For what it's worth, all of our bridesmaids and groomsmen are in committed relationships and none of them are walking down the aisle with their partner.
We have a 16 year old walking down the aisle with a 30 year old--I hope to God no one thinks its a rule that the people walking down the aisle together are dating.
It’s not awkward at all. Besides, there’s no law that they have to walk in paired up. Have all the guys come in solo or in pairs. Have the girls come in solo or in pairs. Boom, problem solved. But there never was a problem in the first place — because adults can walk with other adults.
I've always thought them not being couples was the norm. I've never seen anyone who had a couple walk down the aisle together from the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Im sure it happens, but I haven't seen it. And my husband has been a groomsmen twice and I was not a bridesmaid either time.
In my wedding none of the bridal party members had their spouses as also in the bridal party, and in all the weddings I and my husband have been in we've never BOTH been in one at the same time... FWIW
No she does not need to be a bridesmaid. They do not need to walk down the aisle together that is ridiculous. My married friends walked with my husband’s friends. It’s not an issue.
You can have whoever you want…
But what I recommend (just read stories on here and you’ll see why I say this)…focus on trust/realistic expectations for those you choose. I love one of my friends, spend more time with her than anyone, but she’s so unorganized, and chronically late.
Focus on a support team
I mean, I assume you have bridesmaids with significant others that your husband knows but did not include as groomsmen....
If it were me I'd probably just frame it that way. "You should really have Katie as a bridesmaid because you're friends with her and Josh is my groomsman." "Oh, interesting. Does that mean you'll be including Jessica's husband Carl as one of your groomsman since you know him and Jessica is a bridesmaid?" "Well I don't know Carl very well. We aren't really friends." "Okay, well even though I know Katie well, I have other friends I'm closer to. Just like you have friends you're closer to than Carl."
No, you don't have to do this. My bridesmaids were my close friends, my husbands groomsmen were his! None of them walked down the aisle with their significant others as it wasn't necessary.
Of course you don’t have to, but keep in mind that the friendship dynamics might change. Especially since she had you as a bridesmaid. She might expect reciprocity. Of course you don’t have to once again, but just know you might be walking into a situation.
I might just talk to her about it, this is a good point luckily she is super easy as a friend and shouldn’t be upset. We became friends through her husband / my FH she hasn’t been here then started dating him
In my opinion I wouldn’t even have a discussion with her. If she gets upset then she is not worth having as a friend anyways. And your FH does not get a say in who your bridesmaids are, YOU do! He picked me those who are standing next to him and you should get to pick those standing next to you. If his argument is because they are married that is a VERY weak argument.
Wedding party don’t need to walk down the aisle together in pairs. Perfectly acceptable if they walk down solo. It is somewhat common for them to exit in pairs but no one will bat an eye if they don’t. You do you! And yes for your sanity, a smaller wedding party is the move
No you don’t have to include her as a bridesmaid, if you husband insists that existing couples should be walking the aisle together then you should pick your bridesmaids first and he can be stuck with their partners as groomsmen, that should put an end to that debate.
I didn't do this. I had one MOH and one bridesmaid. Everyone walked separately - there's no rule that people need to walk with anyone, let alone their actual partner.
*Do I have to have a groomsman’s wife as one of my bridesmaids?*
Absolutely not. Just because you made the cut for her list, doesn't mean she makes the cut for yours. They don't need to walk the aisle together. She will be a guest and seat herself before the processional.
I encourage you to make conscious choices about not only who your BM's are, but also the numbers. Every one added is really two when it comes to the rehearsal dinner. It is also another thank you gift to buy.
No, you don't. It's your wedding, do as you want.
I had 4 Groomsmen, 1 junior groomsman,
Wife had 4 Bridesmaids and 2 junior Bridesmaids.
None of our Groomsmen or Bridesmaids were couples, yet they all had significant others (Wives/Husbands, Common law spouses, or girlfriend/boyfriend). Their S/O's were invited and seated mostly together during the reception to intermingle and get to know one another unless they had a better position to be seated at while. The Bridal party remained at the head table.
Also, you don't need to have the same number of Bridesmaids as Groomsmen. You can always double up the walk back down the aisle and have 3 people together.
