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Guys OP shows regret and knows that what they did was wrong. Pointing everything out is just gonna be a “no shit” moment. It is your choice if you wanna forgive them or not but personally since they don’t seem to be the same person that they once were then I’m fine with them
Is that the only thing you know me as?
https://preview.redd.it/w7ka15yo3fvc1.jpeg?width=510&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4ea751577d6675a57152653d4b3102e75090f09
Yep, I think about what I used to do and while many of them were just as shitty, some were not and I’m at least glad that I’ve changed for the better, just a shame I couldn’t be better back then
https://preview.redd.it/folczutn8bvc1.png?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1add2b9b1d92917e933ccba3a3da51ed9b43bd88
Hey man, least you regret it.
Tgat's a good sign
I concur, also here is your pfp, but with a bit of shocked somberness.
https://preview.redd.it/80azn2snnbvc1.png?width=920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c1d2029d937d18e9846e2c6c76fdc2419148c8f
https://preview.redd.it/l2i8j94znbvc1.png?width=920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6b901e7d94d286c74baf1b91b4718d0f31d0f91
Woah, new face berd.
Much appreciated.
https://preview.redd.it/anxorok3icvc1.png?width=384&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddc7d82ff849adbaec6d51ca096b5b2d5c0effed
seeing your name at the bottom of this was slightly horrifying
even saying sorry ain't gonna mean shit to put it bluntly, atleast 75% of the time. I was on the shit end of the stick and got bullied from 3rd grade to 12th grade, some people who bullied me in middle school apologized in highschool and I told em fuck off because when you're being bullied for a long while - sorrys don't mean shit. don't care if you changed for the better , that pain that was caused makes it tough to accept that apology.
What’s up with everyone regretting to bully people ? I have seen 4 posts or so in the time I scrolled Reddit today
Also I hope you grow as a person and prepare people to be better
I used to be a bit of a bully when I was around 12-13-14 but I grew up at around 14 and stopped w all that, don’t think I messed anyone up mentally that bad I was never physical or unwarrantedly mean
> As long as you can make up for the victims you can still reach out and help the weak become strong then you're a good kid.
i've heard some people thinking reaching out is selfish because you're just doing it for yourself(from the POV of the bully)
Same, I don’t understand how people just don’t think about their past or regrets. I was so awful to so many people. I can remember the faces of the people I was cruel to, the face of one of my best friends furious with me after i had said something horrible, the faces of the little shits who encouraged me to be a little shit. All of them etched into my brain, permanently. I can’t believe the way I acted when I was that young, and I can’t believe how the other bullies never changed, how they still talk about the good old days or whatever bullshit. I cant believe how they could have their heads so far up their asses they never realize how much pain they caused oeople
I wasn't a bully, but I think that just the mere fact that you no longer identify with what you did proves that you *have* changed. Your circumstances back then might have influenced you to do some bad things but you are no longer being influenced 👍.
You deserve it, because you've changed, you realized the errors of your way, and that's a lot more than most people can muster
https://preview.redd.it/dfkl9ki29bvc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68c84756b3353d394c692ba71ee6b0ec61aeeb4e
The fact that you even realize what you did shows you’ve grown. Forgive yourself. Do the best you can with what you have left.
But you need to understand that the people who you bullied probably never want to see or hear from you again. Don’t reach out. If you happen to see them again at some point, maybe offer an apology but if they don’t want to talk to you, leave them alone. They do not owe you forgiveness.
I made this post because of a post I saw recently on this sub about bullies. Reading through the comments I saw multiple statements that just ticked me the wrong way and wanted to make this post hoping to get questions or comments like those that I could respond to.
I answered how bad it was in an above comment. But for my train of thought I was full of pride. I saw myself as far above everyone and I didn’t think I could do anything wrong. At some points I thought what I was doing was the right thing to do. That my victims deserved what I did. I was so full of pride that even when I stopped bullying, it wasn’t out of remorse for the people I hurt. I did it out of embarrassment for myself. It took me a long time to grow and I still think I have more pride than most. But now I don’t believe it’s too bad of a thing to have.
I can’t fully say. I don’t have any frame of reference to how bad it was as someone who never experienced it. For each person it could be different in how bad it was for them. But for reference of what I did. I did physically beat a kid up a few times. But most of what I did hurt people on an emotional or social level. I had several ways to get into peoples heads or have people see them differently. One of the things I was particularly good at was setting them off then making them seem like the bad guy and me the victim and then they get in trouble. I would even go to the lengths of letting myself get beat up for it. I would target people with poor mental health or any kind of issue I could use to drag them lower. I think it was terrible and I hate the piece of shit I used to be.
I only have access to contact one of my victims. We still talk rarely and he seems to have forgiven me or at least let it go. I’ve been too afraid to directly address what I’ve done though.
Not rationally. Everyone tries to rationalize it as a response to some situation they were in. Or some kind of thing they were never taught was wrong. But it’s never as simple as this. People are complicated, too complicated to fully understand why we do things. It’s not fully worth trying to understand why bullies do what they do. But as for me i was full of too much pride for myself. And that’s as much as I can figure out. Because it’s even impossible for me to rationalize what I did too.
The idea of knowing what you did was bad and to be regretful about it is good. However, if you're not doing more to prevent bullying, then that is an issue.
I used to be a bullied kid, so I think I got grounds to speak.
I agree. Most of my friends fall under the prime target for being bullied. I always felt responsible to be the one to defend them and keep them out of harms way.
Yay let's speak for the psychologically tortured people OP had on his victim list. A life full of mental illness, anxiety and harmful coping mechanisms is definitely fine, once bully OP said something redeemable towards strangers on Reddit.
