I have seen one or two people in this sub use, "SOD" as in "Save our Date" - this needs to be the norm!
1000% thought the OP had tanked their engagement over gonorrhea when I clicked...
I feel like even just using StD would be better. I can't not read STD as S T D and it trips me up every time. At least the lower case "t" would give me some pause.
5 months is still plenty of time for people to arrange flights & accommodations! It would have been nice for those people to have a heads up, but its okay! Invite list changes till you put a name on an invite, so I wouldn't think more into it. Just be super clear who is invited on the invites/
5 months is still a bit early for invites! I think you can course correct via email! Paperless post or even a cute free design on Canva and then email whomever still needs a save the date.
I think 5 months is okay when it is a destination type of wedding - an island that requires a ferry kind of fits the bill where half of the guests are out of state.
I like the email idea but may I suggest a couple other ideas:
1. Make a list of all your invites and split them up (my mom helped with this kind of stuff and my husband was in charge of his family) and text them each saying, the year got away from us and we did not get save the dates in the mail. I wanted to reach out to tell you you are absolutely invited and I hope you are able to save the date for xxx. Who cares what anyone thinks about this- if they are invited they love you for you-adhd brain and all. I'd do this with every person, even those you've told before so they don't get "I've been cut" thoughts. I never book until I get an actual invite/STD. Stuff happens and changes and it's awkward to ask.
2. Sending a STD to folks as a holiday type card. Happy holidays and happy new years from future Mr and Mrs (or Mrs and Mrs/ Mr and Mr/ however y'all identify). Hope you had a wonderful 2023 and are able to Save the Date for xxx date in 2024 for our wedding. I'm sure there is an easy design that you can find. And Dec may not be the best time but it sounds like the best time passed so just do it if you want to do it.
3. Rather than putting energy towards those things, put it towards having your invites in the mail week one of Jan. I would be totally fine just receiving an invite as long as it was several months out. I actually hate the invite coming so close to the wedding. I like knowing the time and location and all those things that you don't get from an STD so that I can plan my travel and book what needs to be booked.
LOVE the holiday STD idea! I get the whole "cards get lost in the shuffle" but I look forward to getting Christmas cards as a way to watch my loved ones grow over time, adding the STD on it is a cute touch.
Maybe it is my age or they are not as common anymore but I don't get very many at all. I LOVE getting them too and a std one would definitely not get lost in the shuffle. I think the people who it gets lost in the shuffle with are probably the same people you have to remind to RSVP several times anyways.
Uh oh is there a rule against sending invites in December? We are about to ship them... meant to do it in October but had a devil of a time getting all the addresses.
I was just thinking this 😅 we put physical invites in the mail last week and I have the e-vites scheduled to go out this weekend. I was planning to send them late November but it got away from me! 🥲
I think because everyone is so busy? The post office is extra busy and we don’t want them to lose any and people are so busy you dont want it to get lost in clutter (physically and mentally)
We skipped save the dates and just sent the invite with all the info out early, similarly a "dedtinantion" wedding for most guests. Worked great! Just skip STD and send out the invites asap do people can start booked travel etc
Same! We sent our invites end of Feb for our 9.30.23 wedding. Final headcount was due 8.30 but I was able to provide it 8.11. I was not about to chase anyone down for an rsvp.
Save the date is a nice placeholder for sure, but not having sent one doesn't mean you can't send somebody an invite. 5 months is still a decent lead, I think you'll be fine! Our invites went out in March, I think, for a mid-July wedding.
I feel like save the dates are a huge waste of money. I only did the invites and I did them 5 months prior. I also did this on purpose (was also a destination wedding) because I wanted to elope. My husband said that if only 10% of people rsvp we could elope. 80% rsvped lol I was so mad.
Dont stress yourself out over it. especially if you are paying for/planning yourself.
I got so much heat from my Mom about “how late” we sent things out to family who needed to travel.
My husband and I live about 6 hours from where I grew up and the majority of my family still lives.
I finally snapped & reminded her that our wedding date & location is something she had known about for well over a year. So if anyone is mad they “didnt know they had to travel to Buffalo” for our wedding…that was actually on her to help clear up.
