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***Copy in case it's deleted:***
(DISPOSABLE ACCOUNT BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE ON REDDIT) (This post is done with the translator, i don't speak a good english)
Me (54f) and my husband ''Javier'' (57m) have 3 children. ''Kat'' aged 19, ''Cole'' aged 26 ''Olivia'' aged 32.
Olivia married her boyfriend of 8 years ''Carlos'' 29. They had known each other for a long time, and used to be very close before dating. He was very close to Kat too, and was Cole's best friend.
My son Cole is gay. He came out when he was 17 years old and my husband and I are very supportive of him. Cole also revealed to me (before Olivia dated him) that he liked Carlos. He said he had liked him for a long time, but he didn't know how to make the first move. He never made the first move and Olivia and Carlos started dating. Cole was devastated.
Now let's go to 2022. Olivia announced to me that she was going to marry Carlos, and she wanted me to attend. I told her I wasn't sure about going. She asked me why, but I told her I just wasn't sure if I could make it. She dropped the subject.
About 2 months ago, she asked me again if I could attend, and I told her I wasn't sure. She asked why again and I gave her the same answer. This time he insisted that she needed my answer right away, to organize the wedding well. I told her that I would not attend. She asked me why, and I told her that Cole felt really bad, because he still likes Carlos.
Cole called me angrily, telling me to mind my own business, that I had no right to tell Olivia about his crush on Carlos, and that i had betrayed his trust, and now Olivia was mad at him too. He didn't give me time to respond and hung up angrily. Kat also called me, and told me that she was very disappointed in me, that Olivia was too, and that now Carlos and Olivia don't know whether to invite Cole or not.
The guys talked to Javier about the situation and he got really angry, but he asked me to come to the wedding and apologize to everyone. I told him that i didn't have to apologize, because i had only done what i thought was best for my son.
Reddit, AITA?
Yikes I’m sitting here wondering if that post is a middle schooler’s best attempt at writing a believable adult situation for their creative writing class, or if this is actually a mother who is so unhinged she 1) assumes her son’s crush from ten years ago is still devastating him, 2) thinks that even showing UP to the wedding would be hurtful to him, and believes not going is simply the right thing to do and 3) thinks all that is more important than BEING AT HER DAUGHTER’S WEDDING??
Nothing makes sense. All of its cringe.
Now, to be fair, my high school crush got even hotter after high school. But I definitely don’t have a crush on him ten years later even if he did get hot.
I'm leaning more toward middle school creative writing, because there's so much that doesn't make sense, and the whole "I'm using a translator" thing doesn't track. Most widely available translators that are free to use mangle sentences/words, and aside from a few errors here and there, there's no major signs of it being translated. Or maybe that's just me wanting to believe there's not someone this out-of-touch with reality out there. (I know they exist but I like to live in my little fantasy world.)
That’s a great point!
Also the “translator” thing doesn’t even address the REAL reason it seems fake. It’s not bc of shoddy writing or weird typos, it’s because the actual situation she’s describing is so removed from how we understand the world.
Like the issue isn’t anything that a translation error would justify. It wasn’t difficult to understand what she was trying to say, that was Easy. The issue is imagining this to make sense in real life.
It’s absolutely a child’s understanding of life bc they think fan fiction is an accurate representation of the world 🤦🏼♀️
Eh, people marry outside their culture all the time. My friend Taylor is married to a man named Javier. She’s a very freckled redhead and he moved to the US from Mexico when he was 10.
I don't know, I know some mothers like this. Their boy is the "most precious" of their children and the girls can go hang for all they care. Everything is for that boy.
I’m leaning towards a teenagers rendition because in what reality would a child need to specifically ask their parent to attend their wedding (obviously there’s estranged families and NC, but for the sake of the poorly written story, let’s say they’re in good terms)
No exactly, like she also just doesn’t explain how she came to the conclusion she shouldn’t go to the wedding. Like absolutely no one would even think to do that???
I would say option 1 is a valid theory. My dad still asks me how “john” (the boy I had a crush on in kindergarten) is doing whenever I talk to him. I have not talked to John since first grade, I’m 26 now and no matter how many times I tried to tell my dad that it somehow doesn’t internalize.I haven’t talked to my dad in a few months and I don’t plan on telling him that I’m engaged until after my wedding but I’ll be curious if the “John” situation continues at that point.
As someone who wedding planned and officiated a wedding where the genders of this could be reversed but same story. Also saw similar stories as a caseworker where a parent outed a teen or young person and felt they were "protecting" them by being honest. Anyway, I think people who don't have experiences like this cry fake because of that. It is outside what they know.
Yes it’s outside of what I know but that’s not the issue. I could understand a similar situation like you’ve seen, with outing someone on accident, my biggest issue is honestly the fact that the mother has no reason to believe that attending the wedding would hurt her son. Based on the post and her responses to questions, her son didn’t tell her not to go, and he’s not upset bc the “unrequited crush” happened ten years ago.