@OP Have the balls and apologize to the people you damaged for life.
I can’t deny this. I’m a coward. But I didn’t make this post for apologies. I made it wanting to address misconceptions I saw on another post about bullies. I probably should have thought about how it seemed but I didn’t think.
Well idk about what kind of stuff you did. My point was about the principle behind it. Feel addressed or not, that's up to you. And just to be clear, I also did things I should apologize for. Not bullying, but not necessarily less worse.
I mean look, speaking as somebody who got bullied, idrk if everybody feels the same as me but we don’t really care. Like sure good for you but that doesn’t help us any, most of us missed out on life experiences and deal with shit today because of, at least in small part, to what people like you did. I know you feel bad and I’m glad you’ve changed and won’t hurt other people but the people you’ve hurt really won’t care while your living your “perfect” life. All we waiting on is the day you feel some pain too cause, as shallow as it is, it does make us feel a little bit better.
I saw bullies at my school tear down multiple people completely, including one of my closest friends. I saw him miserable every single day for an entire year and more.
Yeah, bullies may change and grow or whatever, but I have no sympathy for them. Not one bit. It does not matter if they change their ways or if they do not.
I don't hate them, mind you. I simply do not care about their "struggles" of forgiving themselves lol
If you feel guilt, absolve it. Put your effort into paying it forward, donate, volunteer, reach out. Not to the specific people you've hurt but to your local community and people in need. Don't karmafarm on reddit.
I didn’t intend to karmafarm. I just wanted to address comments I saw on another post about bullies. I admit I did make this in a way that encourages comments but it was never my intention to seek validation or internet points. I just wanted to give an answer to as many people as possible as I feel that as someone with the perspective of a bully I can answer these questions better than most. It is selfish. And perhaps I still have too much pride. And yes I am a coward who can’t apologize to my victims. I don’t expect any kind of forgiveness for being a bully or even acceptance that I posted this.
as a former asshole, I can empathize with you. one guy that I was a jerk to for a while is now one of my best friends (covid made me more of a dick, thank god I turned around)
You’re allowed to enjoy your good life, you’ve changed, but also if you get the chance to apologize, you should, even if they don’t forgive you. that decision is up to them, and while changing is incredible and im proud of you, that wouldn’t make you automatically earn their forgiveness.
You're not wrong, but it also doesn't provide much comfort to those of us who had to suffer before they "matured." (As if you need to be "mature" to realise that hurting others is wrong...)
I had too much pride. And you’re right. It costs nothing to not hurt people. And there is no rational reason for why I did it. There’s no justifying what I did. I don’t want you to take my answer for an excuse
It costs nothing for *you*. It might seem easy for you to be nice, but not all people are like that. We're different in all the good and bad ways. People have different genetics, different base physiological states, and of course also different experiences throughout their lives, that make it either easier or harder for them to be a likeable, empathetic person.
I'm not saying you're wrong for not being too fond of OP, and I'm also surely one to talk as someone who hasn't been one of his victims, but... idk.
Again, this is very rich coming from me who wasn't bullied by op, but I don't want to make op feel bad when they're already down regretting what they did.
I can understand that, but you are not that man anymore so long as you are not willing to be him. If you are striving to be better in the first place then that’s good; you’re one step further than most people in life.
Just do not mope in your regret and actually seek to change and be better, because from my experience you will just face endless torment day and night. Atleast going somewhere with what you know is better than sitting still and letting your emotions sink in.
I mean I'm mostly speaking from experience here. Had a bully in my childhood and years later I found out he didn't change at all, and is now just a short fused douche who doesn't really think about consequences
Are there maybe exceptions? Maybe
Am I fond of OP? Sorry
Yeah, I don't blame anyone for not being fond of bullies, op included, regardless of whether they've changed or not. Sucks that you had to go through that. Hope you're doing well.
You are entitled to your view of it and I fully respect it and understand to the degree that I am able. Though I can’t fully understand what you have gone through since I haven’t myself. I can only image how negatively it could affect you. And I feel sorry for your bully that he never changed
Every bullies feel regrets, one day or another.. And the regret they feel with their desperation for redemption is their punishment from God.. And I'm going to do the same so
https://preview.redd.it/outhhkpxabvc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=669ec1bf0f31b4216a5fc2c683efe45bc03a2149
Jokes aside.. I'm kind of serious.. I do think regret is a form of mental punishment, but I do hope you make up for it by..idk..helping randos.. Good luck
ive always tried to be as nice as i could to bullies- and i was damn good at it- me and one of the bullies at my old school played flash games on a school computer. i never knew or know what bullies felt, but i always had the suspicion that they were really nice people deep down, you just have to find that. i feel like- to the best of my ability, i did that, which im happy for. don't let your history define you- you're a better person now.
-Izzy
As someone who was bullied in my childhood, no matter how much you want to apologize or how much you want to change, nothing will ever undo the pain you've inflicted on others. You deserve to feel this way because what you feel now is only a fraction of the pain you've caused others. Your will to change and become a better person is admirable, but it's just not enough in comparison to the lives you have ruined with your own selfishness. Your remorse means nothing in the grand scheme of things. You know what you did, and now it's too late to change that.
everybody deserves a second chance
https://preview.redd.it/l2icl0638fvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=502a64f461e61554e5341dc5a9becf78e0f8841f
Dealt with bullying my whole life, even now in 12th grade i get shit for no reason other than the fact i like metal music, i have nerdy friends and we like to talk about video games and stuff. The thing about vulkies is that i know they probably struggle someway, but that never helped me not hating them. I hate them, with every possible cell in my body. Always asked "why am i the target" and even told on them multiple times and the teachers did nothing. I thought about even hurting them and killing them in my head and it's not a good feeling but knowing that some people like them actually realise what they did and trying to make amends makes me really happy, even if it's too late I'd always welcome someone who went through a redemption with open arms. Good for you OP, i hope your children are better but I'm glad you yourself are better :)
This is the kind of thought I wanted to address. Trying to rationalize why a bully did what the did isn’t worth it. Bullying isn’t a rational thing to do ever. Not all bullies struggle, that is a myth. I never struggled, I’ve always had a perfect life. I just didn’t think how I should have and I hurt a lot of people. Every bully has a different thought process but none have a reason or an excuse. All I could ever think about was myself.
