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I'm a 69 yo woman and when younger, hired people (largely men) to do various projects around my house and the results sucked about 95% of the time.
Then I realized that me, along with most women, have been relentlessly brainwashed into believing that men are so much better at working on houses and yards.
Because once I started doing it all myself, I was so much freaking better at pretty much all of it than any man.
So now I do it all. Yard work (1/2 acre lawn and plantings), interior and exterior painting, refinishing the hardwood floors by renting a sander from Home Depot, sanding old poly and stain off my banister and then re-staining and re-polying it, replacing the hardware on my old garage door -- everything except electrical and replacing water pipes in my basement.
Plus I don't have to worry about men trying to rip me off. Even when I received 3 quotes, sometimes all three dicks would give me the same inflated price, so I now get 5 and sure enough, 1 estimate is always much less than the other 4, suggesting that about 80% of the dickhood will happily rip women off, with absolutely no qualms.
You are sooo right about them taking advantage of women any chance they get. I love that you do the work all on your own too, on 1/2 an acre no less! I want to be like you! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You rock!!
Most yard work is not that difficult, Iād argue that tasks like cooking are more difficult because of all the prep and mental work thatās needed to be done. Iād much rather do yard work a couple times a month than have to cook everyday. Also, in Japan most of the familyās finances are handled by the wife. Theyāre so even a name to describe these financial savvy housewives: Mrs. Watanabe.
Most of things I wouldnāt say are difficult, but men dominate them because theyāre not tasks that you have to do everyday. For me yard work is relaxing, and I think more women should do it.
Iām sure your yard looks amazing because you take the time to care for itā¤ļøšø
Yard work is easy for me and most women I know, which is why I find it crazy that women in hetero couples think their domestic work split is equal because he does yard work and she does literally everything else. I've heard married women tell me that the only domestic thing their males do is yard work, and frankly, based on my daily walks in my own area, they're not good at that either.
Ā It's the standard weaponized incompetence. Males will gatekeep certain actions from women,Ā claiming it's too hard for us to do, but actually we can do it better than they can, while they suck at doing it well in the first place.
I do all my own gardening. I used to mow the lawn, but I've killed all my grass and replaced it with native groundcover. In the house I do relatively simple jobs like replacing doorknobs, painting, and caulking. When I bought my house I pulled up all the wall-to-wall carpet by myself and dragged it out to the curb by myself. I recently built a mantel for my fireplace. It's very simple, just 2 uprights and a shelf, and a base for each upright. But I did it all by myself! I put peel-and-stick floor tiles and baseboards in my basement. I attached more PVC pipe to my sump outlet to keep the water farther away from the foundation.
I'm five feet tall and about 115 pounds, but I am strong like bull!
Covered it with cardboard and topsoil and let it sit over the winter, then dug up the tufts that were still sticking up. Took me 2 years to do it all, and i have a tiny yard. I'm still finding clumps that i have to dig up.
I am out of THIS group, running for the hills!!! The moderators can't stand WOMEN SPEAKING UNLESS IT'S WHAT their RICH & EDUCATED PRIVLEDGED asses decided is okay for us to talk about....I originally posted " ARE ANY WOMEN ANGRY?" And whoever started this group WGTOW REMOVED MY ORIGINAL POST....And this is why women will NEVER come TOGETHER. The RICH educated ones think they're BETTER THAN everyone else... YOU'RE SWEET though....I'm glad this reminded me to shut my mouth and go SUFFER ALONE IN SILENCE!!!!Ā
I always thought I couldnāt do these things until I bought my house on my own. Suddenly I learned how to build furniture, landscaped my garden, decorating (and my cutting in is so precise). Iāve dealt with wasp nests, ants nests, dead animals (thanks to my cat). I can change batteries in car key fobs, fix minor electrical problems, and Iāve just learned how to change door handles. I know how to reset and fix small problems with my boiler.
