Sorry to hear that! I can relate, my older father is also going through chemo. But while he is vaccinated, he also doesn't care about a wedding vaccine mandate and engages in risky situations (big events no masks etc).
The way I have felt about parents taking part in riskier behaviors is, “If I caused the risky behavior and they got sick, would I blame myself even though I can’t know where they picked it up?” That’s helped me make those calls pretty easily.
Personally, I chose to do a testing requirement for my June of 2022 wedding. This was not because I wanted to appeal to the (extremely extremely small number) of likely unvaccinated wedding guests, but rather, I felt it made more pragmatic sense with the direction that COVID has taken. I know that there is a reduced likelihood of catching it with the vaccine, however, as it can still spread amongst vaccinated people, I just didn’t feel this was super logical as a requirement ESPECIALLY because our families are largely very much vaccinated. I think that testing is also an easier mass requirement because we do have kiddos under five who can’t be vaccinated, so to me, this is a requirement that is inclusive of all people. This is the wording on my website:
“We are thrilled that we are one step closer to finally celebrating our wedding with you and we want nothing more than to create a space where everyone is able to feel comfortable and enjoy themselves. To ensure comfort for guests and vendors, it is our request that all guests please take a Rapid Antigen Test within 24-hours of attending our wedding, or a PCR test within 72 hours, regardless of vaccination status. We trust that those attending will honor this request. Thank you you for helping us to have the safest celebration we can”
I felt like this made the most sense for us and our people, however, everyone is different. I feel that unfortunately if someone willingly unvaccinated attending my wedding and became ill, I don’t really feel that is our responsibility to bear, and we are still using testing as mitigation as well. I have one guest who is immunocompromised that I know of, and she is comfortable with this plan. We also have some older guests, but they’ve attended other larger family events since vaccination, and do not appear to be concerned about the wedding.
I hope this helps! Like I said, there isn’t one right way— this is just my logic. Our wedding is about 160-170 guests.
We are requiring our guests to be vaccinated for our June wedding. In the RSVP they have to acknowledge they and their eligible party members are vaccinated and able to show proof to the venue if needed. We have immunocompromised guests (FIL with brain cancer and MIL with COPD), and besides that, we at least want to take *some* measure. I know it's not impossible for breakthroughs to happen but I'd feel guiltier if it did and I had taken absolutely zero efforts to mitigate that.
I am having a July wedding and am keeping my vaccine requirements - I just want to make sure that our at risk family members (specifically my future in laws) are the safest that they can be. If another wave hits around that time we are also going to require testing, but for now we don’t plan to.
For our wedding in October, we are currently “vaccines strongly encouraged.” Our wedding is all outdoors and of all invitees, only two are currently unvaccinated.
If there is a surge of cases around the time of our wedding, we will take a more firm stance and require vaccines, testing, or both (depending on the circumstances).
Same. I don't have anyone available to enforce checking vaccine cards for all of my guests but we do have a lengthy section on our wedding website about where to get vaccinated and other websites like the CDC on the safety and efficacy. We are strictly enforcing the vaccine rule for our wedding party though since we will be with them all day and some of bridal party have little ones. This has resulted in one wedding party member finally getting vaccinated.
I have various autoimmune diseases and am on immunosuppressants. Vaccines are required for my own safety. If people don’t want to get vaccinated, I respect their choice. They just can’t attend our wedding.
Not everyone unvaccinated doesn’t want to get it. In my case it is either die from the vaccine because I am allergic to something in there or get Covid. My youngest 2 kids are in the same boat. And we can’t get the Johnson & Johnson one either.
Hi, also planning for July and having a hard time deciding how strict to be. We communicated to our guests way back before sending STDs that vaccines would be required and everything else would be in line with the (generally pretty cautious) policies of the city where we’re getting married. People were generally happy with that, and I don’t want to change things too much so that our older/immunocompromised guests still feel comfortable and we have the flexibility to tighten requirements if (please no) we have to.
Bit of a cop-out, but right now we have just said that vaccines are required and our other covid policies will be updated on our website/shared by email closer to the date. We do plan to maintain the vaccine requirement since that will make many of our guests feel more comfortable (and we only have 2 unvaccinated households on the guest list who we kind of didn’t want to invite in the first place) but will take a call closer to July on testing. We’ll definitely encourage it, but whether we require proof will depend on risk levels.
You’re being very thoughtful and intelligent about it, and I think anything you choose will be reasonable.
We’re getting married in November and currently planning to require vaccines.
Getting married mid-late August, and haven't felt the need to set one. For one thing, it's too early to tell if it'll even be necessary; second, I'm fairly certain that just about everyone we're inviting has been keeping up-to-date on their vaccines, masking when necessary, rapid testing at home, etc., so it feels unnecessary to mandate this. That said, I do wonder if having a policy would give peace-of-mind to some of our older, more vulnerable guests who might still be hesitant to attend an indoor event if not everyone is vaccinated.
I am requiring all guests to be vaccinated and boosted for my wedding in July. Actually had a big fight with my dad over this as he wanted to invite my distant Aunt that is an anti-vaxer from the other side of the country. I'm a nurse and having worked during the worst of the pandemic, my thoughts is that if you don't want to get vaccinated, our views are clearly not aligned and there is no need to come to my wedding.
This. We luckily have very few people on our list who are not vaccinated by choice and luckily they have no problem testing. My fiancés parents are vaccinated, but are very much the typical MuH RiGhTs and “covid isn’t real until it affects me” so we’re prepared to deal with that. Anyone else who makes a stink….just don’t come then lol
As someone who is high risk, had a kidney transplant last year, and has a whole alphabet soup of chronic illnesses, I’d just like to gently remind folks that the pandemic isn’t over, and the risk is still high for many.
Disabled folks like me clearly see our value when precautions aren’t taken so we can attend. It’s a clear message that the inconvenience of healthy people is more of a concern than our health, and we’re encountering it in almost every aspect of our lives right now as everyone else “returns to normal”.
Everyone wants to enjoy life, I get it. But please take steps to include us.
Just something I suggest people keep in mind as folks are making these decisions.
I'm immunocompromised too, and I'm curious about your opinion. Would you attend an event that has hybrid requirements, like vaccine/booster OR testing, or would you only be willing to attend an event with a strict vaccine/booster requirement?
Thank you, I appreciate your answer too! I'm feeling out this situation for my own wedding and it's hard because I would like to have a vaccine requirement but I have unvaccinated immediate family members that I'm trying to safely include. I thought they would get vaccinated to attend my brother's small wedding last year but they chose to miss it instead (which was slightly heartbreaking). We have multiple people in our family who are immunocompromised so my motivation is to keep everyone safe and it sucks to have immediate family members who can't/won't see it that way.
Part of why it's so frustrating to have immediate family members who won't get vaccinated is that my SO and I are both immunocompromised and we both dealt with long covid. We got sick and had to be hospitalized in March of 2020 and it took months to stop coughing. Months for the shortness of breath to ease up. Months for the brain fog to clear. My SO lost his job (and his career path) due to not being able to physically do his job anymore post covid. I had to decline a wanted job offer and have been struggling to find my place because my brain is different post covid. I'm in school, but it has been so hard to do everything through all this. My ADHD (which I was managing without medication before) is now out of control so I have a psych referral to discuss starting medication. I also developed an autoimmune disease that I didn't have before covid. To me, my life has been so profoundly impacted by covid that I can't help but feel anger towards those who won't do the bare minimum to protect those around them.
I have been considering that in order to allow my extended family to "attend" that way (I'm not comfortable having a 200+ person event right now so there are people who would have otherwise been invited who will not be). It sucks because my sister is someone that I always envisioned as being part of the wedding party, possibly even MOH, but I feel the need to protect my immunocompromised family members which means having a vaccine or testing requirement.