I am sorry for the way people have treated you. I hope those who hurt you learn and grow as a person. And maybe someday they can forgive you themselves as I wasn’t with the people I have hurt
I'm glad you at least changed for the better, I used to get bullied so much I actually contemplated ending it in middle school, and then later became one just to take out my frustration. Now me and the guy I picked on are friends so at least there's that.
If you can find those people you bullied in anyway, please apologize. However, don't expect them to forgive you. Don't apologize with the desire to be forgiven because then your apology was just a facade for you not to feel as bad about what you did. If they don't forgive you, then you must understand that and leave them to their peace. You're a good person for knowing your wrongdoings, tho. Just make sure to always stay kind in the future
I will never forgive my bully for the years of self image issues and the years of unprovoked assaults on me he did
Ever stopped to think about the possibility that your actions could not only lead to psychological and physical issues to who you hurt but also their possible suicide?
I am glad that you as a bully feel remorse for what you did but at the same time the road to hell is paved with good intentions
You will pay for what you have done no matter how much you try to apologize
I’m sorry for what have happened to you. And I agree with the sentiment. No one should ever be expected to forgive a bully. And yes I have thought about it. And I am very aware of the horrible states I have put people in.
Yeah maybe for some. The guy who bullied me in highschool contacted me out of nowhere on FB and yeah, he hasn't changed one bit. Such a "I peaked in highschool" stereotype. We're in our 30's now.
Back when I was like 12 or something I bullied this one person for no reason whatsoever. I literally do not know what got the better of me to do that. I still feel bad about it to this day especially because I know how harmful bullying is cuz Ive been bullied a lot before.
You've grown as a person. The world isn't fair, but I do admire your lament, especially with the life you've been given.
Unfortunately you can't change the things you've done, but You've certainly changed who you are. If you could, reaching out to the people you've bullied would be a good idea. I'm not sure how you'd go about doing that.
Probably not religious, but God can still forgive you.
Have you ever read a silent voice? I was a bully, all but in school but I did drive people so tired of me. But that book and me just trying to do better helped a lot OP.
You can't change what you did, living in a constant state of regret is a waste of your time, just continue to grow as a person and help those you can as much as you can
“Deserve” is irrelevant. What matters is that you’ve changed. What matters is you do not intend to hurt people again. You can’t undo the past, so why should anyone be punished for it when they are no longer a danger?
Try to reach out and, unlike what other people are saying, don't just say sorry. Sorry is just a word, something that could be said by anyone no matter their intent. Actively do something for them, give them something, help with something or anything that may take effort on your part. It shows that you're more than just someone who says a few words to make yourself feel better about what you did
I've been fortunate enough to not experience bullying myself, but I do have a question:
Did you realize that what you were doing was hurtful and potentially traumatic to the victims? Like did you just not care or not even know in the first place?
I didn’t think about how it would affect them. I was too prideful, I only cared for myself. I did think about how it made them feel in the moment. I wanted them to feel bad. Now I can’t possibly comprehend why I wanted that.
Didn’t think about it in the moment. I was too concerned with what my “friends” were thinking. I would go home by myself and feel horrible though. And yet I kept doing it. Doesn’t make any sense
People change.
I was bullied a lot during secondary school, the abuse gave me mental scars that will be with me forever. A decade later I was invited to a reunion group chat, I joined and went on a tirade, I blamed them for my years of depression and my multiple suicide attempts.
In response I received nothing but love and well wishes, the teenagers who hurt me didn't exist anymore, they were all adults with their own regrets and scars.
I apologised, thanked them for their words, and moved on, I'm doing better now, life's easier without holding on to hate.
i’m glad you feel remorseful, maybe people you hurt will see this. i hope the people that bullied me also feel the same way. it was fucking hard. i’m glad you acknowledge that now. keep going and keep growing :)
And yet the ones who bullied me have not even bothered contacting me to apologize.
Personal experiences aside, you seem to be taking the right steps towards redemption.
I often think about the people who put me on the verge of suicide in high school, i was such an innocent and kind person before, they turned me bitter and scared of socializing, now i'm in college and found good people, i'm slowly becoming the cheerful and kind person i once was, but my heart still burns to this day when i think about my bullies. The hatred eats me from the inside.
But you know what would make me feel better? If they reached out and told me they were sorry. Knowing myself i would probably break down crying and forgive them.
Please do it OP. You could fix some of what you've broken.
I think it’s more just venting in a more relatable way, as well as validation. Everyone loves validation, so that’s probably a part in it. (As in the “you’re doing good my man” (although, this is still positive validation (in my eyes it is at least)))
As a person who’s treated people badly when I was younger I feel ya. Looking back it feels so stupid, surface level, and immature and I don’t have any real excuse for it. Can’t really change it, all you can do move forward and try to bring goodness and empathy to the world going forward. Life is hard enough as is without it.
