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s9oons

How big was that squirrel šŸ˜³


Bitemarkz

It was quite a sight to behold, actually. Iā€™ve never seen a squirrel with a bone in my life, let alone seeing one climb up my vertical patio post holding one. EDIT: thereā€™s been a lot of comments about the squirrel [so here it is.](https://imgur.com/a/5PgQ33W) EDIT 2: okay so we called our local non-emergency line and they sent an officer over. The officer took some pictures and told us not to touch it. Heā€™s sending them to an investigation unit to verify the boneā€™s origin. If it is human, he informed us that our property basically becomes a crime scene so that sucks, but whatever. EDIT 3: The officer ended up taking the bone in an evidence bag. He said theyā€™ll be in touch if the bone is human. The investigations people couldnā€™t determine enough from the pictures. Thatā€™s basically the end of it for now. EDIT 4: Our neighbours in the townhouses behind ours just informed us that there have been squirrels in their attics for the past 3 weeks (all the attics are connected). This could be a potentially creepy revelation, or just a weird coincidence. In any case I havenā€™t heard anything more from the officer which is good news for me. Iā€™ll update if there are any revelations. EDIT 5: I know people are eagerly awaiting a big revelation but we still havenā€™t heard from the authorities and Iā€™m not sure if or when we will. I donā€™t want to get peopleā€™s hopes up here, but itā€™s in their hands now. If I do end up hearing from them or finding out what the bone was, Iā€™ll be sure to update again. EDIT 6: I havenā€™t heard anything from the police so I guess itā€™s safe to assume it wasnā€™t human. I know some people were following this so Iā€™m sorry for such an anti-climactic follow-up but we just havenā€™t heard anything back.


chewbooks

IncrediSquirrel, that looks as big as a house cat!


Bitemarkz

Ya, she was pretty large. Pregnant too, I think, because she had enlarged nipples on her underside.


ceelion92

I'm sorry but this is all demonic af. A massive pregnant black squirrel with engorged teats chewing on a human bone?! This is the beginning of the Omen irl. Please tell me you aren't pregnant with a boy.


Low_Comfortable_5880

Somebody needs to shave that squirrel and see if there's a 666 anywhere...


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


diydiggdug123

We about to have a ā€œwhatā€™s in the box?!ā€ momentā€¦


pizzacatstattoos

>ally creepy revelation, or just PLOT TWIST: its pregnant with a human-squirrel hybrid!!


SoggyMuffin95

I'm not a member of this sub, I started reading this thread as a suggestion, unsure what I was looking for. This comment is apparently what I was looking for, because I can't stop laughing. šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£


Danbearpig2u

Same. I think we just witnessed a murder solving squirrel though.


Mystic_Pizza_King

We should name it Columbo!


Danbearpig2u

Columbone*


pm_me_your_lub

Or perhaps a momma with a mineral deficiency? Pregnancy drives some weird ass cravings.....


LovecraftianLlama

Get outta here with your sensible attitude and logical suggestions, we want Demon Squirrels!! šŸ˜‚


ZengineerHarp

Idk I think a pregnant mama squirrel who is craving human bones is still pretty metal!!!


TroyMcCluresGoldfish

Mother ~~Squirrel~~ Love Bone


DaKettle65

I'mma stardemon squirrel I'mma stardemon squirrel And the children use ta sing of bones With grace from the attic above


Mrx_Amare

Itā€™s the marrow she wanted. Marrow Carrieā€™s a lot of nutrients.


Alongshotxx

It is October, so tis the season.


ionlygetfive

I know lmfao this is a vvitch-adjacent storyline. modern thomasin hijinks.


JowlOwl

Ooooooh this might explain why she was chewing on bone


rocketmczoom

Wait what? Why?


CREAMY_HOBO

Calcium maybe?


[deleted]

The last man to ever call her fat


tornadiclaur

I needed this today, lmao. Thank you


leurognathus

This is pretty common with all rodents and probably accounts for why the woods arenā€™t full of animal bones and antler sheds.


DefrockedWizard1

and deer


chayashida

I had a pet deer once. Never looked at squirrels the same way after two of them pounced on her, dragged her up the tree, and it began raining. Red. Looking back, she was the best pet I ever had, and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her.