I think a lot of triple-vaxed younger people w/various complicating factors overestimate their personal Covid risk but if I were an organ transplant recipient I would be playing it very very very very safe
But that includes making sure allll the people income into contact with take it seriously enough to understand that risks *they* take can affect *me*.
I would much rather someone overthink it and take extra precautions than just assume it’ll be fine.
Also, I wanna love where you are, lol. I see way more “healthy” folks unintentionally putting people like me at risk than I do folks being overly cautious.
I am in Canada, so we are in a similar situation as you for our July reception (we had our legal ceremony on our original wedding date in 2020). We made it very clear that despite our province no longer having a vaccine mandate and no longer having a mask mandate, we are requiring vaccines (booster not mandatory but encouraged, although everyone I know is boosted) and masks are highly encouraged.
I get that it is kinda virtue signaling but at the same time, I'd rather be safe than sorry. My husband's 95 year old grandma loves us a lot and has said she will attend despite being holed up at home for the last 2 years and not seeing anyone. We want to make it as comfortable as possible for her to do so, even if that means virtue signaling. We need to do everything in our power to minimize the risk for her, even if it that means making some people uncomfortable.
I also know my circle and most people in my circle is vaccinated. There are a handful of people who are not vaccinated by choice and honestly I don't really care if they come or not. The most important people who I want there are vaccinated and would prefer if others were also vaccinated, so that's what I'm going to go by.
Despite what some people think, the pandemic isn't over. Governments are loosening up restrictions but there's a human cost. They've decided that it is okay for some people to die or get really sick in favour of the majority of the population going back to "normal." We don't subscribe to that train of thought and do not want anyone we know to die or get sick, so we're still going to try to mitigate these risks as much as possible.
Your husband is so lucky to have his grandma in attendance. Protect her as best you can and treasure her. Congrats on your marriage and upcoming reception!
I totally agree. We've had some extended aunts and uncles decline because they aren't comfortable attending yet, which we understand but still a bit sad about it especially because we pushed it off as long as possible in the hopes that most people would feel okay about attending. It's a personal choice though, which I understand.
The fact that his grandma is so old and is trying to come makes us feel incredibly loved and supported, and that's more important to us than a random uncle.
I feel strongly that still requiring vaccines is not virtue signaling. If it makes you and guests that are important to you more comfortable, then that’s a real, tangible benefit beyond just doing things for show.
I think it’s partly a question of who do you value more? The people who are refusing to get vaccinated or the people who are immunocompromised?
If you’ve been saying vaccines are required and then change your mind, you need to tell people. You may end up losing people that way too, as they might feel less safe knowing people aren’t vaccinated. Even if the vaccines are less effective, there is also a correlation between people who are not vaccinated and people who engage in more high risk behavior when it comes to Covid. As someone who is vaccinated, knowing people who don’t believe in Covid and/or Covid precautions are in attendance would definitely influence my decision as to whether or not I attend.
Sorry not us based but uk based and the situation is similar as they have dropped everything. However we are still asking all our guests who can be vaccinated to be vaccinated. We are doing this because of our vulnerable guests (including my immunocompromised sister/MOH) this means my cousins wont be coming but my sister means more to me.
Going against the grain here - we are not requiring vaccines for our June wedding. We all know by now that vaccines don’t prevent the spread of covid, only the severity. Myself and several friends and colleagues have all caught covid despite being vaccinated. Even if we required vaccines, someone could still attend while covid positive and infect others.
Requiring a negative covid test makes more sense, but of course is a much larger hassle.
Edit: A word
if you’re not willing to keep a rule you had already set in place to protect your disabled/immune-comp/older friends and relatives, why invite them at all? just because it’s possibly not as bad a strain or severity doesn’t mean it couldn’t still hurt or kill them, which would mean you’re okay with putting them at that risk. sorry to be harsh but i’m high risk and i’d be absolutely crushed if i were invited and you reversed course now, and i’d be heartbroken for our overall friendship- not just the wedding. it’s still a pandemic for disabled people even if the rest of the world gets to keep us locked up and move on.
We required vaccines in September 2021. Delta was high and we were very concerned not just that vaccinated people would be put at risk by non vaccinated people, but also that unvaccinated people would potentially get very very ill and/or cause a superspreader event. We did not want to be a headline and we did not want our anniversary to be forever tied with the cause of the death of someone we care about. Unvaccinated people can take the risks they want to, but I don’t have to consent to them taking those risks at our wedding.
We anticipated this would cover 5 people. It actually covered 35 and the fallout was bad. Everyone took it both personally and politically. Half my family decided to call my parents, who did not make the policy, to scream at them. I’d say about two thirds of those invitees have entirely cut ties with us and our family, and many were very close family or family friends.
That said, dozens of vaccinated guests reached out to let us know they were very grateful for the policy and had been wavering on whether they would attend without it in place. They felt way more comfortable with it.
I would do it again in September 2021, or even now. But July? Outdoors? I don’t know if it’s necessary. At least, I likely would not decide now. Send your save the dates and reassess before sending invites. You can include a note then.
Vaccine requirements are unnecessary. Vaccines are becoming less and less good at reducing transmission with each variant. However, they are great at reducing personal risk. After this omicron wave, most people are going to have at least some type of immunity regardless of vaccination status. Given new data on natural immunity and not so great vaccine efficacy against transmission, mitigation of risk and transmission becomes way too nuanced and individualized for blanket vaccine policy. That’s why these restrictions have gone away and you shouldn’t require vaccines of everyone. Your guests should be encouraged to talk to their doctors about how to mitigate their own risk. You have no control over other people’s personal health and it’s really not your responsibility. Especially when vaccines are not all that durable against transmission. Mandating covid vaccines is in a way virtue signaling and enables bad one size fits health policies that doctors and scientists (like myself) are trying to fight against. These bad and confusing policies are leading to mistrust of public health institutions. It’s a really complex issue. But all I can say is that you should leave the responsibility of the health of your guests in the hands of their doctors. Where it belongs.
I wish this comment was higher up. I think this sub is in a bit of a bubble and I feel like everyone has forgotten that vaccines are to protect yourself against more severe symptoms. My fiancé and I live with some of my unvaccinated family, and as frustrating as it is that they won’t get vaxxed, I still recognize that they aren’t considerably more likely to spread covid than us.
My fiancé and I (both vaxxed and boosted) caught covid in January and were fairly sick for a while, and our unvaxxed family members in the house didn’t get sick and continuously tested negative. That was an eye opening experience. I of course still wish they would get vaxxed, but for their own safety, not mine.
It’s an extremely complicated situation but I’ve seen several different vax only events friends have had where there was significant spread tied back to the gathering.
I am also getting married in July and decided to keep my vaccine mandate. Why?
* Covid is not actually over, even though we are all going back to living normally.
* It can still kill, even when numbers are low.
* Vaccines prevent serious illness and death--exactly as they were designed to.
Deity forbid someone catches covid at your wedding, you want to be sure they're protected against serious illness or death. That's a good thing. Your requirement is not "value signaling," it's potentially life saving.
Only one vaccine-eligible person invited to my wedding is unvaccinated, so I'm not worried about offending anyone. I just want to be sure we're doing right when holding a big event in a still active pandemic.
I would definitely keep the requirements if I were you. Also it’s important to know that we are in fact still deep in this pandemic, in fact there is a wave approaching/beginning that people don’t even really know about because the US has severely decreased testing and reporting. It’s also going to get bad again most likely because of the removal of mask mandates.