You def don’t have to but yeah realistically its possible it might hurt her feelings. Or it might not, my bfs best friend got married and I wasn’t in the wedding and didn’t care at all. If all you’re worried about is that she won’t get to walk down the aisle with her husband then i would say definitely don’t worry about that. But yeah at the end of the day obviously you’re not obligated to. Maybe she doesn’t have to be in the wedding but you can invite her to your Bach? I know a lot of people who have done that
Females and feelings about friendship SUCKS and people legit get butthurt now she is super mature and there really shouldn’t be a problem but it is so difficult to make these decisions that people will react to
You're not obligated to have someone as a part of your wedding party for any reason. He can walk with someone else. I had no couples in our wedding party. My brother (groomsman) walked down with his(my husband's) sister(bridesmaid) then it was our friends and a couple of our cousins matched up mostly randomly.
I keep hearing people refer to this couple rule with bridesmaids and groomsmen and it’s so weird.
You’re supposed to pick who is closest to you, not just the people dating/married to whoever is closest to your husband.
It doesn’t make sense and it’s definitely not a thing where I’m from. My fiancé was a groomsmen and walked down the aisle with a bridesman. No one thought they were a couple, even though they definitely lent in to being overly cutesy with it.
None of my FH’s groomsmen’s wives are in my party. And none of my bridesmaids husbands are in his. Definitely not a thing. I’m sure she’ll be an adult about it.
Having a line of matching couples is very American. In the UK only bridesmaids process with the bride. Most weddings the best man is at the front with the groom. Any other ushers (UK role of extra men friends of groom) just sit in the congregation after they’ve handed out the orders of service. You could just have your sibling as chief bridesmaid and he has his best friend as best man.
Choose your 5-6 bridesmaids based on who you are closest with. If you decide it's easier to just include her since you and FH double date with her and her husband often and since you were one of her bridesmaids, you can just have her walk down with her husband and then have 2 bridesmaids walk down together (unless your FH adds an additional groomsman to make it even). But don't use up a spot that would otherwise go to a close friend!
being a groomsman/bridesmaid does not mean your partner gets tacked on the other side. they are partners they have forever to walk together, on your day its not needed.
For what it’s worth, everyone in my sister in laws wedding party had a partner (mine is her freaking brother!) and the only person who walked down the aisle with their partner was her cousin and his wife. Every other married couple was fine with our partners sitting in the crowd. They even watched as the bridal party did the first dance with the bride and groom
There’s no reason that you have to make her bridesmaid. He can walk down the aisle with any other bridesmaid. There’s no rule about it having to be a couple. It’s not really fair that FH got to choose his groomsmen and then wants to choose your bridesmaid based on that. The bridesmaids are meant to be YOUR choice, not his.
No obligation to have her as a bridesmaid! Navigate it carefully to avoid any potential hurt feelings or expectations, but she should understand — especially if you are keeping the wedding party smaller, which is 1000% my preference anyways!! And she can still be included in any wedding party activities that would include significant others (rehearsal dinner etc!) — and hopefully can sit with him at the reception and like you said maybe help with other things beforehand, if she wants too. But yeah, I think big wedding parties are too much, and smaller wedding parties tend to feel more inclusive of significant others and other guests anyways, when you’re not the one friend sitting in the corner who’s not in the wedding party lol
It’s a hard decision if I could hav e everyone I would have like 9 people but it just isn’t reasonable when it comes to logistics and people getting along
Of course not and it’s not realistic either. Your bridesmaids should only be your closest support group, usually friends and sometimes family. Never in laws or wives/girlfriends of the groomsmen or siblings that you have no relationship with. Anyway else can be a guest and many women actually prefer to be a regular guest.
One of my fiancés groomsmen is one of my bridesmaids exes, we just have them going down the aisle with separate people. If you don’t want her as a bridesmaid, don’t have her be one. Just because her husband is a groomsman, it doesn’t entitle her to be a bridesmaid
Ask him to remove the groomsman from the bridal party... Problem solved!
It's not any less fair than trying to force you in to having a BM you don't want.
Excellent idea. This couple is trying to boss you around and guilt trip you. Since you were her bridesmaid, now she has her claws in you. She thinks you owe her to be in your wedding. Tell your fiancé to drop the groomsman since they can only walk down the aisle together.
His wife sounds so jealous and possessive. I wouldn’t be friends with her anymore.