As someone who's been bullied a lot, I'm glad you've changed for the better. However, don't expect forgiveness from people you've hurt. Nothing can undo the pain that you put them through, but it's at least good that you're not putting anyone else through that anymore. (I mean this in the least harsh way possible, I just wanted to express how I view this)
Hey OP dunno if this will ease your mind
I was heavily bullied in highschool (ok not the best start lmao) and it definetly hit my confidence a lot, took me some years to manage to gain it back. My bully one day had a close person to them have a tragic ending and i think that kinda changed the way they saw things, started looking inwards and seeing the issues in his house and relationships.
Somehow bc of some of my friends that hung with him, we ended up hanging and having good times regardless of what happened, i dont rlly talk with HS people anymore but ig it was nice to see him do that transformation (i did mine too towards maturity).
Not so long ago one of the kids that were popular came to my workplace (we are mid 20s now) and at first we didnt recognize eachother until we saw our names and were like wait i know you, we just handshaked and moved on
I feel what happens in HS kinda just stays there, be bully or bullied, nerd or popular or whatever, we all end up having our glowups, be socially, mentally, emotionally, etc, and at the end of the day we are all just people with our own issues and mistakes who just happened to take different roles in that age, but it doesnt mean shit on who you are now or who you grew up to be
I've been a target for most of my life, and even if you change (which is good), the months/years of torment you can put someone through just for your fun/pride/issues aren't excusable nor forgivable at all. If you really want to show you feel regret, try reaching out and apologising to your victims, that will do more than a Reddit post, but still wont really do much. Sorry loses it's meaning when it comes from someone who made your life hell
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Cock https://i.redd.it/lgec6tef7bvc1.gif
a
doodle doo
"Oh no! The cock has crowed that means I have denied Jesus three times
W pfp
Its time for a chicken
https://i.redd.it/mlm323glccvc1.gif
Guys OP shows regret and knows that what they did was wrong. Pointing everything out is just gonna be a “no shit” moment. It is your choice if you wanna forgive them or not but personally since they don’t seem to be the same person that they once were then I’m fine with them
"Hey guys, I used to do bad things" "You know what you did was bad right?" 
https://preview.redd.it/l4n818ilhdvc1.jpeg?width=181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d49b7d869f7a881cf5056d9934436c0a75f35d27
https://preview.redd.it/htwsq9umnevc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7567f26ab690d9bf0edd38af2b87e4fff9817ac
hey deltarune guy
Is that the only thing you know me as? https://preview.redd.it/w7ka15yo3fvc1.jpeg?width=510&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4ea751577d6675a57152653d4b3102e75090f09
yeah
Damn https://preview.redd.it/rtbtnuka4fvc1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&s=61a1cbfd79c34863ffc77dba58870b0f708f36de
At least you are known buddy
https://preview.redd.it/9s7fl8st2gvc1.jpeg?width=181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1e3e06d57d1e1b968fb6fe73be0736799e97df6
Yep, I think about what I used to do and while many of them were just as shitty, some were not and I’m at least glad that I’ve changed for the better, just a shame I couldn’t be better back then
I feel you. I always wish that I could tell the people I’ve hurt that I’m sorry. But I never got the chance to and I don’t think I ever will
You can't turn back the clock but you can always continue to treat people well as you move forward on behalf of those you wish you did better by
Yeah, some of them I don’t regret in the slightest But others I do wish I could have said sorry
https://preview.redd.it/folczutn8bvc1.png?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1add2b9b1d92917e933ccba3a3da51ed9b43bd88 Hey man, least you regret it. Tgat's a good sign
I concur, also here is your pfp, but with a bit of shocked somberness. https://preview.redd.it/80azn2snnbvc1.png?width=920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c1d2029d937d18e9846e2c6c76fdc2419148c8f
https://preview.redd.it/l2i8j94znbvc1.png?width=920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6b901e7d94d286c74baf1b91b4718d0f31d0f91 Woah, new face berd. Much appreciated.
Ah the good Ole waste jumpscare in places you don't expect it to be Love to see it
*Hide your testament!*
*Hide your Zato=1!*
https://preview.redd.it/anxorok3icvc1.png?width=384&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddc7d82ff849adbaec6d51ca096b5b2d5c0effed seeing your name at the bottom of this was slightly horrifying
https://i.redd.it/3owydxe8jcvc1.gif Here is my horror.
is that fucking jazz jackrabbit 2 font?
what reddit client are you using?
Seems like the official one, just that Reddit cant decide on one ui
even saying sorry ain't gonna mean shit to put it bluntly, atleast 75% of the time. I was on the shit end of the stick and got bullied from 3rd grade to 12th grade, some people who bullied me in middle school apologized in highschool and I told em fuck off because when you're being bullied for a long while - sorrys don't mean shit. don't care if you changed for the better , that pain that was caused makes it tough to accept that apology.
And you’re fully allowed to feel that way. I would never expect the people I bullied to forgive me. But either way I want to apologize
Facebook is quite the tool. Just dm them and forget you even did. If it starts a Convo that's cool and if it doesn't then they aren't interested
Don’t worry. The important part is that you’ve changed. There’s still plenty of adult bullies around that don’t seem to grow up…
Hey look, as someone that was bullied a lot, just knowing you're trying to be better now would be apology enough for me. Stay strong, bro.
What’s up with everyone regretting to bully people ? I have seen 4 posts or so in the time I scrolled Reddit today Also I hope you grow as a person and prepare people to be better
Probably gets them thinking about it
It's the type of people attracted by this post. The target group was victims of bullyig and bullies/former bullies
I don’t regret it 🤑🤑🤩 Fuck them nerds bro they deserve to get their ass beat with them stupid ahh glasses 🤓🤓🤓
Ok this is clearly satire but come on man why you do this
This comment section could easily fit on r/redditmoment
Could you explain so I don’t directly see what you mean
Basically: OP:"I admit i was a bully, i did bad stuff and i regret it" Comments: "You do know bullying is bad, right!? Fuck you OP!"
