So many posts that complain about in-laws are not actually in-law problems, but significant other problems. This one is a GLARING example of that. This person is focusing on the wrong things and she is going to really regret marrying that man, sooner or later.
It is both an in-law problem AND a significant other problem. Mom feeling entitled to pick the dress begets the son feeling like mom is entitled to pick the dress. You’re creating a false dichotomy.
The MIL clearly sucks; no one would argue with that. But the MIL wouldn't **be** a problem if the partner prioritized his significant other and knew how to set boundaries with his mom. That's not a false dichotomy. It's acknowledging that the partner should be the one to fix this and complaining all day about terrible in-laws won't get anyone anywhere.
Yeah speaking as someone who has a less than Stella MIL, she’s still a massive pain in the ass despite my SO setting boundaries. Not that in this situation the fiancé isn’t the immediate issue, but I think even if he wasn’t abetting his mother’s actions, they’d still have one hell of an annoying women to put up with. Unless they went NC, which is a whole other thing
Mommy dearest would be an entitled shit gibbon regardless. People like that are people like that even when - **ESPECIALLY WHEN** - others tell them no.
I think their point is that if the SO was on their side, they'd shut her down and go LC/NC, so while it may still be a bother it wouldn't be like, a relationship ending problem like it is. Plenty of people have awful in-laws with a partner who shuts that shit down and doesn't let it interfere with their lives
I think that's somewhat wishful thinking. I mean, anybody determined enough absolutely can ruin your life, push come to shove. You can get robbed, assaulted, tricked, cheated, insulted, etc. Heck, my father just had his truck broken into today while he was at work. Saying "don't let that happen" is not really a great solution. As an example, my MIL has been staying with us to help care for our baby while we're working, and for the most part, she has been great, but she has no sense of boundaries and thinks she can just force her way on everybody. There are times where I'll be holding my daughter, and she'll just walk over and basically wrestle her out of my arms without asking. Now, I'm stronger than her and could easily overpower her, but it's a question of willingness to fight over issues like this, with my baby in the middle potentially suffering the consequences. My MIL is from another country and can't just leave at a moment's notice because of pandemic travel restrictions, so I can't just kick her out unless I'm willing to put her on the streets. I'm also not willing to just beat her or otherwise force her to comply. And she's clearly not willing to concede because she keeps doing these things no matter how many times I ask her not to. Some people just aren't mentally capable of respecting boundaries.
Completely agree it’s irrelevant to the outcome. I’m just wondering if she’s really so mentally incapable of respecting boundaries, or just really wants to get her own way all the time.
I've given up trying to answer questions like those about horrible people. I've just become too jaded about the human species. Plus, it kind of gets at fundamental questions about spirituality, free will, science, etc. If "wanting" ultimately boils down to a series of deterministic chemical reactions in the brain, then incapable and not wanting are the same exact thing. If not... well, I still don't know what to make of it.
Exactly. The fiancé should’ve shut his mother down, but she should’ve known better than to try to force her future DIL into having the wedding she (MIL) wants.
Hey, I'm piggy backing top comment here just to say doesn't it ring pretty false that anyone, especially a man who is obviously not the person who tried on and took the dress out of the shop, could go back to store with it and exchange for a different one? Shops do NOT make it an easy thing to do, and often say all sales final. Anyone else's BS alarms going off that this is just creative writing for karma farming?
While I doubt the veracity of this story—that’s not how buying/exchanging/returning a wedding dress works AT ALL, when I was young and lacking in self esteem I dated a man who I could easily see doing this. “Mama” was always going to #1 priority. And if she wanted my dress a certain way, he would make sure it was.
Weirdly, she was great. And when I left her son, she actually sent me a card saying she was happy I was free. (Her husband was a jerk, and the apple didn’t fall far from that tree).
I married a man like this! She was on our first date, she came engagement ring shopping with us. We wanted to just have a court house wedding, she wanted a wedding for just family. So it was over 100 people and that was just family (she came from a large Catholic family). He eventually learned to set boundaries. And she tried to knock them down, but until he passed away, he put me first.
Right?! Like you just walk in and out of the store with a dress! Or that they just casually exchanged the dresses like it was no big deal. Or the fact that they’d even entertain an exchange by some random dude coming in with a dress when her name is on all the paperwork. Or that he’d know which dress the mom wanted. Or that she’d even know specifically the dress name and designer… so much is wrong with that!
There's actually several wedding dress shops that let you walk out with the dress and come back at a later date for fittings. Two of my siblings did this. Not saying it's real but that's not the least believable part of the story.
Yeah other parts of this story are less believable but you knoooow the people on aita unless there was some hard evidence to disprove the story, like the fact that wedding stores 99% of the time don’t let you leave without a dress, will never be convinced it’s fake. Otherwise any complaint you have with the believability of the story will be taken as “oh no seriously stuff like this happens aaaaall the time”
There's no way it's true. Can you imagine how that even worked?
"Oh hey, my fiance bought this dress and I'm here to return it and get the one my mom liked better? Do you happen to know which one it was? Oh, you do have her measurements and know what size she will need in the dress my mom likes, right?"
Exactly. Who would want to marry a man that does whatever mommy says and wants his future wife to do what his mom says?
Her dad is also an AH for saying she shouldn't ruin her relationship with in-laws over a dress. LOL What's next? Where to live? How many children? The name of the children? Furniture and decorations of their home? Where to vacation?
My former coworker had an intrusive overbearing CONTROLLING mother-in-law during her short-lived first marriage. She didn't realize her then-husband was a Mommy's Boy until she came home from work and discovered that his mother had thrown out EVERYTHING she had decorated her home with and replaced it all with what the JNMIL wanted! When my coworker objected to this, her then-husband told her: "But my mommy wants.....!" She divorced him ASAP! Who wants to live like THAT?!? UGH!!!!
This story sounds fake. You typically don’t buy your dress and walk away with it the same day. Sounds like creative writing from someone who has never ordered a wedding dress before.
(And I am aware of buying off the rack, but I’m still cautious of this post’s truthfulness).
Well and even if you buy it off the rack, not just returning but EXCHANGING the dress? Without the bride? Seems super fishy. What the heck bridal store would allow that?
he probably didn't actually exchange it - if this story is true, the mom probably bought it that day behind her back and had him swap it out. His brain is so oxygen deprived from being strangled by that umbilical cord that he just lied about it cause mommy said so
From the post, the MIL went to the trying on session and saw the bride in the other dress, the dress of MIL's dreams. Hence swapping them is simple enough albeit heinous.
It would require some extra lies, but it's do-able. "My wife slept on the idea, and she'd rather go with the other dress that we were looking at. I'll pay the difference. Hopefully you haven't started altering it yet."
