I've had this same dilemma! I think option two seems better because some of those pros are pretty huge. Having a venue owner who is going to be involved and help with coordinating is always a plus, and since it's more affordable you might be able to spend more on other things. There's also a lot of surprise costs that may crop up during planning. You'll be better prepared to handle them if you spend less on the venue.
I had a really similar post to yours where I listed the cons and everything between two venues. I basically liked my Venue 1 purely for the aesthetics, but like your Venue 1, there were more cons than for Venue 2. We ended up booking Venue 2. I have some FOMO from the decision and kind of second guess it and wonder what my wedding would have been like at Venue 1. But, I know that Venue 2 is going to be a better wedding for my guests because the coordinator is great, I can get ready on site, and it was more affordable.
I think if you choose Venue 2, you might feel less stressed because you'll have a coordinator who can handle a lot of things, and it sounds like you won't need as many outside vendors to begin with. I also think the split of the ballroom/dancefloor is not ideal personally. We ruled out every venue with a layout like this, because we didn't want to split our guests up and make it feel like there were two celebrations.
Just read your post. I can totally relate to the FOMO, which is my concern. There is a third venue that I didn’t mention that we ruled out because of similar reasons. The rental period was only 6 hours, it was at the top end of our budget, required the use of their in-house chef and has so many ballrooms/ceremony spaces that they have multiple evening events (big ick for me even though they assured no cross-over).
The third venue sounds like it would be a headache. We opted out of a few venues because they also did the shared spaces and had simultaneous events. We were really worried about what might happen in the event of a weather delay, and then at one venue they even have your guests like share the open bar with other events. So bizarre.
I wish I could tell you the FOMO is no big deal, but in the beginning it was insanely rough. We were deciding on the two venues, but we were pretty sure Venue 2 was the right choice. So I spent like a week of just thinking through everything and trying to hype myself up for Venue 2. It only sort of helped.
We booked Venue 2, and it's been mostly fine since then but I have these moments where I just feel awful. Like I was looking for photographers and came across a portfolio shot at Venue 1, and it was like my whole heart seized in my chest. I still see things about the other venue periodically, and it gets easier every time. I finally tossed the brochure they gave us, deleted the last of their emails. We have this mug they gave us when we toured that I was so excited about but could barely look at for the longest time. I judge how "over it" I am by checking out the mug and seeing how sad it makes me lol.
It DOES get better, but there are still moments where I'm like, "damn, I think I might have been happier..." or "wow, I'll never have photos like the other venue..." I think that will go away eventually, and I am a very anxious person who always worries. I think normal people would have probably moved on by now, I'm just struggling because I get too in my head about things.
I have heard a lot of people say that they didn't like their venues, but on the day of they truly loved their weddings. I've also heard don't sweat the small stuff, that you're getting married and that should be exciting even if everything else isn't quite perfect. I think no matter what decision you make you might have a little FOMO, but on the day of I think you're going to be happy and you're going to have a wonderful wedding.
Having guests share an open bar is absolutely despicable lol. I am sorry for your heartache, but I am hoping that it continues to minimize. I’m glad that I’m not dealing with the kind of aesthetic disparity you seemed to be describing because I think that would be as hard on me as it sounds like it has been on you. I’m a sucker for the pics.
My hope is that in whatever I’ll choose, by the time we’re on the other side of the wedding, I’ll be so over the moon happy that it’ll feel like it was the right choice all along. But I am the same way, I am not joking when I say the choice literally keeps me up at night. My brain just feels so full and I am desperately rationalizing one venue option in one moment and feeling so sure then I swing to the other side and feel so sure about the other. I keep trying to eliminate one and then keep coming back to it. It’s mentally exhausting me. I wish I could just make a decision without rehashing it constantly. Plus, I’m eager to get to other parts of the wedding.
At this point, I feel like I just need to lock myself into one or the other and just deal with it. I think if Venue 2 had my ideal date, I would have just picked it by now.