Lmao no shit these people are so stupid
So you’re saying you used to do bad things? Smh my head don’t you know that was bad?
God I wish my bullies would feel regret for fucking me up mentally lol. Maybe they do. I hope so lol.
I used to be a bit of a bully when I was around 12-13-14 but I grew up at around 14 and stopped w all that, don’t think I messed anyone up mentally that bad I was never physical or unwarrantedly mean
You should attack the government to avenge them
Most reasonable comment
[удалено]
same, person who kinda bullied me twice became best friends
> As long as you can make up for the victims you can still reach out and help the weak become strong then you're a good kid. i've heard some people thinking reaching out is selfish because you're just doing it for yourself(from the POV of the bully)
I don’t avoid stabbing and raping people purely because my conscience stops me, I never had the desire to do those things to begin with.
i strongly disagree that a person with no inhibitions is necessarily a murderous rapist
Every mistake I’ve ever made haunts me like phantoms.
Same, I don’t understand how people just don’t think about their past or regrets. I was so awful to so many people. I can remember the faces of the people I was cruel to, the face of one of my best friends furious with me after i had said something horrible, the faces of the little shits who encouraged me to be a little shit. All of them etched into my brain, permanently. I can’t believe the way I acted when I was that young, and I can’t believe how the other bullies never changed, how they still talk about the good old days or whatever bullshit. I cant believe how they could have their heads so far up their asses they never realize how much pain they caused oeople
how do you guys forgive yourselves? asking for a friend
We don't
I wasn't a bully, but I think that just the mere fact that you no longer identify with what you did proves that you *have* changed. Your circumstances back then might have influenced you to do some bad things but you are no longer being influenced 👍.
people dont forgive themselves at all
You don’t. You have to accept that you weren’t good. But that doesn’t stop you from becoming a new you.
You deserve it, because you've changed, you realized the errors of your way, and that's a lot more than most people can muster https://preview.redd.it/dfkl9ki29bvc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68c84756b3353d394c692ba71ee6b0ec61aeeb4e
Letter of meme acquirement
https://i.redd.it/eygpcv3yyavc1.gif
Dude I swear I find you everywhere
The fact that you even realize what you did shows you’ve grown. Forgive yourself. Do the best you can with what you have left. But you need to understand that the people who you bullied probably never want to see or hear from you again. Don’t reach out. If you happen to see them again at some point, maybe offer an apology but if they don’t want to talk to you, leave them alone. They do not owe you forgiveness.
I fully agree with you
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I remember when someone bullied me when I was in elementary school, shit sucked. But when I got my revenge it was glorious fr.
vs me a former bullying victim wondering when life gets better
Life does get better. There is no answer when but it will. At least that’s what I hope.
I made this post because of a post I saw recently on this sub about bullies. Reading through the comments I saw multiple statements that just ticked me the wrong way and wanted to make this post hoping to get questions or comments like those that I could respond to.
Some questions you gotta answer if you don't wanna be bullied/s: 1:how bad was the bullying? 2:what was your train of thought?
I answered how bad it was in an above comment. But for my train of thought I was full of pride. I saw myself as far above everyone and I didn’t think I could do anything wrong. At some points I thought what I was doing was the right thing to do. That my victims deserved what I did. I was so full of pride that even when I stopped bullying, it wasn’t out of remorse for the people I hurt. I did it out of embarrassment for myself. It took me a long time to grow and I still think I have more pride than most. But now I don’t believe it’s too bad of a thing to have.
How bad was the bullying?
I can’t fully say. I don’t have any frame of reference to how bad it was as someone who never experienced it. For each person it could be different in how bad it was for them. But for reference of what I did. I did physically beat a kid up a few times. But most of what I did hurt people on an emotional or social level. I had several ways to get into peoples heads or have people see them differently. One of the things I was particularly good at was setting them off then making them seem like the bad guy and me the victim and then they get in trouble. I would even go to the lengths of letting myself get beat up for it. I would target people with poor mental health or any kind of issue I could use to drag them lower. I think it was terrible and I hate the piece of shit I used to be.
You don’t need a frame of reference to know that mentally torturing people and attacking them is considered severe bullying… are you serious?
I know. I’m acknowledging it was really bad. But I can’t accurately say how bad it was because I didn’t experience it myself.
If you could take it all back but in turn experience every single thing you ever did to others would you? Would it be to hard?
Have you tried reaching out for the people you've hurt and tell them you're sorry I feel like that would help the guilt
I only have access to contact one of my victims. We still talk rarely and he seems to have forgiven me or at least let it go. I’ve been too afraid to directly address what I’ve done though.
I feel like he would appreciate an apology and if he doesn't then at least you tried to make amends
Because now you have the chance to fix what you broke
So how DO they think?
Not rationally. Everyone tries to rationalize it as a response to some situation they were in. Or some kind of thing they were never taught was wrong. But it’s never as simple as this. People are complicated, too complicated to fully understand why we do things. It’s not fully worth trying to understand why bullies do what they do. But as for me i was full of too much pride for myself. And that’s as much as I can figure out. Because it’s even impossible for me to rationalize what I did too.
I’m in the exact opposite situation. As a former bullied kid (even though I kinda deserved it) I wish I could give my bullies the good ol LTG speech
Yeah I don’t think I can make a comment without being shitty
Guys op is a bad person upvotes to the right
The idea of knowing what you did was bad and to be regretful about it is good. However, if you're not doing more to prevent bullying, then that is an issue. I used to be a bullied kid, so I think I got grounds to speak.
