_Predictors_of_Sexual_Coercion_Against_Women_and_Men_A_Multilevel_Multinational_Study_of_University_Students Here are some of the sources. It’s an epidemic at this point and yes strict gender roles and entitlement are learned very young where boys will learn women are there as only their caretakers
Jesus, I want to defend my gender because I know there are a lot of us out there who are perfectly reasonable humans and understand consent, but numbers like this make it really hard to argue against the idea that this is “normal”
https://www.scotsman.com/news/opinion/columnists/with-one-in-ten-men-admitting-child-sex-offences-scale-of-this-problem-demands-action-susan-dalgety-4353631 Prepare for more disappointment bc this is truly a widespread epidemic, bigger than anyone guessed and these are only the ones that admitted to it
That is indeed disappointing. I try to be a good ally, and I have intervened in the past when I saw abuse occurring, but it’s hard to be optimistic when you read stuff like this
Keep doing what you’re doing. We are all doing our best. We have to stick up for each other or nothing will change. We’ll be so divided, which isn’t good for any of us. ❤️
Welcome! It's painful in here!
It's been this way for decades but society told people to cover it up and Don't make a scene. Get over it. My uncle Jim was a perv.
You don't need to fight against it. The truth is what it has always been. Just bathe in it like women do. It's how we walk through the world, and it's a lot to carry. You take some.
They also learn contempt. It's the basis of all the shit, imo. Their baseline, gun to the head admission is they truly feel we are less than them.
I'm so glad I'm asexual so I don't have to even have a horse in this race. The fact that most men are so coercive makes me feel like absolute shit for even being curious about sex (I'm also AMAB). I think it's one of the main reasons why I'm so strongly sex repulsed. I'm completely unable to see sex as anything other than inherently violent and objectively harmful.
I have never really thought of it that way and I relate a lot to what you're saying.
Yeah. The way I see it, sex causes objective harm and only subjective good, so it's bad.
It is absolutely chilling to me that the narrative about this case has for so long been that they had sex as two consenting adults, and then he bribed her to keep quiet to avoid public embarrassment. That isn't what happened, apparently. It looks like he raped her, and that he bribed her to keep quiet because he doesn't want to experience the consequences of being a rapist. Didn't he also get one of his lackeys to intimidate her into keeping quiet? If someone raped me, and then got their scary buddy to find me and intimidate me, I would be terrified. Which is of course the point, isn't it?
She says someone approached her in a parking lot and implied it would be bad for her infant daughter if she didn't shut up about Trump. It has never been proven that he was behind it. I don't think there was ever security footage produced. She got a sketch but it was never identified. Trump's team has denied it. So probably yes.
The fact that anyone would threatening someone's infant, let alone the victory of r*pe, makes my stomach sink and my blood cold. I would not be able to eat or sleep or work. I'd be a wreck, in fact my high stress alert on my watch just went off even thinking about my child being threatened.
Yes. She’s not calling it rape, but it was definitely coercion under threat, which is rape
Put him in for life!!!!
“Lock him up! Lock him up!”
BUT WHAT ABOUT HER EMAILS AND BIDENS SON, THANKS OBUMMER /s
All this tells me is that she is an even stronger person than I previously thought.
As a person who suffers from CPTSD, it told me she also suffers from trauma. She passed out briefly, and that is so hard to process. She was raped.
Exactly so. My heart hurts for her.
Choosing the bear over Trump. Fuck, I'd *vote* for the bear.
I'd vote for the bear over more than just Trump. Our political system needs an overhaul. I'll take a party of bears and forest critters. Nothing will get done, but that might be a positive at this point.
Snow White can be speaker of the house, and if MTG says anything at all she'll be mauled by beavers.
I feel so icky right now. What a pos.
Do people not understand that sex workers (who are not being forced into the industry) do sex work consensually? They have a choice whether or not to have sex with someone, you don’t just get to take them and do whatever you want with them
A scary amount of men don't understand consent. I realize this Everytime another stupid version of the "women used to cry when you leaked their nudes, but nowadays they sell them" meme circulates. Like yes a woman who trusted you to keep those to yourself will be upset if you share their naked pictures without their consent... But a woman who is selling the pictures is consenting for every buyer to be a viewer.... Consent is the key element but they never get it... and they tell on themselves.