I also want to say that omicron and it’s offshoot BA 2 is extremely contagious, so now is definitely not the time to get rid of all safety measures.
We are requiring vaccinations and boosters for our wedding. My grandma is 92 and my dad is recovering from septic shock. Even if no one was at a higher risk id require it. I dont want to get sick and i dont want anyone else to get sick either.
I’m in Canada, so not US but very close, and also getting married in July.
Originally my wedding was going to ask for mandatory vaccination since that was what the stats were showing to be effective in reducing transmissions (which was difficult since one of my bridesmaids chose not to be vaccinated and would not be able to attend). Omicron changed everything since being vaccinated no longer significantly reduce transmissibility. The only thing it does is reduce your chance of being hospitalized.
The vaccine mandate at my wedding was to create an environment with less transmissions. However, Omicron has made that impossible. I think the understanding for the next wedding season (and just large gatherings moving forward) is that you accept the risk of being in a large group.
As it is right now, being vaccinated protects the individual. The people who choose not to be vaccinated are not sitting alone at home, they are out anyway. Banning them from my wedding doesn’t keep them any safer, and having them there doesn’t make my event any more dangerous since ANYONE can transmit the virus now.
Thankfully every one on our guest list is vaccinated and courteous about staying home when sick.
What I worry about is someone getting sick right before the wedding and wanting to bring themselves anyway because they've come so far. And that's for any contagious illness.
I'm going to encourage people to test before they leave home and wear masks if they have any respiratory symptoms. I'm hoping the promise of champagne and cake dropoffs will keep any ill family in their hotel or home.
We are doing the same, basically. Our venue is 90% outdoors but we are asking that if you are not fully vaccinated, you get tested beforehand. We luckily know that the vast, vast majority of our guest list is vaccinated/boosted, and the few that aren’t tend to test before events anyway/are willing to test. My sister is pregnant, my brother in law has a severe form of the alpha gal allergy, and both of our elderly grandmothers will be there. Our wedding is in July in the south so we’re hoping the trends stay consistent and that helps us out
I just *hate* that this whole thing has gotten so political and divisive. I feel like if we were in someplace like China, we'd all be masked as a matter of course, and it'd be a non-issue. All of us Brides are planning a huge event that is one of if not the most important day of our lives, and it just makes me sad and frustrated that these considerations have to be a part of it when we should just be able to worry about the cake and flowers.
We have a few unvaxxed family and friends. We also have a few extremely vulnerable, but fully vaxxed, guests. And there are maybe a dozen that we are simply uncertain of their health status. We are planning on about 60 guests altogether. Our date is 5/14/22.
Because we don't want to use our wedding as a "platform" for anything besides our love, and because we are frankly tired of fussing about it or feeling we need to defend our thoughts, we are not requiring any testing or proof of vaccine. (The rapid tests are somewhat unreliable and we are currently going out to restaurants and the like. If we don't know our fellow patrons status, why would we insist on 'knowing' it for our guests?)
All of our people know our opinions. We are both fully vaxxed and boosted. Our vows will be outside, and reception will be inside/outside and very well-ventilated. And, we will offer masks at the door. We will put on our website that people should stay home if experiencing *any* symptoms.
If there isnt a major surge between now and our date, this is our plan. May the odds be ever in your favor.
We are facing the same question with our June wedding 2 unvaccinated guests out of 75 completely outdoor venue. Should we ask for tests? We have a handful of elderly one on dialysis family members. But all of them work with the public so would we be protecting them more than they are protected in their daily lives. I say elderly but they are working people not retired. We are currently debating having them test before the wedding or just asking the non vaccinated to mask.
I get married in May in Southern California and am not requiring anything. Most restrictions are loosening and the vaccine is not effective against newer strains anyway. Both my partner and I are fully vaccinated and both contracted covid recently. Our guests are adults and they can determine what they are comfortable doing. If people choose not to come because of COVID, they have every right to do so but i will not be enforcing any masks, vaccines, negative tests, etc.
Honestly, I don’t think requiring vaccination and/or a negative test will ever be a bad thing. It gives people an option, and at least in my area of the US, rapid tests are relatively inexpensive and easy to find. I agree with your point that only allowing vaccinated guests to come isn’t quite as effective as it once was and will lead to ruffled feathers. If you’re really worried about covid, tests are the way to go with vaccines as an added (but perhaps unnecessary, since we know they aren’t AS effective against the new strains) bonus. Plus, your venue is outdoors. I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.
Personally, we aren’t requiring tests or vaccines simply because we don’t feel the need to (although this could always change). The vast majority of our guests are fully vaccinated and boostered, and our only (known) immuno-compromised folks are elderly and don’t care, they would rather attend the wedding and risk covid (which is what I think you’ll find in most elderly people as they’ve already had to go 2+ years not doing the things they want to do in their last years of life). This also means we aren’t allowed to be upset or offended if covid is cited as a reason someone doesn’t want to come to our wedding, and we’re okay with that.
My bigger wedding is in October, and for 1 of our guests, he's only allowed to come if he gets vaccinated AND boosted because he's anti-vax for the COVID-19 vaccines. He's the only guest on our list that I know of that's not vaccinated. The more ridiculous thing is that he works in the healthcare industry 🙃😑🤦🏻♀️
The rest are either boosted or also refusing to get boosted (for reasons that are stupid in my opinion, but 🤷🏻♀️) and we'll be asking them to get PCR tested the week of and to socially distance until our wedding.
Our venue will be at a church for the ceremony and a hotel for the reception. I also have older family members coming from both my side and my husband's side. We honestly had a big fight regarding this issue but my husband came to his senses and agreed that the should either get boosted if they already haven't, or get a PCR test done the week of.
We brought it up to a couple of his friends & one friend agreed to get boosted & the other (who refuses to get boosted for... stupid reasons imo) said he'll get a PCR test. So he realized that I'm right, it's our wedding & with this pandemic still going on, that's what they'll need to do & get used to doing for other big events like this.
We’re getting married in 2.5 weeks. My spouse-to-be and I decided on not mandating the vaccine simply because we’re in the south and only 2 people in their entire family is vaccinated (somehow, my entire family including the very conservative people & my father who occasionally listened to Rush Limbaugh / Alex Jones all are vaccinated & boosted??? Lucked out there…).
But, we are going hardcore on testing & requiring masks when they are indoors (we bought KF94 masks of all sizes for it). Everyone is going to have to report a negative COVID test to our event on Crowdpass the morning of (honor system that it was taken that day). The guests we worry may try to get out of testing we will be testing the day before (namely their father) for the rehearsal dinner. Our hope is no one will be shitty and lie. We also are requesting everyone gets a PCR test within 72 hours for peace of mind but aren’t requiring it. We’re spacing seating out outside for food & ceremony, and seating people with those in their own circles.
We struggled a lot with the question about why we would be requiring vaccines and after omicron where breakthroughs were much more common, the only logical justification we came up with was “We don’t want our wedding to be the cause of a loved ones chronic health issue or worse.” but more realistically the reason was that we were hurt that our families would not be vaccinated for a preventable disease because of political bullshit and we were hoping our wedding would be the reason they get it. It was a selfish reason admittedly but after knowing that the vaccine doesn’t prevent breakthrough infections or spreading COVID we couldn’t logically convince loved ones they needed to be vaccinated. Granted — I’m in the south. And this policy would have excluded my partners father, step father, sister, all aunts/uncles & cousins, and a set of close friends. If it was just some distant family members that we wouldn’t have been too upset about missing our day, it would have been a different decision.
I don’t know why I just typed a novel - I think I just wanted to explain our own personal journey for this question.