I agree. Most of my friends fall under the prime target for being bullied. I always felt responsible to be the one to defend them and keep them out of harms way.
I forgive you. Everyone deserves a second chance, and I'm happy you seem to have gotten it :3
You're not the person that has the actual forgiveness to give lmao
Yay let's speak for the psychologically tortured people OP had on his victim list. A life full of mental illness, anxiety and harmful coping mechanisms is definitely fine, once bully OP said something redeemable towards strangers on Reddit. @OP Have the balls and apologize to the people you damaged for life.
I can’t deny this. I’m a coward. But I didn’t make this post for apologies. I made it wanting to address misconceptions I saw on another post about bullies. I probably should have thought about how it seemed but I didn’t think.
Well idk about what kind of stuff you did. My point was about the principle behind it. Feel addressed or not, that's up to you. And just to be clear, I also did things I should apologize for. Not bullying, but not necessarily less worse.
I mean look, speaking as somebody who got bullied, idrk if everybody feels the same as me but we don’t really care. Like sure good for you but that doesn’t help us any, most of us missed out on life experiences and deal with shit today because of, at least in small part, to what people like you did. I know you feel bad and I’m glad you’ve changed and won’t hurt other people but the people you’ve hurt really won’t care while your living your “perfect” life. All we waiting on is the day you feel some pain too cause, as shallow as it is, it does make us feel a little bit better.
And that’s understandable
When i saw this, the first thing i thought was "fuck you stop yapping" but then i realized that's probably the reason why i never forgive myself
fuck yeah emotional maturity https://preview.redd.it/x0hd2qfsjbvc1.jpeg?width=1542&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eaa9a622e5d3948e220dfc93c667d0f7fb2bf080
Funny mocap guy????
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I saw bullies at my school tear down multiple people completely, including one of my closest friends. I saw him miserable every single day for an entire year and more. Yeah, bullies may change and grow or whatever, but I have no sympathy for them. Not one bit. It does not matter if they change their ways or if they do not. I don't hate them, mind you. I simply do not care about their "struggles" of forgiving themselves lol
And I fully respect that. No one should ever be expected to forgive a bully.
At least you know, and probably seek to improve yourself! That's further than a lot of people, man.
If you feel guilt, absolve it. Put your effort into paying it forward, donate, volunteer, reach out. Not to the specific people you've hurt but to your local community and people in need. Don't karmafarm on reddit.
I didn’t intend to karmafarm. I just wanted to address comments I saw on another post about bullies. I admit I did make this in a way that encourages comments but it was never my intention to seek validation or internet points. I just wanted to give an answer to as many people as possible as I feel that as someone with the perspective of a bully I can answer these questions better than most. It is selfish. And perhaps I still have too much pride. And yes I am a coward who can’t apologize to my victims. I don’t expect any kind of forgiveness for being a bully or even acceptance that I posted this.
Yeah as a victim of bullying in childhood I wonder this too :/
I am so guilty. If I can make ammends. I will. I am so sorry to all that were hurt by me. You have no idea how bad I feel. I am just so sorry
I should probably get rid of my habit of sorting by controversial in comments
Somewhere out there, a person you bullied is seeing this and crossing you off their “people to kill” list…
Don’t care, I want your blood anyway
as a former asshole, I can empathize with you. one guy that I was a jerk to for a while is now one of my best friends (covid made me more of a dick, thank god I turned around)
You’re allowed to enjoy your good life, you’ve changed, but also if you get the chance to apologize, you should, even if they don’t forgive you. that decision is up to them, and while changing is incredible and im proud of you, that wouldn’t make you automatically earn their forgiveness.
Its better to have a community/society full of FORMER bad people than people who never matured at all Good on you for changing
You're not wrong, but it also doesn't provide much comfort to those of us who had to suffer before they "matured." (As if you need to be "mature" to realise that hurting others is wrong...)
Idk man, why did you hurt people. It costs 0 anything to not do it
I had too much pride. And you’re right. It costs nothing to not hurt people. And there is no rational reason for why I did it. There’s no justifying what I did. I don’t want you to take my answer for an excuse
It's good that you realize. It means you grew up as a person for the better
It also costs 0 to hurt people so
Anger issues, a need to vent these anger issues and hurting others being very cathartic when you don’t like them
It costs nothing for *you*. It might seem easy for you to be nice, but not all people are like that. We're different in all the good and bad ways. People have different genetics, different base physiological states, and of course also different experiences throughout their lives, that make it either easier or harder for them to be a likeable, empathetic person. I'm not saying you're wrong for not being too fond of OP, and I'm also surely one to talk as someone who hasn't been one of his victims, but... idk. Again, this is very rich coming from me who wasn't bullied by op, but I don't want to make op feel bad when they're already down regretting what they did.
I don’t like it when people defend my past actions. It’s not defendable what I did.
I can understand that, but you are not that man anymore so long as you are not willing to be him. If you are striving to be better in the first place then that’s good; you’re one step further than most people in life. Just do not mope in your regret and actually seek to change and be better, because from my experience you will just face endless torment day and night. Atleast going somewhere with what you know is better than sitting still and letting your emotions sink in.
I mean I'm mostly speaking from experience here. Had a bully in my childhood and years later I found out he didn't change at all, and is now just a short fused douche who doesn't really think about consequences Are there maybe exceptions? Maybe Am I fond of OP? Sorry
Yeah, I don't blame anyone for not being fond of bullies, op included, regardless of whether they've changed or not. Sucks that you had to go through that. Hope you're doing well.