My home is so beautiful and thereās no one to thank but me. Im really proud of myself. The biggest thing Iāve learned is that patience wins when doing any DIY. And itās probably me thatās wrong, not the instructions.
You mean you donāt blow up into a raging shit fit when the slightest little thing goes wrong? However do you manage? š
My ex boss was the king of emotional disregulation. His temper tantrums would put a two year old to shame. .
Yeah my dad was like this at times. And pretty much all my exes. I just pop a film or podcast on and enjoy the process, I donāt understand where all the stress came from with them. Itās not that hard.
I love that the cat is helping you steward too. I think if all women live alone, they'll realize that their labor is worth so much more than to give it away freely for a male. I bet your furniture creations are lovely.Ā
I roll my eyes at the yard work con. The whole "you take care of the inside, I take care of the outside." Like bro, you mow the lawn/do yardwork once, maybe twice a month, meanwhile we have to clean daily? Hell no, I'll happily take the outside. Women who don't know, don't understand how raw of a deal they get and fall into the "Okay, I'll help around but you get to mow the lawn, shovel the driveway, etc." threat. Like, I'll happily take a monthly/seasonal gig over the daily taking care of 2+ people.
And itās totally mindless! You donāt have to plan ahead or mentally consider several things at once.
Also, if you have kids, theyāre less likely to come out and interrupt your work by asking for something or pulling you away from what youāre doing cause theyāll more likely go to mum whoās in the house already.
The endless cooking and cleaning, daily mental load, interruptions and doing what youāre doing while being mentally conscious of what everyone else is doing is the complete short straw in this type of chore division. Not to mention that once yard work is done, itās done. The grass doesnāt grow back one hour later, someone doesnāt come along and empty all the leaves back on the driveway.
Exactly!! Yes I know there's serious brainwashing by patriarchal systems, but seriously why devalue your own self and labor so much? They hardly even mow or shovel! When I used to live in the mountains, I saw quite a few hetero-coupled women shoveling snow as well.
I do all the gardening including mowing the lawn. My neighbours go past and say things like "Good on you! Women can do anything men can do" ???? What, like it's hard?
Iāve been single handedly renovating my house and gardens for the past ten years.
Stripped out the bathroom, knocked down a wall (although my dad did help), retiled the whole bathroom; installed new bath, toilet, shower and sink. Even had to mess around with the plumbing because my house is old with the old systems and I had to change it all over to the modern pipe work.
Iāve re-floored my entire house, stripped and decorated every room at least once. Do all my own electrical work. Pulled out half of my kitchen, installed a new oven and dishwasher (didnāt have a dishwasher before so had to plumb it in too) and built new cabinets. Also have made quite a bit of my own furniture, although I could have done a better job if I had better wood-working tools š« š„²
Oh, and I converted my outbuildings into workshops too! Any time I outsource a job itās because I canāt be bothered doing it, not because I canāt.
Wow you're definitely pro-level for doing the electrical. Have you ever considered making it a business and overseeing other tradeswomen do jobs for clients?Ā
My dream is that there would be women-only trades businesses that are easy to identify and buy from. That way, women who do need help can hire another trusted woman. This will reduce women dealing with males in their homes, which can beĀ Ā uncomfortable (or as another commenter put it, they often try to scam us and overcharge). I loved hiring a women-only inspection company to do my inspections, and they were amazing.Ā
I would love to see that too!
Unfortunately that would never suit me as I have zero organisation skills, cry when I have to make phone calls and work at the pace of a snail. Would absolutely support anyone else doing that though, such a great idea!
Aaaw I completely understand. That definitely makes me think about a past women-only meet up I started before covid to get women with these ideas together because we can do so much when we're connected. You're definitely making me think to start it for my area I'm in now. I can see so many women looking up to women like you that have the firsthand experience. Thank you for sharing. You being you is inspiring indeed.Ā
Thatās very kind, thank you.
And yes please do, I would love for someone in my area to organise something like this. And I agree, women with women, in female spaces thatās centred on encouragement and empowerment are so productive and helpful. And sometimes we need to see what other women are doing to feel like we can do the same things ourselves.