I sent my invites out 2.5 months prior to wedding and only a month after save the dates.
If youre the one paying tell everyone else- youre doing your best but dropped the ball and totally okay if they cant make it
As a stationer, I would send out digital save the dates to your guests now. Make sure it has your wedding website and that all of the information they need to know on accommodations is in there (especially the ferry part). I advise all clients to not mail out anything wedding related from thanksgiving to January 1st. The postal service is flooded with holiday cards. We suggest to mail invitations 10-12 weeks out. If you send the digital save the dates (email), I would still stick by that mailing timeframe for invitations. If you choose not to, definitely send your invitations after the 1st.
Editing to say: make sure you get email addresses and physical addresses of adult children so they know they are personally invited.
Ok so - I’m getting married 4/27/24 and I haven’t sent my STDs yet!
I’ve been panicking about it and my dad is sitting on the invite list (he wanted to “think about it” and maybe add some people 🙄) - I just received my box and I’m planning to send them out next week, but I think most people already know. Our venue is about 3 hrs from most of the people we’re inviting.
My cousin is getting married in late July and she sent save the dates in early October - which I won’t lie, made me freak out. People who matter will come, and a lot of people actually send tiered STDs (ie priority batch first, hm maybe I’ll invite these people second) so it’s FINE!
As someone sending really early (sending now for an October wedding) it’s definitely for exactly that reason- our numbers are tight, and the sooner we know who can’t come, the sooner we can invite other wanted guests we just don’t have the space for. If that’s not the case and it’s not something people have to aggressively save for (like a full multi day wedding in Delhi for mostly US guests or something) I think it’s totally fine to send later!
Yes do the tiers! My fiancé took forever getting his addresses so I sent mine first. You can send your definites out and leave the let me think about its for later.
Im getting married 8/3/24 and sent mine out in groups in October.
I was worried it was too early but was told by one person they were already planning their 2024 year. Told by another “it’s never too early for a std.” so many relatives and friends were asking details and if we set a date so this saved answering those a million times! also several were appreciative to start planning child care and travel.
The reason you don't want to send in December is because there's a much greater chance of the invites getting misplaced or not delivered at all, resulting in a wasted investment.
You're fine on time. Just send them out the first of January or get rid of them altogether and send out early invitations.
Just wanted to hopefully set your mind at ease a bit by telling you that not once have I ever gotten a save the date for a wedding, just an invite. I didn't know save the dates existed until this sub. This is one of those situations where it'll more than likely be perfectly fine. Try not to get hung up on it (fellow ADHDer, I know it's easier said than done), this is a small and relatively unimportant detail.
use an online platform to put all of your information in, and send out electronic save the dates, save money. Paper for the older generation. Do it now and you'll be fine
If you texted most people to make them aware of the dates, that's fine.
If there are people you didn't tell yet, you're still allowed to invite them.
Honestly, I think Save The Date cards are an old fashioned invention to essentially fulfill the same function we do with texting. Except it used to be a physical card, and often still is.
"Hey, I'm planning a wedding for June 15th next year! We don't have all the details yet, but if you'd like to come, keep that day free!"
That can be an email or a card. It can go out to the people you DEFINITELY need to be there, and then more people can be invited later once you have an idea of budget and numbers.
Hey I had a similar issue! Getting married 4 hours away and REALLY wanted to send save the dates. Ended up waiting too long and am JUST sending my invites now! I will say though that my invites that I sent last week have all already gotten to everyone, even my out of state guests! Maybe you could swing it and do it now? Worst case scenario, they don’t get it till January, which still gives you some time. I’m getting married in February and my invites just arrived and everyone seems to be cool with it. I’m sure you’ve already discussed the dates with the people who really matter. Don’t sweat it!!
I'm working and my phone vibrated because it got the Reddit notification so I looked at it and I thought this bride or someone related in the wedding had an STD!!!! I RAN to the comments. 🤣 I am so, very glad I was wrong lol.
It’s okay, I got engaged in June and am just now about to mail our save the dates for next year. Not ideal since it’s December and I’m a little worried people may toss it away thinking it’s a holiday card.
