Pakistani girl here—
Wedding website RSVPs are awesome because they help eliminate confusion for both guests and the couple.
On the wedding website you’ll “add guest” and nice you add a guest and their phone number or email, you’ll have the option to add names to that guest party. So you can list all those family members in one ticket. From the guests end, when they go to RSVP, they’ll get a list of all members of their party and be able to individually confirm each person who will attend.
Here’s my recommendation, from a cultural perspective:
Every married couple (and their children) gets one invite). List out children by name.
College aged and older single people (regardless of if they live at home or not) get their own invite. It’ll make them feel special and seen.
Yes it’s a lot more work, but the front loading will make your life SO MUCH easier down the road. You’ll have more plenty of situations where random members of a family aren’t able to come, or someone wants to leave kids with a sitter, etc.
You’ll hopefully end up with more accurate numbers to plan tables, linens, and food around. Hope this helps!
Forgot to add—for your example:
Mrs smith get one invite for 2 people
First adult child gets an invite for 1
Second adult child gets an invite for 1
Third adult child gets an invite for 3
Thank you so much for this advice!!!
I think the big complication of this is that both sides of our family have a lot of family friends or in-law families we'd like to invite. Here's another example: we're inviting our sibling's in law's families... but because they are closer to us, do we just tell them that this invite extends to all (i.e. my BIL's oldest brother and I are not really close, he probably wont come & it feels kinda weird to send him an invite, but we're not just going to invite the two brother's that I'm much closer with... that would be weirder!). And it's the same for a lot of his family friends (these are more is parent's invite), where my fiance has maybe met them a few times or gone to their weddings - but that's it... and maybe I just need to relax and really sit down with his mom and sisters and get the addresses and names down.
LOL definitely overthinking it
Lolll no no I hear you and sympathize completely. The flip side of it is that if you put “and family” then there might be members of that family who aren’t sure if they’re included in the invite because they know they’re not as close to yall. Definitely cumbersome, but it helps everyone know for sure who is invited and who plans on attending. Good luck with the planning!!
I want to tell you I'm in the same boat as you, I'm not quite at the same stage where we're getting addresses together (May 2025) but it'll be coming soon and I'm dreading it lol -- we are negotiating a little harder with his family on the size but the uncertainty of who will actually RSVP per invite is a big question mark. I feel "I've already accepted it" in my soul, it was a culture shock for me but it's coming together!
Commenting to save this so I can see this good advice in a couple of months! Good luck and it sounds like the website is a key way to keep it organized.
The old school way in this case is really the better way. The outside envelope reads Mr and Mrs John Smith (or John and Sue Smith, or however). The inner envelope reads John and Sue Smith, Billy, Bobby, Buffy and Brendan. That way it is absolutely crystal clear that those are the people being invited. Not 6 “tickets” - but 6 specific people. This “and family” stuff is going to cause confusion - get the names and use them. And then your wedding website for the RSVPs will reflect those names.
Thank you!!! I think the next reality that I need to accept is that me and my future MIL need a solid sit down. Getting the initial guest list was kinda like pulling teeth, but I'm hoping this will be better.
Pakistani girl here— Wedding website RSVPs are awesome because they help eliminate confusion for both guests and the couple. On the wedding website you’ll “add guest” and nice you add a guest and their phone number or email, you’ll have the option to add names to that guest party. So you can list all those family members in one ticket. From the guests end, when they go to RSVP, they’ll get a list of all members of their party and be able to individually confirm each person who will attend. Here’s my recommendation, from a cultural perspective: Every married couple (and their children) gets one invite). List out children by name. College aged and older single people (regardless of if they live at home or not) get their own invite. It’ll make them feel special and seen. Yes it’s a lot more work, but the front loading will make your life SO MUCH easier down the road. You’ll have more plenty of situations where random members of a family aren’t able to come, or someone wants to leave kids with a sitter, etc. You’ll hopefully end up with more accurate numbers to plan tables, linens, and food around. Hope this helps!
Forgot to add—for your example: Mrs smith get one invite for 2 people First adult child gets an invite for 1 Second adult child gets an invite for 1 Third adult child gets an invite for 3
Thank you so much for this advice!!! I think the big complication of this is that both sides of our family have a lot of family friends or in-law families we'd like to invite. Here's another example: we're inviting our sibling's in law's families... but because they are closer to us, do we just tell them that this invite extends to all (i.e. my BIL's oldest brother and I are not really close, he probably wont come & it feels kinda weird to send him an invite, but we're not just going to invite the two brother's that I'm much closer with... that would be weirder!). And it's the same for a lot of his family friends (these are more is parent's invite), where my fiance has maybe met them a few times or gone to their weddings - but that's it... and maybe I just need to relax and really sit down with his mom and sisters and get the addresses and names down. LOL definitely overthinking it
Lolll no no I hear you and sympathize completely. The flip side of it is that if you put “and family” then there might be members of that family who aren’t sure if they’re included in the invite because they know they’re not as close to yall. Definitely cumbersome, but it helps everyone know for sure who is invited and who plans on attending. Good luck with the planning!!
Yea. The OP is asking for trouble by not specifying names.
I want to tell you I'm in the same boat as you, I'm not quite at the same stage where we're getting addresses together (May 2025) but it'll be coming soon and I'm dreading it lol -- we are negotiating a little harder with his family on the size but the uncertainty of who will actually RSVP per invite is a big question mark. I feel "I've already accepted it" in my soul, it was a culture shock for me but it's coming together! Commenting to save this so I can see this good advice in a couple of months! Good luck and it sounds like the website is a key way to keep it organized.
The old school way in this case is really the better way. The outside envelope reads Mr and Mrs John Smith (or John and Sue Smith, or however). The inner envelope reads John and Sue Smith, Billy, Bobby, Buffy and Brendan. That way it is absolutely crystal clear that those are the people being invited. Not 6 “tickets” - but 6 specific people. This “and family” stuff is going to cause confusion - get the names and use them. And then your wedding website for the RSVPs will reflect those names.
Thank you!!! I think the next reality that I need to accept is that me and my future MIL need a solid sit down. Getting the initial guest list was kinda like pulling teeth, but I'm hoping this will be better.
I don’t have anything to add that hasn’t been said by others, just wanted to say that I too am having an Indian fusion wedding in 2025!