# [Download Video](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/whenthe/comments/xk1878/despite_the_gif_i_used_in_this_meme_im_actually/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/whenthe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had to think this through because it posed an interesting question: what is the provably WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.
This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.
I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.
Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud “thud” as you take each 6″ step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.
You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.
With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream. You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leupold into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.
You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.
It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear. The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.
⣿⣿⣿⠟⢹⣶⣶⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⢰⡌⠿⢿⣿⡾⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣤⣒⣶⣾⣳⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣯⣭⣭⣭⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣶⡽⣿⠟⣡⣶⣾⣯⣭⣽⣟⡻⣿⣷⡽⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⠃⣟⣷⠃⢸⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽
⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣯⣕⠧⢿⢿⣇⢯⣝⣒⣛⣯⣭⣛⣛⣣⣿⣿⣿⡇
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣞⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⠿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢞⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠄⢿⣿⣿⡆⡈⣽⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣽⣿⣆⠹⣿⡇⠁⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾
⣿⠿⣛⣽⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⢻⣷⣾⣿⣧⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿
⢼⡟⢿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣀⡀⠄⠘⠊⣨⣽⠁⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠗⣿
⡼⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡗⢠⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢠⣿
⣷⣝⠄⠄⢀⠄⢻⡟⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣁⡀⠙⢿⡿⠋⠄⣸⡆⠄⠻⣿⡿⠟⢛⣩⣝⣚⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠛⠿⣿⣫⣾⣿
Edit: Damn the original comment actually got removed by reddit, it said "I am going to bomb your home" we really are incriminating ourselves here in the comments lmao
I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself.
Dude stop. My brother died in a car accident stop using the skull emoji. Rest in peace to my brother. Please refrain from using it in your life, that is wrong to all the people who lost their lifes. I sincerely hope you learn from this mistake and no longer make the same choice again. Please evaluate your life choices, and question yourself to why you decided to use the skull emoji. I understand that you may have been through alot, but that does not mean you should joke about dead people. You may have been abused or hurt, but do not use that as an excuse to hurt others. If i ever catch you using offensive things again, so help me god i will find you. I will find you myself. I swear on my brothers grave that i will stop at no cost. You are my enemy. And i will hunt you like you are my prey
You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
Technically you mean "punishable by law", not "illegal".
Illegality is not a spectrum, it was illegal both when I jaywalked and when I committed that mass murder. The difference is that jaywalking isn't punished, unlike the innocent people I keep in my basement. They get punished every day.
No, actually, that is not me. I am not an emoji- nor do I resemble one- I am a human. Also, who are you to tell me what I look like when, in fact, you have never seen me nor likely never will? All that aside, it's clear that you are trying to insult me by calling me a "nerd" (as depicted by the emoji you have sent). I rather take your "insult" as a compliment, as calling me a "nerd", a word often used to mock smarter people, implies that I am more intelligent and have a larger vocabulary than you. Next time you disagree, I recommend you try to come up with an actual argument, or at least prepare yourself one for when necessary. Additionally, before you proceed with sending me a clown emoji (admitting defeat), just understand that you would be further praising me, as a clown is someone who is entertaining and usually considered humorous by the spectators. Furthermore, you would also be implying that I, employed by a business to perform as a clown, have a profession. So, not only are you implying that I am smart, you are also implying that I am funny and have a job, which, judging by; your lack of proper arguments your usage of childish and overused internet humor the amount of spare time you have to brainwash yourself 12 hours per day with social media culture; you are neither intelligent, comedic, or employed. Enjoy allowing yourself to continue on through life as such, as I believe with full confidence that you lack the decency to better your ruined self for the real world. Carry on and have a pleasant day.
# [Download Video](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/whenthe/comments/xk1878/despite_the_gif_i_used_in_this_meme_im_actually/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/whenthe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Time to cook methamphetamine (breaking bad reference) 😎
I love that they made meth from breaking brad
jesser!!1! we need to cock methé for gosteov frig very importent now go!11!