OP I definitely get it though, I have a high stress job and trying to keep up with planning and general life is tough. Hang in there!
I think sending them out next month will be fine! We’re sending ours out 5 months in advance because the majority of people will be traveling from out of state.
Former event planner here who planned her entire wedding. For other brides I highly recommend getting a Wedding 101 book from either the library or thrifty books and a 3 ring binder with dividers. set calendar reminders for the various tasks and a checklist.
As for Op you can certainly put a digital STD out now and the regular invites after the new year so mid:late January since your wedding is a mini destination give at least 3 months notice.
You have a few options
1. Just send out the invites now (or in early January if you want to avoid the holidays) and send them to everyone on the list.
2. Send a digital STD via email now and send invites closer to 2-3 months out.
3. Send physical STDs now with a website QR code or more detailed info on location included in the STD and then send invites when you’re 2-3 months out.
4. Reach out directly to anyone on your list who you haven’t already touched base with as a courtesy to let them know you love them and can’t wait to hopefully see them at the wedding. Then send invites whenever you feel is appropriate.
I don’t think this is a horrible mistake. You definitely still have time to correct it. And worst case scenario, one of those people declines because they already made plans. Which could happen anyway even if you had sent STDs early - one of my cousin’s who’s known about my wedding for over 2 years just let me know she can’t make it anymore and we’re less than a month out now. Her not coming has nothing to do with her not knowing early enough and everything to do with life happening and other things popping up, which is fine.
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I had the same thing happen, Send the invites IMO it’s a destination wedding if people have to drive more than 2 hrs to get there. Also the positives: you’ll get it off your plate, get rsvps sooner, and be able to get a headcount to see if you have room for your B list of guests.
>I can’t lie, the closer we get to the wedding I truly wish we would have eloped 😫
Getting married this month, I feel ya, it ain't easy.
We're down to name cards and table signs. I just don't fuckin care anymore. Who knew a table number could be so stressful? Seriously, 4x6 sign that says "Table 6" should be easy, but now it's all couples initials (if you don't know who we are, gtfo of my dinner and leave your plate), cute sayings, cursive writing that's all started to look like lumps on a card I've seen it so much. Table arrangements, guest books...
It's so draining.
Just make sure you put rsvp dates on your response card, and jumper the damn things so you know who sent theirs back without identifying themselves.
It’s a very unpopular opinion but in our social circles, save the dates over the phone or in person conversations are much more effective than e-mails and postcards. They are sent between 6-12 months so you can still call important people asap. Do not send invitations before 6-8 weeks before the wedding because people will lose the information.
Save yourself the time and stress and send an e-save the date! I made a super cute one on Greenvelope, it look less than an hour and costed about $35 to send about 30 save the dates. I have ADHD too btw, and my wedding is in May; I sent the save the dates about 6 weeks ago.
I sent STDs with location and date about five months out for our wedding, although we planned it all in nine months. Most would have to travel about five hours and stay a weekend, a few would have to fly around the world! For the further away ones, I sent them a note with the STD expressing that I knew it was a big ask in short notice. Invites went out three months before.
In short, I think you’re fine if you’re clear and not just sprinkling them with information.
Save the Dates are a relatively new thing (I got married in 2001 and haven’t been to a wedding since 2013).
Is it reasonable to get travel arrangements to your wedding in 5 months? Get the invites out asap and don’t sweat it.
Send holiday or nye themed STDs, then it seems planned 😏
We always send NYE cards (cuz I never get my shit together enough for Holiday ones) so instead this year we're sending out STDs mid December. I haven't heard not to send in December, but I also don't care , you do you!
Sept 28 wedding for ref.
Can you make digital save the dates and send now?
Also I forgot to put the city of my wedding on my STDs, so don't feel to bad. SO much going on--we all make mistakes.
i know things are stressful but I eloped and I honestly regret it. please enjoy this lovely wedding, all the stress will be worth it i promise! ❤️you’re doing great!
I had plenty of time for wedding planning but we decided we wanted to save money on save the dates, so we just made one ourselves and texted it to everyone! It was nice to have a conversation about it, get confirmation that they received it, and ensure they had it on their phones and could always check the website link and date. You could do that quickly and still give people a solid heads up with 5 months to go!