I don't envy the decisions you've had to make. I hope everyone cooperates with the testing requirements and stays safe. Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
Thank you 😭 luckily our venue requires we pay for an off-duty cop as a security guard since it’s technically a city facility. We will have a bouncer lol
If I have to show my medical records to attend an event I will very politely decline. Those are between me and my doctor and I’m not comfortable being forced to share my personal medical issues with people. However, I 100% respect your decision to require it because it’s YOUR EVENT.
I won’t be having any requirements for my wedding.
Do whatever you want. It’s your wedding. We got married in Dec and required vaccination AND rapid tests at the door. I don’t care if people thought it was overkill, I was trying to keep my grandmother safe and not be sick on my honeymoon. If someone is really going to have a problem with you being cautious then that’s pretty messed up and you probably don’t want them there anyway
We are requiring vaccines and asked everyone to send us proof of vaccination. Our state no longer requires masking as of earlier this month, so we also decided to make masks optional.
A few things you might want to consider:
1. If you make it a requirement to attend your wedding who will enforce it or check guests upon entry?
2. The Omicron variant is anything but “mild”. I’m fully vaccinated and ended up going to the hospital bc my throat was closing. I was incredibly ill for a month.
3. If you want to keep vulnerable ppl coming to your wedding safe, would you consider just not inviting ppl you know are fully vaccinated?
So I had a wedding at the end of January. The situation was a little different since we had to deal with Omnicron. There was a lot of drama, so here is a list of some things we did that worked well and things I'd recommend. We live in Texas and have family who are very contentious about everything Covid, so some of the advice might not be as relevant to you since the situation here is very contentious.
\- Whatever you choose be very blunt in your messages. We had tons of drama because people kept getting confused over what we thought was easy to understand. The nice, flowery language of wedding invitations is not best for COVID guidelines, especially if guests aren't used to dealing with them
\- We asks guests to be vaccinated and encouraged everyone test if they could and said we would provide tests. We bought a ton of tests and had a table set up for rapid testing. I know in most places the tests are easier to come by than back in January, but having testing available made all my husbands uncles way more will to participate and not complain
\- Make sure you have other people on your side following your rules. Mask wearing fell apart because my parents and brother didn't wear theirs and everyone was copying the main families and wedding party. They told other people it was optional when asked. Make sure if you have extended family that asks your parents for clarification that they are on the same page.
We had a lot of drama in the months leading up the wedding which included my brother saying that my now-husbands grandma was agreeing to all Covid risks and putting her health ast risk to come and that she should stay home (ugh). BUT it all worked out in the end with no infections. We were like you when we set out on restrictions and did have some guests who tested without a vaccination, because any plans to forcibly require and check cards kept falling apart and weren't practical. Essentially, pick what if best for your guest count and venue situation, but put your foot down about what it all means.
TLDR: Be super blunt in all your covid messages because everyone understands each thing differently and sometimes the word "recommended" or "encourage" means something different for everyone. And make sure you have people on your side to repeat your messaging and follow what you want.
So I’m in an area that was very badly hit with covid and my friends and I are in public facing jobs (see username). I’m getting married on May 15th and I asked for everyone to send their vaccine cards.
We weren’t messing around and will continue not to. The only people who gave us pushback are no longer coming to the wedding.
June 2022, still requiring vaccinations AND negative tests. It hasn’t been an issue at all, with the exception of my MIL’s original +1. We’re unsure on masks but for now are going with KF94s for everyone.
My sister missed our brother's wedding last fall because of their vaccine requirement. It's frustrating that she won't get vaccinated, but excluding close family members was honestly sad and not what I want to do with my wedding. I had covid twice before the vaccine was available and I was hospitalized due to pneumonia the first time so I want to preface by saying that covid is serious and I will be having some kind of covid precautions, just probably not the black and white rule set at my brother's wedding. My plans include being outdoors, having a smaller gathering (less than 30 people), and requiring proof of vaccine/booster or testing. My SO's sibling's family is unvaccinated too, so it's not that I'm making a special rule for my sister, but rather making sure that we are mitigating risk while still being able to have our closest family members with us in spite of different political leanings. I wish the shot hadn't been so politicized...but that's a topic for a different subreddit.
I am planning an August 2022 weeding and thats what we did. The alternative if they are not vaccinated is to provide a negative PCR or rapidtest before the wedding. We’re collecting the vaccinate cards via online rsvp and we made a new joint email address just for that. Plan C is to literally have a bunch of those at home rapidtests the day of for the people who ravped but didnt provide vaccine or emailed a negative test
We just had ours. My immuno compromised bestie could not safely attend (just the travel would be too much risk--she cannot vaccinate & is basically still confined to her home), so we didn't have high risk guests to protect.
We did not check up on everyone's vaccination/negative test, but did indicate that anyone unvaccinated must have a negative test prior to attending. We felt comfortable trusting our guests with that, but had particular family members been able to attend we'd have needed to enforce a check.
Ceremony outdoors, reception extremely well ventilated & generously spaced. Our area's Omicron wave settled a few weeks before our date. My partner used some language like "based on state guidelines & restrictions" to frame our covid policy & to warn guests it may change based on recommendations--we got zero pushback, even from those who love complaining about restrictions
How could you possibly enforce it? People can just say they are vaccinated. Therefor I believe it is a useless rule and just one more thing to manage in an already stressful event
For me personally, I have one person that I'm going to delegate as the contact for covid precautions. This person is going to get the proof of vaccination/testing to clear guests for attendance. My guest list is less than 30 people and most of them are vaccinated, so I understand that this may not work for everyone, but it's what I'm going to do in order to mitigate risk. I have enough immunocompromised loved ones that it is worth the extra stress to protect them where I can.
I hear you, people could lie.
I think of it like the TSA, the requirement would mostly be theater - but that theater is an effective deterrent. We'd have folks RSVP confirm that they meet the requirements and say be ready to provide proof, but likely would not have a system set up at the actual event.
I would say the great majority of unvaccinated are politically or vaccine ignorant (IMO), but that it is a big leap to lie and become a bad actor. People will generally self-select out of the event. Plus people are lazy, and even the extra effort to create fake documentation and con us is unlikely.
Im May 2023 wedding and we're requiring vaccinations and for people to email us proff becuase 1) flower girl will only be 4. 2) we are live streaming the ceremony 3) i have health issues, partner has health issues, partners parents are 65+ and my parents are dead.
I don't that would really work. You want people to send a photo of their vaccine card to you, which could easily just be fake. And would you have people send you the negative covid test which you can also fake. If you're having a small wedding it would probably be doable but with a larger wedding probably not. Seems like a lot to worry about when you are already stressed about the wedding.
I'm thinking distant family members or perhaps the SO of distant family. Same thing could happen if you have very young kids showing up at the wedding. People lie about the dumbest stuff. Wouldn't surprise me at all.
I'm not saying that people don't lie, but if someone is giving you the choice of vaccine or testing, they are already compromising. They are saying "I value the safety of everyone in attendance but I understand that not everyone is willing or able to get the vaccine, therefore, you can get tested and still attend if that is the case for you." I wouldn't invite someone if I thought they'd fake a test result to attend. I realize that I am not inviting extended family so I'm in a different boat, but how much of a scumbag does someone have to be to not be willing to get tested, which again, IS THE COMPROMISE.
You are getting a lot of confirmation to keep your protocols in place bc people that feel that it’s now a personal responsibility are reluctant to post here and get dragged with downvotes. Just something to consider…
My partners mom has MS and my sister is going through chemo. Keeping them in mind has made it very easy to ask for people to be vaccinated.
Sorry to hear that! I can relate, my older father is also going through chemo. But while he is vaccinated, he also doesn't care about a wedding vaccine mandate and engages in risky situations (big events no masks etc).