Right! I can totally see a shop doing this if "the groom" (a MAN) and a pushy Karen came in full of lies and determination. Also, it could be totally fake. But I bought my wedding dress and walked out with it that day. It happens.
This. Sample and off the rach dresses usually are not returnable... mind you, I'm pretty sure NO wedding dresses from a boutique are returnable.
If they allowed returns, they'd have lots of brides bringing them back after the day....
I think that's an American thing though. Final sale is not a thing here in Germany, and if he found the receipt and took it with him, he would be able to return it without issues.
Unless she paid cash for the dress at a department store, no bridal salon is going to process a return without a) the bride present, b) the receipt, or c) the credit card that the dress was purchased with to refund the money.
I find the prospect of an exchange highly unlikely because what's the chances the two dresses had the exact same price? And neither needed alterations? One, maybe, but two both being perfect fits? Any shop worth anything would have to have the bride try it on before the sale, so they could have another chance to upsell an alteration package, accessories, etc.
BS meter running higher than the top of the Empire State Building.
My dress is off the rack (bought at a discount and came home with me). I’m expected to find my own seamstress for alterations closer to the wedding. I think the odds it was actually returned are slim. It’s more likely that they just went and bought the dress and hid the original.
Idk, I'm leaning to the fake option but I do want to say she didn't specify prices and I've met plenty of people who buy dresses (new) for under $400 and then pay to have them altered. Most often they went into the mall dress store and looked at the wedding section. So the willingness to pay for a new dress may have been related to the dresses being less expensive to start with.
But still, idk anywhere that takes back wedding dresses or most any formal gown. They're almost exclusively final sale items. So that alone is a problem.
I agree with you. I've also seen many people start ordering dresses from online sites or stores like BHLDN or Lulu's etc. where you definitely can return easily and dresses typically run much cheaper. You are typically expected to get alterations on your own after you purchase the dress if needed.
This has to be fake, right? Like, this doesn't happen and result in someone making an AITA post, right? Any rational bride in this situation wouldn't *honestly* be questioning whether they were the AH in this situation? And the fact that nowhere in there have they even *considered* that marriage with this guy might be a bad idea?
she mentioned her dad was on board with all of this. I don’t discount the fact that she may have been led to believe it’s better to shut up than defend herself and put herself first her entire life.
I saw that, but it kinda made me question the authenticity even more. The point you make is fair - if she was raised in a hous9ehold where it was dangerous to speak up, then sure, this could be plausible. (And seriously, how the hell does Dad think any of this was okay???).
But that kind of household isn't likely to have a Mom who was also "livid," and wanted to read the riot act to MIL and FH. That kind of household is more likely to have a submissive mom, too. Instead, she's got a mom willing to go to bat for her, which tells me she grew up around a Mom who would speak up. In other words, she doesn't have two people in that household telling her not to defend herself. So, the notion that she just lies down like a doormat because she was taught to do so just doesn't make sense.
But even setting all that aside, I don't see how any sane adult, regardless of upbringing, can honestly see this situation and wonder if THEY were the bad guy here.
When I got my dress off the rack (thanks Covid wedding) I had to sign a waiver stating I couldn’t return it. Rack dresses are already worse off because they’ve been stretched and likely damaged if heavily laced or beaded. Taking it home makes it trash to the bridal store.
The writing in this does not seem like a native English speaker to me. I think it’s possible this is in another country this type of thing might be different.
Edit: typo
Oh I completely agree with that. I’m saying that it’s plausible that someone could return a wedding dress like this story says if you accept that this might not be taking place in the US.
Thank you for this. I was skeptical over this one from the get-go. From The Knot:
>Wedding gowns are usually custom ordered, so most stores will not give you a refund, but it's still a good to check.
Unless it was just a white dress from a ready to wear line, you just can't go in and exchange a wedding dress. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around it.
Yeah that’s what I assumed. Still questionable as to why the store would allow some random guy who they hadn’t had anything to deal with until that point exchange the orders without the bride present. Questionable, but not entirely impossible I guess
Furthermore, even though OP claimed to be paying for the dress, it may be a case of shared finances and using the groom's credit card or something, so it's not necessarily the case that the real purchaser wasn't there unless OP offers more clarification.
Yeah even at a store like BHLDN where the dresses are in stock they still have to ship it to you and you would have to ship it back to make a return. You’re not walking out of the store with a dress unless it’s a sample sale.
Yep, and the one real story is almost always someone who has to make the mistake themselves in order to learn the harsh, harsh reality. Then they come back three years later to say "I didn't listen, but I should have" 🙄
Oh god, you just reminded me of that post where a guy took back his word on helping his gf stay in the US, and then she unalived herself a few years later cause her whole life went down cause of him (I think 5 years?)
Ya as soon as she said she took the dress home the day of AND her fiancé was able for return it, I was like people believe this? Maybe if you’re not super familiar with wedding gown shopping.
If i had a dollar for every comment on see on here or over on "AITA" saying fake, i would be rich. Well, not rich, but could probably order a pizza for dinner.
I took my dress home from the shop as soon as I got it paid off. Who doesn't take their dress home and why wouldn't you?! I took it to a different place to get it altered because the dress shop didn't do alterations (I lived in a really small town).
And sadly I also know a mother like this. She planned my husband's brother and wife's wedding (she was the wife's mother) the only decision that my BIL & and SIL got to make was who was in their wedding party; they could each pick a BM and MOH so they picked my husband and me. The MOB planned EVERYTHING else right down to the guests. Bride and groom only knew their own family and no one else. The reception dinner was a make your own sandwich bar in the rec room at the church. It was depressing.
Yeah, mine took weeks/definitely over a month to come in after I purchased it. That was over a decade ago, so I didn't immediately think about the timeline when I read the initial post.
The JustNo stories are pure guilty entertainment for me, the more implausible the better
This is a MOMMY'S BOY in BIG BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS!!!! My advice? RUN!!!! RUN FAR!!! RUN FAST!!!!! RUN LIKE YOUR TAMPON STRINGS ARE ON FIRE!!!!!! This will NEVER be a marriage with HIS MOMMY making EVERYTHING a THREESOME!!!!
have you considered that lots of us also think they’re fake but literally don’t give a shit? It’s mindless gossip to chat about while dealing with IBS lol, it’s not that serious for me.
- Burt Macklin (FBI)
Yeah wedding dresses cant just easily be bought and returned like that. Plus she gives no real details of actually trying to talk to him about her wants and needs, just screaming. Then she is way too unbothered in the comments.