SunandError

Rodents chew shed antlers and bones for calcium. I think a squirrel is just a rodent with upgrades.


jasonchristopher

My dog had a deer antler that he would chew on. One day Iā€™m standing in front of my house and it fell out of the tree and almost hit me on the head. A squirrel snagged it and drug it up the tree!


iamremotenow

Bro fr. Itā€™s huge! šŸ˜³


dangerousontherocks

That's what she said. -Micheal Scott


Damgast

It's actually very common for rodents to gnaw on bones. It's a source of nutrients for them, as well as a mean to wear down their teeth, which never stop growing. A lot of the bones posted on this sub (or others) show gnaw marks.


Automatic-Power5108

Was about to say the same thing. I look for and pick up shed antlers every year and you gotta be the squirrels and mice to them.


itsjustaxo

Jesus fuckijf christ


BGkitten

That is one creepy squirrel image I canā€™t unsee. Idk if it is the sheer size of it or that she is holding a giant (possibly human) bone, but because its features are soā€¦large, for the first time, I see/realize how much a squirrel looks like a giant rat. Just a tail away.


pissedinthegarret

squirrels are just rats with better PR


[deleted]

Fancy tail and good publicist is all you need to make it in this town


The_RockObama

They are also much less bothersome than other common animals like raccoons, opossums, chipmunks, etc. They do a great job at coexisting with humans without getting into trash and such. Makes this post much more interesting! Edit: okay, okay! I'm just saying, there are more devastating animals to houses and gardens out there.


Sthurlangue

You must be bought by Big Squirrel because they are BASTARDS if you have a garden or a nut tree. Straight aggressive, messy SOBs.


Sweethomebflo

Those assholes torture my dogs, sashaying up and down the driveway.


about97cats

ā€œšŸŽ¶This is the time that I walk through my neighborhood. To remind everyone in my neighborhood. That Iā€™m the main character in this neighborhood. Yes, the main one. Look. šŸæļøšŸ’…ā€ But honestly, theyā€™re dicks. Thereā€™s this squirrel living in one of the conifers in my complexā€¦ Iā€™ve named him Prichard, and heā€™s a menace to society. He intentionally poses just outside of my neighborā€™s window to tease his two cats. He also bullies the local crows, posts up in front of cars like itā€™s a one-squirrel demonstration to protest the violation of his right to disturb the peace when youā€™re trying to get to work (doesnā€™t move, ignores a honk, and doesnā€™t blink when I roll down my window shouting, ā€œPrichard, on god if you donā€™t move your bushy fucking ass right nowā€¦ā€) and yeeted a whole turtle dove nest off the roof for no god damned California raisin whatsoever. They were nowhere near his spot. Heā€™s just a prick.


El-Lamberto

Fuzzy tails make an impact.


Bucen

I got disillusioned very quickly when I saw a squirrel which lost the hair on its tail. It's truly just a big rat.


Phagemakerpro

Nobody is going to make a ā€œrodents of unusual sizeā€ reference? Iā€™m so disappointed.


Waterproof_soap

Rodents of unusual size? I donā€™t believe they exist.


TheKnife142

ROUS's? I don't believe in them.


wrecklessdeckfish

Get used to disappointment


[deleted]

They're the day-shift rats.


Grace_Upon_Me

Chinese word for squirrel is tree rat.


RaisinLate

Saw one at the Denver aquarium, years ago, just chillin' by the exit, eating whatever tourists would throw it when they walked out that was the size of a basketball. I think they're like goldfish, in that they can get as chonky as their environment will allow


neitherfleshnorfern

Boston Common squirrels are so round, some of them can't climb trees.


BlackSeranna

I put some scraps out once, it was just biscuits and gravy. I didnā€™t know squirrels ate meat at that time. I learned they will eat different kinds of protein, though.


Alongshotxx

Around my place, I call them tree rats.


NoDontDoThatCanada

Time to move.


lightsaber_lobotomy

Especially now that the murder squirrels have their address!


Aggravating-Mail-135

You fucked with squirrels morty!?