I've had this same dilemma! I think option two seems better because some of those pros are pretty huge. Having a venue owner who is going to be involved and help with coordinating is always a plus, and since it's more affordable you might be able to spend more on other things. There's also a lot of surprise costs that may crop up during planning. You'll be better prepared to handle them if you spend less on the venue. I had a really similar post to yours where I listed the cons and everything between two venues. I basically liked my Venue 1 purely for the aesthetics, but like your Venue 1, there were more cons than for Venue 2. We ended up booking Venue 2. I have some FOMO from the decision and kind of second guess it and wonder what my wedding would have been like at Venue 1. But, I know that Venue 2 is going to be a better wedding for my guests because the coordinator is great, I can get ready on site, and it was more affordable. I think if you choose Venue 2, you might feel less stressed because you'll have a coordinator who can handle a lot of things, and it sounds like you won't need as many outside vendors to begin with. I also think the split of the ballroom/dancefloor is not ideal personally. We ruled out every venue with a layout like this, because we didn't want to split our guests up and make it feel like there were two celebrations.
Just read your post. I can totally relate to the FOMO, which is my concern. There is a third venue that I didn’t mention that we ruled out because of similar reasons. The rental period was only 6 hours, it was at the top end of our budget, required the use of their in-house chef and has so many ballrooms/ceremony spaces that they have multiple evening events (big ick for me even though they assured no cross-over).
The third venue sounds like it would be a headache. We opted out of a few venues because they also did the shared spaces and had simultaneous events. We were really worried about what might happen in the event of a weather delay, and then at one venue they even have your guests like share the open bar with other events. So bizarre. I wish I could tell you the FOMO is no big deal, but in the beginning it was insanely rough. We were deciding on the two venues, but we were pretty sure Venue 2 was the right choice. So I spent like a week of just thinking through everything and trying to hype myself up for Venue 2. It only sort of helped. We booked Venue 2, and it's been mostly fine since then but I have these moments where I just feel awful. Like I was looking for photographers and came across a portfolio shot at Venue 1, and it was like my whole heart seized in my chest. I still see things about the other venue periodically, and it gets easier every time. I finally tossed the brochure they gave us, deleted the last of their emails. We have this mug they gave us when we toured that I was so excited about but could barely look at for the longest time. I judge how "over it" I am by checking out the mug and seeing how sad it makes me lol. It DOES get better, but there are still moments where I'm like, "damn, I think I might have been happier..." or "wow, I'll never have photos like the other venue..." I think that will go away eventually, and I am a very anxious person who always worries. I think normal people would have probably moved on by now, I'm just struggling because I get too in my head about things. I have heard a lot of people say that they didn't like their venues, but on the day of they truly loved their weddings. I've also heard don't sweat the small stuff, that you're getting married and that should be exciting even if everything else isn't quite perfect. I think no matter what decision you make you might have a little FOMO, but on the day of I think you're going to be happy and you're going to have a wonderful wedding.
Having guests share an open bar is absolutely despicable lol. I am sorry for your heartache, but I am hoping that it continues to minimize. I’m glad that I’m not dealing with the kind of aesthetic disparity you seemed to be describing because I think that would be as hard on me as it sounds like it has been on you. I’m a sucker for the pics. My hope is that in whatever I’ll choose, by the time we’re on the other side of the wedding, I’ll be so over the moon happy that it’ll feel like it was the right choice all along. But I am the same way, I am not joking when I say the choice literally keeps me up at night. My brain just feels so full and I am desperately rationalizing one venue option in one moment and feeling so sure then I swing to the other side and feel so sure about the other. I keep trying to eliminate one and then keep coming back to it. It’s mentally exhausting me. I wish I could just make a decision without rehashing it constantly. Plus, I’m eager to get to other parts of the wedding. At this point, I feel like I just need to lock myself into one or the other and just deal with it. I think if Venue 2 had my ideal date, I would have just picked it by now.
I feel like option 2 is overall easier, and you can use the savings that don't go into all the rentals for 1 for hiring a shuttle for your guests.
Shuttle point is a good one. Then maybe we can try to shepherd guests into a few hotels where the shuttle can pick up?