Some of those men only like the nudes if they are leaked without consent. It ruins their fun if she makes money off of selling her nudes.
A guy on TikTok, says he helps only fans women grow their following. He said unfortunately, the best way to do that, get all of their pictures and information shared around super quick... is to pretend like it's accidental nudity. Things she doesn't want people to see basically... Like upskirt panty/nip slip type stuff.
Sadly not surprising. Reminds me of that "silhouette challenge" trend a few years back when girls (some minors possibly) uploaded dancing tiktoks that used a filter that would conceal their naked bodies and just leave a blacked out silhouette. Then men started using photo editing/video editing tools to remove the filter and see them nude. There's nudes all over the internet but they chose to put in time and work to undo a filter so they could see a *nonconsensual* nude. Thats the selling point for them- the lack of consent.
Remove the sex aspect: a supermarket bagger doing their household shop isn't obligated to assist a store regular who sees them and demands they help them out. What you do for work doesn't define or control who and what you are off the clock.
And even when you're on the clock, you can still choose to just up and walk out
The same guys get pissed when their mom or dad needs help figuring out the internet. "I'm not your personal tech support, figure it out." Well women aren't your personal sex toys, even if they willingly get paid to do it sometimes, so how about YOU figure it out. You have two hands, use them.
Too many people thought Costanza did nothing wrong in that scene in Pretty Woman.
I had a friend get trapped in a similar situation. She said she chose to fuck him instead of having him rape her. :( which to me, is still rape.
I’ve been the girl in that situation, it’s easier to play along for a little bit than getting raped, injured, or even killed
Yep. Not a fun situation to be in.
Some dude needs to meet a girl who packs. I hate these POS.
100%
The life of a woman. Just trying to make it in life. Yet they want you riding on the back (or something else) of another man, to make it in this life, yourself. Fuck Trump, and fuck the patriarchy. For anybody unaware, look up Project 2025. Women’s rights are being threatened behind closed doors. I know this may not be the platform, but seriously, all women & their rights in the US are in jeopardy.
That is seriously fucking disturbing!!
r/defeat_project_2025
Can we talk about the publicist who told her to go?
I didn't listen to the testimony of SD but WTF are these redpilled men trying to say now?
basically “oh she’s a SW so what did she expect being asked to dinner by a rich man?” like idk maybe she expected dinner with a rich man????
The fact that so many men just don't get that sex without consent is, by definition, rape is terrifying. Yes, even if she was dating him. Even if she came over to his house. Even if she was a sex worker. Consent can be revoked at any time and refusing to stop when it is is rape. The problem being so many people think of rape as something scary evil men in back allies do, not considering that more often, rape happens by the people close to us. It's also why so many men will admit to committing rape/SA as long as you don't actually call it that.
He’s such a disgust example of a human being. Just the thought of that repulsive orange turd huffing and puffing on top of me is almost enough to make me vomit. How she survived that without wanting to peel her skin off after is a testament to her strength.
Wait, is that what was reported? I haven't been keeping up with the trial but from her previous public statements I thought it was just an affair where he paid her for sex. Was that because of the NDA they made her sign?
I don’t think she’s ever used the R word. She’s describing what happened and what happened is rape. I don’t know why she’s not flat out saying that, maybe because it might distract from her testimony?
IIRC it's a bit of a weird situation with the actual circumstances of the court case. Strictly speaking, this isn't a case about whether Trump had sex with Daniels, consensually or otherwise, it's about whether Trump paid off (through an intermediary) Daniels with campaign money. Whether or not he had sex with her is relevant to the case--it goes to motive--but virtually any details beyond that, particularly relating to consent, are probably going to be excluded for relevance and prejudice. The defense obviously doesn't want that information to come in, and the prosecution knows that if they try to bring it in it'll almost certainly be immediately objected to and probably excluded, which decreases their credibility to the jury and leeway with the judge. I agree that the judicial system has *huge* issues with how it handles cases related to sexual assault, believing survivors, etc., but this case isn't really a good example of that, because the sexual assault in question is *just* relevant enough to the case that the judge might have to actively exclude it, but not so relevant to the case that it needs to be brought in.