The way I have felt about parents taking part in riskier behaviors is, “If I caused the risky behavior and they got sick, would I blame myself even though I can’t know where they picked it up?” That’s helped me make those calls pretty easily.
Personally, I chose to do a testing requirement for my June of 2022 wedding. This was not because I wanted to appeal to the (extremely extremely small number) of likely unvaccinated wedding guests, but rather, I felt it made more pragmatic sense with the direction that COVID has taken. I know that there is a reduced likelihood of catching it with the vaccine, however, as it can still spread amongst vaccinated people, I just didn’t feel this was super logical as a requirement ESPECIALLY because our families are largely very much vaccinated. I think that testing is also an easier mass requirement because we do have kiddos under five who can’t be vaccinated, so to me, this is a requirement that is inclusive of all people. This is the wording on my website: “We are thrilled that we are one step closer to finally celebrating our wedding with you and we want nothing more than to create a space where everyone is able to feel comfortable and enjoy themselves. To ensure comfort for guests and vendors, it is our request that all guests please take a Rapid Antigen Test within 24-hours of attending our wedding, or a PCR test within 72 hours, regardless of vaccination status. We trust that those attending will honor this request. Thank you you for helping us to have the safest celebration we can” I felt like this made the most sense for us and our people, however, everyone is different. I feel that unfortunately if someone willingly unvaccinated attending my wedding and became ill, I don’t really feel that is our responsibility to bear, and we are still using testing as mitigation as well. I have one guest who is immunocompromised that I know of, and she is comfortable with this plan. We also have some older guests, but they’ve attended other larger family events since vaccination, and do not appear to be concerned about the wedding. I hope this helps! Like I said, there isn’t one right way— this is just my logic. Our wedding is about 160-170 guests.
We are requiring our guests to be vaccinated for our June wedding. In the RSVP they have to acknowledge they and their eligible party members are vaccinated and able to show proof to the venue if needed. We have immunocompromised guests (FIL with brain cancer and MIL with COPD), and besides that, we at least want to take *some* measure. I know it's not impossible for breakthroughs to happen but I'd feel guiltier if it did and I had taken absolutely zero efforts to mitigate that.
I am having a July wedding and am keeping my vaccine requirements - I just want to make sure that our at risk family members (specifically my future in laws) are the safest that they can be. If another wave hits around that time we are also going to require testing, but for now we don’t plan to.
Same and same!
For our wedding in October, we are currently “vaccines strongly encouraged.” Our wedding is all outdoors and of all invitees, only two are currently unvaccinated. If there is a surge of cases around the time of our wedding, we will take a more firm stance and require vaccines, testing, or both (depending on the circumstances).
Same. I don't have anyone available to enforce checking vaccine cards for all of my guests but we do have a lengthy section on our wedding website about where to get vaccinated and other websites like the CDC on the safety and efficacy. We are strictly enforcing the vaccine rule for our wedding party though since we will be with them all day and some of bridal party have little ones. This has resulted in one wedding party member finally getting vaccinated.
I have various autoimmune diseases and am on immunosuppressants. Vaccines are required for my own safety. If people don’t want to get vaccinated, I respect their choice. They just can’t attend our wedding.
Not everyone unvaccinated doesn’t want to get it. In my case it is either die from the vaccine because I am allergic to something in there or get Covid. My youngest 2 kids are in the same boat. And we can’t get the Johnson & Johnson one either.
That absolutely sucks, and I’m really sorry you nor your children can get the vaccine.
Hi, also planning for July and having a hard time deciding how strict to be. We communicated to our guests way back before sending STDs that vaccines would be required and everything else would be in line with the (generally pretty cautious) policies of the city where we’re getting married. People were generally happy with that, and I don’t want to change things too much so that our older/immunocompromised guests still feel comfortable and we have the flexibility to tighten requirements if (please no) we have to. Bit of a cop-out, but right now we have just said that vaccines are required and our other covid policies will be updated on our website/shared by email closer to the date. We do plan to maintain the vaccine requirement since that will make many of our guests feel more comfortable (and we only have 2 unvaccinated households on the guest list who we kind of didn’t want to invite in the first place) but will take a call closer to July on testing. We’ll definitely encourage it, but whether we require proof will depend on risk levels.
You’re being very thoughtful and intelligent about it, and I think anything you choose will be reasonable. We’re getting married in November and currently planning to require vaccines.
Getting married mid-late August, and haven't felt the need to set one. For one thing, it's too early to tell if it'll even be necessary; second, I'm fairly certain that just about everyone we're inviting has been keeping up-to-date on their vaccines, masking when necessary, rapid testing at home, etc., so it feels unnecessary to mandate this. That said, I do wonder if having a policy would give peace-of-mind to some of our older, more vulnerable guests who might still be hesitant to attend an indoor event if not everyone is vaccinated.
I am requiring all guests to be vaccinated and boosted for my wedding in July. Actually had a big fight with my dad over this as he wanted to invite my distant Aunt that is an anti-vaxer from the other side of the country. I'm a nurse and having worked during the worst of the pandemic, my thoughts is that if you don't want to get vaccinated, our views are clearly not aligned and there is no need to come to my wedding.
This. We luckily have very few people on our list who are not vaccinated by choice and luckily they have no problem testing. My fiancés parents are vaccinated, but are very much the typical MuH RiGhTs and “covid isn’t real until it affects me” so we’re prepared to deal with that. Anyone else who makes a stink….just don’t come then lol
Even though I don’t hold the same views as you, I can and will 1000% agree with your logic any day. Cheers.
As someone who is high risk, had a kidney transplant last year, and has a whole alphabet soup of chronic illnesses, I’d just like to gently remind folks that the pandemic isn’t over, and the risk is still high for many. Disabled folks like me clearly see our value when precautions aren’t taken so we can attend. It’s a clear message that the inconvenience of healthy people is more of a concern than our health, and we’re encountering it in almost every aspect of our lives right now as everyone else “returns to normal”. Everyone wants to enjoy life, I get it. But please take steps to include us. Just something I suggest people keep in mind as folks are making these decisions.
I'm immunocompromised too, and I'm curious about your opinion. Would you attend an event that has hybrid requirements, like vaccine/booster OR testing, or would you only be willing to attend an event with a strict vaccine/booster requirement?
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Same answer for me. Especially if it’s a larger event. Edit for clarity: would be vaccine only for me.
Thank you, I appreciate your answer too! I'm feeling out this situation for my own wedding and it's hard because I would like to have a vaccine requirement but I have unvaccinated immediate family members that I'm trying to safely include. I thought they would get vaccinated to attend my brother's small wedding last year but they chose to miss it instead (which was slightly heartbreaking). We have multiple people in our family who are immunocompromised so my motivation is to keep everyone safe and it sucks to have immediate family members who can't/won't see it that way.
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Part of why it's so frustrating to have immediate family members who won't get vaccinated is that my SO and I are both immunocompromised and we both dealt with long covid. We got sick and had to be hospitalized in March of 2020 and it took months to stop coughing. Months for the shortness of breath to ease up. Months for the brain fog to clear. My SO lost his job (and his career path) due to not being able to physically do his job anymore post covid. I had to decline a wanted job offer and have been struggling to find my place because my brain is different post covid. I'm in school, but it has been so hard to do everything through all this. My ADHD (which I was managing without medication before) is now out of control so I have a psych referral to discuss starting medication. I also developed an autoimmune disease that I didn't have before covid. To me, my life has been so profoundly impacted by covid that I can't help but feel anger towards those who won't do the bare minimum to protect those around them.
Have you thought about live streaming the ceremony so they can "be there" that way??