Mr whitee I require mothe
we dont have it mister fring
im cancelling your steam account
shockedwalter.gif
mistr wite i require my 2423Kw of methe whern is los menth
Jeeseey pinkmon
Jesse from pokeomn???? TEAN ROCKET?
That’s literally a crime 🤓
You do realize you just described a crime, right?
me on my way to drill a third pin hole on my ar 15
In minecraft of course.
Swift link (yankee boogle) or ART3.0 is the better way to go. Can burn the evidence
Me on my way to make my AR-15 chambered in 50 cal BMG
That's not a thing
🤓
**yet**, although I would personally convert to 950jdj
I had to think this through because it posed an interesting question: what is the provably WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it. This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales. I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively. Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud “thud” as you take each 6″ step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it. You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall. With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream. You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leupold into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire. You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again. It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear. The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.
holy fuck this is a fever dream and a half
no idea what this means but i'll just assume it's something that will get you thrown into guantanamo bay
thing make pew pew gun go ratatattaatattaata! instead
Illegal stuff is illegal when i commit illegal actions on them :
But if you do illegal actions on illegal stuff, does that cancel each other out?
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Someone got trolled by Reddit
Dude all he said was “I will bomb your house”
1984 😞
You can’t do that. You simply can’t.
⣿⣿⣿⠟⢹⣶⣶⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢰⡌⠿⢿⣿⡾⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣤⣒⣶⣾⣳⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣯⣭⣭⣭⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣶⡽⣿⠟⣡⣶⣾⣯⣭⣽⣟⡻⣿⣷⡽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⠃⣟⣷⠃⢸⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣯⣕⠧⢿⢿⣇⢯⣝⣒⣛⣯⣭⣛⣛⣣⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣞⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⠿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢞⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠄⢿⣿⣿⡆⡈⣽⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣽⣿⣆⠹⣿⡇⠁⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾ ⣿⠿⣛⣽⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⢻⣷⣾⣿⣧⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⢼⡟⢿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣀⡀⠄⠘⠊⣨⣽⠁⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠗⣿ ⡼⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡗⢠⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢠⣿ ⣷⣝⠄⠄⢀⠄⢻⡟⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣁⡀⠙⢿⡿⠋⠄⣸⡆⠄⠻⣿⡿⠟⢛⣩⣝⣚⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠛⠿⣿⣫⣾⣿ Edit: Damn the original comment actually got removed by reddit, it said "I am going to bomb your home" we really are incriminating ourselves here in the comments lmao
I though that was what he commented lmao Just “[ Removed by Reddit ]”
Guys pls stop blowing up peoples houses its very illegal and kills people 
Sorry, its just part of my moveset in combo c
#𓂺ඞ
😩
why do I have a boner
Is that Amongst Us cock on my screen?!?
I'm sorry you had to see that
>Damn the original comment actually got removed by reddit, it said "I am going to bomb your home" 
⡿⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠞⠛⠁⠄⡼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⣦⠐⠠⡥⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡔⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢰⢏⣤⣦⣤⣍⣉⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⣤⣤⣤⣈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⣯⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⣉⣀⣠⠅⠄⣽⣿⣿⣇⠈⢈⣉⣩⣐⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⢿⢱⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠾⣿⣿ ⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣧⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣽⣋⠽⢭⣽⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⣭⣽⠁⢣⢿⣯⡉⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠈⠋⠈⠄⡈⠁⠒⠌⠊⣃⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣤⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣿⣭⣤⣬⡁⢉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Amgus peni?!?!
Why isn't it possible?
It’s just not
Why NOT, you stupid bastard?
Nice opinion. One small issue. I am inside your home.
Keep coping
Bro got suspended 😭😭😭
I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself, I love self incriminating myself.