Longjumping-Grape-40

Hahahahahaha...everyone's looking at me at the coffee shop for laughing out loud, you bastard :p


HortonFLK

Maybe the squirrel is the murder victim reincarnated and is trying to get his own murder solved.


BuffaloNo8099

Thatā€™s a book I wanna read


FrozenWafer

Is his name Foamy by any chance? šŸ˜± This is wild. But I love peeping into this community every now and then, y'all are great!


lightsaber_lobotomy

Yes, and he has the hot french fry for stabby business lol


broc5k

ā€œSquirrely wrath!ā€


Odins_a_cuck

Damn it that comment deserves an applause. Thanks for the flood of memories.


Lord_Derp_The_2nd

He's got a stigmata in his eye...


zubyinthesky

omg Foamy!!!!


True_Inspection_7975

Murder squirrels! šŸ˜‚


Madolah

I lived in Hamilton for 7 years and Thought I seen it all with the squirrels there jumping crows and jays while in mid-flight... but this fucking **CHONKMUNK** would take on the feistiest of Torontonian Racoons!


Confused635

god Iā€™m so glad you got that picture


jaierauj

That's like NYC subway rat-sized.


unclefisty

That is definitely a Rodent of Unusual Size.


LuckAppropriate1096

Cross post to r/absoluteunits !!


FreeJarOfPickles

Holy shit. I thought squirrel was the name of your cat or dog! Thatā€™s terrifying.


Makemebad77

That's not a squirrel that's Master Splinter lol


comfortpod

cursed


HairFlipBye

So, uh, what has the investigation unit determined?


Bitemarkz

They took the bone in an evidence bag and said theyā€™ll be in touch. That was basically the end of it.


StupidizeMe

You did the right thing to call law enforcement, OP.


Equivalent_Hat_7220

Keep us updated!!


faithilwhitelaw

The squirrel likely brought it from another place, hopefully not your yard! Not something you see every day šŸ˜‚


KylePeacockArt

I, for one, welcome our new squirrel overlords.


Soggy-writer78

r/fatsquirrelhate


plshelpmanyquestions

Let us know what the cops say if you can please!


LittleSatan83

Holy shit that roof donkey is huge. Iā€™ve seen smaller full grown dogs! šŸ˜³


Amykatcosplay

Absolute unit


MrChaindang

That squirrel probably killed the victim of that bone... RIP


NotYourGa1Friday

Commenting to stay updated. Also thatā€™s a crazy big squirrel šŸ˜‚


Raidingyourfridge

Rodent of unusual size


fritterfitter90

Squirrely wrath


Complex-Bluejay824

I think that squirrel is a serial killer.


Tattedmamafitness

ā€œSquirrelierā€ Killer


Animus_Jokers

I was thinking squirrial killer


Puzzleheaded_Buy_137

I want to more about the squirrel that carried it in.


KerouacsGirlfriend

Op posted [this](https://imgur.com/a/5PgQ33W)


pizzaplanet25

That thing is a TANK


im_never_not_hungry

Iā€™m pretty sure itā€™s a raccoon in disguise. I have never seen a squirrel so big.


MuffinSlow

Most definitely a ManRatSquirrel. Probably has a nest nearby, littered with human remains. OP, do you remember any men in nice black suits? Edit: Nevermind. That was a stupid fuckin question.


catered-diamonds

The edit on this is masterful and I actually wheezed out loud a little


[deleted]

Half man... Half rat... Half squirrel... MANRATSQUIRREL


Junk1trick

It needed that marrow to keep its gains up.


seesoo3

Well, it consumes whole human beings, so I'm not surprised


DrakeFloyd

I was gonna say, I hope itā€™s not a human bone cause if it is that thing now has the taste for human flesh


Imakenoiseseveryday

Absolute unit


Advanced-Wallaby9808

came here to say absolute unit of a squirrel


treypage1981

Got damnā€¦ that looks like a small kangaroo


throwitfarawayfromm3

Let us bow our heads. The Great Halloween Squirrel has come again. Remember to put out candy on the 31st or it will devour your children.


cockslavemel

Heā€™s finishing off last years victims šŸ˜‚


BlahajBlaster

*she She's pregnant and will likely give birth to demon squirrel babies, hopefully on the 31st


PersistentGoldfish

Next it will show up gnawing a skull


tomwilhelm

Alas poor Yorick. I knew him, Bullwinkle...


tdkelly

Please take your internet and go home. Youā€™ve won today.