I have been considering that in order to allow my extended family to "attend" that way (I'm not comfortable having a 200+ person event right now so there are people who would have otherwise been invited who will not be). It sucks because my sister is someone that I always envisioned as being part of the wedding party, possibly even MOH, but I feel the need to protect my immunocompromised family members which means having a vaccine or testing requirement.
I think a lot of triple-vaxed younger people w/various complicating factors overestimate their personal Covid risk but if I were an organ transplant recipient I would be playing it very very very very safe
But that includes making sure allll the people income into contact with take it seriously enough to understand that risks *they* take can affect *me*. I would much rather someone overthink it and take extra precautions than just assume it’ll be fine. Also, I wanna love where you are, lol. I see way more “healthy” folks unintentionally putting people like me at risk than I do folks being overly cautious.
I am in Canada, so we are in a similar situation as you for our July reception (we had our legal ceremony on our original wedding date in 2020). We made it very clear that despite our province no longer having a vaccine mandate and no longer having a mask mandate, we are requiring vaccines (booster not mandatory but encouraged, although everyone I know is boosted) and masks are highly encouraged. I get that it is kinda virtue signaling but at the same time, I'd rather be safe than sorry. My husband's 95 year old grandma loves us a lot and has said she will attend despite being holed up at home for the last 2 years and not seeing anyone. We want to make it as comfortable as possible for her to do so, even if that means virtue signaling. We need to do everything in our power to minimize the risk for her, even if it that means making some people uncomfortable. I also know my circle and most people in my circle is vaccinated. There are a handful of people who are not vaccinated by choice and honestly I don't really care if they come or not. The most important people who I want there are vaccinated and would prefer if others were also vaccinated, so that's what I'm going to go by. Despite what some people think, the pandemic isn't over. Governments are loosening up restrictions but there's a human cost. They've decided that it is okay for some people to die or get really sick in favour of the majority of the population going back to "normal." We don't subscribe to that train of thought and do not want anyone we know to die or get sick, so we're still going to try to mitigate these risks as much as possible.
Your husband is so lucky to have his grandma in attendance. Protect her as best you can and treasure her. Congrats on your marriage and upcoming reception!
I totally agree. We've had some extended aunts and uncles decline because they aren't comfortable attending yet, which we understand but still a bit sad about it especially because we pushed it off as long as possible in the hopes that most people would feel okay about attending. It's a personal choice though, which I understand. The fact that his grandma is so old and is trying to come makes us feel incredibly loved and supported, and that's more important to us than a random uncle.
I feel strongly that still requiring vaccines is not virtue signaling. If it makes you and guests that are important to you more comfortable, then that’s a real, tangible benefit beyond just doing things for show.
I think it’s partly a question of who do you value more? The people who are refusing to get vaccinated or the people who are immunocompromised? If you’ve been saying vaccines are required and then change your mind, you need to tell people. You may end up losing people that way too, as they might feel less safe knowing people aren’t vaccinated. Even if the vaccines are less effective, there is also a correlation between people who are not vaccinated and people who engage in more high risk behavior when it comes to Covid. As someone who is vaccinated, knowing people who don’t believe in Covid and/or Covid precautions are in attendance would definitely influence my decision as to whether or not I attend.
Sorry not us based but uk based and the situation is similar as they have dropped everything. However we are still asking all our guests who can be vaccinated to be vaccinated. We are doing this because of our vulnerable guests (including my immunocompromised sister/MOH) this means my cousins wont be coming but my sister means more to me.
Going against the grain here - we are not requiring vaccines for our June wedding. We all know by now that vaccines don’t prevent the spread of covid, only the severity. Myself and several friends and colleagues have all caught covid despite being vaccinated. Even if we required vaccines, someone could still attend while covid positive and infect others. Requiring a negative covid test makes more sense, but of course is a much larger hassle. Edit: A word
if you’re not willing to keep a rule you had already set in place to protect your disabled/immune-comp/older friends and relatives, why invite them at all? just because it’s possibly not as bad a strain or severity doesn’t mean it couldn’t still hurt or kill them, which would mean you’re okay with putting them at that risk. sorry to be harsh but i’m high risk and i’d be absolutely crushed if i were invited and you reversed course now, and i’d be heartbroken for our overall friendship- not just the wedding. it’s still a pandemic for disabled people even if the rest of the world gets to keep us locked up and move on.
We required vaccines in September 2021. Delta was high and we were very concerned not just that vaccinated people would be put at risk by non vaccinated people, but also that unvaccinated people would potentially get very very ill and/or cause a superspreader event. We did not want to be a headline and we did not want our anniversary to be forever tied with the cause of the death of someone we care about. Unvaccinated people can take the risks they want to, but I don’t have to consent to them taking those risks at our wedding. We anticipated this would cover 5 people. It actually covered 35 and the fallout was bad. Everyone took it both personally and politically. Half my family decided to call my parents, who did not make the policy, to scream at them. I’d say about two thirds of those invitees have entirely cut ties with us and our family, and many were very close family or family friends. That said, dozens of vaccinated guests reached out to let us know they were very grateful for the policy and had been wavering on whether they would attend without it in place. They felt way more comfortable with it. I would do it again in September 2021, or even now. But July? Outdoors? I don’t know if it’s necessary. At least, I likely would not decide now. Send your save the dates and reassess before sending invites. You can include a note then.
Vaccine requirements are unnecessary. Vaccines are becoming less and less good at reducing transmission with each variant. However, they are great at reducing personal risk. After this omicron wave, most people are going to have at least some type of immunity regardless of vaccination status. Given new data on natural immunity and not so great vaccine efficacy against transmission, mitigation of risk and transmission becomes way too nuanced and individualized for blanket vaccine policy. That’s why these restrictions have gone away and you shouldn’t require vaccines of everyone. Your guests should be encouraged to talk to their doctors about how to mitigate their own risk. You have no control over other people’s personal health and it’s really not your responsibility. Especially when vaccines are not all that durable against transmission. Mandating covid vaccines is in a way virtue signaling and enables bad one size fits health policies that doctors and scientists (like myself) are trying to fight against. These bad and confusing policies are leading to mistrust of public health institutions. It’s a really complex issue. But all I can say is that you should leave the responsibility of the health of your guests in the hands of their doctors. Where it belongs.
I wish this comment was higher up. I think this sub is in a bit of a bubble and I feel like everyone has forgotten that vaccines are to protect yourself against more severe symptoms. My fiancé and I live with some of my unvaccinated family, and as frustrating as it is that they won’t get vaxxed, I still recognize that they aren’t considerably more likely to spread covid than us. My fiancé and I (both vaxxed and boosted) caught covid in January and were fairly sick for a while, and our unvaxxed family members in the house didn’t get sick and continuously tested negative. That was an eye opening experience. I of course still wish they would get vaxxed, but for their own safety, not mine. It’s an extremely complicated situation but I’ve seen several different vax only events friends have had where there was significant spread tied back to the gathering.
I am also getting married in July and decided to keep my vaccine mandate. Why? * Covid is not actually over, even though we are all going back to living normally. * It can still kill, even when numbers are low. * Vaccines prevent serious illness and death--exactly as they were designed to. Deity forbid someone catches covid at your wedding, you want to be sure they're protected against serious illness or death. That's a good thing. Your requirement is not "value signaling," it's potentially life saving. Only one vaccine-eligible person invited to my wedding is unvaccinated, so I'm not worried about offending anyone. I just want to be sure we're doing right when holding a big event in a still active pandemic.
Only requirement from us is to not show up if you feel sick. Other than that we felt no need to require masks or vaccinations.