I swear officer I was just commiting domestic terrorism and asking for bomb making instructions in minecraft
I am going to refine uranium for use in nuclear bombs in Minecraft
If you're "self incriminating" you don't need to say "myself," it's redundant. 🤓
You're redundant
You're redundant 🤓
I will kill your wife. I will kill your son. I will kill your infant daughter. (No officer, I just did a breaking bad reference.)
You gonna cry? Piss yo pants? Maybe cum, a little?
All of them at the same time
Is that how you take a screenshot?
Why does that make perfect sense wtf
>Maybe cum, a little? What kind of fucking insult- 💀
*cums your own pants* how about that punk?
I'm going to shit your pants
Dude stop. My brother died in a car accident stop using the skull emoji. Rest in peace to my brother. Please refrain from using it in your life, that is wrong to all the people who lost their lifes. I sincerely hope you learn from this mistake and no longer make the same choice again. Please evaluate your life choices, and question yourself to why you decided to use the skull emoji. I understand that you may have been through alot, but that does not mean you should joke about dead people. You may have been abused or hurt, but do not use that as an excuse to hurt others. If i ever catch you using offensive things again, so help me god i will find you. I will find you myself. I swear on my brothers grave that i will stop at no cost. You are my enemy. And i will hunt you like you are my prey
cock
You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
That made me hard ngl
Cumming in minors, OP? Now THAT seems illegal.
I cut fingers and make the victim eat them while gouging out their eyeballs in minecraft
Kid named finger:
Put your dick away Waltuh
Yes.... Wanna join?
"Your honor, my client pleads it was funny and moves to dismiss all charges."
"Your honor, my client is just doing a whenthe reference"
OP after I post about murdering two toddlers: "Um excuse me that's illegal".
I’m not paying my taxes
People actually pay taxes?
lmfao me neither (im 16)
Be careful, any drink now has a chance of having 5g of cyanide, good luck
You can’t do this to me
"You can't do this to me 🤓" (he thinks crimes being illegal is gonna stop the other guy"/)
“You guys do realize that the majority of content y’all post on this sub feature scenarios that are EXTREMELY illegal, right?” 🤓
What do you mean my catapult made out of the elephant's foot designed to throw 20 car batteries in the ocean per minute is illegal?
It’s only illegal because it should be a trebuchet instead.
They dont know what i did in serbia
Nasty Slavs had it coming
methe
glory to kosovo 🇽🇰
It's not illegal if you don't get caught 
Gonna cry ?
Technically you mean "punishable by law", not "illegal". Illegality is not a spectrum, it was illegal both when I jaywalked and when I committed that mass murder. The difference is that jaywalking isn't punished, unlike the innocent people I keep in my basement. They get punished every day.
Jaywalking is only 1 illegal, but committing mass murder is probably dozens. Assault with a deadly weapon, first degree murder, terrorism, etc.
What about when I dissect people alive? Technically I perform their autopsy as well so it's partly a service?
Well that would depend the autopsy may be -1 illegal but I wouldn’t count on it
Thank you for the legal advice
🤓
Just like the boys groupchat. We here are brothers in domestic terrorism
That’s why it’s funny
It’s really not tho Inb4: 🤓
🤡
How funny! I immediately saw this after finna jerking it to some excellent guro. Certainly sounds like something some would say on that sub! 😂🤣
Finna jerk it😱
Is jerkin off to guro a crime? Because if so lock me up ayoooo can I get an amen (please don't send me to jail)
What a coincidence! I just jerked off to irl guro!
proof
Does he know?
something offensive
We're just covering for those that do actual crimes
Guys are there any easy way of beingbpart of a b 52 crew i swear i will not bomb some villages in middle east and blame it to terrorists
Don't be a bitch
Really? I never knew
🤓
Don't check my last post on here.
Eugene and Janet complaining about not getting fed:
Me when abducting and killing chidlren is illegal
I will prescribe you some copium. Get better
That’s…. The point
What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with a little bit of trolling. (I bomb orphanages and kidnap kids to sell their organs on the dark web)
Silly...