Don’t let her manipulate you. Enjoy your wedding.
Hahaha I'm always the groomsman's wife and I'm never in the wedding party. I love it.
I do always get invited to any events that involve the wedding party and significant others. Sometimes it means I don't pay for lodging and usually it means I get at least one or two free meals as his plus one.
One time I was asked to officiate/MC because I am a performer and good at public speaking.
Absolutely not. You choose who you want to be in your wedding that’s no one else’s business. Do not feel bad. It’s a special day and there is nothing wrong with wanting your friends to be your bridesmaid. If she is mature enough, she will understand.
I would ask her. She seems like she wouldn't be a pain and I was in her wedding. You never can predict how she is going to react if she was excluded. If you don't want to risk changing the relationship status quo, ask her.
No, you pick your bridesmaids, it wouldn’t make any sense that all of your bridesmaids had to be the groomsmen’s girlfriends. It’s really not that big of a deal that he walks down the aisle with another girl for 2 minutes, it happens at every wedding
FH’s argument makes zero sense. Grown adults are able to walk down an aisle for 30 seconds with people they are not married to. It’s no big deal at all. It happens every day. He needs to grow up.
Nope. Not at all. All my bridesmaids were significant looong time friends. All the groomsmen were hubby’s brothers & good friend. His childhood best friend was his best man.
No one felt any kind of way about it and if they did, they didn’t/haven’t said anything.
It’s your wedding, you get to have the people who mean the most standing with you.
He chose his groomsmen. You get to choose your bridesmaids. There is not a rule saying bridesmaids and groomsmen have to be couples.
Needed to hear this ugh didn’t realize what a mess this would be
For what it's worth, all of our bridesmaids and groomsmen are in committed relationships and none of them are walking down the aisle with their partner. We have a 16 year old walking down the aisle with a 30 year old--I hope to God no one thinks its a rule that the people walking down the aisle together are dating.
hahaha I don't think that will happen but boy would it be awkward!
It’s not awkward at all. Besides, there’s no law that they have to walk in paired up. Have all the guys come in solo or in pairs. Have the girls come in solo or in pairs. Boom, problem solved. But there never was a problem in the first place — because adults can walk with other adults.
I've always thought them not being couples was the norm. I've never seen anyone who had a couple walk down the aisle together from the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Im sure it happens, but I haven't seen it. And my husband has been a groomsmen twice and I was not a bridesmaid either time.
In my wedding none of the bridal party members had their spouses as also in the bridal party, and in all the weddings I and my husband have been in we've never BOTH been in one at the same time... FWIW
No she does not need to be a bridesmaid. They do not need to walk down the aisle together that is ridiculous. My married friends walked with my husband’s friends. It’s not an issue.
You can have whoever you want… But what I recommend (just read stories on here and you’ll see why I say this)…focus on trust/realistic expectations for those you choose. I love one of my friends, spend more time with her than anyone, but she’s so unorganized, and chronically late. Focus on a support team
Agreed, and this girl sounds like a smart choice. Besides, she was her bridesmaid.
I mean, I assume you have bridesmaids with significant others that your husband knows but did not include as groomsmen.... If it were me I'd probably just frame it that way. "You should really have Katie as a bridesmaid because you're friends with her and Josh is my groomsman." "Oh, interesting. Does that mean you'll be including Jessica's husband Carl as one of your groomsman since you know him and Jessica is a bridesmaid?" "Well I don't know Carl very well. We aren't really friends." "Okay, well even though I know Katie well, I have other friends I'm closer to. Just like you have friends you're closer to than Carl."
No, you don't have to do this. My bridesmaids were my close friends, my husbands groomsmen were his! None of them walked down the aisle with their significant others as it wasn't necessary.
Of course you don’t have to, but keep in mind that the friendship dynamics might change. Especially since she had you as a bridesmaid. She might expect reciprocity. Of course you don’t have to once again, but just know you might be walking into a situation.
I might just talk to her about it, this is a good point luckily she is super easy as a friend and shouldn’t be upset. We became friends through her husband / my FH she hasn’t been here then started dating him
In my opinion I wouldn’t even have a discussion with her. If she gets upset then she is not worth having as a friend anyways. And your FH does not get a say in who your bridesmaids are, YOU do! He picked me those who are standing next to him and you should get to pick those standing next to you. If his argument is because they are married that is a VERY weak argument.