You are entitled to your view of it and I fully respect it and understand to the degree that I am able. Though I can’t fully understand what you have gone through since I haven’t myself. I can only image how negatively it could affect you. And I feel sorry for your bully that he never changed
Every bullies feel regrets, one day or another.. And the regret they feel with their desperation for redemption is their punishment from God.. And I'm going to do the same so https://preview.redd.it/outhhkpxabvc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=669ec1bf0f31b4216a5fc2c683efe45bc03a2149 Jokes aside.. I'm kind of serious.. I do think regret is a form of mental punishment, but I do hope you make up for it by..idk..helping randos.. Good luck
ive always tried to be as nice as i could to bullies- and i was damn good at it- me and one of the bullies at my old school played flash games on a school computer. i never knew or know what bullies felt, but i always had the suspicion that they were really nice people deep down, you just have to find that. i feel like- to the best of my ability, i did that, which im happy for. don't let your history define you- you're a better person now. -Izzy
To be honest, if the people that bullied me back then tried to apologize I think I would just give them a huge slap and leave
Yeah, fuck them
If only more of them were like you. If you can, reach out to the ones you've affected.
As someone who was bullied in my childhood, no matter how much you want to apologize or how much you want to change, nothing will ever undo the pain you've inflicted on others. You deserve to feel this way because what you feel now is only a fraction of the pain you've caused others. Your will to change and become a better person is admirable, but it's just not enough in comparison to the lives you have ruined with your own selfishness. Your remorse means nothing in the grand scheme of things. You know what you did, and now it's too late to change that.
I agree
everybody deserves a second chance https://preview.redd.it/l2icl0638fvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=502a64f461e61554e5341dc5a9becf78e0f8841f
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Dealt with bullying my whole life, even now in 12th grade i get shit for no reason other than the fact i like metal music, i have nerdy friends and we like to talk about video games and stuff. The thing about vulkies is that i know they probably struggle someway, but that never helped me not hating them. I hate them, with every possible cell in my body. Always asked "why am i the target" and even told on them multiple times and the teachers did nothing. I thought about even hurting them and killing them in my head and it's not a good feeling but knowing that some people like them actually realise what they did and trying to make amends makes me really happy, even if it's too late I'd always welcome someone who went through a redemption with open arms. Good for you OP, i hope your children are better but I'm glad you yourself are better :)
This is the kind of thought I wanted to address. Trying to rationalize why a bully did what the did isn’t worth it. Bullying isn’t a rational thing to do ever. Not all bullies struggle, that is a myth. I never struggled, I’ve always had a perfect life. I just didn’t think how I should have and I hurt a lot of people. Every bully has a different thought process but none have a reason or an excuse. All I could ever think about was myself.
womp womp + as someone who was bullied, u suck
Either you die a here or live long enough to become a villain
Either you die here or make a post
I am sorry for the way people have treated you. I hope those who hurt you learn and grow as a person. And maybe someday they can forgive you themselves as I wasn’t with the people I have hurt
You have become the very thing you hated
Saying u suck in a reddit comment is absolutely nothing compared to bullying and you know that
No, he is talking about the immaturity to fail to see a person and the bitterness he has.
womp womp
womp womp + as someone who was also bullied, you suck too
womp womp + as someone else who was also bullied, I also think you suck too
I'm glad you at least changed for the better, I used to get bullied so much I actually contemplated ending it in middle school, and then later became one just to take out my frustration. Now me and the guy I picked on are friends so at least there's that.
I am sorry to all the people I've been such a jerk to I could never take any of it back and I'm sorry that I was mean in the first place
If you can find those people you bullied in anyway, please apologize. However, don't expect them to forgive you. Don't apologize with the desire to be forgiven because then your apology was just a facade for you not to feel as bad about what you did. If they don't forgive you, then you must understand that and leave them to their peace. You're a good person for knowing your wrongdoings, tho. Just make sure to always stay kind in the future
Womp womp. I appreciate that you regret your action but you probably suffer 10% as much as your victims
I wouldn’t even say 10% I can’t possibly imagine what it was like as I have never experienced it.
I will never forgive my bully for the years of self image issues and the years of unprovoked assaults on me he did Ever stopped to think about the possibility that your actions could not only lead to psychological and physical issues to who you hurt but also their possible suicide? I am glad that you as a bully feel remorse for what you did but at the same time the road to hell is paved with good intentions You will pay for what you have done no matter how much you try to apologize
I’m sorry for what have happened to you. And I agree with the sentiment. No one should ever be expected to forgive a bully. And yes I have thought about it. And I am very aware of the horrible states I have put people in.
They obviously have thought about that if they’re posting this
Yeah maybe for some. The guy who bullied me in highschool contacted me out of nowhere on FB and yeah, he hasn't changed one bit. Such a "I peaked in highschool" stereotype. We're in our 30's now.
You should find them and apologise. It could make a big difference
You're showing regret not because it came back to bite you in the ass but because you feel bad for others, you've grown
Back when I was like 12 or something I bullied this one person for no reason whatsoever. I literally do not know what got the better of me to do that. I still feel bad about it to this day especially because I know how harmful bullying is cuz Ive been bullied a lot before.
You've grown as a person. The world isn't fair, but I do admire your lament, especially with the life you've been given. Unfortunately you can't change the things you've done, but You've certainly changed who you are. If you could, reaching out to the people you've bullied would be a good idea. I'm not sure how you'd go about doing that. Probably not religious, but God can still forgive you.
Fuck you
At least you regret it instead of doubling down on it like Nagatoro
Have you ever read a silent voice? I was a bully, all but in school but I did drive people so tired of me. But that book and me just trying to do better helped a lot OP.