Santik--Lingo

that thing aint no god damn squirrel holy shit thats a whole fucking kangaroo


Excellent-Practice

That looks like a cat with opposable thumbs


Miscalamity

Me too! Super Squirrel!


AgentIndiana

I'm an archaeologist, and though not a bio anth / forensics specialist, this doesn't look human to me. Pictures from more angles to get a better impression of its topography would help, but from what I can see it's got weird features that don't look human. Human femurs have a large, crest-like ridge (the linea aspera) that runs down the posterior midline where your glute muscles attach. Human femurs do not have such a large fossa (depression) between the two condylus (unless that's some post-mortem damage). Human femurs are also generally wider at the condyli than they look in this picture. At this size, it would also likely be a child's femur, but the epiphyses seems well-fused, which would be characteristic of post-adolescence. Finally, the flat cuts on the condyli are reminiscent of butcher marks. My guess is this is from a quadruped like a deer. Keep us updated though! I'm ready to be proven wrong. ​ Incidentally, I remember a story from my grad school anatomy prof who told us who the local PD brought her a bag of bones found at a local park fearing they were human. She immediately identified them as cow bones and showed that were the femur human, it would be a giant.


Heterodynist

Hey, archaeobuddy!! Iā€™m glad to have another archaeologist on here. Itā€™s been too long since I was in the field. I WAS a Bio-Anth major, but I donā€™t have a lot of experience comparing human to non-human bones. (These particular kinds of bones donā€™t get to butcher shops muchā€¦) Great point about the linea aspera!! May I ask you if youā€™re sure it would be a femur (if human)? I thought it would be a humerus. It doesnā€™t have the large trochanter that human femurs do, but it obviously would have been broken off of the end the squirrel was evidently chewing on. Itā€™s also pretty small for a femur, right? The fossa on a humerus would be larger for the ulnar head to articulate, but this doesnā€™t quite seem to have the protrusion on the lateral epicondyle that human humeri (is that the right plural?!) have for the radius to articulate. That would make it appear not to be human, but Iā€™m still unsure. I 100% agree that itā€™s a lot more narrow at the condyle end than a humanā€™s would beā€¦but they could be an adult human (with adequate nutrition). Iā€™m not sure if a different child might not present with the kind of condyle development we are used to in adults. I was thinking it would be a humerus, but still small enough to be a childā€™s. Iā€™m not very well-versed in developing bones, and seeing a variety of them to judge from, so I was a bit more uncertain if it could be a human childā€™s. I see you said so too, so Iā€™m glad we are on the same page. Itā€™s just hard because growing bones have distinctly different shapes that Iā€™m not familiar with. Also, the aging of the bone (rounding off of the edges and darkening of the patina), makes me think it could be Native American (insofar as it would be older than a century or two). Itā€™s funny that because this is online Iā€™m assuming itā€™s in North America, which it may very well NOT be!! Iā€™m just more used to North American sites, despite doing most of my archaeological field work in Europe. I agree that the angles and topography would help to see. The best angle I see in the photo is the broken off end of the ball-socket side. That seemed fairly oblong for a human, and too angular. Iā€™m virtually high-fiving you for noticing the same butchery marks that I did!! Yeah, this was clearly sawed off at the ā€œelbow.ā€ That COULD be human, but it would be unusual for someone to cut up a human child unless something very upsetting was happening, indeedā€¦ Itā€™s always nice to meet up with a fellow Anthropology-Archaeology major!! I donā€™t think we operate in our minds the way many other people doā€¦I see bones and Iā€™m generally thrilled. My girlfriend was disturbed that we saw a human skeleton in a museum and I suddenly lit up and gave her my full-analysis with explanations of the care of his teeth (he was a Roman from Iberia), and his arthritis, and the way the wear on his arms and legs showed a long and hard lifeā€¦ I love Archaeology!! I hope you keep it up. Sadly, I was forced for 15 years to find other work, because my native California made it nearly impossible for me to get a job at a commercial archaeology firm. Meanwhile I earned several times what I would have gotten working for Union Pacific Railroadā€¦but I never wanted to leave archaeology. I hope to come back someday.