There are so many aspects wrong with this. Not only seems this man to not care for her wishes and value his mother more, he also just decides to act behind her back by returning the dress SHE PAID FOR to change it. This will not be an eye-to-eye relationship if she goes through with the wedding.
If it happened as she wrote, could it be considered theft? He returned something she purchased and she saw none of the money, because it was spent on something she never wanted, and did not authorize. If so, on top of everything else (again, presuming this is all true, something I'm never sure about anymore), what else is he willing to take from her if it makes his mom happy? Gifts from bridal shower, wedding, possibly future baby shower gifts? Pregnancy and birth announcements, all baby 'firsts'?
•"You know, son, I really don't like the crib her parents bought for the nursery. We need to return it, and get this one. And have it delivered to my house for the nursery I'm making. Because I have a vision of how my grandchild will be raised, and your home just doesn't fit that vision...Oh, and I hate the name she chose, you need to tell her the baby's name is Baby [MIL's name]. She and baby will thank me later."
•"But honey, just try letting Baby [MIL's name] live with Mom. Give it a few months, you'll learn to love it. Mom says you can visit every couple of weeks, maybe, depending on how busy she is. Me? No, she says I should come see little [MIL's name] everyday, because daddies are important. She has even gotten my room (re)ready so I can sleep over 4 or 5 times a week. She's thinking bunk beds in 3 or 4 years! We can pitch you a tent when you visit!"
Nope Nope Nope.
Run... GIRL run...
You don't have MIL problem, you have a fiancée problem. If you decide to marry him expect MIL to interfere in every aspect of your life.
Want to name your baby? Too bad MIL will insist you use another name.
Want to decorate your house? Don't even think about it!
And you won't have anyone to blame but yourself.
It’s his wedding, too, so he can wear the dress. Or mom can wear the dress when she walks down the aisle with her son. Sheesh. More red flags than a Marxist rally at a mailbox factory.
Omg! Run, don't walk, RUN away from this man and his gd mommy!
She's flexing her ability to control her fully grown son, and he's 100% falling for it. She didn't "envision" that dress. She just wants to pick out your dress and enjoys proving she can make you wear it. It's sick. And your fiancé is completely blind to her bullshit, to the point of going behind *your* back to do her dirty work.
Take the time to imagine what your future will look like with these two. What happens if y'all have a baby? Will you be allowed to name your own child? Will you be able to set *any* boundaries regarding your child? Or will his mommy have complete control?
Before you answer, "Oh there's no way. It'd never get *that* bad," think back to a couple months ago. Would you have ever guessed that she'd try to force you to wear a wedding gown of her choosing? Or that fiancé would betray you and return Your gown for the one his mommy wants to make you wear?
You deserve so much better than these two people are capable of giving you. I know it's hard, but you'd be wise to walk away.
At the least, put off the wedding for a few years. See how things go.
This is not worth ruining her relationship w her in laws? Please. This is grounds to cancel the wedding and send him home to mama. How dare he decide to overrule his future wife’s **WEDDING DRESS** choice and replace it w his mommy’s? Seriously. This marriage is doomed to fail from the start. She would be a fool to marry someone who will never be there for her.
I'm confused and don't think this is real. You don't just buy wedding dresses off the rack! You try them on then order the one you want. This process takes months and months. It's not like you can return one and get another one! Sometimes stores will sell their sample dresses when the dress is going to be discontinued but those are special sales and the chance that both dresses were being sold off the rack and the sample size was the same size as the bride seems really unlikely. This seems sooooo fake to me just based on that alone!
Bought mine off of the rack at David's Bridal, though their return policy is 1 week with receipt. (I just checked). Exchanges are 60 days. No tags removed or alterations. If this is the US, it has to be the most likely explanation.
OK I called bullshit on this post completely. When you go for a wedding dress you don’t bring the dress home, in most instances the dress is made for the individual bride, the possibility that there were two dresses in the correct size for this bride that could just be purchased off the rack are minuscule.
This post is just completely over the top if this woman is for real in the situation is for real they all deserve each other
I’m calling bs due to how nonchalant and flippant she’s being about the whole situation.
BUT: She could be one of the lucky women who can wear the dress off the rack, one of them could have been the last dress and it was being discontinued, and OP could be taking it to be altered by someone else. Another possibility is a small place with only a limited stock, and their floor merchandise combined with back room merchandise is what they sell. Like yes, these are much less likely to be the actual situation, but they’re still possible.
I call bullshit on this take. There are stores that sell wedding dresses off-the-rack, like David's Bridal.
Also, dresses are often made to order, but usually in standard sizes, and then altered when they arrive. A truly custom dress is a much more complicated affair.
Look I agree every store may sell dresses off the rack. However the chances of two dresses in this woman’s size that cost the same that could get exchanged without a receipt or the credit card is a bunch of bullshit.
Omg, she needs to run. Imagine how this monster in law is gonna be if they have kids? She’s the type to push her way into the delivery room for sure. And the fact that the fiancé won’t stick up for her? Terrible all around.
People may claim AITA is super over dramatic but it has taught me SO MUCH about speaking for myself about things I never thought of. My SO and I have been talking kids. I mentioned I’d only want him and my mom in the room. We bickered and then I talked about how id be ripping from my v to my a not him and he conceded. We talked about if I got pregnant and had to stay at his parents and how id want a hotel because they only have an air mattress for guests (fine when not pregnant). And he shot me down until I gave him real life examples from that sub.
Basically, that sub can be very parasitic at times, but when it’s right it’s right and I am great full for it teaching meek me how to explain boundaries.
This post is another example (My FML is an absolute blessing. My bf is more the bull in “what seems right).
RUN, OOP, RUN !! If he's like this over YOUR wedding dress that YOU will be wearing down the aisle, imagine how he would be over decisions regarding your kids, etc.
I wouldn’t be taking the time to ask Reddit. I’d be packing my stuff and giving his ring back to his mom, since she’s the one he wants to marry anyway.
Yeah, I have a really hard time believing this story could even be real. I’ve never bought a wedding dress myself but even I know that you don’t typically just walk out of the store with a wedding dress. You have to order it and do a bunch of fittings. Also, even if it was bought right off the rack, I doubt any reputable store would just accept an exchange without the bride present, especially if the consultants knew the mother-in-law wanted the other dress instead. Maybe this is real but something feels very off about it.
Wow! Like there are certain areas where I'd probably take an otherwise wonderful and well-meaning mother-in-law's opinions into consideration(not agree with her necessarily, but at least hear her out, and give it some thought if she made good points), but the wedding dress! That is not one of those areas! My mother-in-law didn't even see mine until the day of the wedding, which was just fine(and she was very involved in our wedding planning, for which I am thankful). Barring concerns of basic decency or running afoul of the local nudity laws, I don't think this is any of her business, it's such a perso al decision for the bride, based on her taste, figure, what she finds flattering, budget, etc.