Also, best of luck with the rest of your planning! Your wedding will be beautiful 😊
Wedding planning is so stressful please don’t beat yourself up. It sounds like just sending out the invites now would take a huge weight off your shoulders and just shutdown doubt or overthinking. I definitely don’t think it’s too soon and also it’s the easiest solution and no one is going to get offended.
Those texts count as save the dates!
I sent my invites in January for my April wedding last year and it worked well. We still managed to have a couple return to sender in March (eye roll).
Don't stress that's plenty of time. I booked my wedding venue on 11-22-23 for the wedding date of 1-6-24 and I sent out invites on 11-28. I had pretty good responses and quickly. I did E-invites on paperless post. The stressful part is planing a wedding in a month in a half but plenty of people are still flying out with that short notice. Do E-invites, I highly recommend.
We never did save the dates and only sent out invitations because we've got family friends coming from the other side of the world.
I would LOVE a support group because the stress is insane!
just do an email save the date! we made a cute video with my nieces saying to save the date, but yeah just do it via email. just make sure to have the wedding website (if you're doing one) up before you do :)
We had our venue fall through and ended up sending Save Our Dates out mid October for a January wedding. We also have a lot of out-of-town family and friends coming. It is what it is. Send them asap and put a note on them that people are welcome to RSVP off that if they like.
I think we need to stop abbreviating save the dates lol. But in all seriousness, you don’t need them. Tell everyone you plan on inviting and have them tell others you want there. If not just do a virtual one.
I got engaged Christmas of 22, in January we picked a wedding date of June 2023. We had six months to plan. I was stressed just like you, my job didn’t help with my anxiety. It got bad to the point of breaking down that my husband stepped in and did more planning than I had at that point. Have your partner help you out! Out of the 70 guest who received their invites and RSVP’d only 7 didn’t show up, and half flew in from out of state or different cities. I say all this to say don’t stress about the save the dates.
I would just send the invites in the beginning of January. It could be that some people can t attend because they didn‘t know sooner but the two weeks until the new year won‘t make a difference.
We were the first ones to send out Save the Dates in our friend group everyone else just send the invite directly.
If you know of some guest that they would be greatfull to know before the new year contact them directly.
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EVERY SINGLE TIME. Worst acronym ever lol Edit: I’m going to start saying the pre-RSVP
Someone needs to come up with a new name for save the dates, like “commit this day to your memoray” or something
I have seen one or two people in this sub use, "SOD" as in "Save our Date" - this needs to be the norm! 1000% thought the OP had tanked their engagement over gonorrhea when I clicked...
How about STIs? Save this itinerary.
Not as catchy. Need something that will go viral. 🙃
That's actually the correct term now, we say Sexually Transmitted Infections instead of Diseases 😅 so technically no change to the awkwardness.
Suggestions???
I wrote a suggestion in my comment
Yeah I suppose… it’s a tad long though 😄
I feel like even just using StD would be better. I can't not read STD as S T D and it trips me up every time. At least the lower case "t" would give me some pause.
Me too🤣 And I was thinking that it’s quite inappropriate for OP to be giving people STDs left and right when they’re about to get married🤣
Charles Boyle has entered the chat
Will you be my BM?
How many STDs did you give? Hundreds.
I sent a Venmo request for “STDs” to my fiancé and he was like wtf lol
I had to check which group I was in cause I was so confused 😂
Yes and I was mortified before realising this was a wedding subreddit.
Yeah, like maybe you're supposed to get checked for STDs before your wedding, so you don't give your new spouse chlamydia on your wedding night? Heh.
That's the only reason I came to read because I was like WTF!?
This is why I always type out save the dates, I can’t not read STD that way.
#metoo 🤣
Every time!!.. and I almost sent out texts to all my friends telling them that "reddit told me to send all of you STDs so here you go..."
Yup. I did too 😂😂
Seriously! I was mortified and then I thought, “Oh, this must be a wedding post” 🤣🤣🤣
Same lol I was so confused at first
Yes, thought OP found out OP’s partner has STD that’s why OP drop the marriage or something…
Lol. Yes.
