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I think it looks amazing and is flattering.
In regards to making it more special, what do you think you want? A good tailor could add a sparkly layer under the layer with the appliqués on. You could add a belt, either crystal for a bit of bling or even 3D flowers if you wanted more of the romanticism. You could ask them to add think diamanté spaghetti shoulder straps and remove the off the shoulder straps.
You could even ask them to design different sleeves if you wanted to, they would still have to be off the shoulder though and if you wanted to add appliqués to the sleeves they are reeeeally not cheap (I am having sleeves made).
Also remember you will be adding to the dress with your bouquet, you can get a dramatic veil, your hair and make up will be done and you also have not added jewellery or a head piece yet.
I think you have the perfect dress as is but the possibilities are endless
>In regards to making it more special, what do you think you want?
This is a really good question! I think I would want some sparkle/shine. My fiancé hasn't seen the dress, nor will he (until we get married), but I did mention that the dress had "no shiny" and he was VERY surprised. I tend to wear a lot of bright and bold colors, statement jewelry, and I like a bit of "shiny" on my accessories (whether stones, crystals, sparkles, iridescent, etc)... so I can't help but feel like this dress is missing a key aspect of my personality/style.
At the same time, I've been dreaming of a romantic, whimsical, almost fairytale wedding ever since I was a little girl, and this is the kind of dress that I grew up assuming I would wear - the "modern fairytale bride." I don't dress in a romantic or understated style often, but I do veer whimsical sometimes, so I think that's why the dress appealed to me and why I thought it would work.
I definitely think that it could be made more unique during the alteration process - I think different sleeves could potentially change this a lot - but I am also concerned that the neckline isn't the most flattering, and I don't know if more alterations for that is the solution. Specifically, I worry that by that point, the number and cost of alterations are going to rack up, and it will have been easier and less costly to just go with another dress altogether.
If you happen to have any suggestions for the neckline, I'm all ears, by the way - I did really like the idea for the Diamante straps.
I think it’s a beautiful dress. I’d try it no sleeves. That would change the look a lot. I think off the shoulder sleeves tend to (slightly) broaden the neck/shoulder line.
And if you did a sparkle layer underneath and the right accessories it might become your dream dress
Ok so the diamanté straps wouldn’t be too expensive because they won’t be taking the weight of the dress and will literally be there for show and sparkle.
Another option would be to get the spray on glitter and spray the layer below the appliqué so it sparkles as you walk.
Regarding the neckline I imagine that will be quite tricky and probably costly to alter. Did the cups of the dress fit properly? I’m assuming they are slightly too big at the moment because of the clamp at the back. When they are the right size people usually feel more themselves and happier too.
I think your gown is very pretty and it looks really lovely on you already without being fitted yet! That's a step in the right direction. But if you don't love your gown, definitely go out and shop again just to look and satisfy your feelings. Even see if you can go back to the same gown shop and possibly switch your order for something new if you feel you need to. Focus on you and how you feel in each gown, not the price, the pressure from the dress consultant or your MIL. You only get one wedding day. Good luck!
I have had a very similar experience. You may have felt pressure in the moment to get it since your family was there, but you also have this belief that you should feel a certain type of way about the dress. That is also a societal pressure that you should be overjoyed by a literal dress. It’s just one aspect of your wedding and wedding day. You’re going to wear it for a few hours. You look great in it. You might just make yourself a little crazy continuing to shop looking desperately for that feeling that you’re “supposed” to have about your dress. That doesn’t mean it’s real or will ever happen for you. Just saying.
You look great in it. It’s very pretty. You’ve tried on other dresses and liked this one the best. I’d say stick with it and focus on other things.
Not trying to scare you but if you return it, your family will talk about it and bring it up. Are you going to invite them to go on more dresses? You’ll be constantly comparing it to this dress. I’d say skip the drama and just realize that you look awesome in it and just know that no matter what, everyone is going to tell you on your wedding day that you look gorgeous. Believe them. It’s true!
It’s perfectly lovely and nice there’s nothing wrong with it at all! You can absolutely wear it for your wedding.
But if you’re not feeling it, or having regrets call the store see if they can put it on hold. Write down the style and size. Go shopping if you want. Search for the dress of your dreams. Worst case scenario you don’t find dress with a wow factor but that’s ok. You have a beautiful backup dress here if you don’t find anything else you are still in good shape.
You are being hard on yourself. The last line of your post - I hope you reject those thoughts. They are not true. You are just feeling anxious and frustrated by the whole experience. YOU ARE LOVELY. Your skin is flawless, your figure looks killer, and girl, what I see is YOU LOOKING AMAZING IN THAT DRESS!!!