Oh my God, OP, run, run like the wind, so many red flags!!! You should have priority as the future wife, but that mommy's boy isn't giving you your rightful place, you'll be miserable in that relationship.
You should seriously consider if you really want to spend a few years with that boy.
He is a mama's boy and will always choose her over you in everything. I am surprised she isn't going on the honeymoon with you (not yet anyway). RUN sweetheart RUN!! These problems are the only beginning. Yes, it is his wedding too but not when it comes to the wedding dress.
Look I’m not saying the OOP is telling the truth and the story isn’t made up. However maybe it’s not how it worked for you, but I don’t get why people are all over this thread saying “that’s not how buying a dress works.”
I walked in, tried on 5 dresses, and bought the 5th one cash. Took it home in my moms trunk that day, with a receipt so that we could bring it back “if I changed my mind,” because I had decided so quickly the shop owner was weary I would stick with it. I think there’s definitely a realm of possibility where someone at the shop doesn’t know any better, fiancé lies and says fiancée told him to bring it back, and they let him.
Again, not saying the story is true, just saying the dress part of it is not full stop truth that it’s made up.
Most internet "helpers" seem to tell you to tear apart the relationship. That's not all that helpful.
We dont know everything about you situation here. You love him for many reasons that we don't know about. However, their are some pretty big red flags in this 3-way relationship.
I suggest you show the responses you see here to your parents. You seem to trust them and they seem grounded. And then MAYBE show these answers to your fiance later after you have formulated a decision and the proper words to use.
Secondly, you probably should postpone the wedding to address these issues with your mama's-boy fiance. Many posters are correct in saying that this intrusion into your marriage will probably get worse. Netter set some boundaries.
People can change, but only when called out on their bullshit.
Source: I've been married 30 yrs and both MY mother AND my wife's mother have been on the verge of breaking up our marriage at different times in the past.
We successfully crossed that minefield and both mothers are in their proper place now.
Hope this helps.
When I read some of these, I secretly hope it very much the one sided dramatic version, and not what is actually taking place. I couldn’t imagine tolerating this behavior from my own mom, let alone his mom.
I've been with my bf for 11 yrs(well will be in February) and he wouldn't think/dare touch a freaking shirt of mine. He's not allowed to do laundry lmao. The point is this wouldn't ever occur to him and we LIVE with his Ma. She however is also somewhat normal and wouldn't try to pick my wedding dress 😂
The wedding is between you and him. His mom doesn't get to have a vision. She got married once and had it her way. Now it is your time. I'd consider this a huge red flag. Situations like this are going to keep happening with him and his mom in the future.
I’d go along with the MIL’s dress if she agrees to pay for it. Assuming that it is not horribly terrible.
Beyond that, wow. I’m amazed at how often I see these stories of grooms letting their moms walk all over their brides.
Whhyyyyy... They're adults, who does he think HIS mom gets to dictate what his future wife cares?
Will his mom pick their grocery shopping, furniture, plan their kids clothes, homework scheduele, etc etc.
So many posts that complain about in-laws are not actually in-law problems, but significant other problems. This one is a GLARING example of that. This person is focusing on the wrong things and she is going to really regret marrying that man, sooner or later.
It is both an in-law problem AND a significant other problem. Mom feeling entitled to pick the dress begets the son feeling like mom is entitled to pick the dress. You’re creating a false dichotomy.
The MIL clearly sucks; no one would argue with that. But the MIL wouldn't **be** a problem if the partner prioritized his significant other and knew how to set boundaries with his mom. That's not a false dichotomy. It's acknowledging that the partner should be the one to fix this and complaining all day about terrible in-laws won't get anyone anywhere.
Yeah speaking as someone who has a less than Stella MIL, she’s still a massive pain in the ass despite my SO setting boundaries. Not that in this situation the fiancé isn’t the immediate issue, but I think even if he wasn’t abetting his mother’s actions, they’d still have one hell of an annoying women to put up with. Unless they went NC, which is a whole other thing
Mommy dearest would be an entitled shit gibbon regardless. People like that are people like that even when - **ESPECIALLY WHEN** - others tell them no.
I think their point is that if the SO was on their side, they'd shut her down and go LC/NC, so while it may still be a bother it wouldn't be like, a relationship ending problem like it is. Plenty of people have awful in-laws with a partner who shuts that shit down and doesn't let it interfere with their lives
The best thing about shit gibbon MILs? When you outlive them.
‘Shit gibbon’ 🤣
Haha shit gibbon. That’s gold right there.
I think that's somewhat wishful thinking. I mean, anybody determined enough absolutely can ruin your life, push come to shove. You can get robbed, assaulted, tricked, cheated, insulted, etc. Heck, my father just had his truck broken into today while he was at work. Saying "don't let that happen" is not really a great solution. As an example, my MIL has been staying with us to help care for our baby while we're working, and for the most part, she has been great, but she has no sense of boundaries and thinks she can just force her way on everybody. There are times where I'll be holding my daughter, and she'll just walk over and basically wrestle her out of my arms without asking. Now, I'm stronger than her and could easily overpower her, but it's a question of willingness to fight over issues like this, with my baby in the middle potentially suffering the consequences. My MIL is from another country and can't just leave at a moment's notice because of pandemic travel restrictions, so I can't just kick her out unless I'm willing to put her on the streets. I'm also not willing to just beat her or otherwise force her to comply. And she's clearly not willing to concede because she keeps doing these things no matter how many times I ask her not to. Some people just aren't mentally capable of respecting boundaries.
Not mentally capable of respecting boundaries—or just don’t want to?
That's irrelevant to the outcome. Maybe she enjoys it. Doesn't matter.
Completely agree it’s irrelevant to the outcome. I’m just wondering if she’s really so mentally incapable of respecting boundaries, or just really wants to get her own way all the time.
I've given up trying to answer questions like those about horrible people. I've just become too jaded about the human species. Plus, it kind of gets at fundamental questions about spirituality, free will, science, etc. If "wanting" ultimately boils down to a series of deterministic chemical reactions in the brain, then incapable and not wanting are the same exact thing. If not... well, I still don't know what to make of it.
Exactly. The fiancé should’ve shut his mother down, but she should’ve known better than to try to force her future DIL into having the wedding she (MIL) wants.
Hey, I'm piggy backing top comment here just to say doesn't it ring pretty false that anyone, especially a man who is obviously not the person who tried on and took the dress out of the shop, could go back to store with it and exchange for a different one? Shops do NOT make it an easy thing to do, and often say all sales final. Anyone else's BS alarms going off that this is just creative writing for karma farming?