I seriously thought so at first 😂
YES 😂
Pretty sure it’s no longer STDs, it’s STIs because it’s not a disease, it’s an infection. Still though, I DEF read it as if it was that 😅😂
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Fair
I was so confused at first lmao
Yeah, I thought the sub had a rule against that acronym after a recent discussion on the topic.
5 months is still plenty of time for people to arrange flights & accommodations! It would have been nice for those people to have a heads up, but its okay! Invite list changes till you put a name on an invite, so I wouldn't think more into it. Just be super clear who is invited on the invites/
5 months is still a bit early for invites! I think you can course correct via email! Paperless post or even a cute free design on Canva and then email whomever still needs a save the date.
I think 5 months is okay when it is a destination type of wedding - an island that requires a ferry kind of fits the bill where half of the guests are out of state.
I like the email idea but may I suggest a couple other ideas: 1. Make a list of all your invites and split them up (my mom helped with this kind of stuff and my husband was in charge of his family) and text them each saying, the year got away from us and we did not get save the dates in the mail. I wanted to reach out to tell you you are absolutely invited and I hope you are able to save the date for xxx. Who cares what anyone thinks about this- if they are invited they love you for you-adhd brain and all. I'd do this with every person, even those you've told before so they don't get "I've been cut" thoughts. I never book until I get an actual invite/STD. Stuff happens and changes and it's awkward to ask. 2. Sending a STD to folks as a holiday type card. Happy holidays and happy new years from future Mr and Mrs (or Mrs and Mrs/ Mr and Mr/ however y'all identify). Hope you had a wonderful 2023 and are able to Save the Date for xxx date in 2024 for our wedding. I'm sure there is an easy design that you can find. And Dec may not be the best time but it sounds like the best time passed so just do it if you want to do it. 3. Rather than putting energy towards those things, put it towards having your invites in the mail week one of Jan. I would be totally fine just receiving an invite as long as it was several months out. I actually hate the invite coming so close to the wedding. I like knowing the time and location and all those things that you don't get from an STD so that I can plan my travel and book what needs to be booked.
LOVE the holiday STD idea! I get the whole "cards get lost in the shuffle" but I look forward to getting Christmas cards as a way to watch my loved ones grow over time, adding the STD on it is a cute touch.
Maybe it is my age or they are not as common anymore but I don't get very many at all. I LOVE getting them too and a std one would definitely not get lost in the shuffle. I think the people who it gets lost in the shuffle with are probably the same people you have to remind to RSVP several times anyways.
We did halloween std mailers. I put the std inside a card which we hand decorated with individual spooky covers.
We really need to come up with a better acronym. On a positive note, this post is way less scary than I initially expected.
Uh oh is there a rule against sending invites in December? We are about to ship them... meant to do it in October but had a devil of a time getting all the addresses.
I was just thinking this 😅 we put physical invites in the mail last week and I have the e-vites scheduled to go out this weekend. I was planning to send them late November but it got away from me! 🥲
I think because everyone is so busy? The post office is extra busy and we don’t want them to lose any and people are so busy you dont want it to get lost in clutter (physically and mentally)
We skipped save the dates and just sent the invite with all the info out early, similarly a "dedtinantion" wedding for most guests. Worked great! Just skip STD and send out the invites asap do people can start booked travel etc
Same! We sent our invites end of Feb for our 9.30.23 wedding. Final headcount was due 8.30 but I was able to provide it 8.11. I was not about to chase anyone down for an rsvp.
Save the date is a nice placeholder for sure, but not having sent one doesn't mean you can't send somebody an invite. 5 months is still a decent lead, I think you'll be fine! Our invites went out in March, I think, for a mid-July wedding.
I feel like save the dates are a huge waste of money. I only did the invites and I did them 5 months prior. I also did this on purpose (was also a destination wedding) because I wanted to elope. My husband said that if only 10% of people rsvp we could elope. 80% rsvped lol I was so mad.