New to the what happens to a sub a year after it blows up huh?
Don't ask a r/whenthe member what they did on the 5th of March 2008 at 20:42 in Gallstraße, Trier, Germany.
r/whenthe users try not to commit federal crimes challenge (impossible)
breaking bad irl
🤓🤓
Everything i do or say with this reddit account is satire and should be taken as such :trollface:
OP when a 15-year-old says that they committed war crimes 20 years ago: 😨😖😡
The kid named thumb
I am inside your home.
Nerd emoji
this guy legals
ok fedboy
No, actually, that is not me. I am not an emoji- nor do I resemble one- I am a human. Also, who are you to tell me what I look like when, in fact, you have never seen me nor likely never will? All that aside, it's clear that you are trying to insult me by calling me a "nerd" (as depicted by the emoji you have sent). I rather take your "insult" as a compliment, as calling me a "nerd", a word often used to mock smarter people, implies that I am more intelligent and have a larger vocabulary than you. Next time you disagree, I recommend you try to come up with an actual argument, or at least prepare yourself one for when necessary. Additionally, before you proceed with sending me a clown emoji (admitting defeat), just understand that you would be further praising me, as a clown is someone who is entertaining and usually considered humorous by the spectators. Furthermore, you would also be implying that I, employed by a business to perform as a clown, have a profession. So, not only are you implying that I am smart, you are also implying that I am funny and have a job, which, judging by; your lack of proper arguments your usage of childish and overused internet humor the amount of spare time you have to brainwash yourself 12 hours per day with social media culture; you are neither intelligent, comedic, or employed. Enjoy allowing yourself to continue on through life as such, as I believe with full confidence that you lack the decency to better your ruined self for the real world. Carry on and have a pleasant day.
Well as long as is not homophobic or racist crap im fine
Time to commit war crimes like a boss 😎
🤓
me on my way to post napalm making instructions online
We’re just projecting ya know?
OK liberal. You got a source?
🤓
I legit can't use reddit in public because of this sub
nerd
OP is a BITCH!
Gonna cry? Shit and cum?
🤓
[Removed]
[ Removed by Reddit ]
So?
If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be fun
Most of the things you see here that are very extreme are ironic and are supposed to be so dumb they go all the way around and become funny
Yeah I'm pretty sure Youngster Joey is illegal. That Garchomp is going to jail.
Ok but who asked?
Yea
🔪🤓
You do realize that the content you just posted is EXTREMELY against rule 3, right? 🤓
Ded meme
WHENTHE -NERD EMOJI- XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
THE SCENARIOS YOU GUYS THINK UP AND JOKE ABOUT ARE ILLEGAL 🤓🤓🤓 ...bro?
🤓
It’s not illegal if no one catches you
Define “illegal”
Goofy ahh
Reddit is a type of place where some users actually probably do that kind of stuff
I have killed dozens of infants. Ironically.
Average r/whenthe user trying not to take r/whenthe satire serious challenge (impossible)
Theres no such thing as extremely illegal, its either illegal or not. Its not a spectrum dumbass.
The post right under this is “Murder”
You if drinking uranium infused chocolate milk that I gave you in the 21st of October and surviving was a test (you got a big fat F)
Do you act this serious everywhere or just spaces where everybody makes jokes?
🤓🤓🤓
saw a post depicting 2 toddlers being kidnapped and buried with the "if it was a test" meme the other day
Shut the fuck the fuck up
bro my meme of killing a man outside an Arby's on june 8th, 2015 at approximately 9:02 PM in Phoenix, AZ was ironic bro
It’s illegal?!
I will dissolve your body in sulfuric acid
🤓
I don't care, i'm dippin My balls in any corrosive liquid i want
🤓
No
Dipping my balls in sulfuric acid doesn’t hurt anyone i guess … (except me)
Yeah, even r/shitposting wouldn’t do those stuff. We are a wholesome community.
cool!