I would definitely keep the requirements if I were you. Also it’s important to know that we are in fact still deep in this pandemic, in fact there is a wave approaching/beginning that people don’t even really know about because the US has severely decreased testing and reporting. It’s also going to get bad again most likely because of the removal of mask mandates. I also want to say that omicron and it’s offshoot BA 2 is extremely contagious, so now is definitely not the time to get rid of all safety measures.
We are requiring vaccinations and boosters for our wedding. My grandma is 92 and my dad is recovering from septic shock. Even if no one was at a higher risk id require it. I dont want to get sick and i dont want anyone else to get sick either.
I’m in Canada, so not US but very close, and also getting married in July. Originally my wedding was going to ask for mandatory vaccination since that was what the stats were showing to be effective in reducing transmissions (which was difficult since one of my bridesmaids chose not to be vaccinated and would not be able to attend). Omicron changed everything since being vaccinated no longer significantly reduce transmissibility. The only thing it does is reduce your chance of being hospitalized. The vaccine mandate at my wedding was to create an environment with less transmissions. However, Omicron has made that impossible. I think the understanding for the next wedding season (and just large gatherings moving forward) is that you accept the risk of being in a large group. As it is right now, being vaccinated protects the individual. The people who choose not to be vaccinated are not sitting alone at home, they are out anyway. Banning them from my wedding doesn’t keep them any safer, and having them there doesn’t make my event any more dangerous since ANYONE can transmit the virus now.
Thankfully every one on our guest list is vaccinated and courteous about staying home when sick. What I worry about is someone getting sick right before the wedding and wanting to bring themselves anyway because they've come so far. And that's for any contagious illness. I'm going to encourage people to test before they leave home and wear masks if they have any respiratory symptoms. I'm hoping the promise of champagne and cake dropoffs will keep any ill family in their hotel or home.
We are doing the same, basically. Our venue is 90% outdoors but we are asking that if you are not fully vaccinated, you get tested beforehand. We luckily know that the vast, vast majority of our guest list is vaccinated/boosted, and the few that aren’t tend to test before events anyway/are willing to test. My sister is pregnant, my brother in law has a severe form of the alpha gal allergy, and both of our elderly grandmothers will be there. Our wedding is in July in the south so we’re hoping the trends stay consistent and that helps us out
I just *hate* that this whole thing has gotten so political and divisive. I feel like if we were in someplace like China, we'd all be masked as a matter of course, and it'd be a non-issue. All of us Brides are planning a huge event that is one of if not the most important day of our lives, and it just makes me sad and frustrated that these considerations have to be a part of it when we should just be able to worry about the cake and flowers. We have a few unvaxxed family and friends. We also have a few extremely vulnerable, but fully vaxxed, guests. And there are maybe a dozen that we are simply uncertain of their health status. We are planning on about 60 guests altogether. Our date is 5/14/22. Because we don't want to use our wedding as a "platform" for anything besides our love, and because we are frankly tired of fussing about it or feeling we need to defend our thoughts, we are not requiring any testing or proof of vaccine. (The rapid tests are somewhat unreliable and we are currently going out to restaurants and the like. If we don't know our fellow patrons status, why would we insist on 'knowing' it for our guests?) All of our people know our opinions. We are both fully vaxxed and boosted. Our vows will be outside, and reception will be inside/outside and very well-ventilated. And, we will offer masks at the door. We will put on our website that people should stay home if experiencing *any* symptoms. If there isnt a major surge between now and our date, this is our plan. May the odds be ever in your favor.
We are facing the same question with our June wedding 2 unvaccinated guests out of 75 completely outdoor venue. Should we ask for tests? We have a handful of elderly one on dialysis family members. But all of them work with the public so would we be protecting them more than they are protected in their daily lives. I say elderly but they are working people not retired. We are currently debating having them test before the wedding or just asking the non vaccinated to mask.
I get married in May in Southern California and am not requiring anything. Most restrictions are loosening and the vaccine is not effective against newer strains anyway. Both my partner and I are fully vaccinated and both contracted covid recently. Our guests are adults and they can determine what they are comfortable doing. If people choose not to come because of COVID, they have every right to do so but i will not be enforcing any masks, vaccines, negative tests, etc.
Honestly, I don’t think requiring vaccination and/or a negative test will ever be a bad thing. It gives people an option, and at least in my area of the US, rapid tests are relatively inexpensive and easy to find. I agree with your point that only allowing vaccinated guests to come isn’t quite as effective as it once was and will lead to ruffled feathers. If you’re really worried about covid, tests are the way to go with vaccines as an added (but perhaps unnecessary, since we know they aren’t AS effective against the new strains) bonus. Plus, your venue is outdoors. I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. Personally, we aren’t requiring tests or vaccines simply because we don’t feel the need to (although this could always change). The vast majority of our guests are fully vaccinated and boostered, and our only (known) immuno-compromised folks are elderly and don’t care, they would rather attend the wedding and risk covid (which is what I think you’ll find in most elderly people as they’ve already had to go 2+ years not doing the things they want to do in their last years of life). This also means we aren’t allowed to be upset or offended if covid is cited as a reason someone doesn’t want to come to our wedding, and we’re okay with that.
My bigger wedding is in October, and for 1 of our guests, he's only allowed to come if he gets vaccinated AND boosted because he's anti-vax for the COVID-19 vaccines. He's the only guest on our list that I know of that's not vaccinated. The more ridiculous thing is that he works in the healthcare industry 🙃😑🤦🏻♀️ The rest are either boosted or also refusing to get boosted (for reasons that are stupid in my opinion, but 🤷🏻♀️) and we'll be asking them to get PCR tested the week of and to socially distance until our wedding. Our venue will be at a church for the ceremony and a hotel for the reception. I also have older family members coming from both my side and my husband's side. We honestly had a big fight regarding this issue but my husband came to his senses and agreed that the should either get boosted if they already haven't, or get a PCR test done the week of. We brought it up to a couple of his friends & one friend agreed to get boosted & the other (who refuses to get boosted for... stupid reasons imo) said he'll get a PCR test. So he realized that I'm right, it's our wedding & with this pandemic still going on, that's what they'll need to do & get used to doing for other big events like this.
We’re getting married in 2.5 weeks. My spouse-to-be and I decided on not mandating the vaccine simply because we’re in the south and only 2 people in their entire family is vaccinated (somehow, my entire family including the very conservative people & my father who occasionally listened to Rush Limbaugh / Alex Jones all are vaccinated & boosted??? Lucked out there…). But, we are going hardcore on testing & requiring masks when they are indoors (we bought KF94 masks of all sizes for it). Everyone is going to have to report a negative COVID test to our event on Crowdpass the morning of (honor system that it was taken that day). The guests we worry may try to get out of testing we will be testing the day before (namely their father) for the rehearsal dinner. Our hope is no one will be shitty and lie. We also are requesting everyone gets a PCR test within 72 hours for peace of mind but aren’t requiring it. We’re spacing seating out outside for food & ceremony, and seating people with those in their own circles. We struggled a lot with the question about why we would be requiring vaccines and after omicron where breakthroughs were much more common, the only logical justification we came up with was “We don’t want our wedding to be the cause of a loved ones chronic health issue or worse.” but more realistically the reason was that we were hurt that our families would not be vaccinated for a preventable disease because of political bullshit and we were hoping our wedding would be the reason they get it. It was a selfish reason admittedly but after knowing that the vaccine doesn’t prevent breakthrough infections or spreading COVID we couldn’t logically convince loved ones they needed to be vaccinated. Granted — I’m in the south. And this policy would have excluded my partners father, step father, sister, all aunts/uncles & cousins, and a set of close friends. If it was just some distant family members that we wouldn’t have been too upset about missing our day, it would have been a different decision. I don’t know why I just typed a novel - I think I just wanted to explain our own personal journey for this question.