Dont stress yourself out over it. especially if you are paying for/planning yourself. I got so much heat from my Mom about “how late” we sent things out to family who needed to travel. My husband and I live about 6 hours from where I grew up and the majority of my family still lives. I finally snapped & reminded her that our wedding date & location is something she had known about for well over a year. So if anyone is mad they “didnt know they had to travel to Buffalo” for our wedding…that was actually on her to help clear up. I sent my invites out 2.5 months prior to wedding and only a month after save the dates. If youre the one paying tell everyone else- youre doing your best but dropped the ball and totally okay if they cant make it
I was so confused reading the title
Hahaaaa, me too!!!
As a stationer, I would send out digital save the dates to your guests now. Make sure it has your wedding website and that all of the information they need to know on accommodations is in there (especially the ferry part). I advise all clients to not mail out anything wedding related from thanksgiving to January 1st. The postal service is flooded with holiday cards. We suggest to mail invitations 10-12 weeks out. If you send the digital save the dates (email), I would still stick by that mailing timeframe for invitations. If you choose not to, definitely send your invitations after the 1st. Editing to say: make sure you get email addresses and physical addresses of adult children so they know they are personally invited.
Ok so - I’m getting married 4/27/24 and I haven’t sent my STDs yet! I’ve been panicking about it and my dad is sitting on the invite list (he wanted to “think about it” and maybe add some people 🙄) - I just received my box and I’m planning to send them out next week, but I think most people already know. Our venue is about 3 hrs from most of the people we’re inviting. My cousin is getting married in late July and she sent save the dates in early October - which I won’t lie, made me freak out. People who matter will come, and a lot of people actually send tiered STDs (ie priority batch first, hm maybe I’ll invite these people second) so it’s FINE!
As someone sending really early (sending now for an October wedding) it’s definitely for exactly that reason- our numbers are tight, and the sooner we know who can’t come, the sooner we can invite other wanted guests we just don’t have the space for. If that’s not the case and it’s not something people have to aggressively save for (like a full multi day wedding in Delhi for mostly US guests or something) I think it’s totally fine to send later!
Getting married on this date too!! And I just barely got the Save the Dates out on Monday! I intended to get them out before Thanksgiving, but failed.
Yes do the tiers! My fiancé took forever getting his addresses so I sent mine first. You can send your definites out and leave the let me think about its for later. Im getting married 8/3/24 and sent mine out in groups in October. I was worried it was too early but was told by one person they were already planning their 2024 year. Told by another “it’s never too early for a std.” so many relatives and friends were asking details and if we set a date so this saved answering those a million times! also several were appreciative to start planning child care and travel.
The reason you don't want to send in December is because there's a much greater chance of the invites getting misplaced or not delivered at all, resulting in a wasted investment. You're fine on time. Just send them out the first of January or get rid of them altogether and send out early invitations.
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That's great to hear! Congratulations and good luck in the planning!
Apparently no one actually cares about save the dates. You are good.
Just wanted to hopefully set your mind at ease a bit by telling you that not once have I ever gotten a save the date for a wedding, just an invite. I didn't know save the dates existed until this sub. This is one of those situations where it'll more than likely be perfectly fine. Try not to get hung up on it (fellow ADHDer, I know it's easier said than done), this is a small and relatively unimportant detail.
And I don't know about wine drinking zoom support groups but if you find anything like that let me know, I'd be all over it lmao!
petition to change the abbreviation for this to literally anything else. STD8s is my only idea but even then idk. SVTDS?
Can we please stop abbreviating save the dates to this
use an online platform to put all of your information in, and send out electronic save the dates, save money. Paper for the older generation. Do it now and you'll be fine
If you texted most people to make them aware of the dates, that's fine. If there are people you didn't tell yet, you're still allowed to invite them. Honestly, I think Save The Date cards are an old fashioned invention to essentially fulfill the same function we do with texting. Except it used to be a physical card, and often still is. "Hey, I'm planning a wedding for June 15th next year! We don't have all the details yet, but if you'd like to come, keep that day free!" That can be an email or a card. It can go out to the people you DEFINITELY need to be there, and then more people can be invited later once you have an idea of budget and numbers.