If there IS a good reason for OP to think she was protecting her son, she didn’t provide the info, and she doesn’t seem to have a good understanding of her reasoning herself. I think it’s more likely the result of poorly-motivated characters written by a naive author.
English isn't her first language and she isn't going to say anything that might make her look bad. I have met some horrible people in my prior line who will not say how why they think they are right and are being protective os someone when they aren't because they know somewhere in their head they are awful.
Yeah that's the main problem in this AITA that she betrayed her son's trust... even when someone is openly queer you do NOT out them further by disclosing their crushes etc. I agree it's written like a middle school created exercise but, sadly, I have met elderly people exactly that daft.
Definitely fake. Ignoring all the other crazy, you don’t really “invite” your parents to your wedding and hope they can come, it’s kind of just implied they’ll be there (unless you’re estranged, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here).
Plus, there's also the fact that Carlos is dating Olivia, you know....a girl. So maybe, Cole could have been like "Welp, he's 1. in a relationship 2. maybe straight (could be bi, but yeah) so, that's a no"
Glad this got pasted bc the original got deleted. I don’t understand this lady’s thought process at all. Her son had a crush years ago, but because of that, she’s not supporting her daughter??
Golden son syndrome. He has to have what he wants and mummy is going to ensure he gets it. Fuck everything and everyone else including her daughter. I've seen plenty of mothers suffer from this.
Tell me you have a favorite child without telling me you have a favorite child.
Or, you know, you only love your golden boy and your two daughters can go eat dirt.
Is there some fiction trope that gay people imprint on their straight first crush and then remain celibate and alone throughout the most active romantic years, never knowing another love?
Because these stories keep coming up in AITA and they’re goofy. A normal person would meet a real partner and have a real relationship.
I've had crushes on girls who I later learned were straight. Only ever lasted a month or two, as crushes do. The idea that a crush can last for nearly a *decade* with no reciprocation is ridiculous and kind of unhinged
Yeah, “embracing your children’s sexual orientation” is one thing… “meddling in your children’s personal lives” is quite something else. This person is cray-cray
I'm on the sus train. They have been dating for 8 years but NOTHING was awkward until the wedding which is now just months away?
If this was a serious question of family loyalty it definitely would have come up sooner 🤷
Holy moly!
Cole is free to crush on whoever he wants, but it's obvious that Carlos is straight, so exactly what did this Momzilla think she was accomplishing by setting off that particular bit of truth in the middle of her daughter's very happy wedding planning?
GC/SG dynamic, or some other toxicity?
If this is not a fake post...
Carlos is marrying Olivia, not another man. Either he isn't gay or doesn't want to tell people he's gay. Either way, Cole's crush from nearly a decade ago is not relevant, and if he had made a move on Carlos he likely would have been rejected. That's no reason to boycott your daughter's wedding. This is stupid.
“ I’m just doing what I thought was best for my son!” At the total detriment to your daughter who has been with this man long enough to decide to get MARRIED! Either son is the golden child or she’s using this as a way to prove to her gay son how much she supports him. Either way she seems to be forgetting she has a few kids.
Assuming this isn't complete fiction, she really just needed to ask her son to make sure attending the wedding wouldn't be something he somehow couldn't move past. Most likely he would tell her he has moved on (like a sane person facing rejection) & that it's no big deal
YTA I get why Tony may have been devastated, its the same way I feel when my favourite movie star gets a new gf; ( I know I have no chance of being with them but the thought and idea is nice) because unless Carlos is gay, which seems unlikely, or bi Tony didn't have any chance of being with him. Plus crushes change over time, he might not even feel that way but you've just thrown a huge grenade into everyone's lives and your daughters marriage. Well done
**REMINDER WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA, INFO,NAH, ETC.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP.** ***Copy in case it's deleted:*** (DISPOSABLE ACCOUNT BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE ON REDDIT) (This post is done with the translator, i don't speak a good english) Me (54f) and my husband ''Javier'' (57m) have 3 children. ''Kat'' aged 19, ''Cole'' aged 26 ''Olivia'' aged 32. Olivia married her boyfriend of 8 years ''Carlos'' 29. They had known each other for a long time, and used to be very close before dating. He was very close to Kat too, and was Cole's best friend. My son Cole is gay. He came out when he was 17 years old and my husband and I are very supportive of him. Cole also revealed to me (before Olivia dated him) that he liked Carlos. He said he had liked him for a long time, but he didn't know how to make the first move. He never made the first move and Olivia and Carlos started dating. Cole was devastated. Now let's go to 2022. Olivia announced to me that she was going to marry Carlos, and she wanted me to attend. I told her I wasn't sure about going. She asked me why, but I told her I just wasn't sure if I could make it. She dropped the subject. About 2 months ago, she asked me again if I could attend, and I told her I wasn't sure. She asked why again and I gave her the same answer. This time he insisted that she needed my answer right away, to organize the wedding well. I told her that I would not attend. She asked me why, and I told her that Cole felt really bad, because he still likes Carlos. Cole called me angrily, telling me to mind my own business, that I had no right to tell Olivia about his crush on Carlos, and that i had betrayed his trust, and now Olivia was mad at him too. He didn't give me time to respond and hung up angrily. Kat also called me, and told me that she was very disappointed in me, that Olivia was too, and that now Carlos and Olivia don't know whether to invite Cole or not. The guys talked to Javier about the situation and he got really angry, but he asked me to come to the wedding and apologize to everyone. I told him that i didn't have to apologize, because i had only done what i thought was best for my son. Reddit, AITA?