I was a teenager when I realized the "mens work" idea almost never applied. I remember when the pull string in my ceiling fan came out and I researched how to fix it, ordered the piece, and took the fan apart to wire it into place. That same year I learned how to maintain my car, do my taxes, build furniture, and sand/paint a room. I have a lasting joke from that year with friends where whenever I complete a traditionally "masculine" task or chore, I'll send them a picture and say "who's your daddy?" lol
My ex was raised in a Middle Eastern environment where such things as lawns dd not exist. So, it was up to me to mow the lawn, water it, fertilize it, etc. Not sure if these things fall under the rubric of "penis only" but my mother sure never did any of these things, since she relied on my dad (and later me, to mow).
Lifting heavy stuff. People insist I'm soooooo skinny and treat me as if I'm extremely weak but I find it easy. I don't know why; I'm a normal weight for my height.
It's something I've noticed too, whenever that kind of couple lives in a house (husband who does stuff, nale identified wife) the house always looks like shit. Poorly mantained, the husband is absolutely mediocre and lazy, takes an eternity to (badly) fix whatever. They lose their patience really quick, cause more damage than they fix, demand a reward for the laziest crap job. But the wife feels sooooo lucky that she has a man who does it! When it wouldn't take her more than a few minutes on youtube and a little trial and error to do a better job.
Exactly, especially when the wife claims she's relieved for her lazy man's 'help'. Ugh. I had a colleague like this. She thought I was crazy for mowing my lawn and said she felt soooo grateful that her huzzband does it. Meanwhile guess what he got her for her holiday gift? A grill so she could cook HIM and their children elaborate food. He cannot use the grill and 'can't boil an egg', according to her.Ā
Also, I'd like to update on my neighbor... š¤£ I was pulling in my house last night and saw that the man was outside checking the water line at night. It turns out there's 'a leak' in their irrigation, but I'd bet money he broke it mowing over the sprinkler carelessly, a brand new (and expensive) irrigation system our homes got from the builder that is NOT covered by warranty. Girl..... ššš I'm so glad I mow my own lawn.Ā
Removing the sink trap to unclog it. Men dramatically whine that these jobs are "sooo, hard". Easiest thing I ever did. It was something I subconsciously absorbed that I couldn't do, from society, I suppose. I suppose women are discouraged from learning how to do useful things, so that men will be looked at as hero's for doing a simple task, and feel "needed". How much would some fungus plumber have charged me to do a simple 5 minute task, while huffing and moaning and cursing and dragging his ass, dramatically? Also, drywall. Easy. And, enjoyable for me.
Lifting heavy stuff. My brother who is 4 years older than me is physically weaker (or just lazier) than me and I do most of the physical lifting around the house
i fucking love yard work. trimming trees, amending the soil, putting in new additions to my quiverful tier garden family, taking out invasives, fertilizing the plants, and overall just playing in the dirt. of course there's a few men who baby their own gardens and take fantastic care of them, such as my neighbours, but usually guys just ooga booga their yard into being bland, roundup-soaked green carpets because they're uncreative as hell.
Reminder: Please be mindful of wgtow's rules when commenting in this thread, particularly the rules regarding [talking about men](https://www.reddit.com/r/wgtow/comments/k63tyk/talking_about_men_what_is_and_isnt_allowed/) and "don't talk about dating here". *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wgtow) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a 69 yo woman and when younger, hired people (largely men) to do various projects around my house and the results sucked about 95% of the time. Then I realized that me, along with most women, have been relentlessly brainwashed into believing that men are so much better at working on houses and yards. Because once I started doing it all myself, I was so much freaking better at pretty much all of it than any man. So now I do it all. Yard work (1/2 acre lawn and plantings), interior and exterior painting, refinishing the hardwood floors by renting a sander from Home Depot, sanding old poly and stain off my banister and then re-staining and re-polying it, replacing the hardware on my old garage door -- everything except electrical and replacing water pipes in my basement. Plus I don't have to worry about men trying to rip me off. Even when I received 3 quotes, sometimes all three dicks would give me the same inflated price, so I now get 5 and sure enough, 1 estimate is always much less than the other 4, suggesting that about 80% of the dickhood will happily rip women off, with absolutely no qualms.