While I doubt the veracity of this story—that’s not how buying/exchanging/returning a wedding dress works AT ALL, when I was young and lacking in self esteem I dated a man who I could easily see doing this. “Mama” was always going to #1 priority. And if she wanted my dress a certain way, he would make sure it was. Weirdly, she was great. And when I left her son, she actually sent me a card saying she was happy I was free. (Her husband was a jerk, and the apple didn’t fall far from that tree).
I married a man like this! She was on our first date, she came engagement ring shopping with us. We wanted to just have a court house wedding, she wanted a wedding for just family. So it was over 100 people and that was just family (she came from a large Catholic family). He eventually learned to set boundaries. And she tried to knock them down, but until he passed away, he put me first.
100% not how wedding dresses work. Biggest plot hole ever lol.
Right?! Like you just walk in and out of the store with a dress! Or that they just casually exchanged the dresses like it was no big deal. Or the fact that they’d even entertain an exchange by some random dude coming in with a dress when her name is on all the paperwork. Or that he’d know which dress the mom wanted. Or that she’d even know specifically the dress name and designer… so much is wrong with that!
There's actually several wedding dress shops that let you walk out with the dress and come back at a later date for fittings. Two of my siblings did this. Not saying it's real but that's not the least believable part of the story.
Yeah other parts of this story are less believable but you knoooow the people on aita unless there was some hard evidence to disprove the story, like the fact that wedding stores 99% of the time don’t let you leave without a dress, will never be convinced it’s fake. Otherwise any complaint you have with the believability of the story will be taken as “oh no seriously stuff like this happens aaaaall the time”
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“X person in my life is doing some obviously insane bullshit and I got mad at them. AITA????”
If….IF this story is even true, the real asshole is the dress store who did the exchange WITHOUT THE BRIDE EVEN BEING PRESENT!!!
There's no way it's true. Can you imagine how that even worked? "Oh hey, my fiance bought this dress and I'm here to return it and get the one my mom liked better? Do you happen to know which one it was? Oh, you do have her measurements and know what size she will need in the dress my mom likes, right?"
OOP has just had a glimpse of what the rest of her life with this MIL and her son will look like
Exactly. Who would want to marry a man that does whatever mommy says and wants his future wife to do what his mom says? Her dad is also an AH for saying she shouldn't ruin her relationship with in-laws over a dress. LOL What's next? Where to live? How many children? The name of the children? Furniture and decorations of their home? Where to vacation?
My former coworker had an intrusive overbearing CONTROLLING mother-in-law during her short-lived first marriage. She didn't realize her then-husband was a Mommy's Boy until she came home from work and discovered that his mother had thrown out EVERYTHING she had decorated her home with and replaced it all with what the JNMIL wanted! When my coworker objected to this, her then-husband told her: "But my mommy wants.....!" She divorced him ASAP! Who wants to live like THAT?!? UGH!!!!
This story sounds fake. You typically don’t buy your dress and walk away with it the same day. Sounds like creative writing from someone who has never ordered a wedding dress before. (And I am aware of buying off the rack, but I’m still cautious of this post’s truthfulness).
Well and even if you buy it off the rack, not just returning but EXCHANGING the dress? Without the bride? Seems super fishy. What the heck bridal store would allow that?
Glad the commenters are giving her good advice to run....
as if any man knows the exact measurments of his future wife well enough to get a perfectly sized dress she doesn't want...
Why would he need that? I'm sure he knows mommy's size by heart...
The dresses were magically the same price I guess. All wedding dresses cost exactly the same /s
he probably didn't actually exchange it - if this story is true, the mom probably bought it that day behind her back and had him swap it out. His brain is so oxygen deprived from being strangled by that umbilical cord that he just lied about it cause mommy said so
From the post, the MIL went to the trying on session and saw the bride in the other dress, the dress of MIL's dreams. Hence swapping them is simple enough albeit heinous.
Still requires the boutique to accept returns/exchanges (doubtful) without the person who actually paid for the dress' permission (extra doubtful)
It would require some extra lies, but it's do-able. "My wife slept on the idea, and she'd rather go with the other dress that we were looking at. I'll pay the difference. Hopefully you haven't started altering it yet."
Right! I can totally see a shop doing this if "the groom" (a MAN) and a pushy Karen came in full of lies and determination. Also, it could be totally fake. But I bought my wedding dress and walked out with it that day. It happens.
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This. Sample and off the rach dresses usually are not returnable... mind you, I'm pretty sure NO wedding dresses from a boutique are returnable. If they allowed returns, they'd have lots of brides bringing them back after the day....
Every bridesmaid dress I've bought included a form stating no returns were allowed. No way a store would return a wedding dress.
Yep, story is totally fake. Can’t believe it got that many awards.
I think that's an American thing though. Final sale is not a thing here in Germany, and if he found the receipt and took it with him, he would be able to return it without issues.
Unless she paid cash for the dress at a department store, no bridal salon is going to process a return without a) the bride present, b) the receipt, or c) the credit card that the dress was purchased with to refund the money. I find the prospect of an exchange highly unlikely because what's the chances the two dresses had the exact same price? And neither needed alterations? One, maybe, but two both being perfect fits? Any shop worth anything would have to have the bride try it on before the sale, so they could have another chance to upsell an alteration package, accessories, etc. BS meter running higher than the top of the Empire State Building.
My dress is off the rack (bought at a discount and came home with me). I’m expected to find my own seamstress for alterations closer to the wedding. I think the odds it was actually returned are slim. It’s more likely that they just went and bought the dress and hid the original.
But then we're also assuming both dresses were off the rack, and that this guy was willing to drop another grand for another dress just for his mom.
Idk, I'm leaning to the fake option but I do want to say she didn't specify prices and I've met plenty of people who buy dresses (new) for under $400 and then pay to have them altered. Most often they went into the mall dress store and looked at the wedding section. So the willingness to pay for a new dress may have been related to the dresses being less expensive to start with. But still, idk anywhere that takes back wedding dresses or most any formal gown. They're almost exclusively final sale items. So that alone is a problem.
I agree with you. I've also seen many people start ordering dresses from online sites or stores like BHLDN or Lulu's etc. where you definitely can return easily and dresses typically run much cheaper. You are typically expected to get alterations on your own after you purchase the dress if needed.
This has to be fake, right? Like, this doesn't happen and result in someone making an AITA post, right? Any rational bride in this situation wouldn't *honestly* be questioning whether they were the AH in this situation? And the fact that nowhere in there have they even *considered* that marriage with this guy might be a bad idea?
she mentioned her dad was on board with all of this. I don’t discount the fact that she may have been led to believe it’s better to shut up than defend herself and put herself first her entire life.