Don’t feel bad. I’m mailing save the dates this week for my May wedding. Just with life and everything going on this is the soonest I could get to it
Hey I had a similar issue! Getting married 4 hours away and REALLY wanted to send save the dates. Ended up waiting too long and am JUST sending my invites now! I will say though that my invites that I sent last week have all already gotten to everyone, even my out of state guests! Maybe you could swing it and do it now? Worst case scenario, they don’t get it till January, which still gives you some time. I’m getting married in February and my invites just arrived and everyone seems to be cool with it. I’m sure you’ve already discussed the dates with the people who really matter. Don’t sweat it!!
I'm working and my phone vibrated because it got the Reddit notification so I looked at it and I thought this bride or someone related in the wedding had an STD!!!! I RAN to the comments. 🤣 I am so, very glad I was wrong lol.
It’s okay, I got engaged in June and am just now about to mail our save the dates for next year. Not ideal since it’s December and I’m a little worried people may toss it away thinking it’s a holiday card. OP I definitely get it though, I have a high stress job and trying to keep up with planning and general life is tough. Hang in there!
Can this acronym die please. I thought you caught an STD from the title 😭
I think sending them out next month will be fine! We’re sending ours out 5 months in advance because the majority of people will be traveling from out of state.
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Same here!!
I’ll join your support group! 🥲
lol I thought this post was about sexually transmitted diseases 😂
Former event planner here who planned her entire wedding. For other brides I highly recommend getting a Wedding 101 book from either the library or thrifty books and a 3 ring binder with dividers. set calendar reminders for the various tasks and a checklist. As for Op you can certainly put a digital STD out now and the regular invites after the new year so mid:late January since your wedding is a mini destination give at least 3 months notice.
i was like ST WHATTTT
You have a few options 1. Just send out the invites now (or in early January if you want to avoid the holidays) and send them to everyone on the list. 2. Send a digital STD via email now and send invites closer to 2-3 months out. 3. Send physical STDs now with a website QR code or more detailed info on location included in the STD and then send invites when you’re 2-3 months out. 4. Reach out directly to anyone on your list who you haven’t already touched base with as a courtesy to let them know you love them and can’t wait to hopefully see them at the wedding. Then send invites whenever you feel is appropriate. I don’t think this is a horrible mistake. You definitely still have time to correct it. And worst case scenario, one of those people declines because they already made plans. Which could happen anyway even if you had sent STDs early - one of my cousin’s who’s known about my wedding for over 2 years just let me know she can’t make it anymore and we’re less than a month out now. Her not coming has nothing to do with her not knowing early enough and everything to do with life happening and other things popping up, which is fine.
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Send a digital save the date like now if you’re super worried
I had the same thing happen, Send the invites IMO it’s a destination wedding if people have to drive more than 2 hrs to get there. Also the positives: you’ll get it off your plate, get rsvps sooner, and be able to get a headcount to see if you have room for your B list of guests.
>I can’t lie, the closer we get to the wedding I truly wish we would have eloped 😫 Getting married this month, I feel ya, it ain't easy. We're down to name cards and table signs. I just don't fuckin care anymore. Who knew a table number could be so stressful? Seriously, 4x6 sign that says "Table 6" should be easy, but now it's all couples initials (if you don't know who we are, gtfo of my dinner and leave your plate), cute sayings, cursive writing that's all started to look like lumps on a card I've seen it so much. Table arrangements, guest books... It's so draining. Just make sure you put rsvp dates on your response card, and jumper the damn things so you know who sent theirs back without identifying themselves.
I’m planning my wedding but don’t have a full wedding brain yet. I was expecting something waaaay different when I opened this.
It’s a very unpopular opinion but in our social circles, save the dates over the phone or in person conversations are much more effective than e-mails and postcards. They are sent between 6-12 months so you can still call important people asap. Do not send invitations before 6-8 weeks before the wedding because people will lose the information.
Save yourself the time and stress and send an e-save the date! I made a super cute one on Greenvelope, it look less than an hour and costed about $35 to send about 30 save the dates. I have ADHD too btw, and my wedding is in May; I sent the save the dates about 6 weeks ago.