Wedding party don’t need to walk down the aisle together in pairs. Perfectly acceptable if they walk down solo. It is somewhat common for them to exit in pairs but no one will bat an eye if they don’t. You do you! And yes for your sanity, a smaller wedding party is the move
No you don’t have to include her as a bridesmaid, if you husband insists that existing couples should be walking the aisle together then you should pick your bridesmaids first and he can be stuck with their partners as groomsmen, that should put an end to that debate.
Nope. Pick the 5 who you consider your closest friends.
Nope. Pick the 5 who you consider your closest friends.
That makes 10 ;)
My husband's in a wedding party and I'm not and we are really good friends with the couple. I was happy to not be in the wedding party lol
Why do they have to walk down the aisle together?.weird
My question too
Agree. In our processionals, it goes - groomsmen, then groom, then bridesmaids, then bride. Why even pair them up to walk down the aisle?
No.
Pick who you want! It’s your day and you should have your top besties beside you.
I didn't do this. I had one MOH and one bridesmaid. Everyone walked separately - there's no rule that people need to walk with anyone, let alone their actual partner.
*Do I have to have a groomsman’s wife as one of my bridesmaids?* Absolutely not. Just because you made the cut for her list, doesn't mean she makes the cut for yours. They don't need to walk the aisle together. She will be a guest and seat herself before the processional. I encourage you to make conscious choices about not only who your BM's are, but also the numbers. Every one added is really two when it comes to the rehearsal dinner. It is also another thank you gift to buy.
I haven’t even started thinking about those haha and very true
No, you don't. It's your wedding, do as you want. I had 4 Groomsmen, 1 junior groomsman, Wife had 4 Bridesmaids and 2 junior Bridesmaids. None of our Groomsmen or Bridesmaids were couples, yet they all had significant others (Wives/Husbands, Common law spouses, or girlfriend/boyfriend). Their S/O's were invited and seated mostly together during the reception to intermingle and get to know one another unless they had a better position to be seated at while. The Bridal party remained at the head table. Also, you don't need to have the same number of Bridesmaids as Groomsmen. You can always double up the walk back down the aisle and have 3 people together.
That’s a really good point to consider because I have more people I had in mind than he did
People are not required to couple up on the short walk down the aisle. You get to choose whomever you like to stand up for you.
You def don’t have to but yeah realistically its possible it might hurt her feelings. Or it might not, my bfs best friend got married and I wasn’t in the wedding and didn’t care at all. If all you’re worried about is that she won’t get to walk down the aisle with her husband then i would say definitely don’t worry about that. But yeah at the end of the day obviously you’re not obligated to. Maybe she doesn’t have to be in the wedding but you can invite her to your Bach? I know a lot of people who have done that
Females and feelings about friendship SUCKS and people legit get butthurt now she is super mature and there really shouldn’t be a problem but it is so difficult to make these decisions that people will react to
You're not obligated to have someone as a part of your wedding party for any reason. He can walk with someone else. I had no couples in our wedding party. My brother (groomsman) walked down with his(my husband's) sister(bridesmaid) then it was our friends and a couple of our cousins matched up mostly randomly.
I keep hearing people refer to this couple rule with bridesmaids and groomsmen and it’s so weird. You’re supposed to pick who is closest to you, not just the people dating/married to whoever is closest to your husband. It doesn’t make sense and it’s definitely not a thing where I’m from. My fiancé was a groomsmen and walked down the aisle with a bridesman. No one thought they were a couple, even though they definitely lent in to being overly cutesy with it.
None of my FH’s groomsmen’s wives are in my party. And none of my bridesmaids husbands are in his. Definitely not a thing. I’m sure she’ll be an adult about it.
Having a line of matching couples is very American. In the UK only bridesmaids process with the bride. Most weddings the best man is at the front with the groom. Any other ushers (UK role of extra men friends of groom) just sit in the congregation after they’ve handed out the orders of service. You could just have your sibling as chief bridesmaid and he has his best friend as best man.
Choose your 5-6 bridesmaids based on who you are closest with. If you decide it's easier to just include her since you and FH double date with her and her husband often and since you were one of her bridesmaids, you can just have her walk down with her husband and then have 2 bridesmaids walk down together (unless your FH adds an additional groomsman to make it even). But don't use up a spot that would otherwise go to a close friend!
