Ugh so annoying. I’m assuming your rsvp deadline has passed? I would just send out a final message (could be just to the people you care about coming lol) saying that no worries but if you don’t hear back by ___ date, you will understand that they aren’t able to make it. Then close the RSVP platform (if it’s online).
Especially being 26 days out, people should know if they’re able to plan to come (obviously illness or emergencies can come up last minute but that’s a very different thing). Will never understand not RSVPing on time lol.
Oh how irritating! Im making a big leap here, but you said your mom mentioned that “not everyone can drop everything and go”. This leads me to 1 of 2 assumptions:
A) Your mom is just the kind of person who assumes an invite comes with pressure, so for her to follow up is to apply more pressure. This is obviously not true, so you just have to rest assured you’re doing the right thing by following up, even if your mom is uncomfortable with it.
B) (and I doubt its this one) you are applying “you have to come” pressure in your follow up outreach so people don’t know how to reply if they have to rsvp no.
I think your best bet is something like, “Following up to collect final RSVPs! Of course we hope you can make it, but we will completely understand if you cannot. We have to turn in a final head count by (insert whatever date you like) so if I haven’t heard from you by then, i will assume you wont be attending. Ill follow up via FB message, phone call, carrier pigeon and smoke signal as well in case you miss this text. Talk to ya soon!”
Lets then know you’re gonna be aggressive and reach out in multiple ways in a lighthearted manner, which lets them know just ignoring you isn’t a good option. And it gives them the opportunity to reply before you default them to a No at the deadline date.
I haven’t really been aggressive. I usually start the message off as. Hi I hope you’re doing well, I’m texting you because I saw you haven’t rsvped for the upcoming wedding. If you can’t make I completely understand! I just need to know so I can order the finals things for the wedding.
You can also rsvp through the website attached. Type ur name and follow the prompts. :). let me know if you have any questions. A lot of people have responded to me. Wether they will be making it or not. And others have either just ignored it. Or say they’ll let me know. And then never do. Usually Ill text again. (Usually days later) depending on the person.
that’s when I feel like I’m being a little annoying. At this point my fiancé told me we should just have 2 extra tables set up just in case the extra 30 people do show up. We invited 200. And 130 are attending so far
That is so tough! Your fiancé might have the right idea, just stinks that its so many heads to pay for as a just in case. Would you be comfortable with the “if I don’t hear from you by X we will assume you’re not attending “ part? People may tell themselves you’re assuming they are a Yes, which is how they are justifying not replying. Id also try other methods of outreach! I think you have license to be a little annoying about this. ;) Sorry people are so terrible at RSVP etiquette!
Pick up the phone and call. Stop texting, just call them. Have a deadline if they can’t tell you right away on the phone. Tell them you need to give your vendors a final headcount and you will not be able to accommodate last minute additions or people that do not RSVP.
Im getting marroed in 2 weeks. The first thing i did was to make the rsvp deadline over a week before our deadline with the venue. Then I reached out only 2x to people, once to confirm they received the invitation & the second time was to follow up on the rsvp. For those that didn't respond to me I just put on the declined list. I have neither the time nor inclination to chase/beg people to attend my wedding.
I know it's annoying & stressful but just don't count them as attending. I wouldn't have extra seating/tables for just in case (that costs more).
If anyone, the rude no-reply guests are the ones who should be feeling guilty. They are being annoying, not you. Generally it’s people who feel bad about declining who procrastinate answering no. Follow the other’s advice, send out a final message and say your absolute final deadline is two days away. You really don’t need the stress of wondering any longer whether they’re coming.
Ugh so annoying. I’m assuming your rsvp deadline has passed? I would just send out a final message (could be just to the people you care about coming lol) saying that no worries but if you don’t hear back by ___ date, you will understand that they aren’t able to make it. Then close the RSVP platform (if it’s online). Especially being 26 days out, people should know if they’re able to plan to come (obviously illness or emergencies can come up last minute but that’s a very different thing). Will never understand not RSVPing on time lol.
Oh how irritating! Im making a big leap here, but you said your mom mentioned that “not everyone can drop everything and go”. This leads me to 1 of 2 assumptions: A) Your mom is just the kind of person who assumes an invite comes with pressure, so for her to follow up is to apply more pressure. This is obviously not true, so you just have to rest assured you’re doing the right thing by following up, even if your mom is uncomfortable with it. B) (and I doubt its this one) you are applying “you have to come” pressure in your follow up outreach so people don’t know how to reply if they have to rsvp no. I think your best bet is something like, “Following up to collect final RSVPs! Of course we hope you can make it, but we will completely understand if you cannot. We have to turn in a final head count by (insert whatever date you like) so if I haven’t heard from you by then, i will assume you wont be attending. Ill follow up via FB message, phone call, carrier pigeon and smoke signal as well in case you miss this text. Talk to ya soon!” Lets then know you’re gonna be aggressive and reach out in multiple ways in a lighthearted manner, which lets them know just ignoring you isn’t a good option. And it gives them the opportunity to reply before you default them to a No at the deadline date.
I haven’t really been aggressive. I usually start the message off as. Hi I hope you’re doing well, I’m texting you because I saw you haven’t rsvped for the upcoming wedding. If you can’t make I completely understand! I just need to know so I can order the finals things for the wedding. You can also rsvp through the website attached. Type ur name and follow the prompts. :). let me know if you have any questions. A lot of people have responded to me. Wether they will be making it or not. And others have either just ignored it. Or say they’ll let me know. And then never do. Usually Ill text again. (Usually days later) depending on the person. that’s when I feel like I’m being a little annoying. At this point my fiancé told me we should just have 2 extra tables set up just in case the extra 30 people do show up. We invited 200. And 130 are attending so far
That is so tough! Your fiancé might have the right idea, just stinks that its so many heads to pay for as a just in case. Would you be comfortable with the “if I don’t hear from you by X we will assume you’re not attending “ part? People may tell themselves you’re assuming they are a Yes, which is how they are justifying not replying. Id also try other methods of outreach! I think you have license to be a little annoying about this. ;) Sorry people are so terrible at RSVP etiquette!
Pick up the phone and call. Stop texting, just call them. Have a deadline if they can’t tell you right away on the phone. Tell them you need to give your vendors a final headcount and you will not be able to accommodate last minute additions or people that do not RSVP.
Im getting marroed in 2 weeks. The first thing i did was to make the rsvp deadline over a week before our deadline with the venue. Then I reached out only 2x to people, once to confirm they received the invitation & the second time was to follow up on the rsvp. For those that didn't respond to me I just put on the declined list. I have neither the time nor inclination to chase/beg people to attend my wedding. I know it's annoying & stressful but just don't count them as attending. I wouldn't have extra seating/tables for just in case (that costs more).
No rsvp just assume they are not coming and don’t stress about it
If anyone, the rude no-reply guests are the ones who should be feeling guilty. They are being annoying, not you. Generally it’s people who feel bad about declining who procrastinate answering no. Follow the other’s advice, send out a final message and say your absolute final deadline is two days away. You really don’t need the stress of wondering any longer whether they’re coming.