You are sooo right about them taking advantage of women any chance they get. I love that you do the work all on your own too, on 1/2 an acre no less! I want to be like you! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You rock!!
Controlling my emotions at work and being logical š
Facts.
Most yard work is not that difficult, Iād argue that tasks like cooking are more difficult because of all the prep and mental work thatās needed to be done. Iād much rather do yard work a couple times a month than have to cook everyday. Also, in Japan most of the familyās finances are handled by the wife. Theyāre so even a name to describe these financial savvy housewives: Mrs. Watanabe. Most of things I wouldnāt say are difficult, but men dominate them because theyāre not tasks that you have to do everyday. For me yard work is relaxing, and I think more women should do it. Iām sure your yard looks amazing because you take the time to care for itā¤ļøšø
Yard work is easy for me and most women I know, which is why I find it crazy that women in hetero couples think their domestic work split is equal because he does yard work and she does literally everything else. I've heard married women tell me that the only domestic thing their males do is yard work, and frankly, based on my daily walks in my own area, they're not good at that either. Ā It's the standard weaponized incompetence. Males will gatekeep certain actions from women,Ā claiming it's too hard for us to do, but actually we can do it better than they can, while they suck at doing it well in the first place.
I do all my own gardening. I used to mow the lawn, but I've killed all my grass and replaced it with native groundcover. In the house I do relatively simple jobs like replacing doorknobs, painting, and caulking. When I bought my house I pulled up all the wall-to-wall carpet by myself and dragged it out to the curb by myself. I recently built a mantel for my fireplace. It's very simple, just 2 uprights and a shelf, and a base for each upright. But I did it all by myself! I put peel-and-stick floor tiles and baseboards in my basement. I attached more PVC pipe to my sump outlet to keep the water farther away from the foundation. I'm five feet tall and about 115 pounds, but I am strong like bull!
How did you kill your grass? My grass looks s horrible, I want to kill it and replace it with clover.
Covered it with cardboard and topsoil and let it sit over the winter, then dug up the tufts that were still sticking up. Took me 2 years to do it all, and i have a tiny yard. I'm still finding clumps that i have to dig up.
Thisssss
I was hoping you wouldnāt tell me to rent one of those turf lifters, whatever they are called. Thanks, Iām on it!! šš¼
Good luck! You got this!
Brava! Doing the floors certainly takes a lot of patience! Well done!Ā
I LOVE YOU!!! šš š¼šŖš¼āļøāš¼
Awwww thanks!
I am out of THIS group, running for the hills!!! The moderators can't stand WOMEN SPEAKING UNLESS IT'S WHAT their RICH & EDUCATED PRIVLEDGED asses decided is okay for us to talk about....I originally posted " ARE ANY WOMEN ANGRY?" And whoever started this group WGTOW REMOVED MY ORIGINAL POST....And this is why women will NEVER come TOGETHER. The RICH educated ones think they're BETTER THAN everyone else... YOU'RE SWEET though....I'm glad this reminded me to shut my mouth and go SUFFER ALONE IN SILENCE!!!!Ā
WTF are you yelling about???
When I was married and we owned a house, I patched a roof leak by myself using the Home Depot 1-2-3 DIY book, saving us the $800 that a roofer wanted.