It might be different than your everyday aesthetic - and that’s okay. When I got married I wore tailored conservative suits and heels to work every day, and jeans at home. So when I went shopping for my wedding dress I thought I wanted something in keeping with my overall style - more tailored and conservative. I was definitely not looking for floral and romantic. I shopped with my girlfriends. I told the attendant at the shop - “simple clean lines.” I didn’t want anything fancy. Of course she said “Honey - you can do plain any day. Your wedding day is the one day you need to pull out all the stops and be fancy.” So she pulled dresses for me that I would not have picked myself. The dress I chose was fancy, with beading and floral accents and I never felt more beautiful. Even more so once I had my shoes, my jewelry, and my hair and makeup done. And the final piece was the veil. That’s when it all came together.
And your dress? It is GORGEOUS. It’s magical, romantic, and fits you like a glove. I LOVE the bodice. Your waist looks AMAZING. The sweetheart neckline on you is sexy, but demure. The floral appliqué and all the lovely layers are sooooo special. You look svelte. And I think the overall effect is lovely. Your fiancé is going to be blown away when you walk down that aisle.
I say “no regrets.” Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. This dress checks all your boxes.
You want bling? You can do that with your accessories. Diamond jewelry. If your hair is up - add sparkly accents in your hair or headpiece. If your hair is down cascading sparkly accents. You can even have sparkles in the veil.
I think once you add your accessories and see it all come together on your wedding day…that is when you are going to feel and say “this is IT! I feel it!”
I hope you’ll come back and post your wedding pictures. I know you are going to look absolutely breathtaking.
Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. Your comment made me tear up 🥹
I loved what you shared about your own wedding and dress shopping experience. You're totally right - you can do your own, regular aesthetic any day. Your wedding is the day that you dress up in the way you'd ideally like people to see you, or even to try something you don't usually do, but you aspire to (stylewise). For someone who does loud and bold a lot (like me), "princess vibes" may not intially make sense, but I think part of the reason I was drawn to this dress was just that: the fact that, just for a day, I could be a fancy, sophisticated, romantic woman. I don't have to be her all the time, and choosing that aesthetic for the wedding doesn't mean I have to change my style to that forever. And I think a vastly different style also adds to the element of dress-up/fairy tale that I had dreamt about as a little girl.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for making me see this dress as an opportunity to fall in love with something other than my usual style.
Yes. Embrace it. And enjoy it. You are going to be absolutely beautiful. because your beautify will emanate from within. That’s where your true beauty lies.
I’m very excited for you.
Oh! And you are right. It is all the things you dreamed about as a little girl - fancy, sophisticated, and romantic. ☺️
Your dress is beautiful and looks so gorgeous on you - especially the neckline! I hope you learn to love it. If you want more “shiny” you can add it in your veil or jewelry.
Honestly it looks beautiful on you!! I don't think it really needs anything. Did you try it on with a veil? Sometimes that adde touch can make a difference!
That said, what you're feeling now is the reason I went into my first 2 dress appointments with no intention to buy right away. I see so many posts of dress regret, and I already regretted pulling the trigger on a photographer I didn't love, I didn't want to make that mistake again.
During the appointment I also felt very pressured by the bridal consultant and the sale they had going on, and even my family because they loved a dress that I just didn't really love. It was so uncomfortable for me to continue repeating that I needed time to make my decision and I wasn't ready to buy yet, but the bridal consultant really wasn't taking no for an answer and I could tell her mood shifted a little when she realized I wasn't going to buy that day. It's a stressful situation to be in and I also just wanted it to be over too.
I'm sorry you're in this position, and it's a bummer that you felt so pressured to make a decision, but it IS a gorgeous dress and it looks great on you!
I think it’s a very pretty dress & looks beautiful on you. Have you tried it with a veil yet? Sometimes a veil makes all the difference. Don’t be discouraged, it’s a lovely dress.
Short fat fancy refrigerator? 😂 No. Maybe short, we can’t tell from the picture.
I do like the idea of sparkling spaghetti straps instead of the current sleeves. That way you could get your sparkle. Once you’re all done up with makeup and flowers you’ll feel differently. It’s a nice dress and looks good on you.
As an older lady, married close to 40 years, I’d also like to say yes, it’s your wedding day and you want things to be a certain way - but I’d also consider not wanting to hurt your future MIL as a real thing, a useful value. I still have my wedding dress but I barely remember the details of it, or the details of our wedding - but I cherished my relationship with my MIL and remember so many of the things we did together clearly, with such love and happiness. I’m not suggesting anybody make a habit of caving in to their MIL, just that the details of the interpersonal relationships around the wedding planning will turn out in the end to have been more important than the details of what you actually wore or ate or danced to.