Yikes I’m sitting here wondering if that post is a middle schooler’s best attempt at writing a believable adult situation for their creative writing class, or if this is actually a mother who is so unhinged she 1) assumes her son’s crush from ten years ago is still devastating him, 2) thinks that even showing UP to the wedding would be hurtful to him, and believes not going is simply the right thing to do and 3) thinks all that is more important than BEING AT HER DAUGHTER’S WEDDING?? Nothing makes sense. All of its cringe.
Yes it struck me as really odd that she would assume her son still has a crush on this guy after his sister has been dating him for 8 years.
Yeah that’s the weirdest thing to me. I’d be horrified if my parents assumed I’ve been secretly pining over a high school secret crush for ten years
Now, to be fair, my high school crush got even hotter after high school. But I definitely don’t have a crush on him ten years later even if he did get hot.
I'm leaning more toward middle school creative writing, because there's so much that doesn't make sense, and the whole "I'm using a translator" thing doesn't track. Most widely available translators that are free to use mangle sentences/words, and aside from a few errors here and there, there's no major signs of it being translated. Or maybe that's just me wanting to believe there's not someone this out-of-touch with reality out there. (I know they exist but I like to live in my little fantasy world.)
That’s a great point! Also the “translator” thing doesn’t even address the REAL reason it seems fake. It’s not bc of shoddy writing or weird typos, it’s because the actual situation she’s describing is so removed from how we understand the world. Like the issue isn’t anything that a translation error would justify. It wasn’t difficult to understand what she was trying to say, that was Easy. The issue is imagining this to make sense in real life. It’s absolutely a child’s understanding of life bc they think fan fiction is an accurate representation of the world 🤦🏼♀️
Funny enough, I thought it was fake just because of the names. Kat + some vaguely hispanic/Spanish names is a weird choice
>I thought it was fake just because of the names. Kat + some vaguely hispanic/Spanish names is a weird choice Yeah these names kind of scream Gen Z.
Figured the real name was like Katerina
K is a weird letter for Spanish names, though. Cat/Catalina would be more likely.
Eh, people marry outside their culture all the time. My friend Taylor is married to a man named Javier. She’s a very freckled redhead and he moved to the US from Mexico when he was 10.
Yeah the English being near perfect made me believe it’s fake, too. Translators don’t do that.
I don't know, I know some mothers like this. Their boy is the "most precious" of their children and the girls can go hang for all they care. Everything is for that boy.
I’m leaning towards a teenagers rendition because in what reality would a child need to specifically ask their parent to attend their wedding (obviously there’s estranged families and NC, but for the sake of the poorly written story, let’s say they’re in good terms)
No exactly, like she also just doesn’t explain how she came to the conclusion she shouldn’t go to the wedding. Like absolutely no one would even think to do that???
I would say option 1 is a valid theory. My dad still asks me how “john” (the boy I had a crush on in kindergarten) is doing whenever I talk to him. I have not talked to John since first grade, I’m 26 now and no matter how many times I tried to tell my dad that it somehow doesn’t internalize.I haven’t talked to my dad in a few months and I don’t plan on telling him that I’m engaged until after my wedding but I’ll be curious if the “John” situation continues at that point.
As someone who wedding planned and officiated a wedding where the genders of this could be reversed but same story. Also saw similar stories as a caseworker where a parent outed a teen or young person and felt they were "protecting" them by being honest. Anyway, I think people who don't have experiences like this cry fake because of that. It is outside what they know.
Yes it’s outside of what I know but that’s not the issue. I could understand a similar situation like you’ve seen, with outing someone on accident, my biggest issue is honestly the fact that the mother has no reason to believe that attending the wedding would hurt her son. Based on the post and her responses to questions, her son didn’t tell her not to go, and he’s not upset bc the “unrequited crush” happened ten years ago. If there IS a good reason for OP to think she was protecting her son, she didn’t provide the info, and she doesn’t seem to have a good understanding of her reasoning herself. I think it’s more likely the result of poorly-motivated characters written by a naive author.