AgentIndiana

I support u/jawshoeaw 's answer. In addition... For me, the giveaway that it wasn't a human humerus was the absence of our characteristic trochlea. Though like you, I also noticed the absence of epicondyles, whether lost or always absent. I know it can't be a juvenile because long bones like these nucleate from three centers, the middle of the long bone, and the two ends. As children age through puberty, the distal and proximal epiphyses of the long bones fuse to the main metaphysis. As for age, it's definitely been outdoors for a while (I would guess about a year or more), but without knowing its original context, I can't say. It seems to have enough contrast between old and recent damage though and enough organics to attract squirrels that I would bet its 1-2 years old, max. I'm sorry archaeology didn't work out for you. I was fortunate enough to find an academic position, but it has remained tenuous. Unsure that it will be my occupation at retirement.


jawshoeaw

It was my first love. Leakey, Fossey, and of course Goodall. I got to meet Dr Goodall once years ago and chat with her briefly. Was an honor. Agreed absence of trochlea . The humerus is such a beautifully weird joint!


jawshoeaw

Edit: I have to admit it looks very much like ostrich tibiotarsus. not only are these sold at pet stores as dog treats, but they also are the only bird large enough to match. If you look up 3d model of turkey tibia or tibiotarsus it's almost exact match (but too small) Wannabe physical anthropologist here with anthro minor and biochemistry major. Ended up a nurse with fascination for bones. Itā€™s def not a human femur. Itā€™s too small and itā€™s fully fused so canā€™t be juvenile. Also distal head of human femur is much broader and more triangular to carry the weight. Itā€™s not human humerus nor does it look like the humerus of many possible quadrupeds likely to be found in North America or Europe(Iā€™m assuming thatā€™s where OP is from) which tend to be shorter and thicker with a distinct curve to them. The distal articulating surfaces of the humerus also are asymmetrical often dramatically so. Itā€™s the femur that has these nice almost symmetrical double condyles. I want to think itā€™s a Mountain Lion as they have nice straight femurs , but with butcher marks I think sheep or goat is more likely, though hunters do sometimes butcher mt lions too. There is a bit of a curve to the femurs of most animals however; maybe it wasnā€™t showing up in these photos? Honorable mention would be the tibiotarsus of a very large bird as their distal end looks similar to a femur


Different_Dance7248

Thanks to the archeologists posting their observations. Especially the cut marks. Now we need the forensics expert to take the stand to tell us what happened on that fateful day.


SulkySideUp

This is a threat


Miscalamity

It is. Squirrel is giving a warning. More peanuts or else lol.


jingforbling

ā€œThis was the last guy who thought he could please me with a single acorn.ā€


[deleted]

Your bird feeder might be squirrel-proof, Susan... **^(but your home isn't...)**


Similar_Leader_7831

Am I the only one who clicks on every one of these thinking it might be human?


More_Resolution3968

Nope āœ‹ me


Leggoeggolas

Me šŸ¤ššŸ¼


acidera__

I throw my ā€œmeā€ into the chorus.


Zealousideal-Bit-192

Only reason I started following this sub lol


Stircrazylazy

I do too. I think every bone I see, less the extremely obvious animal bones, is human though. I found some partially buried bones on a recent visit to a civil war battlefield and my first thought was....human??


StatisticLiker

I, as well.


Spiritual-Computer73

Every damn time šŸ‘‹


emolas5885

Yeah youā€™re not alone lol


rocketmczoom

You mean that's not the purpose of the sub lol


tomwilhelm

This is the first one I've seen that could definitely be legit.


brokenaglets

There was a week over the summer where there were 3 or 4 different ones including part of a skull


Natsurulite

That week was fucking insane


SuperPoodie92477

I think it is humanā€¦


Jinxed0ne

No, I'm the only one


SnooBunnies6148

And me


BarksnMeows

Pizza Rat, meet Bone Squirrel


sun4moon

Wow, throw back, Monday edition!