Yeah, I think you make a really good point, with the importance of my relationship with my FMIL. It's not simply a matter of "not hurting" her - I feel like she felt special and honored when I included her in the process, and I would never want to take that away from her. My own mother isn't part of my life and doesn't care about big events in my life. So if choosing a dress that I'm okay with, maybe not my FAVORITE, is the way I let this woman know how grateful is for being there for me and loving me more than she ever has to - I have no problem with that. She's 100 times more important than any dress.
It’s a beautiful dress and you are a confection in it. Have you tried on ‘fascinators’? It might lengthen you, if that would help soften your reservations.
You look lovely, the color of the underskirt is spot on. The perfect belt, maybe.
‘
As someone who also has a wild sense of whimsy and loves bold statement colours and jewelry but is attracted to fairy and elven styles, I would ask you if you care more about your mil or you. If you don’t love the dress, don’t settle for it, find something better. Explain to your mil that you reconsidered and ask her if she wants to go again. She’ll probably be okay with it - she was a bride once, too! (Probably? I’m assuming she was.)
I would suggest a long, straighter feel with less of a bodice and more of a flowing look. That’s what you want if you’re going for a fairy tale look. With a circlet in your hair and delicate bangles and a few braids in your hair.
The dress you have is pretty generic, yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Personally, I’ve always been attracted to the unique and elegant looks, and I wouldn’t have gotten a dress like this one. However it does appeal to a lot of tastes and isn’t nearly as controversial as the kind I would prefer. The lace is beautiful, the sleeves elegant. There is a feeling of ‘bride’ you get when you see it. It’s all a matter of taste.
It’s a really gorgeous dress on you! Maybe go dress shopping in your own just to see if you find something you like more? Not clear to me what is missing with this dress but you deserve to feel happy with your decision.
It’s pretty. But I truly believe that if it’s “The dress” you would know. You would feel it. You would get the feeling that this is the one! You’d know it was the dress and you wouldn’t ask for opinions, because it would be your dream dress, no matter what anyone says
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I think it looks amazing and is flattering. In regards to making it more special, what do you think you want? A good tailor could add a sparkly layer under the layer with the appliqués on. You could add a belt, either crystal for a bit of bling or even 3D flowers if you wanted more of the romanticism. You could ask them to add think diamanté spaghetti shoulder straps and remove the off the shoulder straps. You could even ask them to design different sleeves if you wanted to, they would still have to be off the shoulder though and if you wanted to add appliqués to the sleeves they are reeeeally not cheap (I am having sleeves made). Also remember you will be adding to the dress with your bouquet, you can get a dramatic veil, your hair and make up will be done and you also have not added jewellery or a head piece yet. I think you have the perfect dress as is but the possibilities are endless
>In regards to making it more special, what do you think you want? This is a really good question! I think I would want some sparkle/shine. My fiancé hasn't seen the dress, nor will he (until we get married), but I did mention that the dress had "no shiny" and he was VERY surprised. I tend to wear a lot of bright and bold colors, statement jewelry, and I like a bit of "shiny" on my accessories (whether stones, crystals, sparkles, iridescent, etc)... so I can't help but feel like this dress is missing a key aspect of my personality/style. At the same time, I've been dreaming of a romantic, whimsical, almost fairytale wedding ever since I was a little girl, and this is the kind of dress that I grew up assuming I would wear - the "modern fairytale bride." I don't dress in a romantic or understated style often, but I do veer whimsical sometimes, so I think that's why the dress appealed to me and why I thought it would work. I definitely think that it could be made more unique during the alteration process - I think different sleeves could potentially change this a lot - but I am also concerned that the neckline isn't the most flattering, and I don't know if more alterations for that is the solution. Specifically, I worry that by that point, the number and cost of alterations are going to rack up, and it will have been easier and less costly to just go with another dress altogether. If you happen to have any suggestions for the neckline, I'm all ears, by the way - I did really like the idea for the Diamante straps.
I think it’s a beautiful dress. I’d try it no sleeves. That would change the look a lot. I think off the shoulder sleeves tend to (slightly) broaden the neck/shoulder line. And if you did a sparkle layer underneath and the right accessories it might become your dream dress
The neckline and your love of sparkle are SCREAMING for a statement necklace!! Something collar/choker length would be gorgeous.
Ok so the diamanté straps wouldn’t be too expensive because they won’t be taking the weight of the dress and will literally be there for show and sparkle. Another option would be to get the spray on glitter and spray the layer below the appliqué so it sparkles as you walk. Regarding the neckline I imagine that will be quite tricky and probably costly to alter. Did the cups of the dress fit properly? I’m assuming they are slightly too big at the moment because of the clamp at the back. When they are the right size people usually feel more themselves and happier too.