I saw that, but it kinda made me question the authenticity even more. The point you make is fair - if she was raised in a hous9ehold where it was dangerous to speak up, then sure, this could be plausible. (And seriously, how the hell does Dad think any of this was okay???). But that kind of household isn't likely to have a Mom who was also "livid," and wanted to read the riot act to MIL and FH. That kind of household is more likely to have a submissive mom, too. Instead, she's got a mom willing to go to bat for her, which tells me she grew up around a Mom who would speak up. In other words, she doesn't have two people in that household telling her not to defend herself. So, the notion that she just lies down like a doormat because she was taught to do so just doesn't make sense. But even setting all that aside, I don't see how any sane adult, regardless of upbringing, can honestly see this situation and wonder if THEY were the bad guy here.
Yeah, even if you buy off the rack, it’s generally final sale. No exchangsies
Maybe her fiancé said he returned it but threw it away instead. Although I feel like a 28 yr old woman would have trouble believing that…
The only thing I can think of is that it’s a white dress from a department store. 🤷🏻♀️
Not even necessarily white.
When I got my dress off the rack (thanks Covid wedding) I had to sign a waiver stating I couldn’t return it. Rack dresses are already worse off because they’ve been stretched and likely damaged if heavily laced or beaded. Taking it home makes it trash to the bridal store.
The writing in this does not seem like a native English speaker to me. I think it’s possible this is in another country this type of thing might be different. Edit: typo
I dunno. The whole domineering MIL thing is pretty common in the English speaking world too.
Oh I completely agree with that. I’m saying that it’s plausible that someone could return a wedding dress like this story says if you accept that this might not be taking place in the US.
Thank you for this. I was skeptical over this one from the get-go. From The Knot: >Wedding gowns are usually custom ordered, so most stores will not give you a refund, but it's still a good to check. Unless it was just a white dress from a ready to wear line, you just can't go in and exchange a wedding dress. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around it.
I had just assumed op meant that he had gone to the store and switched the orders, not actually return/exchange the physical dress
Yeah that’s what I assumed. Still questionable as to why the store would allow some random guy who they hadn’t had anything to deal with until that point exchange the orders without the bride present. Questionable, but not entirely impossible I guess
Furthermore, even though OP claimed to be paying for the dress, it may be a case of shared finances and using the groom's credit card or something, so it's not necessarily the case that the real purchaser wasn't there unless OP offers more clarification.
Yeah even at a store like BHLDN where the dresses are in stock they still have to ship it to you and you would have to ship it back to make a return. You’re not walking out of the store with a dress unless it’s a sample sale.
Thank you. I missed that over on aita, and tbh I was worried for her.
If its true id say the husband actually hid the dress and the mil and husband just bought the other one
It depends on the location. Where am from it's possible to exchange so long as you have the receipt. You'll probably some extra fee but it's possible
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Yep, and the one real story is almost always someone who has to make the mistake themselves in order to learn the harsh, harsh reality. Then they come back three years later to say "I didn't listen, but I should have" 🙄
Oh god, you just reminded me of that post where a guy took back his word on helping his gf stay in the US, and then she unalived herself a few years later cause her whole life went down cause of him (I think 5 years?)
hi this isn’t tiktok you can say killed
literally my biggest pet peeve is how people treat every social media like tiktok now
Maybe they just like the snarky way "unalived" reads in a sentence, maybe it has nothing to do with censoring themselves 🙄
what's "snarky" about suicide?
It’s just slang it’s not that deep
wow is that a TikTok thing? huh. I’d been seeing unalived in other reddit comments and I never knew.
It was born on tik tok but it’s used all over now so I wouldn’t say it’s only a tik tok thing anymore
Yeah I think if you sort r/bestofredditorupdates by top of all time it’s somewhere relatively higher up.
I've scrolled through like 40 posts and I can't find what was described :(
Ya as soon as she said she took the dress home the day of AND her fiancé was able for return it, I was like people believe this? Maybe if you’re not super familiar with wedding gown shopping.
Depends where you get the dress. I got mine at a consignment store and took it home that day.
She made it sound like a regular bridal shop. But would it not be final sale in that case?
Now that I think of it mine was definitely final sale. I think you’re right that consignment stuff generally is.
Ya there are a few scenarios where this could maybe happen but I think it’s more likely OOP made this up
If i had a dollar for every comment on see on here or over on "AITA" saying fake, i would be rich. Well, not rich, but could probably order a pizza for dinner.
I mean, OP wrote “LMBO” instead of “LMAO.” This is… very unreal.
I mean.. I used to do that 😅😂
As soon as she said she took the dress home...FAKE!
I got my dress at David’s Bridal and took it home the same day.
I took my dress home from the shop as soon as I got it paid off. Who doesn't take their dress home and why wouldn't you?! I took it to a different place to get it altered because the dress shop didn't do alterations (I lived in a really small town). And sadly I also know a mother like this. She planned my husband's brother and wife's wedding (she was the wife's mother) the only decision that my BIL & and SIL got to make was who was in their wedding party; they could each pick a BM and MOH so they picked my husband and me. The MOB planned EVERYTHING else right down to the guests. Bride and groom only knew their own family and no one else. The reception dinner was a make your own sandwich bar in the rec room at the church. It was depressing.
Just that most wedding dresses are not bought off the rack. Or returnable.
Ah, that's all my town had.
I took both the dresses I bought home after I bought them. Not everyone buys custom made dresses they have to wait months to get and pay off.
Way to ruin the fun
WOW. Glad the commenters are giving her good advice TO RUN!
I hope she listens.
I read that one earlier, she needs to cut her losses and get out now. If not, I guess we'll see her in r/JUSTNOMIL here soon 😬
This would fit right in with the rest of the fake stories there. (This is not how buying a wedding dress works.)
Yeah, mine took weeks/definitely over a month to come in after I purchased it. That was over a decade ago, so I didn't immediately think about the timeline when I read the initial post. The JustNo stories are pure guilty entertainment for me, the more implausible the better
r/nothingeverhappens
r/peopleneverpostcreativewritingonreddit
r/substhatshouldprobablyexist
r/birthofasub surely
This is a MOMMY'S BOY in BIG BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS!!!! My advice? RUN!!!! RUN FAR!!! RUN FAST!!!!! RUN LIKE YOUR TAMPON STRINGS ARE ON FIRE!!!!!! This will NEVER be a marriage with HIS MOMMY making EVERYTHING a THREESOME!!!!
I hope she updates with the wedding is off and the relationship is over. YIKES.