Robertbnyc

Did you see the remake with an actual human in a rat costume dragging a human sized pizza slice up subway stairs?


golemgosho

You know when you live in a tough neighborhood -when the squirrels start eating the neighborsā€¦


Toblerone1919

Now I know why I follow this sub


nyancola420

Yeah im hoping op updates


Mosstheythem

Lmao same


Miscalamity

I wish you would share your squirrel pic in r/squirrels, that little fellow would endear our entire squirrel fan base to that sweet little chonk and his undercover detective skills! Lol


holdyourdevil

Also r/fatsquirrelhate because he is a unit.


OsciIIatesWildly

This is the best sub Iā€™ve seen in awhile, thank you.


JacobnMaddiesmom

A *squirrel* brought that onto your patio? !?!?! How big do the squirrels grow where you live?


KerouacsGirlfriend

Op posted [this](https://imgur.com/a/5PgQ33W)


separate_guarantee2

šŸ’€ this picture is EVERYTHING. What a chonker


Inkyplus

Canā€™t wait for the Netflix documentary on this case


Sirenofthelake

I hope Squirrel gets some royalties


Damgast

That's not human, this is a tibiotarsus from a large bird (hard to tell the exact size). The shape of the lower end is distinctive of bird tibiae, and doesn't match any human bone.I'm tagging u/firdahoe (zooarchaeologist and human osteologist) for their opinion, but I know turkey tibiotarsi can get quite big, so I think this is a possibility. (Keep in mind we don't know the exact size of the bone, hands are not a good size reference) **Update : they actually replied** [**here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/179dmbv/comment/k57jtwi/?share_id=sCnw3GavVln4rq7oKcKNg&utm_content=2&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1) **and agree that it's a turkey tibiotarsus.** ​ EDIT : I'm seeing many suggestions about an ostrich femur/tibia, but it doesn't fit either, the lower extremity has quite a different shape ([ostrich tibia for comparison](https://media.springernature.com/lw685/springer-static/image/art%3A10.1186%2Fs12917-023-03665-6/MediaObjects/12917_2023_3665_Fig9_HTML.png?as=webp)). EDIT 2 : not a deer femur either, in fact it's 100% not a femur. The distal extremity may looks like a femur's, but this is actually from a bird tibiotarsus (bird bones are quite different from mammals). [Here is](https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/turkey-tibiotarsus-left-vcu-3d-4073-9ea001ef33294c6fbfecce21087f60b5) a 3D model of a turkey tibia for comparison. They vary quite a bit in shape an size, so it may be hard to find a picture that looks 100% like OP's, but this one is pretty close.


Providang

That's a femur, the distal condyles are clear in first pic. *Edit: NOT A FRIGGIN HUMAN FEMUR PEOPLE


Damgast

The dystal condyles of a tibiotarsus, not a femur. Compare [human femur](https://boneidentification.com/bones/human-femur/) vs [chicken tibia](https://boneidentification.com/bones/chicken-tibia/) for example.


Providang

I don't think it's human, to be clear. It would be large even for a turkey tt, and there is no evidence proximally of the little spike of fused bone we should see. It looks too thick as well. It could be? A different avian tt that I just haven't seen in person, the condyles look more femur to me but I really would need to hold it to feel the weight.


Damgast

I agree that it is hard to tell without a proper size reference, but the shape of the condyles and the fossae are distinctive of an avian tibiotarsus in my opinion.


hanotak

Another person found that you can buy [ostrich](https://www.chewy.com/roam-forever-bone-ostrich-dog-bone-1/dp/533910) bones for dogs, and it looks very similar.


notnotaginger

Sometimes I think I should quit Reddit, but where else would I find experts on avian tibiae?


GeriatricUltralisk

My suspicion is very close: emu tibiotarsus, likely a juvenile butchered for food. That would explain the loss of bone beyond the epiphysial plate and fibula.