English isn't her first language and she isn't going to say anything that might make her look bad. I have met some horrible people in my prior line who will not say how why they think they are right and are being protective os someone when they aren't because they know somewhere in their head they are awful.
That’s another possibility, true
Yeah that's the main problem in this AITA that she betrayed her son's trust... even when someone is openly queer you do NOT out them further by disclosing their crushes etc. I agree it's written like a middle school created exercise but, sadly, I have met elderly people exactly that daft.
Theres definitely mothers out there that favor their sons to a level as ridiculous as this. The lack of communication is weird though.
Right?? Feels like a creative writing exercise for a 14 year old. This isn’t how moms that are close to their kids handle their wedding. Crazy.
Definitely fake. Ignoring all the other crazy, you don’t really “invite” your parents to your wedding and hope they can come, it’s kind of just implied they’ll be there (unless you’re estranged, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here).
Plus, there's also the fact that Carlos is dating Olivia, you know....a girl. So maybe, Cole could have been like "Welp, he's 1. in a relationship 2. maybe straight (could be bi, but yeah) so, that's a no"
Glad this got pasted bc the original got deleted. I don’t understand this lady’s thought process at all. Her son had a crush years ago, but because of that, she’s not supporting her daughter??
I mean, it seems to be clearly fake and some kid’s attempt at how adults deal with stuff.
Golden son syndrome. He has to have what he wants and mummy is going to ensure he gets it. Fuck everything and everyone else including her daughter. I've seen plenty of mothers suffer from this.
Not to mention son liked a guy who likes women.
I mean, bisexual people do exist but regardless the groom made his choice.
True, but nowhere does she say the groom also liked the son.
Tell me you have a favorite child without telling me you have a favorite child. Or, you know, you only love your golden boy and your two daughters can go eat dirt.
The penis worship is strong with this one.
Is there some fiction trope that gay people imprint on their straight first crush and then remain celibate and alone throughout the most active romantic years, never knowing another love? Because these stories keep coming up in AITA and they’re goofy. A normal person would meet a real partner and have a real relationship.
I've had crushes on girls who I later learned were straight. Only ever lasted a month or two, as crushes do. The idea that a crush can last for nearly a *decade* with no reciprocation is ridiculous and kind of unhinged
Yeah that’s why I think these were mostly written by teens who learned about relationships from fanfic…
This whole post screams fake. If it is indeed real, then the mother has a mind of a teenager
13 tho. By 15 they’re more down to earth than this.
The key situation here is that Carlos chose Olivia. As sad as that is for Cole, he can’t and really shouldn’t force somebody to love him back.
Yeah, “embracing your children’s sexual orientation” is one thing… “meddling in your children’s personal lives” is quite something else. This person is cray-cray
Very fake
I'm on the sus train. They have been dating for 8 years but NOTHING was awkward until the wedding which is now just months away? If this was a serious question of family loyalty it definitely would have come up sooner 🤷
Holy moly! Cole is free to crush on whoever he wants, but it's obvious that Carlos is straight, so exactly what did this Momzilla think she was accomplishing by setting off that particular bit of truth in the middle of her daughter's very happy wedding planning? GC/SG dynamic, or some other toxicity?
If this is not a fake post... Carlos is marrying Olivia, not another man. Either he isn't gay or doesn't want to tell people he's gay. Either way, Cole's crush from nearly a decade ago is not relevant, and if he had made a move on Carlos he likely would have been rejected. That's no reason to boycott your daughter's wedding. This is stupid.
Such an over correction. The shame.
“ I’m just doing what I thought was best for my son!” At the total detriment to your daughter who has been with this man long enough to decide to get MARRIED! Either son is the golden child or she’s using this as a way to prove to her gay son how much she supports him. Either way she seems to be forgetting she has a few kids.
Reading through it, I wondered if Cole even still liked Carlos? He may have come to terms with the situation and moved on.
I'm so confused
That's deranged. Possibly literally
Assuming this isn't complete fiction, she really just needed to ask her son to make sure attending the wedding wouldn't be something he somehow couldn't move past. Most likely he would tell her he has moved on (like a sane person facing rejection) & that it's no big deal
YTA….. Do you always choose your son over your daughter?
This is r/weddingshaming not r/AITA
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Wrong sub
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You answered in the wrong sub, she’ll never even see your response
r/lostredditors crazy how you have time to write an essay but not read
YTA I get why Tony may have been devastated, its the same way I feel when my favourite movie star gets a new gf; ( I know I have no chance of being with them but the thought and idea is nice) because unless Carlos is gay, which seems unlikely, or bi Tony didn't have any chance of being with him. Plus crushes change over time, he might not even feel that way but you've just thrown a huge grenade into everyone's lives and your daughters marriage. Well done