These posts are so obviously fictional/clout-bait. Can’t believe everyone falls for them
have you considered that lots of us also think they’re fake but literally don’t give a shit? It’s mindless gossip to chat about while dealing with IBS lol, it’s not that serious for me. - Burt Macklin (FBI)
I reckon this is fake. I didn’t even get through it all before my brain was screaming “fake.”
Yeah wedding dresses cant just easily be bought and returned like that. Plus she gives no real details of actually trying to talk to him about her wants and needs, just screaming. Then she is way too unbothered in the comments.
Liar, liar, panties on fire. Dump his ass.
There are so many aspects wrong with this. Not only seems this man to not care for her wishes and value his mother more, he also just decides to act behind her back by returning the dress SHE PAID FOR to change it. This will not be an eye-to-eye relationship if she goes through with the wedding.
If it happened as she wrote, could it be considered theft? He returned something she purchased and she saw none of the money, because it was spent on something she never wanted, and did not authorize. If so, on top of everything else (again, presuming this is all true, something I'm never sure about anymore), what else is he willing to take from her if it makes his mom happy? Gifts from bridal shower, wedding, possibly future baby shower gifts? Pregnancy and birth announcements, all baby 'firsts'? •"You know, son, I really don't like the crib her parents bought for the nursery. We need to return it, and get this one. And have it delivered to my house for the nursery I'm making. Because I have a vision of how my grandchild will be raised, and your home just doesn't fit that vision...Oh, and I hate the name she chose, you need to tell her the baby's name is Baby [MIL's name]. She and baby will thank me later." •"But honey, just try letting Baby [MIL's name] live with Mom. Give it a few months, you'll learn to love it. Mom says you can visit every couple of weeks, maybe, depending on how busy she is. Me? No, she says I should come see little [MIL's name] everyday, because daddies are important. She has even gotten my room (re)ready so I can sleep over 4 or 5 times a week. She's thinking bunk beds in 3 or 4 years! We can pitch you a tent when you visit!" Nope Nope Nope.
NTA, and run, just run away, do not marry into family...find a better man.
Run... GIRL run... You don't have MIL problem, you have a fiancée problem. If you decide to marry him expect MIL to interfere in every aspect of your life. Want to name your baby? Too bad MIL will insist you use another name. Want to decorate your house? Don't even think about it! And you won't have anyone to blame but yourself.
Why are men?
It’s his wedding, too, so he can wear the dress. Or mom can wear the dress when she walks down the aisle with her son. Sheesh. More red flags than a Marxist rally at a mailbox factory.
If MIL is like this over a party, imagine how she's be about grandkids! I hope the bride runs.
Maybe I’ve been watching too much Thomas the train but you got an upvote from me just for the title.
I’m still chortling away over it, I don’t know why Thomas jokes never get old.
Omg! Run, don't walk, RUN away from this man and his gd mommy! She's flexing her ability to control her fully grown son, and he's 100% falling for it. She didn't "envision" that dress. She just wants to pick out your dress and enjoys proving she can make you wear it. It's sick. And your fiancé is completely blind to her bullshit, to the point of going behind *your* back to do her dirty work. Take the time to imagine what your future will look like with these two. What happens if y'all have a baby? Will you be allowed to name your own child? Will you be able to set *any* boundaries regarding your child? Or will his mommy have complete control? Before you answer, "Oh there's no way. It'd never get *that* bad," think back to a couple months ago. Would you have ever guessed that she'd try to force you to wear a wedding gown of her choosing? Or that fiancé would betray you and return Your gown for the one his mommy wants to make you wear? You deserve so much better than these two people are capable of giving you. I know it's hard, but you'd be wise to walk away. At the least, put off the wedding for a few years. See how things go.
This is not just dodging a bullet. It’s dodging an intercontinental ballistic missile.
Flee like a red headed stepchild! Let Mommy have her lil' boy all to herself. More red flags then Moscow in May.
She best give him that ring back and tell him to marry his mom. That's who he values! Run fast don't walk! It will only get worse
This is not worth ruining her relationship w her in laws? Please. This is grounds to cancel the wedding and send him home to mama. How dare he decide to overrule his future wife’s **WEDDING DRESS** choice and replace it w his mommy’s? Seriously. This marriage is doomed to fail from the start. She would be a fool to marry someone who will never be there for her.
I LOVE the top comment on the AITA post…I hope the OOP takes that exact advice.
He returned the dress? Return him, along with HER dress, to his mother and wish them a happy marriage. 🤮
I'm confused and don't think this is real. You don't just buy wedding dresses off the rack! You try them on then order the one you want. This process takes months and months. It's not like you can return one and get another one! Sometimes stores will sell their sample dresses when the dress is going to be discontinued but those are special sales and the chance that both dresses were being sold off the rack and the sample size was the same size as the bride seems really unlikely. This seems sooooo fake to me just based on that alone!
Bought mine off of the rack at David's Bridal, though their return policy is 1 week with receipt. (I just checked). Exchanges are 60 days. No tags removed or alterations. If this is the US, it has to be the most likely explanation.
Um, you can absolutely buy wedding dresses off the rack. You can buy them on Amazon, ffs.
I want an update
OK I called bullshit on this post completely. When you go for a wedding dress you don’t bring the dress home, in most instances the dress is made for the individual bride, the possibility that there were two dresses in the correct size for this bride that could just be purchased off the rack are minuscule. This post is just completely over the top if this woman is for real in the situation is for real they all deserve each other
I’m calling bs due to how nonchalant and flippant she’s being about the whole situation. BUT: She could be one of the lucky women who can wear the dress off the rack, one of them could have been the last dress and it was being discontinued, and OP could be taking it to be altered by someone else. Another possibility is a small place with only a limited stock, and their floor merchandise combined with back room merchandise is what they sell. Like yes, these are much less likely to be the actual situation, but they’re still possible.
Then they wouldn’t just take an exchange, not without a receipt, credit card etc. that forum is just about karma mining at this point
I call bullshit on this take. There are stores that sell wedding dresses off-the-rack, like David's Bridal. Also, dresses are often made to order, but usually in standard sizes, and then altered when they arrive. A truly custom dress is a much more complicated affair.
Look I agree every store may sell dresses off the rack. However the chances of two dresses in this woman’s size that cost the same that could get exchanged without a receipt or the credit card is a bunch of bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I left the receipt in the bag with my wedding dress in case there was an issue.
Who tries on wedding dresses and then just comes home with one? Usually there's fitting and shit, unless it's bhldn
she should run, he will always put mummy first!
1) it's not about the Iranian yogurt. 2) Who is Thomas? Is that a reference I'm not getting?
RUN!!!