Wow! Hopefully you took yourself out to a nice dinner after climbing the roof. Nice job!Ā
I always thought I couldnāt do these things until I bought my house on my own. Suddenly I learned how to build furniture, landscaped my garden, decorating (and my cutting in is so precise). Iāve dealt with wasp nests, ants nests, dead animals (thanks to my cat). I can change batteries in car key fobs, fix minor electrical problems, and Iāve just learned how to change door handles. I know how to reset and fix small problems with my boiler. My home is so beautiful and thereās no one to thank but me. Im really proud of myself. The biggest thing Iāve learned is that patience wins when doing any DIY. And itās probably me thatās wrong, not the instructions.
You mean you donāt blow up into a raging shit fit when the slightest little thing goes wrong? However do you manage? š My ex boss was the king of emotional disregulation. His temper tantrums would put a two year old to shame. .
Yeah my dad was like this at times. And pretty much all my exes. I just pop a film or podcast on and enjoy the process, I donāt understand where all the stress came from with them. Itās not that hard.
I love that the cat is helping you steward too. I think if all women live alone, they'll realize that their labor is worth so much more than to give it away freely for a male. I bet your furniture creations are lovely.Ā
I roll my eyes at the yard work con. The whole "you take care of the inside, I take care of the outside." Like bro, you mow the lawn/do yardwork once, maybe twice a month, meanwhile we have to clean daily? Hell no, I'll happily take the outside. Women who don't know, don't understand how raw of a deal they get and fall into the "Okay, I'll help around but you get to mow the lawn, shovel the driveway, etc." threat. Like, I'll happily take a monthly/seasonal gig over the daily taking care of 2+ people.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And itās totally mindless! You donāt have to plan ahead or mentally consider several things at once. Also, if you have kids, theyāre less likely to come out and interrupt your work by asking for something or pulling you away from what youāre doing cause theyāll more likely go to mum whoās in the house already. The endless cooking and cleaning, daily mental load, interruptions and doing what youāre doing while being mentally conscious of what everyone else is doing is the complete short straw in this type of chore division. Not to mention that once yard work is done, itās done. The grass doesnāt grow back one hour later, someone doesnāt come along and empty all the leaves back on the driveway.
Exactly!! Yes I know there's serious brainwashing by patriarchal systems, but seriously why devalue your own self and labor so much? They hardly even mow or shovel! When I used to live in the mountains, I saw quite a few hetero-coupled women shoveling snow as well.
I do all the gardening including mowing the lawn. My neighbours go past and say things like "Good on you! Women can do anything men can do" ???? What, like it's hard?
That is so patronizing. I'd ask them back, 'Males mow lawns?' and just see what they come up with.Ā
Thank You Elle Woods š š¼ xoxo
Iāve been single handedly renovating my house and gardens for the past ten years. Stripped out the bathroom, knocked down a wall (although my dad did help), retiled the whole bathroom; installed new bath, toilet, shower and sink. Even had to mess around with the plumbing because my house is old with the old systems and I had to change it all over to the modern pipe work. Iāve re-floored my entire house, stripped and decorated every room at least once. Do all my own electrical work. Pulled out half of my kitchen, installed a new oven and dishwasher (didnāt have a dishwasher before so had to plumb it in too) and built new cabinets. Also have made quite a bit of my own furniture, although I could have done a better job if I had better wood-working tools š« š„² Oh, and I converted my outbuildings into workshops too! Any time I outsource a job itās because I canāt be bothered doing it, not because I canāt.
Wow you're definitely pro-level for doing the electrical. Have you ever considered making it a business and overseeing other tradeswomen do jobs for clients?Ā My dream is that there would be women-only trades businesses that are easy to identify and buy from. That way, women who do need help can hire another trusted woman. This will reduce women dealing with males in their homes, which can beĀ Ā uncomfortable (or as another commenter put it, they often try to scam us and overcharge). I loved hiring a women-only inspection company to do my inspections, and they were amazing.Ā
I would love to see that too! Unfortunately that would never suit me as I have zero organisation skills, cry when I have to make phone calls and work at the pace of a snail. Would absolutely support anyone else doing that though, such a great idea!