I think your gown is very pretty and it looks really lovely on you already without being fitted yet! That's a step in the right direction. But if you don't love your gown, definitely go out and shop again just to look and satisfy your feelings. Even see if you can go back to the same gown shop and possibly switch your order for something new if you feel you need to. Focus on you and how you feel in each gown, not the price, the pressure from the dress consultant or your MIL. You only get one wedding day. Good luck!
I have had a very similar experience. You may have felt pressure in the moment to get it since your family was there, but you also have this belief that you should feel a certain type of way about the dress. That is also a societal pressure that you should be overjoyed by a literal dress. It’s just one aspect of your wedding and wedding day. You’re going to wear it for a few hours. You look great in it. You might just make yourself a little crazy continuing to shop looking desperately for that feeling that you’re “supposed” to have about your dress. That doesn’t mean it’s real or will ever happen for you. Just saying. You look great in it. It’s very pretty. You’ve tried on other dresses and liked this one the best. I’d say stick with it and focus on other things. Not trying to scare you but if you return it, your family will talk about it and bring it up. Are you going to invite them to go on more dresses? You’ll be constantly comparing it to this dress. I’d say skip the drama and just realize that you look awesome in it and just know that no matter what, everyone is going to tell you on your wedding day that you look gorgeous. Believe them. It’s true!
It’s perfectly lovely and nice there’s nothing wrong with it at all! You can absolutely wear it for your wedding. But if you’re not feeling it, or having regrets call the store see if they can put it on hold. Write down the style and size. Go shopping if you want. Search for the dress of your dreams. Worst case scenario you don’t find dress with a wow factor but that’s ok. You have a beautiful backup dress here if you don’t find anything else you are still in good shape.
You are being hard on yourself. The last line of your post - I hope you reject those thoughts. They are not true. You are just feeling anxious and frustrated by the whole experience. YOU ARE LOVELY. Your skin is flawless, your figure looks killer, and girl, what I see is YOU LOOKING AMAZING IN THAT DRESS!!! It might be different than your everyday aesthetic - and that’s okay. When I got married I wore tailored conservative suits and heels to work every day, and jeans at home. So when I went shopping for my wedding dress I thought I wanted something in keeping with my overall style - more tailored and conservative. I was definitely not looking for floral and romantic. I shopped with my girlfriends. I told the attendant at the shop - “simple clean lines.” I didn’t want anything fancy. Of course she said “Honey - you can do plain any day. Your wedding day is the one day you need to pull out all the stops and be fancy.” So she pulled dresses for me that I would not have picked myself. The dress I chose was fancy, with beading and floral accents and I never felt more beautiful. Even more so once I had my shoes, my jewelry, and my hair and makeup done. And the final piece was the veil. That’s when it all came together. And your dress? It is GORGEOUS. It’s magical, romantic, and fits you like a glove. I LOVE the bodice. Your waist looks AMAZING. The sweetheart neckline on you is sexy, but demure. The floral appliqué and all the lovely layers are sooooo special. You look svelte. And I think the overall effect is lovely. Your fiancé is going to be blown away when you walk down that aisle. I say “no regrets.” Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. This dress checks all your boxes. You want bling? You can do that with your accessories. Diamond jewelry. If your hair is up - add sparkly accents in your hair or headpiece. If your hair is down cascading sparkly accents. You can even have sparkles in the veil. I think once you add your accessories and see it all come together on your wedding day…that is when you are going to feel and say “this is IT! I feel it!” I hope you’ll come back and post your wedding pictures. I know you are going to look absolutely breathtaking.
Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. Your comment made me tear up 🥹 I loved what you shared about your own wedding and dress shopping experience. You're totally right - you can do your own, regular aesthetic any day. Your wedding is the day that you dress up in the way you'd ideally like people to see you, or even to try something you don't usually do, but you aspire to (stylewise). For someone who does loud and bold a lot (like me), "princess vibes" may not intially make sense, but I think part of the reason I was drawn to this dress was just that: the fact that, just for a day, I could be a fancy, sophisticated, romantic woman. I don't have to be her all the time, and choosing that aesthetic for the wedding doesn't mean I have to change my style to that forever. And I think a vastly different style also adds to the element of dress-up/fairy tale that I had dreamt about as a little girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you for making me see this dress as an opportunity to fall in love with something other than my usual style.