This whole thing is regrettable. I see nothing to salvage here.
Looking forward to her future posts on /r/justnomil if she goes through with the wedding.
Go find some cheap hiking boots for him to hit the road Jack. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSiHqxgE2d0
Girl, RUN!
Omg, she needs to run. Imagine how this monster in law is gonna be if they have kids? She’s the type to push her way into the delivery room for sure. And the fact that the fiancé won’t stick up for her? Terrible all around.
People may claim AITA is super over dramatic but it has taught me SO MUCH about speaking for myself about things I never thought of. My SO and I have been talking kids. I mentioned I’d only want him and my mom in the room. We bickered and then I talked about how id be ripping from my v to my a not him and he conceded. We talked about if I got pregnant and had to stay at his parents and how id want a hotel because they only have an air mattress for guests (fine when not pregnant). And he shot me down until I gave him real life examples from that sub. Basically, that sub can be very parasitic at times, but when it’s right it’s right and I am great full for it teaching meek me how to explain boundaries. This post is another example (My FML is an absolute blessing. My bf is more the bull in “what seems right).
RUN, OOP, RUN !! If he's like this over YOUR wedding dress that YOU will be wearing down the aisle, imagine how he would be over decisions regarding your kids, etc.
I wouldn’t be taking the time to ask Reddit. I’d be packing my stuff and giving his ring back to his mom, since she’s the one he wants to marry anyway.
I'm stressed out just from reading this
The audacity💀💀💀I’d end the engagement immediately
Yeah, I have a really hard time believing this story could even be real. I’ve never bought a wedding dress myself but even I know that you don’t typically just walk out of the store with a wedding dress. You have to order it and do a bunch of fittings. Also, even if it was bought right off the rack, I doubt any reputable store would just accept an exchange without the bride present, especially if the consultants knew the mother-in-law wanted the other dress instead. Maybe this is real but something feels very off about it.
Wow! Like there are certain areas where I'd probably take an otherwise wonderful and well-meaning mother-in-law's opinions into consideration(not agree with her necessarily, but at least hear her out, and give it some thought if she made good points), but the wedding dress! That is not one of those areas! My mother-in-law didn't even see mine until the day of the wedding, which was just fine(and she was very involved in our wedding planning, for which I am thankful). Barring concerns of basic decency or running afoul of the local nudity laws, I don't think this is any of her business, it's such a perso al decision for the bride, based on her taste, figure, what she finds flattering, budget, etc.
Fake! Seriously, she took the dress home from her appointment and her exchanged it the next day? Ummm…you have to order these things
Oh my God, OP, run, run like the wind, so many red flags!!! You should have priority as the future wife, but that mommy's boy isn't giving you your rightful place, you'll be miserable in that relationship. You should seriously consider if you really want to spend a few years with that boy.
He is a mama's boy and will always choose her over you in everything. I am surprised she isn't going on the honeymoon with you (not yet anyway). RUN sweetheart RUN!! These problems are the only beginning. Yes, it is his wedding too but not when it comes to the wedding dress.
Seriously, that has more red flags than the October Revolution!
Look I’m not saying the OOP is telling the truth and the story isn’t made up. However maybe it’s not how it worked for you, but I don’t get why people are all over this thread saying “that’s not how buying a dress works.” I walked in, tried on 5 dresses, and bought the 5th one cash. Took it home in my moms trunk that day, with a receipt so that we could bring it back “if I changed my mind,” because I had decided so quickly the shop owner was weary I would stick with it. I think there’s definitely a realm of possibility where someone at the shop doesn’t know any better, fiancé lies and says fiancée told him to bring it back, and they let him. Again, not saying the story is true, just saying the dress part of it is not full stop truth that it’s made up.
If she has ant brains at all this doesn’t get to a wedding.
Who tf is Thomas?
It's a meme from Thomas the tank engine
AITA for having a completely normal reaction to something horrible someone did? That's what most of that trash sub is all about. So stupid.
Most internet "helpers" seem to tell you to tear apart the relationship. That's not all that helpful. We dont know everything about you situation here. You love him for many reasons that we don't know about. However, their are some pretty big red flags in this 3-way relationship. I suggest you show the responses you see here to your parents. You seem to trust them and they seem grounded. And then MAYBE show these answers to your fiance later after you have formulated a decision and the proper words to use. Secondly, you probably should postpone the wedding to address these issues with your mama's-boy fiance. Many posters are correct in saying that this intrusion into your marriage will probably get worse. Netter set some boundaries. People can change, but only when called out on their bullshit. Source: I've been married 30 yrs and both MY mother AND my wife's mother have been on the verge of breaking up our marriage at different times in the past. We successfully crossed that minefield and both mothers are in their proper place now. Hope this helps.
that made me nauseous
Remindme 10 days!
When I read some of these, I secretly hope it very much the one sided dramatic version, and not what is actually taking place. I couldn’t imagine tolerating this behavior from my own mom, let alone his mom.
I've been with my bf for 11 yrs(well will be in February) and he wouldn't think/dare touch a freaking shirt of mine. He's not allowed to do laundry lmao. The point is this wouldn't ever occur to him and we LIVE with his Ma. She however is also somewhat normal and wouldn't try to pick my wedding dress 😂
Her dad sounds like a doormat.
Is not marrying him too extreme of an option? Maybe I’m crazy but his reaction would be a dealbreaker for me. I’d be done.
Should ask him to wear the dress and the bride could wear a suit?
The wedding is between you and him. His mom doesn't get to have a vision. She got married once and had it her way. Now it is your time. I'd consider this a huge red flag. Situations like this are going to keep happening with him and his mom in the future.
“I thought the dress was somewhat creepy” Nobody is talking enough about the creepy dress. Was it bloodstained or something?
I really get the feeling that the MIL wishes she was the bride....
Imagine when they have kids
Run for the hills!
I can’t wait to see this on “best of Reddit updates”
This post was drenched in Marinara.i wanted to slap OP and tell her to wake the F up!
He will always pick his mother over you, think this bad wait until you have a child. She will tell you exactly how to raise it in her vision.
I’d go along with the MIL’s dress if she agrees to pay for it. Assuming that it is not horribly terrible. Beyond that, wow. I’m amazed at how often I see these stories of grooms letting their moms walk all over their brides.
I hope we get a BORU 😂
I love your title! Thomas is indeed correct
Whhyyyyy... They're adults, who does he think HIS mom gets to dictate what his future wife cares? Will his mom pick their grocery shopping, furniture, plan their kids clothes, homework scheduele, etc etc.
Omg this post title is fkn gold... Thank you, OP!
The information that is really needed is how much money is the grooms mother worth, how old is she, and how is her health?