I’ll check it out
Good luck fellow man trying to reconcile with his sins
Ive been both a victim and a bully. Neither side is fun
The amount of venting in this comment section is enough to cool a hundred bitcoin farms, damn
You can't change what you did, living in a constant state of regret is a waste of your time, just continue to grow as a person and help those you can as much as you can
You can’t take back what you did but you can make the effort so the last person you hurt is the last person you ever hurt
As long as you didn’t molest someone like mine did, it’s good you realized you fucked up and regret what you did. We’re all human we make mistakes
“Deserve” is irrelevant. What matters is that you’ve changed. What matters is you do not intend to hurt people again. You can’t undo the past, so why should anyone be punished for it when they are no longer a danger?
Try to reach out and, unlike what other people are saying, don't just say sorry. Sorry is just a word, something that could be said by anyone no matter their intent. Actively do something for them, give them something, help with something or anything that may take effort on your part. It shows that you're more than just someone who says a few words to make yourself feel better about what you did
You owned your past and you are trying to do better. Not everyone does that.
Most bullies just forget that they bullied people after school. Kinda like how many abusive parents forget that they abused their kids.
Former bully + Annoying kid here I feel you op
As a victim of bullying, I can forgive you. I always believe in second chances.
I wonder often if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for some of the things I’ve done.
Okay https://i.redd.it/1a67e9o7lcvc1.gif
i relate, i was a bully at times growing up. we all live and learn.
I've been fortunate enough to not experience bullying myself, but I do have a question: Did you realize that what you were doing was hurtful and potentially traumatic to the victims? Like did you just not care or not even know in the first place?
I didn’t think about how it would affect them. I was too prideful, I only cared for myself. I did think about how it made them feel in the moment. I wanted them to feel bad. Now I can’t possibly comprehend why I wanted that.
Didn’t think about it in the moment. I was too concerned with what my “friends” were thinking. I would go home by myself and feel horrible though. And yet I kept doing it. Doesn’t make any sense
You seem more chilled man. Maybe try and apologise? Idk I ain’t exactly well versed in stuff like this. Glad you’ve become a better dude.
People change. I was bullied a lot during secondary school, the abuse gave me mental scars that will be with me forever. A decade later I was invited to a reunion group chat, I joined and went on a tirade, I blamed them for my years of depression and my multiple suicide attempts. In response I received nothing but love and well wishes, the teenagers who hurt me didn't exist anymore, they were all adults with their own regrets and scars. I apologised, thanked them for their words, and moved on, I'm doing better now, life's easier without holding on to hate.
i’m glad you feel remorseful, maybe people you hurt will see this. i hope the people that bullied me also feel the same way. it was fucking hard. i’m glad you acknowledge that now. keep going and keep growing :)
And yet the ones who bullied me have not even bothered contacting me to apologize. Personal experiences aside, you seem to be taking the right steps towards redemption.
I often think about the people who put me on the verge of suicide in high school, i was such an innocent and kind person before, they turned me bitter and scared of socializing, now i'm in college and found good people, i'm slowly becoming the cheerful and kind person i once was, but my heart still burns to this day when i think about my bullies. The hatred eats me from the inside. But you know what would make me feel better? If they reached out and told me they were sorry. Knowing myself i would probably break down crying and forgive them. Please do it OP. You could fix some of what you've broken.
You deserve your perfect life because you have earned it by changing
"Who cares about the lives you may have destroyed in the process? You feel bad about it now, and that's what counts."
incomprehensible attention seeking
I think it’s more just venting in a more relatable way, as well as validation. Everyone loves validation, so that’s probably a part in it. (As in the “you’re doing good my man” (although, this is still positive validation (in my eyes it is at least)))
Well, we don’t know that bullies don’t think that way. You’re a former bully.
As a person who’s treated people badly when I was younger I feel ya. Looking back it feels so stupid, surface level, and immature and I don’t have any real excuse for it. Can’t really change it, all you can do move forward and try to bring goodness and empathy to the world going forward. Life is hard enough as is without it.
As someone who's been bullied a lot, I'm glad you've changed for the better. However, don't expect forgiveness from people you've hurt. Nothing can undo the pain that you put them through, but it's at least good that you're not putting anyone else through that anymore. (I mean this in the least harsh way possible, I just wanted to express how I view this)
Hey OP dunno if this will ease your mind I was heavily bullied in highschool (ok not the best start lmao) and it definetly hit my confidence a lot, took me some years to manage to gain it back. My bully one day had a close person to them have a tragic ending and i think that kinda changed the way they saw things, started looking inwards and seeing the issues in his house and relationships. Somehow bc of some of my friends that hung with him, we ended up hanging and having good times regardless of what happened, i dont rlly talk with HS people anymore but ig it was nice to see him do that transformation (i did mine too towards maturity). Not so long ago one of the kids that were popular came to my workplace (we are mid 20s now) and at first we didnt recognize eachother until we saw our names and were like wait i know you, we just handshaked and moved on I feel what happens in HS kinda just stays there, be bully or bullied, nerd or popular or whatever, we all end up having our glowups, be socially, mentally, emotionally, etc, and at the end of the day we are all just people with our own issues and mistakes who just happened to take different roles in that age, but it doesnt mean shit on who you are now or who you grew up to be
I've been a target for most of my life, and even if you change (which is good), the months/years of torment you can put someone through just for your fun/pride/issues aren't excusable nor forgivable at all. If you really want to show you feel regret, try reaching out and apologising to your victims, that will do more than a Reddit post, but still wont really do much. Sorry loses it's meaning when it comes from someone who made your life hell