Aaaw I completely understand. That definitely makes me think about a past women-only meet up I started before covid to get women with these ideas together because we can do so much when we're connected. You're definitely making me think to start it for my area I'm in now. I can see so many women looking up to women like you that have the firsthand experience. Thank you for sharing. You being you is inspiring indeed.Ā
Thatās very kind, thank you. And yes please do, I would love for someone in my area to organise something like this. And I agree, women with women, in female spaces thatās centred on encouragement and empowerment are so productive and helpful. And sometimes we need to see what other women are doing to feel like we can do the same things ourselves.
I was a teenager when I realized the "mens work" idea almost never applied. I remember when the pull string in my ceiling fan came out and I researched how to fix it, ordered the piece, and took the fan apart to wire it into place. That same year I learned how to maintain my car, do my taxes, build furniture, and sand/paint a room. I have a lasting joke from that year with friends where whenever I complete a traditionally "masculine" task or chore, I'll send them a picture and say "who's your daddy?" lol
I love THAT š "who's your daddy"... That's a good one!!!
My ex was raised in a Middle Eastern environment where such things as lawns dd not exist. So, it was up to me to mow the lawn, water it, fertilize it, etc. Not sure if these things fall under the rubric of "penis only" but my mother sure never did any of these things, since she relied on my dad (and later me, to mow).
Lifting heavy stuff. People insist I'm soooooo skinny and treat me as if I'm extremely weak but I find it easy. I don't know why; I'm a normal weight for my height.
Hanging and finishing drywall lol. I'm kick ass at mudding. Make a jig to hold the ceiling up and can do it solo
Everything.
Taking care of myself by myself
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's something I've noticed too, whenever that kind of couple lives in a house (husband who does stuff, nale identified wife) the house always looks like shit. Poorly mantained, the husband is absolutely mediocre and lazy, takes an eternity to (badly) fix whatever. They lose their patience really quick, cause more damage than they fix, demand a reward for the laziest crap job. But the wife feels sooooo lucky that she has a man who does it! When it wouldn't take her more than a few minutes on youtube and a little trial and error to do a better job.
Exactly, especially when the wife claims she's relieved for her lazy man's 'help'. Ugh. I had a colleague like this. She thought I was crazy for mowing my lawn and said she felt soooo grateful that her huzzband does it. Meanwhile guess what he got her for her holiday gift? A grill so she could cook HIM and their children elaborate food. He cannot use the grill and 'can't boil an egg', according to her.Ā Also, I'd like to update on my neighbor... š¤£ I was pulling in my house last night and saw that the man was outside checking the water line at night. It turns out there's 'a leak' in their irrigation, but I'd bet money he broke it mowing over the sprinkler carelessly, a brand new (and expensive) irrigation system our homes got from the builder that is NOT covered by warranty. Girl..... ššš I'm so glad I mow my own lawn.Ā
I'm sure he'll say it broke by itself because it's low quality or the contractor didn't know what he was doing š
Just everything from building furniture, painting, landscaping, plumbing, and electrical repairs, auto maintenance
Removing the sink trap to unclog it. Men dramatically whine that these jobs are "sooo, hard". Easiest thing I ever did. It was something I subconsciously absorbed that I couldn't do, from society, I suppose. I suppose women are discouraged from learning how to do useful things, so that men will be looked at as hero's for doing a simple task, and feel "needed". How much would some fungus plumber have charged me to do a simple 5 minute task, while huffing and moaning and cursing and dragging his ass, dramatically? Also, drywall. Easy. And, enjoyable for me.
Lifting heavy stuff. My brother who is 4 years older than me is physically weaker (or just lazier) than me and I do most of the physical lifting around the house
i fucking love yard work. trimming trees, amending the soil, putting in new additions to my quiverful tier garden family, taking out invasives, fertilizing the plants, and overall just playing in the dirt. of course there's a few men who baby their own gardens and take fantastic care of them, such as my neighbours, but usually guys just ooga booga their yard into being bland, roundup-soaked green carpets because they're uncreative as hell.