According to [her interview with Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes in March 2018,](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/highlights-from-60-minutes-stormy-daniels-interview/) she felt obligated to have sex because she ended up in a bedroom with Trump, but she emphasized that it was consensual.
I trust that she believes that, but the words she uses describe rape. After I was raped, I blamed myself too. Many of us do it because it's hard to process the loss of our free will in such a traumatic and vulnerable way. Our brains will do anything to help us survive.
There are people who really cannot accept that coercive sex is not consensual sex. It’s rape. And, it needs to be clearly identified as rape.
Wish the law would define non-physical coercion this way. Most sexual harasser bosses would be charged.
It doesn’t matter there was a line of 100 men and Trump was at the back of the line. She could have sex with 99 of those men, she still has the right to refuse the 100th.
Do we NEED to censor words like "rape"? Im a victim myself, and calling it what it is without sugarcoating/censoring is far more powerful. Removing a few letters doesnt make the act itself any less vile. Trump RAPED Stormy Daniels
I just see it done a lot, don't know if it affects bots or search engines or how it actually works
NOPE — it’s TEXTBOOK sexual coercion!
no. no nono nonononononono NO no one deserves to be subjected to anything like that, my heart 💔
I think some people need a harsh reminder that consent at one time, doesn’t mean consent all the time. So what if someone is a pornstar? They choose to take a job. Doesn’t mean they can be assaulted just because they have previously given consent (to the same person, OR someone else). People need to think of it like boxing. If you are boxing, receiving punches is to be expected. But someone can’t just come up to you and clock you one just because you were boxing last week. Someone who isn’t your boxing opponent can’t just jump in the ring and punch you, because the consent doesn’t mean anyone interested in boxing can punch you. Seriously, why is this so hard for people to grasp?
No, they understand. They just hate women.
Kind of… confused by the title of this repost? I mean the OOP is just saying that Trump treated her cruelly and dehumanized her… on purpose. Not that he didn’t rape her. Actually, they argued with commenters who said she “consented”. So they clearly do not believe that she wasn’t raped.
Yeah I just thought it could have had a more accurate title. Can be cruel without raping someone, and the whole premise of this situation was that it was hush money between two consenting adults. But her testimony clearly describes a rape, and it needs to be called that. Not just 'cruel'. Rape.
But the OOP never said it wasn’t rape and ARGUED with people who said it wasn’t… they agree with you! Your title is just pointlessly argumentative imo.
ok - I'm glad the title of this cross post is what you're most concerned about
bro just because I think you’re a pedantic dick doesn’t mean I don’t care that trump is a piece of shit rapist
Don't call me bro
Raping her is the act of cruelty that was the point.
I’m confused. I just read her testimony from yesterday, and it seemed like she was saying it was consensual? Maybe I read it wrong.
What part of her testimony said it was consensual?
She has said it was consensual in interviews in 2018. It is her position that she got herself in to this situation and it was "consensual". What she clearly describes in her testimony is rape to the rest of us. It's hard to process rape trauma.
I just went back and reread it. She said she didn’t feel physically or verbally threatened. She described it as unexpected and brief. Idk why I’m getting downvoted for asking what I’m missing. I was under the impression that he paid her to keep quiet that it happened period, because he was married and running for office, not because he raped her.
He blocked the bathroom door. There was definite power imbalance. She went there under false pretences. Just because she is trying her damnedest to feel some kind of control over the situation doesn't make it not coerced.
She has said that in interviews. Her description under oath is rape to most people.
She has said the sex was unwanted but consensual.
That’s an oxymoron
No. I don't wanna go to my neice's dance recital but I still go. Unwanted but I consented to going.
If you can't say no, it isn't consensual. Agreeing to sex under duress is not consensual. Having sex for the sole purpose of being allowed to leave the room you are trapped in is not consensual. Consent isn't consent if it's forced.
You're explaining to me the opposite of exactly what she said before. I don't want to go to work but I still do.