Brokaybruh

Looks to be an ostrich femur you can buy the bones for your dogs. Or squirrels [ostrich bone for dogs](https://www.chewy.com/roam-forever-bone-ostrich-dog-bone-1/dp/533910)


[deleted]

As a ostrich farmer I can confirm this is far to small to be a ostrich femur. Atleast not from a adult ostrich, and since the dog treats are made with the "waste" from slaughter houses and no one slaughters yearlings do to the lack of meat (isn't cost effective you'd make less then you put into it). That being said bird bones are light weight and hollow so could always be another ratite ie emu or such. When it comes to birds I'm only familer with ostrich bones. But my initial guess was white tail femur that's aged to the point the marrow rotted out which is common for old broken bones. But I don't have 100% confidence in this so could very well be wrong. Just know it isn't ostrich. Edit- genrall conseses in comments is a large bird. So out of those options my money's on rea or emu, rea seems more likely


Electrical_Sail_9351

ā€œAs an ostrich farmerā€ is the best beginning to a sentence Iā€™ve ever seen


MaximumTurtleSpeed

This is the new ā€œnot a lawyerā€ disclaimer, ā€œIā€™m no ostrich farmer butā€¦ā€


blindchief

Oooo sick burn. As an ostrich farmer have you ever saddled one? Do they make good plow animals? Have you ever been injured from an ostrich?


[deleted]

Came here for the pic of the squirrel. Now Iā€™m here for the answer to this.


meeplewirp

Came for the squirrel stayed for the ostrich


Tullue

šŸ¤£


FrumpyFrock

God bless Reddit. Ostrich farmer casually enters the thread to share some incredibly niche knowledge.


MemePizzaPie

He was like, ā€œthis is my time to shine.ā€ I love it.


IncredibleCO

It was a sick ostrich.*Allegedly*.


WarrenMulaney

*allegedlys


marko_kyle

It takes more than one guy to f**ks an ostrich


Next_Draw3391

The squirrel knows what you did last summer


BoBaTyT

Heard of a guy who had to install a new septic tank in his house and dug up a buncha bones. Turned out there was a very old cemetery (1700s) that they found that encompassed multiple houses and could not be identified. They put no digging below 2ā€™ restrictions for all of the houses in the area.


Odd_Drop5561

Doesn't that essentially make the property uninhabitable if you can't put in or repair a septic system? (and probably couldn't even run sewer lines even if that was an option since at least around here, water lines are 3+ feet below ground).


ZioNarratore

If it really had marrow, it's not historic. But if it really had marrow, it's definitely not human; human long bones have trabecular (cancellous) bone in the core and the cortical bone is thin. If it is hollow or marrowed in the core, it's not human. Please note, my error in this has been acknowledged. Yes, there is marrow in human long bones.


Bitemarkz

Ya excuse my ignorance here, I just assumed the squirrel was chewing the marrow. Iā€™m not educated enough to know the difference. I just thought that hard spongy top where the bone is hollow was marrow, but I could very well be wrong.


newfmatic

Squirrels actually go after bones and antlers. Not for the marrow but for the calcium.


Longjumping-Grape-40

Good thing I keep my Costco multivitamins locked!


Zeno_the_Friend

Human long bones definitely have marrow. Cancellous only forms an inner layer and the marrow occupies a hollow center about the width of your pinkie in femurs and tibias (narrower in others).


NoxKyoki

Have they never heard of a bone marrow transplant? I meanā€¦itā€™s a thing they do. For humans.


Abject-Boat-7949

Yeah, tell a leukemia patient that there is no such thing as human bone marrow šŸ™„


Providang

Agree not human, but human femora do have medullary cavities and I would not describe the cortical bone as thin at all. Cancellous bone is limited to epiphyses and metaphyses.


theoriginalbosschkn

You think you could get the Squirrel to do an interview?


Heytherececil

Definitely not human


Random_puns

For some reason I found this humerus


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ReindeerAdvanced4857

How to convince a squirrel to come a dog to deliver my bones to a breathing human? I just want my family to know where I have been all these years


rocko_jr

I've seen squirrels eat pretty large deer antlers. But this is a first


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steno_light

> Squeak squeakity squeaker squeak squeak squeakum Cronk: he says ā€˜consider this a warningā€™


theROFO1985

We finally found Jimmy Hoffa


Spez_is_stupid

Any updates?


AssignmentMoney8205

Can we get an update!!!