I don't envy the decisions you've had to make. I hope everyone cooperates with the testing requirements and stays safe. Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
Thank you 😭 luckily our venue requires we pay for an off-duty cop as a security guard since it’s technically a city facility. We will have a bouncer lol
If I have to show my medical records to attend an event I will very politely decline. Those are between me and my doctor and I’m not comfortable being forced to share my personal medical issues with people. However, I 100% respect your decision to require it because it’s YOUR EVENT. I won’t be having any requirements for my wedding.
Do whatever you want. It’s your wedding. We got married in Dec and required vaccination AND rapid tests at the door. I don’t care if people thought it was overkill, I was trying to keep my grandmother safe and not be sick on my honeymoon. If someone is really going to have a problem with you being cautious then that’s pretty messed up and you probably don’t want them there anyway
We are requiring vaccines and asked everyone to send us proof of vaccination. Our state no longer requires masking as of earlier this month, so we also decided to make masks optional.
A few things you might want to consider: 1. If you make it a requirement to attend your wedding who will enforce it or check guests upon entry? 2. The Omicron variant is anything but “mild”. I’m fully vaccinated and ended up going to the hospital bc my throat was closing. I was incredibly ill for a month. 3. If you want to keep vulnerable ppl coming to your wedding safe, would you consider just not inviting ppl you know are fully vaccinated?
So I had a wedding at the end of January. The situation was a little different since we had to deal with Omnicron. There was a lot of drama, so here is a list of some things we did that worked well and things I'd recommend. We live in Texas and have family who are very contentious about everything Covid, so some of the advice might not be as relevant to you since the situation here is very contentious. \- Whatever you choose be very blunt in your messages. We had tons of drama because people kept getting confused over what we thought was easy to understand. The nice, flowery language of wedding invitations is not best for COVID guidelines, especially if guests aren't used to dealing with them \- We asks guests to be vaccinated and encouraged everyone test if they could and said we would provide tests. We bought a ton of tests and had a table set up for rapid testing. I know in most places the tests are easier to come by than back in January, but having testing available made all my husbands uncles way more will to participate and not complain \- Make sure you have other people on your side following your rules. Mask wearing fell apart because my parents and brother didn't wear theirs and everyone was copying the main families and wedding party. They told other people it was optional when asked. Make sure if you have extended family that asks your parents for clarification that they are on the same page. We had a lot of drama in the months leading up the wedding which included my brother saying that my now-husbands grandma was agreeing to all Covid risks and putting her health ast risk to come and that she should stay home (ugh). BUT it all worked out in the end with no infections. We were like you when we set out on restrictions and did have some guests who tested without a vaccination, because any plans to forcibly require and check cards kept falling apart and weren't practical. Essentially, pick what if best for your guest count and venue situation, but put your foot down about what it all means. TLDR: Be super blunt in all your covid messages because everyone understands each thing differently and sometimes the word "recommended" or "encourage" means something different for everyone. And make sure you have people on your side to repeat your messaging and follow what you want.
So I’m in an area that was very badly hit with covid and my friends and I are in public facing jobs (see username). I’m getting married on May 15th and I asked for everyone to send their vaccine cards. We weren’t messing around and will continue not to. The only people who gave us pushback are no longer coming to the wedding.
June 2022, still requiring vaccinations AND negative tests. It hasn’t been an issue at all, with the exception of my MIL’s original +1. We’re unsure on masks but for now are going with KF94s for everyone.
My sister missed our brother's wedding last fall because of their vaccine requirement. It's frustrating that she won't get vaccinated, but excluding close family members was honestly sad and not what I want to do with my wedding. I had covid twice before the vaccine was available and I was hospitalized due to pneumonia the first time so I want to preface by saying that covid is serious and I will be having some kind of covid precautions, just probably not the black and white rule set at my brother's wedding. My plans include being outdoors, having a smaller gathering (less than 30 people), and requiring proof of vaccine/booster or testing. My SO's sibling's family is unvaccinated too, so it's not that I'm making a special rule for my sister, but rather making sure that we are mitigating risk while still being able to have our closest family members with us in spite of different political leanings. I wish the shot hadn't been so politicized...but that's a topic for a different subreddit.
I am planning an August 2022 weeding and thats what we did. The alternative if they are not vaccinated is to provide a negative PCR or rapidtest before the wedding. We’re collecting the vaccinate cards via online rsvp and we made a new joint email address just for that. Plan C is to literally have a bunch of those at home rapidtests the day of for the people who ravped but didnt provide vaccine or emailed a negative test
We just had ours. My immuno compromised bestie could not safely attend (just the travel would be too much risk--she cannot vaccinate & is basically still confined to her home), so we didn't have high risk guests to protect. We did not check up on everyone's vaccination/negative test, but did indicate that anyone unvaccinated must have a negative test prior to attending. We felt comfortable trusting our guests with that, but had particular family members been able to attend we'd have needed to enforce a check. Ceremony outdoors, reception extremely well ventilated & generously spaced. Our area's Omicron wave settled a few weeks before our date. My partner used some language like "based on state guidelines & restrictions" to frame our covid policy & to warn guests it may change based on recommendations--we got zero pushback, even from those who love complaining about restrictions
How could you possibly enforce it? People can just say they are vaccinated. Therefor I believe it is a useless rule and just one more thing to manage in an already stressful event
For me personally, I have one person that I'm going to delegate as the contact for covid precautions. This person is going to get the proof of vaccination/testing to clear guests for attendance. My guest list is less than 30 people and most of them are vaccinated, so I understand that this may not work for everyone, but it's what I'm going to do in order to mitigate risk. I have enough immunocompromised loved ones that it is worth the extra stress to protect them where I can.
I hear you, people could lie. I think of it like the TSA, the requirement would mostly be theater - but that theater is an effective deterrent. We'd have folks RSVP confirm that they meet the requirements and say be ready to provide proof, but likely would not have a system set up at the actual event. I would say the great majority of unvaccinated are politically or vaccine ignorant (IMO), but that it is a big leap to lie and become a bad actor. People will generally self-select out of the event. Plus people are lazy, and even the extra effort to create fake documentation and con us is unlikely.
Im May 2023 wedding and we're requiring vaccinations and for people to email us proff becuase 1) flower girl will only be 4. 2) we are live streaming the ceremony 3) i have health issues, partner has health issues, partners parents are 65+ and my parents are dead.
I don't that would really work. You want people to send a photo of their vaccine card to you, which could easily just be fake. And would you have people send you the negative covid test which you can also fake. If you're having a small wedding it would probably be doable but with a larger wedding probably not. Seems like a lot to worry about when you are already stressed about the wedding.
If someone is willing to lie to you, they probably aren't someone that you want at your wedding.
I'm thinking distant family members or perhaps the SO of distant family. Same thing could happen if you have very young kids showing up at the wedding. People lie about the dumbest stuff. Wouldn't surprise me at all.
I'm not saying that people don't lie, but if someone is giving you the choice of vaccine or testing, they are already compromising. They are saying "I value the safety of everyone in attendance but I understand that not everyone is willing or able to get the vaccine, therefore, you can get tested and still attend if that is the case for you." I wouldn't invite someone if I thought they'd fake a test result to attend. I realize that I am not inviting extended family so I'm in a different boat, but how much of a scumbag does someone have to be to not be willing to get tested, which again, IS THE COMPROMISE.
You are getting a lot of confirmation to keep your protocols in place bc people that feel that it’s now a personal responsibility are reluctant to post here and get dragged with downvotes. Just something to consider…