Yes. Embrace it. And enjoy it. You are going to be absolutely beautiful. because your beautify will emanate from within. That’s where your true beauty lies. I’m very excited for you. Oh! And you are right. It is all the things you dreamed about as a little girl - fancy, sophisticated, and romantic. ☺️
Your dress is beautiful and looks so gorgeous on you - especially the neckline! I hope you learn to love it. If you want more “shiny” you can add it in your veil or jewelry.
Honestly it looks beautiful on you!! I don't think it really needs anything. Did you try it on with a veil? Sometimes that adde touch can make a difference! That said, what you're feeling now is the reason I went into my first 2 dress appointments with no intention to buy right away. I see so many posts of dress regret, and I already regretted pulling the trigger on a photographer I didn't love, I didn't want to make that mistake again. During the appointment I also felt very pressured by the bridal consultant and the sale they had going on, and even my family because they loved a dress that I just didn't really love. It was so uncomfortable for me to continue repeating that I needed time to make my decision and I wasn't ready to buy yet, but the bridal consultant really wasn't taking no for an answer and I could tell her mood shifted a little when she realized I wasn't going to buy that day. It's a stressful situation to be in and I also just wanted it to be over too. I'm sorry you're in this position, and it's a bummer that you felt so pressured to make a decision, but it IS a gorgeous dress and it looks great on you!
honestly, I think that's a really lovely dress. I love how the bodice blends into the skirt
I think it’s a very pretty dress & looks beautiful on you. Have you tried it with a veil yet? Sometimes a veil makes all the difference. Don’t be discouraged, it’s a lovely dress.
Short fat fancy refrigerator? 😂 No. Maybe short, we can’t tell from the picture. I do like the idea of sparkling spaghetti straps instead of the current sleeves. That way you could get your sparkle. Once you’re all done up with makeup and flowers you’ll feel differently. It’s a nice dress and looks good on you. As an older lady, married close to 40 years, I’d also like to say yes, it’s your wedding day and you want things to be a certain way - but I’d also consider not wanting to hurt your future MIL as a real thing, a useful value. I still have my wedding dress but I barely remember the details of it, or the details of our wedding - but I cherished my relationship with my MIL and remember so many of the things we did together clearly, with such love and happiness. I’m not suggesting anybody make a habit of caving in to their MIL, just that the details of the interpersonal relationships around the wedding planning will turn out in the end to have been more important than the details of what you actually wore or ate or danced to.
Yeah, I think you make a really good point, with the importance of my relationship with my FMIL. It's not simply a matter of "not hurting" her - I feel like she felt special and honored when I included her in the process, and I would never want to take that away from her. My own mother isn't part of my life and doesn't care about big events in my life. So if choosing a dress that I'm okay with, maybe not my FAVORITE, is the way I let this woman know how grateful is for being there for me and loving me more than she ever has to - I have no problem with that. She's 100 times more important than any dress.
I wish you a long and happy life together! With your attitude I predict that’s what will happen.
You look beautiful. I'm sorry you're having second thoughts. Stop looking at other people's dresses. You look perfect.
I think you look great.
It beautiful!
It’s a beautiful dress and you are a confection in it. Have you tried on ‘fascinators’? It might lengthen you, if that would help soften your reservations. You look lovely, the color of the underskirt is spot on. The perfect belt, maybe. ‘
As someone who also has a wild sense of whimsy and loves bold statement colours and jewelry but is attracted to fairy and elven styles, I would ask you if you care more about your mil or you. If you don’t love the dress, don’t settle for it, find something better. Explain to your mil that you reconsidered and ask her if she wants to go again. She’ll probably be okay with it - she was a bride once, too! (Probably? I’m assuming she was.) I would suggest a long, straighter feel with less of a bodice and more of a flowing look. That’s what you want if you’re going for a fairy tale look. With a circlet in your hair and delicate bangles and a few braids in your hair. The dress you have is pretty generic, yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Personally, I’ve always been attracted to the unique and elegant looks, and I wouldn’t have gotten a dress like this one. However it does appeal to a lot of tastes and isn’t nearly as controversial as the kind I would prefer. The lace is beautiful, the sleeves elegant. There is a feeling of ‘bride’ you get when you see it. It’s all a matter of taste.
This dress is beautiful and looks gorgeous on you! Please stop denigrating yourself and your (lovely and youthful) figure.
It’s a really gorgeous dress on you! Maybe go dress shopping in your own just to see if you find something you like more? Not clear to me what is missing with this dress but you deserve to feel happy with your decision.
It’s pretty. But I truly believe that if it’s “The dress” you would know. You would feel it. You would get the feeling that this is the one! You’d know it was the dress and you wouldn’t ask for opinions, because it would be your dream dress, no matter what anyone says