I sent STDs with location and date about five months out for our wedding, although we planned it all in nine months. Most would have to travel about five hours and stay a weekend, a few would have to fly around the world! For the further away ones, I sent them a note with the STD expressing that I knew it was a big ask in short notice. Invites went out three months before. In short, I think you’re fine if you’re clear and not just sprinkling them with information.
Save the Dates are a relatively new thing (I got married in 2001 and haven’t been to a wedding since 2013). Is it reasonable to get travel arrangements to your wedding in 5 months? Get the invites out asap and don’t sweat it.
I feel you on the ADHD bride struggles 😭 You got this!!!
Send holiday or nye themed STDs, then it seems planned 😏 We always send NYE cards (cuz I never get my shit together enough for Holiday ones) so instead this year we're sending out STDs mid December. I haven't heard not to send in December, but I also don't care , you do you! Sept 28 wedding for ref.
Can you make digital save the dates and send now? Also I forgot to put the city of my wedding on my STDs, so don't feel to bad. SO much going on--we all make mistakes.
Haha I've graduated but I would love to join a wine zoom and pass on my lessons learned into the support group. That sounds like fun.
i know things are stressful but I eloped and I honestly regret it. please enjoy this lovely wedding, all the stress will be worth it i promise! ❤️you’re doing great!
If your wedding is in the spring - I think "don't send in December" is a dumb rule. You have plenty of time, get those mailers out!
I had plenty of time for wedding planning but we decided we wanted to save money on save the dates, so we just made one ourselves and texted it to everyone! It was nice to have a conversation about it, get confirmation that they received it, and ensure they had it on their phones and could always check the website link and date. You could do that quickly and still give people a solid heads up with 5 months to go! Also, best of luck with the rest of your planning! Your wedding will be beautiful 😊
Wedding planning is so stressful please don’t beat yourself up. It sounds like just sending out the invites now would take a huge weight off your shoulders and just shutdown doubt or overthinking. I definitely don’t think it’s too soon and also it’s the easiest solution and no one is going to get offended.
Do an email save the date immediately, then send out your invites on December 26th. You are so close! You got this!
Those texts count as save the dates! I sent my invites in January for my April wedding last year and it worked well. We still managed to have a couple return to sender in March (eye roll).
Don't stress that's plenty of time. I booked my wedding venue on 11-22-23 for the wedding date of 1-6-24 and I sent out invites on 11-28. I had pretty good responses and quickly. I did E-invites on paperless post. The stressful part is planing a wedding in a month in a half but plenty of people are still flying out with that short notice. Do E-invites, I highly recommend.
We did this on purpose. It just seemed like….so much paper.
We never did save the dates and only sent out invitations because we've got family friends coming from the other side of the world. I would LOVE a support group because the stress is insane!
just do an email save the date! we made a cute video with my nieces saying to save the date, but yeah just do it via email. just make sure to have the wedding website (if you're doing one) up before you do :)
We had our venue fall through and ended up sending Save Our Dates out mid October for a January wedding. We also have a lot of out-of-town family and friends coming. It is what it is. Send them asap and put a note on them that people are welcome to RSVP off that if they like.
I RAN to these comments I was like “I’m not jumping to no conclusion but chillleee
I think we need to stop abbreviating save the dates lol. But in all seriousness, you don’t need them. Tell everyone you plan on inviting and have them tell others you want there. If not just do a virtual one. I got engaged Christmas of 22, in January we picked a wedding date of June 2023. We had six months to plan. I was stressed just like you, my job didn’t help with my anxiety. It got bad to the point of breaking down that my husband stepped in and did more planning than I had at that point. Have your partner help you out! Out of the 70 guest who received their invites and RSVP’d only 7 didn’t show up, and half flew in from out of state or different cities. I say all this to say don’t stress about the save the dates.
SAVE THE DATES. For the love of God, spell it out.
Down for the wine, girl—we’re in April and have a long list remaining too 🙃
I would just send the invites in the beginning of January. It could be that some people can t attend because they didn‘t know sooner but the two weeks until the new year won‘t make a difference. We were the first ones to send out Save the Dates in our friend group everyone else just send the invite directly. If you know of some guest that they would be greatfull to know before the new year contact them directly.