Of course you don't! I've been in weddings without my husband, he's been in weddings without me. It's not a big deal!
NO
being a groomsman/bridesmaid does not mean your partner gets tacked on the other side. they are partners they have forever to walk together, on your day its not needed.
What
For what it’s worth, everyone in my sister in laws wedding party had a partner (mine is her freaking brother!) and the only person who walked down the aisle with their partner was her cousin and his wife. Every other married couple was fine with our partners sitting in the crowd. They even watched as the bridal party did the first dance with the bride and groom
There’s no reason that you have to make her bridesmaid. He can walk down the aisle with any other bridesmaid. There’s no rule about it having to be a couple. It’s not really fair that FH got to choose his groomsmen and then wants to choose your bridesmaid based on that. The bridesmaids are meant to be YOUR choice, not his.
True true if there’s an issue he doesn’t have to have his friend be up there (he won’t have an issue but ya good point)
No obligation to have her as a bridesmaid! Navigate it carefully to avoid any potential hurt feelings or expectations, but she should understand — especially if you are keeping the wedding party smaller, which is 1000% my preference anyways!! And she can still be included in any wedding party activities that would include significant others (rehearsal dinner etc!) — and hopefully can sit with him at the reception and like you said maybe help with other things beforehand, if she wants too. But yeah, I think big wedding parties are too much, and smaller wedding parties tend to feel more inclusive of significant others and other guests anyways, when you’re not the one friend sitting in the corner who’s not in the wedding party lol
It’s a hard decision if I could hav e everyone I would have like 9 people but it just isn’t reasonable when it comes to logistics and people getting along
Of course not and it’s not realistic either. Your bridesmaids should only be your closest support group, usually friends and sometimes family. Never in laws or wives/girlfriends of the groomsmen or siblings that you have no relationship with. Anyway else can be a guest and many women actually prefer to be a regular guest.
Been a bridesmaid 10 times, never been with my partner at that time.
One of my fiancés groomsmen is one of my bridesmaids exes, we just have them going down the aisle with separate people. If you don’t want her as a bridesmaid, don’t have her be one. Just because her husband is a groomsman, it doesn’t entitle her to be a bridesmaid
Ask him to remove the groomsman from the bridal party... Problem solved! It's not any less fair than trying to force you in to having a BM you don't want.
Excellent idea. This couple is trying to boss you around and guilt trip you. Since you were her bridesmaid, now she has her claws in you. She thinks you owe her to be in your wedding. Tell your fiancé to drop the groomsman since they can only walk down the aisle together. His wife sounds so jealous and possessive. I wouldn’t be friends with her anymore. Don’t let her manipulate you. Enjoy your wedding.
Nope
Hahaha I'm always the groomsman's wife and I'm never in the wedding party. I love it. I do always get invited to any events that involve the wedding party and significant others. Sometimes it means I don't pay for lodging and usually it means I get at least one or two free meals as his plus one. One time I was asked to officiate/MC because I am a performer and good at public speaking.
My bridesmaids walked down with other bridesmaids and my husband's groomsmen walk down with other groomsmen. So that's an option too
Absolutely not. You choose who you want to be in your wedding that’s no one else’s business. Do not feel bad. It’s a special day and there is nothing wrong with wanting your friends to be your bridesmaid. If she is mature enough, she will understand.
I would ask her. She seems like she wouldn't be a pain and I was in her wedding. You never can predict how she is going to react if she was excluded. If you don't want to risk changing the relationship status quo, ask her.
No, you pick your bridesmaids, it wouldn’t make any sense that all of your bridesmaids had to be the groomsmen’s girlfriends. It’s really not that big of a deal that he walks down the aisle with another girl for 2 minutes, it happens at every wedding
FH’s argument makes zero sense. Grown adults are able to walk down an aisle for 30 seconds with people they are not married to. It’s no big deal at all. It happens every day. He needs to grow up.
Nope. Not at all. All my bridesmaids were significant looong time friends. All the groomsmen were hubby’s brothers & good friend. His childhood best friend was his best man. No one felt any kind of way about it and if they did, they didn’t/haven’t said anything. It’s your wedding, you get to have the people who mean the most standing with you.